All language subtitles for The.Pizzagate.Massacre.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-EVO-HI

[blade scratching]

[paper rustling]

[light dramatic music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

- [dramatic whooshing]
- [crow caws]

[ominous music]

Good evening.

On the night of October 10th,
2018 a violent murder spree

occurred over a 100-mile
stretch of Texas ground.

The murders were linked to
a debunked conspiracy theory

involving senior
political leaders

and child sex slaves
held captive

in the basements of pizza
parlors across the country.

These particular leaders
were also thought

to be members of the
Lizard Illuminati.

An elite race of reptilian
humanoids masquerading

as political figures
and celebrities.

One eyewitness provided
extensive video coverage

of the crime.

[thudding]

The footage she acquired
that day would detail

a bizarre drama that left
law enforcement,

and the public at large,

paralyzed with fear and
confusion.

[light dramatic music]

Her supposed pursuit of
justice would fan

the flames of cult celebrity,
uncover a deadly militia

on the verge of war, and
would introduce the world

to the most dangerous
man in America.

[light dramatic music]

[muffled talking]

Hey, come on.

Let's go. Chop chop.

Goddamn protestors got
here early this morning.

[Karen] Protestors?

Some cocksucker in HR leaked
the story to KWaco last night,

now every news outlet
in town is poking holes

in it like it's
swiss-fucking-cheese.

[Karen] You mean like they're
trying to say the story's

not credible?

Is this your first day?

Karen Black.

[light music]

You're, uh...

You're gonna shadow Asia today.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Please play nice.

Karen Black, I'm the new intern...

Just put these on.

- All right.
- Okay.

And take this.

So just make notes when
she goes off script, okay?

- Um...
- She's gonna go off script, so.

- Okay, I-
- Just listen for anything like

fucked up, you know?

Like stuff we'll have to
remember for future shows, okay?

What?

Did anyone even read the
story before it got approved?

Did you?

It's insanity!

- It is completely insanity!
- I know!

So let's start with the
supplement hour and then we can

circle back around to
the pizza place thing.

[Terri] We are the laughing
stock of six different

stations in Waco alone!

If we don't get in front of
this, who else will, huh?

You?

Anyone else?

I didn't think so.

Terri, calm down!

[Terri] Fuck you, Rupert!

- Fuck this shit.
- Calm down.

[Director] 15 seconds!

- [Terri grunts]
- 14, 13,

- 12, 11,
- Get that to wardrobe.

ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three.

[show opening music sting]

Ladies and gentlemen,
you are listening

to the Terri Lee Live show.

I'm your host, Terri Lee,
and I'm just gonna jump

right into it because we got
a hydrogen bomb this morning

and I can't sugarcoat it.

We received intel via
text message from

our field ops down in
Austin, Texas, and I quote

"child sex ring,
lizard illuminati,

Tootz Pizza basement.

Call ASAP."

Child sex slaves.

A secret reptilian
democratic stronghold

has been set up in the
basement of Tootz Pizza

out of Austin, Texas.

Now, the pizzeria
obviously, a front.

It's covered in satanic
artwork that depicts

humanoid reptilian
figures resembling leaders

of democratic deep state
literally sucking

the blood from newborn
baby children.

Shoving the drained corpses
into their vaginas, or cloaca,

depending on which side the
genitalia of all species was.

You wanna know what they're
doing to the older children?

You know the mainstream media
is laughing at this right now.

To, to...

To discredit me.

To discredit the message.

[Terri] Laughing.

What exactly is so funny
about photographic evidence

of nine-year-old children
being sodomized

by leaders of the
democratic deep state?

[light dramatic music]

This is real.

This is the shadow government
in our own backyards.

Classic, clandestine
globalist rape at its finest.

- [hands thudding]
- God fucking damn it!

[Terri] They are all laughing at this.

They are laughing at you,
they are laughing at me,

and we sit there like
drones doing absolutely

nothing about it.

Am I supposed to
leave my post and go down

to Austin, Texas and put a
bullet in every single one

of those coldblooded
bastard's heads?

Is that the answer to
this collective apathy?

Is anyone even listening to
a god damn word I am saying?

[high pitched ringing]

Don't you see that you
are fucking sheep?

What is that goddamn noise?

What is that?

[high pitched ringing]

Shut it off.

Shut it off!

[Karen] Okay.

Okay, I got it.

Sorry.

My headset, it's a
little too big.

Rup!

[wind whistling]

Ma'am?

Your lanyard.

[protestors shouting]

[Protestor] Come out, come
out, wherever you are!

There she is!

There she is!

[protestors shouting]

[car engine rumbling]

[tires screeching]

[Woman] You're a liar!

[Woman] What the fuck is
wrong with you?

You could've killed someone!

Y'all get the fuck back.

Hey, get the fuck back.

Get away from the car.

Hey, we have a right!

Yeah, you have a
right to protest

on the fucking grass, asshole!

Get the fuck out of the
way of the car.

[Protestor] We have a
fucking right!

- Hey! Hey, motherfucker!
- We have a right!

[Protestors] We have a right!

- [gun clicks]
- Get back!

I mean it!

I'm down.

I'm down!

[car engine rumbling]

[Duncan] What?

I was threatened, okay?

And I have a valid
conceal and carry permit

in this state, all right?

My name is Duncan Plump.

That's P-L-U-M-P. Plump.

I was threatened by
this man over here

with his goddamn sign,
all right?

And that's cardboard,
that's not paper.

Okay?

[Woman] Put the gun down.

[Man] Man, just put the
gun down, man.

I was threatened!

No one threatened you.

- I was threatened!
- [crowd gasps]

[light dramatic music]

That's why you shouldn't
swing signs at people, okay?

I would've been well
within my rights

to shoot that son of a
bitch in the head.

Well within, you all saw that.

It's okay.

- Someone call the cops.
- No.

- Fuckers.
- Stop.

- [car engine rumbling]
- What is wrong with you?

[Woman] Fuck you!

[suspenseful music]

[Interviewer] You didn't
think it was dangerous

to track him down?

[Karen] Of course I did.

[Interviewer] When you looked
him up on the internet,

what did you find?

