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1
00:00:15,387 --> 00:00:16,590
Look at this line.
2
00:00:16,690 --> 00:00:18,694
This is the big opening
of our nightclub
3
00:00:18,794 --> 00:00:20,097
and everyone is here.
4
00:00:20,197 --> 00:00:22,368
Grundwulf, you old fornicator,
5
00:00:22,468 --> 00:00:23,838
don't you look snazzy?
6
00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:25,575
Frau Blixen, you bitch.
7
00:00:25,675 --> 00:00:30,350
To launch our grand opening,
we are going to be presenting
8
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:33,123
the one and the only--
9
00:00:33,223 --> 00:00:34,726
drumroll--
10
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,029
Richie Suck!
11
00:00:36,129 --> 00:00:37,832
Wow!
12
00:00:37,933 --> 00:00:40,204
If you are a vampire,
then you will know
13
00:00:40,304 --> 00:00:41,607
who Richie Suck is.
14
00:00:41,707 --> 00:00:43,310
He is probably the greatest
vampire rap artist
15
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:44,546
of all time.
16
00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:45,882
He's actually sucked
Richie Suck,
17
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:47,953
haven't you, Phillip?
18
00:00:48,053 --> 00:00:50,625
Bitin' My Style or
Sundown Funtown.
19
00:00:50,725 --> 00:00:53,463
And everyone knows
Throat Juice.
20
00:00:53,564 --> 00:00:55,100
"Gonna bust loose
21
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,336
"on the club roof
22
00:00:56,436 --> 00:00:57,806
"sucking throat juice
23
00:00:57,906 --> 00:00:59,743
like it's Grey Goose."
24
00:00:59,843 --> 00:01:01,212
Richie Suck has not performed
25
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:04,051
or put out any new music
for ten years.
26
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,022
It is said that he has gone
into seclusion
27
00:01:06,122 --> 00:01:07,993
to work on
his ultimate masterpiece.
28
00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:10,030
Doing his first live
performance in over a decade
29
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:11,967
is a very huge deal for him.
30
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,671
And it's also
a huge deal for us.
31
00:01:13,771 --> 00:01:16,209
This is my club, everyone,
just so you know.
32
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:17,211
I'm Nadja,
33
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,413
and it's called Nadja's.
34
00:01:18,514 --> 00:01:19,950
It's my club!
35
00:01:24,025 --> 00:01:26,329
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪
36
00:01:26,429 --> 00:01:29,603
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
37
00:01:29,703 --> 00:01:32,542
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪
38
00:01:32,642 --> 00:01:35,447
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪
39
00:01:36,115 --> 00:01:39,088
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪
40
00:01:39,188 --> 00:01:41,694
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪
41
00:01:41,794 --> 00:01:45,067
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪
42
00:01:45,167 --> 00:01:47,739
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪
43
00:01:56,523 --> 00:01:58,026
Coming through, that's right.
44
00:01:58,126 --> 00:02:00,364
Um, we're going to try
and keep these dogs at bay
45
00:02:00,464 --> 00:02:02,301
for another hour or two,
okay, guys?
46
00:02:02,401 --> 00:02:04,806
'Cause we want to try and
build anticipation and desire.
47
00:02:04,906 --> 00:02:06,442
I can't tell if she heard me.
48
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,248
Does anyone down here
want to see Richie Suck?
49
00:02:10,852 --> 00:02:15,561
I said, are there any vampires
in this motherfucking dungeon
50
00:02:15,662 --> 00:02:17,832
who want to see Richie Suck?
51
00:02:20,538 --> 00:02:22,776
And you'll just have to wait
a little bit longer
52
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,445
and then you will pay her,
53
00:02:24,546 --> 00:02:26,316
and then you'll probably have
to wait a little bit longer.
54
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:28,521
Yay, we love to wait.
55
00:02:28,621 --> 00:02:29,957
Yeah!
56
00:02:30,057 --> 00:02:31,694
Um, if any of them try
to start to kill you,
57
00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:34,800
just let me know and I will send
someone down to take your place.
58
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,269
Love the pillows.
59
00:02:36,369 --> 00:02:38,106
I know you haven't had
a pillow before,
60
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,475
but they have to be soft.
61
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,547
Everything is in order,
Mistress Nadja.
62
00:02:41,647 --> 00:02:43,718
The wraiths have topped off
the blood sprinklers.
63
00:02:43,818 --> 00:02:44,987
Wonderful.
64
00:02:45,087 --> 00:02:47,091
People think that
a vampire nightclub
65
00:02:47,191 --> 00:02:49,061
is just a 24-hour
live suck-and-fuck fest
66
00:02:49,161 --> 00:02:50,765
that prints money.
67
00:02:50,865 --> 00:02:53,136
But it is not.
No, it's a lot of hard work.
68
00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:54,740
Nandor.
69
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,075
What are you doing
just stood there
70
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,579
like a big fat mopey load?
71
00:02:57,679 --> 00:02:59,983
- Where is your undead fiancée?
- Marwa is at home.
72
00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:02,388
I'm kind of giving her
some space.
73
00:03:02,488 --> 00:03:03,423
Oh.
74
00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:08,333
Can you go and stand over there
and just pretend not to listen?
75
00:03:08,433 --> 00:03:09,435
I can do that.
76
00:03:09,536 --> 00:03:11,172
Trouble in paradise
already, is it?
77
00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:14,445
It's just...
Marwa is the perfect woman.
78
00:03:14,546 --> 00:03:16,182
- Right.
- And I've got the djinn
79
00:03:16,282 --> 00:03:18,153
to make her even more perfect.
