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Will & Grace is recorded
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in front of a live
studio audience.
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00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:09,409
Morning.
Morning.
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00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,909
Do you like
the new Grace Adler?
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00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,309
I'm putting her in the lobby
of the design union
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00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,609
to remind people to vote.
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00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:15,909
Isn't that just an invitation
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00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,639
for someone to
draw a penis on it?
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00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,079
Why do you diminish my efforts?
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00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,079
Why do you diminish
your thighs?
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Whose did you use?
RuPaul?
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00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:30,609
Grace, did you eat all
of the almond butter?
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I just bought it.
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This really throws me off;
I had already calculated it
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into my good fats for the day.
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What, am I supposed to eat
a coconut like a castaway?
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00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:42,639
I don't know what to say.
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00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:43,640
How about, "I'm sorry."
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Okay, okay.
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00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:48,539
Well?
What?
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00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,139
Aren't you going to say,
I'm sorry?
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00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:53,279
Oh, my God. How many times
do I have to apologize?
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00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,039
How about once?
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00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,709
Will, can we just agree
that almond butter is stupid?
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Because no matter what
you tell yourself,
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it's not peanut butter
and it never will be.
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Sorry I brought it up.
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Apology accepted.
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Hey, so, you know how I've
always been kind of psychic?
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Like a little queer-voyant?
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00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,179
No.
See?
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I knew you were going
to say that.
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So, after taking
a short online course
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and proving
that I'm not a robot,
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the good folks at The United
Community of Psychic People,
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00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:28,640
or UCPP, have welcomed--
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Oh, my God.
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UCPP!
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I just got that.
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Do you guys get it?
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Mhm.
Yeah.
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00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,339
Anyway, those guys
have welcomed me
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into their community
of a certified psychic.
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There's no name
written on there.
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Yeah, it costs $500
for them to put that on there.
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So, can I borrow--
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All:
No.
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00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,609
Now, I'm scaring myself.
49
00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:06,009
And, if you need
a further demonstration,
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Karen is gonna
walk through that door in 5--
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00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,740
Now, honey?
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00:02:13,810 --> 00:02:16,080
4,3,2,1.
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Grace, I need a favor.
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Over here.
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Oh, right.
The campaign.
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00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,040
But the resemblance is uncanny.
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00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,879
But aren't you worried
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00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,809
someone's gonna
draw a penis on it?
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No!
Why does everybody--Jack!
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00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,579
Honey...
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00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,179
Is it okay if I store
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00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:52,579
a few things from my place
at the office?
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00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:53,939
Um...
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I've decided to sell the manse.
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00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,980
Really?
I saw it in a vision.
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00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:08,679
Now that Rosario is gone
and with the divorce
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00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,409
there's just too many memories.
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00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:12,479
One of my favorite memories
is the time you and Stan were
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00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,939
being robbed and you wouldn't
let Rosario in the panic room
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00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:20,510
because it wasn't, in your
words, a "His-panic room."
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00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:30,140
I like to make life nice
for the working classes.
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00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,980
Right, middle class grace?
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00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:39,710
I'm sorry.
Right, middle class Grace?
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For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
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Would you look at that?
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It's the bracelet Stan gave me
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for eating one
of my mini Prada bags.
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00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:04,639
He thought it was a taco.
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00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,739
Karen, I'm getting so many
vibrations from being around
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00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:10,339
all your old stuff.
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00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:12,009
Like this. Wow.
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Hey, now that I'm a psychic,
could I rock a turban?
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Honey, I'm really looking
forward to watching you
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00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:20,180
con poor people
out of their money.
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00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:23,009
"Should I buy food
or should I listen
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00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:26,310
to what this dum-dum
in a turban has to say?"
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00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,279
Karen, I have a real gift.
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00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,109
The only gift you have
is the one
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00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:35,379
where you clean yourself
like a dog.
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00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,880
It's the gift
that keeps on giving,
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00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:40,839
And receiving.
92
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,509
But Karen, I am telling you, I
am truly psychically connected.
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00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:48,079
Honey,
I come from con man stock.
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00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,879
My mother was a grifter.
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00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,909
My father was a flim-flam man,
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00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:56,080
when he wasn't
governor of Oklahoma.
