All language subtitles for Human.Nature.200Ray.x265-RARBG

( birds chirping )

( squeaking )

( water gurgling,
man shouting in distance )

( gunshot )

( running footsteps )

( bird cawing )

( squeak squeak )

Woman: LILA!
Man: WHERE'S PUFF?

Woman #2: LILA, LILA,
WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DO IT?

Man: LILA, DO YOU THINK
THIS WILL AFFECT

THE SALES OF YOUR BOOK?

Woman #3: LILA, ARE YOU
SORRY YOU DID IT?

I'M NOT SORRY.

I AM SORRY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT SORRY MEANS ANYMORE.

Lila: I'M NOT SORRY.

SO I SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE IN JAIL.

SO WHAT?

I'VE BEEN IN JAIL
MY WHOLE LIFE ANYWAY...

A JAIL OF BLOOD AND TISSUE

AND COURSING HORMONES,

A JAIL CALLED
THE HUMAN BODY.

THE ONLY THING I KNOW
IS THAT I'M SORRY...

SORRY FOR MY EXPULSION,

SORRY FOR MY LILA
ROTTING IN HER JAIL CELL,

AND SORRY FOR NATHAN...

ROTTING IN HIS GRAVE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT SORRY MEANS ANYMORE.

IT'S ODD.

WHEN I WAS ALIVE,
I KNEW.

MAYBE IT WAS ALL I KNEW.

BUT HERE...

SORRY IS MEANINGLESS.

LOVE IS MEANINGLESS.

JEALOUSY IS MEANINGLESS.

MY STORY BEGINS
WHEN I WAS 12.

JESUS.

SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAPPENED THAT YEAR.

( bell dings )

Lila: MY MOTHER SAID
BECAUSE OF IT,

I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE
TO GET A MAN.

SO I SHOULD
GET USED TO THE IDEA

OF DEDICATING MY LIFE
TO THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE

OR RELIGION OR WHATEVER.

( sobs )

IT'S HORMONAL.

NATURE IS A FUNNY
AND COMPLEX THING.

IT COULD GET WORSE
WITH TIME.

BY THE TIME I WAS 20,
I LOOKED LIKE AN APE.

( imitating chimpanzee )

( sobs )

AAH! AAH!

( grunts )

THE WAY THAT MOUSE
LOOKED AT ME...

IT DIDN'T CARE IF I HAD HAIR
ALL OVER MY BODY.

I WAS JUST WHAT I WAS.

I FELT SO FREE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING?

SOMETHING
ABOUT A MOUSE, RIGHT?

I DON'T THINK
THERE IS ANYONE IN THE WORLD

WHO DOESN'T KNOW BY NOW

THAT I WAS RAISED
IN THE WILDERNESS BY AN APE.

WELL, TO BE FAIR, BY A MAN
WHO THOUGHT HIMSELF AN APE,

BUT IT AMOUNTS
TO THE SAME THING, GENTLEMEN,

DOES IT NOT?

AFTER SPENDING YEARS
IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL

FOR ATTEMPTING
TO TAKE UP RESIDENCE

IN THE APE HOUSE
AT THE LOCAL ZOO,

HE DID HIS BEST
TO LIVE BY YOUR RULES.

HE GOT A JOB, HE MARRIED
A HUMAN, THEY HAD ME.

UNTIL A NATIONAL TRAGEDY UNDID
ALL THOSE YEARS OF THERAPY

AND REMINDED HIM
WHAT THE HUMAN RACE

WAS TRULY ABOUT.

APES DON'T ASSASSINATE
THEIR PRESIDENTS, GENTLEMEN!

( crowd murmurs )

( making apelike noises )

AAH!

SO...

HE STOLE LITTLE ME
FROM MY HUMAN MOTHER

AND RAISED ME WITH LOVE
AND TENDERNESS AND RESPECT.

UNTIL QUITE RECENTLY,
GENTLEMEN,

I BELIEVED MYSELF
TO BE AN APE...

ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T KNOW
SPECIFICALLY WHAT TYPE.

APES DON'T THINK
IN TERMS OF TYPE.

IT MIGHT BE ARGUED,
GENTLEMEN,

THAT APES
DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE APES.

IN RETROSPECT, HOWEVER,

I'D SAY I...

WAS A...

PYGMY CHIMP.

( crowd murmurs )

( camera shutters clicking )

( crowd murmurs )

OO.

UHH-UHH.

I HAVE TO SAY
I ALWAYS HATED APES.

OF COURSE,
I DON'T ANY LONGER.

NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT HATE MEANS.

BUT WHILE ALIVE,
I HATED APES.

I BLAME MY PARENTS.

I MEAN,
I DON'T BLAME THEM.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT BLAME IS, REALLY, ANYMORE,

BUT I THINK
THEY INFLUENCED ME

IN MY APE-HATING
TENDENCIES.

MAMA, LOOK,
MONKEY, MONKEY.

NATHAN, CHIMPANZEES
ARE APES, NOT MONKEYS.

Man: AAH!

AND FURTHERMORE--
HAROLD, TELL THE BOY.

AAH!

TELL HIM, HAROLD.

UH...

THE APE IS OUR CLOSEST
BIOLOGICAL RELATIVE.

SPECIFICALLY...

THE PYGMY CHIMP.

A SINGLE CHROMOSOME
SEPARATES US,

BUT DO YOU KNOW
WHAT TRULY SEPARATES US?

NO, PAPA, WHAT?

CIVILIZATION.

WITHOUT IT,

WE MIGHT AS WELL
BE LIVING IN PENS,

THROWING OUR FECES,

MASTURBATING
IN PUBLIC,

SNIFFING RED
SWOLLEN FEMALE RUMP.

YOUR ADOPTIVE FATHER
AND I

WHISKED YOU AWAY
FROM THE LIFE

THAT MOST CERTAINLY
WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE

OF DEGRADATION
AND ALCOHOLISM.

YOUR PART OF THE BARGAIN

IS TO NEVER WALLOW
IN THE FILTH OF INSTINCT.

ANY DUMB ANIMAL
CAN DO THAT.

Lila: AN ANIMAL
SAVED MY LIFE,

SO I DECIDED
TO GO LIVE AMONG THEM

IN THE FOREST.

YOU SEE, ANIMALS HAVE EYES
THAT DON'T JUDGE.

( sniffs )

LOOK AT ALL THE HAIR.

EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE.

ON THE POSSUM

AND THE WOODCHUCK

AND THE CUDDLY OLD BEAR.

I USED TO BE EMBARRASSED
OF HAIR,

NOT FIT TO CARESS.

NOW I'M SO SURE
IT'S A BLESSING,

I'VE GOT NO NEED
OF DRESSING.

♪ I ONCE THOUGHT GOD ♪

♪ A CREATOR DIABOLICAL ♪

♪ HE GAVE THE NOD
TO EACH ONE OF MY FOLLICLES ♪

♪ HEAD TO MY BABY TOE ♪

( chirps )

♪ NOW I'M FREE ♪

♪ NO MORE CARES ♪

♪ I'VE ACCEPTED
MY MILLIONS OF HAIRS ♪

♪ MY NEW FRIENDS ♪

♪ THESE SPLIT ENDS ♪

♪ FAR AWAY
FROM THOSE TERRIBLE STARES ♪

♪ SQUIRRELS DON'T MIND ♪

♪ NOR DO RAVENS ♪

♪ IF A GIRL IS FURRED
OR CLEAN-SHAVEN ♪

♪ CREATURES ARE KIND ♪

♪ SO I HAVE FOUND
MY NEW GREEN HAVEN ♪

♪ AND I AIN'T GONNA GO ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ONE OF THEM ♪

♪ YOU KNOW ♪

I FIGURED OUT A WAY
TO STAY IN THE WOODS FOREVER.

I BECAME A NATURE WRITER.

"LAST NIGHT,
ON MY MOUNTAINTOP,

"I FELT THE WIND WHIP
THROUGH MY HAIR.

AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

"IT WAS VIOLENT."

( women gasp )

"I ALMOST DIED."

( thunder rumbles )

"ALL MY PETTY CONCERNS
WERE SENT FLYING

"WITH THOSE GALE-FORCE WINDS.

"I WAS IN NATURE.
I WAS NATURE.

AN OTTER, A STORK,
AN OAK TREE..."

AAH!

"A WOMAN."

WHEN I BECAME
A FAMOUS NATURE WRITER,

I SAID TO MYSELF,
"FUCK HUMANITY."

I NEVER SAW MY PUBLIC,
I NEVER SAW MY PUBLISHER,

I NEVER SAW
ANOTHER HUMAN BEING,

AND IT WAS WONDERFUL.

BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT,
BY THE TIME I WAS 30,

I WAS VERY HORNY.

I HAD TO HAVE A MAN
IN MY LIFE.

( moans )

( licking sounds )

( gasps )

( yelps )

I WOULD BECOME
WHAT I NEEDED TO BECOME

TO ACHIEVE THIS.

MY SUCCESS
WOULD ALLOW ME TO AFFORD

TO BECOME A HAIRLESS LIE.

HA HA.

Woman: PROGRESS!
Lila: YEAH?

OH, YEAH.

HONEY, YOU ARE GETTING

SMOOTH, SMOOTH, SMOOTH
ALL OVER,

SMOOTH AS A BABY'S BUTT.

I LOVE IT, LOUISE.

I'M GETTING
LIKE A REAL GIRL.

YEAH. YOU STILL IN THE MARKET
FOR A REAL BOY?

ALWAYS.

'CAUSE...MY BROTHER
KNOWS THIS GUY

MIGHT BE
RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

I COULD USE SOMEONE
UP MY ALLEY.

WHAT IS THAT,
SOMETHING SEXUAL?

SHUT UP AND TELL ME.

HANDSOME, 30s,
PSYCHOLOGIST.

LOVES ANIMALS?
MUST LOVE ANIMALS, LOUISE.

LOVES ANIMALS,
LOVES YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL,
SOMEHOW IT CAME UP

THAT YOU WERE
A FRIEND OF MINE,

AND MR. HANDSOME
ANIMAL-LOVING PSYCHOLOGIST

SAID THAT HE WOULD LOVE
TO MEET YOU.

WON'T HE BE ABLE
TO TELL?

MY BROTHER SAYS THE GUY'S
A 35-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN,

SO MAYBE HE WON'T KNOW
HOW A WOMAN USUALLY FEELS.

PLUS HE HAS BAD EYESIGHT,
ALMOST LEGALLY BLIND,

WHICH IS VERY HELPFUL
IN THIS SITUATION.

PLUS, HE HAS
AN EXTREMELY SMALL PENIS,

OF WHICH HE IS
MORTIFYINGLY ASHAMED,

AND CHANCES ARE
HE WILL BE SO GRATEFUL

FOR ANY
NON-JUDGMENTAL ATTENTION

HE WILL BE YOURS
FOREVER.

HE MUST BE REALLY CLOSE
TO YOUR BROTHER

TO TELL HIM
SUCH PERSONAL STUFF.

YEAH, MY BROTHER'S
HIS SHRINK.

FUCK HUMANITY
WAS A DELIGHTFUL READ.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M A REAL ANIMAL LOVER.

I WORK WITH ANIMALS.

RIGHT NOW,
I'M TEACHING MICE...

WELL...TABLE MANNERS,
TO BE...CANDID.

AND HOW'S IT GOING?

( laughs nervously )

I HOPE YOU DON'T
THINK ME DAFT.

OH, NO.

IT'S IMPORTANT WORK.

IT'S PART OF A LARGER
SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT.

I'M FEDERALLY FUNDED.

WHAT'S
THE LARGER EXPERIMENT?

MY THESIS IS THAT
COURTESY, DECORUM, MANNERS

ARE ALL SADLY LACKING
FROM OUR DAILY INTERCOURSE.

RUDENESS AND VULGARITY
ARE THE NORM.

ERGO, IF I CAN TEACH
TABLE MANNERS TO MICE,

THEN I CAN TEACH THEM
TO HUMANS,

AND IF I CAN TEACH
TABLE MANNERS TO HUMANS,

THEN MAYBE
I CAN MAKE THE WORLD

A LITTLE BIT...SAFER.

LORD, WE THANK YOU
FOR THIS BOUNTIFUL GIFT

WE ARE
ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

All: AMEN.

OH, GOD, NATHAN.
NO.

THAT'S THE WRONG FORK,
YOUNG MAN.

HAROLD, TELL HIM.

THAT'S THE WRONG FORK,
NATHAN.

I'M SORRY. I'LL USE
THE RIGHT ONE. I FORGOT.

HAROLD...

TELL HIM.

IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO GO
TO YOUR ROOM.

AND DO YOU THINK MAYBE

THIS, UH...EARLY CHILDHOOD
INDOCTRINATION

HAS SOMETHING
TO DO WITH YOUR INTEREST

IN TABLE MANNERS
IN THE PRESENT?

SEEMS A TAD CONVENIENT,
DON'T YOU THINK, WENDELL?

WELL, DO YOU HAVE
ANY THOUGHTS, THEN,

ON WHERE THIS PASSION
MIGHT HAVE COME FROM?

IT'S MY WORK.

YOU CAN'T REDUCE
MY PASSION

TO PARENTAL
INDOCTRINATION.

WHY DID PICASSO PAINT?

WHY DID...MOZART COMPOSE?

PICASSO'S FATHER
WAS A PAINTER.

MOZART'S FATHER
WAS A MUSICIAN.

YES, OKAY, NOW YOU'RE
BEING NASTY, WENDELL.

YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF.

I REALLY DIDN'T COME HERE
TO BE MOCKED.

THAT CERTAINLY
WASN'T MY INTENTION.

IT'S MY WORK, WENDELL.
THAT'S ALL.

( electricity sizzles )

( squeals )

VOILÀ.
OH.

THIS LOOKS
WONDERFUL.

YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

OHH.

I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD
TONIGHT, LILA.

MY WORK
IS GOING SPLENDIDLY,

MY PERSONAL...
LIFE--

( softly )
FORK...

FORK.

I'M SORRY?

IT'S JUST THE OUTSIDE FORK
IS USUALLY...

THE SALAD FORK.

OH.

ONE GOES
FROM THE OUTSIDE IN.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I NEVER REALLY
LEARNED THESE THINGS.

IT'S NO BIGGIE.

OH, BOY,
THIS IS GOOD.

I'M S--I'M SORRY
IF I BECAME UPSET.

NO, I'M SORRY.

I'M A LITTLE BACKWARDS
IN SOME WAYS.

IT'S JUST
I REALLY ENJOY YOUR COMPANY.

YOU DO?

YES.

PLEASE...

LILA--

PLEASE DON'T TALK

WHEN YOU HAVE FOOD
IN YOUR MOUTH.

IT--YOU--
YOU'RE SO PRETTY,

AND IT ONLY MARS YOUR--
I'M BEING CRITICAL.

( hits table )

( sighs )

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU THINK I'M PRETTY.

I HAVE SOME PECULIARITIES,
YOU SEE.

I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY,
TOO, NATHAN.

YOU DO?
YES, I REALLY DO.

AND I HAVE
PECULIARITIES ALSO.

WELL, I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE.

OH...

YOU DON'T?
NO.

LIKE WHAT,
FOR EXAMPLE?

LIKE...NOTHING.

I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW IN LOVE
WITH THIS MAN I AM.

OH, LOUISE, HE'S SO CUTE.

EVEN HIS LITTLE PENIS.

IT'S LIKE A LITTLE PIG'S PENIS
OR SOMETHING.

IT'S--OH, IT'S CHARMING.

WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
AN ANIMAL LOVER.

HE'S GONNA FIND OUT, LOU.

YOU'RE A WONDERFUL WOMAN.
HE'S LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

LOUISE, YOU'RE REMOVING HAIR
FROM MY FEET AS YOU SAY THAT.

SO YOU HAVE
A PHYSICAL QUIRK.

BIG DEAL. I TELL YOU WHAT
I FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN--

HIS MIND, PERIOD.

THERE'S A LIMIT.
NO, PERIOD.

END OF SENTENCE,
END OF PARAGRAPH,

CLOSE THE BOOK,
WE'RE DONE.

GIVE ME A MAN WITH INTELLECT--
LIKE MY BROTHER.

I KNOW HE'S AVERAGE LOOKING,
BUT HE'S SO SMART, YOU KNOW?

I COULD CARE LESS
ABOUT THE PACKAGING.

YOU DON'T FUCK
THE PACKAGING.

YEAH, YOU DO.

YOU FUCK THE MIND, LILA.
YOU FUCK THE MIND, PERIOD.

CLOSE THE BOOK,
END THE SENTENCE,

CLOSE THE WHATEVER.

HEY, I HAVE
A REALLY SMART FRIEND FOR YOU.

HE HAS AN I.Q. OF 170.

WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE?

OH, HE'S GORGEOUS.

HE'S...SORT OF A MIDGET.

JESUS, LILA,

I'M NOT DATING
A FUCKIN' MIDGET.

Nathan:
WHAT IS LOVE, ANYWAY?

