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1
00:00:03,669 --> 00:00:06,359
David just parked.
2
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,608
You know, I don't think
I've ever met Mark's dad.
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,277
Well, we've actually been
separated for years,
4
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,247
so he's never been to a
parent-teacher conference before.
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,105
- He was working overseas.
- Oh.
6
00:00:16,106 --> 00:00:18,774
Not for money, but, um...
7
00:00:18,775 --> 00:00:19,909
But he's a good dad... yeah.
8
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:22,411
Not a great dad,
or he would've been on time.
9
00:00:23,747 --> 00:00:24,947
I'm just... I'm just kidding.
10
00:00:24,948 --> 00:00:25,781
I'm just kidding.
11
00:00:25,782 --> 00:00:27,717
We have that kind of relationship,
12
00:00:27,718 --> 00:00:29,451
you know, when he's not around.
13
00:00:31,521 --> 00:00:33,789
Oh, so, so sorry we're late.
14
00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:34,523
Who's this?
15
00:00:34,524 --> 00:00:35,925
This is my girlfriend, Blue.
16
00:00:35,926 --> 00:00:37,359
Blue, this is Darlene,
17
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,629
and... and Mark's teacher,
Mrs... um, Reynolds.
18
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,398
Thank you for having me,
19
00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:45,134
member of the noblest profession.
20
00:00:46,636 --> 00:00:50,439
Ah, and it's so nice
to finally meet you, Darlene.
21
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,975
Yes, it's... nice to meet you, too.
22
00:00:52,976 --> 00:00:55,978
And what a delightful surprise
that it's happening here!
23
00:00:58,115 --> 00:00:59,982
I should've told you
that Blue was coming,
24
00:00:59,983 --> 00:01:01,617
but at the last minute,
25
00:01:01,618 --> 00:01:02,651
she felt that...
26
00:01:02,652 --> 00:01:05,321
I-I mean we felt that if she was here,
27
00:01:05,322 --> 00:01:07,256
she could be a more profound part
28
00:01:07,257 --> 00:01:09,225
of Mark's life journey.
29
00:01:09,226 --> 00:01:11,427
Yeah, I've only met Mark twice,
30
00:01:11,428 --> 00:01:13,963
but I've known him forever.
31
00:01:15,132 --> 00:01:18,500
And, you know, like they say,
the more parents, the better!
32
00:01:19,836 --> 00:01:22,805
Um... who says that? No one says that.
33
00:01:22,806 --> 00:01:24,406
So, why don't we get started.
34
00:01:24,407 --> 00:01:26,008
Uh, yeah, sorry.
35
00:01:26,009 --> 00:01:28,477
I'm... I'm anxious to hear how
Mark's doing in his new class.
36
00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:31,113
First, Mark is an absolute pleasure,
37
00:01:31,114 --> 00:01:33,349
although he can be...
a little too talkative at times.
38
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:35,150
That is so Mark.
39
00:01:37,187 --> 00:01:41,590
I'm always saying that.
He's so highly verbal.
40
00:01:41,591 --> 00:01:44,293
Totally. You would know, 'cause
you've met him twice, so...
41
00:01:45,128 --> 00:01:48,164
So, uh... Mark's a big talker?
42
00:01:48,165 --> 00:01:50,132
Is that... Is that
affecting his schoolwork?
43
00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:53,169
No. Honestly, it's a struggle
to keep him challenged.
44
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,103
W-W-Well, you know, if you think
45
00:01:54,104 --> 00:01:56,005
he needs some extra work
to challenge him,
46
00:01:56,006 --> 00:01:58,541
we can help him when the kids
stay over this weekend.
47
00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:00,709
H-Hold up. What...
The kids are staying over?
48
00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:01,877
I never agreed to that.
49
00:02:04,447 --> 00:02:06,982
Huh. My smart watch is telling
me to get up and move,
50
00:02:06,983 --> 00:02:09,018
and, I don't know,
now seems like a good time.
51
00:02:11,221 --> 00:02:13,656
You said the kids
could sleep over sometimes.
52
00:02:13,657 --> 00:02:15,991
That's just something you say, like,
53
00:02:15,992 --> 00:02:17,660
"They're your kids, too."
54
00:02:19,062 --> 00:02:20,029
Come on.
55
00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:22,197
I'm trying to make up
for lost time here.
56
00:02:25,035 --> 00:02:27,136
Fine. They can sleep over.
57
00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:30,039
And you do not have to worry.
