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PHIL: Okay, honey, doorbell's installed.
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- How's it sound?
- DOORBELL: Welcome to hell!
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[LAUGHS EVILLY]
4
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That is so cute!
5
00:00:07,792 --> 00:00:09,826
Can you come in here
and help me with this web?
6
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Sorry, gotta fly.
7
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I'm gonna do that one again
when there's more people around.
8
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,732
Okay. So, you got to
put that up on the hook
9
00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:18,201
because the trick-or-treaters
are gonna be here any minute.
10
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I'm caught.
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Don't pull. It's just gonna get...
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- Oh.
- ...worse.
13
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- No, I can, uh...
- N... Stop moving.
14
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I'm gonna get some scissors.
15
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[CELLPHONE RINGING]
16
00:00:29,247 --> 00:00:30,780
[BEEP]
17
00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:32,415
Hey, Jerry.
18
00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:33,549
What's wrong?
19
00:00:34,645 --> 00:00:36,145
When?
20
00:00:36,247 --> 00:00:37,747
How?
21
00:00:37,839 --> 00:00:39,238
Oh, thank God you're back.
22
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,374
There's a real spider in here,
and it's getting closer.
23
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,876
That was Jerry, my mom's husband.
24
00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:46,712
- Is everything okay?
- No.
25
00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:48,714
- My mom's dead.
- What?
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00:00:59,194 --> 00:01:04,194
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
27
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I can't believe Nana's gone.
28
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[SCOFFS]
If God really is an old white guy,
29
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he's about to get an earful.
30
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- [DOOR OPENS]
- Oh, my God, Claire.
31
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:14,210
[GASPS] Mitchell.
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- Uh...
- Wait, can you...
33
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- I think...
- I don't know how to...
34
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- Help. Please help. Thank you.
- Oh!
35
00:01:20,697 --> 00:01:23,300
[BOTH CRYING]
36
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[SIGHS] All right.
37
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Who are you supposed to be?
38
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Ah, I'm Pr... I'm Prince Harry.
39
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Oh, does that mean Cam is...
40
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Hear ye, hear ye,
41
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presenting
the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan...
42
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No, no, no, no, no.
That was for Pepper's party.
43
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We're not doing that anymore.
Go console your cousins.
44
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- CLAIRE: Oh, hey.
- Oh, sweetie.
45
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- Let me get in there.
- Oh, hang on. Oh...
46
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- All right, get up.
- I had the same issue with this.
47
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- Just...
- Okay, there it is.
48
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:48,450
- Ohh.
- Oh, sweetie.
49
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- Who needs a drink?
- I do.
50
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Okay, how are we gonna handle this?
51
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You mean because the two most
52
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emotionally complicated people on earth
are facing the loss
53
00:01:57,270 --> 00:01:59,600
of the most complicated relationship
of their lives?
54
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So...not an edible arrangement.
55
00:02:01,832 --> 00:02:03,640
We just have to be there for them.
56
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,332
Whatever they need. I...
57
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,767
It just feels inappropriate
58
00:02:05,869 --> 00:02:07,769
- being dressed like this.
- Yeah.
59
00:02:07,871 --> 00:02:10,305
I should be in something darker
with a cap sleeve.
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00:02:11,341 --> 00:02:12,440
[SIGHS]
61
00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,776
This is so surreal.
I-I can't believe this.
62
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I-I just talked to her
right before she left.
63
00:02:17,214 --> 00:02:18,780
She was so excited about
her trip to Greenland
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- with her women's group.
- Mm.
65
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,282
Still no word on what happened?
66
00:02:21,385 --> 00:02:22,617
No. Jerry called.
67
00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:24,520
He said that she had a heart problem
68
00:02:24,154 --> 00:02:25,286
she didn't want to talk about,
69
00:02:25,389 --> 00:02:26,955
but we're still not sure if that's it.
70
00:02:27,570 --> 00:02:29,124
He did promise to reach out
as soon as he has some answers.
71
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Well, we're here to support you
in any way we can.
72
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Yeah. Anything you need,
anything at all, we're on it.
73
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- Soup?
- Tissues?
74
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Try this meditation exercise.
75
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:41,536
Yeah, no, you guys
are being so sweet. I just...
76
00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:43,538
Yeah, but w-we cope with things
77
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a little less touchy-feely
and a little more...
78
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,430
- Irish. Yes.
- Right. Right.
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You know, have some drinks,
tell some funny stories.
