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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:04,192
My fellow detectives,
ours is not an easy job.
2
00:00:04,269 --> 00:00:06,794
The hours are long,
the danger is constant.
3
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:08,897
The pay is LOL.
4
00:00:08,974 --> 00:00:10,635
But today, a glimmer of hope.
5
00:00:10,743 --> 00:00:14,042
For today, a new vending machine.
6
00:00:15,948 --> 00:00:18,109
Behold him in all of his glory.
7
00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:20,185
So full of strength and promise,
8
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,312
and most importantly, sodium,
gluten, and fat. Whoo!
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:27,086
The time has finally come
to christen the machine.
10
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,490
Boyle, the champagne?
11
00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:31,826
Well, technically, it's a Hungarian
Pezsgo from the Tárnok Valley.
12
00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:34,179
For once in your life, don't
ruin it. Give him the bottle.
13
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,393
Thank you.
14
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,764
I hereby christen thee
15
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,600
Snacky Chan!
16
00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:44,475
Whoa!
17
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,311
Okay, well, at least
it was just the keypad.
18
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,779
None of the snacks got messed up.
19
00:00:49,615 --> 00:00:51,640
Whoa! Go!
Right!
20
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,718
Okay, okay.
21
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:57,518
No! It should've been me.
It should've been me!
22
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,074
Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
23
00:01:18,844 --> 00:01:20,835
Our perp's name is Karl Ove.
24
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,710
My CI said he's selling counterfeit
caviar out of a blue stall.
25
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,349
This place smells like a squid
farted inside a whale's butt.
26
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:29,411
Yes, that is the exact combo of smells.
27
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,888
Nicely done.
28
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:33,951
Hey, next week is my six-month
anniversary with Amy.
29
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,227
Should I do something special?
30
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,525
You know what I like about
our relationship, Jake?
31
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,153
We don't talk about our
love lives or our families,
32
00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:39,219
or anything that's on our minds.
33
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,596
It's why you're my closest
friend in the world.
34
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,759
Yeah, I know, but I need help on this.
35
00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:44,325
I asked Boyle and he was useless.
36
00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:47,195
Put a baby in her, Jake.
What are you waiting for?
37
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,408
So, do that then.
Problem solved.
38
00:01:49,475 --> 00:01:50,807
Look, it's our guy.
39
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:54,606
Excuse me, sir, we're with the NYPD.
40
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,161
I just need to ask you a couple of...
41
00:01:56,415 --> 00:01:58,884
Oh! Shrimp! I hate that!
42
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,719
You're under arrest, punk. Nobody
gets away from Jake Per...
43
00:02:11,897 --> 00:02:14,889
Something yucky touched me!
Ugh, gross, gross, gross!
44
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,264
Hang on. What's that?
45
00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,662
What have we here?
46
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,341
What?
47
00:02:24,076 --> 00:02:26,477
I have no idea what you're saying.
48
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,609
Just as I suspected immediately.
49
00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:33,478
It's a flawless 39-carat diamond
that was stolen six weeks ago
50
00:02:33,552 --> 00:02:34,849
from the Royal Stockholm Museum.
51
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,478
I've just received word from Interpol
52
00:02:36,555 --> 00:02:37,817
that two detectives are on their way
53
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:39,290
from Sweden to pick up the suspect.
54
00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:40,848
Please make them feel welcome.
55
00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:43,656
Welcome? We're gonna roll out
the fricking red carpet.
56
00:02:43,795 --> 00:02:45,388
Working a jewel heist with Interpol?
57
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,659
This is the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
58
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,395
Second best.
Aw.
59
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,362
First best.
I was lying to Amy.
60
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:59,240
Do you guys know anyone
who wants some used textbooks?
61
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:00,368
I'd love them.
62
00:03:00,445 --> 00:03:01,878
It's never too late to teach
yourself something new...
63
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:03,711
So, no one. Great.
64
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,407
Why are you throwing those out?
65
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,612
Because I'm never gonna
pass this astronomy final.
66
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,316
So, I won't graduate.
So, my life is ruined.
67
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:13,824
Or we could help you study.
