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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,268 --> 00:00:03,736 Good morning, diaz, peralta. 2 00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:06,338 Captain. You're smiling. 3 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,141 It's very weird, like seeing a turtle out of its shell. 4 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,376 I'm happy. 5 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:11,777 Our drug task force was a success, 6 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,380 And today, I get to watch my nemesis, madeline wuntch, 7 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,315 Drape a medal around my neck. 8 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,649 Also, we cleaned up the streets. 9 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,051 Yeah, sure. That's good too. 10 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,786 So I've been planning how to zing madeline 11 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,321 When she puts the medal on. 12 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,389 I have the perfect line. 13 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,391 "wuntch-time is over." 14 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,294 It's a-- it's a play on "lunch time." 15 00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,130 Yes, devastating burn, sir. 16 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,664 But you know what would really show her 17 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,299 Is if you said nothing at all. 18 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,768 Oh, interesting. Interesting. [laughs] 19 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,302 Let madeline know she's not even worth 20 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,737 My staying up all night crafting zingers. 21 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,439 "wuntch-time" took you all night? 22 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,608 Trust me. Turn the other cheek. 23 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:45,778 Which I recently learned is about faces and not butts, 24 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,179 But works either way. 25 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,447 Yes. 26 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,581 I should be the bigger person. 27 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,183 That shouldn't be hard, given that 28 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,286 Madeline's not technically a person. 29 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,155 For meritorious service, 30 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,323 The nypd bestows this award 31 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,560 On detectives rosa diaz, jake peralta, 32 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,729 And captain... 33 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,364 Raymond holt. 34 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,072 Raymond. Madeline. 35 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,373 You won. 36 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,375 Go ahead and gloat, you toad. 37 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:20,212 Thank you for this honor, deputy chief. 38 00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:25,317 Oh. Okay. 39 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,286 You're welcome. 40 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,353 Wuntch-time is over. 41 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:30,089 Boom! Did it! [laughs] 42 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:31,423 Had it both ways. 43 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,724 No regrets. 44 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,727 [upbeat music] 45 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:43,802 ♪ ♪ 46 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:51,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 47 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,180 Listen up, gang. 48 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,416 We have intel on a drop house 49 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,718 Used by alexei bisko, 50 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,386 A captain in the ukrainian mafia. 51 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,387 Oh, he should be psyched. 52 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,389 That's a very up-and-coming mafia. 53 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:05,757 His soldiers use the site 54 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,526 To drop off money and pick up weapons. 55 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,329 We need a couple of teams to do long-term stakeouts. 56 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,330 I'm out. 57 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,431 Four hours is the most 58 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:16,768 What about that time we drove out to boston together? 59 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,271 That was about four hours. 60 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,639 Oh, I see what just happened. 61 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,175 The only decent vantage is this condemned hotel 62 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,176 Across the street. 63 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,577 We can go in as exterminators, 64 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,913 But too much movement will look suspicious. 65 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,515 It's an eight-day op, so two teams 66 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,616 Will do four days each. 67 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:31,683 Boyle and I are in. 68 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,619 Okay, that's one team. 69 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,620 Who wants to relieve them? 70 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:35,754 If extraction is a risk, 71 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,356 The two of us can do the full eight days. 72 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,690 A hanukkah miracle. 73 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,459 No, that is too long 74 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,927 To be holed up together like that. 75 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,562 I did a six-day stakeout once. 76 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,297 Did not go well. 77 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,166 Well, that's not gonna be a problem for us. 78 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,534 The only time I ever yelled at charles 79 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,669 Was cheering him on at his roller boogie competition. 80 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,670 We never fight. 81 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,771 It won't be a stakeout, 82 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,306 It'll be a stake-cation. 83 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,842 ♪ stake me out tonight ♪ 84 00:02:56,844 --> 00:03:00,779 ♪ I don't want to let you go till we catch this guy ♪ 85 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,481 We already have a theme song. 86 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,682 That concludes this meeting. 87 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,385 Ooh, what's this? 88 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,287 None of your business. 89 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,488 (gina) "none of your business"? 