80
00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,148
Mm. Do you remember the time
Mom was so mad
81
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,316
because "Laverne and Shirley"
moved to California?
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[LAUGHTER]
83
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,420
Or, no, remember how she used to always
84
00:02:58,522 --> 00:02:59,754
bring her own ice cubes to restaurants?
85
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Oh, God, yes!
86
00:03:01,525 --> 00:03:04,159
Remember when she got
thrown out of Scientology?
87
00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:05,427
[PHIL AND CAM LAUGHING]
88
00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:06,761
[LAUGHTER STOPS]
89
00:03:06,863 --> 00:03:08,596
Our mother is dead, Phil.
90
00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:09,931
I-I thought we were...
91
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,670
Maybe you should just
give us a little space?
92
00:03:12,169 --> 00:03:14,436
- Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure.
- Of course. Yes. Sure.
93
00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:16,438
You know, I don't know how
we all feel about the afterlife,
94
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,940
but I myself would like to imagine Dede
95
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,942
surrounded by loved ones, hearing...
96
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,344
Welcome to hell! [LAUGHS EVILLY]
97
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- I'll disconnect that doorbell.
- CLAIRE: Oh, God.
98
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Hey.
99
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We were out trick-or-treating
with the kids.
100
00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:31,252
- Dad.
- We left Joe with Manny,
101
00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:32,587
and we came as soon as we heard.
102
00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:33,822
- So sorry.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
103
00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:35,657
- Come here, you two. Get in here.
- Oh, thanks, Dad.
104
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Yeah. I know. You just have to... Yeah.
105
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Look, I know that your mother
and I had our differences,
106
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but she was a good woman.
107
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:43,599
Yeah.
108
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,167
She, uh...
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Yeah, she had great legs.
110
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Oh. Really? That's your tribute?
111
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Of course not. She was very educated,
112
00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:53,410
as she often told me.
113
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She, um...uh...
114
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She... [STAMMERS]
115
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I can't watch this.
116
00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:01,149
It's like watching a fish panic
at the bottom of a boat.
117
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Uh, she... she gave you us,
your wonderful children.
118
00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:07,122
There you go. And for that
I will always be grateful.
119
00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:09,491
Yeah. We have so much
to be grateful for.
120
00:04:09,593 --> 00:04:12,160
- Mm-hmm.
- She was a wonderful mother.
121
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And I'm... I am so glad that
I was able to tell her that
122
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during our last call.
And I didn't know it at the time,
123
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:21,503
but in a lot of ways,
it was the perfect goodbye.
124
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Huh.
125
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,206
Do we know what happened?
126
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,542
Not yet, no. But you know what?
127
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- I need to be around happy things...
- Yeah.
128
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,214
...cute kids in costumes
trick-or-treating.
129
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,816
I'm gonna go hand out
some Halloween candy.
130
00:04:34,918 --> 00:04:36,818
- I'm good! Good, good!
- I'm... I'm coming with you.
131
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,986
- I'm good.
- We're good.
132
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:39,154
Nah.
133
00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:40,989
Ah, you make plans,
134
00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:42,891
the universe steps in and says "nope."
135
00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:45,226
- Life is so unfair.
- Damn right.
136
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,729
I just waited in a line around the block
137
00:04:47,831 --> 00:04:49,564
for a hoagie everybody's talking about.
138
00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:51,566
Then my ex-wife drops dead,
139
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and I'm too sad to eat it.
140
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,737
I'll give it another hour.
141
00:04:55,839 --> 00:05:00,241
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay.
142
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,278
I don't know why I thought
getting this out would help.
143
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:04,779
What is that?
144
00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,615
Nana had these little
statues of herself made.
145
00:05:07,717 --> 00:05:09,517
They were her Christmas gift
to each of us.
146
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:12,520
Now I feel better about
my stupid well in Africa.
147
00:05:12,622 --> 00:05:14,856
Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard.
148
00:05:14,958 --> 00:05:16,624
You didn't even take
the wrapper off the last one.
149
00:05:16,726 --> 00:05:18,590
I'm sad. Shut up.
150
00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:20,610
I heard that if you die on Halloween,
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you come back as a zombie.
152
00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:23,531
I can see that.
153
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,666
Nana would be all,
154
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"Braaainnssss!
[SNIFFS]
155
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Nope. Braaainnsss!"
156
00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:30,638
Uch! [SIGHS]
157
00:05:31,741 --> 00:05:33,274
I just remember Nana...
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- when we were little, she would...