68
00:03:14,493 --> 00:03:17,485
I did graduate
magna cum laude from Syracuse.
69
00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:20,055
I know that sounds
like a brag. And it was!
70
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,858
Terry killed it in college.
71
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:24,026
Plus, I know a thing
or two about astronomy.
72
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,866
I had 11 straight birthdays
at the planetarium.
73
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,771
That was also a brag.
74
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:33,235
My God, you guys are
such pathetic nerds.
75
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:36,575
But maybe that's what I need
right now, pathetic nerds.
76
00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,481
Okay. You pathetic
nerds can help me.
77
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:41,911
Thank you?
78
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:44,656
You are so welcome.
79
00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,252
Peralta, Diaz.
80
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:50,159
This is Inspector Knausgaard
and Deputy Inspector Carlsson.
81
00:03:50,329 --> 00:03:51,956
Their flight here was eight hours.
82
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:53,361
It's been a pleasure talking with you
83
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:54,793
about the duration of your flight.
84
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:55,858
Good day.
85
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,401
Well, there goes my opening question
86
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,870
about how long your flight was.
87
00:03:59,138 --> 00:04:01,469
It was eight hours.
Yeah, no, I got that.
88
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:03,822
I was joking, sorry. It must
have got lost in translation.
89
00:04:04,076 --> 00:04:05,634
No, we understand you perfectly.
90
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,372
Everyone in Sweden speaks English.
91
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:11,406
We also speak Norwegian, Dutch,
German, French, Russian, and Finnish.
92
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,508
But not Danish.
93
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,211
That is a garbage language
for garbage people.
94
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:15,413
Yeah.
Word up.
95
00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:17,922
Well, I have almost memorized
Gangnam Style phonetically,
96
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,117
so samesies.
97
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,057
I don't know this word.
"Samesies"?
98
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,685
From context, I believe it means
99
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,252
"proudly uneducated."
Ah.
100
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:25,396
So...
No.
101
00:04:25,464 --> 00:04:27,091
...where's our prisoner?
Being processed.
102
00:04:27,165 --> 00:04:28,497
But in the meantime,
103
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,696
may I offer you some
of the finest cuisine
104
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,795
in Brooklyn from
my favorite restaurant?
105
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:37,338
The food cart outside the
precinct. It's really good.
106
00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:38,500
Hmm, none for Soren.
107
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,838
He's allergic to lactose,
gluten, and tomato ketchup.
108
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,014
Oh.
Also, none for Agneta.
109
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,117
She and her husband are
trying to have another baby,
110
00:04:45,183 --> 00:04:48,119
so she can't eat anything that
will alter her cervical pH.
111
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,812
Oh.
You guys are real close, huh?
112
00:04:50,889 --> 00:04:52,930
In Sweden, we believe for
a proper team to function,
113
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,983
partners must be completely
open with each other.
114
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,694
Yeah. We have no secrets.
115
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,629
Not even our bodies.
We sauna together all the time.
116
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,495
Yeah, well, we are also very close.
117
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,398
One time, Rosa saw me
in my bathing suit.
118
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:05,343
No, I didn't, you told
me to turn around. Yeah.
119
00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,896
Well, since we cannot eat
your disgusting street food,
120
00:05:07,973 --> 00:05:09,942
could you please check if our
prisoner has been processed?
121
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,569
Yeah, we don't mean
to offend, it's just
122
00:05:11,576 --> 00:05:13,908
this place is filthy and you
both seem unprofessional.
123
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,071
Unprofessional?
124
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,206
Well, we were going to take you
125
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:17,646
to our favorite laser tag place,
126
00:05:17,716 --> 00:05:20,185
but now, you're officially uninvited.
127
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:21,584
Rosa.
128
00:05:22,754 --> 00:05:24,552
Ah, Boyle. Just the man
we were looking for.
129
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,420
Kevin has accepted
a fellowship to teach
130
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,822
at the Sorbonne for
the next six months.
131
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,485
Oh, I love Paris.
132
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:32,257
At least how it's represented
in the movie Ratatouille.
133
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,295
Uh...
The rodent chef.
134
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,062
Ah, yes. Farfetched.
