All language subtitles for The.Private.Lives.of.Pippa.Lee.2009.MULTi.720p.WEB.H264-FrIeNdS_track6_[eng]

Okay, all right, hold up.

Someone has to say
something nice

about my friend Herb tonight,
so I'm gonna give it a shot.

I have followed Herb Lee
my whole writing career.

I followed him through
three publishing houses.

I followed him
when he started his own.

It's embarrassing
to need your editor so badly.

That's how much
I followed this guy.

So I'm gratified to announce

that he has now followed me
to central Connecticut.

Thank you very much.

I didn't follow you.
I had three heart attacks.

This was a preemptive strike
against decrepitude.

Well,
whatever brought you here

to the beautiful
Marigold Retirement Community,

I just want to say
I'm glad that you're here,

right down the road
from my place.

And as long as Pippa
keeps making

that butterflied lamb,
I'll do anything, Herb.

I'll even caddy for you,
if that's what it takes.

That's fine, as long
as I don't have to play golf.

Okay, wait a minute.
Just wait. One more thing.

I just want to say
something else.

I have known Pippa Lee
for 25 years,

and I think that
I will never really know her.

She is a mystery, an enigma,

Giving, caring,
beautiful, intelligent.

The very icon
of an artist's wife.

- What are you talking about?
- No, you are.

And who precisely
is this artist

that Pippa's married to?

- Exactly.
- Exactly.

Yes, that's my point.
That's what it's come down to.

The one true artist's wife
left in the modern world,

and she ended up
with a publisher.

To Herb and Pippa
and their weird new condo.

Yeah, I just have got
three new poems.

Wonderful.

Well, if you'd ever like
to show them to somebody

who's nonjudgmental, I'd be
happy to take a look at them.

Really?
I would like that.

That would mean so much to me.

I really wish Sam
wouldn't keep saying

Daddy moved to be near him.

Mom, he's a satirist.

Anyway, nothing's gonna
put a dent in Herb's ego.

It's you I'm worried about.

It's time for dessert.

But, Herb, what is
the real reason you moved here?

Scaling down,
making life more simple.

I've liquidated everything
so that when I go,

Pippa and the kids
can get everything

and not give it
to the government.

I thought
you loved paying taxes.

I have to admit,
I actually like this house.

It's so easy.

Well, I'm glad
you feel that way, sweetie.

Though I can't help wondering
how many people have died here.

Your problem is,
you're too adaptable.

You're the adaptable enigma.

To be perfectly honest,

I've had enough
of being an enigma.

I want to be known.

Like many people,
I have lived more than one life,

so we're going to have to start
at the beginning.

Breathe. Breathe.

Shut up.

I see the head.
Come on, one good push.

Fuck you!

Good girl. Good girl.

My birth was marked
by several unusual occurrences.

First of all, I was covered
in fine blonde fur.

Why is she furry?

No, there's nothing
to worry about.

When a baby's this late,

it sometimes has time to grow
a little vestigial hair...

From the time
that we were monkeys.

I had a monkey!

I had a monkey!

You can expect to have
a beautiful baby girl.

The hair is just vestigial,
as I tried to tell your wife.

You know, I'm sorry
if it offends you, Father,

but we believe
that millions of years ago,

humans were covered with fur.

I know that.

So is it a baby or a pet?

Suky knew my condition

had nothing to do
with evolution.

It was all her fault,
because my mother had a secret,

her own little stash of sin.

How's my pal?

I'm okay.

Are you having a hard time
living here in Wrinklebury?

It's strange having
so much time on my hands.

This place
is so easy to maintain.

But there's gonna be
charity work I can find.

You want to move back
to the city?

We just sold our apartment.

Well, we can get another one.

Are you serious?

No.

I'm just having a hard time
thinking of this

as the end of the line.

I think it's sort of romantic-

starting all over,
just the two of us,

so little stuff.

Must you always look
at the bright side?

Can I get you anything?

Some carrot juice?

No, I'm fine.

What was that cheese
we had for lunch yesterday?

It was vacherin.

I was so excited to find that
at the market.

I love that cheese.

Once I lost my furry coat,
my mother was so relieved

that she became sort of obsessed
with my appearance.

She even took a drawing course
at the town hall,

the sole purpose of which
was making pictures of me.

Aw, sweetheart, you have
the most beautiful eyes.

I think God took
all of our best features

and put them on your face.

Don't you move.

Almost done.

Why, you little...
turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey.

Ouch!
Slap!

♪ - Teen baby, it's true ♪
♪ - Do-do, do-do-do ♪

She dressed me up as angels,
cowgirls, movie stars.

I was her prize possession.

♪ You're real, real cool ♪

♪ For you, I'm a fool ♪

♪ Teen baby, be mine ♪
♪ - Honey, I will ♪

♪ - Teen baby, be mine ♪
♪ - Honey, you know I will ♪

♪ - Baby, be mine ♪

♪ All of the time ♪

♪ - Don't you know ♪

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ Glad you're my date ♪
♪ - Do-do, do-do-do ♪

♪ - With me, you're great, ♪
♪ teen baby, be mine ♪

Who else has a key?

The cleaning lady.

But I really-

I can't see Miss Fanning
breaking in with a few friends

to have chocolate cake
in the middle of the night.

And the maintenance people?
You think it was me?

Do you think
I'm losing my marbles?

I wasn't saying that.
I wasn't...

- Hi.
- There she is.

Hey, cutie.
Hi, Daddy.

- You look great.
- Thanks.

Hey, Mom.
Hi.

Hi.

I'm starving.
Can I get the lamb chops?

You can get anything you want.

Do you want a drink first?
Yeah.

Ben says
he can't make it until later,

so we should just order
without him.

Okay.

Okay, these are just
work prints, but...

- My God.
- You get the idea.

That's incredible.
It's an amazing image.

