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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,666 shouldn't be doing this dex trust me it's gonna be over soon 2 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:55,500 is it 3 00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:02,066 hey 4 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,266 hey bill 5 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,333 my wife chat bill 6 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,766 dex you remember bill oh hey seminar 7 00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:14,366 see you would you excuse me for a second sure 8 00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:16,199 hey don't leave without saying goodbye 9 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,200 crisp 10 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,399 dex yeah 11 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,900 i almost didn't recognize you looks like you put on one or 12 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,133 two pounds one or two hundred 13 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:46,766 wow 14 00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:49,666 man i think it's 15 00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:52,966 wow it's cool that you became a priest 16 00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:54,866 dex do you mind 17 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,466 oh yeah sorry man you know 18 00:02:58,266 --> 00:03:00,499 i thought about being a praise maybe not catholic 19 00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:01,699 like psychopillion right 20 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,400 because they can have sex you know 21 00:03:03,866 --> 00:03:07,133 i'm really not comfortable talking here oh right 22 00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:08,733 no i just i mean i want to say that 23 00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:10,333 i just think it's cool that you get to 24 00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:12,899 you know hang out with god all day 25 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:18,566 i don't exactly hang out with god you know i teach i counsel 26 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,566 or put the homeless oh yeah 27 00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:23,766 absolutely i mean i just i think it's great that you do 28 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,000 god related activity all day long 29 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,533 thanks i find it really hard to believe that someone of your 30 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,933 moral perpetuity 31 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,000 would would ever consider being a priest no 32 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,466 actually i was accepted to divinity school 33 00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:42,333 really so what happened 34 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,466 what's like st augustine said you know 35 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:47,866 lord give me chastity and virtue but not just yet 36 00:03:48,766 --> 00:03:51,299 well i guess some people never change 37 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,200 they care 38 00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:01,733 oh my god i can't believe how much 39 00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:02,733 weight he skate 40 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:05,466 i can't believe he went out with him 41 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,366 hello he wasn't fat then 42 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:11,166 he could be really nice sometimes 43 00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:13,333 nice 44 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,066 you slept with him didn't you 45 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:18,900 i might have 46 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,100 i have a confession to make 47 00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:26,166 oh my god you're kidding 48 00:04:35,966 --> 00:04:37,066 hey what are you doing 49 00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:40,599 he's hiding from whom everyone 50 00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:45,499 oh hey maggie you were right no one noticed i came anyway 51 00:04:46,066 --> 00:04:48,799 come on tense you were the king here 52 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:53,066 you were elvis yeah well no i'm fat elvis 53 00:04:53,366 --> 00:04:54,566 hey babies go home 54 00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,666 yep you're welcome 55 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,900 hi hi 56 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:04,966 can i have a long island iced tea please sure 57 00:05:14,466 --> 00:05:18,499 all right i have to confess i don't know exactly what that is 58 00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:20,599 i'm not really a bartender 59 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,400 i'm actually a student here really 60 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,066 what are you saying a philosophy religion 61 00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:30,066 cool no problem because a long island iced tea okay 62 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,166 is like a survey course and world religions okay 63 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,566 we're starting with the far east no 64 00:05:34,566 --> 00:05:38,399 no no no we okay you get hinduism you get thouism 65 00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:40,933 you get a leaf buddhism confucianism 66 00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:42,733 it's okay we get zorastrianism 67 00:05:42,766 --> 00:05:43,099 did you know 68 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,333 that the zorastrian is considered dogs deep with men 69 00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:48,366 i know i do good answer okay 70 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,266 and then you get 71 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,533 islam and you get the sweet twins of judaeism and christianity 72 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:55,466 and then we come 73 00:05:55,766 --> 00:05:59,133 wela to the lone contribution of western civilization 74 00:05:59,466 --> 00:06:00,466 that coca cola 75 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,366 and bubble it all together 76 00:06:04,466 --> 00:06:06,666 hmm vala longana dusty 77 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,366 so does this type of thing 78 00:06:09,366 --> 00:06:11,466 usually work on young philosophy students 79 00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,466 i don't know did it work on you 80 00:06:25,766 --> 00:06:28,699 could only wish i'd make you rock harder 81 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:32,400 if i could only wish i'd make you rock harder 82 00:06:54,866 --> 00:06:56,366 哦哦 83 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:00,866 that was so great 84 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,366 oh hey wait what do you want 85 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,733 hey tex do you know sid sid the stack 86 00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,466 actually no we haven't met hey 87 00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:09,099 actually we have 88 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:12,333 really 89 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,333 oh yeah um 90 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:16,133 wait a minute 91 00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:21,166 we were in bennett kirkagar class 92 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,533 are you sure are you sure i was there really 93 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,366 god must have made a big impression on you no 94 00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:30,333 i just i never listened to anybody but myself 95 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:33,099 and that's it was just like did it man 96 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,100 yeah i actually think i remember that 97 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,466 hey jeremy 98 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,499 i was wondering if you'd be here just let's hope you'd be here 99 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,566 oh what's up in here do you guys know jeremy 100 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:47,499 maggie rick dex this is dex dex hey 101 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,100 jeremy 102 00:07:49,566 --> 00:07:51,599 just going hey i'm getting refresher and one thing 103 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,400 i'm so okay you guys 104 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,866 hi okay i'll see you guys later 105 00:08:04,566 --> 00:08:06,999 okay torture's over and we're going 106 00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:08,933 god 107 00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:15,133 what is so bad was it oh god you live to tell why did that come 108 00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:17,399 i'm gonna be here in the twenty fifth 109 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,700 i'm think i'm gonna camp out the fifth wait 110 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,333 you're not making it twenty five years 111 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,899 i'm gonna see you guys tomorrow okay 112 00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:26,533 dex 113 00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,599 jill hey 114 00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:30,766 hey hey what's up 115 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,566 tell me how you've been 116 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,166 i've been really good and really good have you been good 117 00:08:36,466 --> 00:08:37,366 so have you become 118 00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,699 a speaker of the house yet uh no actually 119 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,200 i'm a forensic anthropology 120 00:08:43,466 --> 00:08:44,266 yeah 121 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,200 too long 122 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,933 now we jump up and down 123 00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:16,799 chunky peanut butter too come on i take a lot of 124 00:09:17,466 --> 00:09:18,333 night 125 00:10:05,266 --> 00:10:07,866 whoa that's beautiful 126 00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:09,666 ah 127 00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:15,466 you cheat that like you kiss your mama very steve soft and sleep 128 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,600 hey bro come on your truck for a few days 129 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,933 it's happening in a motorcycle 130 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:20,966 and i just got like a broken and parked out there or something 131 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,400 hey when that happened 132 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,066 no man 133 00:10:23,066 --> 00:10:24,999 they said it was gonna take like ten years to get a new part 134 00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:27,933 so what can i borrow or not 135 00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:28,866 i don't know 136 00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:31,699 why not was sid stanley for a few weeks 137 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,200 we said she could use a truck 138 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:39,299 sid wait wait how am i supposed to get to work walk yeah 139 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:44,300 