135
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,928
Anyway, Kevin and I belong to
the Park Slope Racquet Club,
136
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:41,632
where we've established
a squash doubles dynasty.
137
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:43,733
We've taken home the
trophy two years in a row.
138
00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:46,970
Unfortunately, I'll be flying to Paris
this year during the tournament.
139
00:05:47,045 --> 00:05:48,478
It's a seven-hour flight.
140
00:05:48,613 --> 00:05:50,808
I remember you told me
you played in college.
141
00:05:50,882 --> 00:05:53,215
Three-time intramural
champion at Sarah Lawrence.
142
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,879
Would have been four, but
senior year I played Greaseball
143
00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,718
in our school's production
of Starlight Express.
144
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,348
Interesting casting.
145
00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:01,754
In any case, I would be honored
if you would take my place,
146
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:03,420
so that Raymond could make it a treble.
147
00:06:03,495 --> 00:06:05,987
Absolutely!
I would love to do that!
148
00:06:06,064 --> 00:06:07,326
Great.
Formidable.
149
00:06:07,399 --> 00:06:10,766
Yup! That is great.
This is great.
150
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,699
This is terrible.
Why?
151
00:06:12,838 --> 00:06:14,879
You always said you wanted
more face time with Holt.
152
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,942
No, not like this. Squash
brings out my competitive side.
153
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:20,807
Breaking racquets, cursing,
excessive mooning.
154
00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:22,605
One time, just to psych a guy out,
155
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,548
I locked eyes with him
and ate a squash ball.
156
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:26,675
That's not possible.
157
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,447
It's still in me, Terry.
158
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,182
Look, the point is to have fun.
159
00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,689
So, just relax and have fun.
160
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:35,023
Right, right, right, yeah.
It's just a game. It's fun.
161
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,129
There's no need for Holt to
see me unleash the beast.
162
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,466
Okay.
163
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,064
That's a strange little man.
164
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,766
Probably telling Captain Holt
how much they like to
165
00:06:46,838 --> 00:06:47,930
Sauna together.
166
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,007
Please.
167
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,154
They think they're so great
168
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,540
just 'cause they know
each other's allergies.
169
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:52,600
You know what I'm allergic to?
170
00:06:52,677 --> 00:06:53,906
Yup. Them.
Totally.
171
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,742
And also bees.
You should know that.
172
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:57,509
If I got stung by a bee, I could die.
173
00:06:57,649 --> 00:06:59,207
Detectives, I've been
talking with the inspectors.
174
00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:01,947
There's been a development
in the Köttbullediamant case.
175
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,113
Excellent pronunciation,
Captain. Tack.
176
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:05,952
They believe our perp may have smuggled
177
00:07:06,024 --> 00:07:07,889
more stolen Swedish
diamonds into Brooklyn.
178
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,120
Oh, well, thank you for the tip.
179
00:07:09,194 --> 00:07:10,389
Have a wonderful flight home.
180
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,502
We will send you the jewels
as soon as we find them.
181
00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:14,898
They're staying and working
the case with you.
182
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,968
Ah, fantastic.
183
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,401
Rosa, could you please fill
my car with a million bees?
184
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,834
Okay, since the Swedes are rudely late,
185
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,377
let's talk anniversary gift.
186
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:28,379
Should I get Amy something
cazh like shot glasses,
187
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,884
or something less cazh,
like golden shot glasses?
188
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,577
Still don't care.
How about I get a jump
189
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,451
on our new partners and
search the perp's apartment?
190
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:39,048
Right. We'll get some clues, solve
the case, make them look like fools.
191
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,365
They can eat our American dust.
192
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,755
No, no. Soren is probably
Allergic to dust.
193
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,292
Oh, hello!
194
00:07:45,363 --> 00:07:46,797
Yes, I am allergic to dust.
195
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:48,730
Everyone is.
That's what sneezes are.
196
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,735
You're what sneezes are.
Okay.
197
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,132
What are you guys doing here?
198
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,271
Oh, in Sweden, we call it police work.
199
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,863
Perhaps you don't have a word for it?
200
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,533
Oh, I hate you.
This is our case.