Were you in a doorway?

Where were you
when you took this?

Yeah, I just waited there.

I mean, I knew
they were coming back, but...

That's incredibly powerful.

Look at this.

These are so... powerful.
These are wonderful.

Grace, this...

Were you alone
when you took these?

- No, we had a guide.
- You had a guide?

And I hitched a ride
with Giles Oppenheim.

With Giles Oppenheim?

- How'd you manage that?
- He kind of adopted me.

Did you hear
about that photographer

that got shot in Baghdad
last week?

You heard about the bomb?

- Ben, shut up.
- What bomb?

No, it's nothing.

Yeah, she was with
that Oppenheim fellow...

- Ben!
- And they heard the whistle.

And he wanted to go left,

but she saw an alley
towards the right,

and she pulled him towards it,
and that's when the bomb hit.

And they turn around,
and what do you know?

If they'd gone left,

they would've been smashed
to smithereens.

She thinks she's immortal now.

No, that's
a complete distortion.

Why can't you just ever
not say something?

I do not know.

Sweetheart, everybody knows
you're a killer,

but you got to be careful.

I mean, you have to use
your common sense out there.

I do. Dad, look...

There's no way
that I'm not gonna go back.

If you had seen what I saw,
you would feel the same.

You would want
to give these people

some sort of dignity.

Just be careful.

Anyway, I'm going
to Baghdad Saturday.

What's new with you?

I found a book, a real cash cow.

Since when do you say
"cash cow"?

Well, I never said it because
I never found one before.

What's it about?

It's about war
and romance and bad weather.

- Is it good?
- A certain kind of good.

Highbrow for lowbrows
or lowbrow for highbrows.

Perfect summer reading
for people

with multimillion-dollar
beach homes.

Used to be us.

Yeah, but we still
wouldn't have read this book.

So how are you, Ben?
How is your paper coming?

- It's fine.
- What's it about?

- The right to die.
- "The right to die"?

Or the right to kill.

♪ - Fee-fi-fo-fumma ♪

♪ Fo-fumma, fo-fumma ♪

♪ Fo-fumma, ♪
♪ fee-fi-fo-fumma ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo-wop ♪

♪ Fo-fumma, ♪
♪ doo-doo, doo-wop ♪

♪ Fo-fumma, ♪
♪ doo-doo-doo-wop ♪

♪ Fo-fumma, ♪
♪ doo-doo, doo-wop ♪

♪ - A sweet little kiss ♪
♪ when we embrace ♪

♪ A pretty little smile... ♪

Suky's energy was unflagging,

day and night...

In spite
of an apparently weak thyroid,

for which she took pills
at 7:00 each morning,

12:00 noon,
and 4:00 each afternoon.

I was the only one who knew
she was secretly pretending

to be in a commercial
half the time

I thought she was
absolutely perfect.

Mom, can I have
some more milk?

Mom?

Then there were days
when Suky shorted out,

like a run-down robot.

Eat up, kids.

I always felt my real mother
had disappeared

in those moments.

It scared me and made me angry.

I thought it must be my fault
that she was sad,

and it was up to me
to make her happy again.

I thought maybe you forgot
to say good night.

Her moods ruled my life.

My girl, my baby.

Hello, Dot.
Would you like some coffee?

No, I've already had some.

- This is my son, Ben.
- The lawyer?

Not yet.
Nice to meet you.

And Herb.
You've met Herb.

- Hi, Herb.
- Hey.

My Lord.

That's Mr. Swaggart.

He needed to go.

Have a seat.

You know, there are
other young wives here.

You see them jogging around.

Is everything okay?

Well, yes, we're- we're fine.

But my son, Chris...

In Utah?

- Yes.
- Right.

He might be coming... east.

Well, that should be nice,
if they would move near you.

Well, the thing is,

he's had some kind of crisis
with his wife,

and he's left her, and he's-

he's living in his car.

I just don't know what to do.

He was always sort of
half-baked.

You know what I mean?

You know, it's painful,
I know,

but sometimes you just
have to maybe accept

they are who they are.

I mean, I feel that
with my daughter.

You're right.

I knew
that I should come to you.

You- I just had a feeling.

He's living in his car?

Yeah, she said
he was half-baked.

I wonder what that means.

It's code.
It means half-wit.

Hello?

Hello, Marianne.

What? What?

No, tell him 45
is the absolute top offer.

Well, if he goes somewhere else,
he goes somewhere else.

Stop worrying.
Everything's fine.

You're doing a fantastic job.

Have a nice morning, Marianne.

God, that woman's
gonna drive me crazy.

Your blood pressure
went from 120 over 90

to 148 over 100
in that one conversation.

Since when did you become
a registered nurse?

A little appreciation
for your ministering angel...

Would you like to go in
and out of the doctor's office

every 15 minutes?

We got to change our number.

I need an office.
Can we get an office here?

What is the point
of having an office?

The point is, I spent 40 years
building up this company,

and they're crapping it up.

They're children there,
absolute babies.

That way, if I had an office,

I can be there
from 10:00 to 1:00.

I could talk to Marianne.
I could read my manuscripts.

And when I come home,
boom, I'm retired.

That way, when you and I
are together,

we're really together.

You had three
serious heart attacks.

Is that not enough for you?

Yeah.

- I got to go.
- Bye, sweetheart.

- Love you.
- See you.

Back home to Brooklyn.

Okay, sweetheart.
Thanks.

What's happening here?

Okay, if I'm losing my marbles,
so be it,

but I need proof.

How long before
he loses his mind completely?

The half-baked son is moving in.

Wonderful.

♪ - After the ball is over ♪

♪ After the break of morn ♪

♪ After the dancers' leaving ♪

Pippa!

Glad you could come by.

A little eye candy.

Thank you for having me.
That's for you and Dot.