so dave i hear you got a honey lined up this weekend bro 140 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:47,966 i'm so full on amped about this shit man oh 141 00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:52,533 you're already dead in the water he's right you road kill me 142 00:10:52,966 --> 00:10:54,566 what are you guys talking about 143 00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:57,933 you wanna have sex with this woman definitely 144 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,999 okay then you're violating the first rule of being steve 145 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,166 you must learn to eliminate your desire it's buddhist 146 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:06,733 i think that dao was said at first 147 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,333 hey we're gonna have a seminar we're gonna play golf 148 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,499 okay just a short seminar in the elimination desire 149 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,600 okay if you're out with this girl and you're even 150 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:14,933 thinking about getting laid 151 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:17,099 you're finished cause women can smell an agenda 152 00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,733 like shit on a shoe wait a second are you saying 153 00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:23,366 i have a better chance of getting laid if i try not to get laid 154 00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,499 it's kind of like a zen cone 155 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,199 what's the zen COIN 156 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,666 oh no i'm serious what is zen COIN 157 00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,133 look at me look at me okay 158 00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:39,599 technically i shouldn't be getting late 159 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,500 but i do and do you know why dave 160 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,800 because when i'm hanging out with a woman 161 00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:46,399 that's all i'm doing is hanging out talking 162 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,200 listening 163 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,400 not seeing they're thinking about how to get in bed with her 164 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,500 and this completely confuses them because they're saying 165 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:53,533 wait a minute 166 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,900 i am so much better looking than this guy 167 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,533 isn't he attracted to me 168 00:11:57,866 --> 00:11:58,999 the basic principle 169 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,166 we pursue that which retreats from us it's from heidiger 170 00:12:03,566 --> 00:12:05,099 garacha mark said the same thing 171 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,100 act like a woman can't join your club 172 00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:09,299 and she'll do almost anything to get in 173 00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:24,366 you've got so many great books better to seduce you with what 174 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,533 all the better to deduce the truth with 175 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,900 those were great margaritas 176 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,733 my last date we had pizza and a six pack whoa 177 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,066 julie i don't know if i'd call this date 178 00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:42,899 really yeah 179 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,333 it's just dating so tricky 180 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,533 that's all i mean you're really 181 00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,733 cool and you have a great personality i just don't want to 182 00:12:48,966 --> 00:12:52,133 man i just don't want to mess up our friendship friendship 183 00:12:52,866 --> 00:12:55,866 we just met better safe than sorry 184 00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:07,566 hey 185 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:09,666 hey 186 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,266 what are you doing 187 00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:12,966 gluing 188 00:14:15,666 --> 00:14:16,499 okay 189 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,733 what are you gluing 190 00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:21,333 uh 191 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:25,599 i'm gonna have to go with cardboard okay 192 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,066 so like do the glue and cardboard together 193 00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:29,266 have a larger purpose 194 00:14:29,266 --> 00:14:31,366 do they need to have a larger purpose 195 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,700 maybe i need them to have a larger purpose 196 00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:37,566 okay then for you it's a model of a set i'm doing 197 00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:40,533 okay set of steak knive 198 00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:42,999 set of julie andrews plates on the bradford exchange 199 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,800 you know what 200 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:47,933 set as in stage job opera oh 201 00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:51,766 my god i get it you're the set designer for the opera hey 202 00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:52,899 you're good 203 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:56,099 oh you know what we've got to talk about the that truck 204 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,533 oh yeah actually um i made a schedule on my computer 205 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,266 oh well how marshall brady have you oh thank you 206 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,000 well i think i should get the car on tuesdays and thursdays 207 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,333 since you don't work those days 208 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:11,199 i do other things i'm sure you do anyway 209 00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,566 you got to work at seven forty five and get off at three correct 210 00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:15,699 i captain 211 00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:19,333 okay i go to work at eight and get up and four 212 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,666 so either you drop me off at seven thirty 213 00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:22,766 so you can get to school on time in 214 00:15:22,766 --> 00:15:24,399 which case i have to wait around for half an hour 215 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,700 or or you drop me off at seven forty five 216 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,900 meaning that i have to wait around for an hour in the afternoon 217 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:32,266 so i suggest we alternate every other day to be fair wait 218 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:35,266 we should really alternate every second day to be fair 219 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:36,566 because you only wait half an hour 220 00:15:36,566 --> 00:15:38,066 and i have to wait for a full hour 221 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:44,900 or every 222 00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:47,766 other days cool great 223 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,300 great now that that settles 224 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,900 oh hey i wanted to say 225 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,199 that i'm really sorry i didn't recognize you with the reunion 226 00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:05,399 don't worry about it 227 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,800 so when do you start like banging on the old skins 228 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,666 oh when i was nine 229 00:16:12,266 --> 00:16:16,133 i wanted to be one of josey and the pussycats josey and the who 230 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,400 oh my god you're kidding right 231 00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:22,733 joe 232 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:25,499 trick to you man 233 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:29,466 i had chosen the pussycat stickers on my lunchbox no way me too 234 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:33,299 hold on a second i bet you don't remember the buggaloos oh 235 00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:36,966 oh my god i'm sorry it's just that nobody i know 236 00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:37,766 remembers the buggaloos 237 00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,466 i love the buggaloos wait how can you not love 238 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,399 like a british rock band 239 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,366 consisting of four teenage bumblebees 240 00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:48,866 what's this well dex is looking us dinner 241 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,466 can i talk to you a second 242 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,866 i'm blanching the butter okay martha stewart when you're done 243 00:17:04,866 --> 00:17:06,566 someone please watch the butter for me 244 00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,666 mang on my mind 245 00:17:16,733 --> 00:17:19,266 but about it your life isn't complicated 246 00:17:19,266 --> 00:17:20,666 enough sleeping with a married woman now 247 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,566 you gotta start hitting on my wife's friend 248 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:23,700 i mean 249 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,966 she's staying at my house guy 250 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:29,066 come on man wait so this is about you and your comfort level 251 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:33,500 i like oh i'm sorry you're not you're not here to hit on cid 252 00:17:34,566 --> 00:17:36,766 dude i came over to make a schedule 253 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,599 all right look just 254 00:17:41,666 --> 00:17:45,199 just don't push steve on sid don't worry about it man 255 00:17:49,933 --> 00:17:50,799 but i think seriously 256 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,933 most people want to composite the opposite sex 257 00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:56,666 because like you gals aren't ever gonna find antonio banderas 258 00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:58,499 with the personality of fred mcmurray 259 00:17:58,533 --> 00:17:59,866 and i'm never gonna get raquel 260 00:17:59,866 --> 00:18:01,966 welch with the personality of lucille ball 261 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,466 what's wrong with just lucille ball 262 00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:06,199 what's wrong with just rico watch 263 00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,766 amen i mean my biggest furious okay 264 00:18:08,766 --> 00:18:11,066 i want to marry the woman that i really want to hang out with 265 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,733 and talk to my golden years 266 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:15,533 but i die in some fiery car crash when i'm forty 267 00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:18,333 and then i miss all those