58
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,441
I lived on a weed commune...
59
00:02:34,544 --> 00:02:37,680
...where we all shared in
the raising of the children.
60
00:02:38,815 --> 00:02:40,683
Oh, yeah, sure.
Well, it's easier that way
61
00:02:40,684 --> 00:02:42,952
when you're too stoned
to know whose kid is whose.
62
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
63
00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:24,126
"The Conners" is recorded
64
00:03:24,127 --> 00:03:26,228
in front of a live studio audience.
65
00:03:26,229 --> 00:03:27,863
Ah, damn.
66
00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:29,031
You okay?
67
00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:30,532
Ah, I'm short a guy at work.
68
00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:33,202
My back's acting up
from hangin' drywall.
69
00:03:33,203 --> 00:03:34,370
Turns out...
70
00:03:34,371 --> 00:03:36,305
I forgot to eat right and exercise
71
00:03:36,306 --> 00:03:37,906
for the last 50 years.
72
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:40,276
It's never too late.
73
00:03:40,277 --> 00:03:42,144
That's what they say, but...
74
00:03:42,145 --> 00:03:43,345
it is.
75
00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:46,248
Hey, Beck.
76
00:03:46,249 --> 00:03:47,549
What do you need?
77
00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:49,451
Willpower or a beer.
78
00:03:50,787 --> 00:03:53,188
Once again, we have a winner!
79
00:03:54,391 --> 00:03:56,325
Hey, you know what, Deej?
80
00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:57,893
If you want to pick up
a couple extra bucks,
81
00:03:57,894 --> 00:03:59,295
you could help out on my crew.
82
00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:00,829
I am slammed at work.
83
00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:02,464
You know the servicing
of vending machines,
84
00:04:02,465 --> 00:04:04,433
it's not just collecting coins.
85
00:04:04,434 --> 00:04:07,836
Vandals scratch curse words
into the glass.
86
00:04:07,837 --> 00:04:10,205
And they say firemen are heroes.
87
00:04:12,676 --> 00:04:13,642
Hey, Dad?
88
00:04:13,643 --> 00:04:14,610
Mm-hmm?
89
00:04:14,611 --> 00:04:17,613
How come you didn't ask me
to do drywall?
90
00:04:17,614 --> 00:04:18,981
'Cause I'm a girl?
91
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:21,183
Wait, you're not
gonna get me with that one.
92
00:04:21,184 --> 00:04:23,786
No, I didn't ask you
because you're a woman.
93
00:04:26,089 --> 00:04:28,524
Come on. I could really
use the extra money.
94
00:04:28,525 --> 00:04:30,826
I'm saving to put a down payment
on a mobile home
95
00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:34,363
with a patio and a tree
that you can tie yourself to
96
00:04:34,364 --> 00:04:35,798
when the tornado comes.
97
00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:40,436
I'd love to, Beck,
but it's construction.
98
00:04:40,437 --> 00:04:42,171
I'm not comfortable having you around
99
00:04:42,172 --> 00:04:44,606
all that rough language
and dirty jokes,
100
00:04:44,607 --> 00:04:46,308
and I don't think I can cut back.
101
00:04:48,044 --> 00:04:50,245
Women built the pyramids, Dad.
102
00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:53,082
I don't know if that's true,
103
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,551
but I like how quick
you came up with it.
104
00:04:55,552 --> 00:04:57,386
So, is that a yes?
105
00:04:57,387 --> 00:04:59,188
All right, Butch.
We'll give it a shot.
106
00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:00,355
Oh!
107
00:05:01,157 --> 00:05:02,491
And, Mom, we'll be fine.
108
00:05:02,492 --> 00:05:04,827
Don't text me every five minutes
when I'm with Dad and Blue.
109
00:05:04,828 --> 00:05:06,061
I won't.
110
00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:08,664
Just remember, any nice
feelings you have about her...
111
00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:09,765
hurt me.
112
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:14,303
Are you jealous because
new mommy is so pretty?
113
00:05:14,304 --> 00:05:16,538
Ohh. That was rough.
114
00:05:16,539 --> 00:05:18,907
I'm a little wounded...
and kinda proud.
115
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:23,545
Harris, you come from a long
line of sharp-tongued women
116
00:05:23,546 --> 00:05:25,414
who have found that
this particular gift
117
00:05:25,415 --> 00:05:29,418
keeps them from having any
truly successful relationships
118
00:05:29,419 --> 00:05:31,353
outside the family.
