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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,155 ♪Subtitles translated by♪ XQ2☻♥ 2 00:01:45,411 --> 00:01:48,581 In the beginning you don't know it's the beginning; 3 00:01:48,615 --> 00:01:50,499 that things are just starting. 4 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,044 Then all of a sudden they're off. 5 00:01:59,550 --> 00:02:02,428 Things become altogether different than you thought. 6 00:02:02,594 --> 00:02:05,014 At first there were only twelve apostles. 7 00:02:05,139 --> 00:02:11,270 That was before I found my six apostles. Before the world got better. 8 00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:21,572 I should tell you the story from the beginning, when I still lived with my parents. 9 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:26,785 THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT 10 00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:31,707 God exists. He lives in Brussels. 11 00:02:42,968 --> 00:02:47,138 He's an asshole. He's horrible to his wife and daughter. 12 00:02:47,263 --> 00:02:51,434 There's a lot of talk about his son, but very little about his daughter. 13 00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:54,270 His daughter is me. 14 00:02:58,774 --> 00:03:02,820 That is my father. He's God. 15 00:03:05,365 --> 00:03:10,285 Even before the creation of the world my father was already bored. 16 00:03:10,411 --> 00:03:13,205 So, he made Brussels. 17 00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:18,503 [GENESIS] Oh, yeah.☻ 18 00:03:19,128 --> 00:03:23,257 He'd made a few things; a few other creations, 19 00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,926 but they didn't work out. 20 00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:02,921 Something's not right. 21 00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:06,299 So, he created man in his image. 22 00:04:08,301 --> 00:04:11,846 With him, he could do as he pleased. 23 00:04:31,282 --> 00:04:33,992 Ah, much better! Much better. 24 00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:56,949 Enoch begat Irad. Irad begat Mehujael. 25 00:05:57,074 --> 00:06:01,120 Mehujael begat Metuskael Metuskael begat Lamech. 26 00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:03,080 Et cetera, et cetera... 27 00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,082 That's when it all started. 28 00:06:08,627 --> 00:06:11,755 He set one against the other. In his name. 29 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,215 For God! 30 00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:24,100 For Allah! 31 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:28,564 For Baal! 32 00:06:43,829 --> 00:06:48,083 Voila, now you know exactly how it came about. 33 00:06:50,418 --> 00:06:54,130 That's me. I'm called Ea. 34 00:06:57,175 --> 00:07:02,222 This is where I was born, and where I was stuck for ten years. 35 00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:05,933 It has no entrance and no exit. 36 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:10,145 Three room apartment, fully equipped kitchen and laundry. 37 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:15,442 And my father's office, where no one is allowed. 38 00:07:16,861 --> 00:07:21,031 It's forbidden to watch anything but sports on TV. 39 00:07:21,156 --> 00:07:26,495 This is my mother, a pitiful woman, 100% certified soft-in-the-head. 40 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,372 She never says anything. 41 00:07:28,497 --> 00:07:32,868 When she's not embroidering flowers, she looks at her baseball card collection. 42 00:07:32,915 --> 00:07:35,462 ...and that makes eighteen. 43 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:36,964 It's complete. 44 00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:56,149 Ea, we eat at the table and as a family. 45 00:07:56,274 --> 00:07:59,402 Do as you're told! You're in MY house, here! 46 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,532 HEY! 47 00:08:03,948 --> 00:08:06,450 What? I'm your father. 48 00:08:07,811 --> 00:08:11,489 Put that fourth plate away, it won't bring him back. 49 00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,917 You never know. 50 00:08:13,962 --> 00:08:15,827 Not at my right hand. 51 00:08:15,844 --> 00:08:17,929 I told you before, it bugs me. 52 00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:40,276 Stop that. 53 00:08:40,401 --> 00:08:43,904 Stop! Think you're your brother? 54 00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:45,656 Just because you can't do it... 55 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:50,435 Because I don't need to be able to. 56 00:08:56,917 --> 00:09:00,963 My father lived in a crappy place, which he never left. 57 00:09:01,004 --> 00:09:04,808 He had a crappy life, had never loved his wife 58 00:09:04,813 --> 00:09:07,928 and couldn't make things with his hands. 59 00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:11,931 SILENCE! I'm working! 60 00:09:33,786 --> 00:09:38,124 He needed something to relax and forget all that. 61 00:09:38,249 --> 00:09:41,293 That's when he got the idea of humanity: 62 00:09:41,418 --> 00:09:45,923 All his toys, that he could watch suffer and struggle. 63 00:09:59,353 --> 00:10:04,191 A lot of misery and a little happiness, to give them false hope. 64 00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:08,612 It took him 8 years, but after all, it worked pretty well. 65 00:10:11,907 --> 00:10:15,911 My father attained a certain degree of virtuosity. 66 00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:19,080 Since then, he spent his days 67 00:10:19,197 --> 00:10:22,859 inventing new Laws of Universal Pain-in-the-assness. 68 00:10:22,884 --> 00:10:24,770 I need to formulate this right. 69 00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:28,840 Law 2127: The quantity of sleep, needed, 70 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:31,259 is always ten more minutes. 71 00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:35,305 Law 2129: 72 00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:39,267 When a body is submerged in a bathtub 73 00:10:39,392 --> 00:10:42,228 the telephone rings. 74 00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:46,691 2125: 75 00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:50,586 A slice of bread always falls jam side down, 76 00:10:50,611 --> 00:10:54,624 otherwise the jam is on the wrong side. 77 00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:59,512 Law 2126: dishes never break 78 00:10:59,537 --> 00:11:02,097 until after they've been washed. 79 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:07,503 Law 2218: 80 00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:11,999 The next line always moves faster. 81 00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:15,970 Law 2231: 82 00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:20,257 pains in the ass never come one at a time. 83 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,742 Why are you looking at me like that? Lower your eyes. 84 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,404 It's disgusting what you do to people. 85 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,407 What? 86 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:07,120 You don't even know them, you just amuse yourself by harming them. 87 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,915 - You've been in my office? - Anybody could do better. 88 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,735 I've forbidden you to go in my office. 89 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,971 - You got nothing to say to me. - C'mere! 90 00:13:33,004 --> 00:13:37,216 See what you made me do! 91 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,280 Look at the state I'm in, huh? 92 00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:46,108 That's no good! 93 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,963 Just at that moment I decided to do something. 94 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:09,615 Maybe ten years, is the limit of what one can put up with, I dunno. 95 00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:13,352 Anyway, I knew exactly what I wanted: 96 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,522 to do better than my father. 97 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:20,316 But first I wanted to hurt him. 98 00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:25,647 I wanted to make him suffer. To wreck his life like he wrecked mine. 99 00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:29,659 You could call it, anger. 100 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,914 But once I'd done it... 101 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,627 I'd have to leave. 