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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,351 --> 00:00:05,152 Look at my sexy lady on her business trip. 2 00:00:06,723 --> 00:00:08,327 How's it going up in San Francisco? 3 00:00:08,352 --> 00:00:09,507 Well, it's a sports bar, 4 00:00:09,532 --> 00:00:11,632 so the redesign's pretty simple. 5 00:00:11,657 --> 00:00:12,984 I'm basically just putting in everything 6 00:00:13,009 --> 00:00:15,094 eight-year-old you would have wanted in our house. 7 00:00:16,336 --> 00:00:18,082 Anyway, I can't believe your dad decided to make 8 00:00:18,107 --> 00:00:20,474 a last minute trip; that's so not like him. 9 00:00:20,657 --> 00:00:22,068 Yeah, he loves planning ahead. 10 00:00:22,265 --> 00:00:23,703 In third grade, they asked him what he wanted to be 11 00:00:23,728 --> 00:00:26,029 when he grew up, and he said, "15 minutes early." 12 00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:29,092 Well, I'm bummed to miss him. 13 00:00:29,117 --> 00:00:30,779 You guys are so cute together. 14 00:00:30,804 --> 00:00:32,604 You sing the same songs, 15 00:00:32,629 --> 00:00:34,701 and tell jokes and work stories, 16 00:00:34,726 --> 00:00:37,951 you're always dancing. 17 00:00:38,754 --> 00:00:41,098 You know what, actually, I'm fine to be missing this weekend. 18 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,061 But I am sad to be missing 19 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,724 our little saturday night routine. 20 00:00:47,144 --> 00:00:50,278 Ooh. You mean, 60 minutes of intense, 21 00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:52,503 mind-bending pleasure? 22 00:00:52,528 --> 00:00:56,565 More like seven minutes of that, 23 00:00:56,590 --> 00:01:01,143 followed by 53 of us just housing Ben & Jerry's. 24 00:01:01,614 --> 00:01:03,716 Well, either way, this hubby's getting chubby. 25 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:06,913 Well, you know, we could, uh, 26 00:01:06,938 --> 00:01:09,498 try a little something over FaceTime. 27 00:01:09,523 --> 00:01:11,293 Ooh, you bad. 28 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,816 I'm about to get all up in that bandwidth. 29 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,353 'Cause you know you drive me crazy even in pixel form. 30 00:01:16,545 --> 00:01:19,449 With those gorgeous eyes and that adorable... 31 00:01:19,474 --> 00:01:22,308 Hold on, Cooper's in the house. 32 00:01:22,562 --> 00:01:24,028 Okay. 33 00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:25,927 Cooper, you've met my spouse, Claire Davis. 34 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,286 - Hi, Claire. - Hi. 35 00:01:28,795 --> 00:01:30,895 Don't mind Jake. He gets weird when people hear us 36 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,394 being romantic on the phone. 37 00:01:32,446 --> 00:01:35,783 All right, well, bye, Jakey-poo. I love you. 38 00:01:35,808 --> 00:01:38,370 My little buttercup, you're just so cute. 39 00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:41,634 Interesting. And for thee, I, too, feel affection. 40 00:01:41,659 --> 00:01:45,495 All the best and good day, madame. 41 00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:48,241 I have a delivery for Jake Davis. 42 00:01:48,266 --> 00:01:51,402 Oh-ho-ho. Who might that be? 43 00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:53,784 - It's your daddy! - Daddy! 44 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,190 Oh, good to see you. 45 00:01:59,215 --> 00:02:00,354 Oh. Oh, man. 46 00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:02,653 Oh, it's so good to see you, Jake. 47 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,333 It's good to see you, too, man. 48 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,329 You never come visit out of the blue. 49 00:02:05,354 --> 00:02:06,484 What brings you out here? 50 00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:08,316 - Well, I found out I was dying. - What? 51 00:02:08,341 --> 00:02:09,550 To see you! 52 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,268 I miss you. 53 00:02:12,293 --> 00:02:14,574 Plus, I'm curious about this, uh, 54 00:02:14,599 --> 00:02:16,263 pop star roommate of yours. 55 00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:17,788 Oh, right. Okay, well, 56 00:02:17,813 --> 00:02:19,783 just remember, Cooper likes living a simple life, 57 00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:21,541 so it's best just to act normal around him. 58 00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:24,805 Jake, I'm a lead accountant with the Boston Celtics. 