80
00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:19,790
I mean, you should see
the modifications
81
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:21,159
we've done to her ass.
82
00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:22,662
- But...
- Ass, butt,
83
00:03:22,762 --> 00:03:25,267
whatever you want to call it.
It is now perfect.
84
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,471
But... the problem is...
85
00:03:27,572 --> 00:03:28,974
Again, the butt
is not the problem.
86
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,647
The problem is
that she is so perfect.
87
00:03:31,747 --> 00:03:34,085
I am just worried that...
88
00:03:34,185 --> 00:03:36,122
I am not perfect enough for her.
89
00:03:36,222 --> 00:03:37,491
It's never too late
to do some improvements
90
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:38,861
on yourself, so as...
91
00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,366
you would be deserving
of her love, huh?
92
00:03:41,466 --> 00:03:42,167
Yes.
93
00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:43,871
I had not thought of that.
94
00:03:43,971 --> 00:03:46,409
Thank you. I will try this.
95
00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:48,914
- And nice hats.
- Thank you.
96
00:03:49,014 --> 00:03:51,018
It's okay, thank you.
Don't mind if I do?
97
00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:54,258
Ooh, so exciting, ha!
98
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:56,563
- Mistress Nadja?
- Yes?
99
00:03:56,663 --> 00:03:59,770
I am afraid Richie Suck
has cancelled.
100
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,239
What?
101
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:05,213
Motherfucker!
102
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,051
Oh, shit.
103
00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:12,796
Richie Suck lives
in a smokestack?
104
00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:14,298
Okay, when we get inside,
105
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:17,071
I'm going to go in and scare him
and be the bad cop,
106
00:04:17,171 --> 00:04:19,241
and you're going to go to him
and be very friendly.
107
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:21,312
- The good cop, you know?
- I ain't a cop.
108
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:22,515
It's a tactic.
109
00:04:22,615 --> 00:04:25,521
Look, I ain't a cop
or a narc or a snitch.
110
00:04:25,621 --> 00:04:28,426
It is pretend.
Keep your perm on.
111
00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:29,563
Open up!
112
00:04:29,663 --> 00:04:31,567
Can I help you?
113
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,806
Where the hell is Richie Suck?
Take us to him at once.
114
00:04:34,906 --> 00:04:36,810
My master is not
to be disturbed.
115
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:37,946
He's resting right now.
116
00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:40,016
Like hell he is.
117
00:04:40,117 --> 00:04:41,720
He's supposed to be
performing tonight.
118
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,022
I'm not inviting you in.
119
00:04:43,123 --> 00:04:44,593
Hey, Tom. Just let them in, Tom.
120
00:04:44,693 --> 00:04:46,162
Oh, come on.
121
00:04:46,262 --> 00:04:48,099
Sounded like an invite to me.
122
00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:49,603
Thank you. Move.
123
00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:51,072
Okay, you pussy bitch,
I'm telling you,
124
00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:52,207
you cannot cancel the show.
125
00:04:52,307 --> 00:04:53,577
What the fuck are you doing?
126
00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:54,980
- Chillin'?
- Chilling?
127
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,017
You need to leave.
128
00:04:57,117 --> 00:04:59,155
My master is way
too tired for this.
129
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,457
Good night.
130
00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:01,994
Richie Suck, who the hell
is this jackzass?
131
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:05,066
- This is my familiar, Tom.
- Doctor Tom.
132
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:06,937
And you let him speak
to you like this?
133
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:08,541
I take care of my master.
134
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,878
He's been traumatized
by the music business.
135
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,882
Okay, okay. Begone, familiar.
136
00:05:12,982 --> 00:05:14,185
I'm not speaking to you.
137
00:05:14,285 --> 00:05:16,122
This is a vampires-only
discussion.
138
00:05:16,222 --> 00:05:17,157
Right, Richie?
139
00:05:17,257 --> 00:05:18,828
Tom protects me from myself,
140
00:05:18,928 --> 00:05:20,430
so you need to be respectful.
141
00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:22,936
- Of a familiar?
- I have a name.
142
00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:24,338
Shut up, familiar Tom.
143
00:05:24,438 --> 00:05:26,810
It's "Doctor Tom."
Oh. A doctor?
144
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,213
Diagnose this.
145
00:05:28,313 --> 00:05:30,718
It's a middle finger in my face.
146
00:05:32,321 --> 00:05:34,659
He's a good doctor.
147
00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:35,995
Hey, guys, what's up?
148
00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:37,397
Before we dive in,
be sure to smash
149
00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:39,034
the like button and subscribe.
150
00:05:39,134 --> 00:05:40,437
It really helps up
my channel a lot.
151
00:05:40,538 --> 00:05:42,007
So...
152
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:44,245
Baby Colin is growing
at an alarming rate.
153
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,750
Check out this village
from Infinity Wars.
154
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,052
It's cool, right?
155
00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:49,121
I mean, last week
156
00:05:49,221 --> 00:05:50,525
he was in diapers, and this week
157
00:05:50,625 --> 00:05:52,494
he looks like a six,
seven-year-old, maybe?
158
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:54,265
I mean, every time I buy him
a new pair of shoes,
159
00:05:54,365 --> 00:05:56,002
he outgrows them between
breakfast and lunch.
160
00:05:56,102 --> 00:05:57,605
But guess what? You can mod it
161
00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,343
so it looks just like
the set of South Pacific.
162
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,247
- I turn the set...
- Oh, no. Gizmo.
163
00:06:02,347 --> 00:06:05,655
There you are. What the fuck
have you got that boy doing?
164
00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:07,659
What? I didn't do anything.
He does that all on his own.
165
00:06:07,759 --> 00:06:09,563
I told you I wanted him to grow up...