102 00:14:39,752 --> 00:14:43,589 EXODUS 103 00:15:01,391 --> 00:15:04,234 Psst! Hey, J.C. 104 00:15:10,282 --> 00:15:14,679 - Hi, sis. - Hey, J.C. I need your help getting outta here. 105 00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:19,291 - I hear you. What did mama say? - Nothing for fear of getting smacked. 106 00:15:19,316 --> 00:15:21,001 It's about time she woke up. 107 00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:25,564 I wanna do like you; split this joint. Find some Apostles to give me a hand. 108 00:15:25,589 --> 00:15:29,776 Apostles are a good idea, I tried 12, but it got a bit messy. 109 00:15:29,801 --> 00:15:32,687 I thought 12 was a good number, like a hockey team. 110 00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:36,098 Mama's number is 18. She says you can play baseball with 18. 111 00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,785 How many apostles should I get? 112 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:43,332 Try six. With my 12, it makes 18, like mama's baseball players. 113 00:15:43,357 --> 00:15:45,542 How should I choose the apostles? 114 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:48,807 Go with your feeling. You don't have to justify it. 115 00:15:48,862 --> 00:15:52,666 Choose any six from papa's archive, give'em a little miracle, and you're set. 116 00:15:52,691 --> 00:15:54,509 I can't make real miracles. 117 00:15:54,564 --> 00:15:57,887 Just a small miracle, something you can handle. 118 00:15:57,912 --> 00:16:01,224 Then with your 6 apostles, write a Brand New Testament. 119 00:16:01,289 --> 00:16:05,369 - I don't want'em talking about me. - Make it about them. 120 00:16:05,394 --> 00:16:08,982 A Brand New Testament in which the apostles talk about themselves. 121 00:16:09,007 --> 00:16:13,361 - That'd be so totally new! - You know, I can't write well. 122 00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:16,948 Delegate to someone who can. You think I wrote mine by myself? 123 00:16:16,973 --> 00:16:20,073 To escape, I hacked the washing machine. 124 00:16:20,118 --> 00:16:22,096 Set it on 'synthetic fibers' 125 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,238 40 degrees, 1,200 rpm spin cycle. 126 00:16:24,263 --> 00:16:26,999 It'll open a passage. In a few hours you're out. 127 00:16:27,024 --> 00:16:28,984 Thanks, J.C. you're cool. 128 00:16:29,009 --> 00:16:33,213 Don't forget, without his computer papa's nothing. 129 00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:14,404 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) 130 00:17:32,129 --> 00:17:33,522 {\an8}Births / Deaths 131 00:17:33,831 --> 00:17:37,727 LAWS DISASTERS MEN / WOMEN . >>do not open 132 00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:41,330 Death Dates >>DO NOT OPEN<< 133 00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:45,935 {\an8}Births ........... Deaths 134 00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:52,524 Send death dates? 135 00:18:20,719 --> 00:18:24,640 Benoit, you have 14 years, 6 months, 4 days to live. 136 00:18:35,116 --> 00:18:37,393 Robert, you have 0 days to live. 137 00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,957 Willy, you have 54 days to live. 138 00:18:57,212 --> 00:19:02,843 Jean-Claude, you have 12 years, 9 months, 5 days to live. 139 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:16,356 Aurélie, you have 11 years, 6 months, 27 days to live. 140 00:19:31,163 --> 00:19:35,375 Marc, you have 83 days to live. 141 00:19:39,963 --> 00:19:44,175 Francois, you have 25 years, 3 months, 8 days to live. 142 00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:01,067 Martine, you have 5 years, 2 months, 17 days to live. 143 00:20:33,181 --> 00:20:35,693 - Psst! Hey, J.C... - You got the files? 144 00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:38,460 Yeah, I sent everybody their death date. 145 00:20:38,486 --> 00:20:40,689 Papa's gonna lose all credibility. 146 00:20:40,814 --> 00:20:44,026 He'll be hopping mad. Super idea! 147 00:20:46,153 --> 00:20:51,224 Giving men knowledge of their own death... 148 00:20:51,299 --> 00:20:53,468 Crazy! 149 00:21:26,734 --> 00:21:29,879 It's still impossible to say if it's a hoax 150 00:21:29,904 --> 00:21:32,735 or if these death dates will prove correct. 151 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,492 Who could know when people die? 152 00:21:35,617 --> 00:21:38,370 It's impossible. I don't believe it. 153 00:21:38,495 --> 00:21:40,622 And yet there are troubling coincidences. 154 00:21:40,747 --> 00:21:43,417 For example a fridge fell from a cargo plane 155 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:47,296 at the precise moment of the victim's predicted demise. 156 00:21:49,965 --> 00:21:52,718 Andrée, you have 2 minutes to live. 157 00:22:07,449 --> 00:22:10,023 It's a special day for this janitorial technician. 158 00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:13,263 Overnight he's become the longest lived man in the world. 159 00:22:15,031 --> 00:22:18,576 102 years to live! It's a record! 160 00:22:18,652 --> 00:22:21,181 From the social networks we have this. 161 00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:24,585 Hi, I'm Kevin. 62 years to live. 62! 162 00:22:24,649 --> 00:22:26,387 Test! 163 00:22:31,172 --> 00:22:33,967 - Shit! - Darling... darling! 164 00:22:34,002 --> 00:22:36,769 Even if cellular regeneration is programmed, 165 00:22:36,794 --> 00:22:41,182 length of life depends on unforeseeable factors. It's random. 166 00:22:41,207 --> 00:22:43,768 It's impossible for it to be predetermined. 167 00:22:43,793 --> 00:22:46,229 12 years, 4 months. 168 00:22:47,062 --> 00:22:48,773 And you? 169 00:22:48,898 --> 00:22:50,941 64 days. 170 00:22:51,066 --> 00:22:52,777 It's not fair! 171 00:22:52,902 --> 00:22:57,097 I've been taking care of you for years, and you'll live longer than me. 172 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,712 Ea. 173 00:23:18,252 --> 00:23:22,014 Since this morning's announcements many people did not show up to work. 174 00:23:22,039 --> 00:23:24,159 "What'll we do with the rest of our lives?" 175 00:23:24,211 --> 00:23:26,361 is the most frequently asked question on social networks. 176 00:23:26,376 --> 00:23:28,353 How has this changed you? 177 00:23:28,478 --> 00:23:32,982 It won't change anything. I'll continue as before. 178 00:23:38,888 --> 00:23:41,432 Rosalie: 10 months, 12 days to live. 179 00:23:41,433 --> 00:23:46,204 {\an4}Georges: 16 years, 11 months, 21 days. 180 00:24:18,694 --> 00:24:20,238 Mama! 181 00:24:36,837 --> 00:24:40,683 We're back in the studio for a news update. 182 00:24:40,728 --> 00:24:43,889 Fighting has stopped in most war zones, 183 00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:46,229 in the wake of 'Deathleak'; . 184 00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:49,917 the disclosure by an unidenitied source, of our dates of death. 185 00:24:51,852 --> 00:24:54,421 Goddamn! What is this? 186 00:24:54,439 --> 00:24:56,434 On the social networks we have this: 187 00:24:56,441 --> 00:25:00,735 I'm Bart. I still have 12 years to live 188 00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:05,938 and I'd like to make the Titanic out of matchsticks. 189 00:25:06,491 --> 00:25:09,244 Shit, goddamn, fuck, shit! 190 00:25:09,369 --> 00:25:11,621 Henri, 6 years to live. 191 00:25:11,746 --> 00:25:14,949 What I want, is to learn to play the helicon*. (sousaphone) 192 00:25:20,212 --> 00:25:25,802 Goddamn, Goddamn, shit! What the hell?! 193 00:25:57,333 --> 00:26:00,752 Goddamn, Goddamn, shit! What's this? 194 00:26:08,143 --> 00:26:10,662 EAAA!! 195 00:26:10,679 --> 00:26:16,142 Ea, reboot my computer and fix what you screwed up! 196 00:26:17,185 --> 00:26:18,895 Open up! 197 00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:47,698 Ea! 198 00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:51,702 Come back! Papa's not angry. 199 00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:55,606 EAAA!! 200 00:28:38,657 --> 00:28:40,868 It's the fish-burgers. 201 00:28:43,328 --> 00:28:45,080 - What? - The fish-burgers. 202 00:28:45,205 --> 00:28:48,500 They're made from bits of stranded whales. 203 00:28:48,625 --> 00:28:54,006 When a whale gets stranded somewhere, they don't throw it out, they sell it. 204 00:28:54,131 --> 00:28:56,549 And make fish-burgers out of it. 205 00:28:56,674 --> 00:28:59,261 Do you know how to write? 206 00:28:59,386 --> 00:29:02,555 - A bit. - Then, you will write. 207 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,099 Can you take me to this address? 208 00:29:05,225 --> 00:29:07,644 I have no time. No time 209 00:29:07,769 --> 00:29:10,187 Why are you following me? 210 00:29:11,356 --> 00:29:14,233 Leave me alone. Scram! 