59 00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:26,851 I'm around celebrities all the time. 60 00:02:26,876 --> 00:02:28,138 Hey, Mr. Davis. 61 00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:32,095 Coop-burger. 62 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,728 - I love you, man. - Oh. 63 00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,136 I love your tunes. 64 00:02:35,161 --> 00:02:36,460 You're just awesome. 65 00:02:36,652 --> 00:02:38,487 Thanks. It's so nice to meet you. 66 00:02:38,512 --> 00:02:40,145 Yeah, same. 67 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,731 In fact... 68 00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:46,940 ♪ I feel like I've known you ♪ 69 00:02:46,965 --> 00:02:48,744 ♪ My whole life... ♪ 70 00:02:48,831 --> 00:02:50,697 - One of my songs. - Yeah. 71 00:02:50,722 --> 00:02:52,681 With a, with a lot more eye contact than I'm used to. 72 00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:54,306 ♪ When I'm with you ♪ 73 00:02:54,331 --> 00:02:56,711 ♪ My whole world disappears ♪ 74 00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:58,198 ♪ Gone are my worries ♪ 75 00:02:58,223 --> 00:03:00,306 ♪ And erased are my fears ♪ 76 00:03:00,331 --> 00:03:03,632 - Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad, stop. - ♪ When I'm with you. ♪ 77 00:03:03,761 --> 00:03:04,986 Stop, dude. 78 00:03:05,011 --> 00:03:06,135 Geez. 79 00:03:06,288 --> 00:03:08,351 So we can hit him with that: remix. 80 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:10,875 Re-re-remix! 81 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,158 ♪ When I'm with you ♪ 82 00:03:12,183 --> 00:03:14,353 ♪ My whole world disappears ♪ 83 00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:15,589 ♪ When I'm with you ♪ 84 00:03:15,614 --> 00:03:17,416 ♪ My whole world disappears ♪ 85 00:03:17,441 --> 00:03:19,080 ♪ Gone are my worries ♪ 86 00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,306 ♪ Erased are my fears ♪ 87 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,167 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah. ♪ 88 00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:24,838 Hey, guys. 89 00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:26,103 Hey, guys, guys, stop, stop. 90 00:03:26,128 --> 00:03:27,775 Stop. Stop. Stop. Come on. 91 00:03:28,335 --> 00:03:29,300 It goes like this. 92 00:03:29,325 --> 00:03:30,864 One, two, three, four. 93 00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:32,133 ♪ When I'm with you ♪ 94 00:03:32,158 --> 00:03:34,358 ♪ My whole world disappears ♪ 95 00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:35,569 ♪ Gone are my worries ♪ 96 00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:37,642 ♪ Erased are my fears ♪ 97 00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:41,165 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah. ♪ 98 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,556 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 99 00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:08,307 So I look up at the clock, time is running out. 100 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,477 The whole year has led to this moment. 101 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:14,053 And my team, they're counting on me. 102 00:04:14,344 --> 00:04:15,710 It's April 15, 103 00:04:15,735 --> 00:04:16,842 tax day. 104 00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:18,181 Tax day. 105 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:22,057 And I only have ten minutes 106 00:04:22,082 --> 00:04:24,480 to finish Paul Pierce's tax return 107 00:04:24,505 --> 00:04:26,676 - or I got to file the extension. - Ah. 108 00:04:27,674 --> 00:04:29,458 This is why you get in the accounting gig. 109 00:04:29,759 --> 00:04:31,258 I got a receipt 110 00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:33,387 for a Mango Jamba Juice right next 111 00:04:33,412 --> 00:04:36,221 to a receipt for a Mango Ferrari. 112 00:04:37,192 --> 00:04:41,107 And that's when the roller ball on my mouse gives out 113 00:04:41,132 --> 00:04:43,812 just like my fake tooth when I bite into an apple. 114 00:04:44,697 --> 00:04:46,119 He's got a fake tooth, when he bites into a... 115 00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:48,222 Yeah, I heard. That's the one part I do understand. 116 00:04:48,843 --> 00:04:52,431 So now, I'm filing deductions using the toggle column 117 00:04:52,456 --> 00:04:54,915 on the scroll bar, and lowering 118 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,683 the track piece like it's 1996. 