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♪ I was out of line
when I walked all over you
2
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:41,345
♪ I was under fire when
I fell into the blue
3
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:48,222
♪ Everybody loves you
darling, they love who you are
4
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:53,096
♪ So come a little closer now
5
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:57,883
♪ So I can tell you
just how far you've come
6
00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,799
♪ Everyone wants
to be your angel
7
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:08,372
♪ Everybody wants
to be your star
8
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:13,551
♪ I don't know
what to say to you
9
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:17,294
♪ And all the things you do
10
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:22,560
♪ And the time slips through
your hands like quicksand
11
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:27,609
♪ And I don't know
where to start, oh no
12
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:31,265
♪ You're the angel I live for
13
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:36,792
♪ And the time slips through
your hands like quicksand
14
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,186
♪ Like quicksand
15
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:58,292
♪ I was out of line when
I walked all over you
16
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:04,950
♪ And we were under fire
when you fell into the blue ♪
17
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,607
For seven
years my client has been
18
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:13,220
the perfect, ideal wife
and in all this time
19
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,743
have you ever been unfaithful
20
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,527
to your husband Mrs. Kemp?
21
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,400
And I would like to remind you,
22
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,317
you are under oath.
23
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,232
- Unfaithful? Absolutely not.
24
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,538
I was raised on a farm.
25
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,018
- Not quite sure what that
has to do with anything
26
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,759
but thank you.
27
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:33,196
So what would you say
to your husband's claims
28
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,113
that you are, in his own words,
29
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,507
- "a cheating,
spoiled, little brat
30
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,857
"with a sense of entitlement
31
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,948
"and no discernible
moral compass."
32
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:48,211
- Thank you Betty.
33
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:52,650
So, a cheating brat with
a sense of entitlement,
34
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,696
is that an accurate assessment?
35
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:58,178
- No, he's lying,
this is what he does.
36
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,876
He uses his charm,
good looks and money
37
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,834
to lure innocent
women into marriage
38
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:06,838
and then when they
get a little older
39
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:11,539
he just, he just trades
us in for a newer model.
40
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,715
- He certainly is a stallion.
41
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,543
There's no denying that.
42
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,980
No further questions.
43
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:21,636
Your Honor, without
any proof of infidelity
44
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,291
my client is not in violation
of the prenuptial agreement.
45
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,380
- I'll take it under advisement.
46
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:28,251
- I mean, sullying
my client's good name
47
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,644
with baseless claims.
48
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,080
- I understand.
We are in recess.
49
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:43,397
- Oh, baby...
50
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,225
- Shush...
51
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,273
Hello?
52
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,666
That quick?
53
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:53,972
Thanks for your call.
54
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,844
Continue, continue.
55
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:56,845
- Yeah?
56
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:57,672
- Yeah. The judge is back.
57
00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,151
- The judge is back.
58
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,152
I love it when you talk in those
59
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,589
complex legal terms.
60
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,551
The judge is back,
the judge is back!
61
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,036
- So I finally feel like
I'm getting into it,
62
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,691
you know, with this one.
63
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:20,172
And she starts yelling
at me, just screaming!
64
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,653
I thought, okay, she's
just feeling my girth.
65
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:29,486
- No, no, I've been
waiting for that ouch
66
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,445
since the day we
were married, no.
67
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,403
No, he was pressing
his elbow into my arm
68
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:34,709
and it hurt.
69
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:35,753
- Yeah, my elbow,
which she so rudely
70
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:36,972
has to point out.
71
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,191
- But don't forget,
you both agreed
72
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,846
to be very clear about what
you like and don't like.
73
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,457
- I don't know what to tell you.
74
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,937
This whole dealing
with your problems
75
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:48,636
through communication,
that's not for me.
76
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:51,334
I'm more of a "let's
just ignore things,
77
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,336
"maybe I'll die
young of a coronary"
78
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,337
kind of guy.
79
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,425
- You got that right.
80
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,035
- No, no, no, guys. Come on now.
81
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,950
Communication is key.
82
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,865
I tell you what we're gonna do,
83
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,563
we're gonna have a
little role-playing.
