All language subtitles for Half Magic 2018 EN

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:15,048 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,788 WOMAN: Danny, don't splash me! [LAUGHS] 3 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:22,856 Stop. I'm getting wet. 4 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,659 -MAN: That's the idea. -[WOMAN GIGGLING] 5 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,262 -WOMAN: Stop it. -Hi, sweetie. 6 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,497 MAN: Oh, come on! 7 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,465 Come on, let's go back to my place. 8 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,067 WOMAN: Maybe we should wait. 9 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,969 MAN: Wait, schmait! 10 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,205 These two people are not married, 11 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,541 and they're going to have premarital sex. 12 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,209 You could go to hell for that. 13 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,778 All right, that's it. You're not allowed 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,413 to watch this show anymore. 15 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,215 It inspires urges that are... 16 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,619 -wrong and bad. -WOMAN: Let's go to your place. 17 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,386 MAN: Groovy! 18 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,588 You could go to hell for those urges. 19 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,795 In hell, there is a fire 20 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,832 that will lap at you for all eternity. 21 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,767 You gotta decide... 22 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:12,572 Do you want to go to heaven, or do you wanna go to hell? 23 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,240 -[GASPS] -[ORGAN PLAYING] 24 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,409 -[PANTING] -[MAN GRUNTING] 25 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,612 Yeah. You a bad girl? Huh? You a bad girl? 26 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,214 -I'm a bad girl. -Yeah! 27 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,783 You're a dirty little slut, huh? Dirty little slut, 28 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:24,984 -yeah. -Um, yes. 29 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:25,952 Say it. Say you're a dirty slut. 30 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:29,089 -I'm a dirty slut. -Yeah, you're a dirty slut! 31 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,093 [GROANING] 32 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,900 Oh. Hmm. 33 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,537 Hmm. Hmm. 34 00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,473 Okay. 35 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,308 Oh. 36 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,176 [SIGHS] 37 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:52,479 Mm. 38 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,981 Why do you always call me a dirty little slut? 39 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,015 Ah. 40 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,418 Come on. You love it. 41 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,120 I like having sex on a bed. 42 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,455 Is this because maybe you're, uh, you're jealous 43 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,756 that I'm more successful than you? 44 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,091 -[DOOR KNOCKING] -MAN: Mr. Brock, 45 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,092 we're ready for you onstage. 46 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,395 Peter, you have been in one great movie after another. 47 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,231 Walk me through your process. 48 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,299 How do you prepare for this? 49 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,136 I tell you, I play a lot of action heroes. 50 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,036 Um... 51 00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:18,671 and in those-- in those movies, 52 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,207 I have heavy artillery. I have guns, 53 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,642 okay? 54 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,612 I have a gun on me right now. 55 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,814 Not physically, in the physical sense. 56 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,216 I put it on the table earlier. It's right here. 57 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,317 Imagine it, okay? 58 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,254 -It's an emotional gun for me. -Right. 59 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,922 This gun's here... 60 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:36,890 all the time. 61 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,826 Sometimes I put it in my pocket, sometimes I put it in my... 62 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,594 That's how I prepare. I'm always ready. 63 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,797 I'm always the action hero. Bang! Not real. 64 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,332 But real. 65 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,134 -MAN: Uh-- -I'll do it. 66 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,602 Don't do it. 67 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:50,370 I won't do it. 68 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,138 You've been doing this for years, and years and years. 69 00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,440 Certainly, you've heard some of the talk on the streets. 70 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,776 People say that Peter is just a tough guy, 71 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,479 a hard guy to work with. How do you respond to that? 72 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:03,783 Yeah, Napoleon died exiled on an island of-- of leprosy. 73 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,817 That's-- that's true. 74 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:05,852 -That's history. -MAN: Yeah. 75 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,055 Jesus died on the cross, you know? 76 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,690 Um, visionaries die 77 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,693 sometimes quicker than non-visionaries. 78 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,527 You're a visionary? 79 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,795 PETER: Thank you. But I'm not saying-- 80 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,263 -Oh, you're asking. I think... -It was a question. 81 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,632 ...um, I think that's up for kinda the press to decide, 82 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,600 and I think that bloggers, 83 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,602 and people who write physical magazines 84 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,903 have said I was a-- a visionary. 85 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,605 People have-- have tweeted me about that. 86 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,207 You know, you made Bros Before Hos. 87 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,474 Why don't you make the female version? 88 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,543 I-- I wrote a great script. It's called Chicks Before Dicks. 89 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,345 -Did you read it? -Uh, look, Boo Boo, 90 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,713 you have all the talent. You really do. 91 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,881 And I'm the one that discovered you 92 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,249 and gave you your big break, right? 93 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,283 -Yeah. -Yeah, I promoted you 94 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,985 -to be my D girl, right? -I want to be a writer. 95 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,687 I know you want to be a writer, and in due time. 96 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,356 Really. Your writing is great. It's fresh and very unique. 97 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,390 But you're bogging yourself down 98 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,192 talking about stupid shit. You know what? You-- 99 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,394 Nobody wants to hear about women's stories, all right? 100 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,330 If you want to make a film, you got to talk about a man. 101 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,898 You gotta write about a man. That's what you have to do. 102 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,833 Well, can you read my script? It's called The Year of My Yoni. 103 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,602 It's about a woman who goes on a spiritual quest 104 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,570 to find happiness and to learn about her yoni. 105 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,771 Yoni? I don't even know what that is. 106 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,373 Is that, like, a new way of saying "vagina"? 107 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,774 It sounds like a porno. I'm not into it. 108 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,811 Look, a guy bashing another guy's skull in 109 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,614 with a baseball bat, that's what sells. 110 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,484 Well, I could change the title to The Ultra-Violent Yoni. 111 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,786 You know, that's a good start. You could put more violence 112 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:14,988 in your script, that'd definitely get 113 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,322 a better chance of getting it made. Um, 114 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,124 on my end, I'm gonna put more female characters 115 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,726 -in my next script. -Really? 116 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,028 Yeah, uh, it's called Kill the Sluts. 117 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,162 Uh, I'm gonna pick a title 118 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,330 that's more PC a little bit later. 119 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,366 That's a working title. But basically, uh, 120 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,968 the movie's about this crazy psychopathic killer 121 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:29,969 that goes on a killing rampage 122 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,104 and kills all these teenage sluts. 123 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,039 But the only person that he can't kill 124 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,507 is an 18-year-old virgin. 125 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,076 Don't you think that'll send out a weird message to women 126 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,811 and teenage girls about sex? And those women 127 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,446 might grow up and have a lot of issues. 128 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,981 I'm not saying I'm against women's rights. 129 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,716 I'm just saying that there's no market 130 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,084 for their films. 131 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:49,389 [MUSIC PLAYING] 132 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,035 [SIGHS] 133 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,543 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 134 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,992 -[LAUGHS] -WOMAN: Hello! 135 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,127 [GASPS] 136 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,962 -Welcome! -Welcome, goddess! 137 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:03,963 Is this your first time? 138 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,265 -I guess so. -Are you ready 139 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,134 to uncover your deepest desires 140 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,504 and join the pleasure revolution? 141 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,873 -HONEY: I don't know. -That's good enough for now. 142 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,641 You are in exactly the right place. 143 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,544 -ROXY: Yes! Welcome! -HONEY: Oh. 144 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:23,082 Fear! So what? 145 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,953 Failure! So what? 146 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,555 WOMAN: My pussy is strong! 147 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,291 My pussy is strong! 148 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,460 My pussy is a genius! 149 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,330 ALL: My pussy is a genius! 150 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:41,267 We must listen to our pussies. 151 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:45,772 ALL: We must listen to our pussies. 152 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,975 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 153 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,810 Ladies, I would now like to introduce you 154 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,112 to a dear friend of mine, my mentor, 155 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:58,818 -Dr. Christiane Northrup! -[CHEERING] 156 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,989 -What a pleasure. -Thank you. 157 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,091 Thank you. Thank you. 158 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,526 All right... 159 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,827 I have something... 160 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,264 really magical to tell you. 161 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:15,067 I love my breasts. 162 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,369 Say it with me. 163 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:20,306 ALL: I love my breasts. 164 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,674 I love your breasts, too, Chris. 165 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,711 -And I love yours. Thank you. -Oh, thank you. 166 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:26,846 Now it is time to honor 167 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,548 the breasts of the women in the room. 168 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,784 I would like you to turn to the person next to you, 169 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,387 and look at her breasts and say, 170 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:39,492 "Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you." 171 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,561 Find-- everybody find a partner, please. 172 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,963 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 173 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,365 Excuse me, could you-- could you be my partner? 174 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,633 -WOMAN: Yes, sure. -Okay. 175 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,768 Hi! I don't have a partner. 176 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,903 Is it possible we could do a three-way? 177 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:51,871 I've never done a three-way. 178 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,774 This is my third time taking the class. 179 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,642 First time... 180 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,044 I liked my boobs. 181 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:01,180 Second time, I loved my boobs. 182 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:01,948 Now... 183 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:05,284 [WHISPERING] I really, really love my boobs. 184 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,486 -Mm! -Wow. 185 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,856 Yeah. This is a powerful exercise to release the shame 186 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,625 that we carry in our sexual organs. 187 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,993 Okay! [SIGHS] 188 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:18,531 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 189 00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,102 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 190 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,403 Okay! 191 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:27,940 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 192 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,943 Wow! This is my first lesbian experience. 193 00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:34,046 I didn't know I had it in me. [LAUGHS] 194 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,114 Okay. I-- 195 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,949 are you Eva St. Claire the designer? 196 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,284 -Yes. -Wow, I'm-- 197 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,754 Why are you in this class? You seem so together. 198 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,990 Believe me... 199 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:44,891 I have issues. 200 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,492 WOMAN: That is now the end of the class 201 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,427 for the Divine Feminine Workshop. 202 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,463 We will be meeting next week 203 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,130 to worship 204 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,300 -and decorate our pussies. -[GASPS] 205 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,035 [CHEERING] 206 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,737 WOMAN: Thank you. 207 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:04,844 [ALL CHANTING] Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 208 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,245 This class changed my life. 209 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,548 This class, my color-therapy workshops, 210 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,817 and my past-life regression conferences. 211 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,986 -What's color therapy? -Oh! 212 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,756 It's about how certain colors make you feel. 213 00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,158 That sounds helpful. 214 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:19,725 Oh! 215 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,861 Do you guys want to come to the place where I work? 216 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,964 I cast magical spells to make your dreams come true. 217 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,065 I'm a hope-ologist. 218 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,701 -What's a hope-ologist? -I just made that word up. 219 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,502 Isn't it awesome? 220 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:33,472 I believe in the religion of hope, or hope-ology. 221 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,707 I just made that up, too! 222 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,443 I just spent an hour singing about my pussy, 223 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,644 so why the hell not? 224 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,313 Yeah, I mean, it's either that or going home 225 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,781 to think about how much I hate myself, 226 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,883 -so let's do it. -Let's do it! 227 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,720 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh Sha-ba-lum ♪ 228 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,591 ♪ Ah-ooh sha-ba-lum Ah-ooh ♪ 229 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,359 This place is really cool. 230 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,760 CANDY: Okay. 231 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:56,862 So... 232 00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,764 what do you want to wish for? 233 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,733 -How does it work? -Oh... 234 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,502 I carve these candles and cast spells on them. 235 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,271 I don't know if it's positive intention 236 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,907 or creative visualization or actual magic, 237 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,977 but these spells work for a lot of people. 238 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,113 Some of my regulars call me The Witch. 239 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,515 -What kind of spells? -Oh! All kinds. 240 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:19,685 Some for serious stuff, like for love, or work and stuff, 241 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,922 but some fun ones, too, like, "I want my own unicorn." 242 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,123 They aren't magical. 243 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,125 They're overpriced candles for rich idiots 244 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,893 who got nothing better to do. 245 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:28,861 Your paycheck's on my desk. 246 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,262 Can you take out the trash while you're at it? 247 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,831 I don't want the rats getting in there. 248 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,199 Sorry, Mr. J. 249 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,568 Did Mr. Fun Time just call us idiots? 250 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,470 What an asshole. I think some people 251 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,372 just don't have enough imagination. 252 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,374 Honey, I think you should go first. 253 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,309 [SIGHS] Okay. Um, hmm. 254 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,478 Well, I want to have hot sex with someone 255 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,013 who's really nice to me. [SIGHS] 256 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:51,317 Hot sex. Yes. Give it to me! I want that, too. 257 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,354 I want to not fall asleep during sex. 258 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,156 I want to be awake. 