[Karen] His past.

[Interviewer] You found out
he had a criminal record.

[Karen] He was exactly
what I needed.

I had to find out the
truth about Tootz Pizza

and I needed someone to
watch my back.

[Interviewer] Tell me
about the militia.

[Karen] They were well
organized, self-governed,

they ran drills.

[Interviewer] What
kind of drills?

[Philip] All right Duncan,
you've been caught.

Lay your weapon down.

[Man] Dude, come on.

We can see you.

[Philip] Just shoot his ass.

I wanna get back for breakfast.

[man sighs]

- [paintball gun pops]
- [man groans]

[Man] Come on, dude.

- [paintball guns popping]
- [man groans]

[light dramatic music]

[Philip] Hey!

When I go like this that
means stop, okay?

[Man] Sorry.

[man cries]

It ain't Duncan.

[dramatic music]

[paintball gun popping]

[man groans]

Come on, wait, wait, Duncan, I-

- [gun pops]
- [Philip groans]

[Philip] God damn it, Duncan,

you nearly split
my fucking head open.

[car engine rumbling]

[Hollis] And finally, I'd like
to remind y'all just

how successful our last
4th of July potluck was.

And more importantly,
just how popular

my wife Joanne's three
meat stromboli was.

[crowd clapping]

It has been an honor and
a privilege to preside

over this militia for the
last eight years

and I hope to have your
vote here tonight.

Thank you.

[crowd clapping]

Thank you, Hollis, for
that heartwarming plea

to the voters, but I'm
not sure how your wife's

three-meat stromboli's
gonna save her

when she's being gang raped by
a dozen Mexican drug cartels.

And I know she may be
in her 80s or whatever,

but those cholos know no
limits to their depravity.

It's that simple.

These are the times
we're living in, people.

And if you're not scared
shitless then you're asleep.

You can go on keep
living in your dreamworld

buying your
Chinese cars, Jap TVs

and hanging out with
your loved ones

playing checkers in the
den or whatever it is

the fuck you do all day
long, but mark my words.

If you continue to let
this man lead this militia

you will be violently awoken
in the middle of the night

to the sound of your loved
ones being gang raped

by Mexican drug cartels
just like Joanne over here.

That is why I,
codename Sidethorn,

would like your vote
here tonight.

To prevent that.

[Karen] Uh, excuse me.

Excuse me, I'm sorry to
interrupt your militia meeting,

but this is important.

Uh, well I'm
not finished, ma'am.

If you could have a seat.

As you've probably all
heard by now,

there are children down in
Austin being ritualistically

sodomized by deep state
operatives of reptilian descent.

Reptilian?

You mean like lizard people?

That's right, shapeshifters.

- [people whispering]
- Shapeshifters?

Fuck me sideways.

All right now, look!

I let Hollis speak without
any interruption, alright?

If you don't mind, we are
having a very special election

here tonight regarding the
future of this here militia...

[Karen] I do mind.

I mean, what I'm trying
to say, it's important.

- And...
- Just what are you

trying to say, miss?

I wanna go down to Austin
with this video camera

and uncover the truth
about Tootz Pizza.

And I need someone with military
training to come with me.

What's your name, young lady?

My name's Karen Black.

I'm a journalist and
a filmmaker.

Karen Black, huh?

And Karen Black's name ain't
on the reservation list,

now is it?

If we're gonna challenge
our longstanding policies

on attendance, one of which
is reserving your spot,

which she did not do, I
suggest we put it to a vote.

If we don't put it to
a vote I would call it

a direct attack on our
pillars of truth.

Breaking policies is a
slippery slope, my friends.

Policy two holds us to
maintain that which

is only found in a well
organized militia.

Granted by the
second amendment

of the United
States Constitution.

Can I get a amen?

[Man] Amen.

Now, as a potential director
of this here militia,

do you support the
flagrant destruction

of our precious and few
pillars of truth, Philip?

My name is Sidethorn.

Oh, excuse me.

Sidethorn.

Fuck you, Duncan.

No, how about fuck you, Philip?

You stupid dick!

You're lucky I don't beat
your fucking ass

in front of everybody right now!

Gentlemen, this has
gotten outta hand

and we only have 15 minutes
of our time left before bingo.

[Man] Oh, I love bingo!

I motion that we end
this meeting prematurely

in order to regroup
with members only

- at a mutually
- Don't you dare try to

- agreeable time.
- take this away from me.

Now you're all gonna hear what
I have to say, god damn it!

- Votes I?
- I.

[Hollis] Votes nay?

Nay!

This meeting's adjourned.

- [gavel smacks]
- Shit!

- [muffled talking]
- [light dramatic music]

Jonathan?

Yes, sir?

I want you to look up
Karen Black on the internet

right now with your telephone.

Okay.

Is that her?

[Duncan] Yeah.

[Jonathan] Duncan.

What?

How are they gonna sodomize
kids if they're lizards?

I don't know, Jonathan,
maybe they butt fuck them

with their tails.
Who gives a shit?

Now get your mind out of the
gutter for two fucking seconds

and promise me that
you'll never tell anyone

that I asked you to
secretly track down

Karen Black's whereabouts.

Kapeesh?

But you didn't ask
me to do that.

Right.

I didn't.

Listen, if you tell anyone
I'll fucking kill you, got it?

[tense music]

[keys jingling]

Awfully angry rhetoric tonight.

The fuck you want, old man?

Look, I know how bad
you want this position,

and your turn will
come, but scaring people

into voting for you will
only lead to disappointment.

You need to take a more
measured approach.

Take Duncan, for example.

He's aggressive and contained
all at the same time.

You may learn
something from him.

Yeah, that sounds all good
and peachy if the streets

weren't already running
red with blood, Hollis.

Someone needs to man up and
make this a real militia

and not just some stupid
fucking gun club

like that Karen Black says.

Mexicans, China people, ISIS,

they all think we're
a paper tiger.

You know what
a paper tiger is, Hollis?

Yes, Philip, I know what a
paper tiger is.

I don't think you do!

I really don't.

- Philip!
- Get fucked, old man.