90 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,658 The most enticing words a person can say. 91 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,726 Terry, I will not leave your side 92 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,962 Until there are no secrets between us. 93 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:17,963 Fine. 94 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,231 I'm making my twins 95 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:23,869 It's called June bug and cricket: Adventure girls. 96 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,371 Whoa, this one looks just like you, gina. 97 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,573 Yes. 98 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,375 She is straight-up gorgeous. 99 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,476 And this one's definitely you. 100 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,345 Look how masculine the clothes are. 101 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,480 It's a suit of armor. 102 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,882 Pantsuit of armor. 103 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:41,820 But only because it's easier for me to draw from real life. 104 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,355 The whole squad's in here. 105 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,224 Tiny squirrel is charles, 106 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,259 The walrus is captain holt, 107 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,727 And the hippo with heads on both ends, 108 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,229 That's hitchcock and scully. 109 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,230 How do they defecate? 110 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,932 It's a kid's book, santiago! 111 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,369 This is why I didn't want to show it to people. 112 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,971 Pickin' it apart. 113 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,882 Oh. 114 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,452 Oh, my god, did you carry us up here like suitcases? 115 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,353 No, man. 116 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,420 This is real life. 117 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,622 I rolled you in on the cart. 118 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,623 Boo! 119 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,025 Terry sucks! Terry sucks! 120 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,460 Terry's great. Terry's great. 121 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,461 Where do you want the food? 122 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,795 And does braided herring 123 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,031 And jellied starfish count as food? 124 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,733 Oh, indeed it does. 125 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,468 I may be stuck in a tiny room, 126 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,370 But my palate will travel the world. 127 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,371 (terry) listen up. 128 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,572 This is a real small room. 129 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,340 If you start getting on each other's nerves, 130 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:36,575 Do what I do with my babies: 131 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,410 Go to separate corners. 132 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,279 We call it "alone zones." 133 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,614 All due respect, sarge, but we don't need "alone zones." 134 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,316 No, we do not. 135 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,917 But let me ask you a question. 136 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,053 How do we feel about scone zones? 137 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,521 I feel great about it. 138 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,555 Me too. 139 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:51,556 Sarge? 140 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,858 I'm a muffin guy. 141 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,960 Boo! Boo! 142 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,063 Great news, my friend. 143 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,399 We have a bathroom pet. 144 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,567 His name is horace, and he's either a small rat 145 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,002 Or a large cockroach, 146 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,937 And he's either sleeping or dead. 147 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,539 Here's the schedule: 148 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,341 Eight hours both on watch; 149 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,442 Eight hours I sleep, you watch; 150 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,943 Eight hours you sleep, I watch. 151 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,345 I set an alarm. 152 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,546 I made the perfect ringtone. 153 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,814 Listen. 154 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,649 (charles on recording) ♪ stake me out tonight ♪ 155 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,786 ♪ I don't want to let you go till we catch the guy ♪ 156 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:21,787 I love it. 157 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,588 All right, we got binocs, 158 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,758 Camera, night vision goggles, computer, and... 159 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,662 Mini-basketball. 160 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,831 Oh, my god, I love that. 161 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,666 My whole problem with basketball 162 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,335 Was big ball, tiny hands. 163 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,803 Tiny ball, problem solved. 164 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:38,804 Oop me. 165 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,406 Ready? Ooping. One, two, three! 166 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,474 [groans] 167 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,843 Did that look as cool as it felt? 168 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,977 How cool did it feel? 169 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,379 Mm. 170 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:49,114 Everyone, this is my nephew marcus. 171 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,782 He's new in town. 172 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,484 He's staying with me until he finds a place. 173 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,618 He is 31. 174 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:54,986 You're a terrible hype-man. 175 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,456 [chuckles] and you must be gina. 176 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,557 I heard a lot about everyone. 177 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,959 I take it you're amy, 178 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,361 Rosa, 179 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,362 Terry... 