Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,008 --> 00:00:01,031
- Synced & corrected by L0tech -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,716
Our work on
converting the Vampiric Council
3
00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:10,120
into a vampire nightclub is...
4
00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:11,624
not going well.
5
00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:14,496
Stop the work! Stop the work!
6
00:00:14,506 --> 00:00:15,832
The custodian of this
7
00:00:15,842 --> 00:00:18,029
wonderful raw space is being something
8
00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:20,742
of a total harpy in my ass.
9
00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:22,268
Continue the work.
10
00:00:22,278 --> 00:00:23,346
Continue the work.
11
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,117
Ignore her, keep working.
12
00:00:25,127 --> 00:00:26,696
My voice reigns supreme.
13
00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:29,349
I have been in charge
of this sacred reliquary
14
00:00:29,359 --> 00:00:30,654
for hundreds of years.
15
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,699
You can't just dismantle it all.
16
00:00:32,709 --> 00:00:34,440
We're not dismantling anything,
17
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,511
- we're just moving things around.
- Oh.
18
00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:39,013
There is a very
specific filing system here.
19
00:00:39,023 --> 00:00:40,120
Which is?
20
00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:42,451
Which is everything
stays exactly where it is
21
00:00:42,461 --> 00:00:44,322
and nothing gets moved or changed ever.
22
00:00:44,332 --> 00:00:45,625
Are you sure you don't want to protect
23
00:00:45,635 --> 00:00:47,878
your precious books by putting them
into storage
24
00:00:47,888 --> 00:00:50,602
so they don't get damaged
by my blood sprinklers?
25
00:00:50,612 --> 00:00:52,290
Blood sprinklers?
26
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,640
No, no, no. This is not right.
Put it all back.
27
00:00:54,650 --> 00:00:56,446
You can get fucked. This took hours.
28
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,851
Oh, I wasn't talking to you.
29
00:00:59,763 --> 00:01:01,356
What the fuck?
30
00:01:01,366 --> 00:01:02,802
Fucking wraiths.
31
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,933
Anything you can do,
32
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,107
my wraiths can undo.
33
00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:12,734
This conversation is over.
34
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,862
Cute.
35
00:01:51,872 --> 00:01:53,281
Which one's yours?
36
00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:54,940
I...
37
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,409
do not own a dog.
38
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,430
I only come here to speak to you.
39
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,646
Oh.
40
00:02:00,656 --> 00:02:02,545
My search for a new wife has...
41
00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:04,616
not been going so great.
42
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:08,360
I used to have 37 beautiful wives.
43
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,427
But that was hundreds of years ago.
44
00:02:10,437 --> 00:02:12,331
Now I have no one.
45
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,378
But I have a plan.
46
00:02:16,182 --> 00:02:20,615
I secretly smuggled back
850 pounds of ancestral treasure
47
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,686
from Al Qolnidar.
48
00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:24,972
I thought my ancestral treasure
49
00:02:24,982 --> 00:02:27,361
would make a very impressive dowry.
50
00:02:27,371 --> 00:02:29,365
But it seems,
51
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:30,888
for modern women,
52
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,473
it's just not enough.
53
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,076
I am not a creep.
54
00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:37,582
I'm just a very powerful
and ancient warrior
55
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,496
who wishes to marry you.
56
00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:43,603
So I'd like you to come back to
the basement of my mansion and...
57
00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:45,832
examine my massive dowry.
58
00:02:45,842 --> 00:02:46,867
Hmm?
59
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:48,637
So, here I am,
60
00:02:48,647 --> 00:02:50,361
surrounded by all...
61
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,645
my secret treasures
62
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:55,852
but without a wife to share them with.
63
00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,470
And, yes,
64
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,258
I have kept my secret treasure secret
65
00:02:59,268 --> 00:03:01,930
from even my housemates.
66
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:05,043
No one will ever know
the precious riches
67
00:03:05,053 --> 00:03:06,305
- that I have hidden deep...
- Master?
68
00:03:06,315 --> 00:03:07,742
What the fuck? Guillermo?
69
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,481
How did you get in here?
The door was locked.
70
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,519
Wh... How long have you had
this secret room for?
71
00:03:12,529 --> 00:03:15,290
Whoa. Look at all this stuff.
Is this stuff real?
72
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,860
Sure, just come on down
to my secret treasure room,
73
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,296
why don't you? Don't touch that.
74
00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:19,666
- Ow.
- Of course it's real.
75
00:03:19,676 --> 00:03:21,603
The aggravations are endless.
76
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:25,010
I am paying a full crew
of workermen to do nothing.
77
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,549
- You know what I think this stairway needs, Tobe?
- What's that?
78
00:03:27,559 --> 00:03:29,452
Hey, I bet they do
a shiplap accent wall.
79
00:03:29,462 --> 00:03:31,456
- Watch.
- A shiplap accent wall.
80
00:03:31,466 --> 00:03:34,261
Man, come on, these guys have,
like, two go-to moves at best.
81
00:03:34,271 --> 00:03:35,932
No, that's where you're fucking wrong.
82
00:03:35,942 --> 00:03:38,336
Bran and Toby choose to use shiplap
83
00:03:38,346 --> 00:03:41,342
because it has the perfect
amount of artistic flair
84
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:42,812
for any aesthetic.
85
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,683
Also, not a budget-buster.
86
00:03:44,693 --> 00:03:46,587
Did you want to do shiplap
on this wall?
87
00:03:46,597 --> 00:03:48,657
- Where?
- Just, like, right over here?
88
00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:50,561
Well, if you've got some.