201
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:58,769
You can't work it without us.
202
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,458
Get your weird, hairless
fingers off of it.
203
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:03,641
Soren shaves his fingers for
cycling. It cuts down on drag.
204
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:04,978
Agneta is my biggest fanatic.
205
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:07,382
Just as I am a fanatic
of her slam poetry.
206
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,553
Would you like to hear some?
Would I like to?
207
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,714
- I would hate to!
- Your loss.
208
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,620
Well, we've already searched
the entire apartment.
209
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,523
Yeah, well, now we're gonna search it,
210
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,995
and find things you all
missed, like this!
211
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,297
Your own keys?
212
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,832
Damn straight.
Bag 'em, Diaz.
213
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,867
Astronomy is full of interesting facts.
214
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:30,807
For instance, here's one that
Hollywood doesn't want you to know.
215
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:34,812
A parsec is actually
a measure of distance.
216
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,405
One of the many inaccuracies
in the Star Wars universe.
217
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:39,710
Uh-huh. And what's
Star Wars?
218
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,981
Oh, boy.
219
00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:43,577
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.
220
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:48,682
Okay, let's talk planets.
Jupiter is a gas giant.
221
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,854
So is Hitchcock.
How does this help me?
222
00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:52,894
It also has 67 moons.
223
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,693
I came up with a fun mnemonic
device to remember them all.
224
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,928
It goes, "Every Individual
Gets Crayons"
225
00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:02,839
"After Telling His Aggressive Little
Mongoose Painter Called 'Ernest'"
226
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:07,412
"Some Lies About
Tiny Panda Heads."
227
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,745
"Maybe One Kid Could Take Her Elephant"
228
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,477
"Into California, Except..."
229
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,245
Where's Gina?
230
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,085
She told me you
called me a "gas giant."
231
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:21,091
Well, now, you and I
will never hook up.
232
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,188
Uh-oh. What's this?
A little piece of evidence
233
00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,164
that evaded your bald little hands.
234
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,861
A shipping manifest that was
shoved into the back of a drawer.
235
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,177
Our perp transferred a container
236
00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:34,263
to a shipyard in
Bay Ridge on October 11th.
237
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,740
That arrived over a month ago, I
doubt you'll find anything in it.
238
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:38,037
Please, you're just pissed
239
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,907
we cracked the case wide open
and you've got nada.
240
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,879
That's right, I speak Spanish.
241
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:43,972
Actually, we've got
much more than nada.
242
00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:45,380
Damn it, he speaks Spanish, too.
243
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:49,784
Agneta found an invitation to a
party tonight at the home of
244
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:51,450
Alvar Gustavsson.
245
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,014
The hot blond guy
from True Blood? Oh!
246
00:09:53,091 --> 00:09:55,525
No, the Swedish millionaire
with ties to organized crime.
247
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,721
Alvar Gustavsson.
Yeah.
248
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:59,094
Oh, that
Alvar Gooz-hev-vren.
249
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:01,289
Well, you're welcome to
pursue that dead-end lead
250
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:03,562
while we go to the shipping
container and find the jewels.
251
00:10:03,635 --> 00:10:06,730
And maybe to celebrate, Rosa will
wear them to your dumbass party.
252
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,671
No, they're priceless,
please do not do that.
253
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:09,934
Yeah, obviously, we wouldn't.
254
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,476
We were just being jerks.
See you later, jerks.
255
00:10:12,544 --> 00:10:14,979
Okay.
Bye, Jake. Bye, Rosie.
256
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:18,482
Whoo!
257
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,744
You ready, Boyle?
258
00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:21,342
Psyched up?
No, why?
259
00:10:21,419 --> 00:10:22,419
Do I seem psyched?
260
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,888
'Cause I'm definitely not.
I just want to have fun.
261
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:25,980
And to win.
262
00:10:26,057 --> 00:10:28,491
Hey, if we all have fun
and don't throw any racquets
263
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,359
and don't eat squash balls,
then we're all winners.
264
00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:33,125
What?
Nothing. I'll serve.
265
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,302
Out.
What?
266
00:10:40,405 --> 00:10:43,671
Are you out of your mind?