180 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,897 I'm jake. We're both jake. 181 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,866 Scully and hitchcock. [chuckles] 182 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,135 Hey, well, I just came to get the keys from my uncle ray. 183 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,471 Let everybody get back to work. 184 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,705 Nice meeting you. Pleasure. 185 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,773 Bye. 186 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,042 Holy moses. 187 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,510 "bye"? What? 188 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,479 For you, that's basically walking up to him 189 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,581 And jamming your tongue down his throat. 190 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,582 Shut up. 191 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:24,716 Yes, gina, that's enough. 192 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,118 You're right. Sorry. 193 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,687 Too far. 194 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,423 But let me just add one little thing off topic. 195 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,458 Rosa wants to bone your nephew. 196 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,165 (charles on recording) ♪ stake me out tonight ♪ 197 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,467 ♪ I don't want to let you go till we catch this guy ♪ 198 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,570 [mumbling tune] 199 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:50,041 That sleep apnea mask is something else, huh? 200 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,042 [sighs] 201 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,043 I got to say, 202 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,879 Ever since I got her-- her? 203 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,046 She touches my lips, jake. 204 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,483 And since she took up residence on my face, 205 00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,785 I sleep like a baby. 206 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,186 Okay. 207 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,922 There was some action at the drop site. 208 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,490 A blue sedan pulled up. 209 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,459 I got the plates and the driver's face. 210 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,462 Also, this is the guy who runs the drop house. 211 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,798 I call him "the beach umbrella" because he looks so shady. 212 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:13,799 Oh. 213 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,634 [munching loudly] 214 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,602 Hey, this is a kind of weird request, 215 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,938 But would you maybe mind chewing your nortfluskers 216 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,106 With your mouth closed? 217 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,443 I can't, and I'm excited to tell you why. 218 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,777 I have a new eating method. 219 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:29,514 I realized that open mouths oxygenate the food, 220 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,616 So it's kind of like wine tasting. 221 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,617 And I hear you, buddy. 222 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,618 I really do. 223 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,454 It's just-- it's pretty gross, 224 00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,756 So maybe just while we're together, 225 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,525 You could keep the old chewer shut? 226 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,894 Okay, but I don't complain 227 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,463 About how gross your meal is. 228 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,531 What's gross about pancakes with butter and maple syrup? 229 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,233 You've completely abandoned the pancake part. 230 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,968 Now you're just eating butter with syrup on it. 231 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,536 Yeah, I cut out the carbs. 232 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:55,540 Okay, well, maybe we just eat in separate corners of the room. 233 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,708 Great. I love that plan. 234 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,211 Wait! That's alone zones. 235 00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:00,512 We don't need alone zones. 236 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,880 We're fine. We're not fighting. 237 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,215 We're great. Eat your butter-syrup. 238 00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,717 Yeah, keep that chew hole open. [chuckles] 239 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,955 (charles on recording] ♪ stake me out tonight ♪ 240 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,490 ♪ I don't want to let you go till we catch this guy ♪ 241 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,592 It's a shift. Love this song. 242 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,627 I can't even remember the original lyrics anymore. 243 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,761 Hmm. 244 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,829 [camera shutter snapping] 245 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,865 Black suv, female driver. 246 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,800 She's wearing a lot of drab colors, 247 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,969 So we'll call her mrs. Peacock. 248 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,037 Male peacocks are the colorful dressers. 249 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,907 God, how did humans get it so backwards? 250 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,013 Hey, listen, about our alone zone close call-- 251 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,916 We're not gonna start fighting. We never fight. 252 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:38,917 Yeah, totally. Yeah. 253 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,719 That's what I was thinking. 254 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,954 But just to be safe, we could write down 255 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,756 Some of each other's annoying behaviors 256 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,925 That we want to be off-limits, you know? 257 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,593 We could call it "the no-no list." 258 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,596 Oh, I love it. 259 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,533 Okay, so here's what I've got for you. 260 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:55,934 No eating with your mouth open. 261 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:56,935 We knew that. 262 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,169 No rasta-man voice, 263 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,971 No reciting poetry, 264 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,706 No ballroom dancing, no bird calls, 265 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,942 And no male kegels. 