Hey, come on, Philip,
we need to talk.

Come on!

- [light dramatic music]
- [car engine rumbling]

[crickets chirping]

Let me guess.

Jesus!

Terri Lee sent you.

Look, look, I don't
want any trouble, okay?

Look, I know you work for her.

Let's not act like we
didn't see each other today.

I'm not acting like I
didn't see you,

and for your information,
I was fired today.

So, uh...

This whole mission of
yours is trying

to get back on her good side?

You know she has worms
in her brains, right?

I don't understand, why did
you protect her like that?

I wasn't protecting her.

I was protecting the
first amendment.

It's a big fucking
difference, all right?

I may not be fooled by
that silver tongue ho,

but she has a right to speak.

Why would anyone lie about
nine-year-old children

being sodomized by
lizard people?

Whoa, I've heard the
word sodomize like three

too many times today,
so just please.

That's not an answer.

Let's say for the
sake of argument

lizard people were in fact
keeping child sex slaves.

Why a pizza place, Karen?

It just doesn't make any sense.

So you think Terri Lee's a fake,

but you believe in
lizard people?

Of course I believe in
lizard people.

Then why's it so hard to believe
that they're keeping kids

- in a basement?
- Look, just...

Forget what I do or
don't believe in

for a second, all right?

You came marching into
a public forum tonight

proposing open war against a
technologically superior race

of ancient reptilian
humanoids, am I right?

- We're already at war!
- Well we can't just go

down to Austin

and waltz into the lizard
stronghold demanding

to see the children in
the basement.

And why not?

Because there is
no basement, Karen!

Wait, what do you mean?

Tootz Pizza has no basement.

I looked into it myself
and it checks out.

But your intel right out
the gate is majorly flawed

and if Tootz Pizza is in
fact a lizard stronghold,

you're gonna be outnumbered,

and more importantly, outgunned.

I'm trying to make a
documentary,

you make it sound like I'm
about to start World War III.

Well, you just might,
Karen Black.

How's that make you feel, huh?

Documentary could be
worth no honky tonk

if there ain't no world
to watch it with.

You hear?

So what, you're just gonna quit?

Quit? What?

I can't quit nothing if
ain't start something.

What do you call tracking
me down like a psycho

if not starting something?

I just don't want a member
of my community

starting the first lizard war.

Well, if you won't
help me I'll just

get someone else to then.

Good luck with that.

Maybe your friend Philip.

No.

No.

Philip may be a dumb
stupid fucking bitch,

he ain't dumb enough to put
a big old spotlight on us.

A militia's position
under the radar

is far more valuable than any
public display of brute force.

You're not so under the radar.

You know that, right?

[Duncan] Goodnight, Karen.

I know who your father is,
for starters.

[light dramatic music]

David Karesh.

Branch Davidian sex cult leader
who thought he was Jesus.

Got all the women to
marry him back in the 90s.

One of which ended up
being your mother.

But when the FBI and
ATF heard he was sexing

on little girls, they had
a 51 day standoff with him

until he set fire to the
compound, killing like

80 people.
Including your mother.

But by the grace of God
baby Duncan was saved.

And even after all these years
no one's still quite certain

who started that fire.

Good evidence says
FBI started it.

Isn't that right?

What in the holy fuck
is your point?

My point is that the government
started a war against

your daddy over allegations
of child sex abuse,

the same thing we got
down in Austin right now.

Allegations.

And yet no one's
looking into it.

No FBI, no ATF, no one.

I mean, isn't that weird?

The government's hiding
something and I don't know what,

but there's something there.

I need someone like you to
help me with the tactical side.

Please, I need you.

Karen.

You don't need me.

You need a Xanax, all right?

[Duncan] A fucking chill pill.

[Philip] Well, he's right
about one thing.

You don't need him.

What in the fuck are you
following me for, Philip?

You call me Philip one more time

and I'm gonna bust
you in the head.

Your name is Philip,
you dumb fuck.

Philip is dead.

They call me Sidethorn now.

He tell you he was a retard yet?

Shut up.

Back in 93 when them FBI
boys took him out

that compound his ass
tipped off the back

of a pickup truck and went boom.

Split that big old fat
fucking melon wide open,

brains hanging out like
spaghetti or some shit.

Fuck you to hell, man.

State gave him a million
dollar settlement.

That's how come he don't
have to work all day.

Just gets to sit around in
his van playing secret service

for his long lost
love Terri Lee.

No.

No.

She is not my long lost
love, I hate that fat bitch.

She ain't fat, she looks good.

Philip, watch your mouth.

You're just upset
because she don't

return your phone calls.

[light dramatic music]

All right now.

I don't wanna waste any
more of y'all's time.

You wanna show the world
the lizard people

and I wanna make this
militia public.

Maybe you and I can come
to some sort of agreement,

help each other out.

If you need security,
I'm your man.

But it's gonna cost you.

How much?

[Philip hums]

500 bucks, American cash,
and I'll need it upfront.

- Fine.
- Karen.

You're making a big mistake.

Ooh, now settle down, chubby.

The adults are talking.

Why don't you get
a scoot on, huh?

Ain't you got work in
the morning?

Don't Terri Lee come on at
like eight a.m. or something?

[Philip laughs]

Go on now.

Ooh!

[Philip laughs]

I think I upset him, don't you?

[Philip cackles]

Go on now!

Skit!

[birds chirping]

[metal clangs]

[Duncan] Morning.

Oh God, Duncan!

Gotta be on the road by six a.m.

On the road?

Yeah, you better get ready,
you only got about five minutes.

I don't understand.

Leave at six a.m., get to
Austin, meet management,

fill out a job app.

Stop that.

[Duncan] Website says they
needed drivers.

Who's website?

Tootz Pizza.

Now let's go!

You only got like four minutes.

You wanna help me now?

Look, I underestimated
just how much of

a dumb fucking potatohead
Philip was, okay?

Any mission with him will
most likely end in bloodshed

and in time lead back
to the team here in Waco

and I cannot have that.

Okay.

That's a Billy Goat
brand rucksack.

Yeah.

It's a good brand.

I know.

