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1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,379
Here's what you missed.
Quinn was dating Sam.
2
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,713
Then she kissed Finn.
Santana told Sam.
3
00:00:05,798 --> 00:00:07,924
- Now they've started dating.
- Biebalicious.
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,842
Will's not dating anyone
and says he's over Emma,
5
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,969
but it seems like he's
still got a thing for her
even though she's married.
6
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,304
Kurt's really into Blaine
and Blaine likes Kurt,
7
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,889
but he says he just
wants to stay friends.
8
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,599
And that's what you missed on Glee.
9
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,104
- Figgins.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,023
- You wanted to see me?
- William, we have
an epidemic on our hands.
11
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,609
- Head lice?
- Worse. Giggle juice.
12
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,194
I'm sorry. What?
13
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,114
Alcohol, William.
The wet devil.
14
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,032
Our children are so brazen...
15
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,576
they're showing up to school wasted.
16
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:38,705
And not wasted on learning, Will...
wasted on booze.
17
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,915
Why, just this week,
we've had five suspensions...
18
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,084
for intoxication on school grounds.
19
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,752
Figgins!
20
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,212
You rock!
21
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,797
Yeah, man!
22
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,591
Six suspensions.
23
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,885
I don't get it. Drinking's never
been a problem at this school.
24
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,889
That's because there are
new alcoholic beverages
targeted to kids, Will.
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,352
Just listen to the radio.
Pop music now glorifies
binge drinking.
26
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:05,732
Just listen to any hit
by pop sensation
"Ke-dollar-sign-ha."
27
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,650
Oh. You... You mean Ke$ ha?
28
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,610
We must do something
to protect our children, Will.
29
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,072
I-I totally agree.
How-How can I help?
30
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,158
I have decided to make this week...
31
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,535
Alcohol Awareness Week
at McKinley.
32
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:21,247
I have contacted Kitty Dukakis,
who will be the guest speaker
at an assembly...
33
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,708
where your Glee Club
will perform a song...
34
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,669
highlighting the dangers
of teenage drinking.
35
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,006
Can I count on you, William?
36
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,346
Emma?
Hi.
37
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,890
Enough with us
not being friends.
38
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,433
I heard through the grapevine...
39
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,268
that you and Carl started
looking for a tract house.
40
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,605
I just wanted to say that I'm
genuinely happy for you.
41
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,900
Thank you.
That's really sweet.
42
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,818
Two-slicer.
43
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,528
Do you want
to catch up?
44
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,655
Yeah. Sure.
45
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,950
How have you been?
46
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,119
Busy. Yeah.
47
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,621
Glee Club's gearing up
for regionals...
48
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,664
I, um, love hearing
about the Glee Club,
49
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,208
but I'm actually more
interested in you...
50
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,751
you know, how you're doing.
51
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,961
Me?
Are you dating anybody?
52
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,839
No.
No?
53
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,801
Maybe you should.
54
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,804
You know, Ella, I think Will
should really concentrate
on his treatment...
55
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,556
before he tries another relationship
with an early hominid,
56
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,641
even a human female.
57
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,227
- Treatment?
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Will.
58
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:28,981
I suggest
you preemptively check into rehab,
as you are a future alcoholic.
59
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,275
I mean, come on.
Look where you are.
60
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,654
You're coaching a glee club
that can only beat choirs
of old people.
61
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,365
You're rehashing the details
of your failed marriage...
62
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:42,203
with the very lemur
who rejected the bestial horror
of your craven sexual advances.
63
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,997
And when my glee club
crushes you at regionals,
64
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,209
well, the last ounce of meaning
will drain from your life,
65
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,086
and you will turn to drink.
66
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,380
I don't get it.
How is it you're now
coaching a glee club?
67
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,966
I was so inspired by my stint
in the Glee Club...
68
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,135
that I took the trip to Westvale
and I volunteered my help.
69
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,138
Unfortunately, the chipper homosexual
who coaches Aural Intensity...
70
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,391
had a terrible fall down the stairs.
71
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,981
I'm okay. Don't worry.
72
00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:17,321
Not to be alarmed.
Doctors say he will be fine...
73
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,282
provided they can get
the swelling in his brain under control.
74
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,409
Okay, sorry.
I still don't understand.
75
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,786
How can the school
let you coach Aural Intensity?
76
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,371
News flash, Imelda.
77
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,748
There's no one lining up
to coach glee clubs,
78
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,667
because it's
a sucky job for losers.
79
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,628
But there was an opening,
and I am a champion.
80
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,797
Oh, Will. Here's the book
by Bill W...
81
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,633
outlining the 12 steps
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
82
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,510
I can't wait for you to start
climbing those steps.
83
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,304
'Cause when you get to the top,
84
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,306
I'm gonna
knock you back down.
85
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,145
Whassup, my hot little
Jewish-American Princess?
86
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,897
What do you want, Puckerman?
87
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,774
Word on the street is
your dads are out of town
and you're alone in your house.
88
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,568
They are on
the Rosie O'Donnell cruise.
89
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,153
Who told you that?
90
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,447
This is the kind of information
a guy like me tends to know.
91
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,574
So, uh, party this Saturday?
92
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,367
I'll bring the beer ball.
That's a minikeg.
93
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,077
Forget it.
94
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,621
Oh, come on.
Just the Glee kids.
95
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,789
We're losing our minds,
all stressed about
sectionals and stuff.
96
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,791
Regionals.
97
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,419
Besides, you just want a place
to have sex and get drunk.
98
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,254
Yeah. There's a word
for that... a party.
99
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,089
- No. No.
-
100
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,425
My dads, they left me
alone in my house...
101
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,218
because they trusted me
to be responsible.
102
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,305
They left you alone 'cause
you suck and are a total bore.
103
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,933
- Hey.
- Yo.
104
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:30,519
- How's the songwriting going?
- Hey. It's going amazing.
105
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,481
I might have a really big hit,
which is why I wanted you to come by.
106
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,274
I wanted you to hear it.
107
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,901
Oh. Yeah. Cool.
108
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,986
Come here.
109
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,582
What was that for?
To break the tension.
110
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,085
We were boyfriend and girlfriend, Finn.
111
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,004
It's silly for us to pretend
like we aren't comfortable
around each other.
112
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,048
Yeah. Totally.