119
00:05:34,891 --> 00:05:36,692
Hey. You got everything?
120
00:05:36,693 --> 00:05:38,093
Everything but happiness.
121
00:05:39,529 --> 00:05:41,563
I mean I'm working on it
with a new boyfriend.
122
00:05:41,564 --> 00:05:43,399
Sorry, I-I-I meant bags.
123
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,167
Oh, yeah, we got baggage...
124
00:05:45,168 --> 00:05:46,602
but...
125
00:05:46,603 --> 00:05:48,437
We're aware of it,
and as a life coach,
126
00:05:48,438 --> 00:05:50,105
I know that once you're
aware of the problem,
127
00:05:50,106 --> 00:05:52,608
then you can begin
that long, long process.
128
00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:53,842
Uh, yeah...
129
00:05:53,843 --> 00:05:56,078
sensing that
you're still living alone?
130
00:05:56,079 --> 00:05:59,014
Uh, no, no, I've got Bev with me now.
131
00:05:59,015 --> 00:06:00,382
Talking to her is a challenge.
132
00:06:00,383 --> 00:06:03,752
Did you know that
she was beautiful in her day
133
00:06:03,753 --> 00:06:05,621
but neither of her daughters
inherited that?
134
00:06:16,533 --> 00:06:19,001
So strange being in
- this house without your mom.
135
00:06:19,636 --> 00:06:21,136
When you and I were having problems,
136
00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:23,272
she'd always take me aside and say,
137
00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,807
"David, I can't understand you
when you're crying."
138
00:06:27,577 --> 00:06:29,590
Well, you were the daughter
she always wanted.
139
00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:33,382
How you doing?
140
00:06:33,383 --> 00:06:34,817
Mm.
141
00:06:34,818 --> 00:06:35,918
Up and down.
142
00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:39,555
Well, things look like they're going
really well with you and Blue.
143
00:06:39,556 --> 00:06:42,324
Yeah. Thank you for being
so accepting of it.
144
00:06:42,325 --> 00:06:43,959
Oh, yeah, no problem.
145
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,294
Um... did you tell her
146
00:06:45,295 --> 00:06:47,162
that we slept together
like three months ago?
147
00:06:47,163 --> 00:06:49,498
I just need to know in case
I mention it in passing.
148
00:06:53,136 --> 00:06:54,469
Please do not do that.
149
00:06:56,005 --> 00:06:57,806
Okay, but let's be brutally honest.
150
00:06:57,807 --> 00:07:01,143
After we had sex, you were
totally ready to ditch Blue.
151
00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:02,244
Well...
152
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,780
It was great sex.
153
00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:08,951
Yeah. It was.
154
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,422
Don't... Don't... confuse me.
155
00:07:13,423 --> 00:07:16,291
I-I really think I found
something that works.
156
00:07:16,292 --> 00:07:18,494
Really? With her?
157
00:07:18,495 --> 00:07:19,823
Yeah.
158
00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:22,831
Yes, I think I found my soulmate.
159
00:07:26,503 --> 00:07:28,937
That's great.
160
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:30,506
I mean, I just wanted clarity.
161
00:07:30,507 --> 00:07:32,307
As long as we're clear, it's great.
162
00:07:32,308 --> 00:07:33,475
Hi, Dad.
163
00:07:34,477 --> 00:07:36,411
Oh, me. Yeah. Hi. Hi, son.
164
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:40,549
What happened to your socks and shoes?
165
00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:41,717
We're grounding.
166
00:07:41,718 --> 00:07:44,119
Harris and I are gonna do
it this weekend with Blue.
167
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,955
She says it's a way to be more
connected to Mother Earth.
168
00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:49,758
Uncle David's girlfriend, Blue,
says God is in the dirt.
169
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:53,962
You replaced this wonderful woman
170
00:07:53,963 --> 00:07:56,265
with "God is in the dirt" woman?
171
00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:02,738
Great to see you, Geena.
172
00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:04,773
I see the war has softened you.
173
00:08:09,463 --> 00:08:12,298
Hello, everyone. Name's Becky.
174
00:08:12,299 --> 00:08:15,368
Not gonna lie, I'm also
the boss's daughter.
175
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,100
Just because I may own
this business one day
176
00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:19,868
should not affect how you treat me.
177
00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:26,541
Good morning, Miss Healy.
178
00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:29,177
Nice to see you on time
for your first day.