119 00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:58,946 Oh! 120 00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:03,566 You got to tell me how it ends, Cooper, I'm too nervous. 121 00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:09,105 And that, my friend, is when my computer freezes. 122 00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:10,539 No! 123 00:05:10,641 --> 00:05:12,107 You were listening. 124 00:05:12,132 --> 00:05:13,491 I was listening. 125 00:05:13,858 --> 00:05:16,810 So I did the only thing I could, 126 00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,354 I hit the back button 127 00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,475 and re-entered the tier one deductions 128 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,465 from memory. 129 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,348 Are you not entertained?! 130 00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:30,424 Judging from that reaction, 131 00:05:30,449 --> 00:05:32,347 that's a great story, Mr. Davis. 132 00:05:32,756 --> 00:05:34,500 - Oh, yeah, man. - Oh, yeah. 133 00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:35,502 Speaking of basketball, 134 00:05:35,527 --> 00:05:37,394 I'm singing the national anthem at the Lakers game tomorrow 135 00:05:37,419 --> 00:05:38,685 if you guys want to come. 136 00:05:38,857 --> 00:05:40,721 Uh, that depends on who they're playing. 137 00:05:40,746 --> 00:05:42,677 - They're floor seats. - That's my favorite team. 138 00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:45,367 Thanks, Coop. 139 00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,816 Uh, I'll go get us some more beers. Yeah, sure. 140 00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:53,318 So, Cooper, what's with you living here? 141 00:05:53,343 --> 00:05:56,636 Is this like a reverse Make-A-Wish kind of thing? 142 00:05:58,254 --> 00:05:59,986 Yeah, I know people think it's weird, 143 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,378 but I recently went through a bad breakup, 144 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:05,271 and wanted to escape the public eye and hide for a while. 145 00:06:05,296 --> 00:06:09,194 Oh. I know what it's like to want to hide. 146 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,800 You just want to escape. 147 00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,663 Find a little cottage out in the woods. 148 00:06:15,384 --> 00:06:18,211 Away from everyone and everything. 149 00:06:19,657 --> 00:06:21,855 But then I'd be all alone in my thoughts. 150 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,824 Nothing but my harmonica. 151 00:06:25,624 --> 00:06:27,538 Which I really can't even play. 152 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,201 Mr. Davis, are... are you okay? 153 00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:40,646 I got the beers. 154 00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:41,882 I got the beer. 155 00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:43,740 - What are we talking about? - Oh, nothing. 156 00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,882 Cooper's just sitting here bumming me out. 157 00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:53,545 So it's Saturday night. 158 00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:57,474 Are you ready to forget that the government is likely watching 159 00:06:57,499 --> 00:07:00,771 and get nasty? 160 00:07:01,044 --> 00:07:03,579 Yeah. I'm also kind of nervous 161 00:07:03,604 --> 00:07:05,092 'cause I've never done this before. 162 00:07:05,117 --> 00:07:07,122 Me, either. But how hard can it be? 163 00:07:07,147 --> 00:07:10,571 Which is a question I should probably be asking you. 164 00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,772 All right. Okay. 165 00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:23,863 I'm sorry, that was so good. 166 00:07:23,888 --> 00:07:26,408 Okay. Ah, here we go. 167 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:28,744 - All right, here we go. Here we go. - Mm-hmm. 168 00:07:28,769 --> 00:07:31,038 Hey, baby. 169 00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:33,457 Hey. 170 00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:34,514 Yeah. 171 00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:36,218 - Ah. - Ah. 172 00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:38,201 Mmm. Spicy. 173 00:07:38,226 --> 00:07:40,115 Mm-hmm. 174 00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:43,122 Hot-ta-ta-ta. 175 00:07:43,147 --> 00:07:44,980 Jake, is this working? 