84
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,783
- Ha, I've tried that,
she doesn't like it.
85
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,742
- For this exercise,
now Tom, you're gonna
86
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:10,614
be Nancy and Nancy,
you're gonna be Tom.
87
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:11,963
Okay?
88
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,357
I think maybe
Nancy should start.
89
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:17,534
Okay, I
think this marriage --
90
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,057
- Oh no, no, no, no.
91
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,668
I said Nancy, Tom that's you.
92
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,147
- Right.
93
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:26,978
Hi, I'm Nancy.
94
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:33,333
- Er, hi, I'm Tom
and I like to take
95
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,378
a big bag of chips
with me when I go
96
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,684
and take a dump.
97
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,729
- Oh then you're the
perfect man for me,
98
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:42,385
I need a target for my
insufferable nagging.
99
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:46,346
- Hi, I'm Tom, I'm
a big dumb fuck.
100
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,784
- Hi, I'm Nancy,
whenever I find the time
101
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,613
to take a machete to
trim the squirrel's nest
102
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,007
that's growing between
my legs I get a rash.
103
00:05:56,051 --> 00:06:00,055
- Oh, hi, I'm Tom and my
mommy still buys me PJs
104
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,404
for my birthday,
105
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,405
- which I wear!
- I wear those because
106
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,407
of your skin allergies.
107
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,409
She gets these skin allergies
that are so disgusting.
108
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:07,497
- No, no, no, no, stop!
109
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:11,240
Okay, look time's up, sorry.
110
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,591
- I don't have a good
feeling about this.
111
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,638
- I'd say you're
looking at anywhere
112
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:20,336
between 1.5 and two
million plus the house
113
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,119
at Martha's Vineyard.
114
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,773
- No way.
115
00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,428
- Care to make a bet?
116
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,516
- Deal.
117
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,518
- Let's shake on it.
118
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:33,262
Oh hey there, not my hand
but I see your point.
119
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,614
Meow.
120
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,137
All rise.
121
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,446
- Be seated.
122
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,709
Alright, I'll make this quick.
123
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,232
As to the terms of the prenup,
124
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,583
I find that Mrs. Kemp
is within her rights
125
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,193
and therefore entitled to
her share of the assets.
126
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,152
I hereby award the plaintiff
127
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,937
the sum of two million dollars,
128
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,418
in addition the title
of the vacation house
129
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,071
will be signed over to her.
130
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,986
Court is adjourned.
131
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,466
- What did she say?
132
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,859
- We lost!
133
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,469
Ah yeah!
134
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,041
That a girl!
135
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,435
- Eat me.
136
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,610
- Is that how you're
gonna talk to a man
137
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:17,480
who is currently batting
the legal equivalent
138
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,525
of a thousand?
139
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,744
- 27 verdicts in a row.
140
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,964
And not a single settlement,
the kid's on fire!
141
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:25,140
- Yeah, I know, another
sacred union is over,
142
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,316
- All the while, I was
trying to save one.
143
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:29,013
- Where's my congratulations?
144
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:31,233
- Well, did yours end
in two million dollars
145
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,149
and a super empty nut bag?
146
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,978
- No, mine ended with the
couple trying very hard
147
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,893
to put the work in
necessary to sustain
148
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,547
a long term relationship.
149
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,418
And my hourly rate
of 50 dollars.
150
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,683
- 50 dollars an
hour, that's funny.
151
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,903
I like the empty nut bag better.
152
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,601
If you had
to take that 50 dollars
153
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,777
turn it into singles,
which would be cheaper,
154
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,301
wiping your ass with them
or buying toilet paper?
155
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,825
- Ew.
156
00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:00,218
- I gotta tell you,
Stephanie's an angel,
157
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,959
but if you really want
her to move in with you
158
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,831
you should consider
raising your rate.
159
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:06,050
- Vince, this might come
as a surprise for you,
160
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,269
but Steph loves me for me,
161
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,313
not for what I make.
162
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:09,619
- Oh, snap!
163
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:10,881
- Are you giving much
of a choice though?
164
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,622
- Oh yeah, you guys,
165
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,843
toilet paper would
be much cheaper.