I wish you would keep an eye
on Dot.

She's having a hard time.

I know she talks to you.

Well, sure.
Where is she?

He won't come out!

Can you believe it?

A 35-year-old man
hiding in his room

when his parents
are throwing a party for him?

I told her this was a bad idea.

It's right down the hall...

- Okay.
- Spare bedroom.

Get her to drink a Pepsi-Cola
or something.

Okay.

I'm not going out there.

You can go out there
for five minutes.

You've got to eat something.

Why are you crying?
Stop crying.

Yeah? Who is it?

It's Pippa Lee.
I'm looking for Dot.

Dear.

Hi, Dot.
Johnnie asked me to find you.

Well, look at me.

I can't go out there.

I'm Pippa Lee.

Chris.

Why are you putting that on?

I-I ironed you
that shirt I got you.

Excuse me, but there's
something I need to do.

Where are you going?

Where are you...

He was the sweetest little boy.

I mean,
you just can't imagine.

When you adopt,

you just don't know
what you're gonna get.

Look out!

Thank God she didn't fall in.

Amazingly, it took me 16 years
to figure out

what was behind
Suky's personality.

- She's taking Dexedrine.
- Who is?

Mom.

- What's Dexedrine?
- Speed.

That's why she never sleeps,
why she acts so weird.

Mom doesn't act weird.

Mom, why do you take this stuff?

These pills.
What do you take 'em for?

It's my medicine.

Can you put it back, please?

Chester told me it was speed.

Chester doesn't know
what he's talking about.

So what would happen
if you didn't take them?

I'd get fat,
like Grandma Sally.

Is that what you want?

You all want me to walk around
like some sick walrus?

No.

Why don't you just let me
do my work?

Better yet,
why don't you help me?

Why doesn't anybody around here
help me?

The cross is made up
of a vertical beam

and a horizontal beam.

The vertical beam points
to the sky, to the Spirit.

The horizontal beam is the line
of the Earth, of life on Earth.

That's what's so neat
about Jesus.

He wasn't just the Son of God.

I'd like to know
what you're really like.

- What do you mean?
- Without that stuff.

Stop being so overdramatic.

You're blowing this
way out of proportion.

So stop.

I don't care if you get fat.

It's my medicine.

Okay, fine.

Let's just hope I don't blow up.

Father, thank You
for this food,

for the gift of being together
as a family.

For these beautiful children
around me.

Suky's cold turkey
lasted exactly one week.

Who is the president?

Does anyone know
who the president is?

Boys, I think we all know
it's lawn-mowing day tomorrow.

Imagine a dinner like this
that went on for an entire year.

I know you two
have your hunting tags.

I know you're very anxious
to get out in the woods,

but we're not gonna do
any of that

until we've had gun safety...

She was taking
more and more of the stuff.

I never knew
who she was gonna be

from one minute to the next.

And I also would like someone
to take care of the gutters.

♪ - Can't you hear me calling, ♪
♪ calling ♪

♪ Calling for your love ♪

Excuse me. Pippa!

What is going on here, miss?

Mom, come dance with me, Mom.

Mommy, dance with me, okay?

I just need you
to dance with me.

Put your feet on, okay?
What is going on?

Put your feet on.
Come on, remember?

Mommy, I know
your little secret now, okay?

I totally did it.

What? What are you
talking about?

I'm high too.

Now we can both be high
together, okay?

You and me, Mom.

No, you took my medicine.
How much did you take?

I don't know.
It's okay, though, Mommy.

I love you. I love you.

Mom, I love you so much.

We just can't tell your dad
about this, okay?

Are you okay with this?

Yeah.

I am so... sick of you!

You!

I knew you were bad
from the day you were born!

You!
No!

She was never
going to back down.

She was never going to change,

even if it meant
dragging me down with her.

Herb.

Herb. Herb.

Herb! Herb, wake up.

It's me.
What?

- It's me on the video.
- Hold on, kid.

What are we talking about here?

The-the chocolate cake
and the yogurt.

I just saw it on the video.
It's horrible.

- It was you?
- She-

I was sitting on the floor,
eating like an animal.

Herb, I think I'm going insane.

Maybe I'm going insane.

Come here.

Take it easy.

Your being a sleepwalker
is a hell of a lot better

than me being senile, isn't it?

Of course it is.
Of course.

Anyway, sleepwalkers
are a dime a dozen.

You'll never get off
a murder rap that way.

My God.

Pippa Lee, right?

Hello.

You got a job already.

I'm working my way to the top.

It's a beautiful day.

I'm trying not to notice.

And a pack of Marlboro Lights.

- Costly habit.
- I don't-

Really, I don't smoke.
I just...

You don't work here at night,
do you?

I haven't yet.

Why do you ask?

I just- I just always thought

what a horrible job it would be
just waiting for someone

to buy-I don't know-
cigarettes or something.

Matches?

Please.

I'm sorry about
ducking out on you.

I'm not a big party person.

No, no, no,
I shouldn't have interrupted.

Actually, I don't need a bag.
That's okay.

And give your mother my best.

These strawberries
are so sweet.

These strawberries. So sweet.

Maple Bank Farm.

How's the book coming?

I'm a hundred pages in.
Who knows?

You know.

How do you know I know?

'Cause you always do that.

You pretend it's not gonna work
when you know it is.

I have an idea.

Why don't you finish
all my conversations for me,

since you know
what I'm thinking?

It'll save us all a lot of time.

Well, there's a good idea.

Do bats really get
in your hair?

Can you please just come up
with one thing

that isn't
a weird little cliché?

I think I left the lights on
in the car.

Aunt Trish
was the kindest person

I had ever known.

We can talk about it later.

Go get some rest.

Who are you?

I'm Kat.

This is my room.

I'm sorry.

No problemo.

Hey, did you sleep okay?

Who's Kat?

