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1
00:02:16,601 --> 00:02:19,334
Good afternoon,
my darling sons of bitches!
2
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,701
Let me introduce myself.
3
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,667
My name is Brandon
4
00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:25,401
and I'll be trying to
entertain you
5
00:02:25,435 --> 00:02:27,734
over the next hour.
6
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:30,067
You've probably
never heard of me
7
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,567
that wouldn't be a surprise
because I'm nobody.
8
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,734
They say time flies
when you're having fun
9
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,033
so this would
seem like forever
10
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,300
because my jokes suck.
11
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:43,234
But please stay until the end
12
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:45,234
we have so much to talk about
13
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,701
and I have a surprise for you.
14
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:52,033
Let me tell you a story
about how I came to be here.
15
00:02:53,401 --> 00:02:56,100
Once upon a time I was married
to a beautiful woman
16
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,100
named Phillipa.
17
00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,634
She was everything you
could hope for in a woman
18
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,468
she was adorable
19
00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:04,335
everybody loved her.
20
00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:06,501
All our friends
however wondered
21
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,701
what is she doing
with an jerk like me?
22
00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:12,267
And they were right.
23
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:16,534
I was a shy, boring guy
obsessed with my work
24
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:20,067
stuck in my ways, who never
had anything interesting to say.
25
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,435
Are there any
accountants out there?
26
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:28,435
We really are the most boring
mother fuckers you know.
27
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,501
Did you hear the story about the
woman that went to the doctor
28
00:03:32,534 --> 00:03:33,501
for a check-up?
29
00:03:35,234 --> 00:03:38,167
The doctor told her she only had
six months left to live.
30
00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:41,100
She's crying, she's desperate,
31
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:44,734
she said: Doctor there must be
something I could do.
32
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,368
"Sure," said the doctor,
"You could marry an accountant."
33
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,335
"What?
34
00:03:49,368 --> 00:03:51,067
Would it make me live longer?"
35
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,534
"No," said the doctor
36
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,268
"But he will make your last
six months here
37
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,033
seem like an eternity."
38
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:04,167
So one day Phillipa woke
up and thought to herself,
39
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,468
They're right.
40
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:08,067
I am beautiful and adorable
41
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,667
and I do shine like a
star on a cloudless night.
42
00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:13,200
What am I doing with this jerk?
43
00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:17,167
So she dropped me
like a hot tamale
44
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,401
and this tamale fell far.
45
00:04:19,435 --> 00:04:22,335
I'd never been with another
woman besides Phillipa
46
00:04:22,368 --> 00:04:24,067
and when she left me,
47
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,167
I was alone, and hopeless.
48
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,301
And then one day
49
00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:34,033
I found a flyer on the
ground that said, "Stand up!"
50
00:04:35,335 --> 00:04:37,335
And here I stand.
51
00:04:37,368 --> 00:04:39,734
Don't I kill as a comedian?
52
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:42,167
Are you having a good time?
53
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,468
Let me tell you a story
about George C. Parker.
54
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:48,534
Have you heard of him?
55
00:04:49,834 --> 00:04:52,335
He was a legendary
con man in New York City.
56
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,567
Who could sell
anything to anyone.
57
00:04:55,601 --> 00:04:57,701
The turn of the 20th century
58
00:04:57,734 --> 00:05:00,567
he became infamous for selling
rich tourists
59
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,435
the Brooklyn bridge.
60
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,601
They say he even sold one
Russian billionaire
61
00:05:05,634 --> 00:05:07,067
the Statue of Liberty.
62
00:05:08,468 --> 00:05:12,701
Well right now I feel like
George C. fucking Parker,
63
00:05:13,767 --> 00:05:16,235
so listen very carefully
64
00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:21,067
because I have tremendous,
fabulous,
65
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:25,067
wonderful stories to sell you.
66
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,168
How was that?
67
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:36,301
Is that like too
much gurgling or?
68
00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:39,101
Uh no, no, no.
69
00:06:39,134 --> 00:06:39,667
It was fine.
70
00:06:45,301 --> 00:06:49,235
Oh hey any chance I could
get my SAG card after this?
71
00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:50,801
Yeah, and I'll be getting
my acceptance letter
72
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,567
to the Director's Guild
any day now.
73
00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:57,701
Hey look on the bright side.
74
00:06:57,734 --> 00:07:00,235
You get to work with the
world-famous Father Lance.
75
00:07:00,268 --> 00:07:02,033
You'll be saved from the forces
of darkness in front
76
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,235
of millions of viewers!
77
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,701
Where do you want
the rest of these cables?
78
00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:10,101
They're fine where they are just
make sure you're wired up
79
00:07:10,134 --> 00:07:12,534
and don't, forget to mic up
our starlet here.
80
00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:23,000
Do you want me to moan more?
81
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,468
I can, like no problem.
82
00:07:26,501 --> 00:07:28,033
You're doing fine, Hailey.
83
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,201
Okay.
84
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:30,801
It's Heather, but...
85
00:07:38,634 --> 00:07:41,068
I think keep it classy, okay?
86
00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:43,034
Let's go to a club.
87
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:45,534
And I will only
go if I have table service.
88
00:07:46,601 --> 00:07:48,601
Hey, freshy get ready.
89
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,134
We're hitting Lambda in 30.
90
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:52,034
You guys go without me.
91
00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:53,168
I'll meet you there.
92
00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:54,734
You're gonna miss pre-game!
93
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:55,734
Children.
94
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,701
What is she even watching?
95
00:07:58,734 --> 00:08:00,034
Some weird shit.
96
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:01,000
Drink up!
97
00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:06,709
What reality garbage
are you watching now?
98
00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:09,292
"The Cleansing Hour".
99
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:11,917
You've never heard of
"Father Lance"?!
100
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,500
Every week, an incredible
deliverance!
101
00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:17,376
Is that what they call
special effects these days?
102
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:18,959
Here.
103
00:08:19,001 --> 00:08:21,292
You're gonna like this.
104
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,667
I like "The Mindy Project".
105
00:08:24,418 --> 00:08:26,126
Don't you want to witness
divine intervention?
106
00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:39,435
Bryce.
107
00:08:39,468 --> 00:08:40,667
Want me to take it away?
108
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,601
But Dad, "The Cleansing Hour"
is almost on.
109
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:43,767
First you finish your dinner.
110
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,068
Vegetables too Come on.
111
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,767
God damn it, Lance.
112
00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:02,634
Somebody call for an exorcist?
113
00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:05,601
Well hey sugar.
114
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:07,468
Where the hell you been,
man? We're live in four.
115
00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:08,534
I was
116
00:09:09,335 --> 00:09:10,134
counseling?
117
00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:11,235
Is that fucking lipstick?
118
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,435
Well you know they
can't resist a man in uniform.
119
00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,368
Tell me again why I put up
with your shit.
120
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:19,401
I'll give you five million
reasons and climbing.
121
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,501
Yeah, and if one of those
reasons happens to snap a pic
122
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:24,101
of of Father Lance with his hand
down some IHOP waitress's skirt
123
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:24,634
we're done!
124
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,567
It's over!
125
00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:27,034
Drew that's offensive.
126
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:28,567
I'm a Denny's man.
127
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:30,168
What?
128
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:30,801
Would you watch it?
129
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,335
That's our lifeline!
130
00:09:32,368 --> 00:09:34,335
What is your deal today?
131
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:36,301
I think he's just trying to say
you should show more respect
132
00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:37,235
for technology.
133
00:09:40,468 --> 00:09:41,335
Who the fuck's that guy?
134
00:09:42,101 --> 00:09:42,601
Braden.
135
00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:44,667
Sound.
136
00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:46,601
What happened to Chris?
137
00:09:47,435 --> 00:09:49,701
He's under the weather.
Asked me to fill in.
138
00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:52,068
Okay well just don't
get your boom in my shot.
139
00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:53,701
And make sure you
sign an NDA form.
140
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:55,101
Wow!
141
00:09:55,134 --> 00:09:56,368
Forgive me, Lord.
142
00:09:56,401 --> 00:09:58,235
I have sinned it's been
90 seconds
143
00:09:58,268 --> 00:09:59,435
I haven't introduced myself.