113
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,925
I know that we have
some unresolved feelings,
114
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:04,762
but, like my two new role models
Carole King and Gerry Goffin,
115
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,306
I think it's important
that we just put them aside...
116
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,100
and stay focused on our mission,
117
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:12,603
which is just to write an amazing song
to win regionals with.
118
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,939
Well, I have no idea
who those people are.
119
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,233
But I'm on board.
Let's hear it.
120
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,026
It's just- It's a little rough.
121
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:22,279
But, uh, I think
it's really special.
122
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,161
There you rest
123
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:32,164
With all the rest
124
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:38,921
Of my accessories
on my nightstand
125
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:42,466
You're red or yellow
126
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,886
And like a good fellow
127
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:52,268
Sometimes you get lost
in my mess
128
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,939
But when schoolgirl pigtails
won't do
129
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:05,239
And I need to control my do
130
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,743
You're the only one
I can count on
131
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,037
My headband
132
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,498
You're my headband
133
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,835
Wrapped right around
my melon
134
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,129
You're a product
like Magellan...
Uh.
135
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,673
Hold... Hold on.
Hold on.
136
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,133
Is this song
about your headband?
137
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,886
Yes. It's called
"My Headband."
Right.
138
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,929
They say you should write
about what you know.
139
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,725
Well, uh, it's really...
interesting,
140
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:37,938
but it's not emotional
or, like, good.
141
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,482
- It sucks.
- Yeah.
142
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,859
How am I supposed
to write a song like
Joni Mitchell or Carole King?
143
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:45,821
They've lived.
Well, maybe if you want
to be an artist like them,
144
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,324
you should... do a little living.
145
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,494
You're so right.
146
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:55,998
I mean, even now, it-it-
it's Alcohol Awareness Week...
147
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,375
and we're supposed to sing songs
about the dangers of drinking,
148
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,127
and I've never even had a drink.
149
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,712
Wait. Seriously?
150
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,214
That's why I never
got past second base.
151
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,174
Wait. Where are you going?
To find Puckerman.
152
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,803
You know, my journey
from little princess
to "natural woman"...
153
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,555
begins this Saturday night
at my house.
154
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,851
It sounds awful.
Is anybody going?
155
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,104
Let me find out.
156
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,688
Did you hear?
157
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,565
Yes. Mercedes just told me.
158
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,526
Tell them I'll go
if they go.
159
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,277
Tell them yourself.
I ain't no pony express.
160
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,655
You're going, right?
161
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,617
Only if there's liquor,
because a Rachel Berry party
is not something I can do sober.
162
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:32,952
But it's Alcohol
Awareness Week.
163
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,955
Precisely. And I am aware
of how much fun alcohol is.
164
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,998
- Let's ask Puckerman.
- You're go for Puck.
165
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,834
Noah, it's Santittany
and Artcedes.
166
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,961
Can your friend score us
some wine coolers?
167
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,629
No, but his I.D. Can.
168
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,422
Well, if we're all in,
it's settled.
169
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:50,094
The Rachel Berry house party
train wreck extravaganza is officially a go.
170
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,848
Welcome.
171
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,350
Kurt. Blaine.
172
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,811
I wasn't expecting
you guys.
173
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,356
Kurt's been
blackmailing me ever since
he saw my browser history.
174
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,024
He kind of insisted
on coming.
175
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,110
I'm totally off the clock
right now, Rachel.
176
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,903
I'm not a Warbler.
I'm just Blaine.
177
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,738
I'm not even
wearing my uniform.
178
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,782
So, this is your dads'
Oscar room.
179
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,243
Yes. They transformed
our ordinary basement...
180
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,621
- for our famous
annual Oscar parties.
- Is that a stage?
181
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,708
I kind of like to give
impromptu performances
for our neighbors sometimes.
182
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,210
Hey, girlfriend.
Having fun?
183
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,795
Yeah.
184
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,298
Awesome party.
185
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,429
Uh, okay. Let's, uh...
Let's go over the rules.
186
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,057
Everybody gets two drink tickets
to keep things from getting
out of hand.
187
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,393
We are serving
wine coolers today.
188
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,187
That is our specialty drink.
189
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,981
It's actually all we have.
190
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,278
Brittany! Remember the rules.
No sitting on anything.
191
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,113
Okay. Okay, everybody.
192
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,616
Cheers!
193
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,035
Great party, Rachel.
We gotta run.
194
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,329
Yeah, dinner reservations.
195
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,789
But-But we... We haven't even
played celebrity yet.
196
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,917
I...
197
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,127
Wh... Why is everybody leaving?
198
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,463
Because this party blows.
199
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,382
I haven't even had
my first sip yet.
200
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,928
How am I supposed
to write "Both Sides Now"
if I can't even throw a party?
201
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,222
Look, if you want
everyone to stay,
202
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,891
you have to let me break in
your dads' liquor cabinet.
203
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,976
No one's gonna get buzzed
off two wine coolers.
204
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,646
I'll replace it
before they get home.
205
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,485
Let's party!
206
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,404
Poppin' bottles in the ice
207
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,156
Like a blizzard
208
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,701
- Now I'm feelin' so fly
like a G6
209
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:41,413
- Let's go!
- Like a G6, like a G6
210
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:45,542
- Now I'm feeling so fly
like a G6
211
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,546
- Mike, get off!
212
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,799
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
213
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,968
Chug! Chug! Chug!
214
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,554
It tastes like pink.
215
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,682
It tastes like pink!
216
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,850
Pink!
217
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,531
Are you not drinking?
No. Designated driver.
218
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,993
What about you?
I'm still trying
to impress Blaine.
219
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,036
Can't get too sloppy.
220
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,956
Clearly, he doesn't
have the same concern.
221
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,332
Hey!
222
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,420
It is so cool that you
and Kurt are brothers.
223
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,214
Right? Like, brothers!
224
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,009
Wow! You're so tall.
225
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,470
You having fun, Blaine?
Yeah.
226
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,764
This is the best party ever!
227
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,851
Finny. Dance with me.
228
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,521
We had it going on, right?
229
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,524
I wasn't making it up
or anything?
230
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,944
I would do anything for you.
Anything!
231
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:57,239
Okay, Rachel. Since this
is your first time at this...
Sit down?
232
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,074
- I'm gonna break it down
for you.
- Okay.
233
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:03,829
Guys and girls fall
into certain archetypes
when they get drunk.
234
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:08,000
Exhibit "A": Santana...
the weepy, hysterical drunk.