179
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:31,880
What's in here?
180
00:08:31,881 --> 00:08:33,148
Water. Duh!
181
00:08:34,017 --> 00:08:36,885
Water has bubbles when you shake it.
182
00:08:36,886 --> 00:08:38,654
There's no bubbles when I shake this.
183
00:08:38,655 --> 00:08:40,722
This vodka?
184
00:08:40,723 --> 00:08:42,391
Oh, my God.
185
00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:43,725
Okay...
186
00:08:43,726 --> 00:08:45,894
Who put vodka in my water bottle?
187
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,230
Dwight?
188
00:08:48,231 --> 00:08:49,898
So not cool, man.
189
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:54,002
Guys, would you go out
and unload my truck?
190
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:55,103
Thanks.
191
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,041
What the hell's going on?
192
00:08:59,042 --> 00:09:00,809
It's 6:30 in the morning.
193
00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:02,310
Sorry, Dad.
194
00:09:02,311 --> 00:09:03,345
I usually take a shot
195
00:09:03,346 --> 00:09:05,714
before I start at the restaurant.
196
00:09:05,715 --> 00:09:08,717
Sober Becky wasn't
getting really good tips.
197
00:09:08,718 --> 00:09:10,052
Here's a tip...
198
00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:11,219
if somebody gets hurt on this job,
199
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,754
I lose my license.
200
00:09:12,755 --> 00:09:15,023
That's why I have
a zero-tolerance policy
201
00:09:15,024 --> 00:09:16,758
for alcohol!
202
00:09:16,759 --> 00:09:18,360
And the union's okay with that?
203
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:22,030
Is this going to be a problem?
204
00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:23,732
Okay, fine.
205
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:26,068
Sober Becky it is.
206
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:28,136
We'll all get to know her together.
207
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:31,773
How come those glasses are still full?
208
00:09:31,774 --> 00:09:32,741
Ha ha!
209
00:09:32,742 --> 00:09:33,909
Señoritas' night.
210
00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:35,143
I-I want to have fun.
211
00:09:35,144 --> 00:09:37,879
I just keep thinking about how
David and his crazy girlfriend
212
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,514
are playing house with my kids.
213
00:09:39,515 --> 00:09:41,049
Well, you're here, you're out,
214
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:42,851
you're two shots away
from losing Darlene
215
00:09:42,852 --> 00:09:44,019
and discovering...
216
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:46,288
Dah-leenah!
217
00:09:50,259 --> 00:09:52,094
Look, I know it's hard to hear,
218
00:09:52,095 --> 00:09:55,130
but David found someone,
and so should you.
219
00:09:55,131 --> 00:09:57,299
There is a room full of guys here.
220
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,567
And you're a catch.
221
00:09:58,568 --> 00:09:59,801
You're an educated,
222
00:09:59,802 --> 00:10:02,170
diabetes-free woman in Lanford?
223
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:05,440
There's only two of us.
224
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:08,143
All right, let's make this
a drinking game.
225
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:09,578
Every time we spot
a guy who looks like
226
00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:11,146
he doesn't have a job,
we take a drink,
227
00:10:11,147 --> 00:10:12,814
and then you'll have the courage
228
00:10:12,815 --> 00:10:14,349
to approach the ones who do.
229
00:10:15,651 --> 00:10:16,794
I'm in.
230
00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:20,756
Plaid shirt at two o'clock.
Check it out.
231
00:10:20,757 --> 00:10:23,425
He's wearing a watch
with a leather band.
232
00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:25,594
Yeah, but nobody
wears a watch anymore.
233
00:10:25,595 --> 00:10:27,095
That means he can't afford a phone.
234
00:10:27,096 --> 00:10:28,864
No job!
235
00:10:30,967 --> 00:10:32,067
Hey.
236
00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:34,269
That guy's stitches are even.
237
00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:36,171
Them there's doctor stitches.
238
00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:38,340
Healthcare... job!
239
00:10:40,109 --> 00:10:42,778
If you're not gonna hit that, I will.
240
00:10:42,779 --> 00:10:44,980
Okay, this is pathetic.
241
00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:47,082
Hunting for men or
our lives aren't complete?
242
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:48,784
We're better than that.
243
00:10:48,785 --> 00:10:49,785
Excuse me.
244
00:10:49,786 --> 00:10:50,819
Sorry.
245
00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:51,853
Can I buy you a drink?
246
00:10:51,854 --> 00:10:53,088
Oh, hi. Yeah, sure.