211 00:29:14,358 --> 00:29:16,694 Anyway, I'm dyslexic. 212 00:29:17,529 --> 00:29:20,698 I don't write well, I can't even read my own handwriting. 213 00:29:20,823 --> 00:29:24,836 Then learn to write. You wanna end up a bum, like me? 214 00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:28,285 What do you want me to write? 215 00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:31,876 - The Brand New Testament. - What for? 216 00:29:33,544 --> 00:29:36,672 - Can you turn water into wine? - No. 217 00:29:37,631 --> 00:29:40,259 - Can you walk on water? - No. 218 00:29:40,384 --> 00:29:42,386 Then you won't get far. 219 00:29:46,557 --> 00:29:48,309 He was called Victor. 220 00:29:48,475 --> 00:29:53,146 His sweat smelled of salt, garlic and lemon. 221 00:29:53,272 --> 00:29:55,607 He had skin like an old serpent 222 00:29:55,632 --> 00:30:00,462 waiting for a glass of blood at the counter, in a deserted bar. 223 00:30:00,529 --> 00:30:04,157 Just the type I'd have liked as father. 224 00:30:08,244 --> 00:30:09,830 What's that? 225 00:30:09,955 --> 00:30:12,708 An incinerator. 226 00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:16,044 It's beautiful. There should be more. 227 00:30:16,169 --> 00:30:20,465 - I never imagined paradise like this. - Paradise? 228 00:30:20,590 --> 00:30:22,258 Yeah, around here. 229 00:30:22,308 --> 00:30:26,596 If this is paradise, it's so fucked up, I could've made it myself. 230 00:30:26,721 --> 00:30:31,059 - Paradise is after death. - No, there's nothing after death. 231 00:30:31,184 --> 00:30:36,021 Paradise is here. Adam was here and my brother came here too. 232 00:30:36,147 --> 00:30:39,775 - But he got himself killed. - You don't say! 233 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:43,404 - What's your brother called? - J.C. 234 00:30:43,529 --> 00:30:47,041 J.C.? Like J.C. Van Damme? 235 00:30:47,867 --> 00:30:50,285 - Who? - Jean-Claude Van Damme. 236 00:30:50,411 --> 00:30:53,163 Dragon Eyes, Double Impact... 237 00:30:53,288 --> 00:30:55,541 Didn't you see Double Impact? 238 00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:58,335 Universal Soldier? 239 00:30:58,502 --> 00:31:02,547 You haven't seen anything. You're an odd girl. 240 00:31:06,501 --> 00:31:09,972 - As if I had nothing better to do! - Are you leaving? 241 00:31:10,097 --> 00:31:14,184 Yes, I'll find her. I tell you that little psycho will suffer. 242 00:31:14,309 --> 00:31:18,813 You've never been down there. It's dangerous. 243 00:31:20,149 --> 00:31:22,567 You know what your daughter did? 244 00:31:22,617 --> 00:31:25,879 She fired off the death dates! 245 00:31:25,904 --> 00:31:31,117 How can I fix this, without the use of my computer? 246 00:31:31,701 --> 00:31:34,729 Do you get it? Before... 247 00:31:34,754 --> 00:31:39,033 I had people by the balls, 'cause they didn't know when they'd die. 248 00:31:39,042 --> 00:31:41,661 I had'em beat; walking on eggs Understand? 249 00:31:41,686 --> 00:31:45,464 But now, they know. They won't be shat on, anymore. 250 00:31:45,590 --> 00:31:49,368 They can decide what to do with the rest of their lives. 251 00:31:49,393 --> 00:31:50,569 Understand? Oh? 252 00:31:51,595 --> 00:31:54,607 What if, like her brother, she falls in with some fanatics? 253 00:31:54,632 --> 00:31:57,743 And does tricks with glasses of milk, yada, yada... 254 00:31:57,768 --> 00:32:01,022 Do you realize the consequenses? 255 00:32:01,147 --> 00:32:05,234 Imagine if she shows them how to get themselves out of shit. 256 00:32:05,251 --> 00:32:07,236 I, um... I... I... 257 00:32:11,449 --> 00:32:15,378 No, huh? You don't get it. 258 00:32:15,403 --> 00:32:17,229 You don't understand anything. 259 00:32:17,234 --> 00:32:19,432 You say nothing, because you understand nothing. 260 00:32:19,448 --> 00:32:22,585 Why do you understand nothing? Because you don't think at all! 261 00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:26,288 You think of nothing but embroidery and baseball players! 262 00:32:26,313 --> 00:32:28,591 I detest baseball! 263 00:32:34,512 --> 00:32:39,017 Goddamit, Goddamit, Goddamit, shit. 264 00:32:41,653 --> 00:32:43,213 I'm going. 265 00:32:43,856 --> 00:32:45,815 Help me! 266 00:33:05,835 --> 00:33:07,545 Here. 267 00:33:08,421 --> 00:33:10,022 Hello. 268 00:33:10,072 --> 00:33:13,976 Hello, I'm here about your arm and the metro. 269 00:33:13,978 --> 00:33:17,263 THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO AURELIE 270 00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:20,767 The first apostle was called Aurélie. 271 00:33:20,892 --> 00:33:23,978 When she learned how much time she had left to live 272 00:33:24,103 --> 00:33:28,440 she decided to change nothing but to continue as before. 273 00:33:28,565 --> 00:33:32,987 Aurélie is a super nice girl. Oddly, she lives alone. 274 00:33:33,112 --> 00:33:37,866 Aurélie is a babe, a fox, a bombshell, a great piece 275 00:33:37,992 --> 00:33:40,411 the doormat of the whole building. 276 00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:44,623 Her mother was Dutch, her father, no one knows. 277 00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:50,546 Perhaps a Lapplander, given her porcelain complexion and dark hair. 278 00:33:50,671 --> 00:33:55,342 Anyway the combination turned out really well. 279 00:33:55,467 --> 00:34:00,431 But, porcelain complexion and dark hair don't suffice to make a babe. 280 00:34:00,556 --> 00:34:06,687 You also need a laugh like pearls scattered on a marble staircase. 281 00:34:13,318 --> 00:34:17,613 Seven men in her building are sincerely in love with Aurélie. 282 00:34:17,780 --> 00:34:20,783 Two of them are over 84 years old. 283 00:34:20,909 --> 00:34:24,162 another is under eleven. 284 00:34:24,287 --> 00:34:28,749 218 men just want to bang her. 285 00:34:32,002 --> 00:34:37,592 And for almost all the women, she's just a slutty cock-tease. 286 00:34:44,932 --> 00:34:47,477 Yet, Aurélie lives alone, 287 00:34:47,602 --> 00:34:50,312 and her heart, her melting-butter heart, 288 00:34:50,437 --> 00:34:53,816 is as sad as a little heap of cinders. 289 00:34:53,941 --> 00:34:58,738 When I was seven, my arm was ripped off by a subway car. 290 00:34:58,863 --> 00:35:03,033 Don't ask how such a thing is possible. 291 00:35:03,158 --> 00:35:07,371 It was just, me here, and my arm over there. 292 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:12,209 In its place, now, there's 600 grams silicone. 293 00:35:30,059 --> 00:35:31,853 Who are you? 294 00:35:31,978 --> 00:35:33,522 My father is God. 295 00:35:33,647 --> 00:35:35,649 I ran away from his house. 296 00:35:35,774 --> 00:35:39,986 I gotta find six apostles. You're the first. 297 00:35:40,111 --> 00:35:42,196 And him? 298 00:35:42,321 --> 00:35:45,491 That's Victor. He'll be writing the Brand New Testament. 299 00:35:45,616 --> 00:35:48,127 You need to talk about yourself. 300 00:35:48,152 --> 00:35:50,621 Myself? ... I dunno... 301 00:35:54,542 --> 00:35:58,379 One day I was alone 302 00:35:58,504 --> 00:36:00,923 and a guy came up to me. 303 00:36:00,990 --> 00:36:04,793 the type of guy who sleeps on bits of cardboard. 304 00:36:04,802 --> 00:36:09,432 His eyes were two red balls, lost in a heap of flesh. 305 00:36:09,557 --> 00:36:15,604 He reeked of alcohol, rotting flesh, perspiration and urine. 306 00:36:15,729 --> 00:36:19,567 Like a dead camel in a distillery. 307 00:36:20,526 --> 00:36:23,904 As he approached, I thought 308 00:36:24,029 --> 00:36:26,782 he'd ask for money, or pull out a knife 309 00:36:26,907 --> 00:36:30,869 or show me his cock, as sometimes happens. 310 00:36:30,994 --> 00:36:34,122 But none of that happened. 311 00:36:34,247 --> 00:36:37,084 He just came near. 312 00:36:37,209 --> 00:36:42,130 I could see he wanted to tell me something. 313 00:36:42,255 --> 00:36:46,301 My eyes stung a bit from the odor. 314 00:36:46,426 --> 00:36:50,472 But I smiled at him. It's a reflex. 315 00:36:50,597 --> 00:36:52,932 Then he spoke. 316 00:36:53,691 --> 00:36:58,636 In his voice there were, like, thirty people cracking nuts. 317 00:37:01,358 --> 00:37:04,193 He said: 318 00:37:04,318 --> 00:37:06,529 Girly... 319 00:37:06,654 --> 00:37:09,657 Life is like a skating rink. 320 00:37:09,824 --> 00:37:12,443 a lot of people fall. 321 00:37:15,454 --> 00:37:18,040 A lot of people fall. 322 00:37:18,941 --> 00:37:24,663 How do you write 'skating rink'? Two t's or two n's? 323 00:37:25,006 --> 00:37:30,427 His two-bit philosophical phrase stuck in my head. 324 00:37:32,013 --> 00:37:37,559 Often, in the morning, when I look in the mirror... 325 00:37:39,061 --> 00:37:42,022 I can't help thinking of it. 326 00:37:42,523 --> 00:37:45,359 Are you young or old? 327 00:37:47,027 --> 00:37:49,821 I'm still young. 328 00:37:49,946 --> 00:37:51,448 I dunno... 