[zipper buzzing]

Jesus fuck!

What?

[Duncan] Is that what
I think it is?

It's my pet, calm down.

At least let her out, we're
gonna be gone for a long time.

[Karen] They can last up to a
month without food.

I think we're okay.

[Duncan] A month?

Karen, this could take years.

You have to get in
their inner circle

and study them, get intel
for a long time.

Okay, I understand.

Hey, I think you should
leave your camera behind.

It looks suspicious.

Plus we'll most likely
commit some felonies along

the way and I do not need
a movie showing me do that.

No, ma'am.

My movie isn't about you.

It's about the victims
of Tootz Pizza.

If we even live to
see this footage

it will be bigger
than you or me.

All right.

But I'll have to
approve the final cut

before it's released
to theaters.

[dramatic music]

[electrical zapping]

[engine rumbling]

[Duncan snoring]

Duncan?

- Duncan!
- [Duncan gasps]

What?

You fell asleep!

Asleep?

I wasn't asleep.

God, you're drooling
on yourself.

- I wasn't asleep, Karen.
- [Karen] I'm sorry.

I'm starting to feel a
little overwhelmed.

I mean, are we really
up for this?

Are we really up for this?

[Duncan scoffs]

All right, all right.

You need a breather?

Let's stop off at a
corner store, pick you up

some supplies, you know?

Get you an energy drink if
that'll make you feel better.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah, it would.

[light dramatic music]

Fine!

Fine.

Great.

Great.

[engine rumbling]

[Duncan sighs]

Look, this is strike one.

An unplanned stop allows more
time for us to get spotted.

Let's try to keep this to
a minimum, okay?

Your gas tank is empty.

It should be full.

I'm gonna get that
gauge looked at.

Can we just check at the
pump to make sure it's full?

Yeah, duh.

Of course.

[engine rumbling]

Could be wrong.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

You want anything from inside?

It's on me.

I'm fine.

Thanks, though.

Yeah, no problem.

[light dramatic music]

[camera beeps]

[Karen scoffs]

Whoa.

Hey!

Uh uh.

Don't be filming my van.

Movie ain't about me, remember?

What?

[camera beeps]

- What's the uh...
- Problem?

[Duncan laughs]

Well I bet you
automatically think

I'm a racist or something.

I don't know, are you?

God.

Look, people...

I don't like you standing there
with your camera

out like that,
all right?

It's drawing attention
like I said it would.

Do you know what
that flag means?

It means a lotta things, Karen.

Like what?

Like heritage, for starters.

It honors slavery, I think.

No.

No, that's not what
they fought for.

That's exactly what
they fought for.

You're right, okay?

You're right!

Somebody's probably
already snapped a photo

of me on their damn
telephone saying all sorts

of things about me on the net.

And some NSA fuck is
flagging us right now...

Yeah, that's what I'm
trying to say

because the confederate
flag's fucked up.

Well, what am I
supposed to do, huh?

Take 'em off?

We're gonna get pulled
over in half a second

for not displaying our
license plate properly.

Why can't you just switch
it out with the front one?

That one's a
confederate flag, too.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

It came in a two-pack!

[Duncan] We shoulda
took your damn car.

No, you shouldn't have
a hate flag on yours.

[light dramatic music]

[Duncan] People don't know
any fucking better.

People were listening to her
looking for fucking answers

and they're not finding them.

[Karen] It wasn't long
before he started talking

about stuff he knew that
others didn't.

I think he felt like he had
to reprove himself to me.

We listened to Terri Lee's show

and he was pointing out all
these holes and inaccuracies.

He told me all about
stuff like false analogies

and conformation bias.

He also pointed out that
it wasn't Terri

we should be worried about.

It was her listeners.

Duncan referred to
them as idiots.

[Terri] We are not idiots.

There is a movement that
has taken bloom

in this country and it
is blooming, people,

and I cannot be happier
to report that.

Oh, it's gonna bloom, all right.

It's gonna bloom all
over the place.

[eagle crows]

[Terri] Your eyes open!

That's what this
comes down to, people.

Leads and tips, tips and leads.

- If you hear something...
- [light dramatic music]

[walker clattering]

[suspenseful music]

[engine rumbling]

I think we should call
the pizza place

and let them know we're coming.

Their website says
they're hiring

but what if it's not up to date?

- What?
- Is your phone on?

Yeah.

[Duncan] Karen, Jesus fuck!

- What?
- We're trying to fly

under the radar and you got a
damn tracking device

in your hand.

Now shut it the fuck off.

- Look out!
- Shit!

[tires screeching]

[Duncan groans]

Oh, shit.

[man growls]

It's an old person.

What's he doing in the
middle of the road?

He's lost.

[Duncan] Look at him.

He doesn't know up from down.

Wait, wait, wait no.

We're not just gonna pick
him up, are we?

It's an old person, Karen.

So?

Old people are the last
bastions of our society.

Their wisdom is limitless.

We have to do right by him.

What the hell are you
talking about?

What do you mean what the
hell am I talking about?

What happened to covert?

To flying under
the radar? To...

I ain't gonna let that old
buzzard die on my watch.

I just ain't.

No cameras.

Why not?

Because I said so, that's why.

Now drop it.

[door squeaks]

Hey.

[phone dings]

You okay, old man?

Shut your damn flapper.

You're gonna toss your
shit on the floor now.

Hey, hold it!

All right now.

Look, I need y'all
both to be clear.

We are out in the middle
of nowhere now.

So if I gotta blast you,

ain't nobody gonna see
that go down.

You got that?

So no funny business?

All right, get that wallet
onto the floor, pronto tonto.

And your ass ain't
exempt, come on!

Toss it over!

Just do as he says, Karen.

What you doing hanging around
a nigger for anyway, huh?

She's uh...

She's my friend.

[man spits]

Brother, you need to get
you some new friends.

Them keys in the van?

Yes, sir.

All right, boy.

It looks like you
live today, huh?

[man laughs]

Now, y'all just keep
your backs turned, huh?

Till you hear me drive off.

I'm figuring an idiot
like you can keep

from fucking that up, huh?