- See?
166
00:06:09,663 --> 00:06:11,265
...to be an interesting
son of a bitch,
167
00:06:11,365 --> 00:06:12,735
practicing fine art and culture.
168
00:06:12,836 --> 00:06:14,873
So how come he's still
doing this boring shit?
169
00:06:14,973 --> 00:06:16,743
To him, this isn't boring.
He's just like any other kid
170
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:20,818
who likes Legos and Roblox
and Nerf guns and musi...
171
00:06:20,918 --> 00:06:23,189
- All that stuff.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. And musi...?
172
00:06:23,289 --> 00:06:25,595
- What?
- And musi...?
173
00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:28,366
What were you going to say?
174
00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:31,138
Okay.
175
00:06:31,239 --> 00:06:34,044
He really loves
musical theater.
176
00:06:34,846 --> 00:06:36,349
Oh, no.
177
00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:38,486
What hath the dark lord wrought?
178
00:06:38,587 --> 00:06:39,923
Stop, okay?
179
00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:41,593
Maybe it's good for him.
It's a good art,
180
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,064
no different than
literature or the cinema...
181
00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,902
It is not like any other art.
182
00:06:46,002 --> 00:06:49,008
Musical theater is the lowest
of all entertainments.
183
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,511
It's a gutter pantomime,
184
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,949
performed by half-wits
with painted faces,
185
00:06:53,049 --> 00:06:54,619
enjoyed by lower wits.
186
00:06:54,719 --> 00:06:56,489
Maybe some.
But have you ever seen Rent?
187
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,794
From you? Not a penny.
Anyway. Shut up.
188
00:06:58,894 --> 00:07:00,030
I forbid it.
189
00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,667
No, he's a child.
This is who he is.
190
00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,202
- And you have to learn to acce--
- Don't you fuckin' tell me--
191
00:07:03,303 --> 00:07:04,839
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
192
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,743
- Great to see you.
- Guess what? Come look at this.
193
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,313
Wow, big time studio here.
194
00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:10,183
Yeah, I got two subscribers.
195
00:07:10,283 --> 00:07:12,054
You got two subscribers?
Someone's a star.
196
00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,132
♪ ♪
I'm exposing
197
00:07:18,232 --> 00:07:19,769
my boy to danger.
198
00:07:19,869 --> 00:07:21,439
Namely, art theft.
199
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:24,746
No boy of mine's gonna be a
pasty-faced musical theater nut
200
00:07:24,846 --> 00:07:27,552
with a Sondheim lyric
for every occasion.
201
00:07:27,652 --> 00:07:29,021
- Lazzo, guess what?
- What?
202
00:07:29,121 --> 00:07:30,725
Do you know what knolling is?
203
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,160
It's... Hey!
204
00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:36,202
So knolling is this thing
in Legos where you, like,
205
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,641
organize all the pieces
before you build it. Oh!
206
00:07:38,741 --> 00:07:41,312
No more musicals and Legos.
It's time to grow up.
207
00:07:41,412 --> 00:07:43,483
Bat.
208
00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:46,923
Once I learned how to knoll,
209
00:07:47,024 --> 00:07:48,727
I threw away all my
Lego instruction booklets.
210
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,063
Fantastic.
211
00:07:50,163 --> 00:07:52,367
- Use this magic powder...
- Uh-huh.
212
00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:54,171
...to find
the laser alarm triggers.
213
00:07:54,271 --> 00:07:57,044
Okay. Whoa.
214
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,616
Then, you have
to avoid the lasers.
215
00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:01,753
Much like this.
216
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:05,427
Oh, ho!
217
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,429
Hello.
218
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:07,665
Oh, yes.
219
00:08:07,765 --> 00:08:09,134
Fuck it.
220
00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:10,838
See?
221
00:08:10,938 --> 00:08:12,675
- You're like a big Slinky.
- All right.
222
00:08:12,775 --> 00:08:16,182
Then you take this glass cutter
and cut a hole in here.
223
00:08:16,282 --> 00:08:18,019
- But, Lazzo, guess what?
- What?
224
00:08:18,119 --> 00:08:21,058
I used knolling when I got
that Stranger Things Lego set.
225
00:08:21,158 --> 00:08:24,198
I used it to make the library
in The Music Man, which is...
226
00:08:24,298 --> 00:08:25,935
Boy, we don't have time
for this right now.
227
00:08:26,035 --> 00:08:28,172
- Let's get on.
- Okay, but, Lazzo, guess what?
228
00:08:28,272 --> 00:08:29,609
You don't have to keep saying
"Guess what?"
229
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,580
to preface every remark
that you make.
230
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,218
Just say whatever the fuck
it is that you want to say.
231
00:08:34,318 --> 00:08:37,257
Uh, I'm sorry.
232
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,428
No, look, I'm...
233
00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:41,098
I'm sorry. What is it
that you wanted to say?
234
00:08:41,198 --> 00:08:44,739
That set broke, so I shoved
all the pieces under the bed.
235
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:48,479
Okay. Fair enough. Now,
can we continue with the crime?
236
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:50,250
Yeah, sure. Do you think
that Marian...
237
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:52,789
What the fuck are you doing? I just said...
238
00:08:52,889 --> 00:08:54,859
- Shut up.
- ...because it kind of rhymes with "librarian,"
239
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:56,062
or do you think it was so...
240
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,299
I decided
241
00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:01,005
that to improve
my relationship with my fiancée
242
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,911
I need to do
some work on myself.
243
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,146
Hmm. It couldn't hurt.
244
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,685
Little things like being present
245
00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:10,891
- or being a good listener.
