All language subtitles for Gordita.Chronicles.S01E02.720p.WEB.h264-KOGi

- In the Dominican Republic,

mornings were
always my favorite.

It was a sacred time
for family and food

before going out into the world.

- Save some room; Tía Josefina
sent her famous yaniqueques.

- But when we
moved to the U.S.,

all that was toast.

- Cónchale, Emilia, how much
water did you give Mr. Coffee?

He's peeing his
little coffee pants.

- What the heck's wrong
with these grapes and nuts?

- Good morning, everyone.

- I miss our traditional
Dominican breakfast.

- How about a traditional
American one instead?

- Bienvenido a McDonald's,
brother, what do you want?

- Lucky for us, at the
Hialeah McDonald's,

you could order a traditional
American breakfast

in Spanglish.

- Okay, yes, dame
cuatro Egg McMuffins,

dos orange juice,
y... and two cafés,

- Oh, y uno apple pie.

What? It's fruit.

- Ah, okay. Y cuatro
apple pie, please.

- We may not have been as
American as apple pie yet,

but we were getting pretty
good at the pie part.

- Hey, Cucu, are you ready
for your history presentation?

- I'll be fine.

I practiced in front
of my mom, my dad.

I even practiced in
front of the mirror.

I sounded and looked good.

- Nerd.

- Wow, so original.

- Whatever, Boobido. I'm
gonna go find my friends.

- Those friends
were the Bubblegums,

the most popular
girls in school.

Girls idolized them.

Boys admired them.

Mari Hernández, known
for her fabulous hair

and her addiction
to Cuban coffee.

Dani Díaz, held back
twice, the only kid

at Miami Palms Junior
who could drive herself

to school but probably
shouldn't have.

And finally, Cari Medina,

the most popular girl in school.

She was rich, she was beautiful,

and she was voted Little
Miss Little Havana

three years in a row.

And then there was
Emilia, the new girl.

- Besitos!

Both: Besitos!

- Besitos!

- Oh, my God, you look,
like, super cute today.

- So do you!
- I love your top.

- I love your top.

- The Bubblegums did
everything together.

They talked alike,
they dressed alike,

and Emilia desperately
wanted to be one of them.

- And that's how they formed
the Continental Congress.

Oh, and to be clear, no
relation to the breakfast.

- Thank you.

- Very nice, Yoshy.

Cucu Castelli, you're next.

The Bill of Rights
contains the first ten

amendments to the Consti...

- Excuse me, no note cards.

This speech is meant
to be memorized.

- Right, sure, no problem.

But it was a problem.

For this English as a
second language speaker,

my note cards were a
3x5-inch security blanket.

Without them, I was nervous.

Okay, the Bill of
Rights contains

the first ten amendments
to the Constitution,

the right...

Like freedom of speech,

the right...

And not get thrown in...

- Cucu, I'm gonna stop you.

This is an English-only
class, and that's because...

all: In America,
we speak English.

- Very good, and you, Cucu,
were speaking a lot of Spanish.

- I was?

- I know you're new,

but it is class policy,

and it is the law.

- Unfortunately that was true.

After an influx of
Spanish-speaking immigrants

in the early '80s,

Dade County passed a
law banning Spanish

in all public buildings.

- I can't grade your speech
if I don't understand it.

- While my Latin background
was getting in the way,

Papi was using his to
soar to new heights.

- These are our very own
Starboard Air peanuts.

Go ahead, open them.

- Pretty hard, right?

Big problem or big opportunity?

I present snack-vertisement.

As you work to open your
snack, you're also learning

about our new routes to
San Juan, Santo Domingo,

Rio de Janeiro, and Medellín.

- Now, that's the kind of
ingenuity we like to see

here at Starboard Air.

You know, when I was a member

of the flight crew on
the Gemini mission,

I came up with the
idea of a space toilet.

Before that, all
the other astronauts

had to go in a little
sandwich baggie

taped to their butts, and
I said, "No way, José.

I'm doing twos in
space like a man."

This idea has space
toilet potential.

Meeting adjourned.
Good work, Eduardo.

- Who the heck is Eduardo?

- That's Eduardo.

Don't take it
personally, Víctor.

You know Mr. Frank has
spent a lot of time

in low-oxygen settings.

- Okay, well, I'll just stop
by his office and clear it up.

- No, the last guy that
tried to correct him

got ejected into the
cold abyss of space.

That's what Mr. Frank
calls getting let go.

- Well, I can't let
him go on thinking

that I'm him and he's me.

You know, I want
credit for my work.

- Good luck with that,

Mr. Frank's been calling
me Whoopi for years.

- Back in the DR, my mom
was a social butterfly.

But here in Miami, she hadn't
met any other butterflies.

- So when she got a
knock on the door...

- Hola!

I'm Yandra, and this is Ingrid.

Welcome to the building.