- [AIR HISSES]
159
00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:36,978
- She would...
- [AIR HISSES]
160
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,880
Oh, my God! What is wrong with you two?!
161
00:05:38,982 --> 00:05:41,282
- [MUFFLED] What?
- Our grandmother just died.
162
00:05:41,351 --> 00:05:42,917
Luke's over here making tasteless jokes,
163
00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:46,354
and you're stuffing your face.
Show some respect!
164
00:05:46,422 --> 00:05:49,924
I am so sorry, what happened
to your grandmother.
165
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,659
She was a wonderful woman.
166
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Thank you, Gloria.
167
00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:55,696
Finally, someone with a normal reaction.
168
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,132
Didn't Nana try to strangle you
three times?
169
00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,100
Yeah, but one of those times,
170
00:06:00,169 --> 00:06:02,369
I was able to see again
my favorite abuela
171
00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:03,671
for one second.
172
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:06,240
So I really should thank Dede.
173
00:06:06,342 --> 00:06:09,977
Anyways, any issues that
your grandmother had with me,
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00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:11,245
they're behind her.
175
00:06:11,347 --> 00:06:14,140
She's at peace.
She's living in a better place.
176
00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,649
What the hell is that?!
177
00:06:15,718 --> 00:06:18,180
Mm. Pretty lifelike, right?
Christmas gift from Nana.
178
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,820
Ah, it's very cute.
179
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:23,257
But it's amazing how her eyes are...
180
00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,959
are following me wherever I go!
181
00:06:26,191 --> 00:06:27,924
I know that this is
going to sound crazy,
182
00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:30,860
but I have always worried
that when Dede died,
183
00:06:30,929 --> 00:06:33,630
she was going to come back and haunt me.
184
00:06:33,732 --> 00:06:36,545
Maybe it's because she whispered
it to me at my wedding.
185
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:38,663
[SINGSONG VOICE] Happy Halloween.
186
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:39,702
[SMOOCHES]
187
00:06:40,718 --> 00:06:41,746
[SIGHS]
188
00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:44,478
Cute. You okay?
189
00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:45,613
Yeah, I was just thinking about
190
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:47,581
this great Halloween with Mom.
191
00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:48,983
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
192
00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,285
I wasn't really fitting in
in high school,
193
00:06:51,354 --> 00:06:53,888
so Mom took me to go get ice cream
194
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:56,524
at this place i-in West Hollywood.
195
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:57,725
And the parade was going on.
196
00:06:57,827 --> 00:07:00,961
And before that,
I had never been to a gay event.
197
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,429
Trick or treat!
198
00:07:02,532 --> 00:07:05,165
Here you go. Happy Halloween.
199
00:07:05,268 --> 00:07:06,500
The thing is,
200
00:07:06,602 --> 00:07:08,402
she didn't force me to talk about it.
201
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:09,737
She just let it be. You know?
202
00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:11,572
And I-I think that
that was her way of saying
203
00:07:11,674 --> 00:07:13,940
that she was okay with me. [SIGHS]
204
00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:15,586
I remember once Mom told me
205
00:07:15,688 --> 00:07:18,689
that I ate ice cream like a prostitute.
206
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:20,357
- Ugghh, come on.
- [GROANS]
207
00:07:20,459 --> 00:07:21,525
Wh-Why haven't we heard anything yet
208
00:07:21,627 --> 00:07:23,827
about what happened to her?
This is ridiculous!
209
00:07:23,929 --> 00:07:25,662
I know. It's bad enough we lost our mom.
210
00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:28,665
Now we just have to sit here
expecting the worst.
211
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,167
BOTH: Heyyy.
212
00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:31,501
Uh, heard some raised voices,
213
00:07:31,604 --> 00:07:32,669
- just making...
- Where have you guys been?
214
00:07:32,671 --> 00:07:33,770
Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed,
215
00:07:33,872 --> 00:07:35,105
but we're kind of going through
something today.
216
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,940
Well, you s-said you wanted some space,
217
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,942
- so we were giving you...
- So now you're gonna logic us to death?
218
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,144
Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's
what we need right now.
219
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:44,694
I am totally confused
220
00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,963
- about what we're supposed to do.
- No. I have an idea.
221
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,399
Mitchell was just talking about
a great memory he had
222
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,968
of Dede taking him for ice cream
in West Hollywood.
223
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:54,837
We could go pick some up...
it would be a perfect tribute.
224
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,305
That's great.
225
00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:58,441
Plus, I don't know why, but there's...