176 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:46,319 I'm not sure. So far, we just sound 177 00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:48,317 like Guy Fieri eating a cheesesteak. 178 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,889 You know what, I'm gonna Google what we should say. 179 00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:52,253 That's smart. 180 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:54,987 Let me just answer this e-mail really fast. 181 00:07:55,138 --> 00:07:56,800 Babe, focus. 182 00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:58,499 What? Sorry. Okay. 183 00:07:58,524 --> 00:08:00,952 So, hey, boo. 184 00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,723 That's you. 185 00:08:03,748 --> 00:08:07,047 Why don't you unbutton your shirt and stroke your chest? 186 00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:11,065 Oh. Don't mind if I do-skees. 187 00:08:12,374 --> 00:08:13,481 Ah. 188 00:08:13,506 --> 00:08:15,464 Now push 'em together. 189 00:08:16,138 --> 00:08:18,188 All right, it's a little bit weird, 190 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:19,790 but... how's that? 191 00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:21,745 - Mm-hmm. - Are they together enough? 192 00:08:23,051 --> 00:08:25,372 Now put a pencil between them. 193 00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:27,596 Uh... 194 00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:33,134 Now spit on it. 195 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,492 Spit on it? What? 196 00:08:34,517 --> 00:08:36,805 Oh! Oh, no. I'm reading what the guy should say. 197 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:37,978 Okay, hold on. 198 00:08:38,003 --> 00:08:39,911 Ah! Someone's in here! 199 00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:42,773 Oh, there's my pencil. 200 00:08:42,798 --> 00:08:44,398 Always between the nipples, am I right? 201 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:45,813 Well, sorry to interrupt, 202 00:08:45,838 --> 00:08:47,612 but can I talk to you about your dad? 203 00:08:47,637 --> 00:08:49,465 I'm a little worried he might be going through something. 204 00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,192 What? Oh, come on, man, that's crazy. 205 00:08:52,217 --> 00:08:53,784 No offense, Cooper, but if something was wrong, 206 00:08:53,809 --> 00:08:55,415 why would he talk to you and not me? 207 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,106 People open up to me all the time. 208 00:08:57,131 --> 00:08:58,366 It might be because of my single, 209 00:08:58,391 --> 00:08:59,390 "You Can Tell Me Anything... 210 00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:01,115 Parentheses Yes, Anything." 211 00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:04,953 I'm just saying it might be worth checking in with him. 212 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,081 Oh, please. What would that even sound like? 213 00:09:07,106 --> 00:09:09,058 "Hey, Dad, are you okay?" 214 00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:11,041 He's okay. 215 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:12,900 I don't know why you'd use that voice, 216 00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:14,364 but, yeah, that's the gist. 217 00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:16,704 Anyway, I'll let you get back to your FaceTime sex. 218 00:09:16,729 --> 00:09:18,428 I wasn't... that's not what I was doing. I wasn't doing that. 219 00:09:18,453 --> 00:09:19,893 Mate, I'd believe you, but you're still connected 220 00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:21,566 to the Bluetooth speaker downstairs. 221 00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:28,633 I'm a little nervous about singing the national anthem. 222 00:09:28,658 --> 00:09:30,548 Do I say "spangled" weird? 223 00:09:32,602 --> 00:09:34,355 You say everything weird. 224 00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:38,323 Oh, uh... 225 00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:40,347 All right. 226 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,683 Hey, uh, Pop. 227 00:09:41,708 --> 00:09:43,594 Um, how you doing? 228 00:09:43,619 --> 00:09:44,918 What's going on? Everything good? 229 00:09:44,943 --> 00:09:46,289 Oh, everything's great. 230 00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,734 Just rocking and rolling. 