166
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,714
- Yeah.
167
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:18,715
- I'm proud of what I do.
168
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,587
- I don't look proud?
169
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,110
I'm proud, I'll be
a whole lot prouder
170
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,807
when they make me
partner, but I'm proud.
171
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,156
- Boom.
172
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,117
- Ah, shit.
173
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,553
- What's wrong?
174
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,815
One of your girls cancel on you?
175
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,164
At least I don't
have that problem.
176
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,557
No, Celeste
wants to meet at 10
177
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,559
but I already told Nicole
to meet at my house at nine.
178
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,778
- Oh that's the stripper!
179
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,344
- She's not a stripper,
180
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,738
she is a student who
occasionally strips
181
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:42,826
to pay for her tuition.
182
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,567
- Oh well, if she's
paying tuition
183
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,829
that's totally different.
184
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,178
- I think I can fit
them both in, Kenny,
185
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,919
but I need your help, alright?
186
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,268
Oh sorry, gotta go.
187
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,400
- What do you mean?
188
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,097
What about "bros before 'hos?"
189
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,621
- I think we stopped
saying that in college.
190
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:01,105
- Dude, what a
fucking smoke show.
191
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,977
- They should make
her into a soup.
192
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,239
- Wow.
193
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,207
- I'm gonna take
a run at this one.
194
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,818
I'll be right back.
195
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,210
- You go get that soup.
196
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,082
Go get that soup.
197
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,828
- Oh, God.
198
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,220
- Mind if I join you?
199
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,179
- Yeah, sure but make it quick,
200
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,789
my boyfriend's in the bathroom
201
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,443
and you don't wanna
mess with him.
202
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,663
- I'm sure he's probably
devilishly handsome
203
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,403
with a body like an Adonis
204
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,754
and a penis like a can of beans.
205
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,277
- Oh, you know him?
206
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,105
- I'll say I know him.
207
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,629
- That'll never get old.
208
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:47,674
- Never.
209
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,285
- So how was your day?
210
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:51,895
- Good, busy.
211
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,288
- Oh, I thought Jane
was coming with you?
212
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,115
- Yeah, we're meeting
here, I thought
213
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,507
she'd be here by now.
214
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,597
- Well I'm excited to meet her.
215
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,729
- Go easy on her, okay,
she's still a little tender
216
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:02,036
from the divorce,
it was so brutal.
217
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,951
And her whole two
year eat, pray, love
218
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,562
European excursion
didn't really take.
219
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,824
- No?
220
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,392
- No, unless you
count eating men,
221
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,263
praying for her ex to die
222
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:15,179
and the love of seeing
grown European dudes cry,
223
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:18,879
then yeah, yeah, maybe it did.
224
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,532
- Well you're a good friend,
225
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,404
and an even better girlfriend.
226
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:23,753
- You think so?
227
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,755
- Hm-hmm, sure do.
228
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,670
- If we ever get
married and I catch you
229
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,412
with one of our bridesmaids
I will take your balls --
230
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,066
- Ooh, here we go.
231
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:36,026
- Your ballsack, I will take
your sack, I will pull it up
232
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,159
over your face --
- Yeah, bring it on.
233
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,682
- and right up over your head
234
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:43,817
like a big scrotal wedgie
yarmulke situation.
235
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,123
- You're really bad at threats.
236
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:46,820
- The point is I'll
hurt your balls.
237
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:47,690
- Gotcha.
238
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:50,040
- You got it?
239
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,216
- Pay up, sweetheart,
and did I mention where
240
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,478
I want my kiss?
241
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:54,871
- Well I guess that's up to you.
242
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,569
Or we can up the bet.
243
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,268
Last dart, bullseye or I lose.
244
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,487
- Oh there's no way
you're that stupid!
245
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,446
Come on.
246
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:07,841
Alright, fine, what
are we playing for?
247
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,407
- I like your watch.
248
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,714
- Oh, my watch?
249
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,715
- Hm-hmm.
250
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,586
- Alright, but if you lose,
251
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:18,503
you gotta suck my scrot.