235
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,835
You like her
more than me.
236
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,421
She's blonde
and awesome
and so smart.
237
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,673
Admit it.
Just admit it!
238
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,258
No! Kiss me!
239
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,553
Lauren Zizes and Quinn...
the "anger girl" drunks.
240
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,347
I can't believe
what you did to my body.
241
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,890
I used to have abs.
Back off.
242
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,225
Who told you that hairstyle
was cool... Geronimo?
Chill out.
243
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:29,813
Brittany... also known as
the "girl who turns into
a stripper" drunk.
244
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,024
Makin' it rain
Whoo!
245
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,026
That's my girlfriend.
I love you, baby.
246
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,779
Mercedes and Tina...
"happy girl" drunks.
247
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,574
Oh! Oh!
248
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:45,287
And then we come around full circle
right back to you, Rachel.
249
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,123
And right now you're being
the "needy girl" drunk.
250
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,876
Hanging all over me,
being overly lovey.
251
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,461
It's not cool.
252
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,634
Well, what kind of girl
is this?
253
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,056
Let's spin the bottle!
254
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,851
Who wants to play
spin the bottle?
255
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,228
Spin the bottle.
256
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,189
Feelin' so fly like a G6
257
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,318
-
258
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,534
Johnny, what's the deal, boy?
259
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,910
You know what?
A reminder...
260
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,578
I owns that guppy mouth.
261
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,664
Those trouty Aerosmith lips
belong to me, so...
262
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,966
You know what this is not?
Hey, honeys.
263
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,677
It's not a Big Red commercial.
No me gusta.
264
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,720
Whoo! Party!
265
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:47,015
It's my turn! It's my turn!
266
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,355
Oh!
267
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,566
This is outstanding!
268
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:59,695
Blaine Warbler,
I'm gonna rock your world.
269
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,073
Yeah! Deep! Deep!
270
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,117
More! More! More! More!
271
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,203
Johnny, are you queer, boy?
272
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,124
Johnny, are you queer, boy?
273
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,709
Okay, I think we've had
enough of that.
274
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,879
Okay!
Yeah!
275
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,134
Your face tastes awesome.
276
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,052
That was crazy.
277
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,555
I think I just found
a new duet partner!
278
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:38,400
You were working as a waitress
in a cocktail bar
279
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,987
- When I met you
You
280
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:46,283
I picked you out
I shook you up
and turned you around
281
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,204
Turned you into someone new
New
282
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:54,374
- Don't- Don't you want me?
- Don't
283
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:58,587
You know I can't believe it
when I hear that
you won't see me
284
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,049
- Don't- Don't you want me?
- Don't, don't
285
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:06,136
You know I don't believe it
when you say that
you don't need me
286
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:09,973
It's much too late to find
you think you've changed
your mind
287
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:14,228
You'd better change it back
or we will both be sorry
288
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,606
Don't you want me, baby?
289
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:22,152
Don't you want me?
Oh, oh
290
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:26,532
Don't you want me, baby?
291
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,701
Don't you want me?
Oh, oh
292
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:34,790
I was working as a waitress
in a cocktail bar
293
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,210
- That much is true
- True
294
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:42,381
But even then I knew I'd find
a much better place
295
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:46,176
- Either with or without you
- Without you
296
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,803
Don't
Don't
297
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,222
Don't you want me?
Don't you want me?
298
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:54,393
You know I can't believe it
when I hear that
you won't see me
299
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,854
It's much too late to find
you think you've changed
your mind
300
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:02,317
You'd better change it back
or we will both be sorry
301
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,112
Don't you want me, baby?
302
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,572
I want you. I do.
303
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:10,033
Don't you want me?
Oh, oh
304
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:14,746
Don't you want me, baby?
Oh, oh
305
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:18,333
Don't you want me?
Oh, oh
306
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,837
Don't you want me, baby?
307
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,968
Hey, Kurt, come give me
a hand with these eggs.
308
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,970
I'll be down in a minute.
309
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:32,097
What the hell
is a shirred egg?
310
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,474
Is that-
Is that the same thing
as a scrambled egg?
311
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,769
Hey, what's this?
312
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,230
Today was the day you
were gonna teach me
all about brunch.
313
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,190
I'll be down in a sec.
314
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,863
Oh, where am I?
315
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,991
Oh. Uh, I'm sorry.
My bad.
316
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,876
I need to close my locker,
and it's gonna sound
like a gunshot.
317
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:05,088
I have had the worst hangover
since Saturday, and it's Monday.
318
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,840
I've been dry-heaving
all weekend.
319
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,508
When my mother asked
what the sound was,
320
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,218
I said that I was
practicing birdcalls.
321
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,221
You guys,
I can't stop barfing.
Please don't say "barf."
322
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:17,142
I caught a whiff of hair spray
and went full Linda Blair
in the girls' bathroom.
323
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,727
I told my mom I had the flu,
324
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,396
and she made me
a traditional tea
made out of panda hair.
325
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,398
Can we talk about
anything else?
326
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,860
How about some
Bloody Marys, y'all?
327
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,196
Are you kidding me?
The last thing
I want to do is drink.
328
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,908
It'll help your hangover.
That's what Bloody Marys
are for.
329
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,995
Hair of the dog
that done bit yo' ass.
330
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:41,625
Blame it on the Goose
Got you feelin' loose
331
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,294
Blame it on the 'Tron
Got you in the zone
332
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,005
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
333
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,759
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
334
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,054
Eh, she say she usually don't
335
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,765
But I know that she front
336
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,350
'Cause shorty know
what she want
337
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,354
But she don't wanna
seem like she's easy
338
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,065
I ain't saying what you won't do
339
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,150
But you know
we probably gonna do
340
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,278
What you've been feelin'
deep inside
341
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,988
Don't lie now
342
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,532
Boy, what you drinkin'?
343
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,325
Gonna let it sink in
344
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,910
Here for the weekend thinkin'
345
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,622
We can see what we can be
if we press fast-forward
346
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,208
Just one more round
and you're down
I know it
347
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,128
Fill another cup up
Feelin' on your butt
what?