247
00:10:53,089 --> 00:10:54,956
Gin and tonic?
248
00:10:54,957 --> 00:10:56,024
Yes.
249
00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:56,958
While you're doing that,
250
00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:59,661
I'm gonna get the 411
on Stitches for ya.
251
00:11:01,264 --> 00:11:02,798
Uh, two gin and tonics, please.
252
00:11:02,799 --> 00:11:04,599
I'm sorry. W-What kind
of gin do you prefer?
253
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,834
Oh, you choose.
254
00:11:05,835 --> 00:11:06,935
Sure, yeah, yeah.
255
00:11:06,936 --> 00:11:09,271
Sometimes the man chooses.
256
00:11:09,272 --> 00:11:11,006
Uh, well...
257
00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:14,209
Let's see, they got the one with
the fancy English guard guy.
258
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,111
But, you know,
once you put the tonic in,
259
00:11:16,112 --> 00:11:17,712
it most likely is gonna
taste the same anyway.
260
00:11:17,713 --> 00:11:18,647
You know what?
261
00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:20,148
We should probably
be looking at tonics.
262
00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:22,884
Uh, d-do you have a list of tonics?
263
00:11:22,885 --> 00:11:23,819
Um...
264
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:26,388
Two English guard guys
and your best tonic.
265
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:29,224
Y-You're not with somebody, right?
266
00:11:29,225 --> 00:11:32,194
Oh, no, I was, but that was, like,
267
00:11:32,195 --> 00:11:33,628
20 years ago, so I think I'm free.
268
00:11:35,298 --> 00:11:36,965
Uh, I'm Darlene.
269
00:11:36,966 --> 00:11:38,200
I-I got to tell you, I...
270
00:11:38,201 --> 00:11:39,568
I love your curly hair.
271
00:11:39,569 --> 00:11:40,502
But you probably hate it, right?
272
00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:42,704
Everybody always wants
what they don't have.
273
00:11:42,705 --> 00:11:43,605
I'm sorry.
274
00:11:43,606 --> 00:11:46,074
I'm sorry. I'm kind of
a direct person.
275
00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:47,909
I assume you're talking to me because,
276
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:51,146
at some point, you want all
this small talk to lead to sex?
277
00:11:51,147 --> 00:11:52,347
It doesn't have to.
278
00:11:52,348 --> 00:11:53,381
No, no, no, it's okay.
279
00:11:53,382 --> 00:11:55,016
I'm seriously considering it.
280
00:11:58,020 --> 00:11:59,154
Stitches was a bust.
281
00:12:00,857 --> 00:12:02,424
Horse kicked him in the head.
282
00:12:02,425 --> 00:12:03,525
He's not all there.
283
00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:10,198
Hey.
284
00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:11,499
Oh, hey. Hi, you.
285
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,068
Uh, I was just on my way out.
286
00:12:13,069 --> 00:12:14,169
Let me get my shoes on.
287
00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:18,273
Do you mind if we go inside
and talk for a minute?
288
00:12:18,274 --> 00:12:19,941
Oh, yeah, just... just a minute.
289
00:12:19,942 --> 00:12:22,444
I'm late to the place
I was clearly on my way to.
290
00:12:26,182 --> 00:12:28,283
I just thought I'd stop by
and give you an update
291
00:12:28,284 --> 00:12:30,852
on how things are going.
292
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,053
Uh...
293
00:12:32,054 --> 00:12:33,788
Mark's fine and...
294
00:12:33,789 --> 00:12:35,123
Harris is fine, too.
295
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,692
Why would you come over here
296
00:12:37,693 --> 00:12:39,227
to tell me everything's fine?
297
00:12:39,228 --> 00:12:40,896
All right, uh...
298
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:43,164
Something happened
but nothing's wrong.
299
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:46,334
Does it look like
I'm enjoying this game?
300
00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:51,573
Harris had a friend over, um...
301
00:12:51,574 --> 00:12:54,342
a boy... and they had sex.
302
00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:57,646
What?!
303
00:12:57,647 --> 00:12:58,914
Wha... How... What do you...
304
00:12:58,915 --> 00:13:00,282
How could you let this happen?!
305
00:13:00,283 --> 00:13:02,717
I was at work and I-I know
that's no excuse
306
00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:04,319
and I-I feel horrible.
307
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,320
Wait, w-why were you at work
308
00:13:05,321 --> 00:13:07,222
when you were supposed
to be watching our kids?!
