All language subtitles for Another.Evil.2016.1080p.BluRay.x264-ROVERS

- Snake?

- Rocket man?
- Sn-A lizard?

- Lizard man?

- Lifting?

- Earth - Earthworm?
Pulling up...

- Pulling up your pants?
- Unitards?

- Butterflies?

Caterpillar?
Metamorphosis?

Birthing?

Spell it out with your hand.

Tire?
Uh, stretch?

Tummy?

What's that?
Did you...

- That was an animal, I think.
- No.

- Animal can't get upstairs.

- Well, okay,
but take-take a poker,

just in case.

- Here we go.

- Should we keep going?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Hello?

Hello?

Ah!

- Dad! Dad!

Dad, there's a burglar!

- What?! What?!

- There was a burglar
in the hall.

- Get up.

Let's go! Let's go!

Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!

- What's going on?

- I saw someone.
- Don't open the door.

- Get out of my house,
motherfucker!

- The presence you sensed,
where was it, exactly?

- It was out in the hallway,
like, right there.

- And you were lying here?

- Yeah, I was...
- I was trying to fall asleep.

- Okay-

Let's go check out
the other ghost rooms.

Ah.

This it?

- That's it.

- You remember which
brushes fell?

- Those three right there.

- None of 'em are inherited

or bought from odd men
at garage sales or anything?

- No.
- I bought them new.

- All right.

Well, the weird energy's
definitely concentrated

right up here,

so I'm gonna spend
a little time in here,

try to talk to 'em
if that's cool with you.

- You're gonna talk to them?

- Yeah. Is that cool?
- Sure.

- Listen. Whatever...
- whatever you need to do, okay?

Is there anything that
we can do to, uh, help?

- Mmm.

You could throw that out for me.
Thanks.

And, uh, close the door
on your way out, please.

Thank you.

- Whoa, whoa!
- Who's this?

Oh.
Why'd you do that then?

I love you!
I said I love you!

Look, I really gotta get back.

- Sweetheart, I don't know
if I'm buying this guy.

- Oh?
- Gretta swears by him.

- Gretta believes in Atlantis,
okay?

This-this is the type of guy
you have a beer with,

not the kind of guy
that has a connection

to the supernatural realm.

- Okay.
- We're good here.

Mind if I get myself
a glass of water?

- Yes, please.
- The glasses are... oh.

- Well, that was crazy.

I got, uh, pulled into their
world for a little while there.

I saw this, like, red sky
and a rock formation.

It was crazy.

- So you actually spoke to them?

- Oh, yeah, big time.

All right,
so here's the good news.

Actually, it's all good news.

Yeah.

First off, yes,
your house is haunted,

but the ghosts are ambivalent.

In fact,
they're actually kind of cool.

- I'm sorry.
- What-what do you mean by that?

- They're good.
- Good ghosts.

- Wow.
- So there's more than one?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, there's two.

There's a guy,
who it sounds like you saw,

and a lady.

Huh.

Okay, but what about the
chair and the brushes?

- Those seem like fairly
aggressive moves.

- Yeah, they were just
trying to make contact.

I think they just... they just
wanted to make some noises

before they showed
themselves to you.

They didn't want to scare you.

- Yeah, well, that approach
obviously didn't work.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- So how do we get rid of 'em?

- Well, that's the thing.
- You don't.

- I'm confused.

I thought-I thought
we were hiring you to get,

- uh, rid of the ghosts.
- Yeah.

- That is what I would be doing
for an additional fee

if I felt that the presence
was malevolent,

but that's not the case.

Like, if anything, you should
consider yourself lucky.

- Lucky?

- Yes, lucky.

What you have here is
an amazing natural phenomenon.

Just try to think of it
as like an Aurora Borealis

that only you get to see,
because it is contained

to your house,
and your house alone.

- So you're saying that
we cannot get rid of them.

- No. I don't-
Maybe you could, but it-

In my opinion, that'd be
kind of an asshole move.

These entities are just
trying to go about their lives.

Yeah.

- Look, you trying
to get rid of them

would be tantamount
to them trying to get of you.

How would you like that?

- Okay-

- You all occupy the same space.

They're just in
a different dimension.

It just so happens that,
for whatever reason,

the membrane
is somewhat permeable here,

so you can see each other.

This...
It's not a big deal.

It's not something
that needs to be fixed.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

I mean,
I think that makes sense to me.

- Whoa, wait.
- Sweetheart.

So you're saying we have
to live with these things.

- No.
- I'm not saying you have to.

I'm saying you get to.

Whoa.

You need a cleansing.

You want one, too?

Second one's 50% off.

- Mmm.

I am going to miss
that mountain air.

- Yeah, me, too.

- So you managed to get, uh,

some painting done
up in Prescott?

- Uh, no, not really.

Spent most of the weekend
dealing with, uh...

- What?

- You're not gonna
believe this, but...

my house is haunted.

- Okay, are you sure
you're not just imagining this?

I mean, we did a shit-ton
of acid back in the day.

- No, man.
- I mean, I wish.

There's something up there.

- And this dude, he said
you should just live with it,

like it's no big deal?

- Yeah,
that's exactly what he said,

and then that it's
"special and good."

- Well, that's bullshit.
- I mean, that's your cabin.

You worked hard for that.

You shouldn't just
leave it haunted.

Right?
I mean, I don't know.

- That's my opinion.
- I don't know either.

- I don't know
what the hell to do about it.