144
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:00,301
I'm Lance.
145
00:10:00,335 --> 00:10:01,034
Heather.
146
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,034
Oh.
147
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:04,767
Uh, nice to meet you!
148
00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:06,268
Yeah, well, Heather
it's a beautiful name.
149
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,501
He's gonna shove these up
your nose.
150
00:10:09,101 --> 00:10:11,201
I'm gonna place these in your
nose, they'll dissolve
151
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,201
after five minutes instant
nosebleed.
152
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:14,134
Drew will direct you.
153
00:10:15,468 --> 00:10:16,634
Thank you.
154
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,034
I'm just gonna move your hair
a second
155
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:18,767
and put this in your ear.
156
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:19,734
Okay.
157
00:10:24,268 --> 00:10:25,168
Ooh!
158
00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,235
Sorry!
159
00:10:26,268 --> 00:10:27,468
That's always the most
awkward part.
160
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,368
No problem.
161
00:10:32,268 --> 00:10:33,701
This looks legit!
162
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:34,501
Where'd it come from?
163
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,168
Found it at a garage sale.
164
00:10:36,201 --> 00:10:38,401
30 seconds take
your mark, Padre.
165
00:10:38,435 --> 00:10:40,068
All right, guys!
166
00:10:40,101 --> 00:10:42,435
Let's make it a quick one I got
a date with destiny tonight.
167
00:10:42,468 --> 00:10:43,567
Probably not her real name.
168
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:44,801
Ah, Jesus!
169
00:10:44,834 --> 00:10:46,767
Drew don't take the
Lord's name in vain.
170
00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:48,301
Okay, teen seconds.
You ready, Heather?
171
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:52,501
Okay in three
172
00:10:53,268 --> 00:10:54,401
two
173
00:10:54,435 --> 00:10:55,134
one.
174
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,601
I cast you out in
the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ!
175
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,534
You are at
the mercy of the Creator!
176
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:19,767
Welcome to "The Cleansing Hour".
177
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:22,534
I am Father Lance, your guide
through these troubling times.
178
00:11:23,201 --> 00:11:25,701
Tonight,
we bring you Sabrina.
179
00:11:27,435 --> 00:11:29,534
An innocent soul,
tortured
180
00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:31,235
by the only family
she'd ever known.
181
00:11:31,935 --> 00:11:35,068
Molested by her father,
beaten by her mother
182
00:11:35,101 --> 00:11:37,701
Sabrina sought escape from her
unimaginable pain,
183
00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:40,201
in the form of drugs, alcohol
184
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:43,168
and ultimately, prostitution.
185
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,601
'Cause he's rich Well,
not just 'cause he's rich!
186
00:11:48,134 --> 00:11:51,068
Well anyway,
so it's Josh or Kyle.
187
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,401
The enemy of
God exploited her frailty,
188
00:11:53,435 --> 00:11:56,368
and took control of her body,
but tonight
189
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:59,701
by the grace of God with
my help and your prayers.
190
00:12:00,335 --> 00:12:03,501
Sabrina will be
rid of this evil!
191
00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,734
Okay, that's great, Heather!
192
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,701
Keep your head down,
whatever they can't see
193
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:09,634
will terrify them.
194
00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:14,667
In nomine Patris et Filium
et Spiritum Sanctum.
195
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,802
All right, great
Heather, now try and bite him.
196
00:12:20,835 --> 00:12:24,268
Sabrina is exhibiting incredible
strength and aggression.
197
00:12:24,301 --> 00:12:26,435
This could be a stage four
possession.
198
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:31,268
I command you, unclean spirit
199
00:12:31,301 --> 00:12:34,068
by the mysteries of
the incarnation,
200
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,701
hatched in the resurrection
201
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:38,401
and the ascension of
our Lord Jesus Christ
202
00:12:38,435 --> 00:12:41,034
that you tell me your name
and obey me to the letter!
203
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,101
Speak your name, demon!
204
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:45,735
Okay, Heather
205
00:12:45,768 --> 00:12:49,034
your demon name is
206
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,368
Slubgob.
207
00:12:50,401 --> 00:12:52,435
Repeat: Slubgob.
208
00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:57,034
Your name, demon.
209
00:12:58,101 --> 00:12:58,735
Speak!
210
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:05,168
Damn, Heather, very nice!
211
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,768
Tell me your name, in the
name of our Lord, Jesus Christ!
212
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,735
We are Thoth.
213
00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:20,634
Collector of fractured souls!
214
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,201
Soon we'll be
thousands in number.
215
00:13:24,235 --> 00:13:27,201
Limitless in strength!
216
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:34,301
Just go with it, she said
her name was Thoth.
217
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,201
Uh, Heather I appreciate your
enthusiasm,
218
00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:37,401
but please stick to the script.
219
00:13:40,468 --> 00:13:43,101
Our Father, who art in heaven.
220
00:13:43,134 --> 00:13:44,702
Hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come.
221
00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:46,268
What on Earth are
you two watching?
222
00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:50,751
Are you seeing this?
223
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,168
Thoth.
224
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:59,501
Abhor and slime of Hell,
servant of Satan.
225
00:14:00,534 --> 00:14:03,101
See the cross
of the Lord Jesus
226
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,435
and submit
227
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,668
to the authority
of the Almighty!
228
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:08,702
Fight Sabrina!
229
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:10,268
Fight!
230
00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:11,501
Do not give in!
231
00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:12,301
Fight!
232
00:14:23,635 --> 00:14:24,735
That wasn't me.
233
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,635
Must've slipped.
234
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:31,668
Fuck you, deceiver!
235
00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:34,668
Fuck you for all of the masses!
236
00:14:34,702 --> 00:14:37,668
You will take the world
and the bounty it provides.
237
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,534
You're nothing but a pawn
in the eyes of the Great One!
238
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:41,335
Silence!
239
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:43,534
Silence, demon!
240
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:46,702
I cast you out in the name of
our Lord, Jesus Christ!
241
00:14:47,435 --> 00:14:48,768
Be gone and depart from Sabrina,
242
00:14:48,802 --> 00:14:51,235
who is but an innocent
creature of God!
243
00:14:52,501 --> 00:14:55,201
For it is He who commands you.
244
00:14:55,235 --> 00:14:57,468
He who flung
you from the heights of Heaven
245
00:14:57,501 --> 00:14:59,435
to the depths of Hell!
246
00:14:59,468 --> 00:15:00,301
What the fuck?
247
00:15:04,534 --> 00:15:05,268
Is that you?
248
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:13,668
Hearken therefore
and tremble in fear.
249
00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:18,802
For you are at the mercy
of the creator of all things!
250
00:15:19,468 --> 00:15:21,702
Submit and depart from us!
251
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:32,168
Holy shit!
252
00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:33,568
Heather?
253
00:15:40,301 --> 00:15:42,435
We've got a problem,
something's wrong Heather?
254
00:15:42,468 --> 00:15:43,101
Heather!
255
00:15:44,101 --> 00:15:44,802
I don't think she's acting!
256
00:15:46,101 --> 00:15:47,101
I got to end transmission!
257
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:49,168
Don't you dare!
258
00:15:49,201 --> 00:15:50,068
Look at the numbers!
259
00:15:50,835 --> 00:15:52,335
Help me, Father Lance!
260
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,602
Please!
261
00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:56,134
We've got to fix this!
262
00:15:57,635 --> 00:15:59,501
Don't break the fourth one!
263
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,401
13 million people are gonna
watch this girl die.
264
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:02,468
Who do you think
they're gonna blame?
265
00:16:02,501 --> 00:16:04,535
Help me, Father Lance.
266
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,101
Give me the book!
267
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,235
I'm the exorcist, right?
268
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:13,602
Read it out loud.
269
00:16:13,635 --> 00:16:14,401
Yeah.
270
00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:17,201
Help me, Father Lance!
271
00:16:33,835 --> 00:16:34,635
Repel
272
00:16:39,368 --> 00:16:41,235
Repel, O Lord the devil's power.