FROM MY NEW VANTAGE POINT,

I REALIZE THAT LOVE
IS NOTHING MORE

THAN A MESSY CONGLOMERATION
OF NEED, DESPERATION,

FEAR OF DEATH, AND INSECURITY
ABOUT PENIS SIZE.

BUT I'M NOT JUDGING IT.

I KNOW HOW MISERABLE IT IS
TO BE ALIVE.

LISTEN...UM,
I DON'T WANT TO BE DEAD YET.

IS THERE ANY WAY
TO, UH...

HELLO?

NO, I SUPPOSE NOT.

NO BIGGIE.

ANYWAY, LILA MOVED IN.

WE HAD OUR PROBLEMS,

BUT WE BOTH WANTED LOVE
SO BADLY,

WE TURNED A BLIND EYE--
LIKE THE FIRST TIME

I BROUGHT LILA
TO MEET MY PARENTS.

IT'S LOVELY TO FINALLY MEET YOU,
MR. AND MRS. BRONFMAN.

NATHAN'S TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU--

ALL GOOD THINGS,
OF COURSE.

Mrs. Bronfman:
THANK YOU, DEAR.

I'M SORRY.
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME

WHO THIS LITTLE BOY IS?

YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE ADOPTED AN ADDITIONAL SON.

OH.

WAYNE JUST RETURNED
FROM A WEEK AT PEACE CAMP

AND A WEEK
AT SCIENCE CAMP.

TELL EVERYONE
WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED, WAYNE.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION
AND FLATWORM DISSECTION.

( Lila laughs )

VERY NICE
TO MEET YOU, WAYNE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

OUR MOM'S TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

YES, WELL, UM, I WISH
I COULD SAY THE SAME.

BY THE WAY, HIS ELBOW
IS ON THE TABLE.

GOOD BOY.

THAT'S IT?
"GOOD BOY"?

NATHAN, YOU SHOULDN'T BE
SPEAKING TO YOUR MOTHER

IN THAT TONE OF VOICE.

FORGIVE ME,
BUT IT SEEMS TO ME

THAT WAYNE NEEDS
A TAD MORE DISCI--

SORRY, MOM. I DON'T KNOW
WHERE MY HEAD WAS.

WAYNE IS QUITE SELF-DISCIPLINED
FOR HIS AGE.

MEANING....

HE DOES SEEM VERY
DISCIPLINED, BUT I WONDER,

DO YOU THINK IT'S
THE BEST THING FOR A CHILD--

LILA'S A NATURE WRITER,
MOTHER. DID YOU KNOW THAT?

SHE WRITES ABOUT ANIMALS
AND NATURE,

MANY OTHER THINGS ABOUT NATURE
IN ADDITION TO THAT.

WIND, ANIMALS,
UH, WHAT HAVE YOU.

SQUIRRELS.

I LOVE NATURE...

AS LONG AS IT STAYS
IN THE ZOO WHERE IT BELONGS.

( laughing )

HA HA HA HA HA.

( chuckles )

I HATE WAYNE,
DON'T YOU?

( water running )

LISTEN, I'M SORRY
ABOUT MY MOTHER'S REACTION

TO YOUR WORK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THERE?

YOU DIDN'T SEEM SORRY

WHEN YOU WERE LAUGHING
AT HER ENDLESS,

STUPID, CRUEL
ANIMAL JOKES.

I WAS SIMPLY ATTEMPTING
TO KEEP THE EVENING LIGHT.

YOU KNOW I FEEL SIMILARLY
TO YOU ABOUT NATURE.

DO YOU?

OH, YES, OF COURSE.
I LOVE IT.

DO YOU?
OH, DO YOU, DARLING?

IT'S MY FAVORITE,
NATURE.

I'M SO RELIEVED.

LET'S CELEBRATE TOMORROW

WITH A LONG HIKE
IN THE WOODS.

OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.

IS THAT SHAVING CREAM?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHY?

( crowd murmuring )

THEN, GENTLEMEN,
ONE DAY I SAW SOMETHING

I HADN'T SEEN
SINCE MY FATHER'S DEATH.

I SAW OTHER APES.

THEY CHATTERED AWAY
IN WHAT SEEMED TO BE GIBBERISH.

LATER I LEARNED
IT WAS ENGLISH.

NOW I WONDER IF PERHAPS
MY INITIAL ASSESSMENT

HADN'T BEEN CORRECT.

( speaking
foreign language)

( speaking
foreign language )

( laughs )

( speaks
foreign language )

( speaks
foreign language )

I SAW A FLASH OF WHITE.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING.

DEER?

NO. TOO UPRIGHT.

A PERSON?

( grunts )

IT MIGHT BEHOOVE US
TO TURN BACK AT THIS POINT.

IF IT'S A PERSON,

WHY SHOULD WE
GO SEE IT?

IT'S NOT
LIKE IT'S NATURE.

LILA, PEOPLE WHO LIVE
IN THE WOODS

DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN.

WE SHOULD RESPECT
THEIR WISHES.

( grunts in fear )

THIS IS HOW
YOU GET TICKS.

THIS IS IT--
LYME DISEASE.

( pants, sniffs )

FOR GOD'S SAKE,
WHAT ARE YOU--

AN APE
AS I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE,

LIKE ME,
YET DIFFERENT.

AND ALL AT ONCE,
I FELT A HEAT PASS THROUGH ME.

GENTLEMEN,
I WANTED TO TOUCH HER,

CARESS HER,
TO BE ONE WITH HER.

I HAD URGES
I COULD NOT EXPLAIN.

AND SO I DID WHAT ANY ANIMAL
WOULD DO IN THAT SITUATION.

HE BOLTED!

( grunting in alarm )

WHO ARE YOU?

( panting )

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
MY LANGUAGE, DO YOU?

( whimpers )

OHH.

( grunting )

( branch cracks )

OH!

NOW LOOK
WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

IS HE DEAD?
NO.

PLEASE,
PUT SOMETHING ON.

IT'S COLD.
YOU'LL CATCH COLD.

WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE
HE IS, A SURVIVALIST?

I THINK HE'S FERAL.

FERAL? DON'T TOUCH HIM.
HE MIGHT BE DISEASED.

HE MIGHT--
OH, MY GOD. RABIES.

HE LOOKS PERFECTLY FINE.

I THINK WE SHOULD GO.

NATHAN,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

THIS IS FASCINATING.

HERE'S A HUMAN BEING
TOTALLY UNCONTAMINATED

BY CIVILIZATION,

AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO
IS RUN TO THE CAR.

HOLD ON.

AH!

NATHAN, YOU'RE STARTING
TO ANNOY ME.

( whispers )
Forget the mice.

FORGET GUINEA PIGS,
FORGET CATS. MONKEYS, TOO.

I'm on to stage five
with a human subject.

NO.

I--I CAN CHANGE HIM.

I CAN TEACH HIM,

I CAN SAVE THIS
UNFORTUNATE MAN'S LIFE.

NO, I WON'T LET YOU.
IT'S WRONG.

HE'S HAPPY HERE.

HAPPY?
IS HE HAPPY?

NEVER TO KNOW THE LOVE
OF A GOOD WOMAN,

NEVER TO READ MOBY DICK
OR MARVEL AT A MONET.

YOU'D BE TAKING AWAY
HIS FREEDOM.

FREEDOM'S
JUST ANOTHER WORD

FOR NOTHIN' LEFT
TO LOSE, LILA.

( grunting softly )

( French accent )
DOCTOR?

( howling )

GOOD MORNING.

( soft grunting )

( frantic grunting )

( electricity humming )

( growling )

ONLY THREE SHOCKS.

A CHIMP TAKES 15.

THIS IS GOING TO BE
TRÈS SIMPLE, NO, GABRIELLE?

OUI, DOCTOR.

GOOD MORNING, UM...

WE NEED TO GIVE HIM
A NAME, DON'T WE?

OUI.

YOU DECIDE.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY.

REALLY? MY DAY?

YES.

UM, WELL,

I HAD THIS SWEET LITTLE
MONGREL DOGGY NAMED PUFF

WHEN I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL.

PUFF.

THIS ONE REMINDS ME
OF MY DOG--

ALL SHAGGY, SO CUTE.

I LOVED MY DOGGY
VERY MUCH, MONSIEUR.

PUFF IT IS, THEN.

PUFF BRONFMAN.
IS THAT OKAY?

OUI, MONSIEUR.

GOOD MORNING,
PUFF BRONFMAN.

MY NAME IS DR. BRONFMAN,

AND THIS IS MY ASSISTANT
GABRIELLE.

( baby voice )
WE'RE YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY

WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

( normal voice ) WOULD YOU
LIKE SOME SALAD, SON?

( inhales )

Gabrielle:
DR. BRONFMAN!

DR. BRONFMAN!