309
00:13:07,223 --> 00:13:08,023
I couldn't help it.
310
00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,591
I started my job at Trader Joe's,
311
00:13:09,592 --> 00:13:10,759
and they made me work overtime
312
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,660
to do all the stupid chalkboards.
313
00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:16,364
They really like my drawings,
314
00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:18,667
which makes me feel good,
but on the other hand...
315
00:13:18,668 --> 00:13:19,668
David!
316
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:20,802
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
317
00:13:20,803 --> 00:13:24,139
Look, I-I-I was just as upset
as you are right now,
318
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:25,740
but...
319
00:13:25,741 --> 00:13:27,809
here's the good news.
320
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:29,244
Blue was there
321
00:13:29,245 --> 00:13:31,179
and Harris ended up
telling her what happened
322
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:33,748
and they really bonded over it.
323
00:13:33,749 --> 00:13:34,683
Oh, good.
324
00:13:34,684 --> 00:13:36,818
That's the first thing
I was worried about...
325
00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:38,953
how will this affect Blue?!
326
00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:41,423
I know that there's
a lot to talk about,
327
00:13:41,424 --> 00:13:45,160
and we will, but I
have to go to work now.
328
00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:47,128
I n... I need this job.
329
00:13:47,129 --> 00:13:49,264
They want me to open early
to stock the stone fruit.
330
00:13:49,265 --> 00:13:51,266
It... It's actually a pretty
big vote of confidence.
331
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,300
Where are you going?
332
00:13:52,301 --> 00:13:55,503
To your house to get my kids.
333
00:13:55,504 --> 00:13:56,738
Stop!
334
00:13:58,941 --> 00:14:00,175
What?!
335
00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:04,179
I don't know. I didn't expect
the "stop" to work, so...
336
00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:10,037
Where are they?
337
00:14:10,038 --> 00:14:12,640
David told me you would
probably be upset.
338
00:14:12,641 --> 00:14:13,407
Come here.
339
00:14:13,408 --> 00:14:14,541
Don't touch me!
340
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:16,810
I want my kids.
341
00:14:16,811 --> 00:14:19,346
Well, they're upstairs
getting ready to go.
342
00:14:19,347 --> 00:14:20,881
Harris!
343
00:14:20,882 --> 00:14:21,882
You know what?
344
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:23,884
I... As soon as you found
out this happened,
345
00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:25,486
you should have called me.
346
00:14:25,487 --> 00:14:27,254
I don't have a cellphone.
347
00:14:29,257 --> 00:14:31,492
They kill bees.
348
00:14:31,493 --> 00:14:32,893
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
349
00:14:32,894 --> 00:14:35,562
See, I didn't realize
you're out of your mind.
350
00:14:36,765 --> 00:14:38,732
That explains how
you got suckered into
351
00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:41,035
letting a 16-year-old
be alone with a boy.
352
00:14:41,036 --> 00:14:43,337
Harris did not trick me, okay?
353
00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:46,840
We had a very powerful
discussion about sex
354
00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:47,841
and the female body
355
00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:49,877
and getting our needs met
356
00:14:49,878 --> 00:14:51,445
before anything even happened.
357
00:14:51,446 --> 00:14:53,781
Do not move!
358
00:14:53,782 --> 00:14:56,917
You're saying you knew about
this before it happened?
359
00:14:56,918 --> 00:15:00,954
You crystal-licking,
patchouli-smelling hippie bitch!
360
00:15:02,924 --> 00:15:04,925
Hey. I, uh...
361
00:15:04,926 --> 00:15:06,393
forgot my chalk.
362
00:15:07,228 --> 00:15:08,328
So...
363
00:15:09,964 --> 00:15:11,398
...how's everything going?
364
00:15:11,399 --> 00:15:14,702
Um, Darlene is working
through her anger
365
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:16,937
to get to a more mature place.
366
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,672
I will kill you! O-Okay,
okay, all right.
367
00:15:19,774 --> 00:15:22,042
That's... That's... That's
a good... starting point.
368
00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:24,945
Uh, Blue, how do you feel
about Darlene wanting to...
369
00:15:24,946 --> 00:15:26,046
kill you?
370
00:15:26,881 --> 00:15:29,083
I think you should get her
out of our house.
371
00:15:29,084 --> 00:15:31,051
Oh, my pleasure, Blue.