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00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,309
The only thing
a fake psychic needs
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00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:03,209
is to find out what
their mark wants to hear
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00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:05,540
and then give it to them.
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00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:11,380
Okay, okay,
I'm sensing skepticism.
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00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:17,379
Karen inspired me to finally
clean out the closet.
102
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,539
Plus, it's raining
so I couldn't go running.
103
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:20,809
You never go running.
104
00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:24,109
I wasn't going to start
in the rain.
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00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:26,379
You are not going
to believe what I found.
106
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:30,239
Oh, Grace, you broke Garfield
off his base.
107
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,279
Now it just says, "I love
lasagna," with no context.
108
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,440
Because it makes a lot more
sense when a cat says it.
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Can't you just say,
"I'm sorry?"
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Okay, fine.
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00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:44,739
You actually have to say it.
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00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:47,310
Oh, my God, you're relentless.
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I found all the letters that we
wrote to each other in college.
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00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,009
Oh, yeah. You know,
I actually--
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I meant to organize those
for the archives.
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For when I was going
to write my memoir.
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Oh, right, right,
and it had that weird title.
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Weird tit--
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00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:04,309
"Homo with a Pie"
is a great title,
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00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:05,809
and when I get around
to writing it
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00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:08,979
it's really gonna delve
into the complexities
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00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:10,609
of the gay experience
in America,
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00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:13,610
and at the end
there'll be recipes.
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You know, for--for pie.
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00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,379
Okay, check this out.
Spring break freshman year.
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,539
Mm-hmm.
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00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:24,109
Oh, my God I was
so in love with you.
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Remember I was desperately
trying to get you
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00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,179
to have sex with me?
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Yeah, I was desperately
trying to avoid it.
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00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,679
Read the letter.
Okay.
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"Hey, lover, I hate that our
schedules keep conflicting.
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00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,409
"Will, there's something
I don't want anymore
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00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:41,979
"and I want you
to take from me.
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00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:44,179
"Wink wink.
Read the back.
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00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:45,979
I'm talking
about my virginity."
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00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,780
Oh, no.
138
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:52,309
Oh, I just want
to reach back in time
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00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,139
and slap the dumb out of me.
140
00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:56,639
Hey, you think you're bummed,
I'm a guy.
141
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,309
"While I was giving possibly
my best performance of
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00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,539
"'Trouble in River City, '
the whole time I was thinking
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00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:04,209
"'I wish I was in bed
making love to Grace, '
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00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:05,909
"with a capital G
that rhymes with C
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00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:07,380
"and that stands
for 'coitus.'
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00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:15,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
147
00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:18,918
Oooh, perfume.
Oh.
148
00:07:18,919 --> 00:07:21,818
This seems very special indeed.
149
00:07:21,819 --> 00:07:23,778
I'm gonna have to do
a spray and step.
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00:07:23,779 --> 00:07:27,719
Spray, delay, and walk away.
151
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,978
You know,
Rosario gave me that perfume
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00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:37,148
because she thought
that it would bring
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00:07:37,149 --> 00:07:38,778
true love into my life.
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Her exact words were,
"This will cover up the stink
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00:07:41,649 --> 00:07:43,318
"of the alcohol and then maybe
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00:07:43,319 --> 00:07:46,348
you can trick a man
into tolerating you."
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00:07:46,349 --> 00:07:48,319
Ah.
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00:07:48,919 --> 00:07:51,478
She was such a romantic.
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00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:53,848
And then, sure enough,
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00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:57,318
the very first time I wore it,
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00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:59,049
I met Stan.
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00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,618
You can toss it.
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00:08:02,619 --> 00:08:06,278
I'm never falling
in love again.
164
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:07,848
What?
Why would you say that?
165
00:08:07,849 --> 00:08:10,118
Because I'm through with love.
166
00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:12,818
I mean, sure,
I'll have my needs met.
167
00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:14,949
The occasional rub and tug.
168
00:08:16,179 --> 00:08:17,979
The all night bang fest.
169
00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:21,849
A back alley bean twiddle.
170
00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:26,548
But as far as my heart goes...
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00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,018
it is closed.
172
00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:30,818
Well,
I hate hearing that Karen.
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00:08:30,819 --> 00:08:32,678
You have so much love to give.
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00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:37,178
All you need to do is just--
Ba-ba-ba-ba-boo.