266 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,977 Can I do my kegels secretly? Watch this. 267 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,313 You'll never know I'm doing them. 268 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,915 I can definitely tell. 269 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,683 All right, give me my no-no's. 270 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,318 Okay, no butter-syrup, 271 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,320 No talking about die hard... 272 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,022 Okay. I can do that. 273 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,657 Or die hard two or die hard three. 274 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,660 So you just want me to talk about the fourth one? 275 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,994 There's a fourth one? Charles! 276 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,930 No judging me for not knowing the die hards. 277 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,164 All right, fine. What else? Okay. 278 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,266 No eating mayonnaise straight from the jar, 279 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,701 No using my toothbrush. 280 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,902 And that's it. 281 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,605 Jake, this no-no list, it's a slam dunk. 282 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,606 Oop me. 283 00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,741 Ooping. 284 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,176 [grunts, groans] 285 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,345 I'm getting better. 286 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,646 Yeah, you are. 287 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,148 (rosa) you wanted to see me, sir? 288 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,617 Have a seat, diaz. 289 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,254 You remember my nephew marcus? The 31-year-old? 290 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,323 He asked me to ask you if you are single. 291 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,725 I'm told him I'm not a third-grade girl 292 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,627 With pigtails passing love notes. 293 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,128 Yeah, it's so immature. 294 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,830 Precisely. It's embarrassing. 295 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,298 Agreed. 296 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,299 I am single. 297 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,934 Oh. 298 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:03,935 I see. 299 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,204 But if marcus wants my number, 300 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,906 He can ask me for it. 301 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:15,046 But who will tell him that? 302 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,750 Um, yeah. 303 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,018 You took the last danish. 304 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,620 Oh, sorry. 305 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,055 Did you read terry's book about us? 306 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,091 No. He said not to read it. 307 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,796 My character, cricket, is such a pushover. 308 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:32,964 She just lets all the forest folk 309 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,799 Take her magic moose wishes. 310 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,102 Well, June bug is a stone-cold bitch. 311 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:41,172 She told all the baby platy-pups they had weird feet. 312 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,841 Is that how people see us? 313 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,076 Well, you did just steal that danish out of my hand 314 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,211 And start eating it. 315 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,812 And I let you. 316 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,114 And apologized. 317 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,849 Classic cricket move. 318 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,185 Hey, can I just scootch in there to the coffee? 319 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,856 You can scootch your ass back in line. 320 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:01,292 My coffee needs are just as important as yours. 321 00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:05,897 What was that all about? 322 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,399 Terry, I try not to judge people, 323 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:08,900 So I wouldn't know. 324 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,069 Maybe I should go check on little amy 325 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,904 And give her the greatest gift of all-- 326 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,372 A hug. 327 00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,742 Come on. 328 00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,445 Someone use the drop house. 329 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,247 [gasps] the drop house. 330 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,449 Perfect name for a porta-potty company. 331 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,917 As soon as we get out of here, 332 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,986 I am taking that straight to shark tank. 333 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,221 How great is this no-no list? 334 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,858 I mean, we've made it impossible to annoy each other. 335 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,428 We're gonna make out with this stakeout. 336 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:39,130 Mm. [chuckles] 337 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,433 Hey, bud, is rhyming on your no-no list? 338 00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:42,734 No. 339 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,969 Cool, cool. 340 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,373 Just seems pretty close to reciting poetry. 341 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,175 Yeah, yeah. But it's different. 342 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,910 Yeah. It's different. 343 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:52,977 It's different. 344 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,113 [sniffs] 345 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,348 I'm just gonna add it. 346 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,884 Oh, so we can add things now? 347 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,921 I mean, we got the time, and we got the ink. 348 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,255 Everything but the kitchen sink. 349 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,490 What did I just say? 350 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:06,991 Okay. That is under charles. 351 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,727 Sure, sure, sure. Cool, cool, cool... 352 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:12,430 [both rapidly chattering "cool"] 353 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,431 Good. To the window. 354 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,033 Get back in the window. 