good years of having sex you know 268 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,599 so don't get married 269 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,266 barring some terrific advance of medical science 270 00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,766 that would allow you to splice 271 00:18:23,933 --> 00:18:25,699 lucille ball with raquel weld 272 00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,266 what do you look for in a woman 273 00:18:28,266 --> 00:18:29,533 uh low standards 274 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,133 ha ha ha well she left me thin oh 275 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:34,166 you wouldn't date a heavy woman no way 276 00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:37,566 i am a fattest i admit it and i'm the worst kind of fattest 277 00:18:37,566 --> 00:18:42,966 i'm a fat fattest scandalous look would you ever date a fat guy 278 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:44,700 sure i would 279 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:46,533 have you 280 00:18:50,733 --> 00:18:52,733 no i rest my case 281 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,200 ha 282 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,199 you know you've never been happening with any women you've dated 283 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,566 well that's male insanity syndrome you know 284 00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:02,399 that that is just you're with the woman and no matter how cool 285 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,066 she is 286 00:19:03,066 --> 00:19:05,499 you're always thinking maybe i could do a little bit better 287 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,100 or i could trade up somehow you know trade up 288 00:19:09,766 --> 00:19:12,399 hey don't look at me i think you're the sun 289 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,100 the moon and the stars dex is just bitter 290 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,300 because he's never been in love 291 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,500 i love my dog 292 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,266 very moving very happy for you jeremy 293 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,300 hey guys am i early no 294 00:19:24,366 --> 00:19:26,199 we should get going we're gonna be late 295 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:28,899 where you guys going 296 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,000 oh we're gonna go here 297 00:19:30,066 --> 00:19:32,399 friends of mine in a band anyway don't forget tomorrow 298 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,466 seven thirty pick up seven thirty sharp 299 00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,799 bye see you guys 300 00:19:40,766 --> 00:19:41,899 see you later bye 301 00:19:53,466 --> 00:19:54,266 hey 302 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,200 clearly i'm gonna need my own transportation i'm almost ready 303 00:19:58,900 --> 00:19:59,700 come on 304 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,100 oh guys 305 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,933 matt this is sid chris sid 306 00:20:09,466 --> 00:20:10,799 dave sid dave 307 00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,600 okay back in here i'm just gonna change real quick 308 00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:22,966 master 309 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,800 this is sin this is sin master you want the ball want the ball 310 00:20:26,866 --> 00:20:29,199 want the ball want the ball get the ball 311 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:55,133 would you describe this as a typical warning for you 312 00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:59,066 i don't know usually i spend this time cross training 313 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:07,400 so you smoke out for breakfast you work part time and you 314 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,266 have limited potential 315 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:13,133 no no no just the opposite i mean 316 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,866 you were the smartest guy in school 317 00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:17,199 oh yeah but now 318 00:21:17,866 --> 00:21:19,199 i don't know don't you ever 319 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,766 what don't i ever what 320 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:23,900 nothing's none of my business no 321 00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:26,000 really whatever what don't i ever what 322 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,266 don't you ever want to 323 00:21:29,933 --> 00:21:31,533 do more with your life 324 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:37,666 like climb a tree and learn a foreign language or i don't know 325 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:39,266 get a full time job 326 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,200 doing stuff is overrated 327 00:21:42,366 --> 00:21:43,599 like hitler he did a lot 328 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,300 but don't we all wish he would have just stayed home 329 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:46,933 and gotten stoned oh 330 00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:49,966 i see so your only options are to get stoned or commit genocide 331 00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:53,199 lotsa said the sage 332 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,133 because he does nothing never ruins anything 333 00:21:56,266 --> 00:21:58,866 ah that sounds like a life of a passion and excitement 334 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,300 buddha 335 00:22:00,933 --> 00:22:03,799 said passionlessness is the best approaches 336 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,500 and the pillsbury dough boy said eat me when you're ready 337 00:22:07,566 --> 00:22:08,366 did he really 338 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,333 i just wanted to see if you were listening 339 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:12,999 if you're giving me some bullshit slacker routine 340 00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:13,966 why is it okay 341 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,766 the good old fashioned american slacker 342 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,800 gets no respect for his detachment but hey 343 00:22:17,866 --> 00:22:19,566 the buddhist monk does somehow 344 00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,999 i don't think that your detachment is the same self willed 345 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,400 self disciplined attachment of the buddhist monk 346 00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:26,299 what do you think 347 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,166 what do you think you think all 348 00:22:27,166 --> 00:22:28,499 buddhist monks are like the dolly llama 349 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,366 i mean you don't think they're guys and they paul right 350 00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:31,599 we're like what should i do 351 00:22:31,666 --> 00:22:32,366 should i carry 352 00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:33,266 packs of heavy 353 00:22:33,266 --> 00:22:35,533 shit for westerners up to the top of the base camp amount of 354 00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,499 verse or should i just stay down here and cat men do 355 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:38,200 and maybe just 356 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,300 chant all day and check out chicks and pretend to be holy 357 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:41,800 i mean why 358 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,800 is everything cooler when it happens in the foreign country 359 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:51,300 why zach why because because period the face of the buddha 360 00:22:51,733 --> 00:22:52,733 the buddha belly 361 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 the buddha belly would you like to rub the belly 362 00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,766 no god don't ride okay 363 00:22:57,766 --> 00:23:00,499 okay so i'll pick you up around four thirty oh 364 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,900 uh you know what i have a ride today so don't worry about it 365 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:04,933 today's cool okay okay 366 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:35,566 do you wanna make love 367 00:23:40,566 --> 00:23:41,366 what's wrong 368 00:23:42,366 --> 00:23:43,366 not this 369 00:23:45,333 --> 00:23:46,566 it's um 370 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,066 sorry it's just that phrase what what phrase making love 371 00:23:51,366 --> 00:23:53,299 it just reminds me of that like 372 00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:56,366 incense that you buy at convenience stores 373 00:23:56,466 --> 00:23:58,933 like this airbrush couple you know 374 00:23:59,266 --> 00:24:00,599 i mean i'm sorry 375 00:24:03,533 --> 00:24:04,333 what 376 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,566 if i wasn't married would you 377 00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,333 still be with me 378 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,666 but you're married yes 379 00:24:10,666 --> 00:24:12,866 but let's out with single you're not single 380 00:24:12,966 --> 00:24:15,099 i've been thinking about leaving ed 381 00:24:16,533 --> 00:24:17,766 but i you know 382 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:21,599 i just don't get it man 383 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,166 i've been hanging out with girls my own life you think i 384 00:24:24,166 --> 00:24:25,166 understand them by now 385 00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:25,966 right 386 00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:30,866 your sisters don't count aha yeah very funny man 387 00:24:32,766 --> 00:24:35,099 i'm serious if you're hanging out with women as friends 388 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:37,300 and you're doing your research in the wrong library 389 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:40,266 what's wrong with being friends with women 390 00:24:40,466 --> 00:24:42,699 nothing but getting out of that category of friend 391 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,600 is harder than like getting out of alcatraz 392 00:24:45,533 --> 00:24:48,466 well hold on you told me not to be lustful 393 00:24:49,866 --> 00:24:50,666 yeah 394 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:54,800 it doesn't make any sense 395 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,333 i mean i'm not supposed to come on to a girl right 396 00:24:57,333 --> 00:24:59,199 but i'm not supposed to be your friend either 397 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,866 okay back up in this particular instance where you desireless 398 00:25:03,966 --> 00:25:06,866 man i tried but she was just so hot 399 00:25:08,866 --> 00:25:10,733 dude you didn't make a pass out or did you 400 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:11,800 what sort of you know 401 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,600 i sort of made it move you know 402 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,000 i put my hand over there or something you know 403 00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:17,466 you didn't what happened 404 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,699 she said she felt like it was too soon 405 00:25:21,066 --> 00:25:22,866 of course she did alright 406 00:25:23,066 --> 00:25:25,333 you've got to learn to hang out with a woman without groping her 407 00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:26,866 within the first ten minutes okay 408 00:25:26,866 --> 00:25:29,066 and this takes us to the second rule of being steve 409 