That was...
267
00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:46,705
...fun.
268
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,403
That was a fun call.
269
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:51,913
You're a real fun guy, fun guy.
270
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:55,052
This is fun!
This is fun!
271
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,720
Gina! I know astronomy
can seem
272
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,554
a little daunting and scientific,
273
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:03,389
but I have a friend who I think
274
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:05,191
can make it pretty interesting.
275
00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:10,192
Who dis?
276
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,629
Hi, Gina, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
277
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:12,729
And I care, why?
278
00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,533
Director of the Hayden Planetarium.
279
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,898
One of the world's
leading astrophysicists.
280
00:11:16,975 --> 00:11:18,773
And he's doing me a huge favor.
281
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,210
And how do you know Terrance,
Space Tie?
282
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:22,371
We're gym buddies.
283
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:27,615
Damn, Neil deGrasse Tyson!
How are you doing that?
284
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,712
It's physics, Terry.
It's physics.
285
00:11:31,256 --> 00:11:33,918
Gina, look.
Give me two hours.
286
00:11:34,025 --> 00:11:35,618
You'll not only pass your exam,
287
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,390
you'll gain a deeper
appreciation of the universe
288
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:42,331
through which we journey
on this spaceship Earth.
289
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,460
Spaceship Earth?
Way to go.
290
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,801
You just made Earth lame,
and that is my house.
291
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,840
Gina, why did you want
to take astronomy?
292
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,307
Because I thought it would be cool,
293
00:11:50,341 --> 00:11:53,174
just me sitting around
naming moons left and right,
294
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:56,179
like Zorp, Bong, Dingo.
295
00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:59,547
Etcetera. That would be
one of the names, Etcetera.
296
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,346
She's gonna fail, isn't she?
297
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:02,885
Big time.
Yeah.
298
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,548
According to the shipping company,
299
00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:07,456
the container that came in
on October 11th is 34G1.
300
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:08,525
Cool.
301
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:09,833
Hey, what did you and Marcus do
302
00:12:09,861 --> 00:12:11,192
for your six-month
anniversary?
303
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,096
Keeping in mind that he's
dreamy and romantic,
304
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,759
and I only own $50.
305
00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:16,993
Marcus and I broke up.
What? When?
306
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:19,230
A month ago.
A month ago?
307
00:12:19,337 --> 00:12:20,702
How do I not know about this?
308
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:21,865
Because we don't talk about that crap.
309
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,140
We're not lame like the Swedes.
310
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,803
Right. Yeah, totally.
311
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,038
If Agneta broke up with her
husband, she'd probably be all,
312
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,876
"Oh, Soren, I am so heartbroken,"
313
00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:32,542
and he'd be like, "What can
I do to help? I'm sorry,"
314
00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:35,745
and give her a big old hug and she'd
be all feeling better like an idiot.
315
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,312
We don't need to do that because
what we do together is solve crimes.
316
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:39,549
You know it.
317
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:43,424
For example, 34G1.
Boom.
318
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,789
We are about to uncover
a butt-load of diamonds.
319
00:12:46,865 --> 00:12:48,355
Exactly.
320
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:53,897
It's fish!
It's fish, Rosa!
321
00:12:53,972 --> 00:12:54,972
Ugh.
322
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,168
Swedes.
323
00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:02,874
Oh, hello, Jake.
You missed quite a party.
324
00:13:02,947 --> 00:13:05,075
The blond man from
True Blood was there.
325
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,812
Very cool guy.
So cool.
326
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:09,183
Yeah, that's cool. Hey, this is
weird because I hate you guys,
327
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:10,414
but can I ask you a question?
328
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,816
If you broke up with your husband,
329
00:13:11,856 --> 00:13:12,914
would you tell Soren about it?
330
00:13:12,991 --> 00:13:15,482
Are you making a funny
laugh joke right now?
331
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:16,926
I would insist he be there for it
332
00:13:16,995 --> 00:13:18,860
so that my husband would
have a shoulder to cry on.
333
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,990
Yeah, several years ago,
Agneta and Lars
334
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,397
were having trouble conceiving.