- [door thuds]
- [dramatic music]

- Outta the way, Karen.
- [gun clicks]

[engine sputtering]

Are you filming me?

Yes.

Put it away, Karen!

No.

Fucking thing won't start.

[Duncan] Drop the gun,
motherfucker!

[man laughs]

[Man] Oh, you sure got
tough all of a sudden.

[Duncan] I said drop it.

[Man] Ooh-ee, damn, you're
a brave boy, ain't you, huh?

[Duncan] I ain't messing around.

[Man] What's your bitch
doing over there?

She gonna put me on the
YouTube or something?

[Duncan] I'll shoot you
dead if I have to.

Now drop the gun!

You ain't got the balls,

you panty waist little bitch.

Shoulda done what I told you.

[Duncan] I don't wanna
kill you, old man.

[gun clicks]

[Man] You won't.

[gun bangs]

- [body thuds]
- Oh shit!

[Duncan] Stop filming me, Karen!

Now!

Is he dead?

[fly buzzing]

We gotta call the police.

Don't you dare.

Don't you fucking dare!

Then what do we do?

[crow cawing]

We're gonna dump
his ass in the ditch.

[heavy breathing]

Come on, we dump him
in the ditch.

Come help me dump his
ass in the ditch

right now, goddamn it!

- [engine rumbling]
- [light dramatic music]

Well, I guess we're really
in it now, huh?

Yeah, I'd say so, Karen.

I just shot a guy in
his fucking face.

Head blew up like an
old pumpkin.

[metal rattling]

Shut the fuck up.

- [light dramatic music]
- [engine rumbling]

[brakes screeching]

[heavy breathing]

[grass rustling]

[Duncan vomits]

[Duncan groans]

[Karen] Hey.

[Duncan groans]

Here.

[Duncan breathing heavily]

I ain't ever killed...

I ain't ever killed
anyone before.

I just want you to know that.

I, um, I never...

[Karen] Thank you for
sticking up for me back there.

Of course.

We're buds, Karen.

We're buds.

[Duncan sighs]

[dramatic music]

[thunder rumbling]

[engine rumbling]

[lighter clicks]

So um, that was a good idea
that you had back there.

You know, about calling the
pizza place ahead of time.

What do you think we should say?

See if they're still hiring,
let them know we're coming.

That's good, that's simple.

Simple.

We can order a pizza, too.

Yeah.

You like pizza?

Yeah, I love it.

Yeah, me too.

You should delete that footage.

It's got nothing to do
with your movie, huh?

I guess not.

Okay, then.

[Karen] There, it's gone.

That's good, that's good,
that's good.

Alright, here goes nothing.

[light dramatic music]

[Man] Tootz Pizza, home
of the butter bacon

pizza party platter.

This is Nathaniel, how
can I help you?

Hi, my name is Karen Black.

Don't say your name.

[Nathaniel] Hello?

They'll look you up.

So?

They'll see that you
work for Terri

and it'll tip 'em off
before you can get there.

[Nathaniel] Hello?

[Karen] Uh, hi...

- Hi, hello.
- Hello.

Hi, my name's Duncan Rodriguez.

[Nathaniel] Okay.

Yeah, um, sorry about that,
that was my girlfriend.

[Nathaniel] Right.

Well, is this gonna be
delivery or pickup?

Well, um, actually I was
calling to, you know,

inquire about the
driving position.

[Nathaniel] Let me
grab my manager.

Okay.

I'm on hold.

Duncan Rodriguez.

- What?
- You know what.

It's how it's pronounced.

[Rico] Hello?

Hello?

Hi, this is Rico, how
can I help you?

Hi, Rico.

Uh, my name's Duncan Rodriguez.

[Rico] Oh, you're calling about

that driving position, yeah?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Okay, well the
application's online.

Hello?

Um, yes, I'm still here.

Great, yeah, so just fill
out the application online.

Um, well...

Uh, so me and my girlfriend
are actually driving

into town and I was
wanting to just come on

and you know, stop by, pick
up a job app, a hard copy.

Okay, yeah, that's fine.

You have the address?

Yep. Well, no, no.

Okay, it's 54 and Futterman.

- 54th and Futterman?
- Right.

All right, all right.

Are you coming by later today?

Yep, well tonight.

Okay, and you said your
name is Duncan?

Yes, sir, Duncan
Rodriguez and you're Rico.

Yes, I'm Rico.

Okay, right.

Yeah.

Yep.

Okay, well, see you soon.

See you soon.

All right, bye.

[Duncan sighs]

We're in.

- [birds chirping]
- [dramatic music]

[traffic humming]

[car horns honking]

[muffled yelling]

- [light dramatic music]
- [crickets chirping]

[engine rumbling]

All right, Karen, what we're
gonna do is...

You referred to me as
your girlfriend on the phone.

We oughta make sure to
remember that.

What?

That we're boyfriend
and girlfriend?

[Karen] Yeah.

Right.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

You just went with the first
thing that came to mind.

Yeah.

Cool.

Um, how...

How far should we take it?

Take what?

That's we're
boyfriend-girlfriend?

Like we're gonna have to act
like we're together, right?

[Duncan breathing heavily]

Just to clear things
up, you don't actually,

you know, really have
feelings for me?

Like if we were really
boyfriend and girlfriend, right?

- Oh, no.
- 'Cause if you did,

you know, we could show
them that inside.

Yeah.

I...

I can hold your hand to
really sell it, you know?

I don't really have
feelings for you.

Right.

- [zipper buzzing]
- [Duncan sighs]

You should leave your camera.

It'll make 'em nervous,
don't you think?

Listen, you've been
trying to stop me

from making my documentary
since the moment we left Waco.

Well...

Well, why don't you
just use your telephone

like you did last time?

Way less conspicuous.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

[Karen sighs]

[phone dings]

- [gun clicks]
- All right.

Wait, wait.

What if they have a
body scanner on the door

like what they have at
airports and stuff?

What do you mean?

If they have a body
scanner on the door

they're gonna see your gun.

And I mean, you said
it yourself,

we're no match for them
if something goes wrong.

Plus, if one of us
needs to escape,

it's best that the weapons
are in here, right?