OH, HI, GABRIELLE.

I JUST WANTED
TO TELL YOU

THAT I VERY MUCH ENJOY
WORKING WITH YOU.

OH.

NOW I'M EMBARRASSED
THAT I SAY THIS.

OH, NO, DON'T BE.

I REALLY ENJOY
HEARING THAT.

YOU'RE A TERRIFIC
ASSISTANT, GABRIELLE.

MERCI. I...

DO YOU, UH...

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GET
A CUP OF COFFEE, PERHAPS?

OH, UM, WELL, UH...

I--I DON'T KNOW.

UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M ON MY WAY TO, UM--

NOW I AM TRULY
EMBARRASSED.

FORGIVE ME.

I SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED
SUCH A STUPID QUESTION.

I KNOW YOU'RE
A VERY IMPORTANT MAN...

NO, DON'T BE SILLY.
DON'T BE SILLY.

YOU'RE SO SWEET.

( crying )

I'M SORRY.

THERE, THERE.
OHH.

YOU KNOW JUST THE RIGHT THING
TO SAY TO ME.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW,
OKAY?

OH, UNLESS--
AM I FIRED NOW?

NO. OF COURSE NOT,
GABRIELLE.

I LIKE IT
WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME.

IS THAT STUPID?

( water running )

( telephone rings )

( ring )

HELLO.

OHH, HI, GABRIELLE.

YES.
Lila: WHO IS IT?

RIGHT, GABRIELLE.
YEAH.

WHO IS IT?

OH, UH--
SOMEONE FROM WORK!

UH, WELL, I THINK

YOU TOOK
THE RIGHT INITIATIVE.

I THINK THAT SHOWS YOU
TO BE VERY WISE.

OH, REALLY?
WHO FROM WORK?

GABRIELLE.

COULD YOU HOLD ON
JUST ONE MINUTE?

YES.

WHO IS IT, NATHAN?

I AM ON A WORK CALL,
AND I--

( gasps )

NATHAN, I--

IT'S HORMONAL.

I CAN'T HELP IT.
I'M SORRY.

Nathan:
YOUR ENTIRE BODY?

Lila: I'M GETTING ELECTROLYSIS.
IT TAKES TIME.

IN THE MEANTIME,
I HAVE TO SHAVE--

YOU HAVE TO SHAVE
LIKE AN APE.

APES DON'T SHAVE,
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

DON'T QUIBBLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

NATHAN, PLEASE DON'T
BE MAD AT ME.

I'M NOT MAD.
I'M DISGUSTED.

I'M THE SAME PERSON
I WAS BEFORE YOU KNEW.

I HAVE TO THINK.
I HAVE TO GO.

AAH!
OH, GOD.

( sobbing )

( whispers )
Oh, my God.

HELLO?
IS SOMEBODY THERE?

Woman's voice:
IT'S A LOVELY DAY, ISN'T IT?

NO, THANK YOU.
I COULDN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE.

IT IS LOVELY
TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

MY APOLOGIES, MADAM.
IT SHAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

MY COMPLIMENTS
TO THE CHEF...

Nathan: "IDIOPATHIC HIRSUTISM
OCCURS IN WOMEN

"WHO HAVE HAIR FOLLICLES
HIGHLY SENSITIVE

TO NORMAL FEMALE
ANDROGEN LEVELS."

YOU ARE LOOKING LOVELY...

Nathan: HOW CAN I FIND MYSELF
IN THIS MESS?

IS MY GIRLFRIEND A MAN?
NO...

BUT, SEE, SHE HAS HAIR.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO.

OH, DOCTOR,
I DID NOT KNOW.

I'M SORRY
TO DISTURB YOU.

I JUST CAME
FOR SOME PAPERS I LEFT.

I'M SORRY
I STARTLED YOU.

I JUST CAME
JUST IN C--

OH, MY GOD.
DID I HANG UP ON YOU?

OUI. PERHAPS I CALLED
AT A BAD TIME.

I AM SORRY.
I'M SORRY, TOO.

I WAS DISTRACTED.

IS EVERYTHING FINE?
OUI.

OHH. PHBBT.
HA HA.

NOW YOU'VE GOT ME
TALKING FRENCH.

HA HA HA.

I WAS IN MY P.J.'s
WHEN I REMEMBERED

I LEFT SOME PAPERS
I NEED TO GO OVER.

SEE? I RUSHED
RIGHT OUT OF THE HOUSE.

I MUST LOOK A MESS.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

I'M IN MY P.J.'s, TOO.

FUNNY, HUH?

MM.

AND HOW IS OUR SON?

WHAT?
OUR SON?

PUFF.

OH, UH...OH.

HE SEEMS FINE.
I GUESS WE WOKE HIM UP.

THE LIGHTS.

I SHOULD TURN THEM OFF.

MAYBE I SING HIM
A LULLABY

MY MAMA SANG TO ME
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

WHEN YOU WERE
A LITTLE FRENCH GIRL?

BUT OF COURSE, SILLY.

WELL, THAT MIGHT BE
VERY SOOTHING.

FOR HIM...

TO HEAR THAT.

♪ FAIS DODO ♪

♪ LOLO LA PETITE POIRE ♪

♪ FAIS DODO ♪

♪ T'AURAS DES COLAS ♪

♪ MAMAN EST EN HAUT
QUI FAIT DU GÂTEAU ♪

♪ PAPA EST EN BAS...
FAIT DU CHOCOLAT ♪

THERE. SHALL WE
CLOSE UP, THEN?

I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS,
BUT...

YOU'RE A PRETTY GIRL,
GABRIELLE.

REALLY?

OH, I ALWAYS
THINK OF MYSELF SO UGLY.

NO.

NO, NOT UGLY,
BUT PLAIN, A WALLFLOWER.

YOU'RE A VERY PRETTY GIRL.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.
YOU SHOULD BE CONFIDENT.

OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

MERCI.

IT'S SO WONDERFUL

TO HEAR A MAN SAY
SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT.

IT'S TRUE.
I WOULDN'T LIE.

YOU ARE SWEET TO ME.

SO SOFT.

DOCTOR!

I'M SORRY.

SHH.

( indistinct )

MORE...

HAIR.

( sobbing )

( Nathan and Gabrielle
moaning )

Woman's voice:
MY INSEAM IS 36 INCHES.

MY SHOES ARE SIZE 11.

I SAW IT, GENTLEMEN.

I SAW THE WHOLE SWEATY,

PASSIONATE, UGLY,
BEAUTIFUL ACT,

AND TO USE THE VERNACULAR...

I WANTED ME SOME OF THAT.

HA HA HA HA.

AND I THINK I UNDERSTOOD
FROM THAT MOMENT

THAT IN ORDER TO GET SOME,

I WOULD HAVE TO PLAY
THEIR GAME.

EXCELLENT, PUFF.
EXCELLENT.

EXCELLENT.

NOW, THE LADY YOU'RE WITH
EXCUSES HERSELF

TO GO POWDER HER NOSE.

( polygraph scratching )

AH.

HA HA HA HA.

PERFECT, PUFF.
PERFECT.

Gabrielle: BRAVO.

( sighs )

I STILL FEEL GUILT, UH,
EVEN DEAD.

ONE WOULD HAVE HOPED
THAT, UH...

YOU KNOW,
I REALLY DID LOVE LILA.

IT'S JUST THAT
WITH HER...PROBLEM,

AND THEN WHEN GABRIELLE
REVEALED HER FEELINGS, I...

SHE WAS JUST SO
CONVENTIONALLY FEMALE.

SHE HAD THAT ACCENT.

I, UH, I WAS LOST
FROM THEN ON.

ARE YOU SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE, NATHAN?

I'M SORRY TO ASK, BUT I FEEL
LIKE I NEED TO KNOW.

COURSE NOT.

IT WOULD BE HELPFUL
TO KNOW.

NO.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, LATELY
YOU SEEM SO DISTANT.

YOU WORK LATE EVERY NIGHT,
WE HARDLY EVER HAVE SEX,

AND WHEN WE DO,
IT'S... ( sobs )

SHH.

DIFFERENT.

I'VE JUST BEEN PREOCCUPIED
LATELY, THAT'S ALL.

WELL...

DO YOU LIKE
MY NEW LOOK?

IT'S--IT'S NICE.

REALLY?

I'M TRYING, YOU KNOW.

I'M TRYING
TO BE WHAT YOU WANT.

I WANT TO BE WHAT YOU
WANT ME TO BE, NATHAN.

ALL I WANT IS--
SHH!

YOU'RE EXACTLY
WHAT I WANT.

REALLY?

SURE.

OF COURSE.

I'M REALLY TRYING.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

LOUISE SAID THAT I ONLY HAVE
TWO MORE YEARS OF ELECTROLYSIS.

THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH.

AND I SIGNED UP
FOR A BALLET CLASS.

LOOK AT MY NAILS.
LIKE A REAL GIRL!

THAT'S A GREAT COLOR
ON YOU.

OH, NATHAN,
LET'S HAVE A BABY.

OO.
OHH.

SO THAT'S THE NIGHTMARE
I'VE BEEN HAVING,

AND I CAN'T
FOR THE LIFE OF ME

FIGURE OUT
WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

I THINK IT MAY BE
ABOUT LILA.

LILA? HOW?

WELL, EVER SINCE SHE BROACHED
THE SUBJECT OF CHILDREN,

YOU'VE BEEN ON EDGE,

AND I KNOW YOU HAVE AN ISSUE
WITH HER BODY HAIR.

OH, I SEE.

WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING
TO CONSIDER.

I FELT IT HAD MORE TO DO
WITH CHILD-REARING CONCERNS--

THE MONKEY BABY REPRESENTING
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY...

NATHAN.

I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU
LOOK AT YOUR FEELINGS FOR LILA.

WELL, I LOVE LILA.

SHE'S WONDERFUL,
AND, UH, SHE LOVES ME.

THAT'S--THAT'S
NO SMALL POTATOES.

SHE'S A GOOD PERSON.

THAT'S PRETTY RARE
IN THIS WORLD.

HOW COULD I
STOP LOVING SOMEONE

BECAUSE OF A LITTLE
P-PH-PHYSICAL IMPERFECTION?

IF IT CAN EVEN
BE CALLED THAT.

AND HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT GABRIELLE?

Puff: "GOOD EVE-NING,

LAY-DEES
AND GEN-TEL-MEN."

GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

( faster ) GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

BRAVO, PUFF.
BRAVO.

ISN'T PUFF DOING
SPECTACULARLY, HONEY?

Gabrielle: NATHAN,
WE HAVE TO TALK, YOU AND I.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

MY LITTLE
FRENCH POODLE.

STOP. GET AWAY.
WHAT?

YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE,
NATHAN.

IT IS LIKE
SOPHIE'S CHOICE,

ONLY IT IS
NATHAN'S CHOICE.

DID YOU EVER SEE
THAT MOVIE SOPHIE'S CHOICE?

IT IS LIKE THAT,
ONLY IT IS THIS.

I'M--I'M TRYING
TO SORT THINGS OUT.

NO. IT IS NOW
THAT YOU MUST DECIDE!

I LOVE YOU, DR. NATHAN.

BUT I WILL NOT WAIT.

I WILL NOT BE YOUR CHIPPY,

YOUR LITTLE MADEMOISELLE,
PARLEZ-VOUS SIDE DISH.

I WANT TO HAVE

A SWEET...TINY BABY

INSIDE MY BELLY...

FROM YOU.

( seagull crying,
waves crashing )

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
GABRIELLE.

BUT...BUT...

THERE IS A BUT, NATHAN!

I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO LEAVE LILA.

GOOD-BYE, NATHAN!

OH, NATHAN...

( blender running )

I'M SO HAPPY!

I KNOW EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE JUST GREAT!

( blender stops )

( pours liquid )

VOILÀ.

HERE.

VOILÀ.
OH, THANKS.

HOW'S WORK?

CRUDDY.
ARE YOU SATISFIED?

I DON'T WANT YOUR WORK
TO BE CRUDDY.

I'M SORRY.

MY ASSISTANT
QUIT TODAY.

OH.

HE WAS HIGHLY VALUABLE
TO THE PROJECT.

WELL, BABY,
I'M SO SORRY.

CAN YOU FIND
SOMEBODY ELSE?

I GUESS.
WHATEVER.

HEY! I COULD
COME WORK FOR YOU.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN
THAT SUPPORTIVE OF THE PROJECT,

BUT I'VE COME AROUND.

IT'S A WONDERFUL PROJECT,

YOU TAKING THAT
POOR UNCIVILIZED CREATURE

AND TURNING HIM
INTO A HUMAN BEING.

WHAT A COMPASSIONATE,
KIND MAN YOU ARE.

I HAD SOLD MY FUCKING SOUL.

I LET HER SELL HER SOUL.

I STOOD BY AS SHE DID IT.

IT'S INEXCUSABLE.

AT THE TIME, THOUGH, I THOUGHT
IT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR HER.

WHEN SHE CAME TO WORK
WITH NATHAN, GENTLEMEN,

SHE SEEMED DIFFERENT--

I DON'T KNOW,
SOMEHOW SOULLESS.

( woman singing opera )

( whispering )

Shh.

( humming )

BRAVO!

BRAVO TO YOU, PUFF.

BRAVO!

TAME ME, DARLING!

TAME YOUR LITTLE
MONKEY OF LOVE!

( moans )

WELL, I'M TAMED,
DR. BRONFMAN.

I'M GLAD...

MY ASSISTANT.

OH.

( inhales )

( inhales )

( swishes wine )

( swallows )

THANK YOU.

"I'LL START TODAY
WITH THE FOIE GRAS."

( sniffs )

♪ I GOTTA CROW ♪

♪ I GOTTA CROW ♪

♪ I GOTTA CROW ♪

Woman's voice: ...AND RAISED
TO THE HEIGHTS OF CULTURE

AND REFINEMENT--

THIS IS THE PRICELESS GIFT
BESTOWED UPON ME

BY DR. NATHAN BRONFMAN.

END OF TAPE 43.

I THINK HE'S READY.
OH, BOY!

OH, BOY.

NOW, PUFF,

WE'RE LEAVING
THE ELECTRIC COLLAR ON.

I DON'T THINK
WE'LL NEED TO SHOCK YOU,

BUT JUST IN CASE.

OKAY, THAT'S FAIR.

OH!

( inhales )

OH...

CONGRATULATIONS.

OH. OH, THANK YOU.

OH, PUFF, BAD!

UHH!

AHEM.

MY APOLOGIES, MADAM.

IT'S ALL RIGHT,
PUFF.

SHAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

SHALL WE?

( horn honks )

( siren wailing )

( slow piano music playing )

THIS IS GREAT, PUFF.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.

I'M LOVING THIS.

IT'S SUCH A TREAT
TO BE OUT AND ABOUT.

WHAT A WONDERFUL INVENTION
THE CITY IS--

THE IMMENSE BUILDINGS
OF GLASS AND STEEL

GLINTING
IN THE AFTERNOON SUN,

THE SMARTLY DRESSED WOMEN
IN THEIR BEST SUMMER FROCKS,

THE COLORFUL STREET VENDORS.

HOW IS EVERYTHING?

JUST SPECTACULAR.
GREAT SALMON.

FANTASTICO.
YOU GOTTA GIVE ME THE RECIPE.

MY COMPLIMENTS
TO THE CHEF.

I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
CHEF WILL BE VERY--

PLEASE.

( grunting )

NO!
UHH!

AAH!

SO, WILL THAT BE ALL?

IT SHAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN,
I SWEAR.

I...I'M JUST GETTING
MY SEA LEGS, YOU KNOW?

IT'S AN ANIMAL URGE,
PUFF.

IT'S NOTHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF.

LILA...

TELL HIM.

YOU HAVE TO
CONTROL IT.

WE'RE NOT MONKEYS.

LILA!

GOOD.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.

YOU'RE DOING
VERY NICELY.

I'M PLEASED.

EXCELLENT.

( pants )

GREAT.

( grunting )

AAH!

Nathan: BAD PUFF.

Puff: ASS.

( grunts )

( sniffs ) OHH!

( Puff grunting
and screaming )

PHBBT.

EXCELLENT WORK,
PUFF.

EXTRA DESSERT
TONIGHT.

YAHOO!

TOMORROW,
THE ACID TEST.

( rock music playing )

HI. HOW Y'ALL
DOING TODAY?

VERY WELL.

VERY WELL.

VERY WELL.

GOOD ENOUGH.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

PUFF, WHY DON'T YOU
ORDER FIRST?

UH, WHAT'S A REUBEN,
PLEASE?

WHAT'S A WHAT,
SWEETHEART? A REUBEN.

THAT'S A SANDWICH WITH
CORNED BEEF AND SAUERKRAUT--

FINE! THAT'S WHAT
I'LL HAVE.

CORNED BEEF
IS A GOOD DECENT MEAT,

AND--SOMEONE ELSE
PLEASE GO NOW, PLEASE?

( groans )

I'M PROUD OF YOU,
PUFF.

YOU DID REMARKABLY WELL
UNDER DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES.

ABSOLUTELY.
DID I?

I TRIED SO HARD.
I REALLY CONCENTRATED.