348
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,295
You don't even care now
349
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,589
I was unaware
how fine you was
350
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,633
Before my buzz set in
351
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,593
My buzz set in
352
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,179
- Blame it on the Goose
Got you feelin' loose
- Blame it on the Goose
353
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,432
Blame it on the 'Tron
Got you in the zone
354
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,435
- Alcohol
- Blame it on a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
355
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,604
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
356
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,732
Blame it on the vodka
Blame it on the Henny
357
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,526
Blame it on the blue top
Got you feelin' dizzy
358
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,487
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
359
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,615
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
360
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,326
Now to the ballas poppin' bottles
with their Henny in their cups
361
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,079
Screamin' money ain't a thing
if you ain't throw it up
362
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,457
- In the sky
- In the sky
363
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,460
- And hold your drinks up high
- Up high
364
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,129
And to my independent mamas
who can buy they own bottles
365
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,840
If you lookin' like a model
when them broke fellas holla
366
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,259
- Tell them bye
- Bye
367
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,095
- And hold your drinks up high
- Up high
368
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,681
Blame it on the Goose
Got you feelin' loose
369
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,184
Blame it on the 'Tron
Got you in the zone
370
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:27,856
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
371
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,984
Blame it on the vodka
Blame it on the Henny
372
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,612
Blame it on that blue top
Got you feeling dizzy
373
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,198
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
374
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,076
Blame it on the a-a-a...
a-a-a-alcohol
375
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,788
- Well done, you guys.
376
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,582
I mean, you always bring it
with the singing
and the dancing.
377
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,251
But what I was really
impressed with today
was your acting.
378
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,712
I truly thought that
some of you guys
were drunk.
379
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,339
We take our craft serious.
380
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,090
Problem is...
That-That song is great,
381
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,219
but it- it kind of
glorifies drinking,
don't you think?
382
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,847
I mean, we're supposed to sing
about the dangers of alcohol
for this assembly.
383
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,016
Well, good luck
finding a song
that does that.
384
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,102
Mr. Schue? First of all,
that vest is very cute.
385
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,271
You are all kinds of awesome.
386
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,525
But second, maybe
there's really no songs
about the dangers of drinking...
387
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,487
because there's really none,
as long as you have a proper
designated driver.
388
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,113
Have I ever told you
how great you are?
389
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,075
Well, Rachel, yeah,
driving drunk is dangerous.
390
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,160
And have you guys ever heard
of alcohol poisoning?
391
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,079
Yeah, it kills about
400 people every year.
392
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,458
Santana, are you...
Are you crying?
393
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,001
I'm okay. I'm okay.
394
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,213
You're such a hypocrite.
You drink. Most adults do.
395
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,633
I may have a beer every now
and then, but I don't...
I don't get drunk.
396
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,553
We're just saying
this is a waste of time.
We're totally aware of alcohol.
397
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,137
We see adults drinking it
and having fun.
398
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,139
Every commercial during NASCAR
is for beer.
399
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,767
Okay. Enough, guys.
400
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,769
Look, tomorrow, come
with your thinking caps on,
401
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,729
because we're gonna
spend the entire day...
402
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,899
- brainstorming ideas for songs
to sing at this assembly.
403
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,403
Am I out of touch?
404
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,697
I used to drink a lot more
when I was their age.
405
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,907
Most of the time, it was
just to deal with Terri, but...
406
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,659
I mean, who am I to tell
them not to drink...
407
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,703
when I blacked out
a couple of times
when I was their age?
408
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,914
And I ended up okay.
You're taking this
way too hard.
409
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,709
Something else going on?
Let's see. Um...
410
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,378
My divorce is starting
to really sink in.
411
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,423
Sue's coaching my competition
at regionals.
412
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,383
And Emma is looking for a house
with her husband.
413
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,468
Is that all?
414
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,138
What do you do
for stress relief?
Exercise.
415
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,308
Well, me, too, but
that's a little too close
to being productive.
416
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,436
You got to get
a little ridiculous, man,
burn off some of that angst.
417
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,646
You have any suggestions?
Tomorrow night...
418
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,399
you're tagging along with me
for my stress relief.
419
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,444
We're going to a little place
they call Rosalita's Roadhouse.
420
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:40,488
Isn't that
like a honky-tonk bar?
421
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,450
You ain't lived till you've
seen me in a cowboy hat.
422
00:20:56,380 --> 00:21:00,342
So far away
423
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:04,471
Doesn't anybody stay
in one place anymore?
424
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,932
I didn't drink that much.
Are you kidding?
425
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,808
You spent the entire night
sucking Rachel Berry's face.
426
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,102
That, sir, is what
we call rock bottom.
427
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,022
Oh, my God.
Speak of the devil.
Two medium drips.
428
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,108
Hi, Rachel. Kurt and I
were just talking about you.
429
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,904
You're such a cutie-pie with
your blazer and your pants.
430
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:25,784
So, I have a question for you.
431
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,120
- I wanted to know...
- Is she drunk?
432
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,373
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Um, yeah.
433
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,377
Uh-huh. All right,
I'll see you then.
434
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,754
Okay, bye.
435
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,758
Rachel just asked me out.
436
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,886
Oh, that's amazing.
She's got a girl crush on you.
437
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,307
Wait a second.
Why'd you say yes?
438
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:52,060
You can't lead her on.
Who says I'm leading her on?
439
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,397
You can't be serious.
440
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,316
When we kissed,
it- it felt good.
441
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,318
It felt good
because you were drunk.
442
00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,612
What's the harm in going out
on one crummy little date?
443
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,156
You're gay, Blaine.
I thought I was.
444
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:08,201
But I've never even
had a boyfriend before.
445
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,745
Isn't this the time
you're supposed to
figure stuff out?
446
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,123
I can't believe that
I'm hearing this right now.
Maybe I'm bi. I don't know.
447
00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,291
"Bisexual" is a term that
gay guys in high school use...
448
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:18,670
when they want
to hold hands with girls and feel
like a normal person for a change.
449
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,131
Whoa. Wait, wait.
Why are you so angry?
450
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,382
Because I look up to you.
451
00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,801
I admire how proud you are
of who you are.
452
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,555
I know what it's like to be
in the closet, and here you are
about to tiptoe back in.
453
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:32,267
I'm really sorry
if this hurts your feelings
or your pride or whatever.
454
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,603
But however confusing
it might be for you,
455
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,856
it's actually a lot more
confusing for me.
456
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:41,401
You're 100% sure
who you are.
Fantastic.
457
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,362
Well, maybe we all
can't be so lucky.
458
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,573
Yeah, I have... I've had
a lot of luck, Blaine.