273
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,468
Break asunder his
snares and traps
274
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:50,435
Put the unholy
tempter to flight
275
00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:54,635
I cast you out, demon!
276
00:16:55,635 --> 00:16:57,668
Be gone, be gone, be gone!
277
00:16:57,702 --> 00:17:00,702
Depart from us in the name of
Jesus Christ!
278
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:04,001
Be gone!
279
00:17:21,835 --> 00:17:22,802
Sabrina?
280
00:17:26,201 --> 00:17:27,168
Are you with us?
281
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:39,668
Sabrina?
282
00:17:41,635 --> 00:17:43,134
Sabrina, are you with us?
283
00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,101
S-Sabrina?
284
00:17:53,134 --> 00:17:54,702
Sabrina, are you...
285
00:17:54,735 --> 00:17:56,235
are you with us?
286
00:18:04,134 --> 00:18:06,168
Are you with us?
287
00:18:13,602 --> 00:18:15,368
Get her off me!
288
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:21,535
Drew!
289
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,735
Help!
290
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,635
I'll get her legs!
291
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:24,436
I'll get her legs!
292
00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:26,502
What the fuck?
293
00:18:28,301 --> 00:18:29,235
Got her legs!
294
00:18:29,268 --> 00:18:29,969
I got her legs!
295
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:31,134
What the fuck?
296
00:18:58,268 --> 00:18:59,034
What happened?
297
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:01,301
Did I do a good job?
298
00:19:03,835 --> 00:19:05,068
You did good, Heather.
299
00:19:06,201 --> 00:19:07,469
You did good.
300
00:19:07,502 --> 00:19:08,436
I did it.
301
00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:10,668
I fucking did it!
302
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,201
We have to take
a selfie before we go!
303
00:19:58,134 --> 00:19:59,268
Bitch!
304
00:19:59,302 --> 00:20:00,402
I am not.
305
00:20:14,101 --> 00:20:17,068
So God created man in his image.
306
00:20:17,568 --> 00:20:18,702
And then
307
00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:19,668
he created women.
308
00:20:20,201 --> 00:20:22,535
And he said unto them
309
00:20:22,568 --> 00:20:25,702
fruitful and multiply
310
00:20:25,735 --> 00:20:27,668
and populate the Earth
311
00:20:27,702 --> 00:20:28,635
and subdue it.
312
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,668
And so we did.
313
00:20:31,702 --> 00:20:33,602
We fucked like rabbits.
314
00:20:33,635 --> 00:20:35,302
Populated the planet.
315
00:20:35,336 --> 00:20:36,535
And fucked it all up!
316
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,568
Out of the mouths of babes
317
00:20:41,602 --> 00:20:42,502
and The Bible.
318
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,101
Words hurt huh?
319
00:20:47,369 --> 00:20:49,568
Man's words hurt even more,
because they're filled
320
00:20:49,602 --> 00:20:53,101
with nothing more than lies
and bad intentions.
321
00:20:55,568 --> 00:20:59,568
Why don't you just give up, and
let the demon into your body?
322
00:21:02,702 --> 00:21:04,068
And you, demon!
323
00:21:05,302 --> 00:21:06,402
Why do you hesitate
to enter this woman?
324
00:21:07,402 --> 00:21:09,034
She's not as bad as the others.
325
00:21:10,568 --> 00:21:14,168
Jesus, being an
exorcist is really tough!
326
00:21:14,201 --> 00:21:16,302
I mean a real nightmare.
327
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,168
We used to have to
convince the demon
328
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:20,201
out of the body.
329
00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:23,336
But now we are so fucked up
330
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,068
they're too scared
to possess us!
331
00:21:26,568 --> 00:21:28,469
Of course,
it's all God's fault.
332
00:21:28,502 --> 00:21:29,436
He's a workaholic.
333
00:21:30,134 --> 00:21:31,369
I mean
334
00:21:31,402 --> 00:21:34,735
he could've been like everyone
else and worked Monday to Friday
335
00:21:34,768 --> 00:21:37,402
but no, he's an
overachieving asshole
336
00:21:37,436 --> 00:21:39,436
who wanted to
work six days a week
337
00:21:39,469 --> 00:21:41,068
and only rest on Sundays.
338
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:45,101
We could've been so cool
but he was in such a rush now.
339
00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:47,702
He made us human.
340
00:21:47,735 --> 00:21:50,302
There are many
others like him
341
00:21:50,336 --> 00:21:52,735
that take things
too seriously.
342
00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:54,602
Work more than they need to
343
00:21:54,635 --> 00:21:56,034
slaves to their job.
344
00:21:57,034 --> 00:21:59,369
These workaholics are the
ones you have to watch
345
00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:02,768
especially the evil ones.
346
00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:25,102
That was fucking creepy.
347
00:24:00,535 --> 00:24:01,369
Hello?
348
00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:05,102
Hello?
349
00:24:19,568 --> 00:24:20,436
Hello
350
00:24:34,702 --> 00:24:36,069
Hello, Mia
351
00:24:36,102 --> 00:24:37,135
Dave?
352
00:24:37,169 --> 00:24:38,302
Sorry, my fucking Bluetooth.
353
00:24:38,336 --> 00:24:39,635
What are you doing?
354
00:24:39,668 --> 00:24:42,236
Well I'm talking to you
on the phone and driving over
355
00:24:42,269 --> 00:24:43,436
to your place.
356
00:24:43,469 --> 00:24:45,336
You know you're late by the way.
357
00:24:45,369 --> 00:24:47,502
Yeah well,
I might have had to make a stop.
358
00:24:47,535 --> 00:24:49,069
What for?
359
00:24:49,102 --> 00:24:50,735
I got you something.
360
00:24:50,768 --> 00:24:52,702
Last time I got a gift from
you, it was football tickets.
361
00:24:52,735 --> 00:24:54,202
Yeah,
and those were really good seats.
362
00:24:54,236 --> 00:24:55,402
You know I don't watch football.
363
00:24:55,436 --> 00:24:56,735
What?
364
00:24:56,768 --> 00:24:57,602
What do you mean you don't watch
football, since when?
365
00:24:57,635 --> 00:24:58,469
That was a fun day.
366
00:24:58,502 --> 00:25:00,102
I got us on the kiss cam.
367
00:25:00,135 --> 00:25:01,635
We had beers, I got you those
fucking nachos you wanted.
368
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:04,436
Being romantic
is not your thing.
369
00:25:05,236 --> 00:25:06,202
Okay, I'll be there soon.
370
00:25:59,069 --> 00:26:00,602
Come on, come on, don't hit me.
371
00:26:00,635 --> 00:26:01,768
What the fuck is wrong with you?
372
00:26:01,802 --> 00:26:03,069
Are you on fucking steroids
or what?
373
00:26:03,102 --> 00:26:04,369
Oh my gosh!
374
00:26:04,402 --> 00:26:06,202
That is what you
get for being an idiot.
375
00:26:06,236 --> 00:26:08,302
Oh my gosh,
you're so adorable
376
00:26:08,336 --> 00:26:09,402
when you're upset.
377
00:26:09,436 --> 00:26:10,802
What if I had a knife
in my hand?
378
00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:12,302
What if you had a knife
in your hand?
379
00:26:12,336 --> 00:26:13,668
I don't know, what would happen?
380
00:26:13,702 --> 00:26:15,768
Maybe you'd stab me
381
00:26:15,802 --> 00:26:17,802
cut me right here, and I'd get
blood all over you.
382
00:26:17,835 --> 00:26:19,035
You'd get all wet.
383
00:26:20,602 --> 00:26:21,702
I got you a bear.
384
00:26:21,735 --> 00:26:23,502
You are so creepy.
385
00:26:23,535 --> 00:26:24,202
His name is Bill.
386
00:26:24,702 --> 00:26:25,369
Bill?
387
00:26:25,402 --> 00:26:26,469
Mhm.
388
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:28,102
Bill is not a cute
name for a bear.
389
00:26:28,135 --> 00:26:29,302
I think it's a cute
name for a bear.
390
00:26:29,902 --> 00:26:31,102
And I got you flowers.
391
00:26:31,735 --> 00:26:33,202
Does that make up for it?