335
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,697
She didn't even have to ask
me to donate my sperm.
336
00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:27,033
I had it already in a
Tooperware, ready to go.
337
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:30,267
Wow, that's so gross, yeah.
338
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,068
Can we ask you a question?
Mmm-hmm.
339
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,374
Why do you smell like fish?
Is it hygiene?
340
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,344
No, we spent the night cutting
open hundreds of dogfish
341
00:13:37,415 --> 00:13:39,043
to see if they had diamonds inside.
342
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,585
Did they?
Wouldn't you like to know?
343
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,552
Yeah. It would be
pertinent to the case.
344
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:45,088
They didn't. Although, one
did have a battery in it.
345
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,283
What kind of a sicko
feeds a battery to a fish?
346
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,485
Well, while you were wasting your time,
347
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,359
we set up a meeting on 14 November
348
00:13:51,429 --> 00:13:52,953
with the man we think is the buyer.
349
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,624
Um...
No, don't worry, Soren.
350
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,894
I rescheduled your cycling
practice for 16 November,
351
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:58,436
and your dentist for 19 November.
352
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,698
You know me so well.
353
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,575
Ugh. Those guys suck.
354
00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:09,445
They're so into each other, they're
probably gonna start holding hands.
355
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,381
Oh, they're actually holding hands.
356
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:13,475
Yeah, they are awful, for sure.
357
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:14,917
All tall and beautiful,
358
00:14:14,986 --> 00:14:17,477
and you don't want to know what
they've got in their "Tooperware."
359
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:20,115
But honestly, I don't know that
it's that bad that they're close.
360
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,818
Wrong, it's the worst.
Okay.
361
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,359
Oh, my God, I just figured
out where the diamonds are.
362
00:14:24,429 --> 00:14:27,365
We thought the shipping container
came in on October 11th, 10/11,
363
00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,298
but dumb Europeans write
their dates backwards.
364
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,232
We should've been going through
the one from 10 November.
365
00:14:31,302 --> 00:14:34,966
Of course! Stupid rest of the
world, writing their date all dumb.
366
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,404
Yeah. Let's go.
Okay.
367
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,539
Boyle.
368
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,341
Is everything okay, you
know, with your brain?
369
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,937
Yeah. I'm great.
I'm having a lot of fun.
370
00:14:44,015 --> 00:14:46,450
Yes, I've heard you say that 162 times.
371
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,845
You do realize that if
we lose this next match,
372
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:50,040
we're out of the tournament?
373
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:51,885
Yes, but the important thing
is we had a good time.
374
00:14:51,956 --> 00:14:55,790
No! The important thing
is that we win the trophy.
375
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,830
Because I promised Kevin before he
left for Paris that we would do that.
376
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:02,926
Do you know why
I chose you as my partner?
377
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:04,832
Because I'm the most
athletic person you know?
378
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:07,428
No, because of an article I read
in the Sarah Lawrence Phoenix
379
00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:12,442
about a young man they called
"squash's unhinged lunatic."
380
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:13,773
I don't know what you're talking about.
381
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,712
According to that article,
that lunatic was 27-0.
382
00:15:17,982 --> 00:15:19,677
I need him on my team.
383
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:25,451
I need you to unleash the beast.
384
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,730
Whoo!
385
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,696
You butternuts ready to get squashed?
386
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,563
"Huh? What? Duh?"
387
00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:38,659
That's you guys
while I smoke your butts,
388
00:15:38,736 --> 00:15:42,036
because Ray-Ray and the Beast
don't even give a what.
389
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:44,040
We don't give a what.
Uh-uh.
390
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,201
Whoo! Let's do this.
391
00:15:50,415 --> 00:15:52,280
Booyahkah, suckers!
392
00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:55,009
Yeah!
Oh!
393
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,518
Yeah!
394
00:15:58,590 --> 00:15:59,682
What?
395
00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:01,282
You kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
396
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,759
Yes!
397
00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:04,056
Whoo!
Ow!
398
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,892
Way to go!
That's it, baby!
399
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,328
Gina, great news.
400
00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:11,197
Oh, no. Is Neil deGrasse
Tyson here?