She's my roommate.

Listen, your parents are
gonna be here in a few hours.

What?

Honey, you have to deal
with them sooner or later.

As far as I'm concerned,
you can stay with me,

so long as you end up
with a high school diploma.

I know there's a problem
at your house.

You do?

No one else is gonna say it,
so I will.

You did good getting away.

Ta-da.

Okay, bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

See you tonight, Pippa.

Bye.

Aunt Trish...

We're a couple of black sheep,
you and me.

I'm not running away.

I'm just done, that's all.

But what does that mean,
you're done?

It means
I don't want to live with you.

So this is all my fault?

What's all your fault?

What you did to me.

I didn't do anything to you.

I'm done.
Don't you get it?

You're not even gonna
come home for Christmas anymore?

No, I didn't say that.
I...

Of course I will, Mom.

I just...

I think it's better
if I don't live there anymore.

What-

what did I do to you?

What did I do to you

to make you so secretive
and unhappy?

Nothing.

What did I do to you?

Please, Mom.

Please.

Don't be sad.

No, no, you don't be sad,
honey, honey.

My baby. It's okay.

I love you so much.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay, okay?

I can't.

I can't.
Pippa?

- I'm done.
- Pippa!

I promise.

I promise!

I would never go home
for Christmas or anything else.

I was free.

- Thank God.
- Chocolate?

I thought you'd left me.

I can't take it anymore.
He's such a prick.

Aw.

Sam can have
a mean sense of humor.

Look, maybe
if you laughed along?

I have been laughing
for four years,

and now I'm crying.

I think Sandra's
having an affair.

What makes you think so?

Well, she's talking
about splitting with Sam,

and she's terrified
of being on her own, you know,

and it just adds up.

Well, maybe she just wants you
to think she's having an affair

so you tell me and I tell Sam

and he starts
treating her better.

You really think
Sandra's that conniving?

It's what women are like,
a lot of them.

Conniving?

No, it's not conniving.
It's human nature.

It's survival of the fittest.

Need I refresh your memory?

Never mind.

I don't like this book.

I'm going to sleep.

I still think
she's having an affair.

By the way,
I think I found you an office.

- This is perfect.
- I'm so happy.

It only took two days
to get the furniture,

and I just thought
it would be great

to have a place
away from Marigold Village.

What's this for?

In case I get paper cuts,
drop a phone on my foot?

Old people bleed just like
young ones, sweetheart.

Well, why don't we get
an EKG for the corner,

we can get an oxygen tent
over there?

Okay, I'll leave you to it.

Thank you for this.

What a sweet woman you are.

He jumped right out at me.
I'm-I'm sorry.

Sweet Jesus...

- Is he yours?
- No.

- Hi. I'm so sorry I'm late.
- Hi.

That's a beautiful purse.
Thank you.

God, you look so beautiful.

What are you doing different?

It's the indolence.

I wish I could be peaceful
and good like you.

"Good"?

What is it?
I just...

It's over between Sam and me.

And it's just all
so completely,

completely messed up,

and I don't know what to do.

I...

I'm never gonna have
a normal life.

You can be married to anybody,

if that's
what you're worried about.

Anybody?

Marriage is an act of will.

I mean, I adore Herb,

but our marriage functions
because we will it to.

If you leave love
to hold everything together,

you can forget it.

Love comes and goes
with the breeze,

minute by minute.

But you make it sound
all so unromantic.

Pick any man over 50
in this room.

Either one of us
could be married to him.

Okay.
What about that one?

He just needs his routines,
that's all.

I bet if you anticipate
his needs

before he knows he has them,
he'll be docile as a lamb.

What-that one?

He needs a lot of praise,

but so long
as you stick your finger

up his ass while he's coming,

he won't give you
any trouble at all.

I'm kidding.
I was kidding.

I wonder if maybe I'm having

a very quiet nervous breakdown.

Did you get the boots?

Yes.
I mean, they're on hold.

But I got 'em. I did it.

Good. Good for you.
You deserve them.

Mrs. Lee?

I want some cigarettes.

What kind?

The white ones.

Marlboro Lights?

Pippa.

My God.

You're okay.

It's okay.

Would you like me
to drive you home?

Maybe you shouldn't
tell anyone about this.

I'll try not to.

You'll try not to?

It might slip out one day.

What?

I think I just figured out
what's so odd about you.

You can't lie, can you?

Okay. Well, thank you.

What's up?

Pippa, for Christ's sakes,
I'm not dead yet.

I'm sorry.

Aunt Trish's apartment
was a haven

after the hysteria
of my mother's household.

I fit in easily
with the two of them

but was secretly fascinated
by Kat,

maybe because she seemed
a little bit dangerous.

- Bye.
- Bye, baby.

So, chicklet...
boom, boom!

What's your favorite subject?

I don't really have one.

Well, what do you like?

Nothing in particular.

Must be good at something.

No.

For the record,
I think you're special.

Special how?

Special like I can't believe
you landed in my lap.

Almost makes me believe
in destiny.

Hey, come in.
Hey.

This is my friend Shelly.

Shelly, this is Pippa.

You were right. She's perfect.

Let's get this show
on the road.

So what do I do?

When I was
in the film business,

we never asked questions.

We just showed up
and let shit happen.

Just look at the camera

like it's someone you know
and don't like.

That's the secret.

Yeah, like that.

That's Kitty.
Who's Kitty?

The girl in the novel
she's writing.

That's what the pictures
are for.

Kitty is every woman's
wild side.

She's fearless.

Don't you wish
you were fearless?

I guess so.

Yeah, if you were,

you wouldn't cry every time
you hung up the phone

after talking to your mommy.

You'd forget the past.

Is that what you do?

I'm the girl from Pluto.

I'm a scary thing.

- Can we get doughnuts?
- Later!