89
00:03:50,571 --> 00:03:53,333
Every time I persuade
the workermen to work,
90
00:03:53,343 --> 00:03:55,938
The Guide and her wraiths undermine me.
91
00:03:55,948 --> 00:03:57,675
- Hey. Hey!
- Whoa, whoa!
92
00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:04,486
I told Nadja it wasn't safe for
her crew to be working here, but...
93
00:04:04,496 --> 00:04:05,992
she doesn't listen.
94
00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:10,434
I have tried using the carrot,
as one does
95
00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:11,946
with a stubborn donkey,
96
00:04:11,956 --> 00:04:14,708
but now it is time for the stick!
97
00:04:15,349 --> 00:04:17,347
I must ask you about some of the things
98
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,454
I overheard them saying
when I was working in, um,
99
00:04:20,464 --> 00:04:23,694
England at the Supreme Vampiric Council.
100
00:04:23,704 --> 00:04:24,926
Oh.
101
00:04:24,936 --> 00:04:27,769
Did they speak about me
and my dedicated work here?
102
00:04:27,779 --> 00:04:29,583
- I shouldn't say, no.
- Oh.
103
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:31,610
Okay, I'll tell you.
104
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,415
Yeah, so, some of them
were definitely saying
105
00:04:34,425 --> 00:04:36,052
that they think that this branch
of the Vampiric Council
106
00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:38,624
is very much stuck in time,
107
00:04:38,634 --> 00:04:41,329
and that the real estate
would probably be more valuable
108
00:04:41,339 --> 00:04:43,488
if they leased it out to a...
109
00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:45,347
CVS Pharmacy.
110
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:47,297
Who said that?
111
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:49,378
The main one.
112
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,559
- Dark Lord Tyrantus?
- Yes.
113
00:04:50,569 --> 00:04:52,571
The Liquidator of Underlings?
114
00:04:54,053 --> 00:04:55,404
Him... that's him.
115
00:04:55,414 --> 00:04:57,361
Uh, okay, uh...
116
00:04:57,371 --> 00:04:58,841
What do I do?
117
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,601
Okay!
118
00:05:00,611 --> 00:05:02,639
Let's do this! Uh...
119
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:05,410
Wraith meeting! Wraith meeting!
120
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:08,116
Hey, uh, stop injuring crew workers
121
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:11,107
and assemble for an
official wraith meeting.
122
00:05:11,117 --> 00:05:12,907
All right, that's the last one.
123
00:05:17,127 --> 00:05:18,659
Yes.
124
00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:20,641
Ah, yes.
125
00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:23,948
Any woman in ancient Al Qolnidar
would throw herself at my feet
126
00:05:23,958 --> 00:05:26,052
if she knew I had a spoon like this.
127
00:05:26,062 --> 00:05:29,024
Well, most modern women have
access to spoons already, so...
128
00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:31,062
We live in a time of miracles.
129
00:05:31,072 --> 00:05:32,166
No.
130
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:34,368
What's this?
131
00:05:34,378 --> 00:05:36,540
- Oh, just a djinn lamp.
- A what?
132
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:37,779
A djinn lamp.
133
00:05:37,789 --> 00:05:39,411
Like in the old stories.
134
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:42,819
You-you rub it and a magical man
comes out and grants you wishes.
135
00:05:42,829 --> 00:05:45,423
Oh, a genie lamp.
136
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:46,827
It is a djinn lamp.
137
00:05:46,837 --> 00:05:48,831
Uh, the ancient tales
say it is magical,
138
00:05:48,841 --> 00:05:52,037
but like most of the ancient
tales, it is all horseshit.
139
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,486
- Well, then rub it.
- I rubbed hundreds of djinn lamps
140
00:05:54,496 --> 00:05:56,994
as a child, nothing ever happened. See?
141
00:05:57,299 --> 00:05:58,517
Nothing.
142
00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:00,420
Well, did you ever rub it
counterclockwise?
143
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:02,492
Eh, rub, rub, rub. See? Nothing.
144
00:06:03,804 --> 00:06:05,006
What is happening?!
145
00:06:07,077 --> 00:06:08,403
You rubbed it a hundred times
and never thought
146
00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:09,706
about rubbing it the other way?!
147
00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:11,710
We are about to die,
and this is what you want
148
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:12,789
your last words to be?!
149
00:06:16,863 --> 00:06:17,958
Okay.
150
00:06:17,968 --> 00:06:19,526
It stopped.
151
00:06:19,536 --> 00:06:21,807
- Hey.
- Hey, yo...
152
00:06:22,842 --> 00:06:25,103
Oh, hey.
153
00:06:25,113 --> 00:06:26,650
Are you a djinn?
154
00:06:27,135 --> 00:06:28,226
Yes.
155
00:06:28,236 --> 00:06:29,478
You don't look like a djinn.
156
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:31,425
- You can't say that.
- I just did.
157
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,453
Thank you all for coming.
158
00:06:33,463 --> 00:06:36,593
Would you like me to explain
what we require of them?
159
00:06:36,603 --> 00:06:37,996
No, I'll handle it. I'm just waiting
160
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,566
for the rest of them to get here.
161
00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:41,468
I don't want to say it twice.
162
00:06:41,478 --> 00:06:43,574
Um...
163
00:06:43,584 --> 00:06:46,145
I say, exactly
how many wraiths are there?
164
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,449
So, so many. And so many of them
165
00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:50,588
are habitual stragglers!
166
00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:52,457
Mm.
167
00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:54,161
Okay, I guess they're all here.
168
00:06:55,908 --> 00:06:57,869
- Hear me, my wraiths!
- Yes...
169
00:06:57,879 --> 00:07:01,843
For today we embark on a new mission.