- You know, Marcus had
to deal with some weird type

of ghost shit at his place
that he bought on Holly Oak.

- Really?
- What happened?

- Well, they move in.

At first, everything's fine,

and then they start to realize
that the guest room

is just really funky.

You know, it has a feeling.

When you walk in,
you feel totally oppressed,

like you... you feel this
pressure bearing down on you.

Then his parents come to stay.

They're up at 6:00 A.M.

They're saying
they have to leave,

that it's too creepy.

Marcus can't get his own parents
to stay a second longer.

So, Marcus, he hires this guy.

I think his name's, like,
Icy or Izzy or something,

and this dude is just
a straight-up ghost assassin.

They bring him to the room.

He just walks in.
He feels the energy.

He zeroes in on the bed,
and he's like,

"When did you get this bed?"

And they say, "We got it
right when we moved in

from an antique store."

This dude rips off
the mattress, right?

There's these wooden slats
that hold up the mattress.

There's one slat that's,
like, oily and black

and just weird and different.

This dude's like,
"Fucking bingo."

He takes that slat,
and he feels it,

and then he just thinks,

goes in a different place
or whatever the fuck,

and he's like,
"This, this is from a gallows

- that hung 10,000 men."
- Whoa.

- And then this dude,

he took the piece of wood out,
and immediately,

immediately the house
was fucking normal.

- So he totally fixed it for them?
- Yeah, man.

I can get his number,
if you want, from Marcus.

I mean, if it was me

and there was a fucking
ghost in my house,

even if that shit was friendly,
I would not want that there.

I mean, you don't want
a haunted cabin.

- It's the last thing I want.
- Exactly.

- I'm getting his
number for you.

We will fix this problem.

Because I need you to paint.

- Os Bijourn.

Lots of interpretations.

It's good.

- The guy said they're harmless,

like an Aurora Borealis
just for us,

and not to worry about it,
but, uh...

- Mm-hmm.

And this guy, did he,
uh, have a name?

- Joey, uh...

- Joey Lee Dansing?

- Yeah.
- You know him?

- Yeah, I know Joey.

I know he's sloppy, he's lazy.

He's a total bleeding heart
when it comes to ghosts.

I mean, he's always
on their side every time.

Just fuck that.

You know, fuck Joey.

- Yeah. I mean, he said they're
not even necessarily ghosts.

He said they could be beings
from another dimension.

- Ah, I don't disagree
with him there,

but I wouldn't necessarily
call them "beings" per Se.

- What would you call them?

- How are you?
- Fine, thanks.

- What would I call them?

Demons.

- Demons?
- Fuck, yeah.

- With a capital D, dude.

And from hearing your account
of the encounters,

I'd say they pose a definite
threat to your home,

to your mental
and physical health,

your wife's health, your son's.

My advice is
we go over there right now,

and if shit's as fucked up
as I think it is over there,

we need to initiate a plan
of complete and total execution.

Annihilate the specters.

What do you say?

- Yeah, so, urn,
I talked to the guy, uh,

George recommended,
the exorcist.

- What did he say?

Well, he couldn't really say
much without seeing the place,

of course, but...
based on what I told him,

he does feel that the beings
are malignant, so...

- Really?

So he didn't agree with Joey.

- No. In fact, he knows Joey
and thinks he's full of shit.

So, I don't know.

I was thinking maybe
I'd go up there Monday with him,

take a closer look,
stay, work the week,

and you and Jazz
can meet me on the weekend.

- Do you really think
that it's necessary?

- Necessary?

I don't know.

But it'll put me at ease,
you know?

And he'll just look around,
tell us what he thinks,

and then we can
make an informed decision.

- Okay-

Okay, you go get
your second opinion,

and we'll figure it out.

- Thank you.

- This one's clean.

Are you kidding me, dude?

- Whoa.

Crazy vibe in here.

Whoa.

Not trying to, uh,
destroy your whole house.

I'm just... need to get
in there, see what's go-

Ah, shit.

These are the paintbrushes
they manipulated?

- Yeah, those three right there.

They tossed one,
made that mark there.

I bet they did. Assholes.

- And then they made a triangle
out of all three, which is...

- Whoa.

Very impressive.

So these are your,
uh, paintings?

- Yep-

- You kind of do a black circle

and then with colors around it?

- Yeah. I mean,
there's more to it than that,

but, uh... are you into
art at all, or...

- I guess I am enough, you know,

to wonder what's
going on with these.

- Okay. Um...
- Well, basically

I started thinking about
the first moment of life.

The light comes in,
and your eyes fill with light,

and it's like this
circle of white

coming into the darkness,
you know?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I follow.

- So, basically
I started thinking,

"What's the inverse of that?

What's the opposite
of being born?"

- So blacked-out circles.

Anyway, enough
of the art jibber-jabber.

Let's, uh, get back to work.

So, just to fill you in,

the energy
is definitely in here.

- Well, yeah, I mean,
that's what Joey said.

- Urn, hold on a second.

Actually, the energy's out here.

- Is Mexican beer okay?

- Absolutely.

Dan, I think we're
dealing with an E.F.D.

- What's that?

- Evil Fully Determined.

- Evil?
- You think they're evil?

- Oh, most definitely.

I mean, it's evil,
it's aggressive-

- Uh, Joey said there were two.
Two ghosts.

- Yeah. I mean,
that makes sense, actually.

I mean, it's-

A baby and a dog
can sense ghosts.