231 00:09:49,759 --> 00:09:51,093 - Rocking and rolling. - Yeah, yeah. 232 00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:52,675 - Righteous. Righteous. - Yeah, yeah. 233 00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:54,285 So everything's good at home? 234 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,195 Oh, yeah. Everything's great. 235 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,319 So you're okay. 236 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,498 Of course I'm okay. 237 00:09:58,523 --> 00:10:00,149 What kind of question is that? 238 00:10:00,174 --> 00:10:02,314 Hey, Dad, are you okay? 239 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,700 Hey, Dad, are you okay? 240 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:09,358 Oh, that is my phone. 241 00:10:10,015 --> 00:10:11,692 Must be Claire, my wife. 242 00:10:14,185 --> 00:10:15,870 I'm just gonna grab one of these pencils 243 00:10:15,895 --> 00:10:17,315 for no reason whatsoever. 244 00:10:24,603 --> 00:10:28,171 So, Cooper, how do you like your eggs, buddy? 245 00:10:28,196 --> 00:10:29,568 Uh, over easy. 246 00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:33,859 Huh. I'll tell you what was over easy. 247 00:10:34,473 --> 00:10:36,003 My marriage. 248 00:10:38,453 --> 00:10:40,125 I'm so sorry to hear that, Mike. 249 00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:42,055 Maybe we should tell Jake. Jake? 250 00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:43,659 It's been six years 251 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,483 since Jake's mom left me, 252 00:10:45,599 --> 00:10:49,597 and every day hurts just a little bit more. 253 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,414 Wow. 254 00:10:51,439 --> 00:10:53,810 Mike, could you just give me one second? 255 00:10:53,835 --> 00:10:54,973 Jake?! 256 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,412 Jake? 257 00:10:56,437 --> 00:10:58,577 Coop? Cooper? 258 00:11:03,048 --> 00:11:04,792 You know, I guess 259 00:11:04,817 --> 00:11:06,583 I thought somewhere, in the back of my mind, 260 00:11:06,608 --> 00:11:08,700 that she would always come back to me. 261 00:11:09,262 --> 00:11:11,863 Look, Mike, I wrote that "You Can Tell Me Anything" song 262 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,286 for the Trolls movie, and they didn't even use it, so... 263 00:11:16,254 --> 00:11:18,045 Well, now she's getting remarried, 264 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:20,231 so I guess I just have to move on. 265 00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:27,276 You know what? I'm just gonna go take a jog. 266 00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:31,562 Maybe the sweat will camouflage my tears. 267 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,419 Hey, where'd my dad go? Oh, he went for a run. 268 00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:39,332 Oh. Well, uh, that was my mom. 269 00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:41,286 Apparently, she's getting remarried. 270 00:11:42,691 --> 00:11:44,882 Wonder if that's why my dad's upset. 271 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,492 Think it might be. 272 00:11:59,771 --> 00:12:02,272 Wow. So your mom's getting remarried? 273 00:12:02,297 --> 00:12:04,255 Can't believe my dad hasn't talked to me about this. 274 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:05,239 You know, this whole time, I thought 275 00:12:05,264 --> 00:12:07,929 I had this great relationship with my dad, but... 276 00:12:09,774 --> 00:12:11,500 Why won't he talk to me about my mom? 277 00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:14,721 It's okay. I mean, most dads don't talk 278 00:12:14,746 --> 00:12:16,547 to their sons about their love lives. 279 00:12:16,572 --> 00:12:19,504 Yeah, but we're not just father and son. We're best friends. 280 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,354 And how many people can say they started life 281 00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,690 in their best friend's scrotum? 282 00:12:24,228 --> 00:12:25,567 Okay. 283 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,044 You know, when we first started dating, 284 00:12:27,069 --> 00:12:29,425 you were pretty closed off emotionally, too. 285 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,773 And then, that one night, we had a few drinks, 286 00:12:31,798 --> 00:12:34,400 and we played that game "Never Have I Ever." 287 00:12:34,425 --> 00:12:36,585 We learned that I was the first girl 288 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:38,326 you ever said "I love you" to. 289 00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:41,328 And I felt way closer to you after that night. 