- Don't be so stupid, Guillermo.
246
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,899
I wish to have
the world's biggest penis.
247
00:09:14,999 --> 00:09:16,703
I see.
248
00:09:16,803 --> 00:09:17,939
Hmm.
249
00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,174
Of course. Your wish is...
250
00:09:19,274 --> 00:09:20,611
Oh, actually, can I just call
251
00:09:20,711 --> 00:09:22,715
a quick time-out?
Can I have a minute with Nandor?
252
00:09:22,815 --> 00:09:25,253
If you'd be so kind
as to give us a moment, Djinn.
253
00:09:25,353 --> 00:09:26,590
Is there a reason
why you have delayed
254
00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:28,393
the bestowal upon me
a giant dick?
255
00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:29,896
You need to be really
careful here, okay?
256
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,200
'Cause these djinns,
they like to be tricky.
257
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,071
Yes, I have heard this.
258
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,475
Yeah, and if you're not precise
and perfect with your wish,
259
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,279
it can come back
to bite you in the ass.
260
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:40,150
Are you saying
he's gonna give me a penis
261
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,920
that's gonna bite me
in my own ass?
262
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:45,260
What? No. But may-maybe. Yes.
To teach you a lesson.
263
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,763
Make sure that it's where
it's supposed to be,
264
00:09:46,863 --> 00:09:48,366
and not like a random spot
like your forehead.
265
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:49,702
I get what you're saying.
266
00:09:49,803 --> 00:09:51,973
This reminds me of
the tale of the man
267
00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:54,044
who wished to be
the richest man in the world,
268
00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:57,685
but was then crushed
under a mountain of gold coins.
269
00:09:57,785 --> 00:09:59,622
Exactly. Irony.
270
00:09:59,722 --> 00:10:02,862
Not iron. Gold. Gold coins.
Try to keep up.
271
00:10:02,962 --> 00:10:05,066
- All right.
- Okay. I'm going to ask
272
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,335
for the world's biggest penis,
273
00:10:06,435 --> 00:10:08,941
but not so big
that it crushes me.
274
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,210
Good.
275
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,882
And that it replaces
my current penis,
276
00:10:12,982 --> 00:10:15,220
not an additional one.
277
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,857
Or... extra penis
278
00:10:16,957 --> 00:10:19,461
attached to the end
of the one I have already.
279
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:20,998
We should really be
writing this down.
280
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:22,769
Don't worry so much
about the show.
281
00:10:22,869 --> 00:10:25,841
You can just do the hits
and let us do the rest.
282
00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:28,514
- And...
- Oh. ♪ Do-do-do-do-do. ♪
283
00:10:28,614 --> 00:10:31,352
You can have as much blood
as you like.
284
00:10:31,452 --> 00:10:33,222
- Virgin. Huh?
- No.
285
00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:34,692
Just a little sippy sip?
286
00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:37,297
You're not hungry, Master.
That's in your mind.
287
00:10:37,397 --> 00:10:38,801
- Please.
- No.
288
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:41,038
- Just a little sip.
- It's not feeding time.
289
00:10:41,138 --> 00:10:43,376
Look...
290
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,746
I'm sorry.
291
00:10:44,846 --> 00:10:47,117
- Ew.
- I'm sorry. I love you, Master.
292
00:10:47,217 --> 00:10:48,620
I'm just here to protect you.
293
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,891
Obviously, Richie is being
very much manipulated
294
00:10:50,991 --> 00:10:51,893
by his familiar, Tom.
295
00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:53,329
You don't want this.
296
00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:54,498
It is something that happens.
297
00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:55,768
Yeah, not so much with vampires,
298
00:10:55,868 --> 00:10:58,105
but all the time
in the music business.
299
00:10:58,206 --> 00:10:59,742
So we both thank you very much.
300
00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:01,445
- I kind of want it, though.
- And we're gonna give it...
301
00:11:01,546 --> 00:11:02,982
- We're gonna give it back.
- Sippy, sippy.
302
00:11:03,082 --> 00:11:04,418
- If you can help me...
- Just a little corner, man.
303
00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:06,121
You don't want it. No blood.
304
00:11:06,222 --> 00:11:08,660
But we'd like twice the money.
305
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,265
And we're only doing
new material.
306
00:11:11,365 --> 00:11:12,267
Come on.
307
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,971
It's Richie Suck.
308
00:11:14,071 --> 00:11:16,075
Featuring DJ Tom Schmidt.
309
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,879
I thought you were Doctor Tom.
310
00:11:17,979 --> 00:11:20,250
I'm Doctor Tom, the DJ.
311
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:22,287
Okay. Fine. It is settled.
312
00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:24,358
You will be there, okay?
In 30 minutes.
313
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:27,264
I also happen to manage
a small jazz trio.
314
00:11:27,364 --> 00:11:30,270
It'd be great as an opening act.
They're called the Jazzmen 3.
315
00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:31,706
They wail.
316
00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,142
Obviously,
317
00:11:33,242 --> 00:11:34,478
we've got to kill this Tom guy.
318
00:11:34,579 --> 00:11:36,315
Yes, also very standard
319
00:11:36,415 --> 00:11:37,985
music business protocol, but...
320
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:40,524
Please, can we put a pin in that
until after the show?
321
00:11:40,624 --> 00:11:41,860
Of course.
322
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,410
It would appear
the boy has no interest
323
00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:51,813
in larceny or vandalism.
324
00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:53,684
And obviously,
he's too young for whoring.
325
00:11:53,784 --> 00:11:56,422
So to keep this excursion from
being a total waste of time,
326
00:11:56,523 --> 00:11:58,392
I threw him in this dumpster,
327
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,163
and told him
he wasn't allowed out
328
00:12:00,263 --> 00:12:01,933
until he'd killed six rats.