459
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,909
I was really lucky to be chased
out of high school by a bully
who threatened to kill me.
460
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,954
And why did he do that?
Because he didn't like
who I was.
461
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,624
Sort of exactly what you're
saying to me right now.
Isn't it?
462
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,298
I am... I'm searching, okay?
463
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,509
I'm honestly just trying
to figure out who I am,
464
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,054
and for you, of all people,
to get down on me for that...
465
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:11,806
I didn't think
that's who you were.
466
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,559
I'll see you.
467
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,729
I'd say "bye," but I wouldn't
want to make you angry.
468
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,526
- Bring it in.
- Cheers!
469
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:26,154
- Come on, brother.
- Last night
470
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,491
-
- Yeah! Go, Will!
471
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,745
- Get up! Yeah!
472
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:35,705
A hundred bottles
of beer on the wall
473
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:38,500
I thought
I could drink 'em all
474
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,753
- Whoo!
475
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:43,838
Bring it in.
476
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,262
Whoo!
477
00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:53,264
Welcome, everybody,
to Rosalita's Roadhouse,
478
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:55,433
where the men are men
and the sheep are nervous.
479
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:58,520
A special warm welcome
to Will Schuester,
480
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,313
joining us here
for the first time tonight.
481
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,774
My friend
Shannon the Cannon here...
482
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,985
tells me Will wants
to hop up on stage
and sing us a song.
483
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,738
Come on up here, cowboy.
484
00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:12,367
Whoo!
485
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,332
I'll get you for this.
486
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:23,419
You know... You know, I...
I am not singing anything
without my gal here.
487
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,672
Come on, bring her a microphone.
Bring her a microphone.
488
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,139
I wanna tell you a story...
489
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,308
about the house-rent blues.
490
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,148
I come home one Friday,
491
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:46,234
had to tell the landlady
I done lost my job.
492
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:48,820
Mm-mmm.
493
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,698
She said,
"That don't comfort me.
494
00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,325
Long as I get my money
next Friday."
495
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:57,662
Now, next Friday come,
I didn't get the rent-
496
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,581
and out the door I went.
497
00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:06,337
One bourbon, one scotch,
one beer
498
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:11,009
Well, I ain't seen my baby
since I don't know when
499
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:15,263
I've been drinking
bourbon, whiskey
scotch and gin
500
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,308
Gonna get high, man,
I'm gonna get loose
501
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:22,145
Need me a triple shot
of that juice
502
00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:25,481
Gonna get drunk
Don't you have no fear
503
00:25:25,566 --> 00:25:28,776
I want one bourbon
one scotch and one beer
504
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:34,616
One bourbon, one scotch,
one beer
505
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,454
I ain't seen my baby
since the night before last
506
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:43,082
Gonna get a drink, man,
I'm gonna get gassed
507
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:47,086
Gotta get high, man,
I ain't had enough
508
00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:50,340
Need me a triple shot
of that stuff
509
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:53,635
Gonna get drunk
Won't you listen right here?
510
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:56,888
I want one bourbon, one shot
and one beer
511
00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:01,309
One bourbon, one scotch,
one beer
512
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,728
I want all that!
Come on now!
513
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:09,651
One bourbon, one scotch,
one beer
514
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,444
Whoo! Yeah!
515
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,738
Whoo! Drinks on me!
516
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:16,532
Thanks for helping
with the party cleanup,
517
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,826
especially considering
that you didn't even drink.
518
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:21,621
- I was in the neighborhood.
- At 10:00?
519
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:24,749
Are you sure you're not here
just to find out how my date
with Blaine went?
520
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,209
Oh, was that tonight?
521
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:31,005
Look, we're friends,
so I'm gonna be honest
with you.
522
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,175
The date was lovely.
523
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,636
We saw Love Story
at the revival theater.
524
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,554
We even dressed up
as the characters.
525
00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:41,307
That's not gay at all.
Did you kiss?
526
00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:45,228
No. Our lips spent the evening
mouthing Ali MacGraw's dialogue.
527
00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:48,106
Frankly,
I did expect a little snog
as the date drew to a close,
528
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,817
but I guess the timing
just wasn't right.
529
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,860
Or the blood-alcohol level.
530
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:55,280
Look, I know that you
have feelings for him,
531
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,991
and I'm sure
you think I'm crazy
for asking him out.
532
00:26:58,075 --> 00:27:00,159
But Blaine is obviously
conflicted,
533
00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,078
and if he turns out
not to be gay,
534
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,830
well, then I guess I will
have done you a favor.
535
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:07,500
And I'm doing you a favor
by telling you that Blaine...
536
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,629
is the first of a long line
of conflicted men
that you will date...
537
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,757
that will later
turn out to be only
the most flaming of homosexuals.
538
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,926
Blaine and I have
a lot in common.
539
00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:20,305
A sentiment expressed
by many a hag
about many a gay.
540
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,932
Look, I don't doubt
that you and Blaine...
541
00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:26,811
would have a jolly good time
shopping at Burberry...
542
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,731
and arguing who would make
the better Rum Tum Tugger.
543
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,941
I don't dispute that.
544
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:35,737
But there's something
you and Blaine will never have,
and that's chemistry.
545
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,158
Fine.
546
00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,744
Then I'm gonna
prove you wrong.
547
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:45,538
I'm gonna take
the beer goggles off,
and I'm gonna kiss him sober.
548
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,665
And if the spark
is still there,
549
00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,667
then I'm taking you
to your bakery of choice...
550
00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:52,587
for a piping-hot slice
of humble pie.
551
00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:03,389
Whoa! Easy, partner.
552
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,100
Can I get you
something to drink?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
553
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:08,603
Taxi's waiting.
All right.
554
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,563
How are you not drunk?
555
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,273
We drank exactly
the same amount.
556
00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,816
I got a hollow leg.
557
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:16,235
You got a hollow leg!
558
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:20,198
Hey, you gonna be okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
559
00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:23,159
I just- just got to
grade some papers, and...
560
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:26,037
I'm still looking for a song
for the kids to sing...
561
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,790
at the Alcohol Awareness assembly.
562
00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:32,919
Oh.
Yes. Uh, the kids want
to sing a Ke$ ha song,
563
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:37,048
but, uh, it just makes drinking
seem like a lot of fun.
564
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:38,758
Sometimes it is fun.