355 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,270 What is happening? 356 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,939 I got to do this or the bullet holes 357 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,906 In my butt stiffen up. 358 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,775 No talking about your butt holes. 359 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,881 [straining] two... 360 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,082 Three-- 361 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,217 No pull-ups. 362 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,353 No yoga. 363 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,022 [beatboxing] 364 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,023 No beatboxing. 365 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:43,061 No letting it mellow. 366 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,830 No sister act. 367 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,132 No life hacks. 368 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,068 No multi-level marketing schemes. 369 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,904 No calling legitimate business ideas "schemes." 370 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,039 No licking fingers before turning pages. 371 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,040 No impressions. 372 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,175 No tea ceremonies. 373 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,176 No cabbage patch. 374 00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,244 No parkour. 375 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,045 No running man-- movie or the dance. 376 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,147 (jake) no unrequested lullaby. 377 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,016 No lady-style towels. [groans] 378 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,060 Hey. No nose hair trimming. 379 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,796 We're here for eight days, jake. 380 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,364 I don't care. It's on the list. 381 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,432 Well, I hope you like nostril bush. 382 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,401 [scoffs] nostril bush? 383 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,803 All right, no more talking. 384 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,037 No more talking at all. 385 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,505 Fine, I'm putting that on your list too. 386 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,107 That was talking. 387 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:32,410 Okay, fine. In three, two, one. 388 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,545 No talking. Zip it. 389 00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:36,181 [both mouthing words] 390 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:42,554 [cell phone jingling] 391 00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,492 Hey, captain. 392 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,927 How's the operation going? 393 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:49,994 Great, the beach umbrella 394 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,462 Has had nonstop visitors. 395 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,931 "the beach umbrella"? 396 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,166 Bisko's lieutenant who runs the drop site. 397 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,101 We came up with fun little nicknames for everyone. 398 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,903 I'm glad you're amusing yourselves. 399 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,206 People thought you'd be at each other's throats by now. 400 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,308 Do you need a relief team? 401 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,410 What? Nuh-uh-uh! 402 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,945 [whispering] no sassy "nuh-uh-uhs." 403 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:07,946 (holt) what was that? 404 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,147 (jake) uh, nothing. 405 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,481 I just said we don't need a relief team. 406 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,016 Everything's going great. Right, boyle? 407 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,153 Good. See you in a couple of days. 408 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,387 Okay, sounds good. Okay, bye. 409 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,589 Bye-bye now. Bye. I love you. 410 00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:18,890 [cell phone beeps] what? 411 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,263 [elevator dings] 412 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,264 Hold the door. 413 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,265 Sorry, sarge. 414 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,399 Maybe if you did more cardio 415 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,868 And less weights, you'd move faster. 416 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:33,238 We need to be the change we want to see in the elevator. 417 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,041 Door close. Door close. Door open. Door open. 418 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,576 What is going on with you two? 419 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,879 What's going on with you? Love. 420 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:44,949 Time for an emergency stop and talk. 421 00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:45,950 (amy) okay, fine. 422 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,318 You want to know what's going on? 423 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,553 We read your book. 424 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,489 And you should know I'm not a pushover. 425 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,925 And I'm not a stone-cold bitch. 426 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,327 I'm a natural, beautiful presence. 427 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,931 Okay, I'm sorry these characters look like you, 428 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,500 But that's where the resemblance stops. 429 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,904 Sure, June bug is a meanie to the platy-pups, 430 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,373 But she's a sweetheart to the socktopus. 431 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,441 And cricket is a pushover 432 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,210 When it comes to magic moose wishes, 433 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:16,180 But she's very brave in the dolphin wars. 434 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,016 I guess what I'm saying is, 435 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,085 These stories are nonsense. 436 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,487 I love you guys, 437 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,555 But if you're bringing something more to my book, 438 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,491 That's on you. 439 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,593 [elevator whirring] 440 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,228 If you hadn't stopped the elevator, 441 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:33,498 You could have walked off after your great speech. 442 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,433 Now we all got to sit in it. 443 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,070 (holt) marcus, you leaving? 