329 00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:55,911 - Is your mom young or old? - She's old. 330 00:37:56,036 --> 00:38:01,291 Do you remember when your mom was little? - No. 331 00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:02,876 Why not? 332 00:38:06,004 --> 00:38:09,090 Because I wasn't born. 333 00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:13,711 - Will you get old, too? - I'll die before then. 334 00:38:22,645 --> 00:38:24,605 What are you doing? 335 00:38:24,730 --> 00:38:27,983 I collect people's tears. 336 00:38:28,151 --> 00:38:31,862 I don't know how to cry. There are lots of things I can't do. 337 00:38:31,987 --> 00:38:37,076 But I can hear people's music. Everyone has their own music. 338 00:38:37,201 --> 00:38:41,371 Do you wanna know what yours is? 339 00:38:41,706 --> 00:38:42,873 Yes. 340 00:38:47,503 --> 00:38:52,357 It's Handel. It's lovely. Tonight I'll invent a dream for you. 341 00:38:53,058 --> 00:38:56,356 [Haendel, G Rossi ] ♪ Lascia ch'io pianga Let me mourn 342 00:38:56,441 --> 00:38:59,753 and to pine ♪ e che sospiri 343 00:39:00,192 --> 00:39:06,441 for freedom ♪ la libertà. 344 00:39:08,372 --> 00:39:14,337 and to pine ♪ E che sospiri 345 00:39:15,825 --> 00:39:22,671 and to pine ♪ e che sospiri 346 00:39:23,381 --> 00:39:28,861 for freedom ♪ la libertà. 347 00:39:31,820 --> 00:39:38,701 Let me mourn ♪ Lascia ch'io pianga 348 00:39:39,456 --> 00:39:45,429 my cruel fate, ♪ mia cruda sorte, 349 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:53,354 and to pine ♪ e che sospiri 350 00:39:54,300 --> 00:40:00,095 for freedom ♪ la libertà. 351 00:40:02,550 --> 00:40:06,218 [ ♪ ] 352 00:40:18,566 --> 00:40:22,233 [ ♪ ] 353 00:40:32,852 --> 00:40:37,912 Let my grief shatter ♪ Il duolo infranga 354 00:40:39,260 --> 00:40:45,188 these shackles ♪ queste ritorte 355 00:40:45,683 --> 00:40:50,555 of my torments ♪ de' miei martiri 356 00:40:50,748 --> 00:40:53,210 Do you know when you'll die? 357 00:40:53,335 --> 00:40:57,171 I dunno, I never had a telephone. 358 00:41:12,895 --> 00:41:16,440 The second apostle was not at home. 359 00:41:17,900 --> 00:41:21,779 {\an1}THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JEAN-CLAUDE 360 00:41:27,059 --> 00:41:30,716 For a long time, Jean-Claude was one of the greatest adventurers 361 00:41:30,762 --> 00:41:32,498 the world has ever known. 362 00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:38,962 Then one day, nobody knows how, it stopped. 363 00:41:42,007 --> 00:41:45,594 Then his life became very small. 364 00:41:51,558 --> 00:41:56,021 It's called reality, an ugly thing. 365 00:41:56,146 --> 00:42:01,484 First Jean-Claude became assistant vice-manager of a shopping center, sub-level 2. 366 00:42:01,610 --> 00:42:04,404 Then Jean-Claude climbed the corporate ladder 367 00:42:04,529 --> 00:42:07,753 to become Budget Manager of the Monitoring Department. 368 00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:11,077 That means I encode numbers. 369 00:42:11,202 --> 00:42:13,829 Jean-Claude, 58 years old... 370 00:42:13,955 --> 00:42:15,916 single, no children. 371 00:42:16,041 --> 00:42:18,959 Jean-Claude lived a shitty little life. 372 00:42:19,085 --> 00:42:25,007 He rented out the hours of his life for a shitty job with shitty hours. 373 00:43:21,646 --> 00:43:24,649 When he found out how much time he had left to live... 374 00:43:24,816 --> 00:43:29,237 he sat on a bench. And he decided never to move again. 375 00:44:51,818 --> 00:44:57,073 So, if there were no air, would birds fall? 376 00:44:57,198 --> 00:45:00,326 Dunno. How can fish breathe? 377 00:45:00,371 --> 00:45:02,094 They have gills. 378 00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:03,580 I'll make a note of that. 379 00:45:03,705 --> 00:45:08,084 - Could I have gills? - No, you're a child. 380 00:45:09,043 --> 00:45:10,628 What becomes of children? 381 00:45:10,753 --> 00:45:13,005 They become parents. Somtimes. 382 00:45:13,639 --> 00:45:17,484 - What became of your mother? - She died. 383 00:45:17,529 --> 00:45:20,346 Why did she die? 384 00:45:20,471 --> 00:45:22,389 Because she was old. 385 00:45:23,849 --> 00:45:27,436 - What becomes of old people, then? - They die. 386 00:45:34,735 --> 00:45:38,822 Your music is 'Le rappel des oiseaux' by Rameau. 387 00:45:48,331 --> 00:45:51,001 He says he likes you. 388 00:45:51,126 --> 00:45:55,672 Why does he stay in this park if he can fly anywhere? 389 00:45:58,549 --> 00:46:01,469 He says, he could ask you the same question. 390 00:46:18,569 --> 00:46:20,029 He's gone. 391 00:46:20,155 --> 00:46:23,449 An apostle who's not there, isn't that serious? 392 00:46:23,499 --> 00:46:27,177 No, I don't think so. All we needed was to get acquainted. 393 00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:24,217 Excuse me... 394 00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:28,346 I'm looking for a girl with black hair, a bit sickly... 395 00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:32,934 It hurts. Why did you do that? 396 00:47:46,022 --> 00:47:47,982 Pardon me. Damn. 397 00:47:57,032 --> 00:48:00,294 EA! EAAA! 398 00:48:07,843 --> 00:48:09,302 Hey you, bum! 399 00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:12,890 What the fuck are you up to? Eating out of garbage cans? 400 00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:15,433 I'm looking for a girl with black hair. 401 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,645 You can't eat out of a dumpster. 402 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:20,689 That garbage isn't yours. And you stink. 403 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:32,825 I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding! 404 00:48:32,993 --> 00:48:35,662 That's because I smashed your face in. 405 00:48:48,791 --> 00:48:51,278 He has nothing on him. Found between two cars. 406 00:48:51,303 --> 00:48:53,137 Does it hurt when I do this? 407 00:48:54,681 --> 00:48:58,017 Moron! Of course it hurts! It's a sprain! 408 00:48:58,142 --> 00:49:03,147 I know, because I created sprains. And migraines. That was me too! 409 00:49:03,272 --> 00:49:06,358 - Give me morphine. - Sir, we don't just hand it out. 410 00:49:06,483 --> 00:49:10,780 Aw, shut up! I'm sick of you. Don't piss me off, asshole! 411 00:49:16,743 --> 00:49:20,456 - Gimme that, I'm hungry. - Are you out of your mind? 412 00:49:26,628 --> 00:49:29,590 THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO THE SEX MANIAC 413 00:49:29,715 --> 00:49:32,634 The third apostle was named Marc. 414 00:49:32,759 --> 00:49:35,887 He called himself "sex maniac". 415 00:49:37,764 --> 00:49:39,891 ♪ Change me 416 00:49:40,367 --> 00:49:43,895 ♪ You wanna change me 417 00:49:44,771 --> 00:49:49,901 ♪ it's so much easier to change me than try... 418 00:49:54,072 --> 00:49:56,449 Marc didn't think of his parents, often. 419 00:49:56,574 --> 00:50:00,954 But when Marc thought of them, usually the same memories came to mind. 420 00:50:01,121 --> 00:50:03,915 I remember the caravan model 'Comtesse' 421 00:50:04,082 --> 00:50:07,668 which my parents bought on a ten year mortgage. 422 00:50:07,793 --> 00:50:13,341 A few cubic meters that smelled of soap, tanning lotion and tomato sauce. 423 00:50:14,134 --> 00:50:17,220 Through the anti-mildew curtain 424 00:50:17,345 --> 00:50:22,099 you can hear the rain falling on the campground 'Manga del Mar Menor'. 425 00:50:22,225 --> 00:50:26,145 I'm nine, and my life changed, barely three hours ago. 426 00:50:48,050 --> 00:50:50,455 Legs, long like pulled taffy 427 00:50:50,460 --> 00:50:54,331 a turquoise bikini as big as two dots and a comma. 428 00:50:54,506 --> 00:51:00,345 She looked at me with a strange expression a mixture of interest and disgust. 429 00:51:00,470 --> 00:51:04,724 I wanted to eat her. I smiled stupidly. 430 00:51:06,768 --> 00:51:09,145 She was the daughter of the German family. 431 00:51:14,818 --> 00:51:18,447 Of course, I have many other memories of my childhood. 432 00:51:18,572 --> 00:51:24,911 What's strange is, that in each memory there's a little sadness. 433 00:51:25,036 --> 00:51:29,498 You see my eyebrows? As if I was making an effort. 434 00:51:29,623 --> 00:51:33,002 Naturally, I AM making an effort. 435 00:51:41,512 --> 00:51:46,415 I try to prevent all the images in my head from bursting out of my eyes 436 00:51:46,449 --> 00:51:51,145 and splattering against the clean walls of my parents' living room. 437 00:51:56,900 --> 00:52:01,405 For two years, the image of the German girl, with her caramel legs 438 00:52:01,530 --> 00:52:04,950 the contempt in her eyes and the violent turquoise of her bikini 439 00:52:05,075 --> 00:52:07,495 have never left my mind. 440 00:52:07,620 --> 00:52:10,581 Then other girls came along. 441 00:52:10,706 --> 00:52:12,290 The hairdresser's daughter. 442 00:52:12,415 --> 00:52:15,961 The one with the cute nose and tight pants. 