392
00:26:33,236 --> 00:26:34,535
Am I romantic enough for you?
393
00:26:35,369 --> 00:26:36,102
Yeah?
394
00:26:37,035 --> 00:26:38,502
I like how my shirt
looks on you by the way.
395
00:26:38,535 --> 00:26:39,169
Really?
396
00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:40,069
It's pretty hot.
397
00:26:40,102 --> 00:26:41,269
Yeah?
398
00:26:41,302 --> 00:26:42,735
But I am going to
need it back right now.
399
00:26:43,302 --> 00:26:44,602
I need you to take it off.
400
00:26:44,635 --> 00:26:45,568
Oh!
401
00:26:45,602 --> 00:26:46,602
Should I just take it off?
402
00:26:46,635 --> 00:26:47,336
Like right now, yeah.
403
00:26:48,402 --> 00:26:49,436
Yeah, just like right now.
404
00:26:50,202 --> 00:26:51,202
Yeah, like right now.
405
00:26:51,236 --> 00:26:52,169
That's good,
that's a good start.
406
00:26:53,102 --> 00:26:54,568
A couple more buttons
407
00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:49,702
911,
where is your emergency?
408
00:28:49,735 --> 00:28:50,803
Oh my God, please!
409
00:28:50,836 --> 00:28:52,236
Help me, he's coming after me.
410
00:28:59,436 --> 00:29:00,535
What do you want?
411
00:40:47,703 --> 00:40:49,437
Sorry,
412
00:40:49,470 --> 00:40:51,002
I haven't had breakfast.
413
00:40:51,603 --> 00:40:52,669
Anyway,
414
00:40:54,237 --> 00:40:57,103
back to the
story of Phillipa.
415
00:40:57,136 --> 00:40:59,303
I always wanted
to be a father.
416
00:41:00,636 --> 00:41:02,437
I wanted children
417
00:41:02,470 --> 00:41:03,769
with all my heart.
418
00:41:05,503 --> 00:41:08,303
But Phillipa didn't.
419
00:41:09,603 --> 00:41:12,136
She was perfect
420
00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:15,036
being pregnant
would ruin her figure.
421
00:41:15,970 --> 00:41:18,769
And she would probably
lose followers on Instagram.
422
00:41:19,603 --> 00:41:21,569
After we divorced
423
00:41:21,603 --> 00:41:24,237
Phillipa quickly moved on
424
00:41:24,270 --> 00:41:27,070
and started dating
some other asshole.
425
00:41:27,103 --> 00:41:29,103
Who was even
more boring than me.
426
00:41:31,136 --> 00:41:32,703
A year later
427
00:41:32,736 --> 00:41:34,103
she fell pregnant.
428
00:41:35,636 --> 00:41:37,669
So what the hell happened there?
429
00:41:40,303 --> 00:41:42,536
Perhaps Phillipa thought
she would get more
430
00:41:42,569 --> 00:41:44,736
likes and comments
431
00:41:44,769 --> 00:41:46,303
if she was holding a puppy.
432
00:41:47,003 --> 00:41:49,803
She always liked
to do it doggy style.
433
00:41:49,836 --> 00:41:52,470
She probably thought she
was gonna have puppies.
434
00:41:53,503 --> 00:41:56,036
I loved her dearly
435
00:41:56,070 --> 00:41:58,036
but she was too shallow.
436
00:41:58,070 --> 00:42:00,503
Too
437
00:42:00,536 --> 00:42:03,036
dependant on her appearance.
438
00:42:03,070 --> 00:42:05,203
I mean, you can't blame her.
439
00:42:05,237 --> 00:42:07,103
Who isn't these days?
440
00:42:07,136 --> 00:42:08,703
A culture based
441
00:42:08,736 --> 00:42:11,003
on appearances and hypocrisy.
442
00:42:11,769 --> 00:42:13,437
That's what this is!
443
00:42:14,337 --> 00:42:15,703
Perhaps
444
00:42:15,736 --> 00:42:17,136
that's why I'm here.
445
00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:20,437
Because
446
00:42:20,470 --> 00:42:22,136
I wasn't true to myself.
447
00:42:24,070 --> 00:42:25,370
But No more!
448
00:42:27,070 --> 00:42:29,769
Now it's a time to change.
449
00:42:30,836 --> 00:42:32,403
Now
450
00:42:32,437 --> 00:42:33,769
it's time to be free.
451
00:42:47,794 --> 00:42:49,919
It's nice we can choose
the clothes together.
452
00:42:50,627 --> 00:42:52,128
We're so lucky
453
00:42:52,169 --> 00:42:54,295
not everybody can do that.
454
00:42:54,336 --> 00:42:57,086
It'll be big on you,
but I'd like you to wear
455
00:42:57,128 --> 00:42:58,378
my father's suit.
456
00:42:58,420 --> 00:42:59,461
What do you think?
457
00:43:01,919 --> 00:43:02,752
I don't care.
458
00:43:02,794 --> 00:43:03,586
I'll wear whatever.
459
00:43:03,627 --> 00:43:06,420
No, you must look smart.
460
00:43:06,461 --> 00:43:08,253
It's an important day for me.
461
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:11,336
Lots of people are coming,
you must look perfect.
462
00:43:11,378 --> 00:43:14,086
Then just choose
my clothes for me.
463
00:43:14,128 --> 00:43:15,295
I'm not in the mood.
464
00:43:15,336 --> 00:43:16,128
Shoes?
465
00:43:17,586 --> 00:43:20,919
The brown ones are nicer, right?
466
00:43:20,961 --> 00:43:23,502
Those ones rub
and give me sores.
467
00:43:24,378 --> 00:43:26,253
I prefer the black ones.
468
00:43:26,295 --> 00:43:27,003
These ones.
469
00:43:27,044 --> 00:43:29,336
They're newer.
470
00:43:29,378 --> 00:43:32,669
They're newer because
I never wear them.
471
00:43:32,711 --> 00:43:33,586
They rub.
472
00:43:33,627 --> 00:43:36,003
Then put some plasters on.
473
00:43:36,044 --> 00:43:38,586
Why ask me which shoes I want
if you're going
474
00:43:38,627 --> 00:43:40,086
to choose them yourself?
475
00:43:40,128 --> 00:43:41,794
Which tie?
476
00:43:41,836 --> 00:43:43,086
I like these two.
477
00:43:44,128 --> 00:43:46,211
I don't like wearing a tie.
478
00:43:46,253 --> 00:43:48,461
I never wear a tie.
479
00:43:48,502 --> 00:43:49,461
It's not my style.
480
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:51,003
Style!
481
00:43:51,961 --> 00:43:53,544
Style What's your style?
482
00:43:54,711 --> 00:43:56,336
You look like a rustic.
483
00:43:56,378 --> 00:43:59,253
I am a rustic and I like
the way I look, okay?
484
00:44:01,128 --> 00:44:03,378
Shave that beard off.
485
00:44:03,420 --> 00:44:05,420
You're not going
with that great beard.
486
00:44:05,461 --> 00:44:08,336
You're not touching
my great beard.
487
00:44:08,378 --> 00:44:10,878
I was practically
born with a beard.
488
00:44:10,919 --> 00:44:13,295
You met me with this beard.
489
00:44:13,336 --> 00:44:16,794
That beard is
going and that's that.
490
00:44:16,836 --> 00:44:20,044
Don't you dare
I mean it, okay?
491
00:44:25,128 --> 00:44:26,086
Darling.
492
00:44:30,711 --> 00:44:31,586
That beard.
493
00:44:33,295 --> 00:44:34,752
That beard it's disgusting.
494
00:44:36,336 --> 00:44:37,253
It doesn't suit you.
495
00:44:38,461 --> 00:44:39,502
It never has.
496
00:44:41,586 --> 00:44:43,878
These clothes
that we're choosing
497
00:44:43,919 --> 00:44:46,170
you'll be wearing for eternity.
498
00:44:46,211 --> 00:44:47,502
We don't have much time
499
00:44:47,544 --> 00:44:51,836
so make an effort and
help me with all of this.
500
00:44:52,919 --> 00:44:54,502
You're the star.