It's not that hard.

It's grading the ghosts
that's difficult.

Anyway,
I don't think there's anything

too out of the ordinary here,

but I need to be
straightforward at this point

as a professional.

It is going to take a while, uh,
a few days at the very least,

and it's not gonna be easy.

- Okay, well, I-I'm gonna
have to talk to my -

my wife about it first,
because we said

that we would discuss it
before we made a decision, so...

- Yeah.
- I mean, get Mommy's permission,

but let's get this shit
figured out ASAP.

- It sounds a little
melodramatic,

don't you think?

- Sweetie,
I think you're getting...

I think you're getting kind of
caught up on the word "evil."

Evil is just his way
of saying it.

- I just...

I don't feel like there's
anything bad there.

Can you just wait
until I'm up there

and we can talk
about what to do?

- Darling, the man
is here right now.

I'm looking at him,

so I'd like to, you know,
take some action steps.

- Sometimes I just think
that you have too much

respect for your fear, honey.

- I have respect for
supernatural entities

that I see with my own eyes.

It's fucking scary.
You know, I don't...

- But just because
you're scared,

that doesn't make it scary.

- okay-

Maybe we should table this,
because I'm...

I have a very strong,
diametrically-opposed

point of view
on the matter, so...

- Yeah, okay.

Well, we'll just talk about it
when I get up there.

- okay-

- Okay.
BYE-bye.

- Bye.

- Os.
- Oh, hey.

- What'd she say?

- She's into it.

- A lot of ghosts, Dan,

are stuck between
the living and the dead.

It's for various reasons,
of course.

Some are suicides,

where they slit their wrist

and then right after were like,
"Never mind."

Well, guess what.

I mean,
you don't get that luxury.

You know, you did it,
and you're dead.

But most ghosts just miss the
carnal delights of being alive.

You know,
stuff we take for granted;

Sex, food,

especially stinky food
like these stinky fishes.

Wine,

like a fine Merlot,
such as this.

When they come to sip and bite,

I catch the fuckers in my boxes,

and they're trapped
forever like rats.

Now, the outer two boxes
have been triple-blessed,

but the middle box, Mama Bear,

cursed by a priest.

- I didn't know that
priests did curses.

- Most won't,

but if you get deep enough

in the Sub-regions
of the Vatican,

you'll find priests
more than willing to do it.

Not a lot,
but they're out there.

- So how did you get into this-
- Shh.

We have to be quiet now.
Come sit by me.

Now, what'd you ask me?

Just, um...
how did you get into this?

This seems like
an odd line of work.

Says the
painter of death circles.

- Um... how did I
get into ghost hunting?

I, uh... I saw Satan.

- You saw Satan?

- Yeah.
- Straight up saw the goofball.

He was, uh...

just there, you know?

I was young.
I was lying in bed.

I looked towards the window,
and there he was,

just staring at me.

- What did he look like?

- Just classic.
- You know, horns, red,

urn, cat eyes,
which surprised me.

Fangs-a lot of
Halloween-y stuff.

- That's... crazy.

Telling me, dude.

Like, completely confirmed to me
that the spirit world is real

and that going to church
with Auntie Betty and...

and kneeling down
by your bed at night

to pray isn't enough.

You know, I mean, we're at war.

Don't let anyone
tell you differently.

We are at war.

Yeah, I mean,
that doesn't really line up

with my worldview,
but I can see-

- Your worldview.

I mean, this isn't
a, uh, NPR roundtable.

Worldview.

Speaking of worldview,
Danny boy,

mine's getting a bit too crisp
and a bit too dainty.

Why don't you,
uh, top me off here?

- Urn, do you...

Should we be drinking this much?

- Seems a little-
- Oh, hell, yeah.

No, I drink all the time
when I'm ghost hunting.

Okay.

It helps, you know, ease...
ease me into it,

relaxes me,

gives me a bit of
a childlike view on things,

helps me see ghosts,
to be perfectly frank.

- All right, well, in that case,
I say we make a toast... Shh.

- You fucking see that?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Holy shit.

- Holy shit.
- Holy shit. Holy shit.

What do we do?
What do we do?

Os, what do I do?
Os!

- We're gonna need a garbage bag!
- Okay!

- Get another garbage bag!

- Don't let it touch your body.
- Okay.

- Keep it away from your body.
- Okay.

- It has to be
at least 15 inches.

Okay, bring it over.

- Gently.
- Uh-huh.

- Just lower it down.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- Get out of here.
- Uh-huh.

Bam!

- That's it?

- That's it!
- One down!

Yeah!

- Wow.

- Want to go get a cheeseburger?

Thank you for the burgers.
They're good.

- You're welcome.

They are good burgers.

Hey.

- Hey. Sorry.

I can't sleep so good.

- What is that thing?

- It's my Nic-Nip.

I'm quitting smoking,

and this gives me
a little nip of nicotine.

- All right,
I'm going back to sleep.

- Cool.

Hey, there he is.
Good morning.

Want some, uh, eggs and bacon?

- Yeah, sure.

- There you go, sir.
- Thank you.

- Oh, whoa!

- Oh, yeah.
- I put, uh, some alcohol in it.

Gotta keep the buzz going
for the, uh, ghost hunting.

- It's a little too early
for me for that.

- Oh, come on, man.

This is your, uh,
vacation home, you know?

Time to relax.

- All right.
- Fuck it.