443 00:52:16,086 --> 00:52:19,172 - The baker's daughter. - With Her doe eyes 444 00:52:19,297 --> 00:52:23,343 which looked so sad, it seemed as if she'd just been crying. 445 00:52:24,386 --> 00:52:26,388 Cathy, the neighbor's daughter. 446 00:52:26,513 --> 00:52:30,808 So timid, that when she talks, it sounds like a tire blowing out. 447 00:52:30,934 --> 00:52:33,478 He hit it! Papa, he hit it! 448 00:52:35,022 --> 00:52:37,482 What becomes of children? 449 00:52:37,607 --> 00:52:39,359 They become adults. 450 00:52:39,484 --> 00:52:42,612 And what becomes of adults? 451 00:52:42,737 --> 00:52:44,906 Sometimes they have children. 452 00:52:45,031 --> 00:52:47,450 Will you have children? 453 00:52:49,327 --> 00:52:53,873 I don't have the time. Not in 83 days. And first I'd have to meet a girl. 454 00:52:53,998 --> 00:52:56,208 Look at the girl. Smile... 455 00:52:56,333 --> 00:52:59,253 unless she says something sad. 456 00:52:59,378 --> 00:53:02,381 Lesson 2. If she touches her hair, say: 457 00:53:02,506 --> 00:53:07,720 - I love your hairdo. Very original. - I love your hairdo. Very original. 458 00:53:07,845 --> 00:53:11,808 - You're different from other girls. - You're different from other girls. 459 00:53:21,983 --> 00:53:25,946 I really love your hairdo. Very original. 460 00:53:30,659 --> 00:53:34,037 When he learned he had only 83 days to live 461 00:53:34,162 --> 00:53:37,458 He thought, time is too short. He hadn't a day to lose. 462 00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:40,335 I thought, I'll empty out my bank account. 463 00:53:40,461 --> 00:53:43,547 18,000 euro, 83 days to live, 464 00:53:43,672 --> 00:53:46,382 200 euros per day, and the rest for food. 465 00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:49,778 It's all there. 466 00:54:49,904 --> 00:54:55,034 At the same time, so close at hand 467 00:54:55,159 --> 00:54:57,494 yet so far away. 468 00:55:07,837 --> 00:55:11,132 I want them all, all... 469 00:55:11,257 --> 00:55:14,260 Life would be like a miracle. 470 00:55:19,398 --> 00:55:22,702 Let the days pass and take me towards death. 471 00:55:22,727 --> 00:55:27,732 Nothing matters anymore, my life will be as I dreamed. 472 00:55:28,191 --> 00:55:32,153 Never, in my life, I'd imagined days so full of happiness. 473 00:55:32,278 --> 00:55:37,033 Days flavored of fresh fruits, days flavored of grand mysterious voyages 474 00:55:37,158 --> 00:55:40,369 salty flavored days, days of infinite beauty. 475 00:55:42,213 --> 00:55:45,158 Until the day I ran out of money. 476 00:55:45,166 --> 00:55:47,751 200 euros a day is a bit short. 477 00:55:47,776 --> 00:55:51,734 Salty flavored* days ... Does 'gout*' have an accent? 478 00:55:51,754 --> 00:55:56,494 - Why isn't everything free on earth? - I don't know. 479 00:56:04,142 --> 00:56:07,437 Your music is 'O Solitude' by Purcell. 480 00:56:07,563 --> 00:56:12,025 It was written for a voice like yours. You have a very nice voice. 481 00:56:12,150 --> 00:56:16,154 You could try to earn some money with your voice. 482 00:56:18,387 --> 00:56:22,992 ♪ O, solitude. 483 00:56:25,163 --> 00:56:28,041 Test. 1, 2, 3 ... Test. 484 00:56:28,166 --> 00:56:31,336 Perfect. When you see the 'H' start. - OK. 485 00:56:34,172 --> 00:56:37,342 - Ah, ooh... - Aah... 486 00:56:38,385 --> 00:56:40,553 - More, more. - Yes, yes. 487 00:56:41,388 --> 00:56:43,556 Yes, yes, yes... 488 00:56:45,392 --> 00:56:48,227 - Great. Oh good! - Ahh! 489 00:56:55,652 --> 00:56:58,112 OK, very good. I'll just change the roll. 490 00:57:09,665 --> 00:57:12,043 Ah, Proust. 491 00:57:12,168 --> 00:57:14,628 'In Search of Lost Time' 492 00:57:14,753 --> 00:57:17,423 "For a long time I would go to bed early" 493 00:57:17,548 --> 00:57:19,091 I especially like Elstir. 494 00:57:19,110 --> 00:57:22,594 I can't figure out if he's really in love with Andrée 495 00:57:22,719 --> 00:57:25,055 or if it's to make Albertine jealous. 496 00:57:25,181 --> 00:57:28,975 Just 'to call a spud a spud'?* 497 00:57:29,100 --> 00:57:31,687 Pardon? 498 00:57:31,812 --> 00:57:34,898 'call a spate a spate'.* 499 00:57:37,233 --> 00:57:40,737 - There's some sadness in Proust. - I think so too. 500 00:57:40,862 --> 00:57:44,240 Through his secondary characters Proust 'in a grain of pepper'* 501 00:57:44,365 --> 00:57:47,568 manages to 'pull the doughnuts out of the fire'.* 502 00:57:50,288 --> 00:57:52,332 I like the way you talk. 503 00:57:52,457 --> 00:57:55,929 Excuse my French, I always 'put my mouth in my foot'. 504 00:57:55,954 --> 00:57:59,419 The way you said "call a spud a spud", is lovely.* 505 00:57:59,464 --> 00:58:02,508 Why? Isn't that how you say it? 506 00:58:02,908 --> 00:58:04,319 No. 507 00:58:12,017 --> 00:58:15,471 - Manga del Mar Menor. - Bitte? (sorry?) 508 00:58:16,814 --> 00:58:19,317 Manga del Mar Menor. 509 00:58:19,442 --> 00:58:22,027 The campground. The beach. 510 00:58:22,945 --> 00:58:27,900 That boy was me. Das kleine Kind, das war ich. 511 00:58:27,908 --> 00:58:29,614 - Wirklich? (Really?) - Ja. 512 00:58:29,660 --> 00:58:32,546 - Das warst du? (That was you?) - Ja. 513 00:59:00,607 --> 00:59:02,609 It's been a pleasure. 514 00:59:06,738 --> 00:59:08,865 Would you like to... 515 00:59:10,324 --> 00:59:12,035 Yes. 516 00:59:38,319 --> 00:59:41,597 My heart is pounding like a 'stammer'. 517 00:59:43,732 --> 00:59:45,651 Mine too. 518 00:59:49,905 --> 00:59:52,366 - Good night. - Good night. 519 01:00:30,287 --> 01:00:32,905 ... 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... 520 01:00:34,991 --> 01:00:37,910 ... 13, 14, 15! 521 01:01:34,496 --> 01:01:36,677 Andale. Piss off. Stand in line! 522 01:01:36,843 --> 01:01:39,262 - This line's faster. - Get back there! 523 01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:49,272 No, no... 524 01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:52,859 I'm god! 525 01:02:00,908 --> 01:02:05,455 Such a beautiful face. It radiates peace. 526 01:02:07,748 --> 01:02:11,627 God tells us, 'love your neighbor as yourself'. 527 01:02:11,752 --> 01:02:14,714 - I never said that. - Pardon? 528 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,174 - I never said that! - No, I... 529 01:02:17,199 --> 01:02:21,421 I detest myself, so I'd never say it. I'd say, I dunno... 530 01:02:21,426 --> 01:02:26,183 detest your neighbor as you detest yourself. 531 01:02:26,308 --> 01:02:28,060 But that guy, there ... 532 01:02:28,227 --> 01:02:30,688 screwed it up. 533 01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:36,235 He improvised. Went with his feelings. See? 534 01:02:38,278 --> 01:02:39,779 But 'I' am God. 535 01:02:39,905 --> 01:02:42,824 I invented all the crap. 536 01:02:42,950 --> 01:02:45,744 You're a nice guy. Hm? 537 01:02:45,869 --> 01:02:48,372 - Got a big heart? - I try. 538 01:02:48,497 --> 01:02:51,666 You're daydreamer. 539 01:02:51,791 --> 01:02:53,543 Ludovic. 540 01:02:54,419 --> 01:02:59,799 Your mother died when you were five. No? And you were grief-stricken. 541 01:02:59,924 --> 01:03:02,260 And you got polio, afterwards. 542 01:03:02,386 --> 01:03:06,765 Oh, poor Ludovic. One leg shorter than the other. 543 01:03:07,932 --> 01:03:10,101 How, sad! 544 01:03:11,352 --> 01:03:13,772 And little Cécile. Remember Cécile? 545 01:03:13,897 --> 01:03:16,608 Lovely little Cécile! 546 01:03:16,733 --> 01:03:20,444 You were in love with Cécile. You loved Cécile, huh? 547 01:03:20,569 --> 01:03:23,865 When you gave her flowers, what did she do? Laughed in your face! 548 01:03:23,990 --> 01:03:28,827 She laughed in your face because she was with that asshole with a moped. 549 01:03:28,953 --> 01:03:33,166 And you couldn't ride a moped because you had one leg shorter than the other. 550 01:03:33,332 --> 01:03:37,045 All that was me. ME! Understand? 551 01:03:37,170 --> 01:03:38,879 He is nothing. 552 01:03:39,004 --> 01:03:41,799 All he succeded in doing 553 01:03:41,924 --> 01:03:46,153 was getting himself nailed to a coat rack*, like an owl. 554 01:03:56,396 --> 01:03:59,700 I'm GOD! Are you sick in the head? 555 01:04:00,317 --> 01:04:03,403 THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO THE ASSASSIN 556 01:04:04,863 --> 01:04:07,449 The fourth apostle was named Francois. 557 01:04:07,574 --> 01:04:10,994 The day everyone learned how long they had to live 558 01:04:11,119 --> 01:04:12,788 Francois bought a rifle. 559 01:04:16,791 --> 01:04:19,877 If he shot his target and missed 560 01:04:20,003 --> 01:04:23,798 it meant, it wasn't that person's day to die. 561 01:04:23,923 --> 01:04:28,345 If he killed the person, then, it wouldn't be his fault. 562 01:04:29,411 --> 01:04:34,191 It was written. Francois was merely the hand of destiny. 563 01:05:11,262 --> 01:05:13,889 He'd always loved death. 564 01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,865 He loved funerals. 