Okay, this is the scene
where Mrs. Washington comes home

and finds you in her playpen.

Who's Mrs. Washington?

Mrs. Washington
is the woman

who owns the mansion
where you're at.

And one day, you come home,

and you decide to play
with her kids' toys.

Okay, so listen,
you have to be really upset,

so I need you
to think of something sad.

I'm just not really
feeling anything.

No?

Slap!

Okay. Let's go.

Come on, let's go.
Come on, Shell.

Is she gonna hurt you?

No, don't let her take the baby.

That's right.
That's your baby.

Good. Yeah.

That is perfect.

Yeah, now the spanking,
all right?

What?

It's just- it's pretend.

Is this good?

Go.

Christ!

- Sorry.
- No, I said pretend.

Sorry.

You all right?

You want to do it again?

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's do another one.

Whoops.

How do you feel, Kitty?

Yeah, that's right. Okay.

Pull the leash.
Pull the leash, that's right.

Go on, little puppy dog.

That's great.

I let those two weeks
of my life happen

because, in a way,
I felt I had no choice.

That's not quite true, though.

It wasn't coercion.

I liked the attention, and-
I don't know.

Anyway...

Aunt Trish came home sick.

That was the end of my stay
with Aunt Trish.

You slept late.

I'm sorry.
It took me ages to fall asleep.

Okay, I'm off.

See you at lunch.

Is there anything else
you want from the market

other than the apricot spread?

No.

What?

Ever since we moved
to the old folks' home,

you look younger and younger.

That's just 'cause
I'm not setting my hair.

Okay.

Chris?

I'm so- it's Pippa Lee.

I'm so sorry to disturb you.

I just-I forgot I'd left my car
at the convenience store.

I'll just wait out here.
Okay.

Your mother told me you're
going through a hard time.

You could say that.

Fired from my job
at the men's shelter,

I come home to find my wife

sitting on top
of my best friend.

That's bad.

Yeah, well, there's probably
a good reason for it all.

What?

I'm an asshole.

You are?

I don't know why.
I just always have been.

That tattoo you have
must have hurt terribly.

I tried to join
a Jesuit seminary once

when I was 17.

You were gonna be a priest?

Yeah.

But they rejected
my application.

Do you still have
that vocation?

Just the tattoo.

What made you lose your faith?

I just stopped believing
God was a mystery

you could nail down
with one book.

But by that time, my parents
had written me off as a fuck-up.

I was married to a Jesus freak,

and I was just as pissed off
at the world

as when I was a Christian,

which brings us
more or less up to date,

give or take a decade.

What are you thinking?

I was just thinking
that you seem like...

What?

Just that you-
you seem so bright.

It's a pity you never settled
on any real work.

It would make your life
so much easier.

Okay.

Well, thank you.
I didn't mean to offend you.

I suggest you go back
to that little life

you've puffed up for yourself.

I'm sure you're very happy
underneath all that anxiety.

You're right.
You know, you are an asshole.

Told you.

In the years
after I left Aunt Trish,

all I can remember
is fixes I got myself into.

♪ - I will love you ♪
♪ for a while ♪

♪ Just how long ♪
♪ I cannot say ♪

♪ Long before... ♪

♪ - It was a free fall. ♪

♪ - I'll be on my way, yeah ♪

♪ While there's fire ♪
♪ in your eyes ♪

Truth is, I took every pill
I could get my hands on.

It's no wonder
I can't remember any of it.

One day, I found out
my mother had died.

I tried to remain
as numb as possible.

That was my boyfriend, Jed.

No, it-it was Craig.

Craig was my boyfriend.

I can't believe you sold
a painting to Gigi Lee.

Wait, who is she, anyway?

She is an heiress,
collector, party girl.

She knows everybody.

She knows Andy.
Hey!

Hi, everybody.
Hi.

This is Sam Shapiro,
the novelist.

That material belongs
with the childhood.

I know, but I'm moving
back and forth in time.

It's-it's- it's liquid.

That's fine, but let
the sequences accumulate.

They're too staccato.

I'm exactly what looking for,
that kind of staccato feeling.

Hello.

Hi. Are you with our party?

Yeah, I'm with Craig.
You bought a painting from him.

Yeah.
This is Max. I'm Herb.

And you are?
Pippa Sarkissian.

What kind of a name is that?

English and Armenian.

Well, welcome.

You don't have a bathing suit?
Go naked.

Nobody's here.
Come on!

Come on!

I'm so happy to see you.

Listen, I want to organize
a show in Paris for you.

Have you been in Paris before?

That's fantastic.

What's going on?

Pippa.
Pippa Sarkissian.

Come here. Come.

Sit. Talk to us.

So, Pippa, what does
a free spirit like you

have for breakfast usually?

Does she look like
she eats breakfast? Come on.

Do you?

No.

That's your first mistake
of the day.

So what do you do-
first thing in the morning,

you get up,
you go to the studio?

I don't have a studio.

You got to be an artist,
dressed like that, come on.

Well, what do you do?

I work in a clothing store.

You have no ambition?

Do you realize no one has ever

walked through
that front door before

without having
some kind of ambition?

The butler is writing
a short story.

He told me so himself yesterday.

I'm gonna get a drink.

You want a drink, Pippa?

Get me another one of these.

I will. I'll be back.

This is the most amazing house
I've ever seen.

It's not a house.
It's a mausoleum.

There isn't one comfortable
piece of furniture

in the whole place
except this couch.

It's like living in an aquarium.

Then why do you live here?

My wife.

I could never afford
a place like this,

although I'm not poor.

So, Pippa,

when are you gonna start
doing something about your life?

What do you mean?

Well, doesn't it get
dispiriting being so aimless-

I mean, "The times, they are
a-changing" notwithstanding?

What?

You have such a sweetness
about you.

No, I'm not sweet.