226
00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:00,710
there's something about the way
Claire eats ice cream
227
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:03,579
that I just... enjoy.
228
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:05,158
I just wish I could remember
the name of it.
229
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:06,960
- I'm on it. Anderson Scooper?
- No.
230
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,228
Priscilla Queen of the Desserts?
231
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:09,863
- Mnh-mnh.
- Sherbert and Ernie?
232
00:08:09,932 --> 00:08:11,665
Mnh-mnh. It was something very specific.
233
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:13,700
West Hollywood Ice Cream Shop?
234
00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:15,969
- That's it. Let's go.
- This can't be happening.
235
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,705
- Ohh.
- Aw, Jay, it's a hard day.
236
00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:19,873
Tell me.
237
00:08:19,942 --> 00:08:21,842
I put a sandwich in there
with my name on it
238
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,177
10 minutes ago, and now it's missing.
239
00:08:24,347 --> 00:08:26,547
- Who the hell took it?!
- Really? On a day like today,
240
00:08:26,616 --> 00:08:28,849
you can get this worked up
over a sandwich?
241
00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:30,451
Come here.
242
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,119
Yeah. Hey. It's okay.
243
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,254
- Ohh.
- [SNIFFING]
244
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:34,722
You're smelling us.
245
00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,523
I smell guilt and pickles.
246
00:08:38,339 --> 00:08:39,872
- [BANG ON DOOR]
- Aah!
247
00:08:39,941 --> 00:08:41,340
Sorry, fireman habit.
248
00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:42,808
Your mom said you were up here.
249
00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:44,510
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- You're the best boyfriend.
250
00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:46,245
That's her, huh?
251
00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:47,546
Yep.
252
00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:48,681
People said she was difficult,
253
00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:50,483
but she was an amazing woman
254
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:51,951
who didn't conform to anyone's idea
255
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,286
of who she should be.
256
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,871
There are a lot of photos of her
being escorted out of places.
257
00:08:56,973 --> 00:08:59,741
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
258
00:08:59,809 --> 00:09:02,510
Well, it must feel good to know that...
259
00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:05,747
I mean not good.
Everything must feel bad.
260
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,383
I'm sorry. I'm bad
at this whole death thing.
261
00:09:08,451 --> 00:09:09,851
And I see a lot of it at work.
262
00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:13,221
I mean, nobody ever feeds
the station goldfish.
263
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,356
It's not just hard for you.
264
00:09:15,425 --> 00:09:17,792
My brother can't stop cracking jokes,
265
00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:20,728
my sister's eating
like a bear about to hibernate,
266
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,931
and meanwhile,
I'm just sitting here thinking,
267
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,603
"Wow, you're here one second,
and then poof...
268
00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:29,705
you're not."
269
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:34,420
I know how sad you must be.
270
00:09:36,182 --> 00:09:37,215
Take off your shirt.
271
00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:38,549
- What?
- Fine.
272
00:09:38,651 --> 00:09:40,585
- I'll run things.
- Wow.
273
00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:44,956
[GASPS]
274
00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,910
[CHUCKLES] Okay, very funny!
275
00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:50,528
Who did this?!
276
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:53,831
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
277
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,967
Santa María, Madre de Dios,
ruega por nosotros pecadores.
278
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:57,802
Santa María, Madre de Dios,
ruega por nosotros pecadores,
279
00:09:57,871 --> 00:10:01,720
ahora y en la hora... [GASPS] Aah!
280
00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:03,400
Santa María, Madre de Dios,
ruega por nosotros pecadores,
281
00:10:03,109 --> 00:10:05,309
ahora y en la hora
de nuestra muerte. Amen.
282
00:10:07,986 --> 00:10:10,425
Hey, I haven't seen Alex
since she yelled at us.
283
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:11,459
Is she okay up there?
284
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,940
Now that I think about it,
285
00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,129
it did sound like
she was crying a minute ago.
286
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:18,700
We should check on her.
This is classic Alex.
287
00:10:18,802 --> 00:10:21,200
She's criticizing how
we're processing Nana's death
288
00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:23,471
because she doesn't know what
to do with her own feelings.
289
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,274
Meanwhile, she's taking it
harder than anybody.
290
00:10:26,342 --> 00:10:28,420
- ALEX: Aah! Get out!
- BILL: Oh, that's not good.
291
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:30,812
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [BOTH GROANING LOUDLY]
292
00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:31,946
Ohh!