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00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:41,118
Go back
to your fake magic tricks.
176
00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:42,849
It's not fake, Karen!
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00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:48,719
I can see your future.
178
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:54,318
I see romance, I see travel...
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00:08:54,319 --> 00:08:57,148
I see London.
180
00:08:57,149 --> 00:09:00,578
I see France...
181
00:09:00,579 --> 00:09:02,548
I see Karen's underpants.
182
00:09:02,549 --> 00:09:04,018
No, I'm just kidding.
183
00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,318
I know you go commando
when it's raining.
184
00:09:05,319 --> 00:09:07,718
Yeah.
Okay.
185
00:09:07,719 --> 00:09:10,548
I do see love.
I see happiness.
186
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,378
Oh, save it for your next mark.
187
00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:14,149
Wait, wait.
188
00:09:15,219 --> 00:09:16,578
I'm fee--
189
00:09:16,579 --> 00:09:18,318
I'm feeling something strange,
Karen.
190
00:09:18,319 --> 00:09:19,518
What?
191
00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,579
Oh, it's coming from in here.
192
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,348
It's Rosario's jacket.
193
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:28,878
Ooh.
194
00:09:28,879 --> 00:09:31,819
Check the pocket
for scratchers.
195
00:09:38,919 --> 00:09:40,249
Hello, lady.
196
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,578
Oh...
197
00:09:44,579 --> 00:09:46,248
Ah.
Choo.
198
00:09:46,249 --> 00:09:47,378
What just happened?
199
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,018
I don't know.
200
00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:51,718
But honey, I think you might
have another gift
201
00:09:51,719 --> 00:09:54,879
besides squeaky clean balls.
202
00:09:57,419 --> 00:09:58,948
Uh oh.
203
00:09:58,949 --> 00:10:01,618
November 29th, 1985.
204
00:10:01,619 --> 00:10:03,318
The day after Thanksgiving.
205
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:04,718
When I came out to you.
206
00:10:04,719 --> 00:10:07,818
Ugh, you ripped my heart out.
207
00:10:07,819 --> 00:10:10,218
It was like everything
I believed in was a lie.
208
00:10:10,219 --> 00:10:14,378
Even holding this in my hand
I feel like I wanna throw up.
209
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:15,449
Should we read it?
210
00:10:18,579 --> 00:10:21,049
That's a good sign, right?
211
00:10:22,119 --> 00:10:24,748
I can't totally explain it,
Karen, but it's like
212
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,478
Rosario's all around me.
213
00:10:27,479 --> 00:10:29,348
She's in me...
214
00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:32,018
and then she's out of me.
215
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:34,148
She's in me
and then she's out of me.
216
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:37,448
It's like our wedding night
all over again.
217
00:10:37,449 --> 00:10:41,779
Is she happy?
Does she like cleaning heaven?
218
00:10:44,319 --> 00:10:46,478
She says it's bigger
than she thought...
219
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,818
Oh.
220
00:10:47,819 --> 00:10:49,178
But they do let her take home
221
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:51,818
leftover chicken
and the recyclables.
222
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,078
Does she have a message for me?
223
00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:55,448
- She does.
- She does.
224
00:10:55,449 --> 00:10:56,818
Oh, this is interesting.
225
00:10:56,819 --> 00:10:59,518
Rosario says you're going
to find love again.
226
00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:01,348
That's crap.
227
00:11:01,349 --> 00:11:05,119
What did she break
into god's liquor cabinet?
228
00:11:06,019 --> 00:11:08,148
Um, this is coming
from a disembodied ghost
229
00:11:08,149 --> 00:11:10,478
so, kinda think it's real.
230
00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:13,178
She doesn't know
what she's talking about.
231
00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:14,518
Uh-oh.
232
00:11:14,519 --> 00:11:16,648
She did not like that.
233
00:11:16,649 --> 00:11:19,179
Why, what'd she say?
234
00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:22,278
Rosario,
I'm not going to tell her that.
235
00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:23,518
Well just tell me.
236
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:24,519
She says you're gonna get mad.
237
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,819
I'm not gonna get mad.
238
00:11:27,879 --> 00:11:30,118
She says you're a quitter--
Mm-hmm.
239
00:11:30,119 --> 00:11:32,678
She says you should
put on that perfume
240
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,449
and get your rich,
pampered ass back out there.