259 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,258 I want to be... 260 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:01,127 an active part of it. 261 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,196 -Okay, I want in. I want in! -Okay. 262 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,464 Um... 263 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,034 I'm gonna use the red candle 264 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,635 for passion. 265 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:10,636 So... 266 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,371 you hold the candle and you think 267 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,107 about what you want to release from your life, 268 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:18,177 and then think about what you want. 269 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,946 Picture the hot sex. 270 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,686 Okay. 271 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,520 All right. 272 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,855 I want to have the hottest sex I've ever had 273 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,825 with someone who's really nice to me. 274 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:36,062 And so mote it be. 275 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:36,762 "Mote"? 276 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,932 It's witch talk for "and so shall it be." 277 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,467 Witch talk. 278 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,069 I like it. 279 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:43,969 Okay. 280 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:47,373 You guys, I really just want my ex-husband back. 281 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,875 [SIGHS] I don't need hot sex. 282 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,576 I mean, like... 283 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:53,979 room-temperature-warm sex would be nice 284 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,215 for me. Here we go. 285 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,718 -[SIGHS] -And so mote it be. 286 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,453 And so mote it be. 287 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,221 Hmm. 288 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,557 I want hot sex with Daniel. 289 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,759 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 290 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,332 [SIGHS] 291 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,836 Okay, I don't know if all of this is BS, 292 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,370 but I actually feel better. 293 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:21,240 Oh, my God, I'm invited to a fun party tonight! 294 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,908 Do you guys want to go with me? 295 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,143 -Yeah! -CANDY: Yeah! 296 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:27,279 ♪ I got the light ♪ 297 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,883 ♪ I got the light ♪ 298 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,420 ♪ I got the light ♪ 299 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,357 ♪ I got the light ♪ 300 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:42,328 ♪ I got the light ♪ 301 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,562 [CHEERING] 302 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,830 ♪ I got the light ♪ 303 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,099 -CANDY: Oh, my God. -Wait for it. 304 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,434 ♪ I got the light ♪ 305 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,436 Oh, yeah! Here we go. 306 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,205 [GASPS] Ah! 307 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:57,076 Oh, my God! Amazing! 308 00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:58,778 Hi! 309 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,147 ♪ I got the light ♪ 310 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,815 [GIGGLING] 311 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:09,121 -[CHEERING] -[EVA SCREAMS] 312 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,322 EVA: Oh, my God. 313 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,892 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 314 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,760 [HONEY CHEERING] 315 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:21,300 ♪ I got the light ♪ 316 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:33,179 ♪ I got the light ♪ 317 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,084 -Hey! -Ah! 318 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,420 -EVA: Hi! -It's so good to see you, babe. 319 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,555 Good to see you, too. 320 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,623 And who is your gorgeous friend? 321 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,357 EVA: Oh, uh... 322 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,760 Honey, this is Freedom. He's a great artist. 323 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,829 He does these cool light installations. 324 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,464 -HONEY: Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 325 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,966 [CHUCKLING] 326 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,268 I would really love to show you my art installations. 327 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,603 I would love to see your art installations. 328 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,972 Yeah, I'd really love to dance with you right now. 329 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,574 -Okay! -Yeah. 330 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:05,077 [MUSIC PLAYING] 331 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,149 ♪ I got the light ♪ 332 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:13,886 ♪ I got the light ♪ 333 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:17,122 ♪ I got the light ♪ 334 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,993 ♪ Oh I got the light ♪ 335 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,096 -Want to get something to eat? -[SIGHS] 336 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,299 I-- I can't, 'cause I have to get up early tomorrow, 337 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,568 and I have a boyfriend. 338 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,805 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 339 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,306 What's that? 340 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,174 "No one... 341 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,308 can take away the dance." 342 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,544 -[CHUCKLES] -It's a Spanish saying. 343 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,578 No matter what happens, 344 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,314 we'll always have this wonderful night... 345 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,483 and our dance. 346 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,018 HONEY: Oh. 347 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,888 Thanks for your jacket. [CHUCKLES] 348 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,856 That was fun. 349 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,191 ♪ I got the light ♪ 350 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,861 ♪ I got the light ♪ ♪ I got the light ♪ 351 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,497 -The dance lives forever. -[FREEDOM CHUCKLES] 352 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,532 FREEDOM: Dance lives forever! 353 00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,702 ♪ I got the light ♪ 354 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:07,539 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ I got the light ♪ 355 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:11,844 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ All of the way ♪ 356 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,613 ♪ I got the light ♪ 357 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,782 This is what I want to happen. I want the slut 358 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,784 to have an orgasm, and when she has an orgasm 359 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,185 I want the killer to come up behind her 360 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,787 and just stab her in the ass, okay? 361 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,822 I want there to be a lot of blood in this scene. 362 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,324 Like, almost too much, where you're like... 363 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:29,194 But--but a lot, but, like-- but, like, almost too much. 364 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,130 I also want there to be very good dialogue, 365 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,731 okay? And that's where you come in. 366 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,967 So I want the character to say something cool, like, 367 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,435 "Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you!" 368 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,170 "Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you." Got it. 369 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,639 Do whatever you want to do, but that. 370 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,643 I'm sick of watching women get stabbed in movies. [SIGHS] 371 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:48,814 I think it's a great idea, Peter. I love all your ideas. 372 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,150 So much. 373 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,619 Excuse me, but why does the woman who enjoys sex 374 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,187 always have to die in horror films? 375 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,790 Maybe she could fight back. 376 00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,527 We could work in some more nudity that way. 377 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,661 What if the slut fights the killer 378 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,764 and every orgasm she has makes her stronger. 379 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,832 [CHUCKLES] That's funny. 380 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,101 I think we should at least try it. 381 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,003 Well, you know what, John? I would try that, 382 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,004 but I-- I can't-- I actually-- 383 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,939 I think that that's probably the worst fucking idea 384 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,274 I've ever heard in my entire life, 385 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,775 so I probably can't do that one. 386 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,677 I like sluts. Why do they all have to die? 387 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,113 I mean, nobody kills male sluts in movies. 388 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,915 I like sluts, too. 389 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,683 Who doesn't like sluts? 390 00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:25,818 Maybe one should live. 391 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,920 Well... Linda, the thing is, you already approved 392 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,888 -the draft that I wrote, so-- -Who are you? 393 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,690 I'm a development person. 394 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,827 Well, yeah, she was my old assistant until recently 395 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,861 I promoted her into development 396 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,497 before I realized what an angry feminist she is. 397 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,900 She's also a writer. Actually, a really good writer. 398 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,068 Well, we all write. 399 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:43,936 I want to be a writer. 400 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,205 I'm-- I'm the young assistant. 401 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,606 -Peter's. -All right, 402 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,174 well, you know, that's confusing, 403 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,244 but I like this idea. I think we should explore it. 404 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:55,581 -Yeah, Linda, but I think-- -Peter, I gave you final cut. 405 00:16:55,581 --> 00:17:00,152 No studio's gonna offer you that. The slut lives. 406 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,020 Old assistant person, 407 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,456 I would like you and John to work on the next draft. 408 00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,558 Get it to me when you're done. 409 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,795 -[HONEY SIGHS] -PETER: Linda, if I could just-- 410 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,331 LINDA: Yeah, I have an appointment in St. Barts 411 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,099 later today. 412 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,835 [PHONE RINGING] 413 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,005 Excuse me, but what the hell was that? 414 00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,640 Well, when we started working together, 415 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,542 you said you liked my ideas. 416 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,676 It embarrasses me to think 417 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:27,312 about the idiotic films that you want to make. 418 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,280 Thought it was a good idea. 419 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,816 Better than a guy stabbing a girl in the ass. 420 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,517 Sex and violence 421 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,119 is a proven formula that makes a profit. 422 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,888 Well, what about... 423 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,623 sex and happiness? 424 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,425 You're embarrassing yourself! 425 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,860 The-- What are you talking about? 426 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,263 I want to break up. 427 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,066 PETER: What? Really? 428 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,935 You want to break up with-- with me? 429 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,403 Do you have any idea 430 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,373 how many girls want to sleep with me right now, 431 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,141 huh? So many. 432 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,476 I'm Peter Brock, okay? 433 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,945 Well, why don't you go have sex with them? 434 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,614 Yeah, maybe I-- maybe I will, okay? 435 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,317 But, no, you know what? Actually... 436 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,752 rewind. I break up with you. 437 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,088 Before what you said, I break up with you 438 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,889 before you said you break up with me. 439 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,591 It was my idea. 440 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,793 Great idea. 441 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,795 I'm Peter Brock. Look at this. 442 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,865 Look at all-- There's three posters here. 443 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:20,532 More-- I-- 444 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,469 There's some behind the door I didn't even hang up. 445 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,472 You are my honey bunny. Come here. 446 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,041 You are my honey bunny. 447 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,877 Oh... 448 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,615 Get me a coffee. 449 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,817 [DOGS BARKING] 450 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,255 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 451 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,091 Yeah, but he sounds like a wanker. 452 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:46,925 Why work for him? 453 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,827 Well, it's hard to find work in the movie business. 454 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,363 -It's a man's world. [SIGHS] -Yeah, 455 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,799 well, yeah. Huh? 456 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,167 Mm! 457 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,603 Do you like eating with your hands? 458 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,004 Um, I don't know. 459 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,608 Mm. You know, you can just feel the food, you know? 460 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,543 Sometimes I just want to eat like a dog. 461 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:08,180 Yeah, I just want to put my face in there, yeah? 462 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,482 Huh? 463 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,285 [GROANS] Mm-mm! 464 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,387 [CHUCKLES] 465 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,121 Come on, try it. 466 00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:17,322 Oh, it's so good. Give it a go. 467 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,124 -Come on. -Oh, no, it's okay. 468 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,126 Come on. You've got to try this. 469 00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,295 Come on. 470 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,399 -Mm. Yum. -Yeah? Right? 471 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,934 -Delicious. [CHUCKLES] -Yeah. 472 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,869 It's straight from the plate to your face. 473 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,304 Wow, it's so much better this way. 474 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,907 It is, absolutely. I'm gonna join you down here. 475 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,209 Mm! Oh, it's so good! Mm! 476 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,911 CANDY: [PANTING] I love you. 477 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,245 MAN: I love you. 478 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,447 [PANTING] 479 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,316 You know I don't... 480 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:45,951 want a relationship, right? 481 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,286 You knew that, though, right? [CHUCKLES] 482 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,987 -That's just... That's just... -[LAUGHS] Wait. 483 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:52,124 Well, aren't we already actually having a relationship? 484 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,725 -I mean... -I mean, if you wanna-- 485 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,927 ...we've been dating for two years 486 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,128 and you just told me you loved me. 487 00:19:56,128 --> 00:20:00,766 Oh, Yeah, well, you know, I-- Yeah, I love you, you know, I-- 488 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:04,903 I love you as a sister, you know, as a friend, and... 489 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,539 as-- as a sexual partner, uh... 490 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,175 as-- as a fellow human being, you know? 491 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,978 But I think we should just find a new and better way to-- 492 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,746 to do relationships. 493 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,482 -You know? -Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 494 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,550 [CHUCKLES] 495 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,252 -Right? -Okay. 496 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:23,355 Oh. Shit. Babe, I got to-- I got to go, actually, 497 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,392 'cause I have a... I just-- I just got a crazy week. 498 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,727 Oh, can I also, uh-- 499 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:33,498 Babe, can I-- can I leave that, uh, my laundry here and, uh... 500 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,367 get it on Thursday? 501 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:39,438 You want me to do your laundry while you date other women? 502 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,074 That's... I mean, that would be really insensitive 503 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,076 if we were in some old-fashioned, 504 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,377 you know, closed-minded... 505 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,312 relationship, but since we're not, you know, 506 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,815 we're-- we're, uh, we're not confining ourselves 507 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,750 to societal norms, then I think-- 508 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,086 I think it's fine. Yeah. 509 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,754 All right. 510 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,955 Bye. 511 00:20:56,955 --> 00:21:00,125 [MUSIC PLAYING] 512 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,599 Hey. Um, me again. Listen, 513 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,433 I was just gonna say 514 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:12,137 why don't you just ignore those previous voicemails, okay? 515 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:12,938 Because... [SIGHS] 516 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,841 here's-- here's the real truth, okay? 517 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,509 Let's get honest. 518 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,311 I am great. 