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,200 all right you have to do something excellent in her presence 410 00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:34,566 thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness 411 00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:37,099 something excellent um 412 00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,766 yeah man you can't you know 413 00:25:38,766 --> 00:25:42,099 just say hey i'm dave i like smoking pot 414 00:25:42,133 --> 00:25:44,333 i like reading the sports page on the john 415 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:45,399 you want to have sex with me 416 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,866 okay okay so what if you're not excellent at anything well 417 00:25:47,866 --> 00:25:50,166 then you got a bigger problem picking up women come on 418 00:25:50,166 --> 00:25:51,533 man i'm serious dude 419 00:25:51,533 --> 00:25:52,466 i'm pretty serious 420 00:25:52,466 --> 00:25:53,699 too everybody's good at something 421 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,466 just figure out what your excellent had 422 00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:59,300 i'm an excellent camper 423 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,600 wonderful but you can't camp in front of a chick 424 00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:05,399 well what are you excellent at huh 425 00:26:10,933 --> 00:26:13,166 these cards these cards suck 426 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:15,500 but 427 00:26:18,100 --> 00:26:19,966 i'm gonna put in two crayons 428 00:26:25,866 --> 00:26:27,366 how you doing buddy huh 429 00:26:27,466 --> 00:26:29,499 you guess i'm up your sleeve pal 430 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,600 now what what now well 431 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,733 what now is that we just show everybody what we got 432 00:26:35,733 --> 00:26:38,966 and we see who wins okay hard to do 433 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,700 mmm that's good that's very good you got two pair uh huh 434 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,600 that's very good but i've got three kids 435 00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:52,400 crayons i win all the crayons oh 436 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:56,133 i win all the crayons i win all the crayons 437 00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:58,999 you know i hate people who gloat but haha 438 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,933 the winner i got your crayons and your crayon and your crayon 439 00:27:03,066 --> 00:27:06,366 there's a lady at the door where right there 440 00:27:07,066 --> 00:27:11,133 hi lady at the door hi lady at the door hi guys 441 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:12,766 do you want to play 442 00:27:12,866 --> 00:27:16,966 sure thanks well come on down bring your crayons 443 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,400 you sure you don't mind giving core your ride oh 444 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,733 god don't be silly 445 00:27:26,066 --> 00:27:28,933 actually i was thinking of going to baskin robins but 446 00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:30,866 you probably don't want to go 447 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,600 what baskin robins ice cream 448 00:27:38,066 --> 00:27:40,299 you know when your mom makes sloppy joes 449 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:42,200 and she puts all the sloppy stuff 450 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:43,333 in the middle of the brand 451 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:46,466 and it spills out everywhere i feel like the sloppy stuff 452 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,300 hey does anybody want a kiss 453 00:27:51,366 --> 00:27:53,099 an ice cream kiss 454 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,400 what's that let me show you 455 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:58,399 what see 456 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,666 now you can taste my ice cream and i can taste yours yeah 457 00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:04,600 cool 458 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,300 um 459 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:08,066 now i have a kiss 460 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:17,100 oh an ice cream kiss 461 00:28:25,300 --> 00:28:27,566 shoot i left some work at the oppo 462 00:28:27,566 --> 00:28:29,399 do you mind if we swing by so did they go 463 00:28:40,366 --> 00:28:41,999 wow it's pretty cool huh 464 00:28:43,133 --> 00:28:44,299 it's very cool 465 00:29:01,666 --> 00:29:03,099 i'm asking what the play 466 00:29:04,366 --> 00:29:05,533 who is this guy cortez 467 00:29:05,933 --> 00:29:08,066 uh that's don givani 468 00:29:11,066 --> 00:29:12,199 hence the opera 469 00:29:13,533 --> 00:29:15,699 did you know kirker guard was obsessed with don giovanni 470 00:29:15,933 --> 00:29:19,266 that makes sense really what does that make sense well 471 00:29:19,266 --> 00:29:22,866 okay because don giovanni was this seducer okay 472 00:29:22,866 --> 00:29:24,499 and kirker guard wrote a lot about seduction 473 00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:25,866 he wrote diary of a seducer 474 00:29:25,866 --> 00:29:28,733 and he wrote different essays on things 475 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:32,333 and he said that philosophy was i'm trying to sound smart now 476 00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:33,533 so just stop me 477 00:29:35,366 --> 00:29:36,199 you do that a lot 478 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,800 don't you yes i do and it usually works on weak minded women 479 00:29:38,966 --> 00:29:41,499 but clearly a superior intellect like yours isn't 480 00:29:42,266 --> 00:29:44,733 fall for it no okay 481 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,200 bye 482 00:29:50,533 --> 00:29:52,966 so what did kirkagard have to say about don giovanni 483 00:29:53,066 --> 00:29:54,266 he talked about faith 484 00:29:54,566 --> 00:29:56,499 in god and other people 485 00:29:57,966 --> 00:30:01,399 elaborate um you know about his fiance right 486 00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:02,999 regina also right 487 00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:05,766 he was afraid that once she got to really know him 488 00:30:05,766 --> 00:30:07,399 his whole dark side and everything 489 00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:08,966 that she wouldn't love him anymore 490 00:30:08,966 --> 00:30:10,899 and that's where faith comes in because you've got to say 491 00:30:10,966 --> 00:30:13,266 even though i'm afraid that this person is gonna hurt me 492 00:30:13,266 --> 00:30:14,733 i'm afraid i'm gonna get rejected 493 00:30:14,733 --> 00:30:17,066 i'm gonna make a leap of faith and love this person 494 00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:18,999 but he couldn't do that 495 00:30:19,266 --> 00:30:21,166 what does this have to do with don giovanni 496 00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:24,866 don giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid 497 00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:26,166 he wouldn't be loved by one 498 00:30:45,866 --> 00:30:47,999 okay here's a leap of faith for you 499 00:30:48,300 --> 00:30:49,466 do you want to go out sometime 500 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,133 my friends are having a pool party this weekend 501 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,200 um i don't think it's a good idea 502 00:30:59,533 --> 00:31:00,333 okay 503 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,933 okay right fine 504 00:31:58,566 --> 00:31:59,366 hey 505 00:32:00,066 --> 00:32:02,199 could you make sure carmen sees these 506 00:32:02,466 --> 00:32:05,966 sure what about the meeting with steve ramsey cancel 507 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:08,699 i'm going home good night 508 00:32:42,666 --> 00:32:43,699 are you hungry 509 00:33:06,766 --> 00:33:07,566 to him 510 00:33:27,900 --> 00:33:31,966 sorry sorry i'm late yeah yeah yeah yeah just pay in steve 511 00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:33,366 thanks steve 512 00:33:34,066 --> 00:33:36,499 alright thanks guy hey 513 00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,933 why does he always get a hey steve 514 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:39,599 and all i ever get is a hey guy 515 00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:41,466 what is this steve shit anyways 516 00:33:41,766 --> 00:33:43,599 nothing it's just you don't have to do what that stuff 517 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,866 i was telling you about picking up women oh who steve 518 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:49,533 steve man come on 519 00:33:49,533 --> 00:33:52,066 steve is the prototype of cool american male you know 520 00:33:52,066 --> 00:33:53,799 i'm talking about steve mcgarrett alright 521 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,133 steve uh austin 522 00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:56,499 steve mcqueen 523 00:33:56,766 --> 00:33:58,366 you know he's the man on his horse 524 00:33:58,366 --> 00:34:00,699 the guy alone like he has his own code of honor 525 00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:03,966 his own code of ethics his own rules of living man he never 526 00:34:04,133 --> 00:34:06,766 ever tries to impress the women but he always gets the girl 527 00:34:07,866 --> 00:34:09,733 so who's steve mcgarret 528 00:34:09,766 --> 00:34:10,699 are you joking 529 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,133 okay okay oh i five oh man okay i get it 530 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,566 who's steve austin 531 00:34:25,733 --> 00:34:27,766 ah ha oscar 532 00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:28,733 oscar and steve 533 00:34:29,166 --> 00:34:31,399 steve she's breaking up 534 00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:38,533 we can rebuild 535 00:34:39,266 --> 00:34:40,066 it 536 00:34:40,933 --> 00:34:43,899 oh yeah it's million dollar man okay 537 00:34:44,066 --> 00:34:45,533 but the ultimate steve 538 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,166 steve mcqueen oh steve mcqueen 539 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,500 dude the great escape man the great escape 540 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,100 you know the nazis are after when he's on the beamer 541 00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:56,366 he's like man and he looks up 542 00:34:56,366 --> 00:34:57,566 he comes up on the hill and he's like 543 00:34:57,566 --> 00:34:58,866 there's the big fans and that's 544 00:34:58,933 --> 00:34:59,933 please go come on 545 00:34:59,933 --> 00:35:00,866 do it to the opinion 546 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:04,066 so anybody whose name steve is a steve 547 00:35:04,466 --> 00:35:05,666 no steve's not a name 548 00:35:06,166 --> 00:35:09,533 steve is a state of mind it's a way of living you know 549 00:35:09,533 --> 00:35:12,733 i'm saying like james bond is a steve man 550 00:35:13,533 --> 00:35:15,299 spider man is it steve 551 00:35:15,533 --> 00:35:17,999 michael jordan is this steve touche 552 00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:21,400 all right all right okay so if i'm not a steve then what am i 553 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,400 you're a 554 00:35:24,533 --> 00:35:26,766 you're a you're a stew 555 00:35:29,666 --> 00:35:30,799 what's a stew 556 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,266 no come on what's a stew 557 00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:34,733 don't look at me man 558 00:35:35,866 --> 00:35:37,499 it's the opposite of steve 559 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,166 see dex doesn't want to insult you 560 00:35:39,166 --> 00:35:40,899 we just can't help it just think 561 00:35:40,966 --> 00:35:42,766 barney five gomer pile 562 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:44,533 