241
00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:39,949
She is not allowed
to talk to me that way!
242
00:11:40,579 --> 00:11:44,049
Even though she is dead,
she's fired.
243
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,078
What are you doing?
244
00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:48,678
She's coming through!
245
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:50,248
She's taking over.
Oh!
246
00:11:50,249 --> 00:11:52,349
I'm losing myself!
247
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:58,818
Well, there are a few things
248
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,149
I'd like to say to you, too.
249
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,048
If you quit on love,
you're a fool.
250
00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:06,519
What the hell do you know...
Listen, lady--
251
00:12:08,579 --> 00:12:11,048
--Sapphire earrings of mine
that you stole
252
00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:13,278
and then swallowed and passed
through your digestive track
253
00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:15,118
and you thought
I wouldn't notice.
254
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:18,018
Why do you think I have butler
stand outside the door
255
00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:20,078
with a pair of rubber gloves
on bathroom day.
256
00:12:20,079 --> 00:12:23,019
...Lid for every pot and that
means there's someone for you.
257
00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:25,748
Rosie.
258
00:12:25,749 --> 00:12:27,518
Do you really think so?
259
00:12:27,519 --> 00:12:28,948
I do.
260
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:32,378
Then I won't give up on love.
261
00:12:32,379 --> 00:12:34,018
I love you, Mami.
262
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:36,049
I love you too, Mami.
263
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,519
I miss those lips.
264
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:44,778
She's going.
Oh, no.
265
00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:46,219
She's going.
266
00:12:54,449 --> 00:12:55,478
She's gone.
267
00:12:55,479 --> 00:12:58,778
Oh, no.
Rosie, wait.
268
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:02,079
Rosie!
269
00:13:05,597 --> 00:13:07,337
Okay, let's set the scene.
270
00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:09,323
It's the day after
I came out to you.
271
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:12,823
I'm back at school wearing
a Clinique peel-off mask
272
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:14,663
because of a stress pimple,
273
00:13:14,664 --> 00:13:18,123
and listening to our song
over and over.
274
00:13:18,124 --> 00:13:19,523
How could I not see it?
275
00:13:19,524 --> 00:13:21,694
Our song was Dancing Queen.
Mm.
276
00:13:26,224 --> 00:13:27,963
This is a short one.
277
00:13:27,964 --> 00:13:30,193
"Grace, I'm so sorry.
278
00:13:30,194 --> 00:13:32,664
I'm just so sorry."
279
00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:37,493
So sad.
I know.
280
00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:40,993
And then I wrote you
that big long one.
281
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,193
Oof, huh?
282
00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,693
Yeah, I couldn't even open it.
283
00:13:44,694 --> 00:13:46,464
You di--
284
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,863
You didn't read it?
285
00:13:48,864 --> 00:13:50,693
No, I couldn't.
Really?
286
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:54,523
'Cause if I had gotten
a letter this thick
287
00:13:54,524 --> 00:13:58,063
scented in white diamonds,
I'd have been a little curious.
288
00:13:58,064 --> 00:14:01,093
Will, I was devastated.
289
00:14:01,094 --> 00:14:03,163
I mean, I even considered
being a lesbian
290
00:14:03,164 --> 00:14:05,693
but women are a lot of work.
291
00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:07,193
I can't believe you're joking.
292
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,693
I cried
when I wrote this letter.
293
00:14:08,694 --> 00:14:12,193
You cried?
I think we know who was crying.
294
00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:15,223
But come on, we're good.
We got through it.
295
00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:16,963
You apologized.
296
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,063
Yeah.
297
00:14:19,064 --> 00:14:20,723
Over and over again.
298
00:14:20,724 --> 00:14:21,863
What does that mean?
299
00:14:21,864 --> 00:14:23,263
We never talk about this
300
00:14:23,264 --> 00:14:25,423
but that's kind of our dynamic,
isn't it?
301
00:14:25,424 --> 00:14:28,393
That I always say I'm sorry.
You never say it.
302
00:14:28,394 --> 00:14:30,223
It's like I'm
constantly apologizing
303
00:14:30,224 --> 00:14:32,563
for the original sin
of hurting you.
304
00:14:32,564 --> 00:14:34,423
Okay, I--
No, that's true. That's true.