Right.

- Here.
- [gun clatters]

Okay.

[Duncan sighs]

Look, if something does go
wrong in there,

you're gonna have to be
the one that evacuates.

You got the footage, and I
hate to say it,

even if you do escape
they're gonna be after you

and they'll most likely
take you down.

But you gotta get that
footage out there,

that's the payload, got it?

And if they're
interrogating you,

you blame it all on me, okay?

- [keys jingling]
- [dramatic music]

We got this.

Yeah.

- [engine rumbling]
- [tires screeching]

Philip, no, Philip, Philip.

- [gun bangs]
- [glass shattering]

[sirens wailing]

[Philip] Get in the back!

[tense music]

[engine rumbling]

Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen!

- [dramatic music]
- [heavy breathing]

All right, all right, let's go.

Come on, fuck it.

Come on.

Karen, I got you, I got you.

- [horn honking]
- Fuck.

God damn it, motherfucker.

All right, all right.

[dramatic music]

I'm coming, Karen.

I'm coming, Karen.

I'm coming, I'm coming to
get you, Karen.

Rico, Rico, no!

Rico, don't!

[Duncan groans]

Please, Rico!

Please!

We gotta, oh Jesus!

Rico!

[groaning]

I thought you were supposed
to be here to drive.

[Duncan groans]

Son of a bitch!

- [guts squishing]
- [both screaming]

[both groaning]

[both screaming]

[gun bangs]

[heavy breathing]

Rico! Rico! Rico!

I'm sorry, Rico.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- [gun clicks]
- [Duncan gasps]

Hey, stop filming me!

- Stop it!
- [sirens wailing]

Stop filming me!

Rico!

Please, please.

- [crickets chirping]
- [dogs barking]

A pizza delivery service
here in the Austin metro area

has become the scene of a
deadly shootout

between its employees and
what early speculations

report to be a team of
white nationalists.

Authorities believe
there's still at least

one active shooter in the area.

- [woman screams]
- Shut up, shut up,

shut the fuck up.

[Reporter] Laurie?

Yes, Danny.

We've been told that at
least three employees

from Tootz Pizza have
been killed.

- Shut it off.
- Now, interestingly,

the vehicle in question
is displaying

the confederate flag
on both license plates

which leads us to
believe that perhaps

this crime was
racially motivated.

- Shut it the fuck up!
- [woman shrieks]

[helicopter whirring]

Fuck, shit.

[sirens wailing]

There's a first aid kit,

it's in the bathroom
down the hall.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's get that.

[Man] Were you shot, son?

Yes.

Did you hurt those pizza people?

Yes.

[Duncan] It was self defense.

It ain't what y'all think it is.

I ain't a white nationalist,
I ain't a killer.

Here.

- Let's get this shirt off.
- Wait.

I just want you to know,
both of you,

there's something really
fucked up underneath.

It's from a long time ago.

I ain't like that anymore.

Okay?

All right.

[Duncan breathing heavily]

[Duncan groans]

[Duncan breathing heavily]

Okay.

Now you've seen it.

It's buckshot.

It's torn up pretty good.

[Man] Can you stitch that?

Can't stitch that.

Best I can do is clean it.

Ah, fuck!

Come on, get in, get in.

Come on.

You, too.

Please.

Keys.

Put 'em on my pinky.

All right, there you go.

Thank you, thank you.

[Man] We won't last
long in here.

No, no, no, okay, look.

Once I get far enough away
I'm gonna call the police

and they're gonna come
let you out, okay?

I swear, all right?
Now move your hands.

- Move your hands.
- No.

- Come on, move 'em.
- Now, wait.

We gotta die in a closet?

No, you're not gonna die.

Okay? I promise.

- Okay.
- [door thuds]

[Duncan breathing heavily]

Okay, I promise you're
not gonna die.

It's just like being
in an elevator.

Someone's gonna come
let you out.

All right? I swear
I'm gonna call.

I'm gonna call, okay?

[Man] Are you gonna call
'em right away?

Now?

Yes, when I'm far enough away.

Okay?

[Man] You promise?

I promise.

[light dramatic music]

All right, bye.

[crickets chirping]

[Terri] Ladies and gentlemen,
you are listening

to a Terri Lee special
night edition.

Live here, evidently the
mainstream fake news outlets

are blaming a fan of
the Terri Lee Live show

of the murders of
three employees

of an Austin, Texas pizzeria.

He has been identified as
the owner of the vehicle left

behind and has online accounts,
such as TerriLeeLover6969

and Incognito93, that express
a fandom for our show.

He was, in fact, the crazed
man who almost killed me

and several others outside my
studio just yesterday morning.

Duncan Plump is the man that
has been identified by police.

This is a heinous, evil
act of homegrown terrorism.

Seeds that mainstream
media will try to say

were planted by me
based on nothing

but my proximity to this anthem.

I did not employ this
psychopath to commit murder

and I sincerely hope for
swift and merciless justice.

Shut the fuck up.

[Duncan breathing heavily]

Well this tape...

This is so dumb.

Guess it's to clear
my name in case

I don't survive this night.

Goddamn Terri Lee puts a
story into Karen's head

and lord knows who else's.

And Philip came into Tootz
waving his gun around,

forcing everybody to
hit the deck.

And then Rico the store
manager pulled

a sawed off shotgun out
from underneath the counter

and nicked my hand
and my shoulder.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I chucked a bunch
of cutting knives

at him from the
magnetic strip there.

He shot at me again, but
he didn't hit me.

He hit Nathaniel, I
think his name was.

He killed him.

Not me, Rico killed him.

[tape whirring]

Anyway, Philip kidnapped Karen,

now I'm on my way to go rescue
her unless he kills her.

Then I suppose I'm gonna
have to kill Philip.

[light dramatic music]

Just to clear things up,
there were no fucking

lizard people in that
pizza place.

Just a bunch of
hardworking Americans

and some damn fine pizza.

Wish I coulda had a slice.

Or two.

Pepperoni.

Sausage.

[suspenseful music]

[car engine rumbling]

[bugs chirping]

[door thuds]

[water rushing]

[light dramatic music]

Why are you
battle-ready, Hollis?