252
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,419
- I wasn't expecting that.
253
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,986
- We have a bet?
254
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,422
- Yep, it's a deal, step aside.
255
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,554
- Alright, here we go.
256
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,082
- No, no, no! How?!
257
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,520
Come on, give me a little kiss,
258
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:36,826
just for being a good sport.
259
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,698
Ow!
260
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,137
- It's been a pleasure.
261
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,012
- Oh that was so hot!
262
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,840
That was
pretty impressive.
263
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,276
- Excuse me?
264
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,278
- You should try that
on a real man some time.
265
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:56,106
- I'll put that
on my to-do list.
266
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,195
- I just want you to know,
I had your back over there.
267
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,067
Just in case things
got out of control.
268
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,329
- And that's what carried me
269
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,983
through my moment of doubt.
270
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,593
- I bet.
271
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,770
I'm a second degree black
belt in ju...kin...do.
272
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,119
Most people don't know about it,
273
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,425
it's some Bruce Lee shit.
274
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,079
- Oh that practically
makes us soul mates.
275
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,776
We should just have sex now.
276
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,170
- Couldn't agree more.
277
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,780
Wait, wait, wait.
278
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:19,956
I have to know your name.
279
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,479
-Do you?
280
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,829
- It would be rude of
me not to know the name
281
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,656
of the girl that's going
to take me home tonight.
282
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,006
- Hmm...
283
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,879
Tell you what,
284
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,881
see that creepy looking
guy over there at the bar?
285
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,492
Snuffleupagus?
286
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,756
Hm-hmm, here's the bet:
287
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,975
I can predict that in
the next 10 seconds
288
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,108
he will put his glasses on,
289
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,894
if so, I get your drink
and you walk away,
290
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,288
if not, I'll give you my number.
291
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,595
- That is some
serious Kreskin shit,
292
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,293
but I like it.
293
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:55,818
Alright, creepy dude
puts his glasses on,
294
00:12:55,862 --> 00:13:00,127
10 seconds, starting now.
295
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,172
One... two...
296
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,914
- Who wants to see my tits?!
297
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,263
- Tits?
298
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,830
Where?
299
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,440
- That was cheap.
300
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,314
- Later, loser.
301
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,011
- That was cheap!
302
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:17,709
Pretty impressive, but cheap.
303
00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,367
- It's the effort
that counts, Vince.
304
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:25,021
- So she's not
gonna show her tits?
305
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,457
- Unfortunately, no.
306
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,372
- I wanna see some titties.
307
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,592
- The night is still young
my black and white friends,
308
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:32,289
Celeste is a go, I repeat,
309
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,248
Celeste is a go.
310
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,033
- Hey!
- Hi!
311
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,470
- Hey Jane, this is Kenny.
312
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,604
- Hi Kenny, oh,
nice to meet you.
313
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:43,910
- Nice to finally meet you.
314
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,085
- I'm so glad you made it,
315
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,434
I was afraid you'd gotten lost.
316
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:47,870
- I was just dealing
with some drunk asshole
317
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,437
by the dartboard.
318
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,091
Do you wanna watch?
319
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,570
- What? Seriously?
320
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,050
- It's all yours.
321
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,530
Cool.
322
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:56,923
Check it out.
323
00:13:56,966 --> 00:14:00,230
- Oh, that's not, that's
not your style, honey.
324
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:01,884
- I like it.
325
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,599
Oh my
God, did you hear that?
326
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:24,907
Morning!
327
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,170
- Good morning,
you're not ready.
328
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:29,303
Yeah, I'm ready,
in fact I'll go get ready.
329
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:35,962
- Oh my God, what
happened last night?
330
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,878
Did you guys go out
after I dropped you off?
331
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:42,403
- I didn't... some guys
actually stopped by after,
332
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,926
that's all.
333
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,363
- Uh-huh, okay, well
we're running late.
334
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,322
Did you not get my text
about going running?
335
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,324
- Running? Yes.
336
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,586
Yeah, I did, I'm ready.
337
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:52,630
- Uh-huh.
338
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,981
- Look, I just... okay.
339
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,637
- Oh, we're doing this now.