OH, I'M SO HAPPY!

AND BECAUSE
YOU DID SO WELL,

WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.

EXTRA DESSERT?
EVEN BETTER.

SURPRISE.
SURPRISE.

FREE TO COME AND GO
AS YOU PLEASE.

THERE'S EVEN
SOME "MAD MONEY"

IN THE NIGHT TABLE
DRAWER FOR YOU.

IT--IT'S WONDERFUL.

DO YOU THINK I'M READY?
DO YOU REALLY?

I TRUST YOU'LL MAKE
GOOD, MATURE DECISIONS.

I TRUST YOU'LL DO
THE PROPER THING.

OH, I WILL.

YOUR VERY TRUST
HAS INSTILLED

AN ENORMOUS SENSE
OF RESPONSIBILITY IN ME.

I DON'T WANT
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.

GOOD. REMEMBER,
WHEN IN DOUBT,

DON'T EVER DO
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO.

THAT'S THE KEY.

GOT IT.

OH, SORRY, DARLING.
HA HA HA HA.

Woman's voice:
WHEN SOME THINGS ARE KNOWN,

OF WHICH THE ONE INHERES
IN THE OTHER

OR IS LOCALLY DISTANT--

...IS RELATED IN SOME WAY
TO THE OTHER,

THE MIND STRAIGHTAWAY KNOWS,

BY VIRTUE OF THAT SIMPLE
APPREHENSION OF THOSE THINGS,

WHETHER THE THING INHERES OR
DOES NOT INHERE, WHETHER IT--

I'M GONNA GO DOWN
AND CHECK ON PUFF,

SEE HOW HE'S HOLDING UP.

SHOULD I COME?

NAH. YOU JUST RELAX.
HOW'S THE BOOK?

MM. GOOD.

WON'T BE LONG.

( no accent )
UGH. FORGET IT.

MAYBE I'LL STAY HERE
AND GET SHITFACED AGAIN.

Woman: THAT'S
A CLASSY IDEA.

IT PASSES THE TIME,
DOESN'T IT?

( knock on door )

YEAH, WHAT?!

Nathan: HI.
IT'S NATHAN.

AND THEN SHE RAN INTO
HER OLD BOYFRIEND--

CALL YOU BACK.

( French accent )
YOU BASTARD!

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANTED TO TALK.

YOU HAVE MADE
YOUR DECISION,

MR. STINKY AMERICAN.

I'VE GOT SOME THINGS
TO TELL YOU.

LIKE WHAT?

WELL, I THINK
IT WOULD BE EASIER

IF I COULD TALK TO YOU
FACE TO FACE.

WHAT FOR?!

I THINK--
YOU THINK TOO MUCH!

YOUR WHOLE HEART
IS ONE BIG THING

WITH LOTS OF "THINKS"
IN IT.

( furniture creaks )
FULL OF THINKS!

SO MANY, YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO THINK AT ALL!

WHAT?
( vacuum running )

YOU HEARD ME!

YOU MAKE ME
WANT TO BE SICK

WHEN YOU PRETEND
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT I AM SAYING
TO YOU.

GO AWAY FROM HERE!
( water running )

OKAY.
UH, LOOK, UM...

( brushing teeth )

I'M SORRY
TO HAVE BOTHERED YOU.

( indistinct )
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY!

COME IN IF YOU MUST!

THE DOOR'S OPEN,
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

( gargles, spits )

( jazz playing )

IN HERE, YOU LOUSY PIECE
OF MERDE.

WELL?

GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

PLEASE,
I LOOK A MESS.

NO, YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

ANYWAY, COME ALREADY
TO THE POINT.

I'M GOING TO LEAVE LILA.

I CAN'T STOP THINKING
ABOUT YOU.

I'VE MOVED ON.

I LOVE YOU, GABRIELLE.

JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME
TO LET LILA DOWN EASY.

SHE'S A REALLY NICE GIRL,

AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT HER
ANY MORE THAN NECESSARY.

YOU HURT ME,
YOU KNOW...

WHEN YOU MADE
NATHAN'S CHOICE.

DOES THAT NOT EVEN MATTER
TO YOU, YOU PIG?

( choking )

( sighs, whistling )

HI.

YOU WERE GONE
A LONG TIME.

YEAH, WELL,
PUFF AND I GOT INTO

A BIG PHILOSOPHICAL
DISCUSSION.

HE REALLY IS
QUITE WELL-READ

CONSIDERING HE'S ONLY
BEEN LITERATE FOR A MONTH NOW.

HE'S GONNA MAKE US
REALLY FAMOUS, LILA.

SO, HE'S DOING OKAY?
YES.

VERY WELL.

JUST A QUIET EVENING
ENJOYING HIS NEW DIGS.

THAT'S FUNNY,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I JUST WENT
AND PICKED HIM UP

AT A FLOPHOUSE
ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE--

HE CALLED AFTER HE RAN OUT
OF HIS MAD MONEY--

WHERE HE'D SPENT
THE ENTIRE EVENING DRINKING,

WATCHING STRIPPERS,
AND FUCKING A WHORE.

SO WHAT DID YOU DO
TONIGHT, HONEY?

UH...SHIT.

WHAT DID YOU DO
TONIGHT, HONEY?

I'M IN LOVE
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE, LILA.

AND WHAT DID YOU DO
TONIGHT?

I FUCKED HER, OKAY?
I FUCKED HER.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GAVE UP
TO BE WITH YOU?

YES.

I GAVE UP MY SOUL!

I GAVE UP MY BELIEFS,
I GAVE UP MY BODY HAIR!

SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,

I GIVE YOU
DR. NATHAN BRONFMAN

AND PUFF.

( applause )

THANK YOU.

LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.

HERE WE HAVE PUFF
ON THE DAY OF HIS CAPTURE.

( crowd murmurs )

( growling
and snarling )

( knock on door )

NO MAID SERVICE!

CAN'T YOU READ THE FUCKING
"DO NOT DISTURB" SIGN

HANGING
ON MY FUCKING DOORKNOB?!

LILA, IT'S LOUISE.

GO THE FUCK AWAY,
LOUISE.

TO SAY THAT HE TOOK ME
FROM CRAYONS TO PERFUME

WOULD BE
A VAST UNDERSTATEMENT.

DR. BRONFMAN TOOK ME
FROM PLAYING WITH MY OWN FECES,

THEN TO CRAYONS,

THEN TO AN APPRECIATION
OF THE COMPLEX WORKS

OF FRANZ KLINE, JOSEPH BEUYS,
MARCEL DUCHAMP,

FROM COMPULSIVE
MASTURBATION--

THIS IS WHO I AM, LOUISE.

THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

THIS IS ME, AND I DON'T WANT
TO PRETEND ANYMORE.

I OFFER YOU ELECTROLYSIS
BECAUSE, JEEZ,

THAT'S ALL I HAVE
TO OFFER.

BUT I WANT WHATEVER
MAKES YOU HAPPY, OKAY?

DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?

NO.

WHY WON'T THEY LET ME
BE HAPPY?

( sobbing )

OH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

I DON'T--

AND I KILLED PUFF.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.
PUFF'S NOT DEAD.

SORT OF, HE IS
AND SORT OF I DID IT.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU COME HOME
WITH ME.

I'M GONNA
FIX YOU RIGHT UP,

WORK AROUND THE CLOCK
TILL IT'S DONE.

AND SO,
GOOD NIGHT, ADIEU,

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.

AU REVOIR.

YOU WERE WONDERFUL.
WAS I?

I WASN'T
A TAD STIFF?

DON'T BE SILLY.

AND YOU...

WERE WONDERFUL, TOO.

I ESPECIALLY LIKED
THE WAY YOU SAID, "AU REVOIR."

COME ON, YOU TWO.

LET'S GO CELEBRATE.

( banging )

( Gabrielle moaning )

OOH, THAT'S NICE.
MY NAME'S PUFF.

( applause )

AND NOW, THE TANGO.

( tango music playing )

( zap )

( zap )

I THOUGHT
IT WENT SPLENDID TODAY.

YOU TWO MAKE
AN EXCELLENT TEAM.

HA HA HA.
FANTASTIQUE.

( banging )

( zap )

( zap )

TO BE TAKEN FROM THE DEPTHS
OF DEPRAVITY AND IGNORANCE

AND RAISED TO THE HEIGHTS
OF CULTURE AND REFINEMENT--

THIS IS THE PRICELESS GIFT

BESTOWED ON ME
BY DR. NATHAN BRONFMAN.

( zap )

( blows ) DONE.

AAH! AAH!

Lila: WHOO!
( unzips pants )

Gabrielle: SO, WE HAVE
17 NEW BOOKINGS,

MY WONDERFUL MAN.