329
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:03,436
Hey, Lazzo, guess what?
330
00:12:03,537 --> 00:12:04,739
- What?
- Some dumb idiot
331
00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:06,475
threw out all these Playbills.
332
00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,045
This one's from Miss Saigon.
333
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,118
Did you know they used
a real helicopter on stage?
334
00:12:11,218 --> 00:12:12,755
But I don't think it could fly.
335
00:12:12,855 --> 00:12:14,926
I think they made it look
that way with ropes...
336
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,830
Shut up.
- ...or what have you.
337
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:17,765
Unbelievable.
338
00:12:17,865 --> 00:12:19,936
So we are clear on placement?
339
00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:23,510
Yes, yes. It should be in the
usual place between the legs.
340
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,714
Yes, and not
in a separate container
341
00:12:25,814 --> 00:12:28,219
such as a jar or a briefcase.
342
00:12:28,319 --> 00:12:29,889
And not on my chin.
343
00:12:31,091 --> 00:12:33,964
"Not on chin."
344
00:12:34,064 --> 00:12:35,534
Fine. So stipulated.
345
00:12:35,634 --> 00:12:37,470
Well, you know,
I'm used to the questions
346
00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:39,341
about the penis enlargement
347
00:12:39,441 --> 00:12:40,911
because people want
to get it right.
348
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:44,519
But, uh, I have to say,
I've never dealt with two people
349
00:12:44,619 --> 00:12:46,322
that are this detail-oriented.
350
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:48,492
As far as size goes,
351
00:12:48,594 --> 00:12:50,998
it should not be so big
that it crushes me.
352
00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:52,602
What about a mouse?
353
00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:54,606
For a penis? I don't think so,
354
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:55,975
Djinn, you little trickster.
355
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,645
No, no, I think he means
should the new member be
356
00:12:57,745 --> 00:12:59,649
big enough that it could
crush a mouse?
357
00:12:59,749 --> 00:13:01,385
That is actually what I meant.
358
00:13:01,485 --> 00:13:02,688
Hmm.
359
00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:05,326
A penis so big
it could crush a mouse...
360
00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:08,132
Yes, don't mind if I do. Okay.
361
00:13:08,232 --> 00:13:10,103
Well, I think we're all squared.
362
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:11,472
Wait up. One minute.
363
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,276
One second. My client...
364
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,081
What they are doing,
it's correct, but, um...
365
00:13:16,181 --> 00:13:18,452
it's annoying.
366
00:13:24,097 --> 00:13:25,534
Jazz. Ugh.
367
00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:28,941
Richie Suck, looking good.
368
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:32,447
- Welcome.
- Doctor Tom likes them better.
369
00:13:32,548 --> 00:13:33,850
Will you please go distract
370
00:13:33,951 --> 00:13:35,788
that stupid doctor familiar
for a minute?
371
00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:39,227
Excuse me? Jazz.
What is jazz?
372
00:13:39,328 --> 00:13:40,664
Richie, baby.
373
00:13:40,764 --> 00:13:42,735
Who is the vampire,
and who is the familiar?
374
00:13:42,835 --> 00:13:44,338
Doctor Tom says...
375
00:13:44,438 --> 00:13:46,676
Doctor Tom is a familiar.
It doesn't matter what he says.
376
00:13:46,776 --> 00:13:50,249
You have let a human man
transform you from a wild,
377
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:52,621
horny, rampaging artist
378
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:55,561
into a little pussy-bitch
who "collaborates"?
379
00:13:55,661 --> 00:13:58,332
What happened to
the visionary who wrote
380
00:13:58,432 --> 00:14:00,838
For My Corpsefuckers?
381
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:02,374
♪ My bloodsuckers ♪
382
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:05,981
♪ Drain a fourtop
at the Fuddruckers ♪
383
00:14:06,081 --> 00:14:07,752
♪ Bite necks and write checks ♪
384
00:14:07,852 --> 00:14:09,555
♪ Turn into a bat
and have flying sex ♪
385
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:12,127
♪ Don't call me Count Dracula,
I'll smack you, uh ♪
386
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,799
♪ I'm like a Crip disease,
I'll attack your blood. ♪
387
00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:17,270
Man. I really had bars
back in the day.
388
00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:18,472
Hey, uh...
389
00:14:18,573 --> 00:14:19,742
Everything okay over there?
390
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:21,311
Yes, everything is fine,
391
00:14:21,412 --> 00:14:22,515
doctor familiar boy.
392
00:14:22,615 --> 00:14:24,619
Richie, this is
your only chance.
393
00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:26,355
Speak your truth.
394
00:14:26,455 --> 00:14:28,225
Take back your life.
395
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:30,864
Now, show me those fangs.
396
00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:33,503
You got to wear them
with pride, baby.
397
00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:36,408
Eesh.
398
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,878
Okay, read that back, please.
399
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,181
"No substitution
400
00:14:39,281 --> 00:14:42,020
of whale or
other species penis..."
401
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,024
Yes.
"Party in possession of new penis...
402
00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:45,193
That's me.
403
00:14:45,293 --> 00:14:47,798
"...should be able
to comfortably perform
404
00:14:47,898 --> 00:14:49,267
"physical activities
405
00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:52,808
"such as walking, running,
skipping, crossing legs,
406
00:14:52,908 --> 00:14:53,944
- etcetera."
- Hmm.
407
00:14:54,044 --> 00:14:55,079
"Should not require
408
00:14:55,179 --> 00:14:56,583
purchase of new clothes."
409
00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,185
Now, are you sure
about that one?