Well, you can be experienced
and have a sweetness about you.

It's an innate thing with you,
it seems.

I haven't seen that quality
in a person in a long time.

We're all going swimming!

Andiamo.
Vamos, ya, ya, ya.

God.

I didn't realize it yet,
but I had set my sights on Herb,

and once that happened,
watch out.

She's making me nostalgic
for his first wife,

and trust me,
that's saying something.

You're interesting, Pippa.

I've been observing you.

You have?

You're like
an ingenue femme fatale.

Okay, and what are you like?

Writers are vampires.

I'm waiting for the right girl
to come along

and make me a human being.

You realize that if I leaned in
right now and kissed you,

I'd be the third guy tonight?

Am I right?

Yeah, you would.

Come on!

- There you go. Thanks.
- See you next week.

Next?

Fish tonight?

Well, he comes all the way
from Maine every Thursday.

You feel guilty
about the fish man?

A little.

I'm sorry about the other day.

That's all right.

How are you doing?

Fine.

I actually went to see someone
about the sleepwalking,

and he basically thinks
I'm off my nut...

Basically.

See, it's- it's a psychiatrist.

That's because he thinks
I'm gonna need medication

and a locksmith.

See, he suggested that we bolt
the bedroom door from the inside

and Herb hide the key, and...

I'm supposed to take up a hobby.

I'm thinking bowling.

Would you like to go
for a drive...

Sure.

After you get your fish?

I'll make pasta.

Where do you want to go?

I don't know.

I could show you
where I grew up.

Okay.

How do I get there?

It's straight
for a couple of miles.

And then we'll make a turn.
I'll tell you.

It's close. It's...

There it is.

It seems so small.

Is your family still here?

No.

That's my daughter, Grace.

She hates me.

I wonder...

What?

If I got it all wrong
with her.

I just didn't want
to suffocate her the way my...

I think it happens like that
in families sometimes, though,

where you just keep swinging
back and forth

from generation to generation,
getting it wrong

the opposite way.

It was so simple with Ben.

But, you know, she is
a photographic journalist,

travels all over the world,
wherever it's exploding,

takes photographs.

Yeah, I know.

We must have done
something right.

Sounds like
your daughter's like you.

Why?

You said you were always
in a drama.

Well, I was reckless
with my life.

That's true.

I never saw her again.

Who?

My mother.

After I ran away, she died.

She had a heart attack.

I can't wait to see.

If I could have anything,

I would ask for one more
afternoon with my mother.

Look at her eyes.

I would be kind.

Beautiful.

I've been going
to Dot's pottery class.

Good.

Why do you think it's good?

The doctor said he thought
you could use a hobby.

Tell me what you like
about me.

Right now?

Yeah.

Well, you put up with me,
for one thing.

That's it?

Of course not.

Herb, what happened to us?
We used to laugh so much.

What happened?

Can't laugh all the time.

- Well, we have to laugh.
- Or what?

Or she died for nothing.

Not that again, okay?

Why am I not allowed
to mention her?

I will not let this marriage
turn into a guilt fest.

We have been through this
a hundred times.

She was crazy.

You get involved
with somebody like that,

it's like putting your hand
in a blender.

Sooner or later,
your fingers get bloody.

I just can't take it.
I can't take it.

I keep seeing her, Herb.

I keep seeing her.
I keep...

I keep seeing the past.

The past just keeps caving in.

I can't take it anymore.
I can't take it.

I'm sorry.

Maybe you should be taking
antidepressants.

What?

You all right?
Do you want to talk?

My mother used to do this.

She'd suddenly disappear,
and I'd find her on the bed

in front of the TV with a plate
of toast on her belly.

That's how she died.

Yes, I know.

I have to take
your blood pressure.

No, you don't.

I slept for a week

after the party
at Herb's beach house.

Maybe I was trying to avoid
my next boyfriend.

When I woke up,

I felt an overwhelming need
to hear Herb's voice.

I missed him so much.
It was strange.

- Hello?
- Mr. Lee?

Hi, it's Pippa Sarkissian.

- Pippa.
- Hey.

I was wondering, do you want
to go out to breakfast?

It's 3:00 in the afternoon.

I meant tomorrow.

He treated me like a pal
at first.

He was avuncular.

He teased me
about being a waster.

I called him an old fart.

We would get together
every couple of days

and take a walk
or eat something.

He gave me reading lists.

He wanted to educate me.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

You're always late.

Well, maybe
you're always early.

I bought something for you.

Now, you only have
to wear this once.

I'll be alone at the beach house
this weekend,

and I want you to come
for lunch.

You weren't supposed
to buy this.

I needed to.

I loved being with Herb.

He made me feel protected.

I thought I was a writer.

I thought it was my calling,
but it just wasn't.

I...

I couldn't flow.

I have a very critical nature,

and it kept me
from being able to flow.

Then I was slightly lost
for a little while.

I had no idea
what I was gonna do.

And I had a friend
in the publishing business,

and he offered me a job,
and here I am.

Tell me what you like
about me.

Well, you're not
a show-off about it,

but I think
you're very intelligent.

And you're beautiful,
but you're cool about it.

And there's a sadness about you,

and I like that, in moderation.

I like your jacket.

And that's it?

No.

No, I...

I like your face and your voice.

And...

this is gonna sound strange.

Say it.

It's like...

like I can feel
what you're feeling.

You know, if you feel nervous
or happy or sad, I can feel it

in my body, in my fingers.

What a remarkable thing.

I'd like you not to feel

as if you have
to censor yourself around me.

Tell me something
about yourself.

Tell me the most important thing
about you.

I'm a fuck-up.

I felt like I was being rescued
from a burning wreck.

If I'm good for anything
in the world,

it's for letting you know
how wonderful you are.

You're my true wife, you know.

No, you don't want me.

I make people sad.

I don't believe that.