293
00:10:32,635 --> 00:10:34,335
Do you remember when, um,
294
00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:35,969
she wouldn't pay for my voice lessons
295
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,905
because she said
she wanted to save the money
296
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:39,506
in case I ended up with Dad's nose?
297
00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:42,176
You know, we... we could stick
to nice stories today.
298
00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:45,446
Mom was a real person. She was flawed.
299
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:48,215
She made me wear pants to prom.
300
00:10:48,284 --> 00:10:49,650
She said it would "slow down"
301
00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:51,685
whatever mistake I was about to make.
302
00:10:51,787 --> 00:10:53,821
Well, I guess I never
brought out that side of her.
303
00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:56,890
Or maybe you just let her
get away with everything.
304
00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:58,599
- I... [STAMMERS]
- Trick or treat!
305
00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,967
Happy Halloween!
306
00:11:00,350 --> 00:11:01,769
What are you...
What are you supposed to be?
307
00:11:01,837 --> 00:11:03,704
- I was gonna go as a unicorn...
- Uh-huh.
308
00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:06,807
...but then I decided to be pajama girl.
309
00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:08,909
That was two weeks of sewing well spent.
310
00:11:08,977 --> 00:11:10,210
Well, kids don't always appreciate
311
00:11:10,279 --> 00:11:11,511
what moms do for them.
312
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,679
Moms can be controlling.
313
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:13,707
Well, sometimes moms don't want
314
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,415
their daughters to embarrass themselves.
315
00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:16,616
Embarrass?
316
00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:18,819
Like throwing a surprise
moon goddess party
317
00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:20,720
for their daughter's first period?
318
00:11:20,823 --> 00:11:23,190
It was a celebration of your womanhood!
319
00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:25,358
Every year I say I'm not coming
back to this house.
320
00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:26,827
Okay. Just today... Oh, God.
321
00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:29,496
Just... Just today, could you not harp
322
00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:32,132
on how awful Mom was to you?
323
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,733
She would have done anything for us!
324
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:38,738
Mitchell, just because Mom is dead
doesn't make her a saint!
325
00:11:38,841 --> 00:11:40,740
- Hey.
- What?
326
00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:43,877
You're scaring the kids.
327
00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,352
Ugh. What is wrong with me?
328
00:11:49,454 --> 00:11:50,987
Nothing is wrong with you.
329
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,189
You're just a freak that
gets turned on by tragedies.
330
00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:55,759
Oh, my God. Is that why
I'm dating a firefighter?
331
00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:57,694
Oh, I hope I'm more to you
than that, babe.
332
00:11:57,763 --> 00:12:00,363
By the way, there was
a plane crash in Tustin.
333
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:05,391
You know, there's a deep
psycho-spiritual connection
334
00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,525
between sex and death.
335
00:12:06,594 --> 00:12:07,994
Look at Freud. Thanatos, Eros...
336
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:09,729
locked in an eternal struggle.
337
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,530
How do you know any of those words?
338
00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:14,660
I don't know. Maybe I remembered
something from school somehow.
339
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,868
They say everything you've ever heard
340
00:12:15,937 --> 00:12:18,571
is locked in your brain somewhere.
Another fun fact...
341
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,474
your brain burns 20%
of the calories you consume.
342
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:23,900
- [BEEP]
- My burrito!
343
00:12:23,111 --> 00:12:25,111
Another one?
344
00:12:25,213 --> 00:12:26,412
Oh, my God.
345
00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:28,487
I think your brain is finally working
346
00:12:28,556 --> 00:12:30,890
because, for the first time ever,
347
00:12:30,157 --> 00:12:31,357
you're not starving yourself.
348
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,726
That is a credible hypothesis.
349
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,528
Huh. Eating, are we?
350
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,464
You didn't happen
to grab an Italian hero
351
00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:40,331
out of the fridge, did you?
352
00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:41,942
Nope, but that sounds delicious.
353
00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:43,878
I'd go to town
on an Italian hero right now.
354
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,379
That's funny,
'cause Alex just finished...
355
00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:47,615
I will rip your tongue out.
356
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,717
- [HORN HONKING]
- Oh, my gosh.
357
00:12:49,786 --> 00:12:51,318
What was I thinking
coming to West Hollywood
358
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:52,653
on Halloween night?
359
00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:54,121
- [BEEPING CONTINUES]
- Hey.
360
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,589
Give the horn a rest.
The parade's going by.
361
00:12:55,658 --> 00:12:57,591
- You're gonna be sitting here a while.