501
00:44:54,544 --> 00:44:55,794
Lots of people are coming
502
00:44:55,836 --> 00:44:58,711
to see you one last
time at your wake.
503
00:44:58,752 --> 00:45:02,211
So I want you to look
handsome and radiant.
504
00:45:02,253 --> 00:45:04,003
They'll think that I've dressed
you badly because
505
00:45:04,044 --> 00:45:05,919
you're a simple villager.
506
00:45:05,961 --> 00:45:09,295
But that's what I am.
507
00:45:09,336 --> 00:45:12,170
That's how I want
people to remember me.
508
00:45:12,211 --> 00:45:14,170
With my shirts
509
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:15,919
with tracksuit bottoms
510
00:45:16,627 --> 00:45:18,128
and, above all
511
00:45:18,170 --> 00:45:19,086
with my beard.
512
00:45:20,627 --> 00:45:22,295
Don't touch my beard, okay?
513
00:45:23,378 --> 00:45:25,919
I have to get the flowers
514
00:45:25,961 --> 00:45:28,502
the coffin and
call the last guests.
515
00:45:28,544 --> 00:45:30,669
The burial is in three days.
516
00:45:31,752 --> 00:45:33,378
So don't be selfish.
517
00:45:33,420 --> 00:45:35,003
Cooperate a little, please.
518
00:45:35,044 --> 00:45:36,502
Darling
519
00:45:36,544 --> 00:45:39,586
why don't you just wait until
I die and you can do it
520
00:45:39,627 --> 00:45:40,836
as you like.
521
00:45:40,878 --> 00:45:45,170
Darling, I don't like
to remind you but
522
00:45:45,211 --> 00:45:47,544
the doctor said you have
less than 48 hours left.
523
00:45:48,378 --> 00:45:49,502
What if he's wrong?
524
00:45:51,502 --> 00:45:52,711
He won't be wrong.
525
00:46:25,711 --> 00:46:27,420
He looks so smart.
526
00:46:27,462 --> 00:46:29,420
Are the clothes his?
527
00:46:29,462 --> 00:46:31,711
Or are they from the funeral
home?
528
00:46:31,753 --> 00:46:34,128
It's my father's suit.
529
00:46:34,170 --> 00:46:36,836
We chose it together
for the occasion.
530
00:46:37,627 --> 00:46:40,295
Rest assured, dear.
531
00:46:40,336 --> 00:46:43,128
He's more handsome
dead than he was alive.
532
00:46:43,170 --> 00:46:46,669
A little too much make-up
though, don't you think?
533
00:46:46,711 --> 00:46:49,836
If not he'd be white and
would give us the chills
534
00:46:49,878 --> 00:46:52,878
but I think it's a
complete waste of time.
535
00:46:52,919 --> 00:46:55,003
He'll start to rot
in a few hours.
536
00:46:55,045 --> 00:46:57,211
He looks better without a beard.
537
00:46:57,253 --> 00:46:58,711
He looks younger.
538
00:46:58,753 --> 00:47:00,544
He's unrecognizable
without it.
539
00:47:00,586 --> 00:47:01,878
He looks gay.
540
00:47:01,919 --> 00:47:04,669
I always told him to shave.
541
00:47:04,711 --> 00:47:07,295
Without that beard,
he's so handsome.
542
00:47:07,337 --> 00:47:09,003
He looks like a fairy.
543
00:47:09,045 --> 00:47:10,045
Why did you shave him?
544
00:47:12,253 --> 00:47:13,586
It was one of his last requests.
545
00:47:17,003 --> 00:47:20,337
If you don't mind, could
you join the others?
546
00:47:20,378 --> 00:47:22,045
I'd like to be alone with him.
547
00:47:50,211 --> 00:47:51,804
Darling!
548
00:47:56,878 --> 00:47:58,253
What the hell are
you doing alive?
549
00:47:59,045 --> 00:47:59,919
I don't know.
550
00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:02,295
I just woke up.
551
00:48:02,337 --> 00:48:03,836
My God, what a shock.
552
00:48:03,878 --> 00:48:05,045
How can this be?
553
00:48:05,086 --> 00:48:08,128
The doctor confirmed your death
a few hours ago.
554
00:48:08,170 --> 00:48:10,462
He confirmed it badly then.
555
00:48:10,502 --> 00:48:12,128
Because, as you can see,
556
00:48:12,170 --> 00:48:13,378
I'm alive.
557
00:48:13,420 --> 00:48:16,420
I feel absolutely fine.
558
00:48:16,462 --> 00:48:18,128
We're burying you in an hour.
559
00:48:20,170 --> 00:48:22,544
Your friends are here,
it's all ready.
560
00:48:22,586 --> 00:48:25,003
Even people who don't like
you came.
561
00:48:26,711 --> 00:48:29,502
We'll cancel it that's that.
562
00:48:30,794 --> 00:48:34,669
I'll go out right now
and explain it all.
563
00:48:34,711 --> 00:48:35,961
Are you crazy?
564
00:48:36,003 --> 00:48:38,128
It's been a lot of trouble.
565
00:48:38,170 --> 00:48:39,337
There are hundreds of people.
566
00:48:39,378 --> 00:48:41,669
There are high expectations.
567
00:48:41,711 --> 00:48:42,878
That many people came?
568
00:48:43,961 --> 00:48:44,961
It's a success.
569
00:48:46,337 --> 00:48:48,128
I've always been a popular guy.
570
00:48:49,836 --> 00:48:52,753
They'll be happy I'm alive.
571
00:48:52,794 --> 00:48:54,128
Darling
572
00:48:54,170 --> 00:48:55,836
I'm your wife and I love you
573
00:48:56,794 --> 00:48:58,628
but it's too late now.
574
00:48:58,669 --> 00:48:59,920
We're used to the idea now.
575
00:49:01,211 --> 00:49:02,502
What do you mean?
576
00:49:02,544 --> 00:49:04,836
We can't lose face.
577
00:49:04,878 --> 00:49:05,920
We'd look stupid.
578
00:49:05,961 --> 00:49:07,920
I'd be a laughing stock.
579
00:49:10,337 --> 00:49:11,794
There's a lot at stake.
580
00:49:12,878 --> 00:49:13,544
What do you mean?
581
00:49:13,586 --> 00:49:15,669
You have to die.
582
00:49:15,711 --> 00:49:17,878
You can't just
resurrect like this.
583
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,253
Are you serious?
584
00:49:19,295 --> 00:49:20,295
Of course.
585
00:49:22,586 --> 00:49:25,669
Shit You can't do this to me.
586
00:49:25,711 --> 00:49:27,502
Juan, don't talk back to me.
587
00:49:27,544 --> 00:49:29,045
Your mother is here.
588
00:49:29,086 --> 00:49:31,502
My parents are on their way.
589
00:49:31,544 --> 00:49:34,170
When they arrive, they
want you dead and buried.
590
00:49:34,212 --> 00:49:35,586
We can't let them down.
591
00:49:35,628 --> 00:49:37,753
I don't want to die yet.
592
00:49:38,203 --> 00:49:40,253
I'm not ready.
593
00:49:41,794 --> 00:49:42,378
Darling.
594
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:44,836
Do you love me?
595
00:49:45,502 --> 00:49:46,462
Yes.
596
00:49:46,502 --> 00:49:48,337
Well, if you really love me
597
00:49:48,378 --> 00:49:49,045
die.
598
00:49:51,711 --> 00:49:53,170
You want me to kill myself?
599
00:49:59,794 --> 00:50:00,711
My little boy.
600
00:50:03,503 --> 00:50:04,878
My little boy's gone.
601
00:50:06,836 --> 00:50:10,170
Faustina, don't fuss over
him you'll crease his suit.
602
00:50:12,586 --> 00:50:13,337
Goodness me.
603
00:50:14,586 --> 00:50:16,669
He's so handsome
without his beard.
604
00:50:17,586 --> 00:50:19,503
You shaved my beard in the end.
605
00:50:19,544 --> 00:50:21,794
What are you doing alive?
606
00:50:21,836 --> 00:50:23,711
I don't know but
I've woken up.