410
00:14:58,285 --> 00:14:59,756
Why do you ask?
411
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:02,026
Ninety percent of my business
is penis enlargements.
412
00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:03,697
That much? Really?
- Oh, yeah.
413
00:15:03,797 --> 00:15:07,037
And most clients don't mind
buying new clothes
414
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:08,439
to feature the updated package.
415
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:09,942
Hmm.
416
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,581
Fine. Strike it out.
Very well.
417
00:15:12,681 --> 00:15:14,017
It has been struck.
418
00:15:14,117 --> 00:15:15,453
Darling?
419
00:15:15,554 --> 00:15:17,424
I'm not doing anything!
420
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,027
Just business stuff.
421
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,668
Okay, I hate to interrupt
your business,
422
00:15:22,768 --> 00:15:25,574
but I know you wish to see
Richie Suck at the club.
423
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,010
Yes.
Yes.
424
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,847
Almost done, my morning star. Okay.
425
00:15:28,947 --> 00:15:30,551
I see you soon.
Richie Suck,
426
00:15:30,651 --> 00:15:32,454
- the rap artist?
- Mm-hmm.
427
00:15:32,555 --> 00:15:35,259
Oh, my cousin granted his wish
to get five mics in The Source.
428
00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:36,896
Can we wrap this up, please?
Okay.
429
00:15:36,996 --> 00:15:38,967
You guys said you wanted
to circle back
430
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,971
to some concerns
about the balls?
431
00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:43,643
- Yes.
- Yes, let's talk balls.
432
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,248
Why are you sad, Lazzo?
433
00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:49,121
I'm not sad, my boy.
I'm just reflective.
434
00:15:49,221 --> 00:15:51,526
When I was your age,
I loved only two things:
435
00:15:51,626 --> 00:15:53,295
my nanny and my piano.
436
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,066
And my father took them both.
437
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,803
Then he sent me off
to boarding school
438
00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:58,507
- to give me polish.
- Okay.
439
00:15:58,607 --> 00:15:59,842
It wasn't such a waste of time.
440
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,211
I learned how to cheat at cards,
441
00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:02,915
hit the other fellow
before he hit me.
442
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:05,654
I also learned
not to trust my father
443
00:16:05,754 --> 00:16:07,625
or anyone else, for that matter.
444
00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:09,461
And that took centuries
with my Nadja
445
00:16:09,562 --> 00:16:10,964
- to unravel.
- Okay.
446
00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:15,774
What I'm trying to say is...
I think Gizmo was right.
447
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:18,980
I think you're going to be
incredibly boring.
448
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,588
The type of chap who goes to see
revival of Auntie Mame
449
00:16:22,688 --> 00:16:23,924
and writes about it
in his diary.
450
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,527
But I don't hold that
against you.
451
00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:27,163
You're a better man than I am.
452
00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,938
You were raised to be
charming, not sincere.
453
00:16:31,038 --> 00:16:32,608
Really? Well, that's nicely put.
454
00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:34,144
You're full of surprises.
455
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,415
That's from Into the Woods
by Stephen Sondheim.
456
00:16:36,516 --> 00:16:37,818
- Right.
- I was thinking about it
457
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:40,557
because I want to turn
my Ewok Village Lego set
458
00:16:40,657 --> 00:16:42,126
into the Giant's tree...
459
00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:44,231
Do you? Really?
Now, why don't we fuck that off
460
00:16:44,331 --> 00:16:46,569
- and go and see Richie Suck.
- Okay.
461
00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:50,309
Okay, balls in proportion...
462
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,247
Note the changes...
463
00:16:53,215 --> 00:16:55,821
Very well, Master, your wish...
464
00:16:55,921 --> 00:16:58,125
Wait. You can't give him
the world's largest penis
465
00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,862
by making everyone
else's smaller.
466
00:16:59,962 --> 00:17:03,068
Oh, very good catch, Guillermo.
467
00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:04,939
Shit.
468
00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:06,108
I mean, well done, familiar.
469
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,179
I was moments away from giving
470
00:17:08,279 --> 00:17:11,786
every man in the world
but Nandor a micro wang.
471
00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,690
Why would you do
such a thing?
472
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,126
It's just part
of the job, I guess.
473
00:17:15,226 --> 00:17:18,900
I teach lessons about
greed, desires, etcetera,
474
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,806
by fucking with the wishes
of my so-called masters.
475
00:17:21,906 --> 00:17:23,944
But you two have bested me.
476
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,383
Your familiar has a very shrewd
and incisive mind
477
00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:30,022
- when it comes to the penis stuff.
- Thank you.
478
00:17:30,122 --> 00:17:32,561
Or you could've just said
"thank you" to me.
479
00:17:32,661 --> 00:17:34,264
Always so needy.
480
00:17:34,364 --> 00:17:37,303
Thank you, Guillermo,
I appreciate all your help.
481
00:17:37,403 --> 00:17:40,309
And every time
I use my new big dick,
482
00:17:40,409 --> 00:17:42,848
I will think of you
and all you've done for me.
483
00:17:42,948 --> 00:17:44,184
Ah, this is your wish?
484
00:17:44,284 --> 00:17:46,556
- This is my wish.
- This is his wish.
485
00:17:46,656 --> 00:17:48,727
Wish granted!
486
00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:52,735
Excuse me for a moment.
487
00:17:52,835 --> 00:17:53,837
Yes.
Yeah, go ahead.
488
00:17:53,937 --> 00:17:56,676
Would you care for some Yoo-hoo?
489
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,811
No, thank you.
490
00:17:59,882 --> 00:18:01,151
Oh, wow.