jug head 563 00:35:46,133 --> 00:35:48,299 wait i'm the opposite of everything that's cool 564 00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:50,466 don't take it personally 565 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:51,866 no fuck you man 566 00:35:51,866 --> 00:35:53,399 you guys are all steve and i'm going 567 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,500 where fucking pile man fuck that screw you guys 568 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,300 screw you off come on 569 00:36:00,733 --> 00:36:01,533 dave 570 00:36:03,966 --> 00:36:04,766 you'll be alright 571 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:21,600 hmm 572 00:36:22,966 --> 00:36:24,566 was that piece of shit right there 573 00:36:26,766 --> 00:36:29,466 sid's under the impression it's a motorcycle 574 00:36:31,566 --> 00:36:33,399 does it run no 575 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:36,000 but she still thinks she's gonna ride it to work 576 00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:40,266 wait a minute she'd rather ride that than deal with me 577 00:36:40,733 --> 00:36:42,599 that guy who was she sick of being late 578 00:36:44,466 --> 00:36:46,366 hey do we have any plans friday 579 00:36:46,766 --> 00:36:49,799 no why cause sid just invited us to her opening night 580 00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:54,133 no offense but 581 00:36:55,066 --> 00:36:58,566 guys guys don't you opera jeremy's going 582 00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:02,133 have you ever noticed how in the beginning of a relationship 583 00:37:02,133 --> 00:37:05,133 right a guy will do just about anything with his girlfriend 584 00:37:05,133 --> 00:37:07,899 because just the thought of seeing her naked gets him excited 585 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:09,466 about going to the opera 586 00:37:09,766 --> 00:37:13,466 okay a he's not my boyfriend and b maybe he likes alpha 587 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,366 okay i'm gonna tell you two things okay 588 00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:19,066 a he is and b he doesn't okay 589 00:37:19,066 --> 00:37:21,299 let me tell you two what should i stop flirting oh 590 00:37:21,466 --> 00:37:23,299 what are you talking about learning 591 00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:23,666 yeah 592 00:37:23,666 --> 00:37:26,066 you know this is really great and everything but we gotta go 593 00:37:26,066 --> 00:37:30,533 okay yeah whatever fine forever are we gonna do any work 594 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:38,400 hey 595 00:37:39,566 --> 00:37:41,166 this came for you this morning 596 00:37:41,333 --> 00:37:44,299 i think it's your im populator or something oh hey 597 00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,333 all right yeah hey 598 00:37:47,333 --> 00:37:50,466 look i wanted to say i'm sorry about that whole stew thing oh 599 00:37:50,466 --> 00:37:51,766 don't even worry about it man 600 00:37:52,933 --> 00:37:54,599 i'm feeling pretty steve today 601 00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:58,966 really yeah did i had the best date of my life last night dude i 602 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,566 i think i'm in love 603 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,566 dude i hope you didn't tell her that no no 604 00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:07,699 dude there's a certain order you're supposed to do things 605 00:38:07,700 --> 00:38:09,933 and in time someone you love them is definitely last 606 00:38:09,933 --> 00:38:10,766 in that order 607 00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:12,499 what are you supposed to tell him 608 00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:14,866 maybe you're fortieth wedding anniversary or something 609 00:38:14,866 --> 00:38:15,999 i don't see a problem 610 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000 i'm gonna tell you this one last time and maybe 611 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,566 you should tattoo it on your dick 612 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,666 so that you don't forget okay 613 00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:24,699 we pursue that which retreats from us 614 00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:28,333 i just don't get the whole retreating thing you know 615 00:38:28,333 --> 00:38:30,199 look chicks are like hunters man they want a bag 616 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,566 a line or a bear something really hard to catch 617 00:38:32,666 --> 00:38:34,399 and it long comes day you know 618 00:38:34,466 --> 00:38:36,933 and you're like this affectionate little puppy you're cute 619 00:38:36,933 --> 00:38:38,333 but you're way too easy to catch 620 00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,933 and that bores them and with chicks 621 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,766 boredom equals death man you can't bore them 622 00:38:42,933 --> 00:38:46,099 so now i'm boring no no dogs okay 623 00:38:46,100 --> 00:38:48,600 they don't chase a rock that's just sitting on the ground 624 00:38:48,666 --> 00:38:50,399 maybe some dogs do no 625 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:51,533 they like chasing rabbits 626 00:38:51,533 --> 00:38:52,933 that aren't even out of bushes you know what 627 00:38:52,933 --> 00:38:56,299 i mean oh so now i'm supposed to be like a bunny no 628 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,533 no you're supposed to be the thing that retreats okay 629 00:38:58,533 --> 00:38:59,733 and that takes us to 630 00:38:59,933 --> 00:39:03,199 part three of the dao of steve okay alright 631 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,900 after you've eliminated your desire 632 00:39:04,966 --> 00:39:06,999 and after you've been excellent in her presence 633 00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:10,266 then you must retreat okay 634 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,566 that's just too complicated look man it 635 00:39:13,666 --> 00:39:14,699 for great looking guys 636 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,266 they got no problem they can just slide by on their appearance 637 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,400 but for guys like us man okay 638 00:39:19,866 --> 00:39:20,933 like successful 639 00:39:20,933 --> 00:39:23,766 hooking up with the ladies requires a little work 640 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,266 and a lot of intelligence 641 00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:26,500 all right 642 00:39:27,266 --> 00:39:28,333 thanks for this thing man 643 00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:29,933 can you come in handy 644 00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:07,300 sorry 645 00:40:07,966 --> 00:40:09,899 when's your stupid motorcycle gonna be thick 646 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:11,966 when the stupid part gets here okay 647 00:40:20,333 --> 00:40:24,066 i'm a ferry can you put ferry sprinkles in my hair are you sure 648 00:40:24,066 --> 00:40:24,933 you're a ferry 649 00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:29,266 okay these are very powerful sprinkles i made that myself okay 650 00:40:35,733 --> 00:40:36,533 ok 651 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,066 hey do you have any glue we could borrow 652 00:40:44,266 --> 00:40:46,866 oh uh sure yeah 653 00:40:50,166 --> 00:40:51,933 here you go so what are you gonna do this weekend 654 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,900 oh i was um this friend of mine 655 00:40:54,900 --> 00:40:56,366 he's house sitting at this big house 656 00:40:56,366 --> 00:40:58,266 it's got this cool pool and views 657 00:40:58,266 --> 00:41:00,799 and we're gonna have like a pool party barbecue thing 658 00:41:01,133 --> 00:41:01,999 really yeah 659 00:41:43,933 --> 00:41:47,499 look men try and achieve success for one reason to impress women 660 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:49,766 right i mean that's the only reason that they build companies 661 00:41:49,900 --> 00:41:51,066 or they write books 662 00:41:51,066 --> 00:41:53,533 or they compete in the sports and stuff i mean and the problem 663 00:41:53,533 --> 00:41:55,266 is in life is that if you figured out 664 00:41:55,266 --> 00:41:57,333 how you can get laid without achieving anything 665 00:41:57,500 --> 00:41:59,200 then you can lose your motivation all together 666 00:41:59,533 --> 00:42:01,166 so there's no reason to get off the couch 667 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:03,400 do you want a drink 668 00:42:36,533 --> 00:42:40,399 like steve mcqueen when you're driving in your car 669 00:42:43,866 --> 00:42:48,166 your dreams spawn when you're smoking yours again it's so 670 00:42:56,933 --> 00:43:02,399 you was a commercial spot on the tv screen 671 00:43:03,566 --> 00:43:05,099 movie star war 672 00:43:05,733 --> 00:43:09,866 you think you are a movie movie star 673 00:43:10,133 --> 00:43:12,799 movie star war you think 674 00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:23,666 couldn't resist my powerful penetrating stare could you no 675 00:43:23,666 --> 00:43:24,599 i wanted to tell you 676 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,733 you got a huge glove of guacamole on your shirt 677 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:32,166 i wouldn't want you to make a bad impression on your date 678 00:43:32,966 --> 00:43:33,799 she's um 679 00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:41,666 hi there huh 680 00:43:42,266 --> 00:43:42,933 sorry took so long 681 00:43:42,933 --> 00:43:44,199 i'm ready to this friend of mine and 682 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:45,533 she was really depressed and 683 00:43:45,966 --> 00:43:47,699 oh is she okay uh 684 00:43:48,366 --> 00:43:51,333 you know she will be or whatever but 685 00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:52,133 the thing was 686 00:43:52,133 --> 00:43:53,799 i was going through depression a long time ago and 687 00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:58,099 she was really there for me so i just figured i'd pay back time 688 00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:00,666 and i was like a car may thing did you wanna go talk to her 689 00:44:00,966 --> 00:44:03,999 no no i just i wanted to find you i'm here with you and 690 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,200 you don't know anybody here this is i'll be fine 691 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,866 you should go talk to your friend 692 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:25,400 uh who's this guy 693 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,166 it's a she oh scott or hey girl 694 00:44:31,166 --> 00:44:34,299 oh hi girl who are you 695 00:44:35,266 --> 00:44:39,733 oh my god no what a little blissy oh 696 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:41,700 yeah sure 697 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:44,266 do you guys have no each other 698 00:44:44,366 --> 00:44:45,333 no hi 699 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,300 i'm sad hi said beth 700 00:44:49,766 --> 00:44:53,199 hey i was looking for you guys hey 701 00:44:54,933 --> 00:44:55,799 hey doug 702 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,333 i got some friends here from work i'd like you to meet all right 703 00:45:02,566 --> 00:45:03,666 take care all right nice 704 00:45:04,166 --> 00:45:07,999 to meet you give you around for a while sure bye 705 00:45:14,966 --> 00:45:16,699 so are you gonna go swimming 706 00:45:18,066 --> 00:45:23,566 huh oh no no i mean i'm a non swimming non naked kinda guy 707 00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:26,133 hey man say no to nudity that's my motto 708 00:45:26,366 --> 00:45:29,266 really yeah cause i would've picked you for like a naked person 709 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,600 definitely not a naked person kidding i don't even let my cats 710 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,400 do me naked 711 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,066 