- Sorry, Officer.
362
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,897
I don't get down
to this part of town that often.
363
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,332
That's... That's not a real cop, right?
364
00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:07,200
Uh... mm, no.
365
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:09,136
You know, I'm impressed
you're still wearing that dress.
366
00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,904
Oh, well, I'm wearing two pair of Spanx
367
00:13:10,973 --> 00:13:13,907
and was on a diuretic for 48 hours.
As we say where I'm from,
368
00:13:13,976 --> 00:13:15,509
you don't teach your dog
to play the banjo
369
00:13:15,578 --> 00:13:17,811
and then skip the talent show.
[CHUCKLES]
370
00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:21,447
Oh, man.
371
00:13:21,516 --> 00:13:23,490
This ice cream is gonna melt.
372
00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:26,152
Well, grab a spoon.
373
00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:30,560
- Somebody should enjoy it.
- Yeah.
374
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:33,293
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
375
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,727
[LID CLATTERS]
376
00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:38,264
You know, we've been so focused
on Mitchell and Claire,
377
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,167
I haven't had a chance to really...
378
00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:43,269
Yeah. I know.
379
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:45,404
First time I met her,
she threatened to murder me
380
00:13:45,473 --> 00:13:47,506
- if I ever made her son unhappy.
- [LAUGHS]
381
00:13:47,575 --> 00:13:50,750
Went into pretty graphic detail...
382
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:52,177
described how she'd get rid of
my body and everything.
383
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,479
- [LAUGHS]
- I was like, "Wow,
384
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:55,414
this woman will never trust me."
385
00:13:55,483 --> 00:13:58,484
- That's so her.
- [CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
386
00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:00,319
Then one time, she overheard me talking
387
00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:04,589
about drinking dandelion wine
with my... with my grandma.
388
00:14:04,658 --> 00:14:06,358
She went over to the kitchen cabinet
389
00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:07,492
and pulled out a bottle.
390
00:14:07,561 --> 00:14:10,262
Apparently, she had an aunt
that taught her how to make it.
391
00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,497
And we sat there at the kitchen table
392
00:14:12,599 --> 00:14:14,800
drinking and swapping stories
393
00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:17,969
- about growing up in the boondocks.
- Mm.
394
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,433
The wine made me go blind
for a bit, but...
395
00:14:20,535 --> 00:14:23,503
- [CHUCKLES]
- ...I'll never forget her voice,
396
00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:24,804
slurring in the darkness,
397
00:14:24,873 --> 00:14:28,800
telling me she understood
why Mitchell loved me. [CHUCKLES]
398
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,276
I remember dropping Haley off at school
399
00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:32,450
for the first time.
400
00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:35,148
Her staring at me with those giant eyes,
401
00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:38,385
her lips quivering,
crying for me to stay.
402
00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:41,321
And I, uh... [BREATHES DEEPLY]
403
00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:43,422
I told her everything
is gonna be all right,
404
00:14:43,525 --> 00:14:45,258
and then I stagger back
to my car and I start crying.
405
00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:46,359
[CHUCKLING] Oh, gosh.
406
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,228
And you know who was there
waiting for me?
407
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:50,530
Well, if it's not Dede,
408
00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:52,431
it's kind of a touching
but pointless story.
409
00:14:52,534 --> 00:14:54,901
It was Dede.
410
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:57,403
She knew it was gonna be
a hard day for me.
411
00:14:57,872 --> 00:15:00,390
I can't believe she's gone.
412
00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:02,408
I'm gonna miss her.
413
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,843
Me too.
414
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,660
- To Dede.
- To Dede.
415
00:15:07,101 --> 00:15:08,280
[CHUCKLES]
416
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,930
[WATER STOPS]
417
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,650
[DOOR CREAKS]
[GASPS]
418
00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:15,134
[WATER DRIPPING]
419
00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:19,405
[GASPS] Aah!
420
00:15:19,473 --> 00:15:20,479
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
421
00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:24,760
Okay, you want to talk? Let's talk.
422
00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:27,120
I know that you never liked me.
423
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:29,448
And I was always nice.
424
00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:30,916
Okay, fine, one time,
425
00:15:30,984 --> 00:15:33,351
I did use your toothbrush on Stella.
426
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:36,121
But mostly I admired you for raising
427
00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:39,691
such wonderful children
and for helping make Jay
428
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,961
the amazing man
that I fell in love with.
429
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,865
I guess I never thanked you
for all of that.