Anyway, you have a wife.

If I have to live with
that lunatic for another week,

I'll-I'll hang myself.

For years, I've been hoping
she'd have an affair

so I can walk out on her,

but she won't do it, the bitch.

Mrs. Lee still seems unwilling
to work her way up

like the rest of us.

Go stick it up your ass.

What did you say to me?

I don't understand.

She agrees to divorce you
if we have lunch with her?

She just wants
to make the switch

in some kind of elegant way.

I can't believe
you agreed to do this.

I owe her this much.
Come on, let's go.

Hello, Mr. Lee.
Nice to see you.

Hello, miss.
Hello, Alphonsa.

Welcome.

Hi, hi.
Hello, hello, hello.

- Hi.
- Sam, what a pleasant surprise.

I'll tell Yursa
to bring in the champagne.

Perfect symmetry.

What?

Come on.

She invited me for lunch.

Stop.

Cheers.

You're such a baby.

Thanks.

Let's face it.

I wanted Gigi's life
at that moment.

It wasn't the money, exactly.

It was just that the money
made everything seem all right.

It was the opposite of chaos,

the opposite of everything
I had known up until then.

I wanted to be sheltered
at last.

Madam.

Lunch is served.

My.

Pippa.

Herb.

This lunch is in honor
of telling it like it is.

You know how we all
eat chops and hamburgers

and we don't think of the faces
of who gets killed?

Anybody here a vegetarian?

Here's the truth as I see it:

A pig for a cow,
a fair exchange.

And who's who?

Sorry.

Okay, let's have lunch.
Who wants pig?

First, a toast.

Jeez.

To transformation.

Put the gun down.

Put it down.

Put it down, Gigi.

Isn't it funny
how men always marry women

who are easier and easier
to dominate

until they end up
with an imbecile?

Put the gun down.

Put it down.

Give me the...
No!

Her image would haunt me
for the rest of my life.

I knew without thinking

that not only
would I marry Herb.

I would give myself to him,
like a penitent.

This was my last chance
at goodness.

If I fucked this up,
I would be fallen forever.

Every day, I tried to be good,
to erase the past.

I stopped getting high.

But I didn't know
how to be this new person.

Like a dancer
learning a new routine,

I relied on repetition
to teach my brain.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

It wasn't till
I had the babies, though,

that I really believed
my own act.

That was when Pippa Sarkissian
disappeared forever.

That was how I became Pippa Lee.

I got thrown out
of pottery class.

I got thrown out
of pottery class.

- Who is it?
- It's me.

I'll be right there.

Everything okay?

I got thrown out
of pottery class.

Why?

I told the teacher to screw off.

Let me get my keys.
We'll get some coffee.

She's a witch.
She's...

Why is this towel here,
sweetheart?

Were you eating and you didn't
want to mess up the couch?

No.

What?

When did this start?

Sometime after we moved here.

I was hoping
it was an affair, but...

it just isn't.

I know this has got to be...
dreadful for you.

I-I want you to have
all the money.

You deserve everything.

Thanks.

Well,
are you going to marry her?

Well, at my age,

it would be pretty ridiculous,
wouldn't it?

And... I just want to live.

The past few years,

I can feel you starting
to bury me, Pippa.

I can feel the earth
in my mouth,

almost as if you're
looking forward to it.

How can you say that?

I can feel you starting
to pity me, being afraid of me.

You're already mourning.
Don't deny it.

I mean, of course, I am-

I am afraid of you getting old
and dying.

It's normal to be afraid.

Well, I don't want
to be normal,

and I don't want to be mourned.

I am not a ghost.
I want to live.

Nobody knows when the hell
they're gonna die.

You could die tomorrow.

And fuck you for making me
feel like an old man!

But, Herb, you are an old man.

My...

Sandra!

Killing yourself
with a disposable razor.

I don't think anyone's
ever done that before.

She was in despair, you know.

She loves you.

This first aid kit
came in handy, didn't it?

I had the strangest feeling
walking down those stairs.

I suddenly felt so light,

as if a great weight
had been lifted off of me.

Remember this moment,
sports fans.

Remember where you were.

Pippa Lee rounding the bend,
guilt baton in hand,

coming up on Sandra Dulles,
and the pass is complete.

Pippa Lee has passed
the guilt baton

to Sandra Dulles.

I never thought
I'd live to see this moment.

- Hi, there.
- Hi.

What's going on?

My husband
has been having an affair

with a good friend of mine.

So...

Nobody needs me anymore.

Hi, Ma.

Dot.

Wait.

Dot, no, no, no.

Please, I didn't mean
to upset you.

I really didn't.

That man is 35 years old...

I know,
but we haven't done anything.

And you are whatever you are.

It's none-
it's none of my beeswax.

It is just disappointing

when someone turns out
not to be the person

you thought they were.

I lost control.

I-I care about you tremendously.

Why don't I feel anything?

I mean, it can't be
that I don't love you anymore.

I adored you only this morning.

Maybe you're in shock.

It's all so tired.

What is?

This whole situation.

Let's just fast-forward
to the divorce.

Where...

Where are they?

Where were you going, Mom?

Ben, I really don't see
that that's important.

I just want
to get everything straight.

I had chest pains.

I feel like the gods
are punishing me.

Please stop being
such an egomaniac

and drink your tea.

You forgive me, Pippa?

Forgive her for what?

I-I can't.

Ben, your father
and Sandra were-

They-they're in love.

That's why I was leaving.

What?

I'll jump out the window.

I'm so stupid.
I'm stupid.

I'm just so selfish.

I'll jump out the window
if you don't forgive me.

I'm so...
I forgive you.

Get up. Get up, please.
Okay.

You do not forgive her.

You're right. I don't.

How could Dad do that to you?

Sweetheart, he...
was afraid of dying.

He fell in love.