519 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,912 I'm great. I'm so great. 520 00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:25,617 And I'm super-happy for you and Chandra. 521 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,885 And here's the thing, 522 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,187 I'm so happy! I'm so happy and I'm great. 523 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,224 Like, if great were people, I'd be, like, fucking-- 524 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,759 Where is there a lot of people? India? 525 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:39,164 Beijing? I'm fucking Beijing. That's how great I am. 526 00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,833 So I saved one of your messages that you left me, 527 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,068 you know, right when you were, like, 528 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,803 "Hey, by the way, I'm fucking a 19-year-old." 529 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,372 It's such a great message. It's so amazing. 530 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,575 I'm so glad you told me things on a voicemail. 531 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,576 You are so brave. 532 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,879 And by "brave," I mean, like, 533 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,913 you're a fucking idiot. 534 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:55,881 I just wanted you to know that. 535 00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,883 I saved it, and I play it for my friends. 536 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,384 And we laugh and laugh. 537 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:02,120 And then I tell them about your weird dick. 538 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,756 And I'm fucking naked. 539 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:05,624 And I have on-- [GROANS] 540 00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:08,226 I have on those... high-heel, like, 541 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,295 fuck-me pumps that you love. 542 00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,331 Oh, yeah, I'm naked. 543 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,598 Mm. You know what else? 544 00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:16,735 Remember that time you told me to squeeze your dick really hard 545 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,170 at the base of it? 546 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,305 I'm fucking doing that... 547 00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:23,475 and you don't-- Yeah, and it's awesome. 548 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,479 So, baby, call me. 549 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,353 'Cause I could suck your cock. [SOBBING] 550 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,555 I really think you should come over, 551 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:38,857 'cause I might do something bad to myself. 552 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,427 Oh, my God, I might do something so bad, and then... 553 00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,595 I mean, I don't know what I would do, 554 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:46,031 but it would be bad, and then you would feel guilty, 555 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,333 like, for the rest of your life. 556 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,534 So... 557 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:53,572 I can't wait to hear from you. Okay. 558 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,340 Bye! 559 00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:59,211 [MUSIC PLAYING] 560 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,283 Wow. 561 00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:07,285 This is amazing. 562 00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,691 [MUSIC PLAYING] 563 00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:21,133 -Is this all your art? -Oh, yeah. 564 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,801 See... 565 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:26,304 our society is sick, yeah? 566 00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,408 [SIGHS] It's no wonder the Earth is dying, 567 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:33,178 'cause the culture sends its message, yeah? 568 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:35,080 Join the rat race. Make money. 569 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,848 Be a winner, otherwise you're nothing. 570 00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:40,352 It's read Us Weekly. Drink the Kool-Aid. 571 00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:41,720 Fuck that shit. 572 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,557 I'm my own man. I mean, sure, got to make money. 573 00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,759 But I don't let them own me 574 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,295 by seeking their approval, yeah? 575 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:53,465 I'm free. [GASPS] 576 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,067 Why I chose the name Freedom. 577 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,869 Okay. 578 00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:01,807 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 579 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:06,278 I don't go to exercise classes, you know? 580 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:08,547 I do my own thing. 581 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:09,981 [PANTING] 582 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:11,750 Why follow the man? 583 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,785 I create my own moves 584 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:17,422 I don't need someone to give them to me. [CHUCKLES] 585 00:24:17,422 --> 00:24:20,459 Well, yoga exercises are thousands of years old 586 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,594 for a reason. They really work. 587 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:31,603 Why don't you let the man out of you? 588 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:35,841 Why don't you go your own way... 589 00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,344 instead of trying to please people? 590 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,017 [MUSIC PLAYING] 591 00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:59,331 Are you gonna keep doing those moves? 592 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,500 Oh, yeah. 593 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,549 -DARREN: Eva? -[DOOR KNOCKING] 594 00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,087 Shit. 595 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,755 Are you in there? 596 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,661 Hi. 597 00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:31,696 Fuck-me pumps, huh? 598 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,165 EVA: Uh, they're upstairs. You want me to get them? 599 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,600 No. That's okay. 600 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,369 I took them off 'cause they hurt my feet. 601 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,905 -Mm-hmm. -You put on the sweats. 602 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,874 I was worried, obviously. 603 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,109 So many messages. 604 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,043 You were worried about me? 605 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:48,513 Well... 14 messages and some suicide threats. 606 00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:52,751 I never said suicide. I said, "Maybe something bad." 607 00:25:53,418 --> 00:25:57,255 And that you would die alone. You're not gonna die alone. 608 00:25:57,622 --> 00:25:59,024 But if you do... 609 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,526 it's because of doing things like this. 610 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,296 You look really nice. 611 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:05,830 Thank you. I'm gonna go. 612 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,099 It's Chandra's birthday. We're doing a thing. 613 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:10,335 [GASPS] It's her birthday? 614 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,437 Oh, wait, I have a question for you. 615 00:26:12,437 --> 00:26:15,040 -Mm-hmm. -Like, where was Chandra... 616 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,776 when I was putting you through art school? 617 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:19,144 Oh, my God! That's right! 618 00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:20,245 Here comes the flood. 619 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,279 -Oh, my God! -Here it is. 620 00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:23,181 -She was in kindergarten. Yay! -We are doing this. 621 00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:25,650 Well, guess what, Eva, I could never keep up with you, 622 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,519 'cause all you ever cared about was money. 623 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,020 You're a fucking liar, 624 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,689 because I don't care about money. 625 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:33,592 I put you through art school. You're just like... What? 626 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,493 What do you even do for a living? 627 00:26:35,493 --> 00:26:36,461 You drive a douchebag car. 628 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,730 I wanted a much douchier car than that. 629 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:40,131 That was the one we could afford. 630 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:42,133 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 631 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:44,035 I don't like you right now. 632 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:45,470 I love you... 633 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:48,106 somewhat. But right now... 634 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:50,308 I don't think you would like you, either, 635 00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,277 'cause you're being horrible... 636 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,878 and you look... 637 00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:54,879 horrible. 638 00:26:54,879 --> 00:26:58,416 [SOBBING] I just wanted to have a baby! 639 00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:00,251 Okay. Come here. 640 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,254 Come here. Come here. 641 00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,389 -Hi. Hi. -Don't, don't, don't. 642 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:06,858 No, don't make it a thing. Don't make it a thing. 643 00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:09,260 Oh, my God, you smell so weird. 644 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:10,862 -You smell so good. -No, just don't. 645 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,332 Don't humiliate yourself anymore than you have, okay? 646 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:15,200 You smell like... 647 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,836 -I don't know, like, lavender-- -Okay. Just stop. Just stop. 648 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,137 Don't embarrass yourself... 649 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,806 -anymore. -You don't embarrass yourself, 650 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:23,508 buddy. You settle down. 651 00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:25,844 -What's happening down there? -Don't. Don't. 652 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,979 -We're not. -[SIGHS] Okay. 653 00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:31,883 Brew up some coffee. Don't. Please. 654 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:35,120 I care very deeply about you without loving you. 655 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,089 Throw up, go to sleep, take a shower. 656 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:39,791 I already threw up. 657 00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:43,662 [SOBBING] I love you so much. 658 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:46,131 Bye. Thank you for coming! 659 00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:49,200 [HONEY MOANING] 660 00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:56,541 The only reason a man and a woman 661 00:27:56,541 --> 00:27:59,310 should have carnal knowledge of each other... 662 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:00,979 is to create a child. 663 00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:02,514 [HONEY MOANING] 664 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,315 Any other physical union 665 00:28:04,315 --> 00:28:08,019 between a man and a woman... 666 00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,954 is a sin. 667 00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:13,091 [MOANING] 668 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:15,160 And sins are punishable 669 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,862 by hellfire and damnation. 670 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:18,730 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 671 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:22,200 -You will go to hell! -HONEY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 672 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,836 I'm sorry. [MOANING] 673 00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,272 You all right? 674 00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:31,910 -Did I just say that out loud? -Yeah. 675 00:28:33,812 --> 00:28:34,512 It felt so good. 676 00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:37,348 It felt like I was doing something wrong. 677 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,917 I'm fucked up. 678 00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,952 I don't think you're fucked up. 679 00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,455 -You don't? -No. 680 00:28:44,022 --> 00:28:46,091 I think you're divine. 681 00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,260 Divinity itself... 682 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,329 in a physical form. 683 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,032 -Really? -Yeah. 684 00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:56,768 [MUSIC PLAYING] 685 00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:12,350 I thought I knew what sex and orgasms were before, 686 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,118 but I did not. 687 00:29:13,118 --> 00:29:15,553 I feel like I understand the meaning of life now, 688 00:29:15,553 --> 00:29:17,288 and the meaning of life is to have as much sex 689 00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:21,226 as possible with this guy over and over again. 690 00:29:21,226 --> 00:29:23,061 Oh! Great sex! 691 00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:24,596 Oh, it makes you do stupid things. 692 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,798 I feel like I tried to please the guy so much before 693 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:29,801 that I never, like, really got off. 694 00:29:30,301 --> 00:29:31,870 Darren would just... [SIGHS] 695 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,939 jam it in there without a lot of warm-up. 696 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,508 And that was on the rare occasions 697 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:38,910 that he could get it up. [SIGHS] 698 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:39,878 This is your ex? 699 00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:41,412 You know what? People say they want to hear the truth, 700 00:29:41,412 --> 00:29:44,582 but they don't. They just want to be, like, "Oh, poor Eva. 701 00:29:44,582 --> 00:29:46,985 Did you hear Eva's husband cheated on her?" 702 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:50,288 Here's the truth, I supported him financially 703 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:51,289 for 14 years. 704 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,658 That emasculated him. Oh, poor guy. 705 00:29:53,658 --> 00:29:56,127 So then he got erectile dysfunction. "Oh, wah" 706 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:58,296 So then he had to go fuck a 21-year-old, 707 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,065 so he could feel like a man again! 708 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,536 He's not worthy of you, 'cause you're great. 709 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,070 Yeah. 710 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:07,572 Thank you. 711 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:09,073 I feel like I have to do everything 712 00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,708 the guy says or he'll leave me. 713 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:13,411 Like, I've been dating this guy for two years, 714 00:30:13,411 --> 00:30:15,880 pretending the entire time like I don't know 715 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,714 he's dating other girls. 716 00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:18,917 You need to ask him for what you want. Just say, 717 00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,084 "I only want you to see me." 718 00:30:20,084 --> 00:30:22,387 Or date other men and flaunt them in front of him. 719 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:23,688 Yeah, but I only want him. 720 00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:24,789 God, why are we sitting around 721 00:30:24,789 --> 00:30:26,457 talking about how sad our lives are? 722 00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:27,559 Why do women do that? 723 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,828 You know, you're right. We should be talking about 724 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:30,662 how great we are, 725 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,164 and if someone gives us a compliment, we should say, 726 00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:36,434 -"Thank you. It's true." -[LAUGHING] 727 00:30:36,434 --> 00:30:38,002 You start. 728 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:38,603 What? 729 00:30:38,603 --> 00:30:40,505 -And give myself a compliment? -HONEY: Yeah. 730 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,173 Yeah, just do it. 731 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,776 Okay. Um... 732 00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:47,011 I think I'm more attractive than I thought 733 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,214 'cause-- All right, well, there's this guy 734 00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:50,715 at the coffee cart on the beach. 735 00:30:50,715 --> 00:30:52,050 He asks me out all the time. 736 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,986 He's super-attractive, and he's 28 737 00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:57,188 [SCREAMS] You should go for it. 738 00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,723 -No. -Yeah! 739 00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:02,861 Really? Move over. There's a new skank in town. 740 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,295 [LAUGHING] 741 00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:05,330 I think I'm gonna tell my man 742 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,665 that I'm not gonna do his laundry. 743 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:08,800 So there! 744 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,269 'Cause I am super hot, and he should feel lucky 745 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:13,371 to tap that ass. So he better behave. 746 00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,973 Yeah. He should do your laundry. 747 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,909 Yeah, you are so hot. Like, really hot. 748 00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,878 Thank you. It's true. 749 00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:22,647 Okay, your turn. 750 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,182 Okay. [SIGHS] 751 00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,483 I'm not a dirty slut. 752 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:29,120 Having sex with me is a religious experience. 753 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,455 Yeah, it is. 754 00:31:30,455 --> 00:31:34,459 -I want a new candle. -Oh, I brought the love candle. 755 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:38,229 Honey. 756 00:31:38,229 --> 00:31:39,697 -Thank you. -Eva. 757 00:31:39,697 --> 00:31:41,266 So sweet. 758 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,533 You know, we talk about pleasing men, 759 00:31:42,533 --> 00:31:45,370 but what about pleasing us? You know what we should say? 760 00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:47,405 "Get down there and lick it. 761 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:48,606 Lick it." 762 00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:50,041 -[LAUGHING] -Lick it. 763 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:53,378 Darren never licked it. I think I'm due. 764 00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:54,746 Lick it! 765 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:56,314 I like it. 766 00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,715 Lick it. 767 00:31:58,016 --> 00:32:02,086 [MUSIC PLAYING] 768 00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:06,357 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 769 00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:08,393 I want to see Freedom again. 770 00:32:08,393 --> 00:32:11,596 I want love and hot sex. 771 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:21,973 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 772 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:22,807 [PHONE BEEPS] 773 00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:24,709 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 774 00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:27,278 [FOREIGN MUSIC PLAYING] 775 00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:50,735 I hope you don't think I'm easy. 776 00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:52,170 Why would I think you're easy? 777 00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:54,706 'Cause we had sex on the first date. 778 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,941 I think it's weird not to have sex 779 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,609 on the first date. 780 00:32:58,977 --> 00:32:59,911 Really? 781 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:03,414 Hey, do you want to go back to my place and get stoned? 782 00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:04,282 -Uh-huh. -Yeah? 783 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:09,620 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 784 00:33:10,955 --> 00:33:12,523 One second. 785 00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:25,103 -Want a hit? -I don't really smoke. 