170
00:07:01,853 --> 00:07:03,881
Oh.
171
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:07,689
Now, many changes will be
made to this building.
172
00:07:07,699 --> 00:07:11,462
And your duty heretoforth is to help
173
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,032
the human workers...
174
00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:15,638
- Help.
- And to not harm the human workers.
175
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:17,909
- Don't harm them.
- Am I understood?
176
00:07:17,919 --> 00:07:19,646
Yes...
177
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,250
All right.
Now we will organize ourselves
178
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:25,507
into work squads,
and within those squads
179
00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:28,664
- we will decide who does...
- Ooh, sorry, this is not the john...
180
00:07:30,511 --> 00:07:32,905
Wait.
181
00:07:32,915 --> 00:07:35,778
Ooh.
182
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,982
Uh, what did we just say?!
183
00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,935
Oh, no.
184
00:07:39,945 --> 00:07:42,492
I was worried about this happening.
185
00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:44,929
You see, the wraiths and I
have been together
186
00:07:44,939 --> 00:07:48,537
for so long that no matter
what I tell them to do,
187
00:07:48,547 --> 00:07:51,075
they know what my heart really wants.
188
00:07:51,085 --> 00:07:52,945
Well, maybe you should tell
your heart to think of some...
189
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,949
It's all right, my darling.
I think I can deal with this.
190
00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:58,518
So, logically you're prepared
for change,
191
00:07:58,528 --> 00:08:01,669
yet your inner,
uncontrollable emotions are resisting.
192
00:08:01,679 --> 00:08:03,583
Would I be right?
193
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,832
What?
194
00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:08,109
I think can fix her.
195
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:11,550
Psychology is considered to be
one of the newer sciences.
196
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,019
Isn't really new to me at all.
197
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:14,956
In fact, I was there at its conception.
198
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:18,342
I spent a few of my younger
years with Sigmund Freud,
199
00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:20,901
while he was using cocaine
and working on his theory
200
00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,805
that all neurosis is derived
201
00:08:22,815 --> 00:08:24,809
from what he called "hand envy."
202
00:08:24,819 --> 00:08:26,580
I remember taking
a steam bath with the chap,
203
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,184
and my towel accidentally dropped,
204
00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:32,658
and he caught sight of my rather
generous John Thomas.
205
00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:34,347
He shrieked "Eureka,"
206
00:08:34,357 --> 00:08:37,000
and then came up with "penis envy."
207
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,873
Or what I like to call
"wanting of the wang."
208
00:08:41,152 --> 00:08:43,279
So, how many wishes can you grant?
209
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,622
Do you wish to know?
210
00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:45,785
- No, don't...
- Sure.
211
00:08:45,795 --> 00:08:47,054
Well, it's 52.
212
00:08:47,064 --> 00:08:49,659
But you just used one, so it's 51.
213
00:08:49,669 --> 00:08:51,596
Don't wish it.
214
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:53,232
My first thought was,
215
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,971
I will just wish the djinn
to get me a new love.
216
00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:58,238
But then I remembered
217
00:08:58,248 --> 00:09:00,280
I had already found love.
218
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,754
I had 37 wives, and one of them,
219
00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:06,175
I specifically remember,
220
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,839
I really loved.
221
00:09:09,843 --> 00:09:12,370
I just cannot remember which one.
222
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,642
- Hmm...
- So, what was her name?
223
00:09:14,652 --> 00:09:16,880
It might have been a he.
They weren't all women.
224
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,118
- You could do that back then?
- Of course.
225
00:09:19,128 --> 00:09:20,688
Some of my wives were girl wives,
226
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,224
some of them were guy wives.
227
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:23,704
It's not that different.
228
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:26,098
- Hmm.
- I cannot remember the name,
229
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,702
but either he or she had
230
00:09:27,712 --> 00:09:29,304
very long, dark hair.
231
00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:31,610
28 of them had long, dark hair.
232
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:33,981
Hmm. I want to say Becky?
233
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:35,127
- No.
- Hmm.
234
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:36,696
How about Dalal?
235
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,926
I think I remember him having
a very fun handlebar mustache.
236
00:09:39,936 --> 00:09:41,897
- There were three Dalals.
- Three.
237
00:09:41,907 --> 00:09:43,934
You know what? Just bring them
238
00:09:43,944 --> 00:09:45,329
all back and we'll figure it out.
239
00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:47,174
I don't think that's the most
efficient way to deal with...
240
00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:48,720
Uh, is this your wish?
241
00:09:49,273 --> 00:09:51,348
Yes. This is my wish.
242
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:55,290
I wish you to bring back
all 37 of my dead wives.
243
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,793
Very well.
244
00:09:57,939 --> 00:09:59,609
Oh, boy.
245
00:10:04,686 --> 00:10:06,680
Greetings, my wives.
246
00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:10,353
Hi.
247
00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:12,635
Nandor...
248
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:19,104
Yes, hello to you, too,
I want to say Mina?
249
00:10:19,114 --> 00:10:21,108
Miriam?
250
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:23,250
- Zahra.
- That's it.
251
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,916
I also wish for them all
to speak English.
252
00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:26,218
Fatemeh said you were going to return
253
00:10:26,228 --> 00:10:27,755
- when the moon was next full.
- Did she?
254
00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:29,324
But we waited three full moon cycles,
255
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:30,928
- and guess what. Nothing.
- Oh, three? Sorry about that.
256
00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:32,230
Which is very disrespectful
not just to me
257
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,700
- but to my father...
- Let me go check
258
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:34,793
and I'll get right back to you...
259
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,716
Give me one moment! Uh,
everything will be normal soon.