430
00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:50,235
So, if you can hear me now,
431
00:15:50,337 --> 00:15:52,871
thank you.
432
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:55,474
And can you please tell Rosa Garcia
433
00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:58,543
to stop haunting me, too?
434
00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:01,990
And Marta Blanco,
435
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,502
Marisol Gutierrez, and Cecila Matos?
436
00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:05,637
Gracias.
437
00:16:05,706 --> 00:16:06,771
[DOOR OPENS]
438
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:10,275
Look, I'm sorry.
439
00:16:10,343 --> 00:16:12,710
I think I've been trying
to make Mom into the bad guy.
440
00:16:12,779 --> 00:16:14,345
It's not gonna make it any easier.
441
00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:17,749
That's not it. I...
I just feel so guilty.
442
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,217
Why?
443
00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:21,819
Because sometimes,
444
00:16:21,888 --> 00:16:24,759
I was as mean to Mom as she was to me.
445
00:16:24,794 --> 00:16:26,424
Oh. She was just hard on you
446
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:28,993
because sh-she believed in you so much.
447
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,115
Why do you always have to defend her?
448
00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,517
Because I loved her! I...
449
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,190
[CHUCKLES]
450
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,454
I can't believe I'm saying that
in the past tense.
451
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:40,191
I... I'm sorry that I had
a better relationship with her.
452
00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:42,626
And I'm... I'm sorry that
it bothered you, okay?
453
00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:44,610
You have a better relationship with Dad,
454
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:47,300
and I know he loves me just as much.
455
00:16:47,301 --> 00:16:48,633
Mmm...
456
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,902
Yeah, and when Dad dies,
457
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,172
he's gonna leave knowing
how much I loved him.
458
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,740
I'm not sure Mom knew that.
459
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,242
Of course she did.
460
00:16:57,344 --> 00:16:58,743
Really?
461
00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:00,512
Because unlike you,
the last time I talked to her,
462
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,514
we got in a huge fight.
463
00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:04,449
Mm-hmm.
464
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:08,686
You get to remember telling her
you loved her and laughing,
465
00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:11,422
and I get to remember
getting in some stupid argument
466
00:17:11,524 --> 00:17:12,957
about a Facebook post.
467
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,426
The one where she said
putting eucalyptus oils
468
00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:17,562
on the soles of your feet
is a natural birth control?
469
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:18,863
Yes. Yes.
470
00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,832
That's the one. And you have
471
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,633
a 12-year-old daughter
who reads those posts...
472
00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,268
you might want to tell her
that's not science.
473
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,380
Okay, okay, remember
that last amazing conversation
474
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:28,339
- I had with Mom?
- Oh, for God's sakes.
475
00:17:28,408 --> 00:17:30,741
I'm sorry, but there's no other
way to describe it, okay?
476
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,843
She told me about your fight, and she...
477
00:17:32,945 --> 00:17:34,311
she told me how upset she was.
478
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,981
She... She said she was gonna
call you to apologize.
479
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,917
Oh, my God.
480
00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:43,860
She left me a voicemail
a couple days ago,
481
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,555
but I was saving it till the next time
482
00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:46,189
I had to yell at somebody at work.
483
00:17:46,258 --> 00:17:48,125
[SNIFFLES] Okay.
484
00:17:48,227 --> 00:17:49,593
[BEEP]
485
00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,562
DEDE: Hey, honey. It's Mom.
486
00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:53,497
I just want to apologize.
487
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,990
I should not have lost my temper.
488
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,869
Shaman Phoenix Feather's
family-planning advice
489
00:17:58,938 --> 00:18:00,203
may not be for everyone,
490
00:18:00,272 --> 00:18:01,972
and you just want to
keep your daughters safe.
491
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:03,273
I get it.
492
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,741
- [SIGHS]
- I have a daughter of my own,
493
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:07,544
and I know how much she means to me.
494
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:10,948
Anyway, I'm sorry.
I love you, and I always will.
495
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,549
[VOICE BREAKING] I love you, too, Mom.
496
00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:13,784
[SNIFFLES]
497
00:18:14,584 --> 00:18:18,860
Also, I saw your new photo
on social media.
498
00:18:18,155 --> 00:18:20,355
Are you part of some protest
499
00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,324
where you're not allowed
to wash your hair?
500
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,792
Or are you just trying to be...
501
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,394
- [BEEP]
- I'm gonna listen to that later.
502
00:18:26,463 --> 00:18:28,530
- [CELLPHONE THUDS]
- Huh.