290 00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,249 Oh, honey, I was just trying to get some. 291 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,711 Well, it worked. 292 00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:48,584 Yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea, babe. 293 00:12:48,609 --> 00:12:50,334 Yeah, I'll-I'll invite your parents over 294 00:12:50,359 --> 00:12:53,717 for a little game night and try to get my dad comfortable enough 295 00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:54,733 to open up to me. 296 00:12:54,758 --> 00:12:55,704 Mm-hmm. 297 00:12:55,729 --> 00:12:58,263 You know, we could start playing right now, 298 00:12:58,857 --> 00:13:02,509 'cause never have I ever had FaceTime sex. 299 00:13:02,534 --> 00:13:04,221 Ooh. 300 00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:06,024 So, hey there, big boy. 301 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,190 So you like what you see? 302 00:13:09,215 --> 00:13:10,650 - Screen froze. - How is this? 303 00:13:10,675 --> 00:13:12,208 You look like you sell chins. 304 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:15,645 Well, why don't you come up to my hotel room, and...? 305 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,688 - Uh, rain check, okay? Rain check. - Throw me down onto the bed? 306 00:13:20,117 --> 00:13:21,379 Is this turning you on? 307 00:13:21,404 --> 00:13:22,717 All right. 308 00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:29,053 Oh. Mike, it has been such a long time. 309 00:13:29,078 --> 00:13:30,203 Yeah, I haven't seen you since 310 00:13:30,228 --> 00:13:32,699 you accidentally grabbed my butt at the wedding. 311 00:13:34,491 --> 00:13:36,926 Sorry, I thought you were someone else. 312 00:13:43,745 --> 00:13:44,952 Hey, g'day. Hey there, Cooper. 313 00:13:44,977 --> 00:13:45,454 Hey. 314 00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:47,332 Check out our courtside tickets for tomorrow's game. 315 00:13:47,357 --> 00:13:48,921 I am very excited! 316 00:13:49,531 --> 00:13:51,383 So sorry. This is for me, Jake and his dad. 317 00:13:51,408 --> 00:13:52,869 For you guys! 318 00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,937 Don't worry. This isn't the first time 319 00:13:54,962 --> 00:13:57,076 I've been excluded from a threesome. 320 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,645 Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. 321 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:01,902 Guys, you know my manager Wayne. 322 00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:02,843 - Hey. - Hi, Wayne. 323 00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:03,343 Hey. 324 00:14:03,390 --> 00:14:04,820 Hey, buddy. Have a seat. 325 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,426 So, tonight, I was thinking we all play a little 326 00:14:07,451 --> 00:14:08,610 "get to know each other" kind of game. 327 00:14:08,635 --> 00:14:10,925 Oh, great. I'll find a bowl for us to put our keys in. 328 00:14:13,426 --> 00:14:16,315 Uh, no, no. I was, uh, thinking more like 329 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:17,640 "Never Have I Ever." Right? 330 00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:19,689 So, you say something that you've never done, 331 00:14:19,714 --> 00:14:21,481 and if someone has done it, they drink. 332 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,669 Ooh, well, I have never played this game. 333 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,360 Uh, Bonnie, no. You-you drink if you have done it. 334 00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:31,661 Oh, well, now I have. 335 00:14:33,427 --> 00:14:35,566 Well, I'll go first. Uh... hmm. 336 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,366 At the top of my head. 337 00:14:37,391 --> 00:14:39,690 I don't know. Uh, never have I ever... 338 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,556 hidden my feelings from my best friend. 339 00:14:49,239 --> 00:14:51,515 All right, that was a lame one. I'll go. 340 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,438 Never have I ever... had sex at work. 341 00:14:54,463 --> 00:14:56,035 Oh. 342 00:14:57,127 --> 00:15:00,168 Hey-oh! Hey-oh! 343 00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:09,723 Uh, Gerald, we've worked together our entire careers. 