260
00:10:41,726 --> 00:10:44,054
- How long must I stare at the...?
- I don't know.
261
00:10:44,064 --> 00:10:45,991
How long, Nandor?
262
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,394
Okay, so it's definitely not her.
263
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:49,331
Guillermo, I'm going
to need you to install
264
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:51,101
37 bunk beds in the attic.
265
00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:53,139
Open!
266
00:10:53,149 --> 00:10:54,474
- Keep going.
- I've been watching over
267
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:57,013
this building for hundreds of years.
268
00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:01,055
I'm so intertwined with it,
I feel any changes physically,
269
00:11:01,065 --> 00:11:02,925
in my own body.
270
00:11:02,935 --> 00:11:06,398
What, you mean, like something sexual?
271
00:11:06,408 --> 00:11:10,264
More like, if there is a brick
that gets chipped,
272
00:11:10,274 --> 00:11:11,743
I get a headache.
273
00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:15,216
If the steam pipes are backed
up, then I am also backed up.
274
00:11:15,226 --> 00:11:16,777
Nothing sexy.
275
00:11:16,787 --> 00:11:19,254
I'm just gonna ignore
most of that and put that down
276
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:20,995
to your female hysteria.
277
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:22,300
- Hmm.
- Moving on,
278
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:23,901
the thought of changing this building,
279
00:11:23,911 --> 00:11:25,629
how does that make you feel?
280
00:11:25,639 --> 00:11:27,007
Bad.
281
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:29,254
If anything gets changed here,
282
00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:30,981
something very bad will happen.
283
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,707
Could you give me an example?
284
00:11:32,717 --> 00:11:36,199
I just have an overpowering
"bad things will happen" energy,
285
00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:37,459
and it's flowing through me.
286
00:11:37,469 --> 00:11:39,986
Do you mean a sexual sensation?
287
00:11:39,996 --> 00:11:41,238
No, it's more like,
288
00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:42,904
when you enter a room...
289
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:44,876
- Keep going.
- But you have to take an even amount of steps
290
00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:47,314
because the floor will be bad
and then you tap the doorknob
291
00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:49,886
three times and you do it
all over again.
292
00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,649
You know, regular stuff.
293
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:01,475
Guillermo, now is not time
for shopping.
294
00:12:01,485 --> 00:12:03,279
My wives are hungry.
295
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,985
I know. This is the Uber Eats
order for your 37 wives.
296
00:12:05,995 --> 00:12:07,989
We've narrowed it down to 32 now.
297
00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:09,826
Well, what did you do with the rejects?
298
00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:10,995
Guillermo.
299
00:12:11,005 --> 00:12:12,932
Those beautiful, sensitive,
300
00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:15,804
poetic creatures are not rejects.
301
00:12:15,814 --> 00:12:17,808
They're just simply not
what I'm looking for
302
00:12:17,818 --> 00:12:20,280
- at this particular juncture, so we got rid of them.
- What?
303
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:23,352
- I-I don't kill them. I just make them dead again.
- Yes.
304
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:25,491
- Isn't that killing them again?
- No.
305
00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:27,962
He re-deads them. But in a nice way.
306
00:12:27,972 --> 00:12:29,999
And they go to paradise, don't they?
307
00:12:30,009 --> 00:12:31,251
Sure.
308
00:12:31,261 --> 00:12:33,439
We even came up
with a nice way of doing it.
309
00:12:33,449 --> 00:12:36,445
My sweet Nandor said
I'm supposed to ask you
310
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,951
for a special gold coin?
311
00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:41,088
Ah, yes.
312
00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:43,092
Come, come.
313
00:12:43,102 --> 00:12:44,562
So they never see it coming.
314
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,900
And there is no sadness or tears.
315
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,135
That sounds like murder.
316
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,183
I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
317
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:55,116
But, you know,
this isn't just a job to me.
318
00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:57,922
You know, I'm not clocking in
and clocking out.
319
00:12:57,932 --> 00:12:59,993
- This is who I am.
- Right.
320
00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:01,863
And if you don't mind me asking,
321
00:13:01,873 --> 00:13:04,936
who were you before... this?
322
00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:06,590
Well, I was, um...
323
00:13:07,573 --> 00:13:08,700
a...
324
00:13:10,051 --> 00:13:11,415
Well, I...
325
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,885
I can't remember.
326
00:13:12,895 --> 00:13:14,121
You've no idea, have you?
327
00:13:14,131 --> 00:13:15,858
I have no idea.
328
00:13:15,868 --> 00:13:17,394
Well, that is fascinating.
329
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:18,997
And if you will allow me,
330
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,266
I have a technique
331
00:13:20,276 --> 00:13:22,571
that could retrieve that lost memory.
332
00:13:22,581 --> 00:13:23,874
Will it hurt?
333
00:13:23,884 --> 00:13:25,286
Maybe.
334
00:13:25,622 --> 00:13:28,917
My dear Roshni, I thought
we'd do a little quiz.
335
00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:31,489
"34 Questions That Lead to Love."
336
00:13:31,499 --> 00:13:33,192
Question one,
337
00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:36,165
"if you could choose
anyone in the world,
338
00:13:36,175 --> 00:13:38,180
which three people
339
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:39,604
would you invite to dinner?"
340
00:13:39,614 --> 00:13:41,308
Well, for one,
341
00:13:41,318 --> 00:13:43,245
I would love to hear the Sufic poetry
342
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:45,884
of the great poet
Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi
343
00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:47,420
directly from his own lips.
344
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,559
Excellent choice.
345
00:13:49,569 --> 00:13:50,928
And next?