372
00:15:31,052 --> 00:15:32,986
Harris, why don't you go
upstairs and get your stuff
373
00:15:32,987 --> 00:15:35,422
and find your brother and knock
the crack pipe out of his hand
374
00:15:35,423 --> 00:15:37,024
and meet me in the car!
375
00:15:42,764 --> 00:15:45,566
Hey, Mark, I'm about to talk
to your sister about sex.
376
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:46,934
You want to listen in?
377
00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:49,303
Okay, he can't hear anything.
378
00:15:50,772 --> 00:15:52,473
Okay, first of all...
379
00:15:53,508 --> 00:15:54,842
...are you okay?
380
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:55,709
Yes.
381
00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:58,245
Well, how well do you know this boy?
382
00:15:58,246 --> 00:15:59,480
Pretty well.
383
00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:00,581
Better now.
384
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:05,085
Look, I know you're mad at me,
but I'm not stupid.
385
00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:08,122
I've heard everything you've said
to me about sex since I was 11.
386
00:16:08,123 --> 00:16:10,090
Well, then, why didn't you come to me?
387
00:16:10,091 --> 00:16:12,826
Did you tell your mom
you were going to have sex?
388
00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:15,629
No. My mom relentlessly grilled me.
389
00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:17,264
That's why I didn't push you.
390
00:16:17,265 --> 00:16:20,133
I was waiting for you to talk
to me when you were ready.
391
00:16:25,673 --> 00:16:27,141
What's up?
392
00:16:27,142 --> 00:16:28,976
Just checking my texts.
393
00:16:30,145 --> 00:16:32,513
Oh, nothing from him?
394
00:16:32,514 --> 00:16:34,681
Not yet.
395
00:16:34,682 --> 00:16:36,984
I'm sorry. Boys can be really stupid.
396
00:16:36,985 --> 00:16:39,086
They're training for being men.
397
00:16:42,657 --> 00:16:44,858
He'll call.
398
00:16:44,859 --> 00:16:47,594
You know, or he won't, and
you'll be fine either way.
399
00:16:49,531 --> 00:16:51,565
So, your big thing is that...
400
00:16:51,566 --> 00:16:54,501
you want me to come to you with all
my personal problems and stuff,
401
00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:56,069
and you won't judge me?
402
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:58,372
Yeah, that's exactly what I want.
403
00:16:58,373 --> 00:17:01,975
Okay, then we need to stop at a drug
store for a morning-after pill,
404
00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:04,645
because I'm worried
- that we used the condom wrong.
405
00:17:04,646 --> 00:17:06,647
I know I'm old enough
to get the pill by myself,
406
00:17:06,648 --> 00:17:08,749
but I'd feel better
if you came with me.
407
00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:12,686
Who talks to their mom
about that kind of stuff?
408
00:17:15,857 --> 00:17:18,358
Hey, Deej. I bought
the "Mamma Mia!" soundtrack.
409
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:19,359
You want to listen?
410
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:20,894
Score! Yes!
411
00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:26,233
Okay, great. I wanted
to talk to you in private.
412
00:17:28,102 --> 00:17:29,837
What's up?
413
00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:31,905
I've been thinking
about what you said...
414
00:17:31,906 --> 00:17:34,041
and you're right.
415
00:17:34,042 --> 00:17:36,777
I don't actually think
I can go a whole day...
416
00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:39,413
...without drinking.
417
00:17:39,414 --> 00:17:42,015
Okay. I want to hear a plan.
418
00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:44,184
I believe I can give you
419
00:17:44,185 --> 00:17:46,086
a good half-day's work for now...
420
00:17:47,255 --> 00:17:49,923
...and then work on getting
the other half together.
421
00:17:49,924 --> 00:17:53,594
W-What are we talkin' about?
A month? A year?
422
00:17:53,595 --> 00:17:55,596
Until after Oktoberfest?
423
00:17:55,597 --> 00:17:59,066
I forgot about Oktoberfest.
I love Oktoberfest.
424
00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:02,970
I'm gonna give you six weeks,
425
00:18:02,971 --> 00:18:05,372
and if you still don't
have it under control,
426
00:18:05,373 --> 00:18:06,807
I'm gonna have to pull the job.
427
00:18:06,808 --> 00:18:08,208
I know I can stop.
428
00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:09,309
I hope so.
429
00:18:11,112 --> 00:18:13,146
Pierce Brosnan is a much better singer
430
00:18:13,147 --> 00:18:14,748
than he gets credit for!