And I wasn't altogether there
either, as of late.

So I don't know.

Do you even care?

How can I compete with that?

Hi. Where is he?

Sweetheart.

Mrs. Lee?
You have a phone call.

Okay, Ben,
will you take her in?

- Yeah.
- I'll be right back.

Hello?

I just want to say,
in all the world,

you are the one person

to whom none of this
should be happening.

Thank you, Sam.

And I also want to say

that I love you.

Me too.

I mean, really.

Call you later.

- Okay.
- Bye.

- Sam?
- Yeah?

I don't want to make
butterflied lamb anymore.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Why did Ben get to stay?

I don't know.
He seemed to want it the most.

Really?
How do you measure that?

Do you have some sort
of love-ometer?

Why don't we go home for
a few hours and rest and then...

Has someone
been smoking in here?

I don't know.

Yuck.

Was it Daddy?

What?

Well, if Daddy's been smoking,
then maybe-

- No. No.

So his brain is just dead?

It's just completely dead?

He'll never say anything
ever again?

Not one thing?

That's what the doctors
are telling us, sweetheart.

You didn't even ask
for a second opinion.

- Gracie, I know, sweetheart-
- Good night.

Why did you bother to lie?

My God, you are smoking.

I'm quitting soon.

But I have never
seen you smoke in my whole life.

I know.

Aw.

I'm so sorry
this had to happen to you.

I'm not crying
because of Daddy.

I'm crying because...

I'm so mean to you all the time,

and I hate it.

And I don't want to be.

I really, really, really don't.

Sweetheart,
it's not your fault.

There's so many things
you don't know about me.

No, not yet.

I want to be your friend,

because...

because we still have time.

I'd be honored
to be your friend.

No, not honored.

Just happy.

Okay, happy.

Mom.

I saw your light on.

I wanted to see
if you needed anything.

My mom told me what happened.

My son is at the hospital,

and I'm supposed to be resting,
but I can't.

I could drive you around
a little bit.

Do they have your cell?

Don't you have work?

I'm off till 5:00.

I could write Grace a note.

Okay.

I'm leaving soon.

And where will you go?

Back out west, I guess.

What do you pray for
when you pray?

For my kids to be happy,
I guess.

And to be good.

It sounds so childish,
saying it out loud.

Do you want to pray
for your husband?

It's hopeless.

His brain is dead.

Not for his brain.

For his soul.

I don't know how to do that.

Me neither.

Let's try.

Sorry.

Okay, Herb...

I'm gonna let you go.

I'm sure you're pissed as it is

that I've left you
like this so long,

but we wanted to wait for Grace.

I love you anyway, you know.

I'll always love you,
you bastard.

Are you ready now?

Okay, it's time to turn
the corner.

I'm going to stay with Ben
and his girlfriend in town.

I'm gonna find a place
near them,

and I'm gonna wait
to become a grandmother.

I'm awake.

I just don't know
if we can get it all to work.

Hi, Mama.

I'm going on a trip.

A trip?

Yes, and I was wondering

if you could call
these movers right here

and take whatever you want

and then tell them
to give the rest to Goodwill.

That would be great.

What about
the memorial service?

Right, memorial service-

just call everybody on here
except for Sandra,

and just call me on my cell
and give me the date.

And you know what?
What the hell? Invite Sandra.

Mom, are you actually leaving?

I'll be back.

When?

Sweetheart, your father
was in love with a woman

I cooked for two days a week
over the past four years.

I'm not going to organize
his memorial service.

Who is that guy?

He's my friend.

A friend?
What's going on?

Ben, I'm not driving off
into the sunset.

I'm just seeing
what happens next.

I can't believe
this is happening.

She's given us half her life.

Don't you think
she deserves a vacation?

I love you. I love you.
I love you.

I don't know how the rest
of my story will go.

I don't know who I'll be in it.

All I know is, I feel like
this is just the beginning.

♪ - I think I lost it ♪

♪ Let me know ♪
♪ if you come across it ♪

♪ Let me know if I let it fall ♪
♪ along a back road somewhere ♪

♪ Money can't replace it ♪

♪ No memory can erase it ♪

♪ And I know ♪
♪ I'm never gonna find ♪

♪ Another one to compare ♪

♪ Give me some love ♪
♪ to fill me up ♪

♪ Give me some time, ♪
♪ give me some stuff ♪

♪ Give me a sign ♪

♪ Give me some kind of reason ♪

♪ Are you heavy enough ♪
♪ to make me stay? ♪

♪ I feel like ♪
♪ I might blow away ♪

♪ I thought I was in heaven ♪

♪ But I was only dreamin' ♪

♪ I think I lost it ♪

♪ Let me know ♪
♪ if you come across it ♪

♪ Let me know if I let it fall ♪
♪ along a back road somewhere ♪

♪ Money can't replace it ♪

♪ No memory can erase it ♪

♪ And I know ♪
♪ I'm never gonna find ♪

♪ Another one to compare ♪

♪ I just want ♪
♪ to live the life I please ♪

♪ I don't want no enemies ♪

♪ I don't want nothing ♪
♪ if I have to fake it ♪

♪ Never take nothing ♪
♪ don't belong to me ♪

♪ Everything's paid for, ♪
♪ nothing's free ♪

♪ If I give my heart ♪

♪ Will you promise ♪
♪ not to break it? ♪

♪ I think I lost it ♪

♪ Let me know ♪
♪ if you come across it ♪

♪ Let me know if I let it fall ♪
♪ along a back road somewhere ♪

♪ Money can't replace it ♪

♪ No memory can erase it ♪

♪ And I know ♪
♪ I'm never gonna find ♪

♪ Another one to compare ♪

♪ Money can't replace it ♪

♪ No memory can erase it ♪

♪ And I know ♪
♪ I'm never gonna find ♪

♪ Another one to compare ♪