444 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,338 Come, have breakfast with us. 445 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,173 You're up early. 446 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,608 Okay. 447 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:50,081 And detective diaz is here as well. 448 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,083 Hey. 449 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,117 Hello, kevin. 450 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,485 Rosa. Marcus. 451 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,987 Kevin. Uncle ray. 452 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,022 Marcus. And cheddar. 453 00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,624 Cheddar is also here. 454 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,591 Uh, would you care to join us? 455 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,592 (marcus) sure. 456 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:04,295 Shall we sit? 457 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,997 I don't think-- sit. 458 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:09,200 Good, then feel no obligation to stay, rosa. 459 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,601 Detective diaz. 460 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:14,038 Detective rosa diaz is in my breakfast nook. 461 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,406 So who would like french toast? 462 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,108 I can put a bacon smile on it. 463 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,609 My being here is weird. 464 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:19,744 This was a bad idea. 465 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,613 We shouldn't see each other again. 466 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,182 [door opens and closes] 467 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:27,518 Well, detective rosa diaz has left. 468 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,020 Hmm. 469 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:33,391 The only food left in the whole room 470 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:34,525 Is your stupid herring. 471 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,194 Oh, so we're talking now? 472 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,429 Well, I guess so, since words came out of my mouth 473 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,430 And you heard them. 474 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,765 That's glib. No being glib. 475 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:41,766 It's on the list. 476 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,501 I'm so sick of the list. 477 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,103 I don't even know what "glib" means. 478 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,106 Is it something you can hear garfield saying? 479 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,574 If so, it's glib. 480 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,742 So what, you want me 481 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,077 To just be garfield's owner, jon arbuckle? 482 00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:54,312 Think about what you're saying. 483 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,747 He's spineless and bland. 484 00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,548 And by the way, me keeping things light 485 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,551 And being "garfeldian" is the only reason we don't fight. 486 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,786 [laughs] 487 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:02,787 Wrong, baby. 488 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,355 The only reason we don't fight 489 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,724 Is because I never say anything when you annoy me, 490 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,626 Which is constantly, baby. 491 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,161 I just let it roll off. 492 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,729 I'm a duck's back, baby. 493 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,231 Stop saying "baby." 494 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,665 Charles boyle calls people "baby" 495 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,666 When he gets angry. 496 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,101 That's who I am. 497 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,736 And all this is who I am. 498 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,538 And if you don't like this stuff, 499 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,806 Then we shouldn't be friends. 500 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,307 Great. 'cause guess what? 501 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,776 We're not friends. 502 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,478 That's fine with me, baby. 503 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,647 [glass shatters] 504 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,586 Uh-oh. 505 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,624 [sighs] 506 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,527 Well, the operation is blown. 507 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,395 (charles on recording) ♪ stake me out tonight ♪ 508 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,230 ♪ I don't want to let you go till we catch the guy ♪ 509 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,299 Oh, I hate this song. I stand by it. 510 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,837 Well, I'm gonna check this stuff back in. 511 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:53,838 Great. Do it. 512 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,239 Okay. 513 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,240 Then we're done. 514 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,442 Yeah, then we're done. 515 00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,278 (hitchcock) well, well, well. 516 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,448 Looks like boyle's out and hitchcock's in. 517 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,615 What do you want to do tonight? 518 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,616 Go to a strip club? 519 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,151 Have dinner with my wife? 520 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,352 Are those separate options, 521 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,821 Or does she live at the strip club? 522 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,622 You want to know, you got to go. 523 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,224 Okay. 524 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,827 Peralta, thanks to your basketball mishap, 525 00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,161 The drop site has been abandoned, 526 00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,297 And alexei bisko's gone to ground. 527 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,599 We told you eight days was too long for a stakeout. 528 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,801 With all due respect, sir, it wasn't the amount of time. 529 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,236 It's who I was stuck there with. 530 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,171 I could easily have done it with scully. 