431
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:25,158
Hey. What do you want?
432
00:18:25,159 --> 00:18:27,227
I'd like to say goodnight to the kids.
433
00:18:27,228 --> 00:18:29,096
Okay, Mark is already asleep,
434
00:18:29,097 --> 00:18:31,597
but if you want, you can go tuck
Harris and her boyfriend in.
435
00:18:33,334 --> 00:18:34,901
I deserve that.
436
00:18:37,805 --> 00:18:40,007
Oh, before you go up, we should talk.
437
00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:41,842
Look, I-I know I screwed up.
438
00:18:41,843 --> 00:18:43,977
The only thing I can say
is that, in the future,
439
00:18:43,978 --> 00:18:45,579
I will watch her like a hawk.
440
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,147
Yeah, you better, because from now on,
441
00:18:47,148 --> 00:18:49,583
they're not coming over
unless you're gonna be home.
442
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,985
And Blue can't be part
of parenting decisions.
443
00:18:51,986 --> 00:18:55,822
Fine. But she's going to be
a part of the kids' lives.
444
00:18:55,823 --> 00:18:58,091
She's gonna be at all
the major life events,
445
00:18:58,092 --> 00:19:01,128
like high-school graduations
and college drop-offs.
446
00:19:01,129 --> 00:19:02,162
Okay, great.
447
00:19:02,163 --> 00:19:04,264
If... If any of our kids
graduate from high school
448
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:05,966
or go to college,
449
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,348
you can bring Blue and all the
rest of the primary colors.
450
00:19:10,204 --> 00:19:12,940
Will you quit making fun of her name?
451
00:19:12,941 --> 00:19:13,941
They named her Blue
452
00:19:13,942 --> 00:19:16,243
because she wasn't
breathing when she was born.
453
00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:20,580
Wow. That explains a lot.
454
00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:26,053
Um... there's one last thing.
455
00:19:26,054 --> 00:19:27,154
Yeah.
456
00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:33,026
It's clear that things are serious
457
00:19:33,027 --> 00:19:35,162
with you and Blue, so...
458
00:19:37,298 --> 00:19:40,167
...um, I think it's time
we get a divorce.
459
00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:42,202
Yeah, sure, no, I'm...
460
00:19:42,203 --> 00:19:43,370
It makes sense.
461
00:19:46,908 --> 00:19:49,543
It's gonna be weird
not being married to you.
462
00:19:49,544 --> 00:19:51,144
Yeah, I would've thought it got weird
463
00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,105
when you started living
with another woman, but...
464
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:57,184
Yeah.
465
00:19:57,185 --> 00:19:58,819
Yeah.
466
00:20:01,756 --> 00:20:05,192
I-It'll be weird not being
married to you, too.
467
00:20:07,528 --> 00:20:09,229
What's up?
468
00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:11,231
Oh, um, nothing.
469
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,434
I don't know, actually, um...
470
00:20:14,435 --> 00:20:16,336
I don't know why I'm hiding this.
471
00:20:16,337 --> 00:20:17,771
Uh...
472
00:20:17,772 --> 00:20:20,507
I-I met a guy at the bar
the other night,
473
00:20:20,508 --> 00:20:24,044
and, uh, he wants to go out on Friday.
474
00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:25,145
With me.
475
00:20:26,581 --> 00:20:27,781
Cool.
476
00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:31,084
So you like him?
477
00:20:31,085 --> 00:20:34,721
Oh, I don't know. I mean,
we only went out once.
478
00:20:34,722 --> 00:20:37,057
But, you know, I think
he could be my soulmate.
479
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:51,797
They're old enough
to behave like adults,
480
00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:53,632
but they don't think like adults.
481
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:55,033
You just got to hang in there.
482
00:20:55,969 --> 00:20:58,259
I don't know how you handled it,
483
00:20:58,260 --> 00:21:01,695
with me sneaking in and out of
Darlene's bedroom all the time.
484
00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:03,798
You guys were right downstairs
when we were going at it.
485
00:21:03,799 --> 00:21:05,466
We weren't exactly quiet.
486
00:21:13,475 --> 00:21:15,042
You know, David...
487
00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:16,444
If you disappeared,
488
00:21:16,445 --> 00:21:19,179
everybody would think
you just ran off again.
489
00:21:20,715 --> 00:21:23,317
I pushed too hard. I felt it.
490
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:31,098
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490
00:21:32,305 --> 00:21:38,310
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