344 00:15:09,748 --> 00:15:12,616 Oh, honey, this was before we met, when I worked at the zoo. 345 00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:14,920 Oh... 346 00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:18,932 Oh. 347 00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,596 Oh, I got another one. 348 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,667 Uh, never have I ever buried my feelings 349 00:15:23,692 --> 00:15:26,726 because I felt like I had to be strong for everyone else. 350 00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:36,797 Jake, did I leave my journal lying around the office? 351 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:39,385 'Cause... 352 00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:40,967 All right, Dad, you're up. 353 00:15:40,992 --> 00:15:43,693 It can be anything, anything you're feeling at all. 354 00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:45,370 Okay, uh... 355 00:15:45,395 --> 00:15:47,976 never have I ever... 356 00:15:48,317 --> 00:15:50,010 tried gazpacho. 357 00:15:50,296 --> 00:15:52,124 Ooh. 358 00:15:53,389 --> 00:15:56,604 - Tried gazpacho? - Yeah. 359 00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,128 Is that all you got? 360 00:16:03,114 --> 00:16:04,820 Ah. I love a cold soup. 361 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,700 It's so surprising. 362 00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:10,122 It's like stepping onto an escalator that's broken. 363 00:16:10,147 --> 00:16:11,625 Oh... 364 00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:13,788 Hey, I got one. I got one. 365 00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:16,019 Never have I ever found out 366 00:16:16,044 --> 00:16:17,903 that my ex-wife is getting remarried, 367 00:16:17,928 --> 00:16:19,243 which made the reality of my divorce 368 00:16:19,268 --> 00:16:21,808 hit home in a way it hadn't in six years, 369 00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,070 and I'd rather talk to a stranger about it 370 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:25,215 than my own son! 371 00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,814 Boy, you read me like a book. 372 00:16:31,497 --> 00:16:33,778 What the hell, Jake? 373 00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:35,645 This was supposed to be a fun game. 374 00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:38,534 Yeah, well, it would be fun if you would just open up to me. 375 00:16:38,559 --> 00:16:40,883 Look, I know you're upset about Mom getting remarried. 376 00:16:40,908 --> 00:16:44,081 Well, that's my problem, and it's up to me to deal with it. 377 00:16:44,106 --> 00:16:46,753 But I want to help you. We're best friends. 378 00:16:46,778 --> 00:16:49,410 Yeah, well, best friends don't trick each other 379 00:16:49,435 --> 00:16:52,002 into talking about things that they don't want to. 380 00:16:52,336 --> 00:16:55,152 Damn. To think that's how you repay the guy 381 00:16:55,177 --> 00:16:57,395 who carried you around in his scrotum. 382 00:17:12,037 --> 00:17:13,369 Right. 383 00:17:13,394 --> 00:17:14,848 Pretty good seats, huh? 384 00:17:15,416 --> 00:17:17,070 Little tip. Uh, when the cheerleaders come out, 385 00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:18,386 make sure you stare at the ceiling. 386 00:17:18,411 --> 00:17:20,019 Otherwise, the tabloids will make it look 387 00:17:20,044 --> 00:17:21,794 like you're staring at their butts. 388 00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:25,685 Well, this is fun. 389 00:17:26,571 --> 00:17:28,714 You know, Justin Timberlake and Kevin Hart wanted 390 00:17:28,739 --> 00:17:31,585 to come tonight, but I'm super glad I brought you guys instead. 391 00:17:34,147 --> 00:17:36,348 He's right, Dad. You know, um, 392 00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,589 this is your last night here, 393 00:17:38,614 --> 00:17:40,615 and these seats are insane, so... 394 00:17:40,998 --> 00:17:43,854 can we just go back to only talking about sports and stuff? 395 00:17:43,879 --> 00:17:45,688 Yeah. 396 00:17:45,713 --> 00:17:47,710 LeBron James, for three! 397 00:17:53,651 --> 00:17:56,177 I can't believe LeBron left Cleveland. 398 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,150 Right? Must have been devastating 399 00:17:58,176 --> 00:18:01,364 for those Cleveland fans, getting left behind like that. 400 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,436 Oh, totally. 401 00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:07,070 Yeah. Uh, 402 00:18:07,351 --> 00:18:10,251 you know, it's-it's got to be painful as hell 403 00:18:10,276 --> 00:18:11,854 when someone you thought would be 404 00:18:11,879 --> 00:18:13,797 on your team forever leaves for another team. 405 00:18:13,822 --> 00:18:17,036 But, uh, doesn't mean that the Cavs should just 406 00:18:17,061 --> 00:18:18,481 shut down and stop playing. 