Duncan, Joanne and I
would sure like

to not have any
troubles here tonight.

I suppose Philip got to
you first, huh?

[light dramatic music]

Where's Karen?

She's fine.

Let me guess, you're
gonna pin all

this pizza stuff on me, huh?

I don't have to,
Karen already did.

The footage is quite troubling.

What in the hell footage
are you talking about?

The footage of you
capping that old man

in the head out on
Rancho 312 like you did.

Does that ring a bell?

No, she uh, she was
supposed to delete that.

Well that's what she was
supposed to do,

it ain't what she did.

That's some pretty
sick stuff, Plump.

You go and kill an old
man and then try

to plant the gun on him?

Plant? No, no!

I wasn't planting, I
dropped the gun

and I was picking it back up!

She just had a bad angle on him.

Ooh-ee, you got an answer
for everything, don't you?

You know what?

Fuck y'all.

I'm turning myself in.

The truth is gonna come
out one way or another.

Unless y'all silence
Karen, I got my alibi.

Good, it's settled.

We'll sort this out
when the police arrive.

Well, now, that's where
I'm gonna stop you, Hollis.

You see, I don't think
Duncan's gonna play nice

once he gets behind bars.

I don't think this little
problem of ours

is gonna go away as
easily as you might think.

What are you talking about?

Ain't no police been called.

The members and myself have
conducted a silent vote

and we have come to
the conclusion

that we need to settle this
matter internally, so to speak.

A silent vote?

We gotta make it like we
ain't never heard

of no Duncan Plump,
you understand?

If he gets in front of
a news camera,

he's gonna ruin any
chance that we have

of expanding this
militia to the south!

[Philip] I mean,
for Christ's sake,

his damn girlfriend works
for Terri Lee!

That's how come he went
around our backs like he did!

Because he wants to be famous
just like his dead daddy.

Philip, this is not
your militia.

I got the majority
now, old man, not you!

So say your goodbyes,
shake hands and salute

because I'm about to
put tubby down.

Philip!

Oh, excuse me, Sidethorn.

Why don't you explain to
the camera how exactly

you plan on silencing me?

[light dramatic music]

Go on.

Tell us.

Now, you're bluffing,
you ain't filming shit.

Come on, Sidethorn!

You're the leader now!

Silence me just like
you threatened.

Do it on live camera.

Do you got the sack to do that?

What?

What the hell
does that mean? The sack?

I'm referring to your ball sack!

You got the ball
sack to do that?

Hm, hm?

Silence me like you said?

All right, okay.

Well I'm gonna go into
town, get the sheriff,

and come back for Karen.

Hey, you hold it right there!

[light dramatic music]

All right, you wanna
see my ball sack?

No.

No?

No, I'm gonna show you
my fucking ball sack.

Just a minute, right here.

Wanna see it?

[belt clattering]

There it is!

Is that what you want?

Huh?

Look at it!

I ain't afraid of you,
your camera,

or showing my big old ball sack!

Well, um...

See y'all later.

Hold it right there, you
son of a bitch.

[gun clicks]

- [gun bangs]
- [Philip groans]

- [gun bangs]
- [man groans]

- [Philip groans]
- [light dramatic music]

[gun bangs]

[man groans]

[Duncan panting]

[gun bangs]

[gun clicks]

[gun bangs]

[man screams]

[man cries]

Hollis.

Hey, Hollis, hey.

[light dramatic music]

[man whimpers]

- [gun bangs]
- [Philip screams]

[Philip groans]

Oh, God.

God damn it, Duncan, you
shot me in the belly.

You almost hit my dick.

[groans] Fuck.

[heavy breathing]

What happened to Hollis, huh?

What'd you do to him, you
son of a bitch?

[Philip groans]

[Philip] Fuck me.

Now, this ain't my fault, okay?

You just shoulda given up.

This is not my fault.

[Philip groans]

Okay, okay.

Listen, this has gone south
real fast now, hasn't it?

[gun clicks]

What do you say
we call a truce, huh?

You go your way, I go mine.

We already went
your way, Philip.

[Philip] Duncan?

What are you doing, man?

Hey, I quit.

Duncan, I quit!

[gun bangs]

[Duncan breathing heavily]

[light dramatic music]

[Philip vomits]

[Philip groans]

[Philip groans]

You want me to call for help?

[guns banging]

- [high pitched ringing]
- [light dramatic music]

[Joanne] Oh, Hollis!

Hollis!

Oh, Hollis.

[Joanne cries]

[gun clicks]

Joanne.

Joanne, don't.

Joanne, I didn't do it.

[gun bangs]

[body thuds]

- [door creaking]
- [crickets chirping]

Duncan.

You're alive.

You didn't delete that footage.

Duncan, I thought...

You lied to me.

I was just doing what you
told me to do.

I was trying to get the
footage out there.

I told you to delete that
footage and you lied to me!

Yeah.

I did.

Why didn't you show 'em the
footage from the pizza place?

The stuff that shows
it was Philip's fault?

Well...

Well what?

You filmed it, right?

I had the camera upside
down in my pocket...

Oh, fuck me to hell...

I tried, okay?

It all happened so fast,
I couldn't get a shot.

I killed like
eight people, Karen.

I'm fucked!

No.

We can...

You can do whatever you want.

Right now I'm gonna
suck this gun.

Duncan!

No, no, don't suck on your gun.

We can fix this.

[Duncan mumbling]

What?

[Duncan mumbling]

I don't understand.

Where's your phone?

- [gun bangs]
- [light dramatic music]

There.

It's fixed.

Your movie wasn't supposed
to be about me, remember?

Well, it is.

I didn't set out to
make my movie about you,

it just happened.

Did you show anyone
else that footage?

Karen?

Why did you send all your
footage to Terri Lee?

It was the only contact to
the media I had in my phone.

I thought Duncan was dead.

I didn't know what was
gonna happen to me.

I had to get my
footage out there.

Do you regret it?

No.

To this day I still
believe that everything

in that footage is true.

It's only a piece of the
truth, but it's true.