really that's weird 712 00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:50,733 oh that's glitter from school we were doing collages 713 00:45:50,733 --> 00:45:51,533 yesterday 714 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,366 with feathers and 715 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:55,000 blue and 716 00:46:03,100 --> 00:46:07,266 so i thought there's no way she's here today so 717 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:09,866 i was gonna swing by you know but 718 00:46:16,300 --> 00:46:17,100 so 719 00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:18,766 where's your friend 720 00:46:20,533 --> 00:46:22,966 oh yeah well 721 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,333 i think i told her that you were really depressed 722 00:46:25,666 --> 00:46:26,933 why would you do that 723 00:46:27,566 --> 00:46:30,099 so i could come and talk to you oh my god 724 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,133 would you ever just tell the truth oh 725 00:46:33,133 --> 00:46:34,199 would it make me a better person 726 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,466 if i was to say to her you know 727 00:46:35,466 --> 00:46:37,066 i'd really like to blow you off because there's a woman here 728 00:46:37,066 --> 00:46:38,066 i'm falling in love way i think 729 00:46:38,066 --> 00:46:39,133 you just find your own right home 730 00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:41,566 and wait what did you just say 731 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:45,299 why don't you just find your own way home no the other thing 732 00:46:46,533 --> 00:46:47,999 they're falling in love with you 733 00:46:48,366 --> 00:46:52,199 you are not i am too are not i am too are not 734 00:46:52,466 --> 00:46:54,499 i am too okay 735 00:46:54,733 --> 00:46:56,733 so if you're falling in love with me 736 00:46:56,733 --> 00:46:58,299 why are you with all these other women 737 00:46:58,566 --> 00:46:59,366 oh come on 738 00:47:00,466 --> 00:47:01,899 am i supposed to remain celibate 739 00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:04,966 while i bask in like the warm glow of your annihilating contempt 740 00:47:05,133 --> 00:47:08,199 am i supposed to find solace in that you know no 741 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,500 you're right forget it that was stupid just forget it 742 00:47:12,066 --> 00:47:13,933 what are you are you mad 743 00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:20,866 said come on 744 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:22,666 you're joking 745 00:47:24,666 --> 00:47:25,899 why are you mad at me 746 00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:29,300 i'm not mad well you sure seem pissed 747 00:47:29,933 --> 00:47:33,366 come on i'm not mad wait a minute 748 00:47:34,133 --> 00:47:34,766 are you pissed off 749 00:47:34,766 --> 00:47:37,566 because i didn't recognize you with the reunion no 750 00:47:38,133 --> 00:47:38,933 okay 751 00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:42,000 was i like a jerk to one of your friends in college 752 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:42,866 no 753 00:47:43,500 --> 00:47:45,000 was i addict to you in college 754 00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:49,666 not exactly what did we like sleep together and 755 00:47:54,966 --> 00:47:55,766 no 756 00:47:57,700 --> 00:48:00,200 no way there's no way i would have remembered that 757 00:48:03,100 --> 00:48:04,066 but you didn't 758 00:48:08,566 --> 00:48:09,866 pretty romantic isn't it 759 00:48:10,466 --> 00:48:12,099 sid i'm sorry if i hurt you 760 00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:15,366 but i mean for most of college i was so drunk or stoned 761 00:48:15,366 --> 00:48:16,799 i don't even remember half of what happened 762 00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,800 i know that's not really a good excuse 763 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,200 but look at me now i'm a fat fucking pig 764 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,566 and the guy that did that to you was a skinny arrogant prick 765 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,466 just give me one more chance 766 00:48:31,666 --> 00:48:33,066 you should go back to your date 767 00:49:04,533 --> 00:49:05,333 what 768 00:49:16,933 --> 00:49:18,533 stop looking at me like that 769 00:49:20,766 --> 00:49:22,966 you're acting like a codependent girlfriend 770 00:49:35,933 --> 00:49:37,333 right that's the last time 771 00:49:52,666 --> 00:49:53,466 what's up 772 00:49:54,566 --> 00:49:56,866 i just wanted to tell you that i'm not gonna do your stupid 773 00:49:57,100 --> 00:49:58,733 dow of steve thing anymore 774 00:49:59,566 --> 00:50:00,366 okay 775 00:50:01,900 --> 00:50:03,333 just that it's you know it's 776 00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:08,466 it's bony dishonest and it's not me you know oh really 777 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:09,133 you think 778 00:50:09,133 --> 00:50:11,066 it's more honest to pretend to listen to a woman 779 00:50:11,066 --> 00:50:12,566 when you're just thinking about getting laid 780 00:50:12,566 --> 00:50:14,299 i i think it's more honest than 781 00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:16,133 pretending i don't want to get laid you know 782 00:50:16,133 --> 00:50:17,133 that's the whole point 783 00:50:17,133 --> 00:50:20,366 don't pretend man just really let go of your desire 784 00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:22,466 okay look 785 00:50:23,266 --> 00:50:26,533 if i like a woman i'm not gonna pretend that i don't like her 786 00:50:26,566 --> 00:50:27,366 i'm not gonna 787 00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:28,700 pretend to be 788 00:50:28,933 --> 00:50:31,866 excellent i'm not gonna pretend to retreat 789 00:50:31,966 --> 00:50:33,199 i'm just gonna be me 790 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,900 you know i'm just gonna go in there and be honest 791 00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:35,733 and i'm gonna be me 792 00:50:35,733 --> 00:50:37,899 that's exactly what i want you to be i want you to be honest 793 00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:38,733 i want you to be you 794 00:50:38,733 --> 00:50:40,366 but i want you to be the real you 795 00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:44,066 you are so full of it man not so said 796 00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:47,466 okay when the foolish man hears of the doubt you know he does 797 00:50:47,533 --> 00:50:49,733 what's that man he laughs out loud 798 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,800 i swear you just make this stuff up as you go along right 799 00:50:54,933 --> 00:50:56,866 okay okay so you didn't make it up 800 00:50:57,766 --> 00:50:59,366 you know what man you should read these 801 00:50:59,700 --> 00:51:01,133 now you're gonna give me homework 802 00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:02,933 no i'm trying to share knowledge 803 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,766 look i really appreciate your help 804 00:51:05,766 --> 00:51:07,799 it's just this is all a little too hard 805 00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,200 okay what is too hard 806 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,266 okay not coming on to women 807 00:51:11,266 --> 00:51:12,933 all right trying to be an excellent human being 808 00:51:12,966 --> 00:51:15,199 the buddha all right he left his family 809 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,300 his fortune his place in society i mean this guy was set 810 00:51:18,300 --> 00:51:21,266 and he wandered down the road of enlightenment that's hard 811 00:51:22,933 --> 00:51:24,666 i'm not looking for enlightenment dex 812 00:51:24,666 --> 00:51:26,666 i'm looking for a girlfriend that's it 813 00:51:27,166 --> 00:51:28,366 it's all connected 814 00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,666 i know what you're trying to do 815 00:52:16,466 --> 00:52:17,466 what are you talking about 816 00:52:17,766 --> 00:52:21,099 just because you fixed my bike i'm not gonna go out with you hey 817 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,700 i just wanted to say that i was sorry 818 00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:25,400 are you sure that's all you wanted 819 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:27,800 you know this is 820 00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:32,133 let's forget about it okay just forget about the whole thing 821 00:52:32,966 --> 00:52:34,899 yeah i guess forgetting is what you're good at 822 00:52:39,500 --> 00:52:41,933 oh my god i just hurt your feelings no 823 00:52:41,933 --> 00:52:42,999 you didn't i mean apparently 824 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,966 i don't have feelings so how could they be hurt 825 00:52:44,966 --> 00:52:45,733 i'm sorry 826 00:52:45,733 --> 00:52:48,766 i just assume everything you do has an ulterior motive oh 827 00:52:48,766 --> 00:52:51,666 that that that makes me feel really good okay 828 00:52:52,066 --> 00:52:54,933 uh i'm sorry that was terrible i 829 00:52:56,300 --> 00:52:57,900 look thank you for fixing my leg 830 00:52:58,266 --> 00:52:59,066 you're welcome 831 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:00,200 you're welcome 832 00:53:15,166 --> 00:53:16,866 hey we're going camping tomorrow 833 00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:19,066 i don't suppose that you want to come 834 00:53:25,566 --> 00:53:27,266 i'll be walking yeah 835 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,700 can you climb me i know 836 00:53:33,966 --> 00:53:36,066 outdoors shut the fuck up 837 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:37,900 are you sure you want to do this 838 00:53:38,466 --> 00:53:39,266 yeah 839 00:53:40,133 --> 00:53:42,099 i love camping always 840 00:53:48,066 --> 00:53:50,933 and i never step put inside 841 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:54,900 it will finally 842 00:54:25,066 --> 00:54:26,066 are you okay 843 00:54:26,900 --> 00:54:29,466 yeah yeah i just stopped to 844 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,266 check out this conference 845 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,400 just as well i'm not invited i'm 846 00:55:02,366 --> 00:55:03,999 so what's the deal with you and that 847 00:55:05,900 --> 00:55:08,133 no deal you know we're just friends 848 00:55:09,266 --> 00:55:10,899 i thought i sent something 849 00:55:11,966 --> 00:55:12,933 as a party 850 00:55:14,066 --> 00:55:16,333 oh no she was tense because 851 00:55:17,266 --> 00:55:19,166 she got that puppy and 852 00:55:20,700 --> 00:55:22,333 she went to the pound and got this puppy 853 00:55:22,333 --> 00:55:24,066 and it's not a dog person and you know 854 00:55:24,066 --> 00:55:25,299 women like to save things 855 00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:27,066 men like to draw boundaries and 856 00:55:27,500 --> 00:55:28,866 you know it's like molly brown 857 00:55:28,866 --> 00:55:31,499 the titanic you know she was saying more people more people 858 00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,133 but the boat guy was like no 859 00:55:33,533 --> 00:55:36,366 you know it's just like puppies you know 860 00:55:47,666 --> 00:55:49,366 i was just totally lying back there 861 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,500 both guys do you like puppies well 862 00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:52,800 i mean i'm sure some do but 863 00:55:53,066 --> 00:55:55,099 about me and beth just being friends 864 00:55:55,766 --> 00:55:59,766 you know it i can't believe you saw me all that puppy bullshit 865 00:56:00,100 --> 00:56:03,600 yeah but i just admitted i was lying you want points for that 866 00:56:04,133 --> 00:56:05,966 besides isn't she married well 867 00:56:05,966 --> 00:56:08,566 yeah but depends on your definition of married 868 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:10,400 you know 869 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,666 i don't have a lot of hang ups but venagamy is one of them 870 00:56:23,366 --> 00:56:24,333 hey you know 