491
00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:02,922
That'll do, pig.
492
00:18:03,022 --> 00:18:05,326
Guillermo, come check out
the size of this unit.
493
00:18:05,426 --> 00:18:06,863
I'm good.
494
00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:09,401
It's only about 20 percent
bigger than what you had.
495
00:18:09,502 --> 00:18:11,071
I'll be damned.
496
00:18:11,171 --> 00:18:13,108
I was surprised
you wanted more, but, uh...
497
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:15,379
Yeah, it turned out beautifully
if I do say so myself.
498
00:18:15,479 --> 00:18:17,383
Guillermo, are you sure
you don't want a little peek?
499
00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:19,822
No, I have to get down
to the club.
500
00:18:19,922 --> 00:18:21,893
Oh, okay. Please tell Marwa
501
00:18:21,993 --> 00:18:24,397
that I wish to see her
in the bedroom.
502
00:18:24,497 --> 00:18:25,433
Okay.
503
00:18:25,534 --> 00:18:27,538
- Great work.
- Thanks.
504
00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:29,040
- Yes.
- Yeah.
505
00:18:36,054 --> 00:18:38,392
Hey! Where's Richie?
506
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:46,308
Richie Suck. Richie Suck.
507
00:18:46,408 --> 00:18:47,511
Richie Suck.
508
00:18:47,611 --> 00:18:50,082
- Richie Suck. Richie Suck.
- All right. Hi.
509
00:18:50,182 --> 00:18:51,719
- Sorry, guys.
- Richie Suck.
510
00:18:51,819 --> 00:18:53,222
- All right, hold it down.
- Richie Suck.
511
00:18:53,322 --> 00:18:55,426
Be patient. You look beau...
You don't know jazz
512
00:18:55,527 --> 00:18:57,230
- if you haven't heard it yet, right?
- Richie Suck.
513
00:18:57,330 --> 00:19:01,138
Hey, how's the, uh...
how's the home?
514
00:19:01,238 --> 00:19:02,340
Fine.
515
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,843
It's perfectly normal.
516
00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:05,647
Happens to every guys.
517
00:19:05,747 --> 00:19:07,417
- Can you sh...?
- We are still getting reacquainted.
518
00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:08,787
Don't say it here.
519
00:19:08,887 --> 00:19:10,289
- Is everything okay?
- No.
520
00:19:10,389 --> 00:19:12,026
The djinn tricked me
into saying that every time
521
00:19:12,126 --> 00:19:14,397
I used my new big dick,
I will think of you.
522
00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:16,435
- Richie Suck. Richie Suck.
- He got us.
523
00:19:16,536 --> 00:19:17,671
He did.
524
00:19:17,771 --> 00:19:20,644
- Eesh.
- All right. It's not eesh.
525
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,313
How is everybody doing tonight?
526
00:19:24,451 --> 00:19:26,054
Is everybody ready
to have a good time,
527
00:19:26,154 --> 00:19:27,323
maybe slightly unpredictable
528
00:19:27,423 --> 00:19:29,160
because it's live,
but still good?
529
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,872
Well, then, let's welcome
a true artist
530
00:19:34,972 --> 00:19:37,110
who doesn't give two wet shits
what you think.
531
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,515
Let's get loud for Richie Suck!
532
00:19:42,387 --> 00:19:44,558
Remember, be yourself.
Free yourself.
533
00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,529
♪ Wild in here right now ♪
534
00:19:46,629 --> 00:19:49,735
♪ Yeah, we go wild
in here right now ♪
535
00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:52,306
♪ Yeah, we go wild
in here right now ♪
536
00:19:52,407 --> 00:19:55,514
♪ Yeah, we've gone wild
in here right now ♪
537
00:19:58,318 --> 00:19:59,722
Thank you all for coming out.
538
00:19:59,822 --> 00:20:03,429
I've been away for a while,
and it's been a journey.
539
00:20:03,530 --> 00:20:06,669
Uh, so before I start the show,
I want to bring out a man
540
00:20:06,769 --> 00:20:08,673
who's been a really
important part of that.
541
00:20:08,773 --> 00:20:11,713
My familiar, Dr. Tom Schmidt.
542
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:14,217
Familiars!
543
00:20:14,317 --> 00:20:15,821
Thank you, Richie.
First of all...
544
00:20:15,921 --> 00:20:17,958
So me and Tom decided that
I need to be more authentic,
545
00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:20,162
so we collaborated
on a bunch of new songs
546
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,803
for me to do with
the Jazzmen 3 over here.
547
00:20:25,339 --> 00:20:26,876
But guess what?
548
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,580
I'm not going to do them!
549
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,552
The right decision.
550
00:20:31,652 --> 00:20:33,389
- Master, listen.
- No, man.
551
00:20:33,489 --> 00:20:35,827
I'm done listening to you.
Forever!
552
00:20:35,927 --> 00:20:37,296
No, Master, no! Ahh!
553
00:20:37,397 --> 00:20:38,900
Eat that bitch.
554
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,302
Eat that bitch.
555
00:20:40,403 --> 00:20:43,743
Eat bitch. Eat that bitch.
Eat that bitch.
556
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:44,845
Eat the bitch!
557
00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:46,281
Now, now, now,
558
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:48,252
how many of you want
to hear me do my thing?
559
00:20:48,352 --> 00:20:50,924
Who want to hear me do
my truth?
560
00:20:51,024 --> 00:20:52,360
Yes, please, Richie.
561
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,464
Who wants to hear
some new shit from Richie Suck
562
00:20:54,565 --> 00:20:56,234
that they ain't
never heard before?
563
00:20:56,334 --> 00:20:59,107
Go, Richie!