It's what happened,
Duncan did that.

When you told him you
sent the footage,

did Duncan get angry?

[crickets chirping]

- What!
- [engine rumbling]

He flew into a rage,
took off in a stolen car,

[light dramatic music]

you went with him.

Did he force you to come along?

[Karen] No.

[Interviewer] Why did you go?

I owed it to him.

To his story.

For better or worse,
I'm the reason

the world knows who Duncan is.

What happened next?

[light dramatic music]

Hey, we're trending.

Accounting's gonna shit
when they see

how much OT we gotta dish out.

Who gives a fuck?

This is gonna be our top
show of the year.

There he is planting the weapon.

[Duncan] Stop filming me, Karen!

Now!

Stick with us, people.

We are uploading footage
actually taken

from the inside of the van
of this murderer.

- Is he dead?
- In it I am told

he proclaims his
allegiance to the Nazis

and the confederacy.

[Duncan] Don't you fucking dare!

[Terri] My fault, too, I assume.

[Karen] Then what do we do?

You see? That's what they do.

The media, they need
someone to blame.

Someone to complete the
narrative and it's easy

to blame one person, isn't it?

Simpler that way.

Takes the blame off
of all of you.

No one will tell you to your
face you should've done better.

You should've stood
for something.

No, you'll quietly
reduce yourself to sides.

One side saying there's
too many guns.

The other side saying
there's not enough God.

[door screeching]

Why'd she stop?

What the...

Excuse me, we are on the
air right now.

This is a closed set, you
can't just come in here.

[Karen humming]

Andy.

Uh, Rupert, can we get a
producer on the floor right now?

We're on the air right now.

[Duncan] That's good.

What the hell is going on?

And who the fuck are you?

Y'all don't know my name?

What, you gonna kill me?
Is that it?

That's up to you.

[Rupert] All right,
cut the feed.

- Shit.
- [gun bangs]

No one's cutting any feeds!

I want everyone to hear this.

[Terri] It's your show now,
is that it?

- Terri, shut up.
- Do you even know

what it is that we do here?

You're abso-fucking-lutely
right I know what

it is that you do here.

I want you to tell everyone
that this Tootz Pizza

lizard stronghold business
is a buncha goddamn hogwash.

I want you to tell
them the truth.

I tell them the truth
every goddamn day!

What do you do, huh?

You think because you've
mistaken a psychotic break

for a moment of clarity
that gives you the right

to come in here and tell
me how to run my show?

You ruined me!

You post videos of me
on the internet

and you have no idea who
the fuck I am.

[Terri] This is who you are.

Look at yourself.

You will never be
anything better than this.

People are dead because of you.

You know that?

[Terri] No.

No, those people are dead
because you shot them.

Not me, you.

And you'll convince no
one otherwise.

Their blood is on your hands.

Yours!

My hands are perfectly clean.

People believe in you.

Don't you get it?

Real people with real lives
who don't know any better

and you exploit that.

I mean, are the lizard
people even real?

Or is that just another
lie you tell us

to keep us afraid and coming
back to you day after day?

You tell us to keep
fighting and stay awake!

Don't you look at
anybody but me.

And you tell me the
truth or I'm gonna grease

this stage with your
fucking brains.

Are the lizard people even real?

[Man] Whoa, whoa, gun.

- Now, hold a second...
- No, no, no!

Are the lizard people real?

Terri, let me remind
you that you

are still under contract.

Rupert, I started this company,

do not talk to me about
fucking contracts right now...

I don't give a goddamn

about no
fucking contract.

This is my life we're
talking about here.

Hell, it's mine too,
asshole, so-

This has gone on far enough.

- [gun bangs]
- [Terri shrieks]

- [light dramatic music]
- What the fuck?

You crazy motherfucker.

- He fucking shot me!
- [light dramatic music]

[Rupert] Somebody
call the police.

Fuck.

You son of a bitch.

[Terri groans]

[Terri panting]

[Terri groans]

- Answer the question.
- Terri,

think about this company.

Everything that
you've worked for.

- Shut up!
- [light dramatic music]

You answer the question
and you answer correctly.

Fuck you!

Why won't you answer
the question, Terri Lee?

Are you afraid of the truth?

'Cause it doesn't
matter what I say,

you've decided that
you're the victim.

You wanna show everybody.

10 seconds!

Jesus Christ.

- 10, nine,
- [Terri gasps]

eight, seven...

You are making

- a huge mistake.
- Six, five,

- four, three-
- Somebody do something.

- Two, one!
- [dramatic music]

All right!

All right.

The lizards are real.

This is all real.

This is deep state trying
to silence me,

you've gotta resist them.

Listen, please resist,
resistance.

- [Terri groans]
- [light dramatic music]

[Terri panting]

Sorry, sorry.

I'm sorry.

[light dramatic music]

Why are you still
filming me, Karen?

How could you still be filming?

This is what y'all want,
isn't it?

For your movie.

For y'all's show.

Y'all want me to kill her.

[gun bangs]

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, everything's okay,
I got him.

[Terri groans]

Don't you fucking touch me.

[Terri breathing heavily]

[light dramatic music]

Fuck!

[Terri groans]

- [Karen sniffles]
- [light dramatic music]

And that was that.

He was dead.

-Terri, what are you doing?

Don't fucking touch him.

[Karen] It was...

Intense.

Yeah.

Real intense.

[Interviewer] But some good
has come out of it, hasn't it?

Right.

You have your own show
at Terri Lee's Studio.

I have to ask, if Duncan
were here today,

what do you think he
would think of that?

Well, it's my own show.

He knew that this is my dream.

Getting checks with Terri
Lee's name at the top

wouldn't have bothered him?

I'm sure it would have.

Why are you asking me that?

Your videos of Duncan, to date,

have amassed over 45
million views online.

That's a lot of views.

Are you making money off
of those videos, Karen?

Those videos, they...

- They...
- [dramatic music]

Who's making money off
of those videos, Karen?

[light dramatic music]

Everything okay?

[Karen sniffles]

Is Terri Lee making
money off those videos?

[light dramatic music]

No, I am.

[light dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[light dramatic music]