- She couldn't wait
to spread her wings.

- Well, it's so
nice to meet you!

And Cucu was such a giant baby.

El doctor said I could
be in a medical journal.

But I think he
was just flirting.

What about you, Ingrid?

How big was your baby?

Mm, sorry I brought
such dry cookies.

- Oh, no, they're lovely.

Thank you for
bringing them, Yandra.

Ay, disculpen.

I got no sleep last night,
I could use a pick-me-up.

- Ay, tell me about it.

Between moving and the kids
and Víctor's work, and... ooh!

- Sounds like a real grind.

- It is, but I'm just so
happy I made two new friends.

- Well, we have to go.

- Oh, oh, okay, well, why
don't you take my number

in case you want to do
this again sometime?

- We know where to find you.

- Oh, okay, well,
thanks for coming by.

I had a really nice time!

I...

- An F?

I've never gotten
anything less than an A

my entire life.

I didn't come all
the way to America

to not be wildly successful.

- Maybe not speaking
Spanish in class would help.

- It's not like I
do it all the time.

Wait, do I do it all the time?

- No.

Only when you get excited.

- Or nervous.
- Or scared.

- Or hungry.

- Yeah, Cucu, you do it a lot.
- Really?

- How else do you think I
learned the word "cónchale"?

- I'm sorry, guys, it's
just sometimes it feels like

half my brain speaks English

and the other half
speaks Spanish.

The two sides are
always fighting.

I'll kick your butt, Spanish!

- Hey, we just gotta make
your English side stronger.

I can definitely help.
- We can do it.

- There was no way
I was going to risk

getting another F, and
if it meant turning

my back on my native language,
then so long, español.

- Mami? Mami!

Mami!
- Hey!

- I need $20.

- Oh, claro, here, hold this.

Okay, now move it back
and forth for, like,

ten hours and you got a deal.

- Mami, this isn't funny.

All my friends
have acrylic nails,

and if I don't get
them too, I'll die.

- Ay, mamita, we will
miss you at first,

but then the extra bathroom time

will help heal
our broken hearts.

- In the DR, Emilia was used

to getting whatever she wanted.

But in America, we were
all making sacrifices.

So she did something she
never had to do before:

borrowed money from our parents.

Unfortunately, after the move,

there wasn't much
to borrow from.

Meanwhile, to help English
win the war in my head,

my friends prepared me for
battle, military-style.

- All right, Cucu, time
to whip that English side

of your brain into shape.

Welcome to English boot camp.

Oh, my gosh, sorry, guys,

I didn't think it was
gonna be that loud.

- Nibble, niece, nightingale.

- All right, Castelli,
name that thing.

- Ketchup!

Mustard!

Nincompoop.

Are you sure that's a word?

God, I know this in Spanish!

Why am I doing push-ups?

Hot dog grabbers!

Again, why the jogging?

Can't I just say
this sitting down?

- Define these
weird English words:

baby shower.

- Pre-birthday birthday party.

- Couch potato.

- Lazy person.

- Party pooper.

- Okay, I
don't know this one,

but I hope it never
happens to me.

- And finally, since we know,

when you get mad, you
backslide into Spanish,

here are some
special English words

to add to your arsenal.

- Whoa, that's so
many word bullets.

My Spanish side is
surrendering already.

With my friends' help, I was
ready to bulk up my English.

- What do you mean
Mr. Frank forgot your name?

Who can forget that
beautiful face?

- He thought I was the
other Latino, Eduardo.

I mean, do I look
like an Eduardo?

- Amor, you work in marketing.
- Mm.

- Why don't you market
your name to Mr. Frank?

- That's...

You know, that's not bad.

You're brilliant.

- Now if I can only
fix my own problems.

- Uh-oh, what happened?

- Nada.

I met two women in the building,

we ate cookies,

I vividly described
Cucu's birth,

and then they just left.

Now everybody in the
building is giving me...

- That doesn't add up.

Tell me step by
step what happened

when you invited them
over for cafécito.

Ay, my God, the cafécito!

- Sorry they're so dry.

- I could use a pick-me-up.

- Ay, Dios mío!

What kind of Dominicana doesn't
offer her guests cafécito?

I am so ashamed!

- Since the $5 in the
Bank of Butter Cookies

wasn't enough for acrylics,

Emilia went for the
next best thing,

drugstore nails.

Hmm, cool nails.

Where'd you get
the money for that?

- None of your business.

And don't touch
them. They're drying.

- What's this for?

- I said don't touch my...

Oh, no, my fingers,
they're stuck!

- Oh, my God.

You look like Flipper.

- This isn't funny, Cucu.

What am I supposed to do?

- Let me put this in
terms you can understand.

- Niñas, come help
me with dinner!

- After the boot camp...

- Cucu, dame un
chin de cilantro.

- A pinch of
coriander, you got it.