565 01:05:33,116 --> 01:05:37,746 Francois never cried. He was never sad. 566 01:05:37,871 --> 01:05:40,540 He called himself The Assassin. 567 01:05:40,666 --> 01:05:44,377 The Assassin had slain according to this partial list: 568 01:05:44,502 --> 01:05:47,297 Ants: number, unknown. 569 01:05:48,589 --> 01:05:50,758 Flies: number, unknown. 570 01:05:54,470 --> 01:05:56,556 Butterflies: six. 571 01:05:57,082 --> 01:05:59,492 Estimates by The Assassin. 572 01:05:59,559 --> 01:06:02,112 His cousin's mice. 573 01:06:03,271 --> 01:06:05,856 Two parakeets, still his cousin's 574 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,628 Poisoned by 'spirits of salt'* (HCl) in the food dish. 575 01:06:10,695 --> 01:06:13,030 The Assassin knew that he was an assassin 576 01:06:13,065 --> 01:06:17,114 ever since as a very small child he became aware of himself. 577 01:06:17,159 --> 01:06:20,913 At the same time he realized there was a world outside himself. 578 01:06:21,038 --> 01:06:24,667 At the same time he became aware of the great frontier 579 01:06:24,792 --> 01:06:28,628 separating the world of life from that of death. 580 01:06:33,926 --> 01:06:36,011 I knew I was the 'Ferryman'. 581 01:06:36,136 --> 01:06:40,975 I was made for taking lives, it was my deep nature I couldn't help it. 582 01:06:41,100 --> 01:06:45,645 Like hair color, or shape of the nose, it's genetically coded. 583 01:06:45,770 --> 01:06:48,107 I'm an assassin. 584 01:06:48,232 --> 01:06:51,901 My focus, my raison d'etre, my vocation is ... 585 01:06:52,026 --> 01:06:53,570 killing. 586 01:06:54,070 --> 01:06:57,073 Today The Assassin is 41 years old, 587 01:06:57,198 --> 01:07:01,536 At this stage, what's important to know about The Assassin 588 01:07:01,661 --> 01:07:04,748 is that his wife is named Catherine. 589 01:07:04,873 --> 01:07:09,202 They had a child; a boy, by mutual accord, called Grégory. 590 01:07:10,579 --> 01:07:14,423 Catherine doesn't know that The Assassin is an assassin. 591 01:07:14,590 --> 01:07:17,351 She usually calls him - 'Cheri' - in the daytime, 592 01:07:17,376 --> 01:07:19,328 on the phone, or with friends. 593 01:07:19,337 --> 01:07:22,306 Sometimes - 'Bunny-rabbit'- on certain nights: 594 01:07:22,431 --> 01:07:26,852 or - 'Francois'.- during serious discussions or arguments. 595 01:07:26,978 --> 01:07:30,731 Francois was one of the many victims of 'Law 1522' 596 01:07:30,856 --> 01:07:32,483 invented by my father. 597 01:07:32,650 --> 01:07:36,404 If, one day, you fall in love 598 01:07:36,570 --> 01:07:40,616 with a woman, there's a great chance 599 01:07:40,671 --> 01:07:43,594 you will not spend your life with her. 600 01:07:43,661 --> 01:07:47,665 Francois used to sell life insurance but quickly realized 601 01:07:47,790 --> 01:07:50,125 that his job served no purpose. 602 01:07:50,250 --> 01:07:54,129 For your last day, choose one of our fifty destinations. 603 01:07:54,254 --> 01:07:57,966 Treat yourself to an end that surpasses all that preceded it. 604 01:08:00,343 --> 01:08:02,345 Hi, Kevin here again. 605 01:08:48,850 --> 01:08:51,393 Why do you shoot at people? 606 01:08:51,518 --> 01:08:56,123 If they die, it's not my fault. It's their time to die, today. 607 01:08:56,148 --> 01:08:58,860 If I miss ... 608 01:08:58,985 --> 01:09:00,861 this wasn't their day. 609 01:09:00,987 --> 01:09:04,781 - Is your gun loaded? - No, not yet. 610 01:09:06,575 --> 01:09:09,370 I should tell you it's not your fault. 611 01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:13,174 I fucked up all this shit. I sent off the death dates 612 01:09:13,199 --> 01:09:15,709 to get revenge on my father. 613 01:09:15,834 --> 01:09:20,088 I thought I could do some good for people. Now I must find six apostles. 614 01:09:20,213 --> 01:09:22,257 You're the fourth. 615 01:09:27,012 --> 01:09:30,181 Your music is 'The Death and the Maiden' by Schubert. 616 01:09:30,306 --> 01:09:34,019 It's sad but beautiful. It would go well with Handel. 617 01:09:34,144 --> 01:09:38,514 You should try shooting a young woman with chestnut hair. 618 01:09:40,776 --> 01:09:42,568 Go ahead. 619 01:09:44,821 --> 01:09:47,282 She'll pass by in six seconds. 620 01:09:47,407 --> 01:09:49,993 One crocodile, two crocodiles, three crocodiles 621 01:09:50,118 --> 01:09:54,039 four crocodiles, five crocodiles, six crocodiles... 622 01:09:57,458 --> 01:10:00,336 - How'd you do that? - That's her. Shoot. 623 01:10:00,836 --> 01:10:02,680 Shoot! Shoot! 624 01:10:08,303 --> 01:10:09,804 What happened? 625 01:10:09,929 --> 01:10:11,889 A miracle. 626 01:10:17,943 --> 01:10:22,267 [♪ Aria della Speranza - A. Scarlatti ] 627 01:10:47,965 --> 01:10:55,932 ♪ Mentr’io godo in dolce oblio 628 01:11:03,669 --> 01:11:11,385 ♪ Con piu lento mormorio 629 01:11:19,032 --> 01:11:23,065 ♪ Scherzi l’aura 630 01:11:23,159 --> 01:11:30,898 ♪ Scherzi l’aura intorno al cor 631 01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,652 I don't love you. 632 01:11:33,672 --> 01:11:35,755 ♪ Scherzi 633 01:11:36,850 --> 01:11:40,263 ♪ l'aura 634 01:11:41,226 --> 01:11:42,686 I don't love you. 635 01:11:42,811 --> 01:11:45,313 I don't love you. I don't love you. 636 01:11:45,467 --> 01:11:48,511 ♪ intorno al cor. 637 01:12:03,248 --> 01:12:04,833 Yeah. 638 01:12:12,549 --> 01:12:14,676 A little tired, that's all. 639 01:12:35,780 --> 01:12:38,032 Excuse me ... 640 01:12:38,157 --> 01:12:40,076 I love you. 641 01:12:40,201 --> 01:12:44,706 I've never loved anyone. I'm married, I don't love my wife. 642 01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:48,876 I don't love my son, either. I never loved my parents. 643 01:12:49,043 --> 01:12:51,128 I've never loved anything, anyhow. 644 01:12:51,253 --> 01:12:52,880 Except you. 645 01:12:54,381 --> 01:12:57,969 I love you and I will always love you. 646 01:12:59,136 --> 01:13:01,888 If you don't love me, it's fine. 647 01:13:02,014 --> 01:13:06,852 I'll go live alone, waiting for death, thinking of you every day. 648 01:13:17,679 --> 01:13:19,790 I wrote my number on the wrapping. 649 01:13:19,865 --> 01:13:22,075 She'll call you. 650 01:13:54,064 --> 01:13:57,235 13, 14, 15, 16 ... 651 01:14:36,606 --> 01:14:38,942 Hi, still Kevin. 652 01:14:42,404 --> 01:14:44,656 62 years to live! 653 01:14:50,870 --> 01:14:53,998 THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARTINE 654 01:14:54,165 --> 01:14:57,210 The fifth apostle was called Martine. 655 01:14:58,637 --> 01:15:02,206 In the beginning, when she still lived in the land of childhood 656 01:15:02,273 --> 01:15:07,026 Martine's heart was composed, 95%, of gooey, perfumy stuff 657 01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:10,564 which predisposes you to romantic love. 658 01:15:11,557 --> 01:15:14,352 Some things, you can't change. 659 01:15:14,477 --> 01:15:19,065 {\an4}Martine, you have 5 years, 2 months, 17 days to live. 660 01:15:27,323 --> 01:15:30,118 - I won't be here, tonight. - What? 661 01:15:30,243 --> 01:15:33,996 I have a meeting in Düsseldorf, with the Germans. - Oh. 662 01:16:01,281 --> 01:16:04,442 'Morning, Madame. Feel like a coffee? 663 01:16:35,890 --> 01:16:38,726 My husband came by the house. 664 01:16:38,851 --> 01:16:43,064 He got a message that he had 39 years left to live. 665 01:16:43,189 --> 01:16:48,027 I told him I had five years. It seemed to comfort him. 666 01:17:01,907 --> 01:17:03,884 Is 200, OK? 667 01:17:32,904 --> 01:17:34,948 You have beautiful hair, Madame. 668 01:17:35,031 --> 01:17:38,701 Thank you. Would you mind not calling me, Madame? 669 01:17:40,620 --> 01:17:43,081 You have very beautiful eyes, too. 670 01:17:43,206 --> 01:17:46,917 Thank you. What's your name? 671 01:17:47,043 --> 01:17:48,919 I'm called Philippe. 672 01:17:50,171 --> 01:17:51,756 Oh, yes... 673 01:17:58,471 --> 01:18:00,097 Don't look. 674 01:18:45,016 --> 01:18:48,562 When I see people, I hear their little music. 675 01:18:48,687 --> 01:18:51,189 Everyone has their own little music. 676 01:19:00,489 --> 01:19:02,241 You... 677 01:19:02,366 --> 01:19:04,410 have circus music. 678 01:19:04,447 --> 01:19:10,329 [ ♪ Entry of the Gladiators aka Thunder and Blazes Vjezd gladiátorů- Julius Fučík ] 679 01:19:53,466 --> 01:19:56,503 He says he likes you. 680 01:19:56,628 --> 01:19:59,948 It's the first time something so beautiful happened to me. 681 01:20:00,015 --> 01:20:03,894 Such lovely proof of love makes me so happy. 682 01:20:44,466 --> 01:20:47,178 Never mind, I'm fed up with that thing. 683 01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:50,014 Make yourself at home. Want something to drink? 684 01:20:55,811 --> 01:20:58,939 Sure you don't want to sleep inside? 685 01:20:59,065 --> 01:21:02,526 I can't sleep unless I see the sky. 686 01:21:02,651 --> 01:21:04,945 Victor had done 6 months in prison. 