Nathan: TERRIFIC.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE
RICH AND FAMOUS.

THANKS TO YOU, NATE.

THANKS TO YOU, BUDDY,

AND YOUR DILIGENCE
AND YOUR INTELLIGENCE

AND PERSEVERANCE,

AND, OF COURSE,
TO YOU, MY SWEET, FOR YOUR--

FOR YOUR MORAL SUPPORT.

HEAR, HEAR.

EXCUSE ME.

ARE YOU
DR. BRONFMAN?

YES.

IS THAT A LITTLE BOY?

OH, NO, PUFF,
THIS IS A DWARF.

I GUESS THEY PREFER
TO BE CALLED "LITTLE PEOPLE,"

ISN'T THAT CORRECT,
MY GOOD MAN?

IN ACTUALITY, I'D PREFER
TO BE CALLED DR. EDELSTEIN.

AH, YES.

UM, WELL,
DR. EDELSTEIN

IS A FULLY GROWN ADULT,
PUFF, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

WHO, DUE TO
A GENETIC ANOMALY--

ACHONDROPLASIA.

DUE TO ACHONDROPLASIA,

IS ACTUALLY
A MINIATURE HUMAN BEING.

INTERESTING.

NOW,
DR. EDELSTEIN,

WHAT IS IT
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?

FOR STARTERS,
YOU CAN FIND YOUR WAY

INTO THAT LUDICROUS
LUCITE CASE.

NOT YOU.
NOT YOU.

LOOK,
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?

WE HAVE NO MONEY
ON THE PREMISES.

PLEASE, IF YOU'RE FROM
SOME LITTLE PERSON--

OR RATHER, ACHONDROPLASIAC
TERRORIST GROUP,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR CAU--

I'M BEGINNING TO TIRE
OF YOU, DR. BRONFMAN.

( footsteps )

LILA?

SURPRISED,
DEAR HEART?

THIS IS LILA?

YES, THIS IS LILA...
CUNT.

AMERICAN,
AND PROUD OF IT.

( whimpers )

THE HAIR'S GONE, NATHAN,
ALL TAKEN CARE OF,

AND I HAVE MUSCLES NOW,

AND I GET LOOKS EVERY DAY
IN THE STREET.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

DO YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME,
NATHAN, OR WHAT?

YES.

POOR BABY.

THANK YOU, FRANK.
YOU'RE THE BEST.

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
FOR YOU, MY DEAR.

FRANK AND I BOTH KNOW
WHAT IT IS TO BE SHUNNED

BECAUSE OF OUR APPEARANCE.

THE ATTEMPT
TO FORCE HUMAN BEINGS

TO DESPISE THEMSELVES
IS WHAT I CALL HELL.

ANDRÉ MALRAUX.
AMEN.

SORRY. PARKING'S A BITCH
AT THIS PLACE.

THERE'S AN OVERFLOW LOT
ACROSS THE STREET.

YEAH, I FOUND IT.

JUST OVER ON TILTON.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT.

RIGHT NEXT TO
THE V.A. HOSPITAL.

Nathan: AND WE'D BE HAPPY
TO VALIDATE YOUR STUB.

TIE HIM UP.

WITH PLEASURE.

Louise: ALL RIGHT, FIFI,
GIVE ME THE HANDS.

DU TEMPS QUE LA NATURE
EN SA VERVE PUISSANTE?

CONÇEVAIT CHAQUE JOUR
DES ENFANTS MONSTRUEUX.

J'EUSSE AIME VIVRE
AUPRÈS D'UNE JEÛNE GÉANTE.

( chuckling )

COMME AUX PIEDS D'UNE REINE
UN CHAT VOLUPTUEUX?

OUI?

( starts engine )

STAY.

BAD.

GET UP.

STOP.

TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

COME ON.

OFF.

Lila: WE'RE GOING BACK
TO NATURE, YOU AND I.

I'M GOING TO RETRAIN YOU.

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU
FREE AGAIN.

BUT I LIKE
BEING HUMAN NOW.

( electricity crackles )
AAH!

I WANT TO BE
THE WAY I WAS BEFORE?

GOOD.

AND I'M GONNA
SHOW YOU HOW.

AND SO BEGAN
MY RE-EDUCATION, GENTLEMEN.

LILA TAUGHT ME SO MUCH.

SHE WAS A STERN
BUT FAIR TEACHER,

AND OVER TIME,
I BEGAN TO REMEMBER

THE JOY OF LIVING
IN A PURE STATE OF BEING.

BUT SOMETHING ELSE
HAPPENED AS WELL,

SOMETHING PERHAPS
DISTINCTLY HUMAN.

( sniffs )

BOY, YOU LOOK SO GOOD
FROM THIS ANGLE.

SHH.
SORRY.

( electricity crackles )
AAH!

OO. OO.

( breathing heavily )

( growls playfully )

( electricity crackling )

Woman's voice: YOU ARE LOOKING
LOVELY THIS EVENING.

HELLO, MY NAME IS PUFF.

( indistinct )

DO YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME,
NATHAN, OR WHAT?

HUH? ( kisses him )

I THINK SOMETHING
IS WRONG WITH NATHAN.

I DO THINK SOMETHING
IS WRONG, NATHAN.

YOU HAVE CHANGED.
YOU ARE MOODY.

YOU LASH OUT.

I FEEL WHEN YOU
MAKE LOVE TO ME,

YOU REALLY MAKE LOVE
TO SOMEONE ELSE.

HE HARDLY LOOKS AT ME

DURING OUR
LOVEMAKING SESSIONS.

I'D NEVER STOP LOOKING AT YOU
IF YOU WERE MY GIRL.

MOTHER, WILL YOU PLEASE
TELL WAYNE

TO STOP HITTING
ON MY GIRLFRIEND?

HE'S A SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY,
NATHAN.

HE'S HITTING ON HER.
THAT'S NOT HITTING ON HER?

CALM DOWN. NO ONE'S
HITTING ON ANYONE.

MAYBE YOU COULD LEARN
SOMETHING FROM YOUR BROTHER

ABOUT HOW
TO TREAT A WOMAN.

DO YOU NO LONGER
LOVE ME OR WHAT?

TELL ME NOW!

( cocks pistol )

( grunts in fear )

JUST AS I SUSPECTED.

GET DOWN FROM THE TREE.

( grunts )

OH, PLEASE.

IS THAT AS ARTICULATE
AS YOU CAN BE?

( grunts )

AFTER ALL THE TIME
I SPENT TEACHING YOU.

WE'VE DISCUSSED WITTGENSTEIN,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.

NOT THAT YOU EVER HAD
ANYTHING ENLIGHTENING

TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT.

OH, DON'T WORRY, LILA.
I'M ONLY HERE FOR PUFF.

( grunts )

I HAVE GABRIELLE NOW.

SHE'S A WONDERFUL GIRL,

NOT SOME SWEATY, DIRTY,

LUSTY...GIRL.

( grunts )

CAN I TOUCH YOU, LILA?

JUST SMELL YOU,

HOW YOU SMELL NOW--

ALL DIRTY AND POWERFUL.

PLEASE TEACH ME
HOW TO BE AN APE, TOO.

I'LL STUDY REAL HARD.

SEE, I--
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING.

I'M NOT REALLY GOOD
AT IT YET,

BUT WATCH.

I'M TRYING.

( grunting )

( growls )

PUT THE GUN DOWN.

PLEASE, LET'S BE REASONABLE
HUMAN BEINGS HERE.

LOOK, YOU AND LILA STAY
AND HAVE YOUR NATURAL LIFE.

I'LL GO.
YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

I'M NOT A...APE.

CAN I TALK?
I HAVE TO TALK.

HELLO, NATHAN.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN
MY POSITION.

BEFORE YOU FOUND ME, I WAS
A SIMPLE, COMPLETE BEING

IN HARMONY WITH MY WORLD.

AFTER YOU,
I BECAME DUPLICITOUS, ANAL,

TOTALLY OUT OF TOUCH
WITH MY SURROUNDINGS.

IN A WORD, NATHAN,
I...BECAME YOU.

LILA HAS REINTRODUCED ME
TO MYSELF.

HELLO, LILA.

I LOVE AND HONOR YOU.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
PUT THE GUN DOWN.

PLEASE!

DON'T INTERRUPT ME.

HOW VERY RUDE...OF YOU.

WO--WO--WOH--WOH--

WORDS. WORDS,
WORDS, WORDS.

WORDS ARE EVIL.

ARE THEY NOT EVIL,
THESE WORDS WE USE?

HMM? DOES ANYONE KNOW
THE DEFINITION

OF "SIMULTANAGNOSIA"?