I couldn't wait to flex
my English muscles.

- Emilia, grab me
some red beans.

Cucu, teléfono.

- Good evening.
Castelli residence.

- Now open it.

- Oh, hello, Aunt Josephine.
What's new in Saint Sunday?

- Is that Tía Josefina?

You know she doesn't
speak English.

Que te pasa?

Aha, okay.

Cucu, Tía Josefina wants to know

if she should send some
of her yaniqueques.

- I'd love a batch of
her delectable johnnycakes.

- Okay, then you can
tell her, en español.

- But as much as I
wanted those yaniqueques,

I knew they would also feed
the Spanish half of my brain.

So I did something
I'd never done before.

On second thought, I better not.

I said no to fried dough.

Thank her anyway, Mother dear.

- I did it!

- That's great.
Now do it again.

The recipe calls for two.

- Taking Mami's advice,
Eduardo... I mean Papi...

Marketed himself
around the office.

He tried advertising,
branded sponsorship,

and finally, the pinnacle
of American marketing,

fake holidays.

- On behalf of the
marketing team,

we'd like to take
a moment to thank

our janitorial
specialist, Eduardo!

- There is no one else
at this company like him,

with his distinctive
mustache, hairstyle, glasses,

and uniform,

so cheers to our
janitor, Eduardo!

- Who's gonna tell him
that guy's name is Víctor?

So embarrassing.

- Mm, somebody got
her nails done!

- Careful, they're still wet.

- Those look, like, super cute,

but we're changing
colors tomorrow.

I'm thinking ballerina pink.

- We change colors every week.

- Yeah, bubblegum pink,
flamingo pink, Pepto pink,

"sal-mon."

- It's pronounced
"sa-mon," Dani,

and we don't do
that color anymore

'cause it makes my
fingers look like shrimp.

- Emilia began to panic.

There was no way she could
pull this off every week.

- Would any of you
beautiful chichas

like more chocolate milk?

- Sure, I'd love some.

And could you maybe
open it for me?

- With pleasure.

- But she had just started

hanging out with
the popular girls,

and she didn't want
to give up the perks.

It wouldn't be easy, but
Emilia had to find a way

to keep up with the Bubblegums.

- Today we'll be studying
the Louisiana Purchase,

which was sold to us by?

- I can answer that
in 100% English.

The U.S. bought the
Louisiana Territory

from France.
- Very good, Cucu.

Now, financially, France was
in a difficult situation.

- A quandary, a
conundrum, a pickle?

- Yes, as I was saying,

France had been in bad
financial situations before,

so this was a bit
of déjà vu for them.

- Did my ears deceive me?

Excuse me, Mrs.
Hayes, did you just

say something in French?

- You mean déjà vu?

- That's twice.

I thought this class
was English-only.

- Well, English
borrows from other languages.

Kindergarten, ballet, brassiere.

- So you can use
French or German,

but I can't use Spanish?

- That's different.

No one's worried
about the French

taking over Miami.

- After all I'd been through...

The F, the boot camp,

a life without yaniqueques...

I couldn't hold back.

That's !

What? That was English.

That day, I
discovered the meaning

of another English phrase,
"double standards,"

and that "" was one
of the words you can't say

say in school, along
with ","

"," and, of
course, "."

- Keep looking at me like that,

you'll get a second
week of detention.

- While I was paying for
my crimes with my time,

Mami was paying for
hers with her pride...

- Sorpresa!

- And pastry.

- I tried coming over, but
I don't think you were home.

- We've been busy.
- And I left you both notes,

but I guess a draft
blew them out.

- Miami's very windy.

- Anyway, I had laundry to
do, so I thought I'd bring out

some pastelitos and
croquetas and...

café.

- I guess I could eat something.

- Well, I haven't had
my second cup today.

- Ay, bueno.

- The pastelitos
are from Yisell's,

and the café is Dominican,
the best in the world.

- No, no, no, no, no.

The best coffee is cubano.

- You mean colombiano.

- Though this is a close second.

- I guess we can all agree

on the worst coffee
in the world.

All: American.

- Hey there, Eduardo.
- Oh, that's not my name.

- Morning, Eduardo.
- No, that's not my...

Ay, Dios, it's spreading.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hello.
- Yes.

- I was wondering if
you could help me.

Mr. Frank has, for some
reason, confused us.

Would you mind telling
him that you're Eduardo?

- And get fired
for correcting him?

No, no, no, no.

Besides, I wouldn't want

to miss out on your bonus.

- Bonus?

- End of year, boss
hands out checks.

Now, with your great ideas,

I, Víctor, could buy a Jet Ski.

And don't worry, I'll
empty the trash real good,

and maybe you'll get my bonus.

- I don't understand.

How does he confuse us? We're
from different countries.

We have different jobs. We
don't look anything alike.