871 00:56:25,066 --> 00:56:26,999 do you think we ought to leave a trail of red crumbs 872 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,500 that'll be fine max 873 00:56:45,266 --> 00:56:46,733 what took you so long 874 00:57:30,500 --> 00:57:32,300 i feel so at home in nature 875 00:57:34,900 --> 00:57:36,200 never again 876 00:57:49,733 --> 00:57:50,699 do you guys ever worry 877 00:57:50,700 --> 00:57:54,300 your marriage is an obstacle to your reaching enlightenment 878 00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:57,933 do you ever wonder 879 00:57:57,933 --> 00:58:00,933 if your philosophy is an obstacle to having a life 880 00:58:01,366 --> 00:58:04,499 seriously man because romantic love for a lot of people becomes 881 00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:05,866 kind of a religion 882 00:58:06,266 --> 00:58:07,899 you know face it most people 883 00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:09,666 feel that their personal relationships are 884 00:58:09,666 --> 00:58:11,366 more important than their relationship with god 885 00:58:11,366 --> 00:58:12,933 and we should just admit that romantic 886 00:58:12,933 --> 00:58:14,266 love is our national religion 887 00:58:14,266 --> 00:58:15,699 it's like the state religion 888 00:58:15,766 --> 00:58:18,999 of america let me take you guys for example okay 889 00:58:19,866 --> 00:58:21,366 okay no judgment but 890 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:25,166 like what's more important to you your relationship with god 891 00:58:25,166 --> 00:58:26,166 or with each other 892 00:58:30,666 --> 00:58:31,266 seriously 893 00:58:31,266 --> 00:58:34,699 i mean think about god right now who is snuggling up with god 894 00:58:35,166 --> 00:58:36,566 who does he partner with 895 00:58:36,900 --> 00:58:38,933 who is putting their head on his shoulder 896 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,300 i i think he's like the loneliest dude in the universe 897 00:58:42,300 --> 00:58:43,900 why would god be lonely millions of people 898 00:58:43,900 --> 00:58:45,000 predict got all the time 899 00:58:45,366 --> 00:58:47,699 that's other gratitude or grobling you know like hey 900 00:58:47,700 --> 00:58:50,066 god could you help me win the lotto or god 901 00:58:50,066 --> 00:58:51,466 if you get me out of this situation 902 00:58:51,466 --> 00:58:55,499 man i'll go to church forever you know no one ever says hey 903 00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,333 god how was your day 904 00:58:57,366 --> 00:58:59,299 what can i do for you god 905 00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:02,099 or hey god did you cash letterman last night oh 906 00:59:02,100 --> 00:59:05,600 and i suppose you talk to god like that always all the time 907 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:06,933 what does god say 908 00:59:06,933 --> 00:59:09,499 he said you know what i saw letterman and it sucked 909 00:59:22,533 --> 00:59:23,699 goodnight rack 910 00:59:26,066 --> 00:59:27,499 goodnight ducks 911 00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:30,666 good night maggie 912 00:59:32,100 --> 00:59:33,866 good night john boy 913 00:59:35,466 --> 00:59:39,799 good night sid oh my god do you ever stop talking 914 01:00:12,266 --> 01:00:13,199 oh damn it 915 01:00:13,866 --> 01:00:14,933 it was a spider 916 01:00:15,466 --> 01:00:16,399 there was a big 917 01:00:17,066 --> 01:00:19,599 sweater it was a big hairy spider 918 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,333 my tent oh 919 01:00:30,733 --> 01:00:31,766 what are you looking at 920 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:36,866 no no way 921 01:00:44,700 --> 01:00:48,400 if any part of you touches any part of me i have a knife 922 01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:50,300 listen 923 01:00:50,300 --> 01:00:53,133 okay apparently we've been in this position before so we might 924 01:00:53,666 --> 01:00:55,966 you cannot talk about that thing 925 01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,800 that you have no memory of okay okay okay 926 01:01:00,066 --> 01:01:02,766 message received zero distortion 927 01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:12,733 so this is camping 928 01:01:12,766 --> 01:01:13,699 hey i'm trying 929 01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:15,133 to pretend that you're not here 930 01:01:15,300 --> 01:01:18,133 why are you so mad you lied about the spider 931 01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:20,466 you lied about the puppy thing and you're having an affair 932 01:01:20,466 --> 01:01:22,466 i did not lie about the spider did too 933 01:01:22,466 --> 01:01:24,533 i did not i did not 934 01:01:25,866 --> 01:01:27,899 oh you couldn't think of a better lie 935 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,666 why in the world would i lie about a spider 936 01:01:30,933 --> 01:01:34,999 you lied about the spider so you could get in my tent so 937 01:01:35,766 --> 01:01:38,799 so what so you could 938 01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:41,200 they'll make a move vomit 939 01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:46,799 you're such a self aggrandizing solar 940 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,366 cystic ego quaint you don't even know you're 941 01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:50,966 just a cystic 942 01:01:52,066 --> 01:01:54,999 i'm well certainly done i thought that worried i did too 943 01:01:58,200 --> 01:01:59,366 don't even think about it 944 01:02:24,466 --> 01:02:25,266 thanks 945 01:02:38,566 --> 01:02:40,599 are you okay yeah 946 01:02:41,066 --> 01:02:43,366 yeah i'm alright i think sure all right yeah 947 01:02:43,766 --> 01:02:45,266 yeah i'm okay 948 01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,733 all right yeah wait oh 949 01:02:49,966 --> 01:02:52,733 i think i'm happy no more attack is this a trick 950 01:02:53,566 --> 01:02:55,933 trick yeah like the spider in your town 951 01:02:57,133 --> 01:02:58,966 there was a spider in my tent 952 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:03,800 maggie 953 01:03:09,566 --> 01:03:13,333 okay you didn't have a heart attack good 954 01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:18,199 but you do suffer from gastrosophageal reflux disease 955 01:03:19,266 --> 01:03:20,066 whoa 956 01:03:20,533 --> 01:03:23,099 otherwise known as heartburn 957 01:03:24,533 --> 01:03:25,599 that's it oh 958 01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,133 that's cool so i could just you know changing 959 01:03:28,133 --> 01:03:30,599 no no no no it's not cool it's not great 960 01:03:31,566 --> 01:03:35,066 why do i have a tumor or something no you don't have a tumor 961 01:03:35,700 --> 01:03:36,900 but you're obese 962 01:03:37,133 --> 01:03:38,933 it's a very serious risk factor for high 963 01:03:38,933 --> 01:03:41,666 blood pressure heart disease diabetes well 964 01:03:41,666 --> 01:03:44,199 please be candid you smoke 965 01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:46,066 uh you know i'll have 966 01:03:46,066 --> 01:03:50,266 the occasional packaday or so yeah these are serious problems 967 01:03:50,533 --> 01:03:53,366 you've got to quit smoking you've got to go on a diet 968 01:03:53,966 --> 01:03:55,499 oh well that's easy look 969 01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:58,066 i didn't say that changing your life would be easy 970 01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:00,400 but your life does depend upon it 971 01:04:04,333 --> 01:04:05,133 thank you 972 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:17,100 guy you're not gonna lose weight eating peanut butter 973 01:04:17,100 --> 01:04:19,666 sandwiches if you're talking about its whole wheat bread 974 01:04:19,733 --> 01:04:21,133 it's peanut butter 975 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,933 i lost twenty five pounds on my pizza diet 976 01:04:23,933 --> 01:04:25,299 this is gonna be much easier 977 01:04:25,366 --> 01:04:27,066 why more protein 978 01:04:28,866 --> 01:04:31,466 it's almost as ridiculous as your sleeping diet 979 01:04:31,700 --> 01:04:34,800 that time i lost thirty pounds it also lost your job 980 01:04:35,066 --> 01:04:36,399 the diet work or not 981 01:04:38,866 --> 01:04:39,733 hey beth 982 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:42,500 yeah yeah i'm good 983 01:04:44,066 --> 01:04:44,999 hey let's not 984 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,966 i don't think it's a good idea that we see each other anymore 985 01:04:51,466 --> 01:04:54,966 just just tell me why hello you're married okay 986 01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:55,866 you are married 987 01:04:55,866 --> 01:04:57,599 and i just want to have a relationship with the first time 988 01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:58,533 dating is dating 989 01:04:58,533 --> 01:04:59,533 me just for me 990 01:04:59,533 --> 01:05:01,766 and there's no marriage involved in neither of us 991 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:03,800 married that's all you're right you're right 992 01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:07,200 absolutely right this is all wrong right yeah 993 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,966 uh can you slow down a little please ha 994 01:05:10,133 --> 01:05:10,966 if i left ed 995 01:05:11,966 --> 01:05:13,533 you could have a normal relationship 996 01:05:13,533 --> 01:05:16,766 we could never have a normal relationship beth why not 997 01:05:18,700 --> 01:05:20,900 sid isn't it sid who 998 01:05:21,933 --> 01:05:22,933 go to hell 999 01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:28,866 does this side have an airbag 1000 01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:36,566 asshole 1001 01:05:40,366 --> 01:05:41,166 don't ask 1002 01:05:57,933 --> 01:05:58,733 hey guys 1003 01:05:58,866 --> 01:06:01,466 i'm going out with that chipper kinkles for drinks that i have 1004 01:06:01,466 --> 01:06:01,966 had it and 1005 01:06:01,966 --> 01:06:05,133 i know i know i've got to not have sex with her no 1006 01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:07,399 no man you got to not want to have sex with her 1007 01:06:07,466 --> 01:06:08,566 having sex with her 1008 01:06:08,900 --> 01:06:10,100 the whole point okay 1009 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:13,199 i've got to not want to have sex with her right right 1010 01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,300 right remember okay 1011 01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:15,400 both men and women 1012 01:06:15,533 --> 01:06:17,266 want to have sex it's natural except 1013 01:06:17,266 --> 01:06:19,299 we're on different time tables women want to have sex 1014 01:06:19,300 --> 01:06:22,133 like you know fifteen minutes after us so 1015 01:06:22,333 --> 01:06:23,899 alright if you hold out for twenty 1016 01:06:23,900 --> 01:06:25,533 she'll be chasing you for five 1017 01:06:25,666 --> 01:06:27,566 i don't know if i can hold out for that long 1018 01:06:29,766 --> 01:06:32,099 you got to ask yourself man do you want to be a stew 1019 01:06:32,366 --> 01:06:33,766 or do you want to be a steve 1020 01:06:48,100 --> 01:06:51,133 oh cynthia 1021 01:06:54,333 --> 01:06:55,666 how was your day starting high 1022 01:06:59,333 --> 01:07:00,133 and 1023 01:07:01,333 --> 01:07:02,133 hey dex 1024 01:07:02,966 --> 01:07:03,766 what's up 1025 01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:42,466 what is it it's it 1026 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,333 what do you want 1027 01:07:48,733 --> 01:07:50,533 i wanted to see how you were feeling 1028 01:07:50,666 --> 01:07:52,799 oh i'm fine thank you i'm great 1029 01:07:53,900 --> 01:07:55,366 do you need anything 1030 01:07:56,100 --> 01:07:57,500 no no i'm okay 1031 01:07:58,333 --> 01:08:00,599 look this is ridiculous can i just come in 1032 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,966 okay all right great come on in fine 1033 01:08:12,866 --> 01:08:14,366 oh my god are you okay 1034 01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:19,600 all right 1035 01:08:20,066 --> 01:08:24,166 you know i'd rather not talk about it really fine fine 1036 01:08:26,266 --> 01:08:27,533 