786 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:27,705 -Oh, come on. Just one. -Okay. 787 00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,340 [LAUGHING] 788 00:33:32,176 --> 00:33:34,712 -Yeah. -[COUGHING] 789 00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,148 You all right? 790 00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:37,949 [COUGHING] Yeah. 791 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,385 -You okay? -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 792 00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:44,989 When we were together... 793 00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:47,859 could you feel that energy going back... 794 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,894 and forth between our souls? 795 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:52,430 -It felt amazing. -Yeah. Yeah. 796 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,233 I don't think we even need to talk, yeah? 797 00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,300 Can't you just... 798 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,370 -feel what I'm thinking? -Uh... 799 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:03,574 I don't think so. 800 00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,643 I bet you can, yeah? 801 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,416 Can you feel it now? 802 00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:16,020 -Couldn't you just tell me? -No, no, no. 803 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:24,095 What about now? 804 00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:29,634 Now? 805 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:32,570 I'm the most wonderful person you've ever met? 806 00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:36,240 [SIGHING] 807 00:34:37,141 --> 00:34:39,877 -[FREEDOM GROANING] -[HONEY MOANING] 808 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,247 [HONEY MOANING] 809 00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,392 [MUSIC PLAYING] 810 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:08,272 ♪ All I could ever need Is you and I ♪ 811 00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:21,986 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 812 00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:25,456 ♪ All I could ever see ♪ 813 00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:28,759 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 814 00:35:28,759 --> 00:35:35,633 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 815 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:42,206 ♪ Oh I choose ♪ 816 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:50,248 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 817 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:56,854 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 818 00:35:57,121 --> 00:35:59,991 WOMAN: You have never done anything wrong. 819 00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:03,628 Sex is sacred and beautiful. 820 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:10,234 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 821 00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:14,438 What if all the sluts had mind-blowing orgasms? 822 00:36:14,438 --> 00:36:17,875 Only when they're empowered by their orgasms 823 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:20,278 can they defeat the evil mutant. 824 00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:24,882 Empowered sluts. I like that. That's-- that's provocative. 825 00:36:24,882 --> 00:36:27,985 You think we can get that past the ratings board? 826 00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:30,388 Hey, guys, uh, 827 00:36:30,388 --> 00:36:32,423 sorry, I just downloaded this new app. 828 00:36:32,423 --> 00:36:34,659 It detects shitty movie ideas, 829 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,495 and it literally led me right here. 830 00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:38,896 Anyway... 831 00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:41,265 let me know if you have any real movie ideas 832 00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:44,569 that we can turn into actual movies. 833 00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:47,038 Okay. Bye. 834 00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:53,077 Encouraging. 835 00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:54,412 Love that guy. 836 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,514 Oh, I wanted to say, um, 837 00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:57,648 I-- I read your script, 838 00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:01,085 uh, about the Afghan woman who fights for the right 839 00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:03,521 to divorce her husband. That was strong. 840 00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:04,755 How did you get a copy of that? 841 00:37:04,755 --> 00:37:07,658 I got connects. You know what I'm saying? 842 00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:08,893 -Whoa. -Actually, 843 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,162 Peter wanted me to, uh, write coverage. 844 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,130 Oh, I thought he read that one. 845 00:37:13,130 --> 00:37:14,665 Well, I don't know. He's a busy guy. 846 00:37:14,665 --> 00:37:18,069 But I really love the scene where Afshan says, um, 847 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,173 "This is my woman part to do with what I want." 848 00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:25,409 -[SIGHS] -That was pretty intense. 849 00:37:25,843 --> 00:37:28,946 -You really liked it? -Yeah, it was powerful. 850 00:37:33,117 --> 00:37:34,619 [PHONE BEEPS] 851 00:37:34,619 --> 00:37:36,287 [CHUCKLING] 852 00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,266 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 853 00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,279 I want love. 854 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:07,351 [MUSIC PLAYING] 855 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:10,554 And so mote it be. 856 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,323 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 857 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,825 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 858 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,261 Oh, thank you, honey. 859 00:38:17,261 --> 00:38:20,631 Hi, um, I'll just take a regular coffee, please. Um, 860 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:24,201 I'm just looking for this guy. I think he works here. 861 00:38:24,201 --> 00:38:26,671 I don't know his name, but he's 28. 862 00:38:26,671 --> 00:38:29,740 I know, 28. I know. I know. I know what you're thinking. 863 00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:31,275 Do you know who I'm talking about? 864 00:38:31,275 --> 00:38:32,710 -MAN: No. -No? 865 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:33,678 Eva? 866 00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:35,279 -Mark! -MARK: Hi! 867 00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:36,681 Oh, my God. 868 00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:39,116 Oh, it's been so long. How are you? 869 00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:41,786 Good. I'm okay. Yeah. 870 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:42,853 How's Darren? 871 00:38:42,853 --> 00:38:45,923 We got a divorce. He didn't tell you? 872 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,626 Uh, yeah, I... I heard. 873 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,961 -Sorry. -Yeah. 874 00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:53,798 Uh, Rebecca and I got divorced, too. 875 00:38:54,098 --> 00:38:55,399 I'm so sorry. 876 00:38:55,399 --> 00:38:57,968 No, actually, it's for the best. 877 00:38:58,035 --> 00:38:59,837 Plus we have two beautiful daughters, 878 00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:02,573 five and ten, so no regrets. 879 00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:05,009 [MUSIC PLAYING] 880 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,544 -Don't you want to get a coffee? -Uh, 881 00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:09,213 yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. 882 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:10,114 [CHUCKLES 883 00:39:10,114 --> 00:39:13,217 -What are you doing right now? -Uh... 884 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:14,452 nothing. 885 00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:17,221 You want to go for a walk, catch up a little? 886 00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:19,457 Yeah, I'd really like that. 887 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,659 I was making dresses in my kitchen, 888 00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:24,595 and then just, boom! You know? 889 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:26,230 That's amazing. 890 00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:30,501 I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Uh... 891 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:34,171 -I feel like such a failure. -Oh, don't say that. 892 00:39:34,171 --> 00:39:35,840 I just wish we would've had kids, 893 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,109 you know, like you guys, but we were 894 00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,810 never on the same page with that. 895 00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,880 Eva, you are in no way a failure. 896 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,084 You're a huge, huge success in every way. 897 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:51,422 Wow. 898 00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:55,092 Stunning. 899 00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:57,962 Thank you. It's true. 900 00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:02,099 "Thank you. It's true." I like that. 901 00:40:03,934 --> 00:40:06,203 Did you know I left the law firm? 902 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:07,204 No. 903 00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:09,206 Yeah, you know, grew the hair out, 904 00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:10,975 stopped shaving... 905 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:12,910 opened a restaurant. 906 00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:14,345 No way! 907 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:16,347 Yeah. You always told me I should. 908 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:17,915 Remember that night I made the panna cotta 909 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,817 -with the aged balsamico? -Yes. 910 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:22,820 I had, like, a food orgasm over that dessert. 911 00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,555 [CHUCKLES] Yes, you did. 912 00:40:25,556 --> 00:40:27,191 [CHUCKLING] 913 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,193 Congratulations. 914 00:40:29,493 --> 00:40:30,895 You're amazing. 915 00:40:30,895 --> 00:40:32,430 Thank you. 916 00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,131 It's true. 917 00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,200 [SCOFFS] 918 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,203 I feel a little lost in my life. 919 00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,872 -You know? -Okay. 920 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,240 I don't know, like, 921 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,175 why am I a success? 922 00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:46,977 I mean, is it because I make dresses? 923 00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:49,013 Um... 924 00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:51,482 yeah, I suppose everybody would say that, 925 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,984 but, uh, personally? 926 00:40:56,253 --> 00:40:59,123 You're just good to be around. 927 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:02,793 I'm always happy when I'm near you. 928 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:06,597 That is crazy-sweet. 929 00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:10,167 And you are crazy-beautiful. 930 00:41:10,568 --> 00:41:12,236 [CHUCKLES] Oh, wait. 931 00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:14,705 Oh, my God! What-- what? 932 00:41:18,843 --> 00:41:21,579 I've had a crush on you for 14 years. 933 00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:24,582 Really? Why? [CHUCKLES] 934 00:41:24,849 --> 00:41:27,084 Wait, wait, wait. 935 00:41:27,084 --> 00:41:27,785 What-- what, uh, 936 00:41:27,785 --> 00:41:29,987 what are we do-- what are we doing? Because I-- 937 00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,355 I haven't been with anyone 938 00:41:31,355 --> 00:41:32,690 -since my husband-- -Shh. 939 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:36,026 Um-- I would like to keep my clothes on. 940 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,928 If you just-- 941 00:41:37,928 --> 00:41:39,763 Uh... God, you're-- 942 00:41:39,763 --> 00:41:41,165 Um-- Oh, my God! Wait! 943 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:44,635 Wait a second! That's-- Oh, my God! [CHUCKLES] 944 00:41:44,635 --> 00:41:47,404 Oh, my God! You're so good at this! 945 00:41:47,404 --> 00:41:49,039 I've wanted to do this since I met you. 946 00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:51,375 That's what you were thinking the whole time... 947 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:54,144 when we met at Walmart? Are you kidding me? 948 00:41:54,144 --> 00:41:55,613 -Mm. -That's kind of weird. 949 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,782 Thank you for telling me, 'cause I was, like, thinking, 950 00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:00,985 "Oh, nice guy at Walmart. 951 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:04,021 He-- he buys, like, stuff in bulk. I get it." 952 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,324 Oh. Uh... Oh, my God. Oh, God. 953 00:42:07,324 --> 00:42:09,393 Oh, God. And I then was, like, 954 00:42:09,393 --> 00:42:10,628 "Hey, you drive a Prius. 955 00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,330 And that's cool. You know, cool person." 956 00:42:13,330 --> 00:42:14,131 Hey, what-- what-- 957 00:42:14,131 --> 00:42:17,434 Just slow down on that bottom part. Oh, my God. 958 00:42:17,434 --> 00:42:18,669 Shut up. I'm gonna stop talking now. 959 00:42:18,669 --> 00:42:23,007 I'm not gonna talk anymore. I'm not gonna talk anymore. 960 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,242 [MOANING] 961 00:42:25,242 --> 00:42:26,877 You're, like, really good at this. 962 00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:29,046 Oh, God. Wait, I didn't groom. I didn't groom! 963 00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:31,181 Ah! Okay, okay, no, actually, I'm okay with that. 964 00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:34,351 I'm okay with it. Never mind. Don't listen to me. Don't stop. 965 00:42:34,351 --> 00:42:36,720 Don't stop. [GIGGLING] 966 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,490 [MOANING] 967 00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:42,226 [MUSIC PLAYING] 968 00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:44,728 I want love. 969 00:42:48,499 --> 00:42:51,936 [MUSIC PLAYING] 970 00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:54,772 Babe? 971 00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:57,474 Do you have, uh, that bag? I'm doing that lecture 972 00:42:57,474 --> 00:43:00,277 on techno-social wormholes downtown, and they're, uh-- 973 00:43:00,277 --> 00:43:02,479 they're gonna put it on YouTube. 974 00:43:02,479 --> 00:43:04,248 Isn't that great? 975 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:08,118 I didn't have time to do your laundry. 976 00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:09,653 And... 977 00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:14,658 if you want to be with me, you can't date anybody else. 978 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:17,361 Have you noticed that I'm great? 979 00:43:17,361 --> 00:43:18,729 'Cause you don't treat me that way. 980 00:43:18,729 --> 00:43:21,498 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's all this coming from? 981 00:43:21,498 --> 00:43:22,533 It's coming from me. 982 00:43:22,533 --> 00:43:26,203 But you were fine with everything a few days ago. 983 00:43:26,537 --> 00:43:28,005 I take care of you. 984 00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:29,540 When are you gonna take care of me? 985 00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:32,543 Relationships are hard for me. My parents got divorced. 986 00:43:32,543 --> 00:43:33,477 Oh, God! Stop it! 987 00:43:33,477 --> 00:43:36,814 Stop using that as an excuse for everything! 988 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:39,950 My family was fucked up, too! Let it go! 989 00:43:40,150 --> 00:43:43,921 I don't really like your tone of voice right now, honestly. 990 00:43:43,921 --> 00:43:45,856 You need to figure that out. 991 00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:49,627 Uh, well, those don't look very clean to me. 992 00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:51,762 No. 993 00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:54,031 They're very dirty. 994 00:43:54,264 --> 00:43:56,266 -What? -Yeah. 995 00:43:56,734 --> 00:43:57,768 Extremely dirty. 996 00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:00,204 -And smelly! -Babe, seriously? 997 00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:01,271 [GRUNTS] You know, you're gonna-- 998 00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:02,706 you're gonna regret this tomorrow. 999 00:44:02,706 --> 00:44:05,476 And-- and when you do, you can call me, okay? 1000 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:10,147 When you are ready to treat me like the amazing person I am, 1001 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,317 you call me! I won't be calling you. 1002 00:44:14,284 --> 00:44:15,786 Take that! 1003 00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:18,188 I was gonna wear this. I was gonna wear this. 1004 00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:21,558 Now it's even more dirty. It's more dirty now. 1005 00:44:21,558 --> 00:44:23,193 Pussy! 1006 00:44:24,561 --> 00:44:26,530 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1007 00:44:26,530 --> 00:44:29,967 And, uh, where am I gonna clean these? 1008 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:32,269 Do you have a place? 1009 00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:36,006 Okay, you know what? Thank you. Thank you. That's great. 1010 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,508 Okay, we'll-- we'll talk. 1011 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,610 The guy shows her the beauty of her own soul 1012 00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:43,313 through sexuality, and then she defeats the killer. 1013 00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:44,615 -[SIGHS] -Hmm. Well, I'm not sure 1014 00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:46,283 how to fit that into a teenage slasher film, 1015 00:44:46,283 --> 00:44:49,853 but I like the challenge. I'm gonna get cracking on it. 1016 00:44:50,054 --> 00:44:52,256 PETER: Don't shoot the dinosaur. He's on your side. 1017 00:44:52,256 --> 00:44:53,090 What are you guys doing? 1018 00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:54,892 We're working on a video game based on the film. 1019 00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:57,861 Yeah, it's really gonna boost our profits on this one. 1020 00:44:57,861 --> 00:45:00,764 Peter came up with it all by himself. 1021 00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:03,133 The goal of the game is to build up your empire... 1022 00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,035 -This is my idea. -...and kill as many sluts 1023 00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,570 and douchebags that get in your way. 1024 00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:07,371 That's is my idea. 1025 00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:08,539 Once you reach the higher levels, 1026 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,807 -you'll meet a virgin... -This is my idea. 1027 00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:11,442 -...with special powers. -My idea. My idea. 1028 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:13,043 Every time you see a slut, 1029 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,445 -you can kill her... -That's my idea. 1030 00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:15,579 -...and get the points. -My idea. 1031 00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:18,082 Sometimes I like to shoot her in the boobs or crotch area. 1032 00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:20,050 -[LAUGHING] -The last one was his idea. 1033 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:25,189 -[SCREAMS] -Boom! That slut went down! 1034 00:45:26,323 --> 00:45:28,325 -So what do you think? -[MAN LAUGHING IN GAME] 1035 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:29,460 I think it's really disturbing 1036 00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:31,929 and it makes me want to, like, vomit in my mouth. 1037 00:45:31,929 --> 00:45:33,997 Hey, man, I need you to go through the video game 1038 00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:35,232 and make sure that all of the girls, 1039 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:36,967 under their shirts, you can see their erect nipples. 1040 00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:39,670 -I need you to do that for me. -Great idea! 1041 00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:40,337 So smart. 1042 00:45:40,337 --> 00:45:42,339 Look, The script that John and I are writing 1043 00:45:42,339 --> 00:45:43,540 is a totally different story. 1044 00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:45,275 Yeah, I know, and thank God it's a different story, 1045 00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:48,679 because your script sucked shit, and this video game 1046 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:49,646 is going to sell like Molly 1047 00:45:49,646 --> 00:45:52,015 to a girl that doesn't talk to her parents that much, okay? 1048 00:45:52,015 --> 00:45:53,550 I need you to be on nipple supervision, all right? 1049 00:45:53,550 --> 00:45:55,352 You got to go through the video game and make sure 1050 00:45:55,352 --> 00:45:57,387 that every girl's nipples are erect, okay? 1051 00:45:57,387 --> 00:45:58,989 We're gonna go for the only demographic 1052 00:45:58,989 --> 00:46:00,624 that matters, and that's teenage boys. 1053 00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:02,493 Well, that's ridiculous because John and I 1054 00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,861 are writing a great script. 1055 00:46:03,861 --> 00:46:05,662 I'm sorry. That app is going off that I downloaded. 1056 00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,564 It keeps going off when people say stupid shit. 1057 00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:08,899 Uh, let me fix this. Turn it off. 1058 00:46:08,899 --> 00:46:12,703 [CLEARS THROAT] You want to know what men really get off on? 1059 00:46:12,703 --> 00:46:13,804 No. 1060 00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:14,905 The conquest, okay? 1061 00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,940 Look, I'm a hunter. We're hunters. We're men. 1062 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:20,410 I'm a man. I'm a hunter, okay? I hunted you. I got you. 1063 00:46:20,410 --> 00:46:21,912 I found you. I kept you for a little bit, 1064 00:46:21,912 --> 00:46:24,715 and then I got bored, and then you left and now I'm-- 1065 00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:27,751 I'm attracted to you again, you know? That's what works. 