607
00:50:23,753 --> 00:50:25,378
See?
608
00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:27,003
Fresh as a daisy.
609
00:50:27,045 --> 00:50:28,170
It's a miracle!
610
00:50:28,212 --> 00:50:29,637
Yes.
611
00:50:29,711 --> 00:50:31,961
Of course, I said that to her:
612
00:50:32,003 --> 00:50:35,878
"It's a miracle", but
613
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:39,462
now I want to go outside and
give everybody the good news.
614
00:50:39,503 --> 00:50:41,128
But she won't let me.
615
00:50:41,170 --> 00:50:43,628
She says I have to die.
616
00:50:43,669 --> 00:50:45,295
He wants to cancel the funeral.
617
00:50:45,337 --> 00:50:48,337
He says he doesn't want
to be buried until he's dead.
618
00:50:48,378 --> 00:50:49,753
Cancel the funeral?
619
00:50:51,003 --> 00:50:52,836
Are you crazy?
620
00:50:52,878 --> 00:50:55,212
Do you know the
amount of people here?
621
00:50:56,253 --> 00:50:58,544
It's the funeral of the year.
622
00:50:59,462 --> 00:51:01,003
It cannot be canceled.
623
00:51:02,212 --> 00:51:03,378
But, Mum?
624
00:51:03,420 --> 00:51:05,669
Don't "mum" me.
625
00:51:05,711 --> 00:51:07,337
You'll be buried
today and that's that.
626
00:51:08,753 --> 00:51:11,878
We can't lose face
with everybody.
627
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,878
But I don't want to die, Mum.
628
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,003
Son,
629
00:51:16,045 --> 00:51:17,212
don't be selfish.
630
00:51:17,253 --> 00:51:19,753
You have less than one hour
631
00:51:19,795 --> 00:51:20,795
to die.
632
00:51:21,669 --> 00:51:22,961
What rotten luck.
633
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,295
How am I supposed to do it?
634
00:51:28,961 --> 00:51:31,170
I don't know.
635
00:51:31,212 --> 00:51:34,128
I don't know Hold your breath
like when you have the hiccups.
636
00:51:35,586 --> 00:51:36,420
Hiccups?
637
00:51:58,753 --> 00:51:59,586
I can't.
638
00:52:00,212 --> 00:52:00,711
I can't.
639
00:52:00,753 --> 00:52:01,836
I'm suffocating.
640
00:52:01,878 --> 00:52:02,795
Darling, that's the idea.
641
00:52:04,170 --> 00:52:04,961
I don't like it.
642
00:52:06,878 --> 00:52:08,586
Think of another way.
I don't like this one.
643
00:52:09,836 --> 00:52:10,669
Don't cry.
644
00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:12,711
Cooperate a little, son!
645
00:52:14,711 --> 00:52:17,379
If you want me to die
then think of something else.
646
00:52:18,961 --> 00:52:20,628
Why don't you cut your veins?
647
00:52:36,878 --> 00:52:38,128
How's it going, darling?
648
00:52:42,003 --> 00:52:43,836
I feel a little dizzy
649
00:52:44,795 --> 00:52:46,586
but that's about it.
650
00:52:46,628 --> 00:52:49,753
The funeral workers are coming
in 30 minutes,
651
00:52:49,795 --> 00:52:51,586
they can't find him like this!
652
00:52:52,379 --> 00:52:54,379
Marisa, darling?
653
00:52:54,420 --> 00:52:57,003
Go to the kitchen, get
the carving knife and stab me
654
00:52:57,045 --> 00:52:58,420
as many times as it takes.
655
00:52:59,128 --> 00:52:59,920
Me?
656
00:52:59,961 --> 00:53:00,961
Stab you?
657
00:53:01,003 --> 00:53:04,128
How can he be so macabre?
658
00:53:35,962 --> 00:53:36,753
I can't take anymore.
659
00:53:37,836 --> 00:53:38,795
Come on.
660
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:40,795
Harder.
661
00:53:41,795 --> 00:53:42,795
You won't die.
662
00:53:44,795 --> 00:53:46,253
Don't you feel anything?
663
00:53:46,295 --> 00:53:47,253
My dear
664
00:53:48,795 --> 00:53:51,337
my stomach hurts, but
665
00:53:51,379 --> 00:53:53,087
I think I'm just nervous.
666
00:53:54,170 --> 00:53:54,836
Damn it, Juanito.
667
00:53:54,878 --> 00:53:55,670
Just die!
668
00:53:58,462 --> 00:53:59,586
How's it going?
669
00:53:59,628 --> 00:54:00,337
Mum!
670
00:54:00,379 --> 00:54:01,628
We're running out of time.
671
00:54:01,670 --> 00:54:02,753
People are impatient.
672
00:54:05,711 --> 00:54:07,920
This bastard
doesn't want to die.
673
00:54:07,962 --> 00:54:08,836
I'll help.
674
00:54:08,878 --> 00:54:10,462
I found this in the kitchen.
675
00:54:10,503 --> 00:54:11,670
Mum?
676
00:54:11,711 --> 00:54:12,962
What are you going to do?
677
00:54:15,254 --> 00:54:17,212
You keep stabbing him.
678
00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:19,795
I'm going to whisk his stomach.
679
00:54:26,170 --> 00:54:28,087
It's disgusting!
680
00:54:28,128 --> 00:54:30,003
Life is disgusting
681
00:54:32,379 --> 00:54:33,628
death more so.
682
00:54:36,337 --> 00:54:37,462
What beautiful words, Mum.
683
00:54:55,962 --> 00:54:57,753
Why are you smoking?
684
00:54:58,628 --> 00:54:59,628
Smoking kills.
685
00:55:01,462 --> 00:55:03,254
It'll take hours for
him to bleed out.
686
00:55:04,878 --> 00:55:05,878
It's not working.
687
00:55:07,711 --> 00:55:10,711
But the blood
is perfectly fluffy.
688
00:55:10,753 --> 00:55:11,503
Fantastic.
689
00:55:17,545 --> 00:55:18,462
Look at it all.
690
00:55:22,212 --> 00:55:25,379
I didn't want to let anyone
down and now it's a disaster.
691
00:55:29,837 --> 00:55:31,462
I gave my life
preparing this funeral
692
00:55:32,837 --> 00:55:34,604
for nothing.
693
00:55:41,128 --> 00:55:42,545
Who will clean all this blood?
694
00:55:42,804 --> 00:55:45,379
What will we say?
695
00:55:45,420 --> 00:55:46,586
What will they think of us?
696
00:55:47,420 --> 00:55:48,420
Look!
697
00:55:48,462 --> 00:55:49,837
Look at our dresses
698
00:55:49,878 --> 00:55:51,420
and what we've
done to your son.
699
00:55:53,128 --> 00:55:54,670
What do we look like?
700
00:55:54,711 --> 00:55:56,045
You look like what you are:
701
00:55:57,462 --> 00:55:58,212
Two fucking psychopaths.
702
00:56:03,170 --> 00:56:04,586
How dare you insult your mother.
703
00:56:06,503 --> 00:56:07,962
Who does he think he is?
704
00:56:08,795 --> 00:56:10,087
Some manners!
705
00:56:13,795 --> 00:56:14,628
He's not moving.
706
00:56:16,003 --> 00:56:16,545
What?
707
00:56:17,795 --> 00:56:18,795
He's not moving
708
00:56:24,337 --> 00:56:25,212
or breathing.
709
00:56:26,379 --> 00:56:27,753
Are you sure?
710
00:56:27,795 --> 00:56:28,753
Yes
711
00:56:28,795 --> 00:56:29,920
yes.
712
00:56:29,962 --> 00:56:31,212
I think you killed him.
713
00:56:33,170 --> 00:56:35,045
I killed
714
00:56:35,087 --> 00:56:36,503
my son?
715
00:56:36,545 --> 00:56:37,711
Yes, Faustina.
716
00:56:37,753 --> 00:56:38,711
You killed him!
717
00:56:38,753 --> 00:56:39,337
You killed him!
718
00:56:39,379 --> 00:56:39,962
No.
719
00:56:40,003 --> 00:56:42,254
I can't have done.