305
00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,763
And you never have to apologize
because you're the victim.
306
00:14:36,764 --> 00:14:38,063
Oh, my God.
307
00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:39,963
Is this about
your almond thing?
308
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,063
I said I'm sorry.
309
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:43,793
No, you didn't.
310
00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:44,794
You never do.
311
00:14:44,795 --> 00:14:46,223
Why are you getting so mad
312
00:14:46,224 --> 00:14:48,063
about something that happened
a million years ago?
313
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:49,593
'Cause you didn't
read my letter.
314
00:14:49,594 --> 00:14:51,163
You didn't even think
that maybe
315
00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:52,993
I was going through
something, too.
316
00:14:52,994 --> 00:14:54,423
Maybe I needed my best friend.
317
00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:55,963
Okay, fine.
I'll read it.
318
00:14:55,964 --> 00:14:56,964
Give it to me.
319
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,063
No.
320
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,093
What do you mean, "no."
321
00:14:59,094 --> 00:15:00,864
You had your chance.
322
00:15:02,594 --> 00:15:05,423
No, no, no, no.
You're not going out there.
323
00:15:05,424 --> 00:15:06,763
Aren't I?
Nope.
324
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,463
It is pouring rain
and you are wearing
325
00:15:08,464 --> 00:15:10,663
your suede driving moccasins.
326
00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:13,293
I don't care.
327
00:15:13,294 --> 00:15:15,864
Okay, yes, I care.
I care.
328
00:15:19,124 --> 00:15:21,063
You did not just do that.
329
00:15:21,064 --> 00:15:23,224
Oh, didn't I?
330
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:28,664
The one time
he doesn't throw like a girl.
331
00:15:35,764 --> 00:15:36,963
Mrs. Timmer?
332
00:15:36,964 --> 00:15:38,793
Oh, there you are.
333
00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:41,293
I like your hat.
334
00:15:41,294 --> 00:15:43,923
It's a Duane Reade bag.
335
00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:46,293
Just take the compliment.
336
00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:49,463
Anyway, this envelope
landed on my terrace.
337
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:51,623
Oh, God, I've been running
up and down the block
338
00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:53,623
looking for this.
339
00:15:53,624 --> 00:15:54,663
You opened it?
340
00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:57,463
How else could I have read it?
341
00:15:57,464 --> 00:15:59,523
Listen, doll,
you should read it too.
342
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,223
Without giving too much away,
343
00:16:01,224 --> 00:16:03,363
it explains why you
and your husband
344
00:16:03,364 --> 00:16:05,824
don't have any children.
345
00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:10,963
Are you going to
take Rosario's advice
346
00:16:10,964 --> 00:16:13,993
and spray on some of this
love potion Numero Nueve
347
00:16:13,994 --> 00:16:16,193
and get back out there?
348
00:16:16,194 --> 00:16:18,793
Yeah, maybe.
349
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:19,993
I don't know.
350
00:16:19,994 --> 00:16:21,163
What do you mean
you don't know?
351
00:16:21,164 --> 00:16:22,463
Didn't you hear Rosie?
352
00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:24,993
I did, but did I?
353
00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:27,493
I mean how do I know
that I wasn't just your mark
354
00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:30,363
and you weren't just telling me
what I wanted to hear.
355
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,263
How can you say that?
356
00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:34,093
Are you telling me
when you kissed me
357
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,163
you didn't taste 409,
Virginia Slims,
358
00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:38,464
and a little whiff
of venison jerky?
359
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:41,493
Well, the mind plays tricks.
360
00:16:41,494 --> 00:16:43,523
The lightning, the thunder,
361
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:46,524
decades of hard drinking.
362
00:16:48,364 --> 00:16:49,723
It was a perfect storm.
363
00:16:49,724 --> 00:16:52,993
But I'm telling you,
she was here.
364
00:16:52,994 --> 00:16:54,493
Sure, honey.
365
00:16:54,494 --> 00:16:58,394
Well,
I am saddened by your attitude.
366
00:17:02,594 --> 00:17:05,424
Ye of big boobs
and little faith.
367
00:17:17,224 --> 00:17:19,293
Okay, okay.
368
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:21,363
Message received.
369
00:17:21,364 --> 00:17:23,693
I'll keep trying.