I haven't had an Irish coffee
in, like, 15 years, so...

- God, I haven't
had one since...

yesterday.

Seriously.
Cheers.

So, um,
there's not much we can do,

uh, during the day,

as far as the whole
ghost trapping is concerned.

Um, you know, I was thinking
maybe we go downtown

and, uh, do something?

Maybe go to a store
or go hiking?

- Oh. You know,

I was actually gonna get
some painting done today.

- Oh, okay.

Yeah, that's cool.

Um, I'll just, uh...
I'll do something alone.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

My fucking wife's divorcing me.

Can you believe that shit?

- Well, urn, what happened?

- Cats.

My cats.

I just...
I kept getting more and more,

and she was like, uh,
"One more, and that's it.

I'm gonna leave."

And I was driving home,
and I saw this tabby...

and, uh...

you know, what-what
are you supposed to do?

It's just sitting there.
It's shivering.

It's sitting on the side
of the fucking road.

Like, what kind of man
would lea-

So I, uh...

I bring it home,
and she said, "That's it.

I'm gone,"

and, uh, she split.

- Well, dude...

You know what?
There is a silver lining.

I mean, look at it this way.

You can now do
whatever you want.

I mean, you can date
whoever you want.

- Yeah, but it's...
- it's hard to meet people.

I, uh...

I fucked this
purple-haired girl,

like, the day after
my wife left.

- Great.

But since then,
it's been, like, zero, nothing.

And that purple-haired girl

won't even return
my texts anymore.

- Forget the purple-haired girl.

There's so many
other girls out there,

like, with different
colored hair;

Blondes, brunettes...
anything you want, dude.

I... I kind of envy you.

You get to go out
and-and go wild.

It's awesome.

- Dude, this is exactly
what I needed.

You know? This shit.

God, you're smart.

- That's nothing. I...

- You got this perspective
that a lot of people don't have.

- Well, that's what
friends are for.

- Well, thanks, buddy.

I appreciate it.
Seriously.

- Yeah, of course.
- It's nothing.

- Good luck.
- This looks good.

You know, ghosts aren't stupid.

They catch on really quick.

You can't use
the same trap twice,

so this time, we're using light.

Nah, that's gonna make me sick.

So, uh, earlier,

I took a look at one of the
paintings you're working on.

I think you're right, man.

There is something, you know,
just innately deathlike to them.

You know, it's really cool,
really cool.

- Yeah, maybe.

Uh...

- What'd I say?

- I'll be honest with you, man.

They're just fucking circles.

Wh-what about
that big death rap

you told me before?

- Made it all up.

I did a show with them
20 years ago,

and it sold out.

People started
wanting to do interviews,

so I had to figure out
what the paintings meant

retroactively.

You came up with all
that shit afterwards?

Yeah.

- Dude, that's fucking cool.

- I mean, I actually
started painting them

- because of Jazz, so...
- Oh, yeah.

- The rhythms
kind of inspired you.

- No, no.
- Jazz, my son.

- Jazz.
- Oh.

- Me-me and Mary were super
young when she got pregnant.

I just finished art school,
and I was thinking,

"Fuck, you know,
how do I support a family?"

You know, I needed to figure out
a way to support my family.

So then, like, two weeks
before Jazz was born,

I started, like, falling into...

painting black circles.

20 years later, here we are,
and I'm the black circle guy.

C'est la vie.

- It's cool, you know.
- It's a story from your life.

You know, that's cool.

I don't usually
say this to my clients,

but, urn, I think there's
something really special

going on here, you know,
more than just work.

You know, I think...

I think it's kind of
the start of a friendship.

Do you-do you feel that?

- Yeah, man.
- I think you're cool.

- I think you're cool, too, man.
- I think you're warm.

Seriously,
you have so much charisma

and a great persona.

I wish I was like that.

I wish I was more like you.

You know?

Listen, I, uh...

since we're, uh,
doing the confessional thing...

That whole story
about the Devil,

you know, being outside
my bedroom window?

That was bullshit.

- What?!
- You didn't see Satan?

- Well...

I mean, do you-

Do you want to hear
the whole story?

- Yeah, sure.

- You sure?
- It's pretty gnarly.

- Yeah, man, lay it on me.

Well, when I was younger,
like a teenager,

urn, I was pretty fucked up.

You know, I did a lot of drugs.

I ran with this
bad group of boys,

really bad souls.

We'd break in to businesses
and beat up people,

push down drunk girls.

- Wow.

- And we were hanging out
with these three hot girls,

the Garcia sisters.

Everybody wanted
to fuck the Garcia sisters.

Anyway, we were all drinking,
like, a lot,

and I had been doing
a bunch of pills.

And that night, we break
in to this funeral home,

and, uh, Ronnie, he was
kind of the leader of our gang,

starts fucking around with,
like, this dead body.

And he starts moving his lips.

He's like, "Anybody know
which way to the graveyard?

Is Metamucil on sale?"

You know, just stupid shit,

and, like, the Garcia girls
were eating it up.

You know, they were, like,
"Oh, gross,"

but I could tell
they thought Ronnie was cool.

You know, they-they thought
he was being brave.

So I guess that maybe
I was jealous or what,

but I started moving this
old lady's arms up and down

and being, like,

"Has anyone seen my piano?

Where's my little Casio?"

And, urn, yeah, so Ronnie unzips
this poor old man's zipper

and pulls the guy's dick out

and starts ticktocking it
back and forth, you know?