346
00:13:50,938 --> 00:13:52,965
I suppose my dear grandfather.
347
00:13:52,975 --> 00:13:55,470
A simple farmer but a very wise man.
348
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,340
Very nice, Roshni.
349
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:58,910
And finally?
350
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,581
- And then perhaps...
- Mm-hmm.
351
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:03,052
- Yes?
- Behrouz the Mighty.
352
00:14:03,062 --> 00:14:05,056
A most fearsome warrior.
353
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:06,268
A hero.
354
00:14:07,404 --> 00:14:08,997
- Behrouz?
- Yes.
355
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:10,476
- The Mighty?
- Yes.
356
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,607
Mm.
357
00:14:13,617 --> 00:14:15,276
Hi. Nandor said
358
00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:17,480
- you have a gold coin for me.
- Yes,
359
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,161
I do.
360
00:14:23,102 --> 00:14:26,065
You're walking down the corridor
of your mind.
361
00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:27,535
Can you picture it?
362
00:14:27,545 --> 00:14:29,337
- Yes.
- Good.
363
00:14:29,347 --> 00:14:31,341
You walk down that corridor
364
00:14:31,351 --> 00:14:33,513
and come across
an important-looking room.
365
00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:36,228
What does it say upon the door?
366
00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:37,912
"Storage."
367
00:14:37,922 --> 00:14:39,291
You open that door.
368
00:14:39,301 --> 00:14:41,095
What do you see inside?
369
00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:43,265
- Boxes.
- Boxes.
370
00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:44,401
- Mm.
- All right.
371
00:14:44,411 --> 00:14:47,006
You open one of the boxes.
372
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,409
What's inside?
373
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:51,048
Some smaller boxes.
374
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,653
And each one has a label on it.
375
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:56,091
And what does the label say?
376
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:59,164
- Even Smaller Boxes."
- "S-Smaller Boxes."
377
00:14:59,174 --> 00:15:02,003
Yes, I thought you might say
that. Let's get the fuck out.
378
00:15:02,013 --> 00:15:04,141
- Is this a bad time?
- I really can't talk right now, okay?
379
00:15:04,151 --> 00:15:05,677
- All right. Yeah.
- I'll call you back later.
380
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,414
Whenever you can. I really miss you.
381
00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:08,550
Yeah...
382
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,453
I know what everyone's thinking.
383
00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,992
I'm gonna be super jealous
of whoever Nandor's wife
384
00:15:13,002 --> 00:15:14,194
ends up being, but...
385
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:16,198
I'm really not.
386
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,402
I just want him to be happy.
387
00:15:18,412 --> 00:15:20,139
And...
388
00:15:20,149 --> 00:15:22,143
I'm in a very good place right now.
389
00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,459
As far as that's concerned.
390
00:15:24,469 --> 00:15:26,067
Because...
391
00:15:26,729 --> 00:15:29,234
that's all I will say about that.
392
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,432
All right. Special delivery.
393
00:15:33,442 --> 00:15:35,269
Got some dresses
394
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,006
- and shirts and all the...
- I was going to make Nandor
395
00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:39,082
a shank of lamb...
Do you know if he likes lamb?
396
00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,109
Um,
397
00:15:40,119 --> 00:15:41,616
I don't think he's really
into lamb, actually.
398
00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:43,720
- Can you take this infant away from me?
- No...
399
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:45,691
- He is exhausting me.
- Okay,
400
00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:47,227
maybe in a second, Darya.
401
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,563
Kind of have my hands full here,
all right?
402
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,066
Wow. It is so great to have a nice,
403
00:15:50,076 --> 00:15:51,703
nonthreatening male to talk to.
404
00:15:51,713 --> 00:15:53,172
- Okay.
- Isn't it?
405
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:54,484
What is your name, eunuch?
406
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:57,515
Well, it's Guillermo,
and I'm not a eunuch, so...
407
00:15:57,525 --> 00:15:59,619
- Close enough.
- Cover yourself up.
408
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:03,560
Continuing down
the corridor of your mind,
409
00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:06,231
- what do you see?
- Someone needs to clean it up.
410
00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:09,037
All right, apart from that,
do you see a door?
411
00:16:09,047 --> 00:16:12,243
- Many doors.
- Can you tell me what they say?
412
00:16:12,253 --> 00:16:14,291
- "Conversation Starters."
- All right.
413
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,718
Uh, "Favorite Looks Casual."
414
00:16:16,728 --> 00:16:18,255
"Favorite Looks Formal."
415
00:16:18,265 --> 00:16:20,092
"Shame... Do Not Open."
416
00:16:20,102 --> 00:16:21,461
Uh, "Box Storage Number Two."
417
00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:23,667
That might be a good one to get into.
418
00:16:23,677 --> 00:16:25,236
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
Back up a second.
419
00:16:25,246 --> 00:16:26,739
Did you just say "Shame"?
420
00:16:26,749 --> 00:16:28,209
Let's go in there,
have a bit of a poke around.
421
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:29,745
- The "Shame" door?
- Please.
422
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:31,114
Says "Do Not Open."
423
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,383
Well, fuck that. Just give it a...
424
00:16:32,393 --> 00:16:33,520
give it a hard push.
425
00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:36,336
Nope.
426
00:16:36,346 --> 00:16:37,963
- It's not budging.
- Right. Ah!
427
00:16:37,973 --> 00:16:39,364
What's that I hear?
428
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,501
The footsteps
429
00:16:40,511 --> 00:16:42,337
of somebody strong and powerful
430
00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:45,209
coming down the corridor
of your mind to help you.
431
00:16:45,219 --> 00:16:47,080
Do you see that person?