687 01:21:05,070 --> 01:21:08,574 He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 688 01:21:08,699 --> 01:21:13,704 When he got out, he couldn't stand to sleep with a roof over him. 689 01:21:13,829 --> 01:21:17,624 He was afraid of waking up locked up. 690 01:21:56,954 --> 01:21:58,456 17. 691 01:22:20,978 --> 01:22:23,898 How do you know, you love me? 692 01:22:24,523 --> 01:22:26,441 You don't even know me. 693 01:22:27,442 --> 01:22:30,929 I shot at you. I hit you and nothing happened. 694 01:22:30,954 --> 01:22:33,723 Then I followed you, I could smell your odor. 695 01:22:33,812 --> 01:22:37,777 It's like watercress. And I fell in love. 696 01:22:45,427 --> 01:22:47,696 All right, come. 697 01:24:19,719 --> 01:24:21,388 Oh, shit. 698 01:24:41,991 --> 01:24:43,325 Ea! 699 01:24:47,629 --> 01:24:51,350 - Who's he? - My Father, God. 700 01:24:51,417 --> 01:24:53,619 I never imagined him like that. 701 01:25:10,394 --> 01:25:14,523 Praise Myself! You're coming home and you'll reboot my computer. 702 01:25:14,648 --> 01:25:16,733 You don't scare me. 703 01:25:16,858 --> 01:25:19,235 See what a state I'm in? 704 01:25:20,111 --> 01:25:22,030 Why won't you reboot it? 705 01:25:22,155 --> 01:25:25,951 Why won't you reboot my computer? And put a stop to this crap. 706 01:25:26,076 --> 01:25:28,161 I'm never coming back! 707 01:25:28,536 --> 01:25:29,996 Do you like it here? 708 01:25:30,121 --> 01:25:34,209 I'm happy, I got lots of friends. I just need one more apostle, to make 18. 709 01:25:34,334 --> 01:25:35,961 STOOOOPP!! 710 01:25:36,086 --> 01:25:38,838 Stop it, with your 18 apostles. 711 01:25:38,913 --> 01:25:41,306 12! There are 12, like hockey team. 712 01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:43,884 It works, it always has! I told your brother. 713 01:25:44,009 --> 01:25:46,887 You want 18 because your mother loves baseball. 714 01:25:47,012 --> 01:25:50,350 But, FUCK BASEBALL! 715 01:25:51,767 --> 01:25:54,937 You always loved your mother more than me. 716 01:25:58,841 --> 01:26:01,368 *Bai He Quan, the White Crane! 717 01:26:08,158 --> 01:26:11,161 I've seen it. 'Way of the Dragon'? 718 01:26:12,162 --> 01:26:14,048 The Cunning Elephant. 719 01:26:18,928 --> 01:26:21,496 Forget it, Victor. Let's go. 720 01:26:24,933 --> 01:26:26,501 No. 721 01:26:27,761 --> 01:26:29,721 Give me your hand. 722 01:26:40,014 --> 01:26:44,411 Ea! Don't make me come over there! Ea, get back here! 723 01:26:54,028 --> 01:26:55,288 Ea! 724 01:26:56,030 --> 01:26:57,290 Ea! 725 01:27:09,343 --> 01:27:12,305 We fished him out of the canal. 726 01:27:12,370 --> 01:27:15,824 Dry him out on the mattress with the Uzbeks. 727 01:28:18,202 --> 01:28:19,746 THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO WILLY 728 01:28:19,871 --> 01:28:23,500 The sixth and last apostle was named Willy. 729 01:28:23,625 --> 01:28:26,836 When Willy found out how long he had to live 730 01:28:26,961 --> 01:28:30,172 he decided to become a girl. 731 01:28:30,297 --> 01:28:33,417 Willy was my own personal miracle. 732 01:28:36,595 --> 01:28:39,390 Willy has always been sickly. 733 01:28:39,515 --> 01:28:43,644 You know what skin cancer is? I've told you before, eh? 734 01:28:47,064 --> 01:28:48,940 Time for your injection. 735 01:28:49,066 --> 01:28:52,944 He never had anything serious like cancer or stuff like that 736 01:28:53,069 --> 01:28:55,497 but sick, nevertheless. Always. 737 01:28:58,534 --> 01:29:01,412 When we were alone my mother used to look at me. 738 01:29:01,537 --> 01:29:05,081 A funny look. Like I was a box of tacks still lying around 739 01:29:05,206 --> 01:29:07,375 after she'd just cleaned house. 740 01:29:09,294 --> 01:29:12,673 Then she said I looked like hell. 741 01:29:12,839 --> 01:29:16,760 - You look like hell. - And that I should keep calm. 742 01:29:16,885 --> 01:29:19,345 You have to keep calm. 743 01:29:19,400 --> 01:29:23,058 And then she gave me that darned injection. 744 01:29:23,113 --> 01:29:28,071 Deep inside, something told me all was not right with my mother's injections. 745 01:29:31,191 --> 01:29:33,484 Can we increase the dose? 746 01:29:33,609 --> 01:29:38,198 I know it's difficult for you. You're doing all you can. 747 01:29:40,408 --> 01:29:42,076 The doctor liked my mother. 748 01:29:42,202 --> 01:29:46,247 He spoke to her, as if to a draft horse, that he pitied. 749 01:29:46,372 --> 01:29:51,669 He thought, it can't be easy to have child in fragile health. 750 01:29:51,794 --> 01:29:54,046 He cast a worried glance me, 751 01:29:54,171 --> 01:29:58,075 as if he found it odd that I had any temperature at all, 752 01:29:58,759 --> 01:30:02,537 since I puked, morning till night, a sort of greenish bile. 753 01:30:02,805 --> 01:30:06,050 By the age of 7, I'd had an operation on my pancreas 754 01:30:06,065 --> 01:30:10,604 because the synthetic anti-diabetics my mother shot me up with, daily, 755 01:30:10,730 --> 01:30:14,191 had burned it out like a hamburger. 756 01:30:14,316 --> 01:30:17,486 Then, what was supposed to happen, happened. 757 01:30:26,078 --> 01:30:29,623 It's next Sunday. In a week. 758 01:30:29,748 --> 01:30:31,916 I know. It's my fault. 759 01:30:32,041 --> 01:30:34,711 I released the death dates. 760 01:30:34,836 --> 01:30:39,966 You did right. Afterwards, everything changed for me, for the better. 761 01:30:46,430 --> 01:30:48,266 Your mother and I ... 762 01:30:48,391 --> 01:30:52,561 felt we should be honest with you. 763 01:30:53,187 --> 01:30:55,481 You'll die on ... 764 01:30:55,606 --> 01:30:59,735 You still have ... a few weeks. 765 01:30:59,861 --> 01:31:03,656 We didn't tell you earlier because you might... 766 01:31:03,781 --> 01:31:06,075 Is there anything you'd like? 767 01:31:06,200 --> 01:31:11,122 Do you want to quit school? Take a trip? Whatever... 768 01:31:11,247 --> 01:31:13,166 we'll agree. 769 01:31:15,083 --> 01:31:17,711 Can boys become girls? 770 01:31:20,631 --> 01:31:22,258 What? 771 01:31:23,008 --> 01:31:25,636 I'd like to be a girl. 772 01:31:28,556 --> 01:31:30,015 Are you sure? 773 01:31:49,159 --> 01:31:51,794 Parents are such jerks! 774 01:31:51,870 --> 01:31:53,718 My friend's parents... 775 01:31:53,721 --> 01:31:57,959 when they found out, he was gonna die, kept him locked up. 776 01:31:58,085 --> 01:32:03,631 He wanted to live as Alpha Arceus. That's an aluminum Pokémon. 777 01:32:03,756 --> 01:32:06,634 At first they said OK. 778 01:32:06,759 --> 01:32:10,638 Then, they preferred that he listen to J. S. Bach, 779 01:32:10,763 --> 01:32:13,641 for the ten days he had left. 780 01:32:13,766 --> 01:32:16,436 I felt like shooting myself! 781 01:32:16,978 --> 01:32:20,022 We live in a totally shitty world! 782 01:32:20,147 --> 01:32:24,068 I know, it's my father's fault. 783 01:32:24,193 --> 01:32:26,112 - Your father? - My father is God. 784 01:32:26,237 --> 01:32:30,407 Couldn't get along with him, so I split. 785 01:32:30,462 --> 01:32:33,415 My mother, too, is a goddess, but doesn't dare say anything. 786 01:32:33,460 --> 01:32:35,579 She embroiders, all day. 787 01:32:35,704 --> 01:32:38,415 My father makes her zip her mouth. 788 01:32:40,001 --> 01:32:42,253 Sometimes I miss my mother. 789 01:32:45,589 --> 01:32:49,493 18. This changes everything. 18! 790 01:32:52,012 --> 01:32:54,139 Just like baseball. 791 01:32:59,269 --> 01:33:03,440 Does your father have powers like a superhero? 792 01:33:03,565 --> 01:33:07,360 - Just power hungry. - Do you have powers? 793 01:33:17,328 --> 01:33:20,040 You can multiply ham sandwiches! 794 01:33:20,165 --> 01:33:22,083 Doesn't always work, just sometimes. 795 01:33:22,208 --> 01:33:24,710 Sometimes the ham's missing 796 01:33:24,836 --> 01:33:28,464 There's lots of stuff I can't do. Crying, for example. 797 01:33:28,589 --> 01:33:32,218 There's lots of stuff I've never done. I've seen nothing of the world. 798 01:33:32,343 --> 01:33:36,055 I've never eaten an apple, I've never seen the sea. 799 01:33:40,976 --> 01:33:44,605 Your music is "La Mer" by Charles Trenet. It's nice. 800 01:33:44,730 --> 01:33:46,982 Tonight, I'll invent a dream for you. 801 01:33:50,069 --> 01:33:52,112 Willy, at least, eat the fish. 802 01:34:00,079 --> 01:34:09,129 ♪ La mer, qu'on voit danser Le long des golfes clairs 803 01:34:11,090 --> 01:34:22,142 ♪ A des reflets d'argent, la mer A des reflets changeants sous la pluie 804 01:34:23,902 --> 01:34:32,151 ♪ La mer au ciel d'été Confond ses blancs moutons 805 01:34:34,112 --> 01:34:42,461 ♪ Avec les anges si purs. La mer bergère d'azur infinie 806 01:34:42,579 --> 01:34:46,875 - He said he wants to return to the sea. - I understand that. 807 01:34:47,000 --> 01:34:50,044 Good idea taking him to the sea. 808 01:34:50,119 --> 01:34:54,215 I'm gonna die in a week, might as well die at the seaside. 809 01:35:03,057 --> 01:35:06,019 That's a great dress. Totally awesome! 810 01:35:09,322 --> 01:35:12,386 OK, I think, we need to help the kids. 811 01:35:12,441 --> 01:35:15,403 Yes, I think so, too, we need to help the kids. 812 01:35:15,528 --> 01:35:18,281 We have a week to wrap it up. 813 01:35:18,489 --> 01:35:23,869 MONDAY: Willy sold his parents' furniture. 