1066 00:46:27,751 --> 00:46:28,819 The plan worked, okay? 1067 00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:32,022 So let's just go have sex in my office. 1068 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,457 No. 1069 00:46:33,824 --> 00:46:35,726 Everything you have is... 1070 00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:40,030 Turn your fucking head. What's your... What's your name? 1071 00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:40,697 Demarcus. 1072 00:46:40,697 --> 00:46:41,932 You're the whitest guy in the world, 1073 00:46:41,932 --> 00:46:46,270 and his name's fucking Demarcus. Hey, I'm DeShawn. 1074 00:46:46,570 --> 00:46:47,137 Anyway, 1075 00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:51,441 every-- everything you have is because of me. 1076 00:46:51,441 --> 00:46:53,477 But I want to be a writer. 1077 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,711 Can you just make sure you supervise 1078 00:46:54,711 --> 00:46:56,713 all the nipples, please? That's what I need from you. 1079 00:46:56,713 --> 00:47:00,117 That is, if you want to get a paycheck, big boobs. 1080 00:47:03,754 --> 00:47:04,488 [SIGHS] 1081 00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:07,457 "I want to be a writer." [MUMBLING] 1082 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:11,428 Mark was down there for so long. 1083 00:47:11,428 --> 00:47:13,330 I wonder what he was thinking about. 1084 00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:16,133 -He was thinking: Yum, yum! -[LAUGHING] 1085 00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,001 I feel like guys who won't go down on you 1086 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:18,902 aren't hetero enough. 1087 00:47:18,902 --> 00:47:20,838 I mean, what would they rather be doing, 1088 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,472 sucking a cock? 1089 00:47:22,539 --> 00:47:23,373 This guy sounds amazing. 1090 00:47:23,373 --> 00:47:24,908 You can totally tell the difference between a guy 1091 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,610 who's into it and a guy who's not. 1092 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:28,779 I didn't even know that I liked it that much, 1093 00:47:28,779 --> 00:47:32,182 but I haven't had sex with a lot of people. 1094 00:47:32,382 --> 00:47:33,350 It's good if a guy's good at it. 1095 00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:36,787 Otherwise, it's like sandpaper rubbing against your clitoris 1096 00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,755 while you lay in a pool of saliva. 1097 00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:40,057 -Ah! -Oh! 1098 00:47:40,057 --> 00:47:41,625 Well, this guy was great at it. 1099 00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:43,727 I think he could write an instruction manual 1100 00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,062 -on tonguemanship. -Wow! 1101 00:47:45,062 --> 00:47:47,965 -Did you have sex? -I had great sex. 1102 00:47:47,965 --> 00:47:49,933 -I had the best sex of my life. -[BOTH GASP] 1103 00:47:49,933 --> 00:47:52,369 You guys both had great sex and I got nothing. 1104 00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:53,303 Are you going out again? 1105 00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:54,872 I don't know. What's the point? 1106 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,007 -Getting head! -The best sex of your life. 1107 00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:59,343 I can't. I just look better with clothes on. 1108 00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,278 I don't want him to see me naked. 1109 00:48:01,278 --> 00:48:03,013 But you let him lick your naked vagina. 1110 00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,082 I know, but that was just one tiny section 1111 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:07,918 down there. And-- and I had clothes on. 1112 00:48:07,918 --> 00:48:09,853 Plus, I work with models all day at work, 1113 00:48:09,853 --> 00:48:11,121 and they're in such great shape. 1114 00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:13,624 Just-- I look like crap compared to them. 1115 00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:15,025 You are hot! 1116 00:48:15,492 --> 00:48:16,593 I don't know. 1117 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:18,228 Maybe he's too nice. 1118 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:20,130 I'd take nice over mean any day. 1119 00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,766 Yeah, or commitment-phobic. 1120 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,236 Let's make a pact to be with good guys only. 1121 00:48:26,236 --> 00:48:29,439 Guys who treat us great, like we deserve. 1122 00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:31,575 Yeah, good-guy pact. 1123 00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,543 Mark is so handsome. 1124 00:48:33,543 --> 00:48:35,445 There must be something wrong with him. 1125 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,381 Or maybe I just don't know how to be with someone 1126 00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:40,117 who's so sexually giving, which means I like jerks, 1127 00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:42,786 which also means I can't be in the good-guy pact. 1128 00:48:42,786 --> 00:48:45,088 I'm gonna light a candle for you and Mark. 1129 00:48:45,088 --> 00:48:46,957 Me, too. Okay. 1130 00:48:46,957 --> 00:48:48,492 -Don't forget the pact. -[SIGHS] 1131 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:49,326 Good guys only. 1132 00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:51,361 -Good guys only. -Good guys only. 1133 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:53,063 -Maybe sometimes a jerk? -No. 1134 00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:54,898 -No. -No? Jerk sex? 1135 00:48:54,898 --> 00:48:57,034 -No jerk sex. -Aw. 1136 00:49:00,938 --> 00:49:04,441 -[PHONE RINGING] -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1137 00:49:07,177 --> 00:49:07,978 Oh, hey. 1138 00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,647 Um, thank you for sending me your script, 1139 00:49:10,647 --> 00:49:13,917 The Red Flow. I-- I thought it was hilarious. 1140 00:49:13,917 --> 00:49:15,953 -You read it? -I loved it. 1141 00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:16,954 Yeah, but will it ever be made? 1142 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:19,923 A movie about a girl getting her period. 1143 00:49:20,357 --> 00:49:21,191 Why not? 1144 00:49:21,191 --> 00:49:23,226 You know, I really want to write a script 1145 00:49:23,226 --> 00:49:24,394 about my new friends. They're, like, 1146 00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:27,164 these modern-day witches. They're really inspiring. 1147 00:49:27,164 --> 00:49:29,466 Yes, witches, girl power. 1148 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,301 Do it. 1149 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:33,103 Have you heard about this video game 1150 00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:35,205 that Peter is doing? It is so vile. 1151 00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,306 Yeah, I heard about it. 1152 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,808 I wish I could destroy the computers 1153 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,645 or make my own video game called Sluts Fight Back. 1154 00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:44,348 [CHUCKLES] I love that. "Sluts Fight Back." 1155 00:49:44,348 --> 00:49:45,983 If I was technological, I'd just put a virus 1156 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,852 in the whole system and I would shut it down. 1157 00:49:48,852 --> 00:49:50,320 Well... 1158 00:49:51,688 --> 00:49:54,091 well, it's funny that you say that, 1159 00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:56,593 'cause I happen to be technological. 1160 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:59,763 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1161 00:50:09,272 --> 00:50:10,607 What are you doing? 1162 00:50:10,607 --> 00:50:13,443 -[TYPING] -Technological stuff. 1163 00:50:13,443 --> 00:50:15,779 [SIGHS] We could be fired. 1164 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,115 Not if no one finds out. 1165 00:50:18,115 --> 00:50:21,084 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1166 00:50:26,690 --> 00:50:28,492 [LAUGHING] 1167 00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:31,028 God. [SIGHS] 1168 00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,162 -You're a genius. -Yeah, 1169 00:50:32,162 --> 00:50:33,630 you know what? I am a freaking genius. 1170 00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,732 -That was awesome. -[SIGHS] 1171 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,868 It was so awesome. 1172 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,936 What are you doing now? You wanna-- you wanna 1173 00:50:39,936 --> 00:50:43,073 -grab something to eat? -Oh, I have plans. 1174 00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:44,441 This may or may not change your mind, 1175 00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:47,911 but aside from being a genius and a technological wizard, 1176 00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,147 I am also, um... 1177 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:51,581 a really great rapper. 1178 00:50:51,581 --> 00:50:53,450 -Really? -Yeah, I'd love to show you 1179 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,885 some of my hip-hop stuff. 1180 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,753 -Okay. -You ready for this? 1181 00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:57,821 -Yeah. -You sure? 1182 00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,756 -Uh, I think so. -Mm-hmm. 1183 00:51:00,023 --> 00:51:01,425 Um... 1184 00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,660 ♪ You so ambitious ♪ 1185 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,329 ♪ Your soul is sweet And superstitious ♪ 1186 00:51:06,329 --> 00:51:09,399 ♪ Your eyes your lip Your heart ♪ 1187 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,071 ♪ They're breakin' records And the dishes ♪ 1188 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,339 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1189 00:51:16,339 --> 00:51:19,176 ♪ Mm-mm-mm Chicka-chicka ♪ 1190 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:20,877 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1191 00:51:20,877 --> 00:51:22,846 This goes on for, like, four minutes. 1192 00:51:22,846 --> 00:51:23,980 [CHUCKLES] Wow. 1193 00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:26,149 -Don't give up your day job. -[LAUGHING] Come on! 1194 00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,452 -No, it was great. I loved it. -I just wanted to do it. 1195 00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,686 -That was brave. -I had an instinct. 1196 00:51:29,686 --> 00:51:32,355 Yeah, anyway, you got the technology smarts. 1197 00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:33,557 -Thanks, yo. -Word to your mother. 1198 00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:35,759 Word to your mother. Tell your mother I said word. 1199 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:38,195 -[CHUCKLES] See you Monday. -Bye. 1200 00:51:38,195 --> 00:51:41,598 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1201 00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,471 HONEY: Thanks for giving me this dress. 1202 00:51:47,471 --> 00:51:48,338 CANDY: Ditto. 1203 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,073 Oh, God. Okay, okay, I don't know. 1204 00:51:50,073 --> 00:51:51,141 Maybe we shouldn't go. 1205 00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:52,776 -How do I look? -CANDY: You look hot! 1206 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,311 You look so hot I want to have sex with you. 1207 00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:57,514 EVA: Okay, no, I just-- Oh! Would you guys stop it? 1208 00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:58,748 -Stop it! -I really wanna 1209 00:51:58,748 --> 00:52:00,283 -have sex with you. -Oh, my God, 1210 00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:01,351 you guys are weird. 1211 00:52:01,351 --> 00:52:04,421 Okay, come on. I can't do this alone. Come on. 1212 00:52:04,421 --> 00:52:06,623 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 1213 00:52:06,623 --> 00:52:08,091 -WOMAN: Great show. -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1214 00:52:08,091 --> 00:52:10,227 HONEY: Does Darren have a daughter? 1215 00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:12,662 No, that's his new girlfriend. 1216 00:52:12,662 --> 00:52:14,865 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1217 00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:17,167 Oh. 1218 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:20,070 Oh! 1219 00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,572 Holy shit! 1220 00:52:22,572 --> 00:52:26,376 -HONEY: Is that you? -EVA: Holy shit! 1221 00:52:26,576 --> 00:52:28,145 Is that me? 1222 00:52:28,211 --> 00:52:29,379 Oh, my God. 1223 00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:34,217 Not entirely accurate, okay? It's not 1984 down there. 1224 00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:36,586 Oh, I prefer a full bush. 1225 00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:37,654 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 1226 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:40,624 -Hey. Hi. -Hi! 1227 00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:41,558 Oh. 1228 00:52:41,558 --> 00:52:44,027 -I'm so glad you made it. -Congratulations. 1229 00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:46,429 Thanks. Thanks. Everybody's here. 1230 00:52:46,429 --> 00:52:47,831 -Times is here. -Oh. 1231 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,399 L.A. Weekly. Yeah. 1232 00:52:49,399 --> 00:52:50,867 -Wow, well. -Yeah. 1233 00:52:50,867 --> 00:52:53,270 Your new art is really amazing, 1234 00:52:53,270 --> 00:52:55,939 -and interesting. -I know. I know. 1235 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,141 EVA: There's-- there's a lot happening... 1236 00:52:58,141 --> 00:53:00,343 -It's powerful stuff. -...with all of it. 1237 00:53:00,343 --> 00:53:02,946 I didn't get your smile exactly right, But, 1238 00:53:02,946 --> 00:53:05,348 -eh, it's still great. -[CHUCKLES] 1239 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:08,051 Hey. Let's have dinner on Saturday, huh? 1240 00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:09,186 -Really? -Yeah. 1241 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,253 -Okay. -Great. 1242 00:53:10,253 --> 00:53:11,621 -Great. -Cool. Text you. 1243 00:53:11,621 --> 00:53:12,756 -Okay. -Okay. 1244 00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:14,424 Yeah, I got to go talk to some people. 1245 00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:16,660 Oh, okay, sure. You're busy. 1246 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:19,062 Why is he wearing that weird hat? 1247 00:53:21,131 --> 00:53:22,299 I don't know. 1248 00:53:22,299 --> 00:53:26,670 [JAZZ PLAYING] 1249 00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,009 Somebody fucked with our system! 1250 00:53:33,009 --> 00:53:34,945 I can't get this image off the screen! 1251 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:36,479 I thought we were on a closed network! 1252 00:53:36,479 --> 00:53:38,582 Someone hacked into the program! 1253 00:53:38,582 --> 00:53:39,950 Someone with a password! 1254 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:43,353 Uh, Peter, not to point fingers or anything... 1255 00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:45,355 Yeah, okay, look, I'm way ahead of you. 1256 00:53:45,355 --> 00:53:46,890 You're not a fucking detective, all right? 1257 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,858 -Did you do this? -I can't even figure out 1258 00:53:48,858 --> 00:53:50,160 how to download the software updates 1259 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,461 -on my computer. -That's true. 1260 00:53:51,461 --> 00:53:53,697 She can't fucking download the software updates 1261 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:54,397 on her computer. 1262 00:53:54,397 --> 00:53:56,032 -What's your name? Darrell? -Demarcus. 1263 00:53:56,032 --> 00:53:58,868 -Demarcus, you're fired, dude. -Come on, man! 1264 00:53:58,868 --> 00:54:00,870 You're fired, and I'm gonna get a new nerd 1265 00:54:00,870 --> 00:54:02,973 to make this system that you can't fuck with it. 1266 00:54:02,973 --> 00:54:04,941 Hey, you're the guy who has "password" 1267 00:54:04,941 --> 00:54:05,909 as his password, man. 1268 00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,211 Well, why don't you fucking broadcast it on Twitter, man? 1269 00:54:08,211 --> 00:54:09,879 You're not supposed to tell people my password. 1270 00:54:09,879 --> 00:54:12,249 -I have to change it. -I can do the password. 1271 00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,317 You don't need to do it. I'll do it. 1272 00:54:14,317 --> 00:54:16,453 I'm gonna change it. Shit! 1273 00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:18,188 Oh, come on, man. 1274 00:54:18,188 --> 00:54:19,689 That sucks. 1275 00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,391 See you guys later. 1276 00:54:29,799 --> 00:54:31,401 Babe? 1277 00:54:32,035 --> 00:54:35,171 You-- you haven't returned any of my calls. 1278 00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:37,941 I've been thinking about what you said. 1279 00:54:39,175 --> 00:54:41,077 Can you please let me in? 1280 00:54:41,344 --> 00:54:44,648 -I really need to talk to you. -What do you want? 1281 00:54:44,648 --> 00:54:46,983 Can you-- can you please let me in? 1282 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,752 Tell me what you want. 1283 00:54:49,886 --> 00:54:51,321 Please? 1284 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:53,823 [SIGHS] 1285 00:54:53,823 --> 00:54:55,825 Look, I-- I don't know. I-- 1286 00:54:55,825 --> 00:54:58,061 This is really hard for me to say. 1287 00:54:58,161 --> 00:54:59,896 What? 1288 00:55:00,363 --> 00:55:03,833 I really liked how you bossed me around. 1289 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:07,304 You know, I didn't think I would, but... 1290 00:55:07,504 --> 00:55:08,972 it... 1291 00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:11,074 kind of turned me on. 1292 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:12,642 Are you serious? 1293 00:55:12,642 --> 00:55:14,611 Yeah, is that really weird? 1294 00:55:15,111 --> 00:55:16,746 Yeah, kinda. 1295 00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:20,717 Can you... boss me around some more? 1296 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,221 Really? 1297 00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:26,823 Yeah. 1298 00:55:30,593 --> 00:55:35,231 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1299 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,870 Give me ten minutes. 1300 00:55:54,884 --> 00:55:57,253 I want you to do my laundry! 1301 00:55:57,253 --> 00:55:58,688 Wow. 1302 00:55:59,055 --> 00:56:00,457 Now! 1303 00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:03,393 And clean my apartment! 1304 00:56:05,128 --> 00:56:07,197 And then I want you to lick it! 1305 00:56:07,897 --> 00:56:10,166 -All right. -Crawl! 1306 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,743 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1307 00:56:23,079 --> 00:56:24,180 MARK: Eva. 1308 00:56:24,180 --> 00:56:25,849 -Hey! -Hi. 1309 00:56:26,149 --> 00:56:28,618 -How are you? -I'm good. 1310 00:56:29,419 --> 00:56:31,087 Welcome to my restaurant. 1311 00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:32,522 This place is incredible. 1312 00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:35,625 -Thank you. It's true. -[CHUCKLES] 1313 00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:36,659 Um... 1314 00:56:36,659 --> 00:56:39,596 Rebecca got sick and couldn't find a sitter, 1315 00:56:39,596 --> 00:56:40,397 so... 1316 00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:43,500 I'd like to introduce you to my daughters. 1317 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,268 Mary, Melinda... 1318 00:56:45,268 --> 00:56:47,070 -this is Eva. -Hi. 1319 00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:51,241 -I like your outfit. -Thank you. I make dresses. 1320 00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:52,842 I like princess dresses. 1321 00:56:52,842 --> 00:56:54,377 I could make you a princess dress. 1322 00:56:54,377 --> 00:56:56,079 -Would you like that? -Yes! 1323 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,113 Can I have a dress? 1324 00:56:57,113 --> 00:56:59,482 -Absolutely, sweetie. -Yes. 1325 00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:03,386 What if you guys come back to my house after dinner? 1326 00:57:03,386 --> 00:57:05,855 I have lots of dresses. We could play dress-up. 1327 00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:08,425 'Cause I kind of want to hang out with these princesses. 1328 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,093 They're pretty cool. 1329 00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,295 Mm! 1330 00:57:12,295 --> 00:57:13,863 I'm having... 1331 00:57:13,863 --> 00:57:15,198 a food orgasm right now. 1332 00:57:15,198 --> 00:57:17,033 -Oh, yeah? Good. -Oh, yeah. I am. 1333 00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:18,735 -[MARK CHUCKLES] -What's an orgasm? 1334 00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:22,605 -Oh, oops. I'm sorry. -Um, uh, it's, uh... 1335 00:57:22,739 --> 00:57:23,940 It's happiness. 1336 00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:26,009 -Hey. Right? -Yeah! 1337 00:57:26,009 --> 00:57:27,110 -Yeah. -How about some music? 1338 00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,812 -Mm-hmm. -You guys look beautiful! 1339 00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:30,079 Let's do a fashion show. 1340 00:57:30,079 --> 00:57:32,449 Oh, now that sounds like fun, right, girls? 1341 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:33,483 -Yeah. -We're gonna have 1342 00:57:33,483 --> 00:57:35,618 a little catwalk. What do you say? 1343 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:38,021 -Yes! -[MUSIC PLAYING] 1344 00:57:38,755 --> 00:57:40,089 [MARK CHUCKLING] 1345 00:57:40,089 --> 00:57:41,791 Ready? Here we go. 1346 00:57:42,058 --> 00:57:44,794 ♪ Combination must be All right ♪ 1347 00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,529 [MARK LAUGHING] 1348 00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:48,164 [GIRLS GIGGLING] 1349 00:57:49,365 --> 00:57:52,602 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1350 00:57:52,769 --> 00:57:53,903 EVA: Go, big sister. 1351 00:57:53,903 --> 00:57:55,839 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1352 00:57:55,839 --> 00:57:58,741 Yay! Little miss. Go do your thing! 1353 00:57:58,741 --> 00:57:59,943 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. 1354 00:57:59,943 --> 00:58:01,911 -MELINDA: Daddy, you got to go! -Yes, Daddy! 