In Santo Domingo,
everybody knew me.

- Mire, mi hermano,
in Nicaragua,

I was a doctor.

Here, I'm just Víctor.

- I'm Víctor.
- We'll see.

Listen, when you move here, it
doesn't matter who you were.

You start over.

Sometimes you start
over as Eduardo

or Juan or Víctor.

- You know what? No.

I came here to start
a new life... me.

What's the point if
no one knows who I am?

And I'd rather be
known as Víctor,

the guy who got fired
for correcting Mr. Frank,

than be known as
someone who I am not.

Thank you for your
counsel, Eduardo.

Mr. Frank, there's something
I need to tell you.

My name isn't Eduardo.

It's Víctor.

Víctor Castelli,

your VP of marketing
for Latin America.

Eduardo is the other Latin guy

who, by the way, is
woefully underemployed.

- Okay.

Thanks for letting me know.

- That's it?

What about the last
guy who corrected you?

- Oh, I fired him because
he took my parking spot.

- Oh.

- And he slept with my wife.

Insult to injury.

- Well.
Then that's a relief.

Not about the wife
stuff, obviously.

- I am terrible
with names, though.

You know, I've had my
secretary for 20 years,

and I still don't
know if her name

is Shirley, Cheryl, or Sharon.

- Ah, I think it's Barbara.

- Wow, see? I have a problem.

- Well, would you like to know

my secret for remembering?

- Oh, yes, please.

When people
introduce themselves,

I connect something about them

with the first
letter of their name.

For example, I'm Vice
President Víctor.

Eduardo, the other Latin guy,

is Educated Eduardo

because he was a
doctor in Nicaragua.

- Oh, do me. Do me.

- Um, hmm.

You're Flying Frank because
you flew to the moon.

- You're damn right I did.

Yeah.

Okay, I think I get this.

- Okay, so that
lady over there...

- Whoopi.

- Who you've been
calling Whoopi, yes,

is Betsy.
- Oh, okay.

Got it, Black Betsy.

- Oh, I don't think
that's a good...

- Oh, and that's Divorced Dan.

- Let's try something
less personal.

- That guy over
there, Fat Steven.

Thank you so much, Víctor.

This has been so helpful.

- Well...

- To get herself out of
her sticky situation,

Emilia resorted to
borrowing again.

- Looking for this?

- No, I was just looking
for the family album.

Great memories in there.

- Pero, bueno, first
Cucu gets a detention,

and now you're caught
stealing, ladrona.

- I'm sorry, I wanted
to get acrylics,

but they were too expensive,

so I got these stupid
drugstore nails,

and I glued my fingers together,

and now I'm a
freak dolphin girl.

- Oh.

- Mom!

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- You don't get it.

My new friends at
school are all perfect,

with their expensive clothes
and expensive necklaces.

Everybody loves them.
They're, like, really cool.

- Mm.

But can they swim
fast underwater?

Sorry.

Okay, okay, en serio, en serio.

I'm sorry I wasn't a
little more understanding

about the nails.

I think I forgot how hard it is
to make friends in a new place.

Hasn't been easy on
me either, you know.

- Really?

- I'll make you a deal, okay?

Keep your fins out
of the cookie bank,

and I'll take you
down to the drugstore

and show you the right
way to put those nails on.

- Deal.

- Okay.

Ah, your hands are
gonna look so beautiful

when you're working
off your debt

scrubbing the bathroom floor.

Bye, Flipper.

- Okay, Cucu, you're
released for today.

I hope you had some time to
reflect upon your behavior.

- Oh, I had some
time to reflect.

Reflect on how
unfair it all was,

what a bully Mrs. Hayes was,

and how I was going to
explain to my parents

why I got a week of detention.

- Come on, come on.

Cucu!

- And then everything changed.

- Could you help me, please?

I locked my keys in the car,

and I need him to
help me get it out,

but he only speaks Spanish.

Can you translate?

- There's a Dominican
saying about karma:

every pig gets its Christmas.

It means, in the end, you
get what's coming to you.

- Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Mrs.
Hayes, but English only.

- Fine, I won't punish you

if you sometimes speak
Spanish in class.

- And you'll forget about my F
and the rest of my detention.

- Yes, please, just hurry.

I'm late for my Tony Robbins
seminar at the Sheraton.

I paid for a one-on-one.

Now, translate exactly.

"I locked my keys in the car.

Break in and get them."

- Okay, you got it.

- Okay.

- He's gonna help you.

- Thank you... I
mean gracias, Cucu.

- Merry Christmas, Mrs. Hayes.

What "English only" Mrs.
Hayes learned that day

is that when translated exactly,

she had asked the security guard

to literally break her car.

Turns out, being bilingual

wasn't a problem after all.

It was a superpower.

- Oh, no!

- And I forgot all about
that English-only .

- Excuse me?

- Oh, yes.