432
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,693
- Yes.
- Who is he?
433
00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:51,255
It's Guillermo.
434
00:16:51,265 --> 00:16:53,627
No, no, I said
somebody strong and powerful.
435
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,296
Do you see that person?
436
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,633
- Yes, that's Guillermo.
- -Really?
437
00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:58,402
Well, he's naked.
438
00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:00,239
- Hello, Guillermo.
- Uh, just get him to open the door.
439
00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:02,645
- He's naked.
- Can he open the door?
440
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,247
He's trying,
441
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,619
but his hands keep slipping
off the doorknob
442
00:17:06,629 --> 00:17:09,824
due to the oil
that he used to glisten up
443
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:11,395
his naked body.
444
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:14,100
Right. You know what?
I think I might take a break.
445
00:17:15,246 --> 00:17:18,409
Nandor's process is, uh...
446
00:17:18,419 --> 00:17:19,643
well...
447
00:17:22,126 --> 00:17:24,522
You have an impressive
and powerful physique, Kublai.
448
00:17:24,532 --> 00:17:27,270
I cannot wait to explore it.
449
00:17:28,242 --> 00:17:30,132
But I'm afraid...
450
00:17:30,142 --> 00:17:31,669
I am stronger.
451
00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:33,405
Even a very strong man like you...
452
00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:35,142
won't want to step on that nail.
453
00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:37,146
Nail?
454
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:40,253
Ah!
455
00:17:40,263 --> 00:17:41,789
You win, Kublai.
456
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,461
I may not remember my beloved's name.
457
00:17:44,471 --> 00:17:48,269
As your prize, you get
a very special gold coin.
458
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:51,904
But I do remember that
they never beat me at anything.
459
00:17:51,914 --> 00:17:53,954
Fucking Kublai.
460
00:17:53,964 --> 00:17:56,829
Okay, first things first, I'd say
the two Dalals are definitely out.
461
00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:59,511
They were humble
and an excellent listener.
462
00:17:59,521 --> 00:18:01,829
My sister, when she was
being courted by her husband...
463
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:03,900
Well, he didn't end up
actually becoming her husband.
464
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:06,471
- Mm-hmm.
- We were all certain they were to be wed, you know?
465
00:18:06,481 --> 00:18:09,745
I'd forgotten how many wonderful
stories you have to tell, Mina.
466
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,214
But he was also, like, a...
467
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,553
The love of my life was not petty
468
00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:14,822
or slovenly
469
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,074
or vain.
470
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:17,641
- Saddle up!
- Or manipulative.
471
00:18:17,651 --> 00:18:19,164
He's a naughty boy.
472
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:21,987
They never asked me
to shave off my beard.
473
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:24,642
Okay, she's a maybe.
474
00:18:24,652 --> 00:18:26,378
This guy I don't trust. This one
475
00:18:26,388 --> 00:18:28,215
never learned to read. I like her,
476
00:18:28,225 --> 00:18:30,587
but she's so much smarter
than me, so...
477
00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:31,833
see ya!
478
00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:35,764
They were warm
and wanted to be with me.
479
00:18:35,774 --> 00:18:37,868
You know, Behrouz the Mighty,
480
00:18:37,878 --> 00:18:40,641
all of his fearsome shit
was actually done by other guys.
481
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:42,645
My heart's desire was kind
482
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,482
and a good haggler.
483
00:18:44,492 --> 00:18:46,719
They never borrowed my boots
without asking me.
484
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:49,324
They were merciful.
485
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,459
And horny.
486
00:18:50,469 --> 00:18:53,465
And this, my dear Ramy,
487
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,604
is where the magic happens.
488
00:18:55,614 --> 00:18:56,906
Shall we?
489
00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:58,823
Could I get one
of those gold coins now?
490
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:02,216
My beloved had a sense
of spontaneity and fun.
491
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:04,755
Nandor, what are you hiding?
492
00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:06,526
Ah!
493
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:09,230
H-Hey! No, wait! Come back!
494
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,934
- Where you going?!
- No.
495
00:19:10,944 --> 00:19:12,144
Come back!
496
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:13,439
It's just a lobster!
497
00:19:13,449 --> 00:19:14,775
Leave me alone.
498
00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:16,546
Wait!
499
00:19:19,294 --> 00:19:21,288
That was adorable.
500
00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:24,227
Nasrin! Nasrin!
501
00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,697
Hey! Don't be afraid!
502
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,503
Nasrin! Hey.
503
00:19:28,513 --> 00:19:30,239
Where are you going?!
504
00:19:30,249 --> 00:19:32,511
Do not fear him!
We are about to kill him anyway.
505
00:19:32,521 --> 00:19:35,282
Oh!
506
00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:36,652
Shit.
507
00:19:37,998 --> 00:19:39,391
Whoops.
508
00:19:39,401 --> 00:19:40,827
Yeah, she's dead.
509
00:19:40,837 --> 00:19:43,308
It is a process.
510
00:19:46,715 --> 00:19:48,018
You were meant to look
511
00:19:48,028 --> 00:19:49,862
You can't just let him wander off.
512
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,816
Here, boy!
513
00:19:51,826 --> 00:19:53,520
He's not a dog. He's a child.
514
00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:55,256
Why are you so grumpy
these days, Guillermo?
515
00:19:55,266 --> 00:19:57,260
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe 'cause I'm exhausted
516
00:19:57,270 --> 00:19:59,464
from feeding and taking care
of your 37 wives.
517
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:01,411
Actually, we're down to seven now.
518
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:05,486
- Little baby Colin!
- Colin? -
519
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,348
Oh, wow.