1355 00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:04,447 Oh, I don't think I need to do that, no. 1356 00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:05,281 Oh, I think you need to. 1357 00:58:05,281 --> 00:58:09,018 What is that? It looks like a violent shoulder move. 1358 00:58:09,018 --> 00:58:10,487 [ALL LAUGHING] 1359 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,021 MARY: Yay! 1360 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:15,425 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1361 00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:17,727 Let's go. Let's do it again. 1362 00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:20,763 Meow. Freestyle. I'm a kitty cat. 1363 00:58:20,763 --> 00:58:22,465 Oh! Meow! Meow! 1364 00:58:22,465 --> 00:58:23,800 I'm a kitty. Work, work, work! 1365 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:28,004 -♪ I feel it ♪ -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ 1366 00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:31,941 -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ -♪ I feel it ♪ 1367 00:58:31,941 --> 00:58:36,479 ♪ Oh, I feel love ♪ 1368 00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:39,682 Call me... 1369 00:58:40,116 --> 00:58:41,684 [SIGHS] 1370 00:58:46,489 --> 00:58:48,658 [CHEERING] 1371 00:58:48,658 --> 00:58:51,160 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1372 00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:54,931 -Hello? -Hi. It's me. 1373 00:58:54,931 --> 00:58:56,165 Hi. 1374 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:57,200 Hey, what are you doing? 1375 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,836 I'm just, uh, having a few people over, yeah? 1376 00:58:59,836 --> 00:59:01,437 Uh, you want to come by? 1377 00:59:01,437 --> 00:59:03,139 Feel the music! 1378 00:59:03,239 --> 00:59:03,840 Yeah. 1379 00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,576 -FREEDOM: Yeah, all right. -Okay, see you soon. 1380 00:59:06,576 --> 00:59:08,778 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1381 00:59:08,778 --> 00:59:11,347 [SNIFFING] 1382 00:59:11,414 --> 00:59:12,749 [SIGHS] 1383 00:59:18,488 --> 00:59:20,223 FREEDOM: Hey! [CHUCKLES] 1384 00:59:21,324 --> 00:59:24,260 -MAN: One for everybody! -FREEDOM: Oh! 1385 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,397 You in for the next round? Yeah? 1386 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,766 You-- I know you want one. 1387 00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:31,234 [SIGHS] 1388 00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,805 -HONEY: Mm. -FREEDOM: Mm-hmm. 1389 00:59:35,805 --> 00:59:37,907 Oh, it's so good to see you. 1390 00:59:37,907 --> 00:59:39,776 I'm so glad you called. [CHUCKLES] 1391 00:59:39,776 --> 00:59:41,077 -You want a bump? -Oh, I'm sorry. 1392 00:59:41,077 --> 00:59:44,247 I don't do drugs. I'm a lightweight. [CHUCKLES] 1393 00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:45,515 [SNIFFING] 1394 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:48,051 -Do you want to dance, yeah? -HONEY: Sure. 1395 00:59:48,051 --> 00:59:49,752 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 1396 00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:53,756 Hey. I took too much of this tonight. You want some? 1397 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,793 -Yeah, thank you. Yeah. -Yeah. Hey! 1398 00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:57,627 Mm. Try that? 1399 00:59:57,627 --> 00:59:59,762 -No, thanks. [CHUCKLES] -No? 1400 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:02,799 Ugh! [CHUCKLES] 1401 01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:05,768 You know, I've been thinking about you a lot. 1402 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,370 -You have? -Yeah. 1403 01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:08,638 Why haven't you called? 1404 01:00:08,638 --> 01:00:11,074 Well, look in my eyes. Tell me what I'm thinking. 1405 01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,543 [CHUCKLES] Um, I don't know. 1406 01:00:13,543 --> 01:00:15,645 No, no! [CHUCKLES] 1407 01:00:16,879 --> 01:00:19,315 Talk to me. How do you feel? 1408 01:00:20,483 --> 01:00:23,086 -I like you. -You do? 1409 01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:24,621 Yeah. 1410 01:00:24,887 --> 01:00:26,556 I love you. 1411 01:00:26,656 --> 01:00:27,624 [GASPS] 1412 01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:29,158 I love you, yeah? 1413 01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,861 Don't you know that? Can't you tell? 1414 01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:34,297 Sometimes I can't talk unless I'm wasted. 1415 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,798 Yeah, I get scared. 1416 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:38,301 I'm gonna talk to you now, yeah? 1417 01:00:38,434 --> 01:00:39,969 I love you. 1418 01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:42,872 Oh, I love you. [CHUCKLES] 1419 01:00:42,872 --> 01:00:45,975 Do you see it in my eyes? Yeah, can you feel it? 1420 01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:49,245 I love you. 1421 01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:54,150 -[CHUCKLES] I love you. -I love you. Mm. Mm. 1422 01:00:56,219 --> 01:00:59,222 I love you! 1423 01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:01,224 -I love you! -I love-- 1424 01:01:01,224 --> 01:01:04,427 [HONEY MOANING] 1425 01:01:04,427 --> 01:01:07,263 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1426 01:01:08,798 --> 01:01:10,800 Oh, whoa. 1427 01:01:10,933 --> 01:01:13,503 My heart's beating really fast. 1428 01:01:14,303 --> 01:01:16,739 -Have you got a Valium? -No. 1429 01:01:16,739 --> 01:01:18,875 [PANTING] Xanax? 1430 01:01:19,876 --> 01:01:21,678 -NyQuil? -No. 1431 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:22,812 [PANTING] 1432 01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:25,815 No, it's all right. I'll just talk to my heart, yeah? 1433 01:01:25,815 --> 01:01:28,351 I'll make it come down, yeah. [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1434 01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:29,752 Do you want me to turn the music off? 1435 01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:31,854 No, no, no, it's fine. No, I can... 1436 01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:33,990 I can do it. Yeah, I can make it. 1437 01:01:33,990 --> 01:01:35,825 Make it calm down. 1438 01:01:36,893 --> 01:01:40,396 -Do you want to have sex? -Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe, babe. 1439 01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:42,365 Sorry. That hurts, yeah? 1440 01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:45,501 Oh. [PANTING] 1441 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,970 I've never felt that way before... 1442 01:01:47,970 --> 01:01:50,606 -[PANTING] -the way you made me feel. 1443 01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:52,008 Sex is beautiful. 1444 01:01:52,008 --> 01:01:54,243 I didn't have to feel bad about it. 1445 01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:55,712 Okay. 1446 01:01:55,912 --> 01:01:58,314 I felt really good about myself. 1447 01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,949 No, that's great, babe, but... 1448 01:01:59,949 --> 01:02:02,819 I don't think I can have sex right now. 1449 01:02:02,819 --> 01:02:04,821 Oh, God, I hope I don't have to go 1450 01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:06,823 to the emergency room again. 1451 01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:08,524 Oh, my God! 1452 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,793 CANDY: And then I made him lick it! 1453 01:02:10,793 --> 01:02:12,128 And he did the whole alphabet 1454 01:02:12,128 --> 01:02:14,197 for 45 minutes. I looked at the clock. 1455 01:02:14,197 --> 01:02:15,998 -What? -Oh, my God! 1456 01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:16,899 CANDY: I know! 1457 01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:19,135 And then I made him do my laundry. 1458 01:02:19,135 --> 01:02:20,770 Now I have the power. 1459 01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:23,673 Did you ask him if he's seeing the other girls? 1460 01:02:23,673 --> 01:02:27,176 Oh, God! No, I forgot! Ugh! 1461 01:02:27,176 --> 01:02:29,378 Well, maybe your power isn't very powerful, 1462 01:02:29,378 --> 01:02:30,213 because you got him off, 1463 01:02:30,213 --> 01:02:31,914 and you didn't get what you wanted. 1464 01:02:31,914 --> 01:02:33,716 CANDY: My power's very powerful. 1465 01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:35,818 Why don't you ask for what you want? 1466 01:02:35,818 --> 01:02:39,155 [SIGHS] I try to talk to him, but it's, like... 1467 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:43,659 Ah! Nothing comes out. 1468 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:44,827 What is wrong with me? 1469 01:02:44,827 --> 01:02:48,431 I mean, I can talk to you guys, but I cannot talk to him. 1470 01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,633 It's like when I'm around him, I just... 1471 01:02:50,633 --> 01:02:53,069 He makes me so nervous that I'm not myself. 1472 01:02:53,069 --> 01:02:54,637 I'm like a unicorn. 1473 01:02:54,637 --> 01:02:56,606 Everyone knows you can't see a unicorn 1474 01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:58,508 unless you believe in them. 1475 01:02:58,508 --> 01:03:01,410 [SOBBING] It's like he can't see how... 1476 01:03:01,410 --> 01:03:03,546 magic I really am. 1477 01:03:03,546 --> 01:03:04,947 Oh! 1478 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,484 Everyone can see it. It's super obvious. 1479 01:03:08,484 --> 01:03:10,286 Yeah. 1480 01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,591 What if I ask him for what I want... 1481 01:03:16,926 --> 01:03:18,761 and he leaves me? 1482 01:03:19,262 --> 01:03:20,263 You should try. 1483 01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:22,598 Sometimes I don't even know what I want. 1484 01:03:22,598 --> 01:03:25,635 I think you're being too hard on yourself. 1485 01:03:25,902 --> 01:03:28,404 Okay, what candle did you bring? 1486 01:03:29,739 --> 01:03:31,407 The white candle. 1487 01:03:32,608 --> 01:03:34,143 For healing. 1488 01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:36,646 We all say... 1489 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,681 "I wish to remove anything negative 1490 01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:40,116 from my life." 1491 01:03:40,116 --> 01:03:42,952 ALL: I wish to remove anything negative 1492 01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:44,554 from my life. 1493 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,656 And so mote it be. 1494 01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:54,630 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1495 01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:59,602 Oh, and I wish for a unicorn. 1496 01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:01,070 [CHUCKLES] 1497 01:04:01,070 --> 01:04:03,239 Are you dating other women? 1498 01:04:03,239 --> 01:04:05,675 Why are you talking in that weird voice? 1499 01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:06,676 I'm trying to sound powerful. 1500 01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,778 I thought that's what turned you on last time. 1501 01:04:08,778 --> 01:04:10,146 Yeah, it turned me on 1502 01:04:10,146 --> 01:04:11,380 that you asked for what you wanted. 1503 01:04:11,380 --> 01:04:12,982 I just never knew what you were thinking before 1504 01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:14,951 because you just always agreed with everything I said. 1505 01:04:14,951 --> 01:04:17,186 Well, I don't agree with a lot of things you say! 1506 01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:19,322 Maybe listen to me for once! 1507 01:04:19,322 --> 01:04:19,922 Okay. 1508 01:04:19,922 --> 01:04:22,792 Stop dating other women! Are you dating other women? 1509 01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:26,529 Well, there are two other women that I sometimes see. 1510 01:04:28,297 --> 01:04:30,233 Pick me and only me. 1511 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:33,736 I'll think about it. 1512 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,772 And then she uncovers her true erotic nature 1513 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:38,207 and defeats the killer inside herself, 1514 01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:41,477 which is really her own self-limiting beliefs. 1515 01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:43,479 Wow, that sounds like a real blockbuster. 1516 01:04:43,479 --> 01:04:44,480 Well, actually, I-- I do think 1517 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,948 it has potential to be a real blockbuster, 1518 01:04:45,948 --> 01:04:49,151 because what we've done here is we've-- we've satisfied 1519 01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:49,986 the demands of the genre 1520 01:04:49,986 --> 01:04:53,422 while also creating something truly original. 1521 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:54,924 Oh, sorry, man. I almost fell asleep 1522 01:04:54,924 --> 01:04:57,126 with what you're saying, 'cause it's boring as shit. 1523 01:04:57,126 --> 01:04:58,427 Hey, do you want to have sex in the bathroom, 1524 01:04:58,427 --> 01:05:01,163 or do you want to reject me like my own mother did, huh? 1525 01:05:01,163 --> 01:05:02,365 Why did you break up with me? Huh? 1526 01:05:02,365 --> 01:05:04,600 Why did you break up with me? All I wanted to do was love you, 1527 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,370 and mentor you, and help you achieve your true potential. 1528 01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,105 I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. 1529 01:05:09,105 --> 01:05:10,172 I hate that you're not into me. 1530 01:05:10,172 --> 01:05:11,440 It makes me so much more attracted to you. 1531 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,175 And I thought you were desperate and too old 1532 01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:14,777 to bear children without birth defects. 1533 01:05:14,777 --> 01:05:16,512 Oh, that's so out of line. 1534 01:05:16,512 --> 01:05:17,947 I'm so relieved that you find me attractive, 1535 01:05:17,947 --> 01:05:20,149 but when can Linda read the script that we wrote? 1536 01:05:20,149 --> 01:05:23,085 I don't want you speaking directly to Linda anymore, 1537 01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:25,655 okay? And here's another piece of advice for you, 1538 01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:27,523 uh, your boobs are too big, okay? 1539 01:05:27,523 --> 01:05:28,824 They're too big and they're flopping around, 1540 01:05:28,824 --> 01:05:30,259 and they make you look like a bimbo, all right? 1541 01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:33,329 You look like a dummy. That's why your directing career 1542 01:05:33,329 --> 01:05:34,497 hasn't gotten off the ground yet, 1543 01:05:34,497 --> 01:05:35,831 'cause you look like a big-boobied dummy. 1544 01:05:35,831 --> 01:05:38,401 Well, that's great advice. Should I cut my boobs off 1545 01:05:38,401 --> 01:05:39,568 -so I can seem smarter? -No, 1546 01:05:39,568 --> 01:05:42,038 you shouldn't cut your boobs off, okay? 1547 01:05:42,038 --> 01:05:42,972 But what you could do is, 1548 01:05:42,972 --> 01:05:44,540 you could mash them down a little bit. You could take-- 1549 01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:48,377 You know what you could do? You could Saran Wrap them, okay? 1550 01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:50,780 I do it to my dick when I'm on vacation in France. 1551 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,382 I got a big dick and it fucking goes right here 1552 01:05:53,382 --> 01:05:55,117 and I tape it here. 1553 01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:01,824 My bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 1554 01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:03,259 Should I be taking notes on some of this stuff 1555 01:06:03,259 --> 01:06:05,594 for the sexual-harassment lawsuit we're all going to? 1556 01:06:05,594 --> 01:06:09,765 Hey, don't make me load my emotional gun, okay, dude? 1557 01:06:09,765 --> 01:06:10,599 'Cause I'm one step away 1558 01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:13,302 from loading this emotional gun, dude. 1559 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,104 Cool. 1560 01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:18,941 That dress looks so great on you. 1561 01:06:18,941 --> 01:06:20,343 Why are you going out with Darren again? 1562 01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,144 HONEY: You should be going out with the licker. I mean, 1563 01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:24,213 there's no contest. You either get licked 1564 01:06:24,213 --> 01:06:25,181 or you don't. 1565 01:06:25,181 --> 01:06:27,516 [SIGHS] I was married to Darren 1566 01:06:27,516 --> 01:06:28,651 for 14 years. 1567 01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:30,052 I have to give him another chance. 1568 01:06:30,052 --> 01:06:33,356 Yeah, you don't want him to miss out on another chance 1569 01:06:33,356 --> 01:06:34,991 of not going down on you again. 1570 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,259 Okay, I just texted Mark and I made a date tonight, 1571 01:06:37,259 --> 01:06:39,028 -10:00 p.m., Butchers & Barbers. -Oh, no! No! 1572 01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:41,097 Then I said, "Would you lick me all over after?" 1573 01:06:41,097 --> 01:06:42,231 -No! -No, I didn't say that. 1574 01:06:42,231 --> 01:06:43,833 -Give it to me. -We must enact 1575 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:44,633 the good-guy pact. 1576 01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,736 -Give it to me. -[DOORBELL RINGING] 1577 01:06:46,736 --> 01:06:49,071 [SQUEALING] 1578 01:06:52,274 --> 01:06:53,976 [EXHALING] 1579 01:06:56,379 --> 01:06:57,980 [SIGHS] 1580 01:06:58,481 --> 01:06:59,749 Oh, hi, babe. 1581 01:06:59,749 --> 01:07:02,118 -Hey! -Hey. Good to see you. 1582 01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:03,552 -Yeah. -[GROANS] 1583 01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:06,255 -Glad you're feeling better. -Thanks. 1584 01:07:07,323 --> 01:07:10,159 -Hey, I'm Honey. -And I'm Candy. 1585 01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:11,594 Oh. 1586 01:07:11,594 --> 01:07:12,628 All kinds of lozenges. 1587 01:07:12,628 --> 01:07:14,497 Cool. I thought it was just gonna be us tonight. 1588 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,132 Yeah. Oh, of course. Of course. 1589 01:07:16,132 --> 01:07:18,534 Um, I can take it from here. 1590 01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:20,669 Don't fuck with her. 1591 01:07:20,669 --> 01:07:23,039 Okay. So it's time to go. 1592 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:26,575 Um, I'll talk to you guys later. Let's go. 1593 01:07:26,675 --> 01:07:29,211 Don't forget your date tonight at ten. 1594 01:07:31,647 --> 01:07:32,748 You have a date? 1595 01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:33,849 -Uh- -Tonight? 1596 01:07:33,849 --> 01:07:36,585 Yes. She has a date. 1597 01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,889 With who? [CHUCKLES] 1598 01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,557 Not helping. 1599 01:07:41,657 --> 01:07:43,225 Okay, come on. 1600 01:07:44,660 --> 01:07:46,128 So... 1601 01:07:46,662 --> 01:07:48,697 I don't care, but who are you dating? 1602 01:07:48,697 --> 01:07:50,633 -Uh, I'm not. I'm just-- -I don't care. 1603 01:07:50,633 --> 01:07:51,667 -I really don't care. -Okay, 1604 01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:54,103 well, I might see Mark later, because I-- I just, 1605 01:07:54,103 --> 01:07:55,738 you know, ran into him the other day. 1606 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,207 -You're dating my friend Mark? -No, I'm not dating him. 1607 01:07:58,207 --> 01:08:01,077 -I said I don't care. -We-- we hung out a little bit. 1608 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,112 -I don't care. -Okay. 1609 01:08:03,112 --> 01:08:04,713 I don't care. 1610 01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:08,818 -Did you fuck Mark? -What? 1611 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:11,287 No. I mean, come on. 1612 01:08:11,287 --> 01:08:13,689 -Yes, I did. Okay. -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1613 01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:15,324 Okay, I fucked Mark! It's none of your business! 1614 01:08:15,324 --> 01:08:16,525 You fucked my friend! How could-- 1615 01:08:16,525 --> 01:08:18,494 You fucked my friend! Of course that's my business! 1616 01:08:18,494 --> 01:08:19,795 Forget it. Forget I mentioned it. 1617 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:20,930 How could I forget that? We got-- 1618 01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:23,232 He's my friend. We go on vacations together. 1619 01:08:23,232 --> 01:08:24,266 We went biking in Tuscany! 1620 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:27,103 That was a horrible trip. Just forget it, okay? 1621 01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:28,404 I can't forget that you fucked my friend. 1622 01:08:28,404 --> 01:08:31,407 I don't care about Mark. I love you. I love you, honey. 1623 01:08:31,407 --> 01:08:32,842 I love you. 1624 01:08:32,842 --> 01:08:34,310 Okay? 1625 01:08:35,911 --> 01:08:37,746 -Where do you want to go? -[SIGHS] 1626 01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:39,882 I don't care. Where do you want to go? 1627 01:08:39,882 --> 01:08:40,850 We'll go to Butchers & Barbers. 1628 01:08:40,850 --> 01:08:42,918 -No, we are not! Stop it. -Get in. Get in. 1629 01:08:42,918 --> 01:08:44,053 -Don't be a child. -That's exactly 1630 01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,354 -where we're going. -Do not be a child. 1631 01:08:45,354 --> 01:08:46,589 -I'm not being a child -Yes, you are. 1632 01:08:46,589 --> 01:08:48,124 I'm being an extremely angry adult! 1633 01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:49,658 -All right. -That's a huge difference! 1634 01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:52,695 Get it out here, 'cause we're not going there! 1635 01:08:52,695 --> 01:08:54,964 -Are you gonna open my door? -Of course I am. 1636 01:08:54,964 --> 01:08:56,098 Thank you. 1637 01:08:56,098 --> 01:08:58,834 -DARREN: Oh, Mark? -EVA: Darren. 1638 01:08:58,834 --> 01:09:01,804 -DARREN: Mark! -Darren. Darren. 1639 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,040 I always knew you wanted to fuck my wife. 1640 01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:08,544 Whoa, uh, we're there. Uh... 1641 01:09:09,778 --> 01:09:10,913 You're right. 1642 01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:12,481 Oh, God. Um... 1643 01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:14,150 Just-- just deny it at least! 1644 01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:16,519 At least deny it for appearances! 1645 01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:18,487 For crying out loud! 1646 01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:20,956 Guess what. Is this expensive? 1647 01:09:20,956 --> 01:09:22,958 Mark! Oh, my God! 1648 01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,760 How do you like me now? Huh? 1649 01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:25,861 -Stop it! -Huh? 1650 01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:27,997 -Really? -Yeah! Yeah, really! 