I WAS INTENDING TO LOOK IT UP
BEFORE LILA SAVED ME.

IT'S THE INABILITY
TO PERCEIVE ELEMENTS

AS COMPONENTS
OF A WHOLE.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
MY PLEASURE.

DON'T MENTION IT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

STOP!

OKAY, NOW I'M CONFUSED.

NOTHING'S RIGHT.
I NEED TO MAKE SENSE.

I NEED--NEED--
NEED TO MAKE...SENSE!

I NEED--I NEED--
I NEED--

I NEED TO MAKE SENSE.

PUFF.
I NEED TO MAKE--

YOU'RE AGITATED.

I TALK! I! I TALK!

NOT YOU! I!

I TALK!

( off-key )
♪ I SING ♪

I DANCE.

( whispers )
All right.

I KILL YOU, HMM?

NO.
YES.

NO.
YES.

( caws )

( mice squeak )

AND THEN...

I SHOT NATHAN.

THEN LILA SHOT NATHAN.

THEN PUFF SHOT ME.

THEN I DIED.

THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

THAT'S THE END OF MY STORY.

DO I GO TO HEAVEN NOW?

OR IS IT HELL?

OR WHAT?

I JUST STAY HERE?

I--I JUST STAY HERE
AND TELL IT AGAIN?

PUFF.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WAS
AS MUCH MY FAULT AS NATHAN'S.

I'M GONNA TURN MYSELF IN
FOR THE MURDER.

I WON'T LET YOU DO THAT.

STAY HERE IN THE WOODS.

THIS IS A SACRIFICE
I NEED TO MAKE.

THEN I'LL LIVE
FOR BOTH OF US.

I'LL BE THE MOST FREE,
TRUEST ANIMAL

IN THE WHOLE FOREST.

THAT'S WHAT
I'M COUNTING ON.

BUT FIRST GO BACK
AND TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS

ABOUT...THE WAYWARDNESS
OF HUMANKIND.

OKAY.

IF YOU THINK
IT'LL HELP.

AND SO, GENTLEMEN,
THAT IS MY STORY.

I AGREED TO TESTIFY
BEFORE THIS COMMITTEE

BECAUSE I HOPED TO CONVEY
TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC

THAT THERE IS INDEED
A PARADISE LOST.

HUMAN BEINGS
HAVE BECOME SO ENAMORED

OF THEIR
INTELLECTUAL PROWESS

THAT THEY'VE FORGOTTEN
TO LOOK TO THE EARTH

AS A TEACHER.

THIS IS HUBRIS,
MY FRIENDS.

AND MY STORY OF DESTRUCTION
AND BETRAYAL IS PROOF OF THAT.

I WILL KEEP MY PROMISE
TO LILA.

I WILL SHED THIS SUIT

AND RETURN
TO THE WILDERNESS.

I WILL LIVE OUT MY DAYS
NAKED AND FREE.

THANK YOU, SIR,
AND GOD BLESS YOU.

YOUR STORY
HAS DEEPLY TOUCHED US ALL.

WE WILL PASS SOME LEGISLATION
ADDRESSING THIS PROBLEM.

Puff: THANK YOU.

THAT IS ALL I ASK.

GOOD-BYE, LILA.

I TAKE YOU WITH ME
IN MY UNTAMED HEART.

OO. UHH.

( no audio )

( siren wailing )

( truck horn blowing )

( whistling, cheering )

Man: I HAVE TO SAY
THE CROWD IS JUST EATING IT UP.

I THINK MAYBE
HE HAS TOUCHED US ALL

WITH HIS MESSAGE OF RESPECT
FOR THE NATURAL WORLD,

AND PERHAPS WE'VE ALL GROWN
A LITTLE BIT TODAY.

HE'S JUST TURNED WEST
ONTO BOURNE AND--

( cheering )

( camera shutters
clicking )

RRAH!

HA HA HA.

( cow moos )

WAIT!

WAIT!

YES?

I SAW YOU ON C-SPAN...

AND I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU
FOR 30 YEARS,

AND THERE YOU WERE--

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL GROWN MAN.

MOTHER?

YES...DEREK.

IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU, MOTHER,

BUT I'M AN APE
LIKE DAD WAS,

AND I HAVE TO GO BACK
INTO THE WOODS NOW...

FOREVER.

OH, I--I SUPPOSE SO.

I--I--I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY.

YES.

IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU AGAIN, THOUGH.

I'M IN THE BOOK

IF YOU WANT TO, YOU KNOW,
DROP ME A LINE OR SOMETHING.

I'M AN APE, MOM.

I'M AN APE,

AND APES
DON'T DROP LINES.

( shivering )

( French accent )
HELLO, MY LITTLE BOY.

HEY, MA. DID YOU BRING
ANY CLOTHES?

I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF.

OUI. NATHAN'S SUIT.

SWEET.

YOU KNOW,
I'VE WANTED YOU FOREVER.

SAY MY NAME.

( French accent )
GABRIELLE.

OHH.

YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH
OF NATHAN.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.

PLUS, SO MUCH OF MY
LITTLE MONGREL DOGGY.

ARF.
OOH.

( growls )

LET'S GO EAT.
I'M STARVING.

FRENCH?

OUI.

Lila: ♪ AS I LIE ♪

♪ HERE ♪

♪ NOW ♪

♪ ALL ALONE ♪

♪ EYES CLOSED ♪

♪ GONE NOW ♪

( squeaking )

♪ I FEEL THE BREEZE ♪

♪ BECAUSE YOU ARE WITH ME ♪

♪ I SEE THE TREES ♪

♪ THE LEAVES RIPPLING
IN THE SUN ♪

♪ LONG AS YOU'RE HERE
WITH ME ♪

♪ WE WALK ALONG ♪

♪ THROUGH FIELDS
OF RUE AND HEATHER ♪

♪ WE'LL SING OUR SONG ♪

♪ OF LOVE AND ETERNITY ♪

♪ I WILL NOT LOOK AWAY ♪

♪ YOU ARE ME ♪

♪ SO I'M FREE ♪

♪ UNSHACKLED, UNCHAINED,
UNDERSTOOD ♪

♪ I AM YOU ♪

♪ I'M NOT BLUE ♪

♪ I'M BACK AGAIN
WITH YOU IN THE WOODS ♪

♪ RUN FAR AWAY ♪

♪ NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY
BECAUSE WHEREVER ♪

♪ YOU GO ♪

♪ IS HERE ♪

♪ I WILL BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ FOREVER ♪

♪ BECAUSE YOU LET ME
IN YOUR HEART ♪

♪ AND I AM ♪

♪ HERE ♪

♪ NOW ♪

Woman's voice:
WHEN SOME THINGS ARE KNOWN,

OF WHICH THE ONE INHERES
IN THE OTHER

OR IS LOCALLY DISTANT
FROM THE OTHER,

OR IS RELATED IN SOME WAY
TO THE OTHER,

THE MIND STRAIGHTAWAY KNOWS,

BY VIRTUE OF THAT SIMPLE
APPREHENSION OF THOSE THINGS,

WHETHER THE THING INHERES
OR DOES NOT INHERE...

WHETHER IT IS DISTANT OR NOT,

AND SO, WITH OTHER
CONTINGENT TRUTHS,

AND IN GENERAL, EVERY SIMPLE
APPREHENSION OF A TERM

OR OF TERMS--THAT IS,
OF A THING OR THINGS--

BY MEANS OF WHICH
SOME CONTINGENT TRUTHS,

ESPECIALLY CONCERNING
THE PRESENT,

CAN NOW BE KNOWN.

IN ESTABLISHING AXIOMS
BY THIS KIND OF INDUCTION,

WE MUST ALSO EXAMINE

AND TRY WHETHER THE AXIOM
SO ESTABLISHED

BE FRAMED THE MEASURE
OF THOSE PARTICULARS

ONLY FOR WHICH
IT IS DERIVED

OR WHETHER IT BE LARGER
AND WIDER.

AND IF IT BE LARGER
AND WIDER,

WE MUST OBSERVE WHETHER,

BY INDICATING TO US
NEW PARTICULARS,

IT CONCERNS
WIDENESS AND LARGENESS

AS BY
A COLLATERAL SECURITY,

THAT WE MAY NOT
EITHER STICK FAST

IN THINGS ALREADY KNOWN

OR LOOSELY GRASP AT SHADOWS
AND ABSTRACT FORMS.

THAT WE MAY NOT
EITHER STICK FAST

IN THINGS ALREADY KNOWN,

OR LOOSELY GRASP AT SHADOWS
AND ABSTRACT FORMS

AND NOT AT THINGS SOLID
AND REALIZED IN MATTER.