370
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:26,693
♪ Old black magic
has me in its spell ♪
371
00:17:26,694 --> 00:17:31,123
♪ Old black magic
that you weave so well ♪
372
00:17:31,124 --> 00:17:34,123
♪ Those icy fingers
up and down my spine ♪
373
00:17:34,124 --> 00:17:38,793
♪ The same old witch craft
when your eyes meet mine ♪
374
00:17:38,794 --> 00:17:42,063
♪ The same old tingle
that I feel inside ♪
375
00:17:42,064 --> 00:17:46,123
♪ And then that elevator
starts it's ride ♪
376
00:17:46,124 --> 00:17:48,593
♪ Down ♪
♪ Down and down I go ♪
377
00:17:48,594 --> 00:17:50,423
♪ Around and around I go ♪
378
00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:52,294
♪ Like a leaf
caught in the tide ♪
379
00:18:04,437 --> 00:18:05,297
Grace?
380
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:08,269
I'm the worst person
in the world.
381
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:09,909
I read your letter.
382
00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,009
Come on inside.
383
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,009
I can't go inside.
384
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,469
I don't deserve to go inside.
I'm horrible.
385
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,239
Grace,
if we never let horrible people
386
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,370
in our apartment,
we'd never see Karen.
387
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,040
That's true.
Mm.
388
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,339
How did I not read this letter?
389
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,809
I mean, you went through
so much after you came out
390
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,169
and I wasn't there for you.
391
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,539
We don't have to talk about it.
392
00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:35,909
No, we do.
I have to.
393
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,339
You were tortured.
394
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:40,909
And I never even
thought about that.
395
00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:43,269
When I got to the part
where you write,
396
00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:45,739
"Grace.
I don't want to be gay.
397
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:48,569
I just wish I was normal."
398
00:18:48,570 --> 00:18:50,669
Oh my god will.
399
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,310
That broke my heart.
400
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,069
And then the part
where you said
401
00:18:55,070 --> 00:18:58,039
that you were thinking
about hurting yourself?
402
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,010
I mean, is that true?
403
00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:03,140
Sweetie?
404
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:06,040
It was a long time ago.
405
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:09,169
Okay, look.
406
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:11,069
This might be 30 years
too late.
407
00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:15,210
But I just got smart
in the last hour.
408
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,769
You're right.
I didn't think about your pain.
409
00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:20,569
I only thought about mine,
410
00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:23,869
because that's the way
the story of the gay guy
411
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,469
and the straight girl
is always told.
412
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:27,909
Isn't it?
413
00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:29,409
He broke her heart.
414
00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:31,269
Poor her.
415
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:34,709
But you were
just being who you are,
416
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:35,909
and you were scared to death
417
00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:37,539
that the world
was gonna find out
418
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,670
and hate you for it.
419
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,209
Wow.
420
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:45,270
You did get smart.
421
00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:47,169
And you were right.
422
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:50,269
It is why
I never say I'm sorry.
423
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,939
And I have been playing
the victim.
424
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,669
So...
425
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:57,970
I am going to say it now.
426
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:02,610
Doesn't it feel good?
427
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,939
Still haven't said it.
428
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:13,940
I didn't?
429
00:20:13,941 --> 00:20:17,269
Oh!
I am sorry.
430
00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:19,139
I am sorry
431
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:21,109
for not being there with you.
432
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:22,639
I am sorry, Will.
433
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,269
I am sorry for not being there
when you needed me most.
434
00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:28,469
And I am so, so sorry
435
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:31,769
that I never said this
to you before now.
436
00:20:31,770 --> 00:20:34,109
The fact that you are a gay man
437
00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:37,209
did not ruin my life.
438
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:41,170
It made it so much better.
439
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,170
Mine too.
440
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,009
Did you really go to
a prostitute on Christmas?
441
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,669
I couldn't go in.
442
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,639
I just went to the House
of Pies and ate my feelings.
443
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,669
Really,
that was the inspiration
444
00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:01,640
for "Homo with a Pie."
445
00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:05,369
And you're gonna write
that book one day.
446
00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:08,369
If I dedicate it to you
will you read it?
447
00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:11,209
If by read it you mean skip
to the parts that are about me
448
00:21:11,210 --> 00:21:13,310
I will absolutely read it.
448
00:21:14,305 --> 00:21:20,559
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