401
00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:13,067
He will not stop trying to friend me.
402
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,900
No, but we think we figured out
403
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,702
how you're gonna pass your test.
404
00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,366
Yeah, we realized that we
were trying to get you
405
00:16:18,443 --> 00:16:20,274
to learn using our methods.
406
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:23,110
We should've been
speaking your language.
407
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:25,974
The language of...
408
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:27,051
Dance!
409
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,282
13.8 billion years ago,
there was nothing.
410
00:16:31,356 --> 00:16:33,620
And then the big bang!
411
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:36,951
Yes! Now, Amy, back up
till you feel the wall.
412
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,755
And, Terry, ditch the shirt.
413
00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:41,423
I'm ready to learn.
414
00:16:45,703 --> 00:16:47,865
And that's how you calculate
parallax distance.
415
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,908
So, you ready for the test?
416
00:16:50,975 --> 00:16:53,466
Oh, I took it this morning.
I passed.
417
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,005
What? It was nice how
much you guys cared,
418
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,605
so I actually opened up my
textbook for the first time.
419
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,850
Y'all, astronomy is
kind of interesting.
420
00:17:02,086 --> 00:17:04,384
And I am hella smart.
421
00:17:04,455 --> 00:17:06,788
Then why'd you make us
do that whole dance?
422
00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,086
Two reasons,
423
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,355
uno and dos.
424
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,119
I get that.
425
00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:15,357
One-two, one-two,
one-two, one-two.
426
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:22,634
I guess we are the better team.
427
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,741
Why do people like these things?
They're just shiny rocks.
428
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:28,108
Yeah, totally.
429
00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:30,772
You should be happier.
We found the jewels, we won.
430
00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:32,817
Yeah, you're right.
We should celebrate.
431
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:34,943
Why don't we go to a bar
and drink in silence?
432
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:37,010
Cool. Sounds good.
No, I was being a bitch.
433
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:38,214
How did you not pick up on that?
434
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:39,586
What is your problem, man?
435
00:17:39,657 --> 00:17:41,250
Is this about your stupid
anniversary present?
436
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,759
Yeah, that, and you not
telling me about Marcus.
437
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:45,160
We're supposed to be friends.
438
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,892
You sound like Soren or Agneta,
whichever the boy one is.
439
00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:49,125
Well, say what you want about them,
440
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,792
but at least
they communicate, you know?
441
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:53,462
I've never even heard
your slam poetry, Rosa.
442
00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:55,019
Why do you all of a sudden care about
443
00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:56,559
every single little detail of my life?
444
00:17:56,708 --> 00:18:00,108
Because all we talk about
is cop stuff, all right?
445
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,338
And that was fine when we were 20
446
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,505
because that's all I cared about.
447
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,741
But we're adults now
and there are other things,
448
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,682
like me and Amy and you and Marcus,
449
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,515
that friends are supposed
to talk about.
450
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,067
Well, I guess we're not friends then.
451
00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:11,450
Wow.
452
00:18:11,522 --> 00:18:13,387
All right, I guess we're not.
453
00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:16,117
Oh, uh-oh.
454
00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:17,924
We're moving.
Oh, really?
455
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:20,327
Thank you for sharing that
intimate detail about your life.
456
00:18:20,398 --> 00:18:21,661
Jake.
I know, we're screwed.
457
00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:23,257
I was being a bitch again!
458
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,637
All right, I called for backup.
459
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,265
I also texted all of my friends.
460
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,832
You'll notice your phone didn't buzz.
461
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,102
I think we're in Red Hook.
We're not on the BQE anymore.
462
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,270
Nice try, Rosa.
463
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,076
Don't try to kiss up
to me by mentioning
464
00:18:37,148 --> 00:18:38,809
my third-favorite
New York expressway.
465
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,875
Shut up! We pulled
into a parking lot.
466
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:42,073
Things are about to go down.
467
00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:45,749
Backup won't make it here in
time. It's just me and you.
468
00:18:46,557 --> 00:18:47,855
I heard two voices in the truck.
469
00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:49,405
There'll be more
if there's a meet-up.
470
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,694
Go word is "Glurg."