503
00:18:28,598 --> 00:18:32,330
- Weird hearing her voice.
- Oh, Daddy. [SNIFFLES]
504
00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:37,433
You already know this,
but I want to say it again.
505
00:18:37,535 --> 00:18:39,735
- We both love you so much.
- [SMOOCHES]
506
00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:42,505
Yeah. And I know we've...
we've had our ups and downs,
507
00:18:42,574 --> 00:18:45,274
but I've loved being your son.
508
00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:48,211
- Hmm.
- Are you...
509
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,146
buttering me up
'cause you ate my sandwich?
510
00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:52,810
- Oh!
- What is wrong with you?
511
00:18:52,183 --> 00:18:54,951
Seriously. What is this
obsession with a sandwich?
512
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:56,586
I waited in line!
513
00:18:56,654 --> 00:18:58,821
- [SCOFFS]
- I was thinking about it for months!
514
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:01,156
You know who would get this?
515
00:19:01,258 --> 00:19:04,259
Dede. That woman
appreciated a good sandwich.
516
00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:06,562
And she made the best ones, you know,
517
00:19:06,631 --> 00:19:08,163
when we were first married.
518
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:10,466
In that little house in the valley.
519
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:11,767
And we didn't have any money,
520
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:13,569
but she would go miles out of her way
521
00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:15,671
to get the bread with the crunchy crust
522
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,600
from that French bakery.
523
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,409
It was hard on the outside,
soft and warm on the inside,
524
00:19:20,511 --> 00:19:23,379
and she'd say,
"That's just like you, Jay."
525
00:19:23,481 --> 00:19:25,848
[CHUCKLES]
526
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,416
She was nice to me back then.
527
00:19:27,518 --> 00:19:29,585
[CHUCKLES] CLAIRE: Yeah.
528
00:19:29,687 --> 00:19:31,253
[SIGHS] It's funny,
529
00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:35,924
I happened to drive past there
a while ago.
530
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:39,940
That bakery's not there anymore.
531
00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:43,980
And damn if I wasn't
depressed for a week.
532
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,935
You know, I didn't realize...
533
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,605
[VOICE BREAKING]
...how much it meant to me
534
00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:51,400
till it was gone, you know?
535
00:19:51,142 --> 00:19:53,242
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
536
00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:56,745
- Yeah. [SNIFFLES]
- Yeah. [SNIFFLES]
537
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,748
Look at that beautiful family moment.
538
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:03,218
Yeah, look right at it.
539
00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:08,123
I asked myself,
"What would Nana want today?"
540
00:20:08,225 --> 00:20:11,293
She'd want me to mess with Gloria.
541
00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:13,620
Also, I ate Grandpa's sandwich.
542
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:17,680
Oh, God. Jerry forwarded me an e-mail
543
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:18,767
from Mom's women's group.
544
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,994
I-I-I can't even read it.
545
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,780
- You do it. I...
- Oh, okay.
546
00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:27,340
Um..."Our sincere condolences
on the loss of your loved one, Dede."
547
00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:29,410
- What happened to Mom?
- Oh, let's see.
548
00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:32,393
"On the third night,
Dede wandered away from the group
549
00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:34,917
and encountered a pack
of starving timberwolves."
550
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,220
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God, Mom.
551
00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:37,645
"As you know, Dede long believed
552
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,700
she could comunicate with animals,
553
00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:42,290
so using a mix of howls and barks
she convinced them
554
00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:45,987
to seek food elsewhere."
Huh, guess that wasn't that. Let's see.
555
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:50,621
"Later she ignored that thin ice sign
and plunged..."
556
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:52,538
Hang on, saved by one of the wolves.
557
00:20:52,563 --> 00:20:54,880
Uh... [MUMBLES] "She deeply
558
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:59,319
offended a tribe of inuits by
interrupting a secret dagger...
559
00:20:59,344 --> 00:21:02,333
She briefly swallowed..."
Uh... Here it is!
560
00:21:02,358 --> 00:21:05,779
"On the trip's final morning,
Dede was found in her room.
561
00:21:05,804 --> 00:21:09,282
She had apparently passed
peacefully in her sleep
562
00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:11,157
as a smile graced her face
563
00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:16,304
and her hands clutched 10 pages
of sugestions for the hotel staff."
564
00:21:16,329 --> 00:21:19,420
- That is so Mom.
- Easy.
565
00:21:19,670 --> 00:21:24,670
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
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