565
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,968
Exactly.
566
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,137
Like tonight.
567
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,972
That's the most fun I've had
in a really long time.
568
00:28:45,099 --> 00:28:47,016
I mean, we were careful.
Mm-hmm.
569
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:49,185
We didn't drive.
Mmm. Yeah.
570
00:28:49,311 --> 00:28:51,062
What's wrong with that?
Nothin'.
571
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,647
Nothin's wrong with that.
572
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,816
Except we're not
teenagers anymore, Will.
573
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,944
You know?
574
00:28:58,028 --> 00:29:01,030
The way I see it,
you can't just lecture kids.
575
00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:03,032
I mean, we can't stop them
from drinking...
576
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:05,410
if that's what they're gonna do.
577
00:29:05,494 --> 00:29:08,413
I mean, the best we can do
is make them aware
of the dangers...
578
00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:12,166
and just hope they're
smart enough to make
a good decision on their own.
579
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:16,754
I don't know.
580
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:18,339
You nut.
581
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,925
All right, buddy.
I'm out of here.
Don't get up.
582
00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:23,302
I'm not.
I'm gonna stay right...
583
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:24,595
Hey.
Yes?
584
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,722
You just make sure
you drink lots of water.
585
00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:28,433
Okay?
Mwah!
586
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,435
I love you.
587
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:31,894
Right back at you.
588
00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:35,523
Yay. Happy face. Okay.
589
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,694
That was a valiant effort.
590
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:42,363
You get A-plus.
That's how I roll.
591
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,491
I don't even know
who you are.
592
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:51,914
Oh, what the hell.
593
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:59,005
Hey there, sexy lady.
594
00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:04,469
I know it's late,
and I know you're taken.
595
00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:06,554
I've had a couple drinks, but...
596
00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:12,935
there's something I r-really,
really want to say to you.
597
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,191
William!
598
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:21,152
Can't wait to see
what your New Directions
are planning for the assembly.
599
00:30:21,236 --> 00:30:24,655
I know we've had issues
with your kids performing
in front of the school,
600
00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:27,033
but I have a really good feeling
about this one.
601
00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:28,493
Why are you screaming?
602
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,328
I'm not screaming.
Are you okay?
603
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,663
Oh, wow, your cologne
is just really strong.
604
00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,582
It's Drakkar Noir!
605
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,917
- Hey.
- Emma.
606
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:39,212
Oh, Will,
you look terrible.
607
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:42,423
Considering how much I drank,
I think I'm lucky to be alive.
608
00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,383
Although I kind of
wish I was dead.
609
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:47,720
I am so embarrassed.
Why?
610
00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:51,349
I mean, besides the fact
that you drank like a frat boy
and you're well into your 30s.
611
00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:53,976
Please don't
make me say it.
Sorry?
612
00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:55,478
I don't even remember
half the things
I said to you.
613
00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:57,188
I... I'm not following.
614
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,898
I-I drunk-dialed you
last night.
615
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,483
No, you didn't.
616
00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,360
I mean, I didn't get
a single message.
617
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:05,071
What would you have said that
you'd be embarrassed about?
618
00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:07,949
Nothing.
619
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:11,911
I-I-I... Just must have
been a really elaborate,
uh, booze dream, yeah.
620
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,788
It's time, Will.
621
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:17,124
I've arranged to have you
committed for 48 hours,
and it's not gonna be easy.
622
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:19,752
Those state institutions
tend to turn the fire hose...
623
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:21,879
on patients going through
the D.T.'s.
624
00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:24,799
But at this point,
I have no other option
but a forced intervention.
625
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,718
Sue, I do not have
a drinking problem.
626
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,720
Really? Then what's with
the Corey Hart imitation?
627
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:32,848
Will, I'm trying to save you.
628
00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:35,476
Why? All you ever want
to do is destroy me.
629
00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:38,354
Yeah, well, it's kind of
like nursing a P.O.W.
Back to health...
630
00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,648
so he's at his strongest
when you torture him to death.
631
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:42,191
All right, Will.
632
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:45,194
You had your chance
to do this the easy way.
633
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:47,530
Soufflé is all
about the whites.
634
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,824
If you get yolk in it
or you don't let it
stiffen properly,
635
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,951
then you might as well
be making pancakes.
636
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:55,079
All right. You think the one
we already made is ready yet?
637
00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:58,583
- I hope so.
- All right, let's check it out.
638
00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:01,168
Here we go. Ta-da.
639
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,796
You didn't leave enough room
in the dish to let it rise.
640
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,840
Hey, I'm sorry.
Why are you being
so hard on me?
641
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,593
I would've been happy with you
teaching me to make toast.
642
00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,177
Okay. I'm sorry, Dad.
643
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:13,097
I know this is supposed
to be bonding time,
but it's Blaine.
644
00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:16,100
He's interested in Rachel.
645
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:19,312
I'm confused.
I thought he was gay too.
646
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:23,858
Oh, he is, he is.
He's just...
experimenting.
647
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,527
Yeah. He's not the only one.
648
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,987
What does that mean?
649
00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:31,657
Look, I need you to ask me
before you have someone
sleep over.
650
00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:34,452
We-We were fully clothed
the entire time.
651
00:32:34,536 --> 00:32:36,579
Blaine was too drunk to drive,
so I let him crash here.
652
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:39,123
- I was being responsible.
- You kids are drinking now?
653
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:42,710
Finn and I didn't have any,
if that's what you're
worried about.
654
00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:47,214
No. I'm worried about you being
inappropriate in my house.
655
00:32:47,299 --> 00:32:51,844
And if Puckerman had
a sleepover with Finn,
would that be inappropriate?
656
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,929
- That's different.
- Because they wouldn't have sex?
657
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:59,977
No, I would never
allow Finn to have a girl
sleep over in his bed.
658
00:33:00,062 --> 00:33:01,979
But would it make you
uncomfortable if he did?
659
00:33:02,064 --> 00:33:04,482
Hey, when have I
been uncomfortable
with you being gay?
660
00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:07,610
So it's not being gay
that upsets you.
It's just me acting on it.
661
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,363
I don't know what two guys
do when they're together.
662
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:13,491
You know, I sat through
thatwhole Brokeback Mountain.
663
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,993
From what I gather,
something went down in the tent.
664
00:33:16,078 --> 00:33:18,079
What do you want
from me here, Dad?