Copy that.
471
00:18:57,903 --> 00:19:00,428
Flergen!
Come on, is that you?
472
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,066
I haven't seen you
since Blorgenbergen, man!
473
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,200
Who the hell are you?
474
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:05,971
Give me a hand, you old dummy.
475
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,771
It's me, Glurg.
476
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,107
NYPD! Drop it!
Drop it, you're under arrest.
477
00:19:11,349 --> 00:19:13,647
I hope they have saunas
in Swedish prison.
478
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,414
They do, actually.
They're quite nice. Oh.
479
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,384
Kevin, there's something
we'd like to show you.
480
00:19:20,491 --> 00:19:21,491
Ta-da!
481
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:22,820
Ah, magnifique.
482
00:19:23,127 --> 00:19:24,390
The treble is ours.
483
00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:25,987
I look forward to getting
number four next year.
484
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:29,363
Actually, we've been banned for
life from all future tournaments.
485
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:30,627
Oh, no. What happened?
486
00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:31,827
My fault, Kevin.
487
00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:33,565
I snapped
the second-place trophy
488
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:35,230
over my knee and threw it in a urinal.
489
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,001
Oh, my.
Yeah.
490
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:40,101
But the important thing is, we had fun.
491
00:19:40,578 --> 00:19:41,603
Yeah.
492
00:19:41,712 --> 00:19:43,907
So, we'll be taking the jewels
back to Sweden tomorrow.
493
00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:47,509
Yeah. Guess you were wrong about us,
huh? Bet you feel pretty stupid.
494
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,917
Actually, when you're wrong, that
means you've learned something.
495
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:52,957
And any opportunity
for learning is good.
496
00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:54,522
Ugh. You are
the absolute worst.
497
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,026
I hope you die in a fjord.
498
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,994
No, no, we are trying to say we are
happy to have worked with you.
499
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,428
Yeah, I know. That is
an infuriating attitude.
500
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,365
Yeah, I second the fjord thing.
501
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,366
Bye, Jake. Bye, Rosie.
502
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,806
It's just how they walk
around, I guess.
503
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:13,276
Get your hands off each
other, weirdoes. God.
504
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,780
Well, nice job today.
505
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:19,567
I guess we didn't have to know each
other to have each other's backs.
506
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,715
So, drink in silence?
507
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,214
This sucks.
508
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,050
We solved the case and told
the Swedes how to die.
509
00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:27,090
I should be happy, but I
can tell you're bummed,
510
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,593
and that's not cool
'cause we are friends.
511
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:31,321
Really?
Yes.
512
00:20:32,163 --> 00:20:33,631
And I thought of what you should do
513
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:34,898
with Amy for your anniversary.
514
00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:37,094
Oh, thank God.
I got her a boogie board.
515
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:40,400
It has an iguana playing electric
guitar on it. She's gonna hate it.
516
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,165
The New York Public Library
lets VIPs stay there overnight.
517
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:47,367
Ooh, that's perfect. But wait,
how do I become a library VIP?
518
00:20:47,445 --> 00:20:49,174
I forgot to return Superfudge
in the fourth grade,
519
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,927
and I've been scared
to go back ever since.
520
00:20:51,115 --> 00:20:53,448
Don't worry about it.
I can hook you up.
521
00:20:54,619 --> 00:20:55,882
My new boyfriend works there.
522
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:58,479
You shared!
What's his name?
523
00:20:58,557 --> 00:20:59,922
No, wait.
I don't want to push too hard.
524
00:20:59,991 --> 00:21:01,686
No, it's cool.
525
00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:03,853
I want to tell you his name.
526
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,996
Oh, okay, just gonna take
a quick drink break.
527
00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:08,123
Here comes the name.
528
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,894
Nope. Uno más.
529
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:12,965
All righty. Good Lord!
530
00:21:13,171 --> 00:21:14,762
Putting 'em away.
531
00:21:14,905 --> 00:21:16,770
I have to imagine these belong
to someone else.
532
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,605
It's fine.
Yeah.
533
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:23,445
It's Tom.
I love it!
534
00:21:24,305 --> 00:22:24,460
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