And...

there was, like, a staple
in his dick for some reason.

Anyways, it gets, you know,
weirder and weirder,

and we just try to one-up
each other more and more.

And, uh... and I don't know
why I did this.

I like to think, you know,
it was the drugs

or what have you, but I just...

reach down into this poor
dead lady's eye sockets

and pop her fucking
eyeballs like zits.

And the eyeball juice
just goes everywhere.

I mean, it was the
grossest fucking thing

I've ever done in my life.

You know?

Just... I have no idea
why I did it.

It was so disgusting.

- Well, like, did this lady
haunt you or something, or...

- I Wish.

I wish it was that easy.

So the Garcia girls take off,

and my buddies and I decide
to go to Denny's and drink.

And we sit down in the booth,

and I notice on Ronnie's cheek,
there's a piece of eye,

you know, like a lens
from that lady's eyeball.

And so I grab the piece
of the eye off of his cheek

and run into the bathroom,
and I just flush it down,

and when I get out of the stall,
there's this...

beautiful, hot woman
in a tight red leather dress.

You know, red lips, black hair,

and before I could
even wash my hands,

she comes over to me
and grabs my dick and says,

"I saw you out there,
little strong man.

I saw you out there,
little boy."

- What'd you do?

Before I could do anything,
she's like,

"Let's go back
to my big mansion,

and I'll fuck you."

- Seriously?
- Seriously.

- So we go out
to the parking lot,

and right before my eyes
is a brand-new,

beautiful white,
uh, Lamborghini Testarossa.

She floors it all the way
to the mansion,

and she sucks
and fucks my brains out.

Like, shit that I had never
done before or after,

and, like, very, very
satisfying stuff.

Before the sun comes up,
I get dropped off at home,

and I pass out.

The next day, I get on my bike,

and I ride over to
where the mansion was,

and it's a vacant lot.

It was gone.

I... I never saw
that lady again.

- Do you-do you
think it was a dream?

- Well, I don't know.

Can a dream give you gonorrhea?

Because she gave me gonorrhea.

Or should I say, he did?

Because I didn't fuck
a lady that night.

I fucked the Devil.

- Ah!

' Us!

- Wh-What is it?

- I saw her.
- Where?

- My room.

- Ooh, I feel her.

I feel her, Dan.

I feel you, you shifty beast!

Show yourself!

Come out, asshole!

- You don't see her?

- No, but I feel her.
- I feel her in spades.

- What do we do now?

- Bury this.

Os?

- Can I come in?

- Uh, yeah.

- Hey, urn, sorry about that.

I...- I didn't think
you would be up.

I had to get naked
to feel the energy

of the living room
on my bare skin.

- Okay-

- And I fell into a trance,

so, yeah, sorry.

- Uh-huh.

- Bacon and eggs?

- You feel anything?

- Oh, hell yeah.
- Tons of stuff.

Little mini-histories and shit.

But, uh, not them.

God damn.

- Uh, is that stuff
gonna stain the wood?

- No.
- It's just tap water.

Whoa.

- What is it?

- This thing has got
a funky, funky energy.

You-You attached to this?

- No. It's just a rock
my son found.

- You don't happen to know
where he found it, do you?

- I do.
- It's from Chipmunk Rock.

- Take me there now.

- What are you looking for?

- Oh, I'm not looking
for anything.

I'm feeling for something.

- Hmm.

- You don't feel this?

Oh, God.

- Is there anything
you need me to bring

when I come up tomorrow?

- Uh, you know, it's funny
you should ask, babe.

I'm thinking I might
just come back to L.A.

I'm kind of sick of it out here.

- Okay.

Is something wrong?

I mean, you've been
acting weird all week.

- No, everything's fine. I'm-It's just-
- Dan, dinner!

- Who was that?
- Nothing. Can I-

- Can I call you back?
- Okay.

- I'll just see you tomorrow.

- Okay.
- Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Dan, come on!
- It's getting cold.

Shit. God damn it.

Damn it.

Shit.

- Hey, man, so I think I'm
just gonna sit this one out.

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm bushed.

We were up talking
pretty late last night.

- You don't want to see
this ghost trap?

It's my favorite.
It uses magnets.

- No, I'm-I'm tired.
- I'm gonna turn in.

- Okay, man.
- Good night.

- Get the fuck out of here...

What do you want?!

Come out, you stupid lazy bitch!

Leave my friends alone!

Huh?
What do you want?

Huh?! Huh?!
What you need?!

Ah, I know what you want.

You want some fucking
sweet stuff, don't you?

Fuck.

There you go, you stupid bitch!

Drink my wine,
you goddamn whore.

Come out!

Get the fuck out of here,
you stupid fucking devil.

Come on!

Come out now,
you stupid, lazy bitch!

Get the fuck out of here.

- No, no, no, no!
- Get out of here!

- Get out of here!
- Dan!

- Os says out!
- Os says out!

- That's right!
- You tell that bitch!

- Os says out!

' Open up!

- Dan, are you okay?!

- She's gone.

- What the hell happened?
- She's gone.

- Man, I woke up.

She was standing right here,

and then I just started
screaming, man.

I forced her out.

- Did you hear me?
- Yeah, man.

- You were screaming
like a fucking banshee.

- I said, "Os says out.
- Os says out,"

and then she just
started backing,

backing toward the window.

And then she flew up
into the sky,

and-and then she just, like,

- disappeared into a twinkle, man.
- Holy shit.