665
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,040
I want you to apologize
for being inappropriate...
666
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:23,668
and promise me
you'll never do it again.
667
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,714
Fine. I'm sorry.
668
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:33,344
I won't have sleepovers with
anyone that might be gay
without asking you first.
669
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:35,554
Thank you.
670
00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:45,564
But maybe you could step
outside your comfort zone
and educate yourself,
671
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:50,027
so if I have any questions,
I could go to my dad
like any straight son could.
672
00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:58,828
Quiet, please.
Quiet, please, children.
673
00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:01,330
I would like to wish
you and yours...
674
00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:04,542
a healthy and happy
Alcohol Awareness Week.
675
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,253
Unfortunately, Kitty Dukakis
could not be here,
676
00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:08,838
because of disinterest.
677
00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:11,799
But Lima Police Chief
Lawrence Krowley...
678
00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:15,845
is here to show you a grisly
slide show of auto accidents.
679
00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:18,055
- Take it away, Chief.
680
00:34:18,140 --> 00:34:20,224
- You guys, I'm really nervous.
- Thank you, Principal Figgins.
681
00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:24,520
Ke$ ha's been a cultural icon
for weeks, and I really want
to do her music justice.
682
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,647
- We haven't had
enough rehearsal.
- Or any at all.
683
00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:29,108
And most of our
assembly performances
usually end in some kind of riot.
684
00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:31,193
Never fear, teammates.
It's a Broadway tradition...
685
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:33,571
for nervous performers
to take a shot of whiskey
before going on...
686
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:36,490
to calm their nerves
and to mask the stench
of bad dental hygiene.
687
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,826
In that tradition,
I have mixed us
a playful showbiz cocktail...
688
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,495
of what was left
in my dads' liquor cabinet.
689
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:43,873
There's some brandy
and vermouth and port wine
and scotch in here.
690
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:46,000
Also a little bit of Kool-Aid
and some crumbled-up Oreos.
691
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,210
Oh, my God.
This tastes
like cough syrup.
692
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,754
- There's also cough syrup.
- Cheers.
693
00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:52,173
- To Ke$ ha.
- Cheers.
- To Ke$ ha.
694
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,008
Thank you, Chief.
695
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,427
And now, performing
the hit single,
696
00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:58,387
"Tik" and also "Tok"...
697
00:34:58,472 --> 00:35:01,766
by rapper
Ke-dollar-sign-ha...
698
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,976
the New Directions.
699
00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:10,524
Wake up in the mornin'
feelin' like P. Diddy
700
00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,276
What up, girl?
Grab my glasses
I'm out the door
701
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,362
- I'm gonna hit this city
- Let's go.
702
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,657
Before I leave
brush my teeth
with a bottle of Jack
703
00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:20,493
'Cause when I leave
for the night
704
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,453
I ain't comin' back
705
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,247
I'm talkin' pedicure
on our toes, toes
706
00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:27,249
Tryin' on
all our clothes, clothes
707
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:29,335
Boys blowin' up
our phones, phones
708
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:33,589
Drop-toppin'
playin' our favorite CDs
709
00:35:33,673 --> 00:35:35,341
Goin' up to the parties
710
00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:38,761
Trying to get a little bit-
tipsy
711
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:40,763
- Don't stop, make it pop
712
00:35:40,847 --> 00:35:43,891
Deejay, blow my speakers up
tonight
713
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,727
I'm-a fight till
we see the sunlight
714
00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:48,813
Ticktock on the clock
715
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,148
But the party
don't stop, no
716
00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:55,277
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
717
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:56,987
Don't stop, make it pop
718
00:35:57,072 --> 00:36:00,282
Deejay, blow my speakers up
tonight
719
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:02,701
I'm-a fight till
we see the sunlight
720
00:36:02,786 --> 00:36:04,912
Ticktock on the clock
721
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,915
But the party
don't stop, no
722
00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:10,251
I don't feel good.
Power through it!
723
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:11,919
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
724
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,921
You build me up
725
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,006
You break me down
726
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:17,675
My heart, it pounds
727
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,510
Yeah, you've got me
728
00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:23,889
With my hands up
you've got me now
729
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,725
You've got that sound
Yeah, you've got me
730
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:27,977
Oh, oh
731
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,854
You build me up
732
00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:31,647
You break me down
733
00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:33,649
My heart, it pounds
734
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,192
Yeah, you've got me
735
00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:36,193
Oh, Oh
736
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,862
With my hands up
737
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:42,867
Put your hands up
738
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:46,954
Now, the party don't start
till I walk in
739
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,956
Don't stop, make it pop
740
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,001
Deejay, blow my speakers up
tonight
741
00:36:52,085 --> 00:36:54,753
I'm-a fight till
we see the sunlight
742
00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,964
Ticktock on the clock
743
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,716
But the party
don't stop, no
744
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,552
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
745
00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:06,265
Oh, my God.
746
00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,151
Everybody, drink responsibly.
747
00:37:22,657 --> 00:37:23,949
Heads up, McKinley.
748
00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:27,286
Coach Sylvester's
gonna shout at ya.
749
00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,624
Students, colleagues,
750
00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:35,461
indeed, all who understand
the Queen's English.
751
00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,254
We all still quake in terror...
752
00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:40,382
at what we witnessed
yesterday at the assembly...
753
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:44,386
by a Glee Club
spiraling out of control.
754
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:48,933
My nose is still filled
with the acrid stench
of teen vomit.
755
00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:52,019
And there is simply
but one person to blame...
756
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:56,774
the alcoholic teen-vomit
fetishist Will Schuester,
757
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,817
the director of that club.
758
00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:03,614
Two days ago,
I received a drunk-dial
in the middle of the night...
759
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,616
from a horny Will Schuester.
Oh, no.
760
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:07,785
Open your ears,
McKinley High,
761
00:38:07,869 --> 00:38:11,622
and behold the awful price
of alcoholism.
762
00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:17,544
Hey there, sexy lady.
763
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:20,714
There's something I really,
really want to say to you.
764
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,717
I love how you eat your lunch
with your little plastic gloves,
765
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:27,638
and they crinkle
and make the cutest sound
I've ever heard in my life.
766
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:33,102
Why don't you pick up
some wine coolers
and come over here?
767
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,688
And it'll be just one night
of us just getting crazy.
768
00:38:35,772 --> 00:38:37,982
Let's just get crazy!