814 01:35:23,952 --> 01:35:26,622 Travel is expensive. 815 01:35:26,747 --> 01:35:31,209 TUESDAY: Aurélie asked The Assassin to stop assassinating. 816 01:35:31,334 --> 01:35:34,421 Please don't shoot at people. 817 01:35:34,546 --> 01:35:36,757 I've lost interest in that. 818 01:35:38,759 --> 01:35:42,755 WEDNESDAY:, Martine put her life in order. 819 01:36:00,488 --> 01:36:02,782 Ah, back already? 820 01:36:02,907 --> 01:36:04,909 What's this crap? 821 01:36:04,934 --> 01:36:07,387 I want you to go away and never come back. 822 01:36:07,412 --> 01:36:08,746 Oh, I say! 823 01:36:30,149 --> 01:36:32,403 Oh, you were marvellous! 824 01:36:34,480 --> 01:36:39,110 THURSDAY: Marc and Xenia made love for the first time. 825 01:36:40,569 --> 01:36:42,863 And they liked it. 826 01:36:49,853 --> 01:36:55,050 My mother availed herself of Thursday to wash the windows. 827 01:36:57,628 --> 01:37:01,131 FRIDAY: Willy and I decided that every day 828 01:37:01,197 --> 01:37:05,552 instead of being called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... 829 01:37:05,577 --> 01:37:09,047 would be called January, February, March... 830 01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:17,055 ♪ So Frankly spoken. They'd adore to see her failing in her quest for love love love 831 01:37:22,277 --> 01:37:26,189 By week's end, we'd lived together for seven months. 832 01:37:26,201 --> 01:37:32,195 ♪ Little Sally, shameless girl They're just as jealous as you question their world 833 01:37:32,207 --> 01:37:37,200 ♪ She'd say: "Okay I'll be going all the way 834 01:37:37,212 --> 01:37:42,204 ♪ But the hardest part of living is from day to day" 835 01:37:50,925 --> 01:37:58,520 ♪ Lazy days in the sun It doesn't matter if your battle's won 836 01:37:58,532 --> 01:38:03,325 ♪ If it's done Living day to day 837 01:38:04,609 --> 01:38:08,572 SATURDAY: Jean-Claude reached the Arctic Circle. 838 01:39:05,294 --> 01:39:08,597 On Saturday, God, having no papers, 839 01:39:08,632 --> 01:39:11,294 got himself deported to Uzbekistan. 840 01:39:11,409 --> 01:39:15,346 I'll make it rain frogs and locusts! 841 01:39:15,513 --> 01:39:19,475 A pox on your face! 842 01:39:19,600 --> 01:39:21,394 YOU MOTHERFUCKERRR!! 843 01:39:21,519 --> 01:39:24,062 Don't you know who I am? Don't you know? 844 01:39:24,187 --> 01:39:28,709 I'll turn you into a stutterer and a premature ejaculator! 845 01:39:28,759 --> 01:39:31,779 SONG OF SONGS 846 01:39:37,284 --> 01:39:41,204 And on Sunday everybody was at the seaside. 847 01:39:47,402 --> 01:39:51,189 Seems I'm not the only one with the idea of dying by the sea. 848 01:39:51,234 --> 01:39:55,677 I didn't dare say it, but it's true seems everyone had the same idea. 849 01:40:29,501 --> 01:40:34,465 Would all those dying today, come get a black armband. 850 01:40:35,674 --> 01:40:39,678 Those accompanying them, get a white armband. 851 01:40:43,215 --> 01:40:47,478 All those dying today, come get a black armband. 852 01:40:48,587 --> 01:40:52,090 Those accompanying them, get a white armband. 853 01:40:52,591 --> 01:40:54,092 Voila. 854 01:40:59,765 --> 01:41:03,118 What will all the black armbands die of ? 855 01:41:12,210 --> 01:41:16,256 All we have to do is wait. Won't be long. 856 01:41:18,591 --> 01:41:21,886 Any chance of it not happening? 857 01:41:21,932 --> 01:41:26,332 My brother said, with 6 more apostles, it'd make 18, 858 01:41:26,336 --> 01:41:27,638 like in baseball. 859 01:41:27,683 --> 01:41:29,477 And that would change something, 860 01:41:29,485 --> 01:41:31,539 because it's mom's favorite number. 861 01:41:31,604 --> 01:41:33,398 He must have been mistaken. 862 01:41:38,235 --> 01:41:41,339 He'd just turned 18 ♪ Il venait d'avoir 18 ans 863 01:41:41,364 --> 01:41:44,133 Beautiful as a child ♪ Il était beau comme un enfant 864 01:41:44,158 --> 01:41:46,869 Strong as a man ♪ Fort comme un homme 865 01:41:48,746 --> 01:41:51,451 It was summer, obviously. ♪ C'était l'été évidemment 866 01:41:51,498 --> 01:41:54,284 When I saw him, I counted ♪ Et j'ai compté en le voyant 867 01:41:54,309 --> 01:41:58,213 All my autumn nights. ♪ Mes nuits d'automne 868 01:41:59,114 --> 01:42:02,116 I re-arranged my hair, ♪ J'ai mis de l'ordre à mes cheveux 869 01:42:02,117 --> 01:42:06,121 More shadow on my eyes. ♪ Un peu plus de noir sur mes yeux 870 01:42:06,171 --> 01:42:09,224 It made him laugh. ♪ Ca l'a fait rire 871 01:42:09,724 --> 01:42:13,228 As he drew near, ♪ Quand il s'est approché de moi 872 01:42:13,628 --> 01:42:17,432 I'd have given anything ♪ J'aurais donné n'importe quoi 873 01:42:17,732 --> 01:42:21,236 To seduce him ♪ Pour le séduire 874 01:42:22,487 --> 01:42:25,239 He'd just turned 18. ♪ Il venait d'avoir 18 ans 875 01:42:25,290 --> 01:42:28,343 That was the best argument ♪ C'était le plus bel argument 876 01:42:28,393 --> 01:42:31,245 For his victory. ♪ De sa victoire 877 01:42:32,146 --> 01:42:35,299 He didn't speak to me of love. ♪ Il ne m'a pas parlé d'amour 878 01:42:35,349 --> 01:42:38,302 He thought that words of love ♪ Il pensait que les mots d'amour 879 01:42:38,352 --> 01:42:42,256 Are laughable. ♪ Sont dérisoires 880 01:42:51,790 --> 01:42:54,093 It's been nice to know you. 881 01:43:05,070 --> 01:43:08,699 Shall we read a few lines of our Brand New Testament? 882 01:43:15,748 --> 01:43:18,792 "Life is like a skating rink." 883 01:43:19,793 --> 01:43:21,169 That was me. 884 01:43:21,294 --> 01:43:23,213 "If there was no air 885 01:43:23,338 --> 01:43:25,924 birds would fall." 886 01:43:37,402 --> 01:43:41,448 Seems to be losing altitude. It's coming right at us. 887 01:43:44,567 --> 01:43:47,462 Son of a motherfucking whore, we're all gonna die. 888 01:43:47,470 --> 01:43:49,464 Only the black armbands. 889 01:44:04,987 --> 01:44:05,588 NOOO!! 890 01:44:05,591 --> 01:44:09,054 [ Dalida ] ♪ Il avait vu au cinéma 891 01:44:09,211 --> 01:44:12,975 ♪ Le blé en herbes 892 01:44:13,522 --> 01:44:15,252 ♪ Au creux d'un lit improvisé 893 01:44:15,253 --> 01:44:16,515 {\an5}Do you want to re-initialize? 894 01:44:16,953 --> 01:44:20,634 ♪ J'ai découvert émerveillée 895 01:44:21,020 --> 01:44:24,599 ♪ Un ciel superbe 896 01:44:34,033 --> 01:44:35,617 {\an5}ENTER YOUR PERSONAL CODE 897 01:44:35,622 --> 01:44:37,986 ♪ He'd just turned 18 898 01:44:38,028 --> 01:44:39,616 18!♥ 899 01:44:42,524 --> 01:44:46,537 Hello Goddess, I'm glad to see you again. 900 01:44:47,921 --> 01:44:50,006 Re-initializing 901 01:45:12,946 --> 01:45:14,730 REBOOTING 902 01:45:14,754 --> 01:45:18,618 I'm not dead? What happened? 903 01:45:23,776 --> 01:45:27,377 The countdown's disappeared. Everything's like before. 904 01:45:27,502 --> 01:45:29,420 Who did that? 905 01:45:32,107 --> 01:45:36,042 [ Adamo ] ♪ Tombe la neige 906 01:45:37,362 --> 01:45:39,778 ♪ Tu ne viendras pas ce soir 907 01:45:39,832 --> 01:45:42,186 Suggestions for:... 'sky'. 908 01:45:42,265 --> 01:45:45,128 ♪ Tombe la neige 909 01:45:46,315 --> 01:45:49,226 ♪ Et mon coeur s'habille de noir 910 01:45:51,141 --> 01:45:53,918 ♪ Ce soyeux cortège 911 01:45:55,630 --> 01:45:59,103 ♪ Tout en larmes blanches 912 01:46:00,155 --> 01:46:02,605 ♪ L'oiseau sur la branche 913 01:46:02,630 --> 01:46:03,880 Heh-heh! 914 01:46:04,225 --> 01:46:07,309 ♪ Pleure le sortilège 915 01:46:08,677 --> 01:46:11,943 ♪ Tu ne viendras pas ce soir 916 01:46:12,327 --> 01:46:13,820 That's my mother. 917 01:46:13,882 --> 01:46:17,587 ♪ Me crie mon désespoir - It's mama. 918 01:46:18,035 --> 01:46:19,459 It's my mother! 919 01:46:19,528 --> 01:46:23,110 -♪ Mais tombe la neige - Excellent choice, Goddess. 920 01:46:23,218 --> 01:46:26,720 ♪ Impassible manège 921 01:46:29,766 --> 01:46:33,558 ♪ Laaa, la-la-la, 922 01:46:34,229 --> 01:46:36,919 ♪ La-la-la, la-la. 923 01:46:36,928 --> 01:46:39,863 Today, like all other days, there's only good news. 924 01:46:39,948 --> 01:46:43,426 Despite global warming the ice caps have stopped melting. 925 01:46:57,098 --> 01:46:58,932 Gravity. 926 01:47:07,558 --> 01:47:09,768 Seabed. 927 01:47:17,485 --> 01:47:19,077 Vegetation. 928 01:47:32,833 --> 01:47:35,002 Cyclops. 929 01:47:39,381 --> 01:47:41,633 THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT 930 01:48:01,193 --> 01:48:04,196 - Did you feel it move? - Yes. 931 01:48:04,321 --> 01:48:06,032 Cheri ... 932 01:48:07,324 --> 01:48:09,035 the thing is... 933 01:48:10,369 --> 01:48:12,038 Now... 934 01:48:12,964 --> 01:48:15,800 Couldn't you, maybe, shave your legs? 935 01:48:18,127 --> 01:48:19,879 We'll see. 936 01:48:19,915 --> 01:48:25,337 [♪ The Cossaks- Red Army Chorus ] 937 01:48:33,267 --> 01:48:35,227 Goddamn, shit. 938 01:48:36,270 --> 01:48:41,233 ♪Subtitles translated by♪ XQ2☻♥ 939 01:54:22,942 --> 01:54:25,570 Hi, it's Kevin again. 70431

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