564
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:01,646
Who wants to hear me do
some observational comedy?
565
00:21:01,746 --> 00:21:03,983
What the fuck?
566
00:21:05,554 --> 00:21:08,258
Like, have you ever been
flying around as a bat...
567
00:21:08,358 --> 00:21:10,129
...and you get
hit by a drone
568
00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:13,570
and you be like, "Damn,
the robots coming for us?"
569
00:21:15,406 --> 00:21:17,578
Hey, do Throat Juice.
570
00:21:17,678 --> 00:21:19,080
You know what...
what is really cool
571
00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:20,382
about being a vampire, though?
572
00:21:20,483 --> 00:21:22,086
You ain't never
got to do no dishes.
573
00:21:22,186 --> 00:21:23,422
Bring back the jazz.
574
00:21:23,523 --> 00:21:25,226
Never, no dishes.
It's all skin and bone.
575
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,863
You know?
576
00:21:26,963 --> 00:21:28,065
But seriously, though, grandmamas
577
00:21:28,165 --> 00:21:29,635
be saying some stupid shit.
578
00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:32,473
Oh, Richie Suck, courageously
working without a net.
579
00:21:32,574 --> 00:21:34,344
Don't throw shit
at my wife, you fuck.
580
00:21:34,444 --> 00:21:37,450
It makes the live experience
more irreplaceable and fun...
581
00:21:37,551 --> 00:21:39,487
Hey! Show's over.
582
00:21:41,124 --> 00:21:43,061
Hey, what the...
Get the fuck off me.
583
00:21:43,162 --> 00:21:44,364
Out of my way.
Laszlo!
584
00:21:44,464 --> 00:21:45,867
Hang on!
I've-I've lost the boy.
585
00:21:45,967 --> 00:21:47,203
Laszlo, get your...
586
00:21:47,303 --> 00:21:48,506
get out your hands
and help your wife.
587
00:21:48,606 --> 00:21:50,476
I'm trying.
This men are too horny.
588
00:21:50,577 --> 00:21:52,681
♪ If you want to ring the bell
not once but twice ♪
589
00:21:52,781 --> 00:21:54,350
- What the f... What?
- Huh?
590
00:21:54,451 --> 00:21:57,858
♪ If you want to roll and
roll those lucky dice ♪
591
00:21:57,958 --> 00:22:00,429
♪ If you want to spend
your journey's end ♪
592
00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,901
♪ With sweet music and love ♪
593
00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:06,809
♪ If you want to rid this world
of men and Mickey Mice ♪
594
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,147
♪ Take my advice... ♪
595
00:22:09,247 --> 00:22:11,686
From the 1936 movie musical,
Born to Dance.
596
00:22:12,521 --> 00:22:14,859
- ♪ When you sit down, one day ♪
- Don't fuck it up, boy.
597
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,729
♪ Look over yourself and say ♪
598
00:22:16,829 --> 00:22:18,031
♪ "You're very good" ♪
599
00:22:18,131 --> 00:22:19,434
He can really move.
600
00:22:19,535 --> 00:22:21,772
♪ Rap tap on wood ♪
601
00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:23,075
Score by Cole Porter,
602
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,979
sung by the late,
great Eleanor Powell.
603
00:22:25,079 --> 00:22:27,918
It's so disgusting, I love it.
604
00:22:28,018 --> 00:22:28,953
Vampires have
605
00:22:29,053 --> 00:22:30,957
always loved child novelty acts.
606
00:22:31,057 --> 00:22:32,426
I mean, who knows why.
607
00:22:32,528 --> 00:22:34,732
Some say they are
transfixed by the youth
608
00:22:34,832 --> 00:22:37,905
and innocence they
themselves lost long ago.
609
00:22:38,005 --> 00:22:40,242
Others just love how creepy
610
00:22:40,342 --> 00:22:42,013
and exploitative it is.
611
00:22:42,113 --> 00:22:43,650
But I don't care, anyway,
612
00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:46,321
because the most important thing
is that Baby Colin Robinson
613
00:22:46,421 --> 00:22:48,358
is going to keep
my club in business.
614
00:22:48,458 --> 00:22:50,897
I was worried
the kid was a dud.
615
00:22:50,997 --> 00:22:53,402
Turns out he's got the groove.
616
00:22:53,503 --> 00:22:54,839
♪ Rap tap on wood. ♪
617
00:22:54,939 --> 00:22:57,143
Fantastic.
618
00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:59,615
Bravo, Baby Colin Robinson.
619
00:22:59,715 --> 00:23:02,521
Any more kids,
welcome to Nadja's.
620
00:23:02,621 --> 00:23:06,361
♪ Mystical magical
musical madness ♪
621
00:23:06,461 --> 00:23:10,604
♪ Take it and make it
a part of your day ♪
622
00:23:10,704 --> 00:23:15,246
♪ Musical themes
of wishes and dreams ♪
623
00:23:15,346 --> 00:23:20,657
♪ Love songs anew
just written for you ♪
624
00:23:20,757 --> 00:23:24,698
♪ Mystical magical
musical madness ♪
625
00:23:24,798 --> 00:23:28,907
♪ Filled with the sounds
that wipe sadness away ♪
626
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:33,516
♪ We bring a happy
message of love ♪
627
00:23:33,616 --> 00:23:37,490
♪ Keep it
and take it home with ♪
628
00:23:37,591 --> 00:23:42,300
♪ We bring a happy
message of love ♪
629
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,974
♪ Keep it and take it home ♪
630
00:23:46,074 --> 00:23:49,582
♪ With you. ♪
631
00:23:49,682 --> 00:23:52,153
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
46114
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