- She's gone.
- Ho ho.

- Two done, none left.

- We're done.
- No, that's... Hold on, though.

- The work is... The work... I mean,
let's not get ahead of ourselves.

- I think you're right.
- Man, I know I'm right.

- I think we got 'em.
- I think we did it.

- I think we did it.
- I know they're gone, man.

- Ho ho! Yes.

- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Let's celebrate.
- Sure.

- Canned wine?

Been saving this stuff
for a special occasion.

- What the hell is it?

They used to send this stuff
to the G.I.s,

some of the rarest,
finest wine you could get.

My sisters and I found a

half-dozen of these
in my grandpa's garage.

The wine guy told me
he'd give me 250 a can.

- Oh.

Man, I feel bad
drinking your special wine.

- Oh, no.

I mean, I think right now
is a perfect time for wine.

Seriously.

Like, spending these last few
days with you, you know,

chilling, catching some ghosts,

making a friend.

Like, I needed it.

Seriously dude,
you know I really needed this.

So share a can of wine with me.

- All right.

God damn, that smells strong.

- Told you, dude.
- That stuffs for the G.I.s.

- Um...

- How 'bout
we start this shit off

with a shot of Hennedone?

- Yeah, I'm just gonna
start with the wine.

- All right, chicken.

Are you sure this
isn't gonna kill us?

- No.

I think it might, actually.

Cheers.

- Oh, wow, that is pungent.

Oh.

Okay, enough. Enough.

Enough. That's enough.

My sisters and I
used to do that.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Drove my mom nuts.

I'll stop.

- I'm starting
to like this wine.

I can tell, dude.

- It's good shit.

Ah, fuck, I am so glad

that we got those ghosts
out of your house.

I mean, it feels good to do
something right for a change.

I mean, you're never sure

if this type of thing's
going to work.

It's basically an intuition.

Truth be told,

sometimes I don't really know
what the fuck I'm doing.

- You seem like you know
what you're doing to me.

- Thanks, man.

I just never know
if it's going to work.

I like you, man.

- I like you, too, man.

- What would you say if, uh...

- What?

- I don't think
you would go in for it.

- Ha. What?

- What would you say
if you and I...

got...

a stripper?

♪ Can't leave the party ♪

♪ Don't know then ♪

- Kiss me.

- No.

Stop.

- How much do I have
to pay you to kiss me?

- I'm not gonna kiss you.

- Why not?
- Just kiss me.

- You can suck on my titty.

- I don't want to suck
on your titties.

I like you.

Like, I really like like you.

Come on.

- I'm not gonna kiss you.

I know.

I know what.
I know what.

I know what.

- What?

- Listen, I'll-

I'll give you the ring.
It's gold.

If you just lay with me
and make out with me

for three minutes.

- I can't.
- I have a boyfriend.

- Come on.
- That's a lie.

- I do.

I'm done.

Please go.

Get off me.

- Okay, baby-

Anything else?

- Um...

No, I'm good.

- Okay, well, money.

- Poor bastard.

You want some coffee?

- Uh, yeah.

I just had the most
fucked-up dream.

Really has me worried.

- L-I mean,
I wouldn't worry about it.

People dream
crazy shit all the time.

- Yeah, but...

I- I haven't been to
a strip club since I was 16.

You know, it's just
not something I do.

I'm not really into that.

- You seemed pretty
into it last night.

- I don't even remember
last night.

I have to be honest with you.

I think something
possessed me last night.

- Really?
- You think-

You think you were possessed?

- I mean, I know
we buried the dude...

but the old lady, I mean,

she could have
flown out the window

and zipped right back in
and into me.

I feel like I need
to stay here today.

- Nope.
- You don't need to.

I mean, it's gone.
We're done.

I mean, I can feel the energy
in here. It feels lighter.

I mean...

It feels good in here, you know?

- It'd just be really
irresponsible of me

to leave things
how they are, so...

- I just-I feel like
I've spent all the money

I'm gonna spend on this issue.

- Today is free.

- But my family's
coming tonight, so...

- I'm fine with that.

Shouldn't be more
than a few hours, so...

- Okay. Okay-

- okay-

Hey, man.
What's up?

- Just working.

- Did you find anything?
- No, not yet.

- I was just seeing if you
wanted to grab a bite to eat.

- You know, actually I have to
go into town for a work lunch,

but, I mean, I could bring you
something back, if you want.

- Nah, that's fine.

I'll get something here.

- Okay-

Hey, man, look, urn,
if you haven't found anything

by time I get back,
I think we're-we're good here.

- Good?

- Yeah. I-I think we're done

with the whole
ghost double-check.

- Yeah, just,
you know, as a friend,

can you just please
let me really dig in here?

You know, let me do my thing.

- Os, we're done.

- Why are you being like this?

I mean, do you even
think of me as your friend?

- Os, we-we really
just sort of met each other.

- I mean, we've been together
four, four and a half days.

You know, entwined.

That's something.

- Os, you know, to-to have
a friendship with someone,

it needs to build over time,

and there's lots of-

Do you-
You know what I'm saying.

- Whatever, dude.

I...
Don't worry about it.

I'll just keep working.

- All right, well,
I'm gonna grab lunch,

and, urn, I'll be back in a bit.

- Yeah, well, you want
to know what I did

with your wedding ring, huh?

You want to know where it is?

I fed it to
a fucking prostitute!