769
00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:40,943
Just get really crazy
and roll around in the hay.
770
00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:44,530
I was just in some hay
earlier tonight.
771
00:38:44,614 --> 00:38:47,199
Hey, and I rode a bull,
and I was thinking of you.
772
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,956
Will Schuester,
773
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,166
you've just been
publicly humiliated.
774
00:38:56,251 --> 00:39:01,296
And on the road to recovery,
it's the very first step.
775
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,016
- We're probably
gonna get suspended.
776
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:13,600
I think you'll definitely
get suspended.
777
00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:16,103
- You'll probably
all get suspended.
- Oh, you're one to talk.
778
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:19,565
How about you crack a Four Loko,
Count Boozy von Drunk-a-ton?
779
00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:24,945
William, Glee Club.
780
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,281
I have one word for you.
781
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,867
Congratulations.
782
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:33,704
Those special effects
at the assembly
really paid off!
783
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:39,251
I had no idea what brilliant
musical-comedy performers
you all have become.
784
00:39:39,335 --> 00:39:41,503
The kids at this school
are scared straight.
785
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,380
Today is the first day
in a month...
786
00:39:43,465 --> 00:39:47,801
without a single act
of public drunkenness
at McKinley High!
787
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,763
And as a thank you,
788
00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:53,599
here are coupons
for half-off frozen yogurt.
789
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,267
Yum.
790
00:39:56,686 --> 00:39:59,313
William, I do think
you need to see someone...
791
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,732
about your sex
and love addiction.
792
00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:04,359
I've talked to my pastor
about you,
793
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:08,072
and he's willing to meet you
at your earliest convenience.
794
00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:09,406
Thank you.
795
00:40:09,491 --> 00:40:11,200
Okay. Achievement!
796
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,285
Achievement!
797
00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,662
- I'm torn.
798
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:17,664
Part of me
never wants to drink again
because it made me so sick.
799
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:20,542
But if it weren't for drinking,
the assembly would have
been a disaster.
800
00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,586
I, for one,
am never drinking again.
801
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:24,713
Being thrown up on...
it just does something
to a person.
802
00:40:24,798 --> 00:40:26,340
All right, guys.
803
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:29,635
While I'm happy things
worked out with the assembly,
804
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,179
I never want to see you guys
pull anything like that again.
805
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:34,723
Drinking while performing
is unprofessional.
806
00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:37,768
Drinking while at school
is just stupid and,
most importantly,
807
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:39,645
any of you guys
drinking at all is illegal.
808
00:40:39,729 --> 00:40:42,064
There's a fair amount
of the pot calling
the kettle black right now.
809
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:43,941
That is so racist.
810
00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:47,277
I couldn't agree more,
which is why I'm gonna
stop drinking.
811
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:50,072
Not even a beer
at the end of the night
to take the edge off.
812
00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:52,282
But if you don't drink,
what will you have to live for?
813
00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:55,035
I have plenty
in my life without beer.
814
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,371
Like what exactly?
815
00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:00,374
The point is I'm gonna stop.
And I hope you guys do too.
816
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:04,670
- Isn't that kind of unrealistic?
- Yeah. Honestly, I think it is.
817
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:07,172
Which is why I'm only gonna
ask you to do it
until after nationals.
818
00:41:07,257 --> 00:41:09,967
Consider yourselves
like prize fighters...
819
00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:12,970
getting ready for a big
heavyweight bout.
820
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:17,808
Now, these are pledge forms,
and I want you guys
to sign them.
821
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,185
And what if we fall
off the wagon again?
822
00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:24,356
Look in the top corner of your form.
That's my cell phone number.
823
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,191
- Yes!
824
00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:28,443
Part of your pledge
is that if you do slip up,
825
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:31,280
no matter where you are
or what time of the night it is,
826
00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:34,283
I want you to call me
to drive you home.
827
00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,827
We got lucky this time
that the only consequences
of your drinking...
828
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,996
was some ill-timed vomiting.
829
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,540
None of us wants to see
any of you guys get hurt.
830
00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,375
Cool beans, Mr. Schue.
I'll sign this.
831
00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:47,254
Me too. Alcohol has done
nothing for my songwriting.
832
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,423
What about
after we win nationals?
833
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,848
I'm buying
the sparkling cider.
834
00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,224
- Yes!
835
00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:01,059
You said he
comes this way at 3:30.
836
00:42:01,144 --> 00:42:03,353
Like clockwork... for his
postrehearsal medium drip.
837
00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,938
I just can't wait
to lay one on him.
838
00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,149
I've got a bad feeling
about this, Rachel.
839
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,360
I don't mean to be a scold,
but I don't want you
to get hurt either.
840
00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:13,155
There's no victory in this
for me either way.
Who cares about you, buddy?
841
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,616
I may get a new boyfriend
out of this who can
keep up with me vocally...
842
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,743
and, in the future, give me
vaguely Eurasian-looking children.
843
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:20,787
There he is,
dreamy as ever.
844
00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:23,957
Okay. Wish me luck.
845
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,710
I feel the earth move
under my feet
846
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:29,338
- Hey, Rachel. What's going on?
- I feel the sky tumblin' down
847
00:42:29,422 --> 00:42:31,089
A-tumblin' down
848
00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,760
I feel the earth move
under my feet
849
00:42:34,844 --> 00:42:37,346
I feel the sky tumblin' down
850
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:38,847
A-tumblin' down
851
00:42:38,932 --> 00:42:41,558
I just lose control
852
00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:44,811
Huh. Yup.
853
00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:47,272
I'm gay.
854
00:42:47,357 --> 00:42:48,690
100% gay.
855
00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:51,485
Thank you so much
for clearing that up
for me, Rachel.
856
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,862
Save my space in line, will you?
I gotta go hit the restroom.
857
00:42:53,947 --> 00:42:55,405
All over
858
00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:58,617
I feel the earth move
under my feet
859
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,244
I feel the sky come...
860
00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:03,997
That was hard, wasn't it?
Are you kidding?
861
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,668
That was amazing.
I am speechless.
862
00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:11,213
I just had
a relationship with a guy
who turned out to be gay.
863
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:14,091
That is songwriting gold. Oh!
864
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:18,553
Okay. I have to go compose,
but thank you. Thank you!
865
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,974
Tumblin' down
866
00:43:58,886 --> 00:43:59,886
English - US - PSDH
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