did somebody hit you 1037 01:08:29,066 --> 01:08:30,999 yes yes okay 1038 01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,666 someone hit me ed hit me all right 1039 01:08:35,733 --> 01:08:37,866 ed hit me you happy 1040 01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:41,166 no i'm really sorry that it happened oh 1041 01:08:41,166 --> 01:08:43,066 really i thought you'd be really happy you know 1042 01:08:43,066 --> 01:08:44,299 because god's punishing me 1043 01:08:44,300 --> 01:08:45,800 i don't want god to punish you 1044 01:08:46,966 --> 01:08:47,766 okay 1045 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,366 i want to punish you 1046 01:08:54,466 --> 01:08:58,166 just kidding i really am sorry it's okay 1047 01:09:12,866 --> 01:09:14,766 did you just kiss my boo boo 1048 01:09:15,933 --> 01:09:16,899 did i help 1049 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:20,700 a little you might have to do it again 1050 01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:53,866 just like a bullet to your side i wanna be 1051 01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:58,100 man you've ever seen 1052 01:10:06,933 --> 01:10:11,066 just like acquainted with macron with me looking 1053 01:10:12,700 --> 01:10:15,166 that group is filled by picking 1054 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:23,600 i'm 1055 01:10:24,966 --> 01:10:25,766 gonna come 1056 01:10:26,866 --> 01:10:30,466 unless you forget i'm just say not a nudity kind of person 1057 01:10:30,466 --> 01:10:33,666 that's cool because i got a non nudity kind of idea 1058 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:07,100 you know what this total reminds me of 1059 01:11:15,866 --> 01:11:17,566 one time what what 1060 01:11:33,266 --> 01:11:34,733 oh whoa whoa whoa 1061 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,666 whoa speed racer 1062 01:11:41,133 --> 01:11:44,599 you know eventually you're gonna have to take your clothes off 1063 01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:49,666 i know i'm grappling with that moment 1064 01:12:05,766 --> 01:12:06,733 is it okay 1065 01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:09,400 nice 1066 01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:09,400 dex 1067 01:13:13,166 --> 01:13:13,966 dex 1068 01:13:17,366 --> 01:13:19,066 oh god oh 1069 01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:21,499 did i drill or something 1070 01:13:23,366 --> 01:13:26,199 thanks oh good not that i drill 1071 01:13:26,766 --> 01:13:28,133 or anything i just um 1072 01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:31,800 hey 1073 01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,300 do you want coffee or cocoa puffs or anything 1074 01:13:38,566 --> 01:13:41,899 i can i can get some i'll make something real quick sure 1075 01:13:58,533 --> 01:13:59,333 hi 1076 01:13:59,966 --> 01:14:00,766 hi 1077 01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:06,566 what's wrong nothing 1078 01:14:09,300 --> 01:14:11,766 i was just thinking about 1079 01:14:13,500 --> 01:14:15,300 well i'm supposed to live in three days 1080 01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:17,900 yeah you knew i was leaving right 1081 01:14:19,533 --> 01:14:21,333 you know i guess i kind of repressed it 1082 01:14:22,466 --> 01:14:23,266 oh 1083 01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:25,300 okay 1084 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:26,800 well 1085 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:29,400 you know maybe you can stay in town for a little while longer i 1086 01:14:29,900 --> 01:14:31,766 i can't have got another job in new york 1087 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:34,766 maybe you could come to new york 1088 01:14:46,066 --> 01:14:47,866 hey dex this is julie 1089 01:14:48,133 --> 01:14:52,199 what's up i haven't heard from you in a while and hey hey you 1090 01:14:53,100 --> 01:14:54,133 how's it going yeah 1091 01:14:54,133 --> 01:14:56,799 sorry sorry about that i've been real busy lately 1092 01:14:57,300 --> 01:14:59,400 no i mean not too busy for you 1093 01:15:00,133 --> 01:15:01,699 i know i said i yeah 1094 01:15:01,900 --> 01:15:05,666 i did i did i meant to i mean i meant it at the time but i 1095 01:15:06,066 --> 01:15:07,766 know it's not like i don't mean that i mean 1096 01:15:09,166 --> 01:15:12,199 it's just it's just sort of complicated and i can't really 1097 01:15:13,100 --> 01:15:18,766 explain i mean i wish i know hey no way i'm a dallas 1098 01:15:19,466 --> 01:15:22,099 what i've got to go i'll call you back later okay 1099 01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:24,566 you look mad it totally works 1100 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,700 can we have breakfast somewhere else you want to 1101 01:15:27,333 --> 01:15:30,533 what works the dow steve dex's rules for picking up chicks 1102 01:15:30,933 --> 01:15:33,199 dex's rules for picking up chicks yeah 1103 01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:35,600 i made a little cheese so i wouldn't forget this 1104 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:36,566 i gotta hear 1105 01:15:37,666 --> 01:15:38,533 oh god 1106 01:15:40,366 --> 01:15:41,533 be desireless 1107 01:15:41,933 --> 01:15:44,399 be excellent and be god 1108 01:15:54,666 --> 01:15:57,866 so do you have different rules for different women 1109 01:16:00,266 --> 01:16:03,966 are you still thinking about that no what 1110 01:16:06,966 --> 01:16:08,899 so does that mean 1111 01:16:09,200 --> 01:16:10,400 women are all the same 1112 01:16:11,133 --> 01:16:11,966 uh no 1113 01:16:12,733 --> 01:16:13,399 this whole thing is like 1114 01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:16,466 it's a universal max and kind of for behavior friend 1115 01:16:16,466 --> 01:16:17,299 it's you know 1116 01:16:18,366 --> 01:16:21,466 next hey hi hey 1117 01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:23,700 how you doing 1118 01:16:24,566 --> 01:16:25,933 sid this is 1119 01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:29,199 cindy kelly 1120 01:16:29,933 --> 01:16:30,733 kelly 1121 01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:34,299 sid kelly kelly sid hi 1122 01:16:35,133 --> 01:16:35,933 hi 1123 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:37,200 so 1124 01:16:37,733 --> 01:16:40,466 you guys ready to order oh i'm just in a sec 1125 01:16:40,933 --> 01:16:42,366 what's the special of the day 1126 01:16:44,466 --> 01:16:45,266 just like 1127 01:16:51,666 --> 01:16:52,566 oh my god 1128 01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:54,933 i'm the special of the day 1129 01:16:55,500 --> 01:16:56,133 what are you talking about 1130 01:16:56,133 --> 01:16:58,533 are you wavos french heroes or something 1131 01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:00,200 well 1132 01:17:00,666 --> 01:17:01,999 what makes me different 1133 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,700 i mean what makes me different 1134 01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:06,566 from any other woman that you've been with 1135 01:17:07,066 --> 01:17:08,999 lots of things everything um 1136 01:17:10,133 --> 01:17:11,333 why should i believe you 1137 01:17:11,733 --> 01:17:13,766 why i don't know why 1138 01:17:13,766 --> 01:17:15,733 why shouldn't you i mean fine don't you know what 1139 01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:16,666 don't believe me 1140 01:17:16,733 --> 01:17:19,299 oh i'm sure you probably tell every woman the same thing 1141 01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:20,400 what oh okay well 1142 01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:22,566 that pretty much limits the what can i say now 1143 01:17:22,566 --> 01:17:24,866 option that i once had you know so i might as well 1144 01:17:24,866 --> 01:17:25,266 you know what 1145 01:17:25,266 --> 01:17:25,933 i'm gonna say 1146 01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:28,566 or you already assigned it this kind of 1147 01:17:32,700 --> 01:17:35,333 you know the actions speak louder than works 1148 01:17:36,533 --> 01:17:38,199 what does that mean i mean what is 1149 01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:39,666 that supposed to mean 1150 01:17:41,466 --> 01:17:43,466 it means there's nothing you can say 1151 01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:50,400 why 1152 01:17:57,300 --> 01:17:58,600 this is the words 1153 01:17:59,333 --> 01:18:00,499 it hurts so good 1154 01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:02,966 and our asses all night monter 1155 01:18:02,966 --> 01:18:05,866 he's not a friggin'roll you guys have no idea 1156 01:18:06,966 --> 01:18:09,533 all right dude we'll have nothing 1157 01:18:10,933 --> 01:18:12,366 i think goldman got laid 1158 01:18:13,366 --> 01:18:15,533 prize this is a fucking card game where goddamn sewing circle 1159 01:18:15,533 --> 01:18:16,299 let's go oh 1160 01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:17,333 leave your chuts 1161 01:18:18,066 --> 01:18:19,066 it's your problem 1162 01:18:20,066 --> 01:18:21,099 shit left today 1163 01:18:21,766 --> 01:18:22,566 oh 1164 01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:27,000 hey uh i did a lot to say say something like 1165 01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:29,666 if you're attached to nothing you lose nothing 1166 01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:31,266 why don't you give it a rest 1167 01:18:35,300 --> 01:18:36,133 five drop 1168 01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:04,766 i left it 1169 01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:07,600 i see 1170 01:19:24,700 --> 01:19:27,366 i can't i can't i can't i just 1171 01:19:29,266 --> 01:19:31,533 i can't i can't i can't do this anymore 1172 01:19:43,533 --> 01:19:44,933 hey what's up that 1173 01:20:05,933 --> 01:20:08,599 hey 1174 01:20:09,466 --> 01:20:12,766 what's up what are you looking for jamie beer oh 1175 01:20:12,766 --> 01:20:14,133 check the little vegetable thing 1176 01:20:17,466 --> 01:20:22,333 hey so is beth upset about something she left her husband oh 1177 01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:38,466 what 1178 01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:46,200 i was wondering if i could have her number 1179 01:20:46,966 --> 01:20:47,766 whose number 1180 01:20:48,533 --> 01:20:49,333 that's 1181 01:20:50,733 --> 01:20:51,766 are you joking 1182 01:20:55,266 --> 01:20:56,066 uh 1183 01:20:56,600 --> 01:20:58,366 yeah i'm sorry bro 1184 01:20:59,066 --> 01:20:59,933 i'm sorry 1185 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,300 hey hey what's up 1186 01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:20,100 you know all that stuff i've been telling you yeah 1187 01:21:20,500 --> 01:21:24,100 forget it the dow of steve isn't about picking up lots of women 1188 01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:27,866 it's about being the best person you can be and i'm not 1189 01:21:28,733 --> 01:21:30,133 what are you talking about 1190 01:21:30,266 --> 01:21:31,666 i've been trying to turn you into me 1191 01:21:31,666 --> 01:21:33,899 and i'm not sure i even wanna be me anymore 1192 01:22:14,900 --> 01:22:15,933 hey dex 1193 01:22:15,933 --> 01:22:20,133 it's it i'm just called from new york to say hi 1194 01:22:20,766 --> 01:22:21,566 and 1195 01:22:22,133 --> 01:22:25,799 actually i'm not calling to say hi i'm calling because 1196 01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:28,133 you know that thing that happened in college 1197 01:22:28,466 --> 01:22:30,499 i just left it hanging for ten years 1198 01:22:30,733 --> 01:22:31,799 and the thing is 1199 01:22:31,866 --> 01:22:34,899 i don't want to leave what happened the other day hanging 1200 01:22:35,166 --> 01:22:36,499 so unresolved 1201 01:22:36,766 --> 01:22:38,933 and everything so um 1202 01:22:41,866 --> 01:22:44,333 so anyway i just i don't know 1203 01:22:45,366 --> 01:22:46,266 we should talk 1204 01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:54,866 sorry sorry sorry 1205 01:22:59,300 --> 01:23:00,100 just um 1206 01:23:07,133 --> 01:23:07,999 actually 1207 01:23:09,100 --> 01:23:09,900 never mind 87467

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