Fuck!

- No, no more ghosts.

You know, I think it was
a one-time thing, you know?

You know, I can't wait
'till you guys get here.

- Hey, I'm sorry.
- I didn't mean to say that stuff.

I really shouldn't have said it.

Uh, just please call me back.

Okay?
Love, Oscar.

Oh, uh, P.S.,
don't do this divorce.

Os says go.

Ah! Fuck!

- Oh, what the fuck?

Os, what the fuck
are you doing?!

- Fuckin' chopping it.

It's still fucking tainted.

- This is an antique.
- This was my grandmother's.

God damn, man.

Fuckin' out of your mind?

- Fuckin' bad news.

- God damn it, dude.

- I'm sorry.
- I just-

New shit has come to light,
and I had to act.

Point blank,
there's a third ghost.

- Look, Os,
it's the same ghost, okay?

I made up the thing last night
about scaring the ghost away.

It didn't happen.

- What the fuck, man?

You got me spinning in
a goddamn house of mirrors here.

Why'd you lie to me?

- Because I'm just-

I'm uncomfortable with this,
you know,

With-With all Of this.

- Why?
- Is it 'cause I was naked?

- Yeah, frankly, and I just-
- Dude, that was for a reason.

- People are naked
all the time for a reason.

- Look, I just started thinking
about what Joey said,

and I agree.

I don't think the ghosts
are causing any harm here.

Harm?

- You mind talking about harm?

How 'bout possessing
your firstborn son?

Jazz!
I'm talking about Jazz, Danny!

I just... I think we've done
all we can to the ghosts.

- We're not done.

I mean, we've barely just begun.

- I think we have to be done.

- Listen to me.

You know I only have
your best interests in mind.

The least you can do
is give me two minutes.

- Just two minutes.
- Okay, Os.

- What'd you figure out?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Now, you said that your family
bought this land, like,

- a long time ago, right?
- Yeah.

- Okay, now, is it
too much for me to assume

that you and Mary
would make love up here,

you know, out in a tent
or what have you?

Yeah, that probably happened.

- Bingo.
- I fucking knew it.

Now those paintings,
the mysterious

uh, circle paintings,
you started painting those

when Mary was
first pregnant with Jazz,

and-and you said that the idea
came to you in a flash, right?

- Nope. I never said that.
- I know where you got that idea.

- You got that idea from Satan.

- Os, I think I've heard enough.

- I want you to leave.
- Dude, think about it.

- The paintings, the thousands
of paintings that you did

while your little precious boy
was sleeping next to you.

They're not just circles,

they're a portal,

and when Jazz came home
from Chipmunk Rock,

he was carrying not just a rock,

but a key that unlocked that
portal that you been painting.

- Os, I want you to leave, okay?

- Why aren't you
listening to me?

I fucking figured it
out for you.

God, your son
is possessed by a demon,

- possibly Satan himself, dude.
- I don't care. I don't care.

- I don't care if there
are ghosts here, okay?

This my home.

I don't like the way
you're talking to me.

I need you to leave.

- Do you understand what I'm saying?
- This is bigger than that!

- It's bigger than us!

This is about Satan!

This is about being
at the front lines of Hell

and not-not backing down!

Dan, where are you going?!

- Leave!
- Leave my home!

- No.
- I am not abandoning my post.

- Leave!
- No!

Okay, let's take a breather.

Sorry.
I got a little passionate.

You know, I feel very
strongly about this, buddy.

But, I mean,

imagine you're in bed
with your wife,

and you're cozy, and you wake up

'cause there's some
discomfort in your butt

and you look up,
and it's your son,

and he's got his thumb
jammed up your asshole

singing, "Hello, Daddy.
Hello, Daddy.

- Hello, Daddy."
- Go. Go.

- Go on.
- Oh, you want to get physical, you fuck!

- How many push-ups
can you do?!

Seriously, how many fucking
push-ups can you do?

Huh?
You motherfucker.

Oh, 911?
Real mature, man.

- Hi. I have a hostile
person in my home

who refuses to leave.

- Dude, let me get my shit.
- I'm going.

- 2432 Buttermilk Road.

- Dan, please, I'm going.
- I'm going.

I'm sorry.
I'm fucking sorry.

Seriously.

I thought we were on
to something great here.

- Uh, actually, never mind.
- He's leaving on his own.

No, that-that's not necessary.

Okay. Sorry.

Thank you.

- Dude, can you give me a hand?

Seriously.

Come on.
I'm leaving.

You're getting
what you want, dude.

Please?

Okay, on the count of three.
1, 2, 3.

Oh, yeah.

- Okay, swing it around.
- Okay.

- Ow, ow, ow.
- What?

- Jesus Christ.

What the hell is this, Os?

- Don't be afraid, dude.
- This is just my holy cowl.

It kind of keeps the ghosts out.

- What are you doing?

- Uh, right now...
- first things first.

I'm destroying the portal.

I don't want any more
bad guys to slip through.

- You're destroying
my paintings?

- Yeah.

The great collaboration
with the Devil? Over.

- I think that you're
imagining all of this.

- And you, Mr. Material World,

are gonna tell me
what's real and not real?

I see more than you, asshole.

I mean, you're just
one of his fucking pawns.

You're a black pawn.

I'm a white knight,
motherfucker.

I'm gonna make all this shit
go away for you.

Now, your wife and son
get here in 2 1/2 hours,

and when they do,

I am gonna cast
the devil out of him,

and all will be well
with the world.