720
00:56:42,295 --> 00:56:45,129
Not my son, no.
721
00:56:45,170 --> 00:56:47,129
But Faustina, isn't
this what we wanted?
722
00:56:48,795 --> 00:56:51,503
The worst thing that
can happen to a mother
723
00:56:51,545 --> 00:56:53,003
is to lose her child!
724
00:56:58,586 --> 00:57:00,421
But, at least
725
00:57:00,462 --> 00:57:02,795
we don't have to
cancel the ceremony.
726
00:57:17,837 --> 00:57:18,628
I think I scared them.
727
00:57:21,045 --> 00:57:23,545
They didn't recognize
me without my beard.
728
00:57:23,586 --> 00:57:24,711
What do we do now?
729
00:57:43,003 --> 00:57:44,295
Why can't I die?
730
00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:47,212
Why can't I die?!
731
00:59:14,753 --> 00:59:16,421
Dr Gonzalez,
please go to surgery.
732
00:59:39,471 --> 00:59:42,704
And this low pressure system,
is going to slide in
733
00:59:42,737 --> 00:59:44,404
and bring with it.
734
00:59:48,587 --> 00:59:50,421
Now what? you fucking gringo.
735
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:51,837
I have my green card!
736
00:59:55,604 --> 00:59:57,604
US Border protection:
How can I help you?
737
00:59:59,379 --> 01:00:00,337
Well yeah.
738
01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:02,421
You can help me,
give me my job back.
739
01:00:05,212 --> 01:00:06,462
What the fuck did you do?
740
01:00:06,503 --> 01:00:07,503
What the fuck did you do?
741
01:00:07,545 --> 01:00:08,962
You destroyed my car,
fucking gringo!
742
01:00:09,137 --> 01:00:10,604
Thanks for your collaboration,
743
01:00:10,637 --> 01:00:13,171
and remember:
Don't come back again!
744
01:00:16,795 --> 01:00:19,379
And the gringo wants
to charge us for the wall.
745
01:00:19,421 --> 01:00:21,670
Tell him no,
fucking racist gringo!
746
01:00:21,712 --> 01:00:22,795
We won't pay you shit!
747
01:00:24,604 --> 01:00:26,304
Wait a minute please.
748
01:00:39,628 --> 01:00:40,837
Mr. Trump
749
01:00:40,879 --> 01:00:43,503
look, we are
honest people and
750
01:00:43,545 --> 01:00:44,879
we only want to ask you to...
751
01:01:26,296 --> 01:01:28,004
Who changed my case?
752
01:01:28,045 --> 01:01:29,837
Who did you steal this from?
753
01:01:29,879 --> 01:01:32,129
Well, it was there
754
01:01:35,462 --> 01:01:37,296
Play the guitar!
755
01:01:37,337 --> 01:01:39,753
Sing something, but in
English, or he won't understand.
756
01:01:53,670 --> 01:01:55,670
Come here Mr. diplomat.
757
01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:57,920
It's up to you to demand him
758
01:01:57,962 --> 01:01:58,920
put it on!
759
01:01:59,879 --> 01:02:01,503
If you don't
760
01:02:01,545 --> 01:02:04,879
he'll step over our people
and destroy our culture.
761
01:02:08,879 --> 01:02:10,379
Go, hurry up!
762
01:02:16,254 --> 01:02:18,254
Now, who could save us?
763
01:02:27,754 --> 01:02:28,628
Hey what's that?
764
01:02:28,670 --> 01:02:30,129
It's a miracle!
765
01:02:31,545 --> 01:02:33,337
It's quetzalcoatl.
766
01:02:33,379 --> 01:02:34,962
Is it the hail Mary?
767
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,379
It is the hail Mary!
768
01:02:57,795 --> 01:02:59,920
Hell yeah motherfucker!
769
01:04:24,705 --> 01:04:25,705
Well, believe it or not
we are already halfway
770
01:04:27,304 --> 01:04:28,438
through the show.
771
01:04:29,404 --> 01:04:31,438
Wasn't as bad as you thought.
772
01:04:31,471 --> 01:04:32,771
Well, perhaps it was
773
01:04:32,805 --> 01:04:34,604
but you have to defend
yourself, don't you?
774
01:04:35,771 --> 01:04:37,604
A wise man once said
775
01:04:38,471 --> 01:04:40,504
that our decisions
get us into trouble
776
01:04:41,604 --> 01:04:43,037
but our pride
that keeps us there.
777
01:04:44,805 --> 01:04:47,570
Sometimes we make
decisions to please people
778
01:04:47,604 --> 01:04:48,570
or annoy them.
779
01:04:50,071 --> 01:04:51,404
Like I did with my father
780
01:04:52,471 --> 01:04:54,738
I decided to study
accountancy
781
01:04:54,771 --> 01:04:56,137
just to piss him off.
782
01:04:56,838 --> 01:04:58,537
My dad was a rock singer
783
01:04:58,570 --> 01:05:01,471
but not one of those that
would sell a million records
784
01:05:01,504 --> 01:05:03,537
or that you would see on TV.
785
01:05:03,570 --> 01:05:05,605
He was the type of guy that
would hop from bar to bar
786
01:05:05,638 --> 01:05:07,104
working for tips.
787
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:09,238
He was happy
788
01:05:10,071 --> 01:05:11,238
a free soul.
789
01:05:12,438 --> 01:05:14,638
But he never gave
my mother or I a dime.
790
01:05:15,771 --> 01:05:17,638
He said money was
the root of all evil.
791
01:05:19,838 --> 01:05:21,805
I was 19 when I enrolled to
study the thing
792
01:05:21,838 --> 01:05:24,137
he would hate the most:
accounting.
793
01:05:25,238 --> 01:05:26,537
I would count money
794
01:05:26,570 --> 01:05:28,137
touch money
795
01:05:28,171 --> 01:05:29,304
smell money.
796
01:05:31,504 --> 01:05:33,504
And become the
complete opposite
797
01:05:33,537 --> 01:05:34,605
of what he was:
798
01:05:35,338 --> 01:05:36,304
an artist.
799
01:05:38,671 --> 01:05:41,071
Deep down I hated
my choice too
800
01:05:41,104 --> 01:05:43,638
but the fact that it depressed
and disappointed my father
801
01:05:43,671 --> 01:05:45,738
was reason enough
for it to be worthwhile.
802
01:05:46,671 --> 01:05:49,371
And that's how I ended up
working in a career that I hate
803
01:05:50,404 --> 01:05:51,605
and now my father is dead.
804
01:05:53,071 --> 01:05:54,204
I hadn't accounted on that.
805
01:05:55,238 --> 01:05:59,537
Never do anything for anyone
else for any reason whatsoever!
806
01:05:59,571 --> 01:06:00,438
Never!
807
01:06:02,338 --> 01:06:03,605
You just do you!
808
01:17:37,771 --> 01:17:41,205
When I die, I wanna go
peacefully like my grandad.
809
01:17:41,839 --> 01:17:43,705
Not screaming like
his passengers.
810
01:17:46,638 --> 01:17:48,805
John says to Jack:
811
01:17:48,839 --> 01:17:51,705
You know since yesterday
my uncle rests in peace.
812
01:17:52,605 --> 01:17:54,072
Jack says:
813
01:17:54,105 --> 01:17:55,439
Oh sorry.
814
01:17:55,472 --> 01:17:57,805
I didn't know your uncle died.
815
01:17:57,839 --> 01:18:00,105
He didn't, it was
my aunt who died.
816
01:18:05,072 --> 01:18:06,705
Two guys meet in heaven
817
01:18:06,738 --> 01:18:08,339
one says to the other:
818
01:18:08,372 --> 01:18:10,038
How did you go?
819
01:18:10,072 --> 01:18:11,671
I froze to death,
said the other
820
01:18:11,705 --> 01:18:13,038
and you?
821
01:18:13,072 --> 01:18:14,339
I died of laughter
822
01:18:15,272 --> 01:18:16,372
Laughter?
823
01:18:16,405 --> 01:18:17,638
What do you mean?