407 00:18:18,506 --> 00:18:19,873 They got to get back out there, 408 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:22,052 maybe even find a new LeMom... I mean, LeBron. 409 00:18:25,015 --> 00:18:27,770 I'm just scared that Cleveland 410 00:18:28,288 --> 00:18:31,031 will never be the same without LeBron. 411 00:18:31,288 --> 00:18:33,448 Dad, come on. That's impossible. 412 00:18:33,473 --> 00:18:34,664 Cleveland needs to look back 413 00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:36,953 on all the times it had with LeBron fondly. 414 00:18:37,174 --> 00:18:39,614 Remember that they'll always have 415 00:18:39,639 --> 00:18:41,989 that sexy championship they made together. 416 00:18:42,486 --> 00:18:45,215 I'll always love that championship. 417 00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:48,860 Well, Dad, all the championship wants is for Cleveland 418 00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:50,802 to open up to it from time to time. 419 00:18:50,827 --> 00:18:54,060 It's just, I know how much you look up to me, Jake, 420 00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:58,325 and I'm afraid that if I burden you with my problems, 421 00:18:58,350 --> 00:19:00,424 you might start thinking less of me. 422 00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:02,825 Dad, you've been my hero since I was a little kid. 423 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,275 You're the coolest dad ever, and you've always been there for me. 424 00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:08,700 And nothing would make me happier 425 00:19:08,725 --> 00:19:10,919 than to have the chance to repay the favor. 426 00:19:11,355 --> 00:19:12,954 Oh, man. 427 00:19:12,979 --> 00:19:14,082 Dad, don't do that. 428 00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:15,908 Yo... and... 429 00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:18,129 No, 'cause when your lip quivers, my lip quivers. 430 00:19:18,154 --> 00:19:20,087 I know, and it's just, I love you, man. 431 00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:21,683 When you cry, then I feel like... 432 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,056 I love you so much, Dad. 433 00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,549 The Los Angeles Lakers would like to once again thank 434 00:19:26,574 --> 00:19:29,951 multi-platinum recording artist, Cooper James, 435 00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,568 for singing today's National Anthem. 436 00:19:35,949 --> 00:19:38,688 That was good. Oh. 437 00:19:38,713 --> 00:19:40,311 Oh. Oh, babe. 438 00:19:40,336 --> 00:19:42,520 You'll never guess what just happened. Claire? 439 00:19:42,545 --> 00:19:45,835 Hey, babe. I hope that you're ready for some cybersex. 440 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:48,185 No! No! 441 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,786 No! 442 00:19:50,641 --> 00:19:52,196 Jake, what the hell?! 443 00:19:52,221 --> 00:19:53,518 I'm sorry, baby. I forgot to tell you 444 00:19:53,543 --> 00:19:55,277 I was at a basketball game tonight. 445 00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,446 I'll call you later, okay? I'm super impressed. 446 00:19:57,471 --> 00:19:59,417 So was everyone else. Bye. 447 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,014 I can't believe we're finally doing this on FaceTime. 448 00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:14,205 I know. I've been so hungry for it. 449 00:20:17,772 --> 00:20:20,106 Mmm! 450 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:21,887 Ah. 451 00:20:21,912 --> 00:20:23,692 Such a good call to just bail on the sex 452 00:20:23,717 --> 00:20:26,229 and just skip to the part where we eat the ice cream together. 453 00:20:26,254 --> 00:20:29,773 Yeah, and for once, we can both finish at the same time. 454 00:20:31,299 --> 00:20:32,532 - Mmm. - Oh. 455 00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:33,735 Ah, don't tease me. 456 00:20:40,836 --> 00:20:42,999 Look how thick that piece of chocolate is. 457 00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:45,374 Mmm. Oh. 458 00:20:45,399 --> 00:20:46,109 Thick. 459 00:20:46,134 --> 00:20:48,291 Ah, it's going straight to my butt, but I don't care. 460 00:20:48,643 --> 00:20:52,056 For God's sake, Jake, get your damn phone off Bluetooth! 33069

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