- Help!

Help me!

- Fucking...
- Help-

- No tummy ache?

- No. I've been eating wheat
more lately, anyway, so...

- Then maybe you're done
with your allergy.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Not have to worry
what you're eating right now.

Mom!

' Dad!

Dad!

- Os, no!

No! No!

No! No!

- Hello, old friend.

- Oh, my God.

Mary!

Mary!

Os, what are you doing?

- Shut up, Dan.

- What's going on?

Mom!

Dad!

MOW.!

Help! Help!

MOW.!

MOW.!

Help!

What are you doing?

- Hi, Jazz.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Oh God

Give me power

Give the power to me

Take me down
and give me the power

To take down the Devil

Take the Devil down
to the river ground

And watch him drown

Watch the Devil drown

- Help!

Help!

Help me!

Help!

- Jazz!

It's Dad!
I'm right here!

- Help!

- Jazz, everything's
gonna be okay!

I'm here!
I'm right here!

What are you doing with my son?!

- Shut up, man!
- This is my show now.

God.

God and I are running this shit.

Look who's waking up.

Mary, hello.

Uh, my name is Os.

I am a ghost killer,
demon fighter, etc.

Uh, your husband hired me
to rid your home of E.F.D.X.s,

but in the process, I discovered

that your entire family,
yourself included,

are being haunted,

uh, manipulated by Satan
in order to create a vessel

for either himself
or one of his top black angels.

Now, I don't want
you to overreact,

but that thing
is inside your son.

Just let me talk, okay?

- Will you behave?

Or are you gonna
act like a baby?

I'll behave.

Who are you?

- I want you to have some wine.

Drink it.

Got to drink it all.

This is nice...

Just two old friends
sharing some wine.

Now I have something
to say to you, demon.

You get out of this boy,
and leave him alone

or I'm gonna drive you out.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Why are we fighting?

I mean, seriously,
this could be so easy.

Just jump out of him.

- What do you want me to do?

- Drink.

Yeah, chug it down, bubba.

- Tell me you're the Devil.
- I'm not the Devil.

- Tell me you're
the fucking Devil.

- I'm not the Devil.
- I'm not. I'm really-

- What is your name, demon?!

- Jasper Papadakis.
- A.K.A. Jazz?

- Yeah.
- No!

- Mm-hmm.

In the next room,
all these women and more

are waiting there just for you.

They're warming each other up,

and they're waiting
to lick your cloven hoof.

Just come out of the boy.

Just come out of him.

All right.

Let's take it up a notch.

What the fuck
is your name, demon?!

I am gonna drag your ass
down to Chipmunk Rock

and bury you back to Hell,
where you belong!

You are a ward of this boy,
not me!

I'm not Satan.

- You leave me no choice.

45 pricks of the blessed needle!

- No, please.
- Why f-forty-five?

-1,2,3,4,5.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Get out of him!

Get the fuck out of my boy!
Now!

Fuck!

Just come out!

Fuck!

Hello.

- Father Jones?

- What's up, Os?

- I have the
black angel trapped.

And I know what I need to do

to cast him back to Hell, but...

I don't want to do it.

What should I do?

- Kill Satan.

Os. Os.

Os, let us go, man.

I'm gonna bury him.

- Os! Os!

Os! Os! Os!

- Fuck.
- Go in.

Fuck.

Why-Why is he doing this?

- He's a crazy man.
- He's a madman.

- Damn it.

If that's how you want it, Devil,

so be it!

So be it!

- God damn it.

You had to be so...

Why?

- Jeez.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

- Oh, God.

Mary, hold on.
Wait, sweetheart.

- Okay.
- Wait, sweetheart.

- Get me out of here.
- This fucking thing.

- All right.

Okay. Okay...

- You got it?
- Gonna get you out of here.

- Okay.
- I'm gonna get you out.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Shit.

- Just go.
- Just go to Jazz.

- I'll do it. Just give it to me.
- Okay.

- Give it to me.

- Lo, from the valley of God,
you shall not!

One cannot!

- Jazz, talk to me.

Jazz.

- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah, that's it.

That's it.
That's it. Breathe.

- Dan!
- Dan, no!

Dan!

Okay. Don't worry, baby.

They're coming.
They're coming.

You're gonna be okay.

Don't worry.
They're coming.

- Hey, man.

Uh, could I borrow a cigarette,
please?

Please?

♪ Take it easy Little Lucifer ♪

♪ You got a lot of work to do ♪

♪ Don't go get
yourself developed ♪

♪ Yeah, it looks good for you ♪

♪ Why don't you eat
some brimstone ♪

♪ Be yourself for a while ♪

♪ For Hell ls very humid ♪

♪ Life is now in style ♪

♪ Take it easy Little Lucifer ♪

♪ You've gotta be my friend ♪

♪ Why don't you be a lawyer ♪

♪ Have you got some
advice to lend? ♪

♪ I'll pay the
price you ask me ♪

♪ And I'll sweat while
feeling your stove ♪

♪ Just get me through tomorrow ♪

♪ And I'll forget life above ♪

♪ I'm talking Praising Lucifer ♪

♪ I'm taking back
all I've said ♪

♪ I don't want to live
with you, friend ♪

♪ I don't want a fiery bed ♪

♪ For the moment,
please excuse me ♪

♪ While I check out my clothes ♪

♪ Take it easy... ♪