824
01:18:17,671 --> 01:18:20,405
Well, I thought my wife
was having an affair
825
01:18:20,439 --> 01:18:21,771
so I left for work
826
01:18:21,806 --> 01:18:24,405
and then returned an
hour later to catch them
827
01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:26,806
I searched the whole
house for them
828
01:18:26,839 --> 01:18:29,038
and when I
realized my mistake
829
01:18:29,072 --> 01:18:32,638
I started laughing and
gave myself a heart-attack!
830
01:18:32,671 --> 01:18:34,038
You idiot!
831
01:18:34,072 --> 01:18:35,738
Says the other guy.
832
01:18:35,771 --> 01:18:39,038
If you looked in the freezer
you could have saved us both!
833
01:18:43,505 --> 01:18:44,205
Get it?
834
01:18:45,339 --> 01:18:47,239
The lover was
hiding in the freezer!
835
01:18:47,873 --> 01:18:49,772
The other guy was a cuckold!
836
01:18:50,605 --> 01:18:52,205
Just like you!
837
01:18:52,239 --> 01:18:53,405
Why did you say that?
838
01:18:53,439 --> 01:18:55,671
Because you are a cuckold
839
01:18:55,705 --> 01:18:57,105
I'm not a cuckold!
840
01:18:57,138 --> 01:18:59,505
Yes, you're holding
my cock right now.
841
01:19:01,339 --> 01:19:02,705
No I'm not.
842
01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,105
Anyway,
843
01:19:04,138 --> 01:19:05,705
I don't know why
I'm arguing with you.
844
01:19:05,738 --> 01:19:08,571
I don't know why you've
got your hand up my ass.
845
01:19:10,272 --> 01:19:13,105
Stop it. You know nothing.
You know nothing about Phillipa.
846
01:19:13,138 --> 01:19:14,038
She loves me.
847
01:19:14,738 --> 01:19:16,172
No, you're right.
848
01:19:16,205 --> 01:19:17,172
Of course I don't.
849
01:19:18,372 --> 01:19:20,339
But you remind
me of this guy Dan.
850
01:19:21,472 --> 01:19:23,439
Dan was playing in the casino.
851
01:19:23,472 --> 01:19:25,372
His friend rushes in and says:
852
01:19:25,405 --> 01:19:27,205
Quick, Dan!
853
01:19:27,239 --> 01:19:30,538
Your wife is sleeping with
someone else in the car park.
854
01:19:30,571 --> 01:19:32,105
Dan runs out
855
01:19:32,138 --> 01:19:34,072
comes back ten minutes later.
856
01:19:34,605 --> 01:19:36,038
You idiot!
857
01:19:36,072 --> 01:19:37,472
You scared me!
858
01:19:37,505 --> 01:19:39,105
It wasn't someone else.
859
01:19:39,138 --> 01:19:41,538
It was the same
guy as always.
860
01:19:44,105 --> 01:19:45,105
Cut it out.
861
01:19:45,138 --> 01:19:48,372
Phillipa says: Honey, can
you buy me a cell phone?
862
01:19:48,939 --> 01:19:50,638
What about the other one?
863
01:19:50,671 --> 01:19:52,305
The other one will
get me a tablet.
864
01:19:55,205 --> 01:19:57,505
Hey Brandon.
865
01:19:57,538 --> 01:19:59,571
You know how
Phillipa's nickname
866
01:19:59,605 --> 01:20:01,138
is Phil.
867
01:20:01,172 --> 01:20:04,172
Well when she gets a
runny nose from too much sex
868
01:20:04,205 --> 01:20:06,671
the guys all call her Phul!
869
01:20:09,239 --> 01:20:10,472
Hey!
870
01:20:10,505 --> 01:20:12,439
You know what else
they call your wife?
871
01:20:12,472 --> 01:20:14,505
American Flag!
872
01:20:14,538 --> 01:20:17,105
Cause she even gets
planted on the Moon!
873
01:21:37,205 --> 01:21:38,205
Mission control?
874
01:21:41,172 --> 01:21:42,239
Do you read me?
875
01:21:44,606 --> 01:21:45,571
Mission control!
876
01:21:46,339 --> 01:21:47,038
Do you read me?
877
01:21:47,072 --> 01:21:47,706
Over!
878
01:21:55,305 --> 01:21:59,205
Mission Control, this
is SEV Omega T26.
879
01:21:59,839 --> 01:22:01,138
I need help!
880
01:22:02,672 --> 01:22:03,772
Please answer!
881
01:22:10,272 --> 01:22:14,172
Mission Control this
is SEV Omega T26.
882
01:22:15,405 --> 01:22:17,739
Please answer!
883
01:22:44,205 --> 01:22:47,472
This is SEV Omega T26.
884
01:22:48,439 --> 01:22:49,439
I need help!
885
01:22:53,172 --> 01:22:54,172
Mayday!
886
01:22:58,839 --> 01:23:00,706
Mission Control, please.
887
01:23:00,739 --> 01:23:02,072
Please answer someone!
888
01:23:02,105 --> 01:23:03,672
Please!
889
01:23:03,706 --> 01:23:06,606
Please, just...
890
01:23:30,806 --> 01:23:35,138
Oh I Wonder what you are.
891
01:23:37,572 --> 01:23:42,072
Up above the world so High.
892
01:23:45,205 --> 01:23:49,239
Like a diamond in the sky.
893
01:25:56,572 --> 01:25:57,305
Hello?
894
01:25:59,172 --> 01:26:01,005
Is anybody there?
895
01:26:05,072 --> 01:26:08,340
Mayday! This is SEV Omega T26
896
01:30:56,706 --> 01:30:59,273
Houston, Tranquility Base here.
897
01:30:59,306 --> 01:31:01,139
The Eagle has landed.
898
01:31:28,373 --> 01:31:30,173
Okay, Houston,
we've had a problem here.
899
01:31:31,139 --> 01:31:31,906
This is Houston.
900
01:31:31,939 --> 01:31:33,005
Say again, please.
901
01:31:33,039 --> 01:31:34,706
Uh,
Houston, we've had a problem.
902
01:31:46,739 --> 01:31:48,672
Needless to say,
they have useful application
903
01:31:48,706 --> 01:31:51,440
in a lot of situations.
904
01:31:51,473 --> 01:31:53,539
But when it comes to your skin,
905
01:31:53,572 --> 01:31:55,672
chemicals are
a definitely no-no.
906
01:31:55,706 --> 01:31:58,240
So also bio
food bio beauty products.
907
01:31:58,273 --> 01:31:59,306
Why am I not surprised?
908
01:32:01,306 --> 01:32:03,739
Ok, people listening
to us are probably dying to know more.
909
01:32:03,772 --> 01:32:06,106
So, stop the agony and give me
the cure.
910
01:32:06,139 --> 01:32:09,672
Well,
biological are quiet trendy today.
911
01:32:09,706 --> 01:32:12,340
The beauty and now the help is
we have started to get
912
01:32:12,373 --> 01:32:14,440
on the bandwagon, saying that
913
01:32:14,473 --> 01:32:17,606
"If people put bio
into their bodies.
914
01:32:17,639 --> 01:32:20,440
Why not put bio
onto their bodies too?"
915
01:32:20,473 --> 01:32:22,139
It's just really stuff.
916
01:32:22,173 --> 01:32:24,539
Yeah,
it's fascinating and also
917
01:32:24,572 --> 01:32:26,206
and now you have authenticity
right here.
918
01:32:26,240 --> 01:32:28,240
Quiet a lot of it is natural
and vital ingredients
919
01:32:28,273 --> 01:32:31,173
and lotions-our listeners
can go out and buy it
920
01:32:31,206 --> 01:32:32,506
at any natural food store.
921
01:32:32,539 --> 01:32:33,473
Am I right?
922
01:32:33,506 --> 01:32:36,006
Yes. Yes, yes, you're right.
923
01:35:47,306 --> 01:35:49,539
Help me!
924
01:39:18,773 --> 01:39:20,707
Come on.
925
01:39:48,373 --> 01:39:49,807
Hello.
926
01:39:49,840 --> 01:39:51,173
Hey sheriff.
57525
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