520
00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:10,554
This little rascal really likes
521
00:20:10,564 --> 00:20:12,423
to hammer holes in the wall,
doesn't he?
522
00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:13,827
Between taking care of your wives
523
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:14,895
and making sure this poor child
524
00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,499
- doesn't die...
- Hey!
525
00:20:16,509 --> 00:20:17,735
In this death trap of a house,
526
00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:19,304
I haven't slept in weeks.
527
00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,609
- Colin, give me the hammer.
- Hey! Shit.
528
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:23,713
Do you know that I've missed
my mother's birthday party
529
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,861
three years in a row?
530
00:20:24,871 --> 00:20:26,418
No. Why would I know that?
531
00:20:26,428 --> 00:20:28,422
I would have to know that
it was your mother's birthday
532
00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:29,892
and also the things you do.
533
00:20:29,902 --> 00:20:31,428
I-I really am glad
that you want to find a wife,
534
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,465
and I think it's cool. I really do.
535
00:20:33,475 --> 00:20:34,735
- I'm cool with that.
- Oh, good.
536
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:36,506
I'm so glad you are "cool" with that.
537
00:20:36,516 --> 00:20:37,631
But I already have a family.
538
00:20:37,641 --> 00:20:40,446
And one that I don't see because I spend
so much time taking care of you guys,
539
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:41,716
I don't take care of myself.
540
00:20:41,726 --> 00:20:43,887
I think he has fallen asleep.
541
00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:45,490
I think your story bored him.
542
00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:49,809
Only kidding, Guillermo.
543
00:20:50,777 --> 00:20:52,370
Eesh.
544
00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:53,673
We've had a breakthrough.
545
00:20:53,683 --> 00:20:56,011
This job isn't my job.
546
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,781
It's my punishment.
547
00:20:57,791 --> 00:21:00,720
She'd locked away her most
shameful and sordid memories
548
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,658
for so long that she'd forgotten them.
549
00:21:02,668 --> 00:21:04,995
- I was a bad vampire.
- Yes.
550
00:21:05,005 --> 00:21:06,666
I was sloppy.
551
00:21:06,676 --> 00:21:08,035
I was wild.
552
00:21:08,045 --> 00:21:10,941
I was a moth to the danger flame.
553
00:21:10,951 --> 00:21:12,778
I led the Inquisition.
554
00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:15,349
I danced the Dance of the Seven Veils.
555
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:16,686
Without the veils.
556
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:17,921
Top work.
557
00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:19,658
I was, simply put,
558
00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:21,762
- extra.
- It's true.
559
00:21:21,772 --> 00:21:24,434
And we finally got
to the bottom of the, uh,
560
00:21:24,444 --> 00:21:26,639
naked, glistening Guillermo business
561
00:21:26,649 --> 00:21:28,853
that's been lurking in her tawdry mind.
562
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:31,916
Don't stop. This is getting good.
563
00:21:31,926 --> 00:21:34,488
The final straw came,
564
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:37,795
the ultimate messiness for a vampire...
565
00:21:37,805 --> 00:21:41,034
when I slept with a vampire killer.
566
00:21:41,044 --> 00:21:42,403
Shit.
567
00:21:42,413 --> 00:21:43,506
No.
568
00:21:43,516 --> 00:21:44,619
A Van Helsing.
569
00:21:44,629 --> 00:21:45,801
No.
570
00:21:45,811 --> 00:21:46,852
Yeah.
571
00:21:46,862 --> 00:21:48,583
I knew it was wrong
572
00:21:48,593 --> 00:21:49,919
when I did it.
573
00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:51,689
There's something about his kind...
574
00:21:51,699 --> 00:21:54,394
The danger, the depravity.
575
00:21:54,404 --> 00:21:56,933
Will this climax be
the end of my story?
576
00:21:56,943 --> 00:21:58,670
And what a way to go.
577
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,609
His fingers
that could wrap around my neck.
578
00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:04,147
All right. Leave this with me.
579
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,051
What? Are you fucking insane?
580
00:22:06,061 --> 00:22:08,121
No. No way.
581
00:22:08,131 --> 00:22:09,792
It's every young boy's fantasy.
582
00:22:09,802 --> 00:22:11,394
What's wrong with you?
It works, doesn't it?
583
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:12,965
- As if you could do any better.
- Just do it.
584
00:22:12,975 --> 00:22:14,969
Get her to stop talking
about that fucking building.
585
00:22:14,979 --> 00:22:17,608
She clearly has a weakness
for your kind.
586
00:22:17,618 --> 00:22:18,810
She might teach you a thing or two.
587
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:20,479
Okay.
588
00:22:20,489 --> 00:22:22,818
If I do this, what's it worth to you?
589
00:22:22,828 --> 00:22:24,030
Name your price.
590
00:22:24,999 --> 00:22:26,626
I want to be
the nightclub's accountant.
591
00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:28,428
Why?
592
00:22:28,438 --> 00:22:29,565
Why not?
593
00:22:29,575 --> 00:22:31,679
This makes me suspicious a little.
594
00:22:32,848 --> 00:22:34,508
Well, do you want my help or not?
595
00:22:34,518 --> 00:22:36,979
Eh. I mean, we do, so...
596
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:38,883
- done deal.
- Okay. Well.
597
00:22:38,893 --> 00:22:41,722
Yeah, I've done a lot of things
for Nandor, Laszlo and Nadja
598
00:22:41,732 --> 00:22:43,091
over the years, but...
599
00:22:43,101 --> 00:22:44,628
seducing a vampire to do their bidding?
600
00:22:46,441 --> 00:22:47,466
That's a new one.