531 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:30,241 You would've applied that cream to his back? 532 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,342 No, I would've put it on the floor 533 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,443 And let him roll around in it. 534 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,145 This isn't my first rodeo. 535 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,213 You need to find bisko. 536 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,314 You can start by doing door duty, 537 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,548 See if anyone knows where he is. 538 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,616 Take boyle. 539 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,186 Sir, I'd like to request a new partner. 540 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,254 I can't work with charles. 541 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,288 We're not friends anymore. 542 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,289 "friends?" 543 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,491 I don't care if you're friends. 544 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,492 This is not a playdate. 545 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,726 This is your commanding officer 546 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,228 Ordering you to do your job. 547 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,630 But I hope you can live with the fact 548 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,632 That you're forcing people to spend time together 549 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,267 Who would rather not. 550 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,336 I'm fine with that. 551 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,573 Sarge, I need to talk to you about the kid's book. 552 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:03,574 Seriously? 553 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,575 I'm wrapping it right now, 554 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,545 Look, I know the story is nonsense 555 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:11,315 And I'm not a forest nymph who wears armor pantsuits, 556 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,185 But I think it bothered me because sometimes 557 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,554 I can be too much of a pushover. 558 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,690 To be honest, it felt nice to stand up for myself this week. 559 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,292 Good for you, santiago. 560 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,362 I also learned a valuable lesson from your stupid book. 561 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,164 I learned I'm perfect the way I am, 562 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,899 And I should never change. 563 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,436 This is a symbolic gesture. 564 00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,338 I'm speaking to you as a friend, 565 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,339 Not a captain. 566 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,675 And as your friend, 567 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,343 I have this brassiere 568 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,812 You left behind in marcus' room. 569 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:49,487 Also, I just wanted you to know, 570 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,557 Um, I think marcus is great, and-- 571 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,592 And you're great, 572 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,962 And I hope the fact that you and I work together 573 00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,697 Won't prevent you from dating 574 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,201 If that's what you want to do. 575 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,236 I might. 576 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,571 But I don't want to talk to you about it. 577 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,707 Perfect, because I'm not comfortable 578 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,841 Knowing about it. 579 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,978 Great, then let's never talk about it. 580 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,513 Let's never talk about anything. 581 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,681 Done. 582 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,716 This is bisko's aunt's apartment. 583 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,951 Maybe she's seen something. 584 00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:21,752 Let's just get this over with. 585 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,360 (jake) it's bisko. Fire escape. 586 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,428 I'll cut him off at the back. 587 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:34,232 [pixie's what goes boom] 588 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,466 Police! Nypd! 589 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,703 [intense alternative rock music] 590 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:42,373 ♪ ♪ 591 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,008 (man) ♪ fatty had it made ♪ 592 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,377 ♪ like a blade in the sun, like a push in the bush ♪ 593 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,878 (jake) hey! 594 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,313 (man) ♪ when you got none ♪ 595 00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:50,748 ♪ ping pong ♪ 596 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,949 [jake shouting] 597 00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:58,022 Alexei bisko, you're under arrest. 598 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,490 [huffs] 599 00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,491 You okay? 600 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,993 Yeah. 601 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,294 Thanks for having my back. 602 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,929 You don't have to thank me. 603 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,365 I've always got your back. 604 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,300 Look, this whole thing has been so stupid. 605 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,668 Right? 606 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:11,636 Are we friends again? 607 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:12,703 No. 608 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,740 We're brothers. 609 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,008 Gah, that was terrifying! 610 00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,442 Don't pause like that. 611 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,944 Look, brothers fight, 612 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:20,978 But at the end of the day, 613 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,714 They're always there for each other. 614 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:24,949 My brother had sex with my wife, 615 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,318 And then he ran to the florida keys. 616 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,287 One day I'll finish him. 617 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,521 Just be arrested, man. 618 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,356 We're trying to have a moment here. 619 00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,292 Not a doctor. Shh. 619 00:21:35,305 --> 00:22:35,398 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/zk4z Help other users to choose the best subtitles 42693

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