1651 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:29,398 -Shin kicks? -DARREN: Yeah. 1652 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:31,634 -Stop it! -You know I took kung fu? 1653 01:09:31,634 --> 01:09:32,468 -Okay. -Huh? 1654 01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:34,370 -He took, like, two karate-- -[DARREN SCREAMS] 1655 01:09:34,370 --> 01:09:36,038 Oh, my God. 1656 01:09:36,605 --> 01:09:39,208 Oh, my God, Darren! Stop it! 1657 01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:40,576 He drank a Red Bull in the car. 1658 01:09:40,576 --> 01:09:42,244 He's really sensitive to caffeine. 1659 01:09:42,244 --> 01:09:44,213 -DARREN: Time out, time out! -You're gonna hurt yourself. 1660 01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:47,116 -EVA: I'm gonna pull up the car. -Oh, wow. Big man, huh? 1661 01:09:47,116 --> 01:09:49,552 -Settle down. -Big man with the restaurant 1662 01:09:49,552 --> 01:09:50,553 and the washboard face. 1663 01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:52,688 Sensei Doug would be horrified. 1664 01:09:52,688 --> 01:09:54,190 Guess what. 1665 01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,057 Ask her who she wants. 1666 01:09:55,057 --> 01:09:56,926 -Oh, I'm not doing that. -No, ask her who she wants. 1667 01:09:56,926 --> 01:09:59,995 -Who do you want? -I am not gonna answer that. 1668 01:09:59,995 --> 01:10:02,498 DARREN: You have to 1669 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:04,200 choose. This... 1670 01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:06,068 or "Thor." 1671 01:10:07,970 --> 01:10:09,605 [DARREN SIGHS] 1672 01:10:10,973 --> 01:10:13,609 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1673 01:10:18,914 --> 01:10:20,816 -Hey. -Hey. [CHUCKLES] 1674 01:10:20,950 --> 01:10:24,253 You came. I'm glad you called me back. 1675 01:10:25,487 --> 01:10:26,855 I missed you. 1676 01:10:26,855 --> 01:10:29,959 -You look really beautiful. -Thank you. 1677 01:10:29,959 --> 01:10:33,362 Have you thought more about monogamy? 1678 01:10:33,429 --> 01:10:37,266 Ah, you really love that word. Can we talk about that later? 1679 01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:39,235 I mean, this is a really important party. 1680 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,571 -I want to talk about it now. -[SIGHS] 1681 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:44,173 That's... 1682 01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,407 Oh. 1683 01:10:45,407 --> 01:10:46,442 That's Steve Evans. 1684 01:10:46,442 --> 01:10:49,745 That's the guy that picks all the, uh, the TED speakers. 1685 01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:51,580 -[SIGHS] -I got to talk to him. 1686 01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,782 -Now? -Yeah, come on. 1687 01:10:59,955 --> 01:11:04,193 [CHUCKLES] Steve. Hey, how are you, man? 1688 01:11:04,193 --> 01:11:04,960 Daniel Peters, 1689 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,563 -from the-- from the emails. -From the emails. 1690 01:11:07,563 --> 01:11:08,464 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1691 01:11:08,464 --> 01:11:09,965 -[CHUCKLES] Isn't that great? -Yeah. 1692 01:11:09,965 --> 01:11:13,402 We got to get together, man. You know, we've been, uh... 1693 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:16,505 Oh, this is Candy. 1694 01:11:16,505 --> 01:11:17,406 Hi. 1695 01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,608 -Hey. -Is this your girlfriend? 1696 01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:20,843 -No! -Yeah. 1697 01:11:20,843 --> 01:11:21,644 I'm a free agent. 1698 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:23,812 I'm interested in making lots of sexual connections, 1699 01:11:23,812 --> 01:11:26,515 because I can't be tied down by monogamy. 1700 01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:28,751 -[DANIEL CHUCKLES] -Really? 1701 01:11:29,351 --> 01:11:30,953 Interesting. 1702 01:11:31,020 --> 01:11:32,288 What do you do, Candy? 1703 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:36,625 I study the significance of ritual, 1704 01:11:36,625 --> 01:11:38,193 and also I hate monogamy! 1705 01:11:38,193 --> 01:11:40,963 [CHUCKLES] Give me some casual sex, please! 1706 01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,564 [LAUGHING] Me, too! 1707 01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:43,966 [LAUGHING] Yeah, yeah, that's great. 1708 01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:46,835 -Yeah, that's fun. -STEVEN: Oh, Daniel, you have... 1709 01:11:46,902 --> 01:11:48,237 fascinating friends. 1710 01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:50,205 Well, she's-- It's more than a friend, 1711 01:11:50,205 --> 01:11:51,040 -so-- -Am I? 1712 01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:53,542 I would love to learn more, uh, about this. 1713 01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,477 Can I... Could I get your number? 1714 01:11:55,477 --> 01:11:57,579 -Sure, Steve. -Hang on a minute. 1715 01:11:57,579 --> 01:11:58,881 -Listen-- -It's good. I got my phone. 1716 01:11:58,881 --> 01:12:00,416 -I can connect you. -I got my phone. It's good. 1717 01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,918 DANIEL: I can probably connect you guys on an email. 1718 01:12:02,918 --> 01:12:04,119 Just type it in yourself? 1719 01:12:04,119 --> 01:12:05,954 And is it Candy with an I or a Y? 1720 01:12:05,954 --> 01:12:07,856 -With a Y. -Oh, why not? 1721 01:12:07,856 --> 01:12:11,393 Oh. Why-- why would it be with an I, you know? 1722 01:12:11,393 --> 01:12:12,628 PETER: You guys are all handsome guys. 1723 01:12:12,628 --> 01:12:14,063 You know what I'm talking about. It's the fast-paced 1724 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,764 Hollywood lifestyle. You know how many girls 1725 01:12:15,764 --> 01:12:17,766 I've had sex with? 21. 1726 01:12:17,766 --> 01:12:18,767 And I'm only 35. 1727 01:12:18,767 --> 01:12:19,702 And I've eaten 12 pussies, 1728 01:12:19,702 --> 01:12:22,504 most of them on the girls I've fucked. Hey! 1729 01:12:22,638 --> 01:12:23,739 HONEY: Hey. 1730 01:12:23,739 --> 01:12:24,973 -[CLEARS THROAT] -I got your text. 1731 01:12:24,973 --> 01:12:26,909 PETER: One second, guys. I'll be right back. 1732 01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:29,411 Follow me. I got to piss out of my cock. 1733 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:30,346 Did Linda read my script? 1734 01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:33,148 Uh, yeah, she agreed with a few things about it, 1735 01:12:33,148 --> 01:12:35,317 so, uh, I got rid of her. 1736 01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:37,019 You got rid of her? 1737 01:12:37,019 --> 01:12:38,354 Yeah. And, uh, it turns out 1738 01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:40,022 I got some new financiers for the movie, 1739 01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:42,624 so it doesn't matter what Linda thinks. 1740 01:12:43,092 --> 01:12:44,626 Oh, plus... 1741 01:12:44,626 --> 01:12:46,295 you're fired. 1742 01:12:47,496 --> 01:12:48,464 Well, great, 'cause I quit. 1743 01:12:48,464 --> 01:12:50,265 And I'm gonna write my own movie about a woman 1744 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,902 having a religious orgasm. And no one stabs her in the ass. 1745 01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:56,038 First of all, you can't quit after I fire you, so... 1746 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:58,374 A person can be smart and have big boobs. 1747 01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,042 And people are gonna watch my movie 1748 01:13:00,042 --> 01:13:02,211 and people are gonna love it! 1749 01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,447 No one respects you, big boobs. 1750 01:13:05,514 --> 01:13:06,949 Uh... 1751 01:13:07,950 --> 01:13:10,386 You know, I used to want to be you. 1752 01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:13,155 But all the success in the world doesn't make you happy, 1753 01:13:13,155 --> 01:13:14,556 does it? 1754 01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,994 I have friends and you don't have any friends, 1755 01:13:18,994 --> 01:13:20,596 and I'm happy. 1756 01:13:21,997 --> 01:13:24,466 Yeah, I guess, you know what, maybe I'm not so happy 1757 01:13:24,466 --> 01:13:26,034 in my life. 1758 01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,204 Maybe if we had sex in this bathroom, 1759 01:13:29,204 --> 01:13:30,172 I might be happy about that, 1760 01:13:30,172 --> 01:13:32,441 so why don't you get on your knees, baby? 1761 01:13:33,342 --> 01:13:34,877 Fuck you. 1762 01:13:38,614 --> 01:13:41,550 [DARREN GROANING] 1763 01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,355 Oh. Oh. 1764 01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:48,123 Oh, wow. 1765 01:13:49,892 --> 01:13:51,693 I'm sorry you didn't come. 1766 01:13:53,462 --> 01:13:55,464 You know what I love about you? 1767 01:13:55,931 --> 01:13:58,133 You're so comforting, you know? 1768 01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,102 Here's the thing... 1769 01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,104 Sex dies... 1770 01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:04,006 in every relationship. 1771 01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:06,842 So maybe we should be together. 1772 01:14:06,842 --> 01:14:08,277 -What? -I'm-- I'm just-- 1773 01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,813 I'm losing my passion for Chandra, you know? 1774 01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:11,980 -Oh. -You know, I just don't want 1775 01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,582 -anyone to get hurt. -Oh my God, 1776 01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:15,818 Chandra broke up with you. That's why you're here. 1777 01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:18,687 No, she's following One Direction for a while. 1778 01:14:18,687 --> 01:14:19,955 Oh, perfect! 1779 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:22,491 -That's so perfect! -I know. 1780 01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:24,326 I'm a cliché. But... 1781 01:14:24,326 --> 01:14:27,396 the handsome guy runs off with a younger, hot, 1782 01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:30,599 sexy, fit, tight little girl, 1783 01:14:30,599 --> 01:14:31,633 and then he gets bored, 1784 01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:33,802 and he wants to come running home to mommy. 1785 01:14:33,802 --> 01:14:36,839 -EVA [SIGHS] -[MIMICS BABY] 1786 01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:39,274 Mommy? 1787 01:14:39,274 --> 01:14:40,709 Uh, I'm not your mommy, okay? 1788 01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:43,412 Okay, you don't understand. Here's the thing. 1789 01:14:43,412 --> 01:14:45,180 I'm saving... 1790 01:14:45,247 --> 01:14:46,949 my sexual energy... 1791 01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:48,550 for my art. 1792 01:14:48,550 --> 01:14:49,918 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 1793 01:14:49,918 --> 01:14:52,120 I think maybe sex doesn't die for everyone. 1794 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,857 It just has died for you and your weird dick. 1795 01:14:54,857 --> 01:14:56,625 -And Mark couldn't wait... -Stop it. Stop it. 1796 01:14:56,625 --> 01:14:58,961 ...to go down on me. He fucking loved going down, 1797 01:14:58,961 --> 01:15:00,162 -and I loved it! -Oh, stop. Ew. Ew. Ew. 1798 01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,631 -Oh, no, see, that says it all. -First of all, ew. 1799 01:15:02,631 --> 01:15:04,466 -"Ew." -Ew. Ew. 1800 01:15:04,466 --> 01:15:05,634 You asked him to go down on you. 1801 01:15:05,634 --> 01:15:09,071 No, I didn't ask him! He asked me! He begged me! 1802 01:15:09,071 --> 01:15:09,972 -Oh, my God. -Mm-hmm. 1803 01:15:09,972 --> 01:15:11,707 -What an asshole. -That's what he said. 1804 01:15:11,707 --> 01:15:12,875 -Stop. That's not-- Stop it. -He did. 1805 01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:15,444 He said I had a beautiful butthole. Ha-ha! 1806 01:15:15,444 --> 01:15:16,211 [MOANING] 1807 01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:20,082 -You want a line? -No, thanks. I'm fine. 1808 01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:24,653 Oh! [SIGHS] 1809 01:15:28,657 --> 01:15:30,659 Are you a drug addict? 1810 01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:33,228 Why would you ask that? 1811 01:15:33,495 --> 01:15:35,030 No reason. 1812 01:15:36,565 --> 01:15:39,801 No. Look, that's just a piece of art, yeah? 1813 01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:42,938 It's a piece of art about a feeling, you know? 1814 01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:46,008 Just a feeling some people make me feel. 1815 01:15:46,441 --> 01:15:47,809 So there's a lot of other people 1816 01:15:47,809 --> 01:15:48,777 who think you're a drug addict? 1817 01:15:48,777 --> 01:15:52,214 No. No, I just like to party and have a good time is all, 1818 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:52,814 yeah? 1819 01:15:52,814 --> 01:15:54,416 Who else thinks you're a drug addict? 1820 01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:58,487 [GROANS] Look, just my stupid family. 1821 01:15:58,487 --> 01:15:59,187 Your family? 1822 01:15:59,187 --> 01:16:00,889 Yeah, look, just 'cause they give me money, 1823 01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:04,626 it makes them think they got the right to judge me, yeah? 1824 01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:07,129 But come on. Let's get some food. 1825 01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:10,198 Why does your family think you're a drug addict? 1826 01:16:10,799 --> 01:16:11,967 [SCOFFS] 1827 01:16:11,967 --> 01:16:13,502 I'm Freedom, yeah? 1828 01:16:13,502 --> 01:16:16,271 I'm free from family shackles. 1829 01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:18,974 Stop doing drugs. 1830 01:16:18,974 --> 01:16:20,642 I'll help you. 1831 01:16:24,379 --> 01:16:25,981 I love you. 1832 01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:31,053 Yeah, I-- I love you so much. 1833 01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,322 And I've been thinking, yeah? I-- 1834 01:16:33,322 --> 01:16:35,724 I've got to get out of this city for a while... 1835 01:16:35,724 --> 01:16:39,361 'cause sometimes a man, he needs to go on walkabout. 1836 01:16:39,361 --> 01:16:41,496 I've got these big mountains to climb, yeah? 1837 01:16:41,496 --> 01:16:45,033 A man, he needs to be able to climb his mountains, yeah? 1838 01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,101 Do you understand? 1839 01:16:46,101 --> 01:16:48,170 Not really. Are you talking about real mountains, or-- 1840 01:16:48,170 --> 01:16:51,473 I'm talking about the mountains that only a real man can climb, 1841 01:16:51,473 --> 01:16:53,909 yeah? 'Cause that's-- that's me. 1842 01:16:54,042 --> 01:16:55,577 I'm a man. 1843 01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:58,513 Can I come with you? 1844 01:16:58,513 --> 01:16:59,314 No. 1845 01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:02,484 No, I've got wars to fight. Do you see? 1846 01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,654 Hey, maybe we'll reunite, yeah? 1847 01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,289 In, like, five years. 1848 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,690 Five years? 1849 01:17:08,690 --> 01:17:10,192 Yeah. 1850 01:17:10,792 --> 01:17:12,628 Come on, look in my eyes. 1851 01:17:13,595 --> 01:17:15,364 What am I thinking? 1852 01:17:16,365 --> 01:17:17,366 I don't know. 1853 01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:20,268 Can two people ever really be together? 1854 01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:23,472 And once they're together, can they ever really be apart? 1855 01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,173 These feelings... 1856 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,976 they'll always exist inside us. 1857 01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,714 Maybe I'll come back for you one day. 1858 01:17:33,248 --> 01:17:34,950 But maybe not. 1859 01:17:35,584 --> 01:17:37,052 And remember... 1860 01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:39,621 I left you better than I found you. 1861 01:17:44,860 --> 01:17:47,095 CANDY: "I left you better than I found you"? 1862 01:17:47,095 --> 01:17:49,431 HONEY: And then he went off to climb mountains. 1863 01:17:49,431 --> 01:17:51,199 Probably mountains of cocaine. 1864 01:17:51,199 --> 01:17:53,969 How can I have the amazing sex again? 1865 01:17:53,969 --> 01:17:55,570 I think he was the one. 1866 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:58,440 EVA: No, he's not the one. You're the one. 1867 01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:01,410 You're the only one that matters. 1868 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,278 These candles are dangerous. 1869 01:18:03,278 --> 01:18:04,112 And they don't work! 1870 01:18:04,112 --> 01:18:06,682 Let's do a spell for the power to make our dreams come true. 1871 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,551 We don't have power. We have low self-esteem. 1872 01:18:09,551 --> 01:18:10,852 Okay, don't say that. 1873 01:18:10,852 --> 01:18:13,321 -[YELLING] Ah! The candles! -Stop it. 1874 01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:16,324 Only a stupid idiot would believe in a magic candle. 1875 01:18:16,324 --> 01:18:17,125 I believe in them. 1876 01:18:17,125 --> 01:18:18,493 That's 'cause you live in a fantasy world. 1877 01:18:18,493 --> 01:18:19,661 -What is going on? -HONEY: Look, 1878 01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,129 I paid a lot of money for your candles 1879 01:18:21,129 --> 01:18:23,565 and I'm gonna sue you for false advertising! 1880 01:18:23,565 --> 01:18:24,766 I bought them from a candle emporium. 1881 01:18:24,766 --> 01:18:26,835 -They're not magic. -I hate the candles! 1882 01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:28,003 -No! -Whoa, calm down! 1883 01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:29,538 You guys all have your periods, right? That's-- 1884 01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,506 The candles suck! All right, you know, 1885 01:18:31,506 --> 01:18:33,508 this is your friend. You are fired. 1886 01:18:33,508 --> 01:18:35,377 Oh! I quit! 1887 01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,945 She's not my friend! 1888 01:18:36,945 --> 01:18:38,246 'Cause I'm not friends with people 1889 01:18:38,246 --> 01:18:40,515 that think I'm stupid. [SOBBING] 1890 01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:43,919 And we're not on our periods! 1891 01:18:45,921 --> 01:18:49,224 I mean, to be fair, I am on my period. 1892 01:18:49,224 --> 01:18:51,727 It's towards the end of my cycle. 1893 01:18:52,461 --> 01:18:54,796 It's only a matter of time for the rest of them, right? 1894 01:18:54,796 --> 01:18:56,798 -Would you just stop? -Okay. 1895 01:18:56,798 --> 01:18:59,234 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1896 01:19:28,396 --> 01:19:30,932 -[SNIFFLING] -You okay? 1897 01:19:31,032 --> 01:19:33,668 -Not really. -You know what? 1898 01:19:34,236 --> 01:19:35,971 Screw this place. 1899 01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:40,475 Hey. 1900 01:19:40,909 --> 01:19:44,746 Working with you has been the best part of my job. 1901 01:19:46,748 --> 01:19:47,883 You know, I wanted to be the voice 1902 01:19:47,883 --> 01:19:51,620 of modern feminism, but I'm a loser. 1903 01:19:51,686 --> 01:19:52,254 And I... 1904 01:19:52,254 --> 01:19:53,855 don't think my friends will ever talk to me again, 1905 01:19:53,855 --> 01:19:54,890 'cause I took a big crap on them 1906 01:19:54,890 --> 01:19:57,292 and then I crapped in front of them. 1907 01:19:58,126 --> 01:19:59,294 I took an emotional shit. 1908 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:03,031 Everything's gonna be okay. I believe in you, yo. 1909 01:20:03,031 --> 01:20:05,667 And you do have a feminist voice. 1910 01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:07,169 You're the full package. 1911 01:20:07,169 --> 01:20:10,172 I think you're a package and a half. 1912 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,973 -I'm a package and a half? -Yeah. 1913 01:20:11,973 --> 01:20:14,810 I'd even go so far as saying you're two packages. 1914 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:17,312 That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me. 1915 01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:19,848 That's the nicest thing I've ever said. 1916 01:20:21,516 --> 01:20:22,951 Huh. 1917 01:20:30,458 --> 01:20:32,494 [DOOR KNOCKING] 1918 01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:36,331 [SCREAMS] 1919 01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:37,966 HONEY: Hello. I'm looking for the special unicorn lady 1920 01:20:37,966 --> 01:20:41,136 who lives in this apartment and is very magical. 1921 01:20:41,136 --> 01:20:43,305 Oh. Leave me alone. 1922 01:20:43,305 --> 01:20:45,707 I'm living in my fantasy world. 1923 01:20:46,241 --> 01:20:48,043 I'm sorry I was a jerk. 1924 01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:49,945 I really miss you. 1925 01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:53,982 Wow. 1926 01:20:54,249 --> 01:20:57,052 I can't believe you did this. Thanks. 1927 01:20:57,052 --> 01:20:58,420 Don't thank me. It's the candles. 1928 01:20:58,420 --> 01:21:00,255 -They really work. -Stop making fun of me. 1929 01:21:00,255 --> 01:21:04,726 I'm not. My life was depressing without your magic spells. 1930 01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:06,027 Thank you. It's true. 1931 01:21:06,027 --> 01:21:07,596 Listen, I have a great idea. 1932 01:21:07,596 --> 01:21:11,199 [EVA SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 1933 01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:16,905 All right, the factory in Jakarta's running behind. 1934 01:21:17,272 --> 01:21:18,373 [SIGHS] 1935 01:21:18,373 --> 01:21:19,541 Can we sell the magical candles 1936 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,076 in your store and use the profits 1937 01:21:21,076 --> 01:21:21,910 to pay Candy's rent? 1938 01:21:21,910 --> 01:21:25,780 I don't know. Maybe I have too much low self-esteem. 1939 01:21:26,014 --> 01:21:27,782 I'm sorry that I projectile-vomited 1940 01:21:27,782 --> 01:21:28,750 my low self-esteem onto you, 1941 01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:31,519 and I promise to swallow it back down next time. 1942 01:21:31,519 --> 01:21:32,654 Ew. 1943 01:21:32,654 --> 01:21:34,422 That is the grossest analogy. 1944 01:21:34,422 --> 01:21:39,427 -Yes, you can sell candles here. -Thank you. 1945 01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:42,197 You guys look really cute. 1946 01:21:42,197 --> 01:21:43,632 -We're witches. -Oh! 1947 01:21:43,632 --> 01:21:45,734 I thought you were, like, mean cowgirls. 1948 01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,269 Witches. It's better. It's better. 1949 01:21:47,269 --> 01:21:49,404 Come see. We'll set up over here. 1950 01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:52,173 CANDY: A lot of people are gonna tell you 1951 01:21:52,173 --> 01:21:53,375 you can't do things in your life, 1952 01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:55,277 and I'm here to tell you that you can. 1953 01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:56,811 Believe in yourself. 1954 01:21:56,811 --> 01:22:00,248 And remember how amazing you really are. 1955 01:22:03,518 --> 01:22:05,587 Oh! We sold so many. 1956 01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,555 Wow, witches are, like, the new vampires. 1957 01:22:07,555 --> 01:22:10,926 It's shocking how many people are buying these things. 