601
00:22:50,115 --> 00:22:52,644
Guillermo, I know why you're here.
602
00:22:52,654 --> 00:22:55,850
But the answer is no.
603
00:22:55,860 --> 00:22:57,588
Oh, come on.
604
00:22:57,598 --> 00:22:59,123
Don't-don't you think
a nightclub would be...
605
00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:01,629
a nice, fun change of pace for you?
606
00:23:01,639 --> 00:23:03,633
Yeah, sure. The nightclub's fine.
607
00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:05,069
I don't care about that anymore.
608
00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,872
- Okay, good.
- Yeah.
609
00:23:06,882 --> 00:23:08,141
No, it is our...
610
00:23:08,151 --> 00:23:10,012
forbidden love...
611
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,018
that I must squash before
it has a chance to blossom.
612
00:23:13,028 --> 00:23:14,889
Yes.
613
00:23:14,899 --> 00:23:15,991
Yeah. All right, well,
614
00:23:16,001 --> 00:23:18,462
nice doing business with you.
615
00:23:18,472 --> 00:23:19,815
I'm gonna go.
616
00:23:22,284 --> 00:23:25,644
We felt a passion for each other
from the moment we met, no?
617
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,816
Oops! I should have known
you had Van Helsing blood in you
618
00:23:28,826 --> 00:23:32,491
when I felt that tingling
in my most private of parts.
619
00:23:32,501 --> 00:23:33,760
Great. I'm gonna...
620
00:23:33,770 --> 00:23:35,630
- Ooh! Ooh!
- Oh.
621
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,636
Oh, my sweet, sweet Guillermo.
622
00:23:38,646 --> 00:23:40,573
My attraction to you
623
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:43,245
is a manifestation
of a longing for my past life,
624
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:46,485
when I was a naughty, dirty vampire.
625
00:23:48,566 --> 00:23:50,694
But that's not who I am anymore.
626
00:23:50,704 --> 00:23:52,631
Please tell me you understand.
627
00:23:52,641 --> 00:23:54,768
- No hard feelings.
- Okay.
628
00:23:54,778 --> 00:23:55,971
Now I'm gonna go,
629
00:23:55,981 --> 00:23:57,641
- and you're gonna stay.
- Bye-bye.
630
00:23:57,651 --> 00:24:00,580
Guillermo, can you find it
in your heart
631
00:24:00,590 --> 00:24:03,596
to be just... friends with me?
632
00:24:05,834 --> 00:24:07,059
Sure.
633
00:24:07,069 --> 00:24:08,596
I could use a friend.
634
00:24:08,606 --> 00:24:09,999
High five.
635
00:24:10,009 --> 00:24:12,804
All right. Then what are
we waiting for, huh?!
636
00:24:12,814 --> 00:24:14,541
- It's a good day.
- Where'd she get that from?
637
00:24:14,551 --> 00:24:16,111
Let's get this old shit out of here
638
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:18,081
and make a vampire nightclub!
639
00:24:18,091 --> 00:24:19,495
What are you gonna do with the hammer?
640
00:24:20,563 --> 00:24:21,589
Yeah!
641
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:25,597
As you can see, another patient cured
642
00:24:25,607 --> 00:24:27,801
and returned to perfect mental health.
643
00:24:27,811 --> 00:24:30,807
Yes, she seems very well now,
doesn't she?
644
00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:33,946
No charge.
645
00:24:33,956 --> 00:24:35,215
Well done, my love.
646
00:24:35,225 --> 00:24:36,284
Indeed.
647
00:24:36,294 --> 00:24:37,854
She's gone.
648
00:24:37,864 --> 00:24:39,157
What are we left with?
649
00:24:39,167 --> 00:24:41,227
I have found the one.
650
00:24:41,237 --> 00:24:43,966
We are engaged to be wed.
651
00:24:43,976 --> 00:24:46,104
This is Marwa.
652
00:24:46,114 --> 00:24:48,576
Hello. I am Marwa of Al Qolni...
653
00:24:48,586 --> 00:24:49,978
I mean, it was obvious all along.
654
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,983
You know, like, duh.
655
00:24:51,993 --> 00:24:53,686
Would you excuse me for one moment,
656
00:24:53,696 --> 00:24:54,722
please, my little pomegranate?
657
00:24:54,732 --> 00:24:55,991
Be right back.
658
00:24:57,838 --> 00:24:59,263
I was lucky enough to have
the best education...
659
00:24:59,273 --> 00:25:02,571
I always imagined my wife
with blonde hair.
660
00:25:02,581 --> 00:25:05,710
But my passion lied
in science and mathematics...
661
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,750
I think I was thinking
a little less platinum blonde,
662
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,754
little more, um, hint of red.
663
00:25:10,764 --> 00:25:13,125
I am most proud that my observations
664
00:25:13,135 --> 00:25:14,995
- of Jupiter and Saturn...
- Hmm.
665
00:25:15,005 --> 00:25:16,331
You know what? I think
666
00:25:16,341 --> 00:25:18,603
I prefer it just as it was
in the beginning.
667
00:25:18,613 --> 00:25:20,039
Using up a lot of wishes.
668
00:25:20,049 --> 00:25:22,043
Yes, I know, but let's do it.
669
00:25:22,053 --> 00:25:24,958
Nothing is too good
for my perfect wife.
670
00:25:25,927 --> 00:25:29,658
I am very lucky to have a man
of such intellect
671
00:25:29,668 --> 00:25:31,127
to share my life with.
672
00:25:31,137 --> 00:25:32,345
Mm.
673
00:26:22,974 --> 00:26:28,886
- Synced & corrected by L0tech -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
47016
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.