1958 01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,828 The two children's dresses we made came in. 1959 01:22:13,828 --> 01:22:15,997 What do you want to do with them? 1960 01:22:15,997 --> 01:22:17,365 Oh. [SIGHS] 1961 01:22:17,365 --> 01:22:18,800 What's happening with Mark? 1962 01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:21,202 We broke up. I forgot the good-guy pact 1963 01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:24,873 and I chose Darren. And I really regret it. 1964 01:22:24,873 --> 01:22:26,041 You gotta give those little girls 1965 01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,475 -their dresses. -EVA: I'm pretty sure 1966 01:22:27,475 --> 01:22:30,245 he never wants to see me again. 1967 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:34,082 Fine. What do you think? Maybe not, right? 1968 01:22:34,082 --> 01:22:36,017 -[CHILDREN LAUGHING] -Oh, my God! 1969 01:22:36,017 --> 01:22:38,086 That look. Jeez. 1970 01:22:38,086 --> 01:22:39,955 All right. Okay. 1971 01:22:46,328 --> 01:22:48,964 He didn't come, so there you go. 1972 01:22:49,431 --> 01:22:50,298 Not home, right? 1973 01:22:50,298 --> 01:22:52,300 -[DOOR OPENING] -Oh, God. 1974 01:22:53,001 --> 01:22:55,603 Uh, hi. How are you? Um... 1975 01:22:56,538 --> 01:23:00,342 I know you probably don't want to see me. Um... 1976 01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:03,144 I made dresses for your daughters. 1977 01:23:04,546 --> 01:23:06,114 Nice. Thank you. 1978 01:23:07,415 --> 01:23:08,683 I'm sorry. 1979 01:23:08,683 --> 01:23:11,553 I'm so sorry I sabotaged our relationship. 1980 01:23:11,553 --> 01:23:14,356 And I'm sorry I treated you so badly 1981 01:23:14,356 --> 01:23:18,026 when you're just, like, the greatest guy. 1982 01:23:18,426 --> 01:23:20,662 Thanks for saying that, but, uh... 1983 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,732 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 1984 01:23:26,868 --> 01:23:27,469 Um... 1985 01:23:27,469 --> 01:23:30,138 for what it's worth, I broke up with Darren... 1986 01:23:30,205 --> 01:23:31,706 for good. 1987 01:23:32,407 --> 01:23:33,641 Just... 1988 01:23:33,641 --> 01:23:36,077 I don't think I liked myself enough 1989 01:23:36,077 --> 01:23:38,179 to choose a good guy. 1990 01:23:38,947 --> 01:23:41,049 I didn't think I deserved it. 1991 01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:41,950 MARY: Eva! 1992 01:23:41,950 --> 01:23:44,019 -Hey, sweetie! -Hey, Eva. 1993 01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:44,953 I made you dresses. 1994 01:23:44,953 --> 01:23:48,490 Yay! Come in! Evie, Evie, Evie! 1995 01:23:53,261 --> 01:23:54,896 [WHISPERING] Yes! 1996 01:23:55,830 --> 01:23:59,968 I like the dress. I'm having an orgasm. 1997 01:23:59,968 --> 01:24:03,705 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1998 01:24:06,674 --> 01:24:09,611 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1999 01:24:10,745 --> 01:24:14,249 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2000 01:24:14,516 --> 01:24:18,119 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2001 01:24:18,119 --> 01:24:21,923 ♪ I feel love ♪ 2002 01:24:22,991 --> 01:24:25,427 EVA: Who knew getting a divorce could be so great? 2003 01:24:25,427 --> 01:24:28,096 -CANDY: Yeah. -What's going on with Daniel? 2004 01:24:28,096 --> 01:24:31,499 Nothing! That's why we need a super-powerful spell. 2005 01:24:31,499 --> 01:24:34,302 I think we should call on all the elements to help us. 2006 01:24:34,302 --> 01:24:35,670 -Honey, are you in? -I'm so in. 2007 01:24:35,670 --> 01:24:37,372 In fact, I'm gonna call on the elements. 2008 01:24:37,372 --> 01:24:38,606 What are the elements? 2009 01:24:38,606 --> 01:24:40,208 -[LAUGHING] -Uh, Earth. 2010 01:24:40,208 --> 01:24:42,577 Okay, Earth. Earth. Okay. 2011 01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:43,945 I am going to-- I don't know, 2012 01:24:43,945 --> 01:24:47,582 I'm going to call on the Earth and-- Is that really dorky? 2013 01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:48,817 -No, no, no! -No, it's amazing! 2014 01:24:48,817 --> 01:24:51,553 -I'm gonna walk on it. Why not? -CANDY: Okay. 2015 01:24:51,553 --> 01:24:53,421 CANDY: What's up, earth? [LAUGHING] 2016 01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:54,622 HONEY: Okay, what's another element? 2017 01:24:54,622 --> 01:24:57,592 -Uh, wind. -Okay, what about... 2018 01:24:59,694 --> 01:25:02,363 -Would incense count? -Yeah! 2019 01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:04,999 -Sure. -All right. Um... 2020 01:25:04,999 --> 01:25:06,468 we call on the wind. 2021 01:25:06,468 --> 01:25:09,971 [WIND BLOWING] 2022 01:25:09,971 --> 01:25:12,474 -Am I imagining that? -No. 2023 01:25:12,474 --> 01:25:15,043 -Wow, so cool! -So cool! 2024 01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:19,214 Okay, what about water? Here. Drink your drinks. 2025 01:25:22,984 --> 01:25:24,752 I call on water! 2026 01:25:24,752 --> 01:25:27,922 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 2027 01:25:27,922 --> 01:25:29,924 [SQUEALING] 2028 01:25:29,924 --> 01:25:31,960 Guys, we made it rain. 2029 01:25:32,494 --> 01:25:34,496 CANDY: Candles are fire. 2030 01:25:34,929 --> 01:25:36,798 Purple for power. 2031 01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:38,800 The power to get what we want. 2032 01:25:40,068 --> 01:25:41,703 Say your wishes. 2033 01:25:41,769 --> 01:25:43,538 I wish to like myself. 2034 01:25:43,538 --> 01:25:46,174 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2035 01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:51,012 I wish to know that I deserve the good things in life. 2036 01:25:51,012 --> 01:25:53,114 ALL: So mote it be. 2037 01:25:55,850 --> 01:25:57,385 I wish for love... 2038 01:25:57,385 --> 01:25:58,887 -and money. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2039 01:25:58,887 --> 01:26:01,055 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2040 01:26:01,289 --> 01:26:05,360 We ask the elements to help us with our hearts' desires. 2041 01:26:06,060 --> 01:26:07,529 This... 2042 01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:09,564 or something better. 2043 01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:13,935 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2044 01:26:13,935 --> 01:26:15,703 [CANDY LAUGHING] 2045 01:26:15,703 --> 01:26:19,641 If you believe in magic, then there's magic! 2046 01:26:21,709 --> 01:26:23,044 [CHEERING] 2047 01:26:23,044 --> 01:26:26,414 [LAUGHING] 2048 01:26:27,215 --> 01:26:29,150 It's raining so hard! 2049 01:26:29,150 --> 01:26:31,686 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2050 01:26:31,953 --> 01:26:33,988 HONEY: "To truly experience ecstatic sex, 2051 01:26:33,988 --> 01:26:36,024 you must first fall in love with yourself. 2052 01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:40,028 Look at yourself in a mirror and say, 'I love you.' " 2053 01:26:42,030 --> 01:26:43,831 [SIGHS] 2054 01:26:45,967 --> 01:26:47,502 I love you. 2055 01:26:49,971 --> 01:26:51,573 I love you. 2056 01:26:53,241 --> 01:26:54,642 Well... 2057 01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,812 "Now look at your yoni in a mirror 2058 01:26:57,812 --> 01:27:00,682 and admire its tremendous beauty." 2059 01:27:06,754 --> 01:27:08,389 I love you. 2060 01:27:08,790 --> 01:27:12,760 "Discover what kind of pressure you like. Play music." 2061 01:27:20,535 --> 01:27:22,870 ♪ I pull up to the club ♪ 2062 01:27:22,870 --> 01:27:24,772 ♪ I got my swag on ♪ 2063 01:27:24,772 --> 01:27:26,641 ♪ The music's playing loud ♪ 2064 01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:28,776 ♪ Can't play their money y'all ♪ 2065 01:27:28,776 --> 01:27:31,079 ♪ I see 'em lookin' at me ♪ 2066 01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:33,047 ♪ She got a pretty smile ♪ 2067 01:27:33,047 --> 01:27:35,683 ♪ So I'm-a get a drink ♪ 2068 01:27:35,683 --> 01:27:38,920 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2069 01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:44,058 Mm. Okay. 2070 01:27:44,058 --> 01:27:48,062 [GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING] 2071 01:27:48,062 --> 01:27:49,897 ♪ Come on ♪ 2072 01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:55,703 Hell! Hell! Hell! 2073 01:27:55,703 --> 01:27:58,306 And hell! 2074 01:27:58,306 --> 01:27:58,973 Shut up. 2075 01:27:58,973 --> 01:28:00,174 ♪ Girl I want ya ♪ 2076 01:28:00,174 --> 01:28:02,577 ♪ There's no way... ♪ 2077 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:09,083 -Can you take your shirt off? -Don't. Please. Please don't. 2078 01:28:09,083 --> 01:28:10,985 Can I just leave it on? 2079 01:28:11,052 --> 01:28:12,854 Can I-- Okay. 2080 01:28:14,656 --> 01:28:16,157 Um... 2081 01:28:19,060 --> 01:28:19,727 I just... 2082 01:28:19,727 --> 01:28:22,797 I don't want you to be disappointed. 2083 01:28:24,399 --> 01:28:27,368 Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 2084 01:28:35,610 --> 01:28:38,579 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2085 01:28:48,523 --> 01:28:50,525 [SIGHS] 2086 01:28:51,859 --> 01:28:55,830 You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 2087 01:29:03,271 --> 01:29:05,306 [EVE LAUGHING] 2088 01:29:06,541 --> 01:29:09,010 -[SIGHS] -WOMAN: See ya, Jane. 2089 01:29:10,545 --> 01:29:11,312 -Hi. -Hi. 2090 01:29:11,312 --> 01:29:13,047 Can I talk to you for a second? 2091 01:29:13,047 --> 01:29:13,881 -Okay. -Um, 2092 01:29:13,881 --> 01:29:15,483 I'm the old assistant who likes sluts. 2093 01:29:15,483 --> 01:29:17,352 I know who you are. I liked your script. 2094 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:20,988 Thank you. So I'm not working for Peter anymore. 2095 01:29:20,988 --> 01:29:21,856 Good. He's a dick. 2096 01:29:21,856 --> 01:29:24,892 Yeah. And I wrote a new script and I wanted to pitch it to you 2097 01:29:24,892 --> 01:29:26,694 and I was hoping you would read it. 2098 01:29:26,694 --> 01:29:27,729 How did you find me? 2099 01:29:27,729 --> 01:29:30,431 Well, I, uh... I stole Peter's contacts. 2100 01:29:30,431 --> 01:29:33,434 -Oh, very sneaky. I like that. -I'm sneaky. 2101 01:29:33,434 --> 01:29:35,236 -Mm-hmm. -I want to be a filmmaker. 2102 01:29:35,236 --> 01:29:36,904 Really? Have you directed before? 2103 01:29:36,904 --> 01:29:39,440 -No, just a short. -Hmm. Well, okay. 2104 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,477 You can walk me to my car. I'll give you five minutes. 2105 01:29:42,477 --> 01:29:43,945 Okay! 2106 01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:50,551 Are you dating Steve? 2107 01:29:51,252 --> 01:29:53,221 What? No. 2108 01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,827 -Let's be monogamous. -Oh! 2109 01:29:59,827 --> 01:30:01,195 Let's be monogamous right now! 2110 01:30:01,195 --> 01:30:02,964 -Yeah! -Yeah! 2111 01:30:03,865 --> 01:30:05,900 -CANDY: Oh! -Ow. 2112 01:30:07,535 --> 01:30:08,102 Mm-hmm! 2113 01:30:08,102 --> 01:30:10,138 I am going to get the biggest Cosmo they got. 2114 01:30:10,138 --> 01:30:12,106 -Make it a double. -Oh, I just love your boots. 2115 01:30:12,106 --> 01:30:14,809 -They're gorgeous. -Right? I know. Right? 2116 01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:17,211 -Excuse me. -Yes? 2117 01:30:17,211 --> 01:30:20,548 Are you the priest from St. Francis of Assisi? 2118 01:30:20,615 --> 01:30:22,550 Yes, I used to be. 2119 01:30:22,550 --> 01:30:25,653 I used to go to your church when I was a kid. 2120 01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:27,555 Oh! 2121 01:30:27,555 --> 01:30:29,457 -Well. -Yeah. 2122 01:30:29,457 --> 01:30:30,925 Hmm. 2123 01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:33,728 Didn't you used to preach that no one should have sex 2124 01:30:33,728 --> 01:30:35,863 unless it was for the purpose of procreation? 2125 01:30:35,863 --> 01:30:37,632 Oh, I used to say a lot of stuff. 2126 01:30:37,632 --> 01:30:39,534 -FRANK: Mm-hmm. -Now I just do what feels good. 2127 01:30:39,534 --> 01:30:42,570 -And what feels good is Frank. -Mm-hmm! 2128 01:30:42,570 --> 01:30:44,839 Excuse me. But-- but what about people 2129 01:30:44,839 --> 01:30:45,840 who listened to what you said 2130 01:30:45,840 --> 01:30:48,075 and then they spent their lives feeling tormented? 2131 01:30:48,075 --> 01:30:49,777 And what about hell? 2132 01:30:50,745 --> 01:30:52,246 Sorry? 2133 01:30:56,617 --> 01:30:58,019 Don't torment yourself. 2134 01:30:58,019 --> 01:31:00,988 I think God wants us to be happy. 2135 01:31:04,325 --> 01:31:07,662 -So uncomfortable. -Right? I know. 2136 01:31:09,597 --> 01:31:12,567 I know you're gonna talk at TED one day. 2137 01:31:12,567 --> 01:31:14,435 You are so great. 2138 01:31:14,435 --> 01:31:15,770 I love you. 2139 01:31:15,770 --> 01:31:18,606 I love you. Thank you. 2140 01:31:20,908 --> 01:31:23,511 You know, Honey got me that unicorn. 2141 01:31:23,511 --> 01:31:25,279 It's so cute! 2142 01:31:25,580 --> 01:31:27,448 Unicorns are lame. 2143 01:31:30,618 --> 01:31:32,520 You don't like unicorns? 2144 01:31:33,488 --> 01:31:35,323 -Eh. -What? 2145 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,492 I-- I just... 2146 01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:39,694 I'm not crazy about 'em. 2147 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:42,697 How can you not like unicorns? 2148 01:31:43,130 --> 01:31:45,132 I-- I think they're creepy. 2149 01:31:45,132 --> 01:31:46,367 -Creepy? -Yes, 2150 01:31:46,367 --> 01:31:49,103 especially when they're looking over the bed. 2151 01:31:49,103 --> 01:31:51,205 Look, a human interacting with a computer 2152 01:31:51,205 --> 01:31:53,908 is interesting, you know? But when a human interacts 2153 01:31:53,908 --> 01:31:55,710 with a unicorn... 2154 01:31:56,544 --> 01:32:00,114 -not as much, okay? -Unicorns are interesting. 2155 01:32:00,114 --> 01:32:02,216 I just... I think you're a beautiful, 2156 01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:03,150 lovely, attractive woman. 2157 01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:06,053 I think you should just limit how much you talk about unicorns 2158 01:32:06,053 --> 01:32:07,221 in front of people, okay? 2159 01:32:07,221 --> 01:32:08,789 I just don't want you to be uncomfortable 2160 01:32:08,789 --> 01:32:10,057 when you meet the TED people. 2161 01:32:10,057 --> 01:32:12,994 So maybe not, you know, don't talk about them too much 2162 01:32:12,994 --> 01:32:14,729 in front of everyone. 2163 01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:20,768 Huh. 2164 01:32:21,702 --> 01:32:24,572 I want to be monogamous, but not with you. 2165 01:32:25,706 --> 01:32:28,609 -What? -I want to date other people. 2166 01:32:29,477 --> 01:32:31,045 Are-- are you kidding? 2167 01:32:31,812 --> 01:32:33,447 I'm a unicorn. 2168 01:32:33,915 --> 01:32:35,449 What? I... 2169 01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:36,651 What are you saying? 2170 01:32:36,651 --> 01:32:40,454 You don't like unicorns, and that's a deal breaker. 2171 01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:44,158 Let's be friends. 2172 01:32:55,970 --> 01:32:58,406 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2173 01:32:59,840 --> 01:33:02,209 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2174 01:33:05,546 --> 01:33:08,215 ♪ That feels ♪ 2175 01:33:09,350 --> 01:33:11,552 ♪ Inside ♪ 2176 01:33:11,819 --> 01:33:13,421 [SIGHS] 2177 01:33:13,688 --> 01:33:17,124 ♪ All I ever want ♪ 2178 01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,928 ♪ All I could ever need ♪ 2179 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:25,866 ♪ You and I ♪ 2180 01:33:28,302 --> 01:33:33,074 ♪ You and I ♪ 2181 01:33:33,641 --> 01:33:35,343 WOMAN: You are loved. 2182 01:33:35,343 --> 01:33:39,280 This feeling is always inside of you. 2183 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:42,717 ♪ And all I could ever see ♪ 2184 01:33:42,717 --> 01:33:45,920 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 2185 01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:50,458 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2186 01:34:04,271 --> 01:34:07,041 Hey. 2187 01:34:07,108 --> 01:34:07,975 What are you doing here? 2188 01:34:07,975 --> 01:34:11,045 Um, I wrote the script about the witches. 2189 01:34:11,045 --> 01:34:12,913 -Honey, that's incredible. -[HONEY GIGGLES] 2190 01:34:12,913 --> 01:34:15,916 -Wow, that's great. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2191 01:34:15,916 --> 01:34:18,319 How-- how did you know where I live? 2192 01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:20,855 I stole Peter's contacts, yo. [CHUCKLES] 2193 01:34:20,855 --> 01:34:23,124 You know, you're really nice to me. 2194 01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,626 And nice is sexy. 2195 01:34:25,893 --> 01:34:26,694 Nice is sexy, yo. 2196 01:34:26,694 --> 01:34:28,796 ♪ I learned this 'cause I've been nicer to myself ♪ 2197 01:34:28,796 --> 01:34:31,899 ♪ And now I see it See I'm like a little tree ♪ 2198 01:34:31,899 --> 01:34:33,200 ♪ I need to nurture myself ♪ 2199 01:34:33,200 --> 01:34:35,302 ♪ With some happy Little thoughts ♪ 2200 01:34:35,302 --> 01:34:37,004 ♪ And that's what I did yo ♪ 2201 01:34:37,004 --> 01:34:38,639 Da-da-dum, blossom. 2202 01:34:38,639 --> 01:34:39,573 [CHUCKLES] 2203 01:34:39,573 --> 01:34:41,575 Do you want to go on a date? 2204 01:34:42,276 --> 01:34:45,212 -More than ever. -[CHUCKLES] 2205 01:34:46,547 --> 01:34:48,049 [GASPS] Ta-dah! 2206 01:34:48,049 --> 01:34:50,484 -Aw! -We're so proud of you. 2207 01:34:50,484 --> 01:34:51,419 Yeah! 2208 01:34:51,419 --> 01:34:52,920 You're the orgasming champion! 2209 01:34:52,920 --> 01:34:55,156 -HONEY: Oh, thank you. -And the masturbating champion! 2210 01:34:55,156 --> 01:34:57,491 I'm not sure who I was competing against, 2211 01:34:57,491 --> 01:34:59,026 but I'm glad I won! 2212 01:34:59,026 --> 01:35:01,195 I want to light a candle for our friendship, 2213 01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:03,631 'cause I'm really grateful for you guys. 2214 01:35:03,631 --> 01:35:05,733 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2215 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:07,668 [LIGHTER FLICKER] 2216 01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,810 I heard this music and it made me think of you. 2217 01:35:17,278 --> 01:35:20,881 [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] 2218 01:35:23,284 --> 01:35:27,655 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2219 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:29,990 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2220 01:35:29,990 --> 01:35:34,195 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2221 01:35:34,195 --> 01:35:36,430 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2222 01:35:36,430 --> 01:35:40,868 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2223 01:35:40,868 --> 01:35:43,270 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2224 01:35:43,270 --> 01:35:47,475 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2225 01:35:47,475 --> 01:35:50,010 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2226 01:35:50,010 --> 01:35:53,114 ♪ A kiss good night A kiss by darkness ♪ 2227 01:35:53,114 --> 01:35:56,050 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2228 01:35:56,050 --> 01:35:59,386 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2229 01:35:59,386 --> 01:36:02,823 ♪ To stall this night To the end of days ♪ 2230 01:36:02,823 --> 01:36:06,994 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2231 01:36:06,994 --> 01:36:09,463 Cut! [CHEERING] 2232 01:36:09,730 --> 01:36:13,300 ♪ Don't you wanna know That magic is real ♪ 2233 01:36:13,300 --> 01:36:17,104 ♪ Don't you wanna have Something to feel ♪ 2234 01:36:17,104 --> 01:36:17,972 ♪ One life ♪ 2235 01:36:17,972 --> 01:36:22,176 ♪ And the world Will open doorways ♪ 2236 01:36:22,176 --> 01:36:24,612 ALL: I love my pussy! 2237 01:36:24,612 --> 01:36:28,983 -Yes to orgasms! -ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2238 01:36:29,183 --> 01:36:32,019 Yes 2239 01:36:32,019 --> 01:36:34,722 to orgasms! 2240 01:36:34,722 --> 01:36:38,025 ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2241 01:36:38,025 --> 01:36:41,729 Masters and Johnson taught us that an orgasm was just, 2242 01:36:41,729 --> 01:36:44,632 you know, like, up, down, like, quick. 2243 01:36:44,632 --> 01:36:47,568 It isn't. You can train yourself 2244 01:36:47,568 --> 01:36:49,103 to have an extended, 2245 01:36:49,103 --> 01:36:53,641 massive orgasm. Isn't that amazing? 2246 01:36:54,141 --> 01:36:55,576 Who here would like to learn 2247 01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:59,313 how to have an extended, massive orgasm? 2248 01:36:59,313 --> 01:37:01,315 [ALL CHEERING] 2249 01:37:01,315 --> 01:37:03,684 Who here would like to learn how to have 2250 01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:05,920 an earth-shattering orgasm? 2251 01:37:05,920 --> 01:37:09,256 [ALL CHEERING] 2252 01:37:09,256 --> 01:37:14,595 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2253 01:37:18,265 --> 01:37:19,967 I tell my pussy that I love her. 2254 01:37:19,967 --> 01:37:23,204 I love you, pussy. I love you. I love you so much. 2255 01:37:23,204 --> 01:37:27,775 You're a sweet, sweet, sweet little puss. 2256 01:37:29,543 --> 01:37:34,215 ♪ I will believe in you ♪ 2257 01:37:35,716 --> 01:37:40,988 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2258 01:37:41,989 --> 01:37:47,528 ♪ And I will believe That all of this is true ♪ 2259 01:37:48,796 --> 01:37:55,202 ♪ And I will believe in us Tonight ♪ 2260 01:37:55,202 --> 01:37:56,070 ♪ Tonight ♪ 2261 01:37:56,070 --> 01:37:59,707 ♪ Just for once don't you wanna Know magic is real ♪ 2262 01:37:59,707 --> 01:38:02,176 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2263 01:38:02,176 --> 01:38:06,413 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2264 01:38:06,413 --> 01:38:08,849 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2265 01:38:08,849 --> 01:38:13,120 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2266 01:38:13,120 --> 01:38:15,456 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2267 01:38:15,456 --> 01:38:19,560 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2268 01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:22,062 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2269 01:38:22,062 --> 01:38:25,532 ♪ A kiss goodnight A kiss by darkness ♪ 2270 01:38:25,532 --> 01:38:28,502 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2271 01:38:28,502 --> 01:38:31,939 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2272 01:38:31,939 --> 01:38:35,309 ♪ To stall this night Till the end of days ♪ 2273 01:38:35,309 --> 01:38:40,547 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2274 01:38:55,963 --> 01:38:57,164 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2275 01:38:57,164 --> 01:39:01,969 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2276 01:39:02,703 --> 01:39:03,737 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2277 01:39:03,737 --> 01:39:08,275 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2278 01:39:08,475 --> 01:39:12,746 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2279 01:39:12,746 --> 01:39:15,115 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2280 01:39:15,115 --> 01:39:19,286 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2281 01:39:19,286 --> 01:39:21,722 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2282 01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:25,826 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2283 01:39:25,826 --> 01:39:28,329 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2284 01:39:28,329 --> 01:39:32,399 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2285 01:39:32,399 --> 01:39:35,002 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2286 01:39:35,002 --> 01:39:39,006 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2287 01:39:39,006 --> 01:39:41,642 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2288 01:39:41,642 --> 01:39:45,846 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2289 01:39:45,846 --> 01:39:50,084 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2290 01:39:54,722 --> 01:39:58,926 -[ALL CHEERING] -Presenting 2291 01:39:58,926 --> 01:40:00,060 pussy! 2292 01:40:00,060 --> 01:40:02,062 [ALL CHEERING] 163896

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