340
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,988
Jane, you remember my
boyfriend and his balls.
341
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,032
- Hello.
342
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,947
Hello!
343
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,253
- What was that?
344
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,558
- What? Nothing.
345
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:11,084
Kenny,
buddy, little help!
346
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,566
- Oh, this is gonna suck.
347
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:21,921
- Hey, Steph, I didn't
realize you were here.
348
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,099
Holy shit, it's you.
349
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,102
- Oh, hi.
350
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,886
Hi.
351
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,540
You're
friends with this guy?
352
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,934
- Friends is a strong word.
353
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:38,807
- It's me, from
the bar, the bet.
354
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:39,982
I never got your name.
355
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,331
- Jane.
356
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,898
- Hi, Jane.
357
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,074
I'm Vince, I'd shake
your hand but er --
358
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,902
- Oh no, no, no, I understand.
359
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,860
- How do you guys
know each other?
360
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,124
- Stephanie and I
are old friends.
361
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,647
- Well I can't
believe you're friends
362
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:53,996
and we've never met.
363
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,432
- It was sort of by design.
364
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,913
- Kenny and I are old
friends too, like family.
365
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,175
His parents took me in actually
366
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,437
when I was a wayward youth.
367
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,135
Trust me, I would
not be where I am
368
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,440
if it wasn't for him.
369
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,572
- Taped to the wall?
370
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,052
- No, no, no, in life.
371
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,923
They gave me shelter,
but more than that
372
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,100
they gave me direction.
373
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,493
We are going to
have a great time,
374
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,321
the four of us.
375
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:16,627
Stephanie, I know that
honesty is a big deal
376
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:17,759
between you and
Kenny so I just wanna
377
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,674
go and confirm that
bringing Celeste
378
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,328
and her friends back
here was completely
379
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:24,331
my idea, Kenny was
adamantly opposed to it.
380
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:28,813
- I don't think I've met
Celeste, she sounds lovely.
381
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,293
Look, I hadn't
either, I promise,
382
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,426
she's just a stripper that
Vince has been seeing.
383
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:35,081
Kenny, she
is not a stripper,
384
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,257
she's a student who
occasionally strips
385
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,128
to pay her tuition, obviously.
386
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,391
- Oh well that's
totally different.
387
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,784
- We should all go out sometime,
388
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,525
the four of us, it'd be great.
389
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,745
- Tell you what, we're
going to go for a run.
390
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,530
Kenny, why don't you
peel Vince off the wall
391
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:51,532
and we'll catch up later.
392
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,055
You're an idiot.
393
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,883
- Nice to meet you.
394
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,537
- Nice to see you.
395
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,713
I can't wait to go out.
396
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,497
Thank God you're here.
397
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,108
The front's gonna be
easy because I waxed
398
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,674
but you may need to get in there
399
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,328
and trim around
the taint a little.
400
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,810
- Hey, honey, honey, I'm sorry,
401
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,681
nothing happened, nothing
happened, I swear.
402
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,335
- You really need to
take a good hard look
403
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,076
at yourself and decide
what it is you want.
404
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,296
- I want you.
405
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,254
I want you to move in.
406
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,647
- Seriously?!
407
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,344
You're asking me to
move in the morning
408
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,694
after you had strippers
in your house?
409
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,131
- Probably not the best time.
410
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,567
- No, not the best time.
411
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,090
You know what, I love you,
412
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,874
but I swear to God if I
find out you messed around
413
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,790
with one of those hookers
I will take your balls --
414
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,618
- Oh here we go, really focus.
415
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,533
- I'm not kidding, I
will get four horses --
416
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,579
- Ooh alright, think it through.
417
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,668
- I will tie each
ball to the, to the...
418
00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:43,149
- No, I only have two balls.
419
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,673
- You know what,
I'm not doing it,
420
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:46,978
I'll leave you.
421
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:49,111
How about that, is
that clear enough?
422
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,157
- Crystal.
423
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,376
It's lacking a
little imagination.
424
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,030
- Get your shit together, boy.
425
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,433
Look, I dunno
if I'm the best person
426
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,130
to give you advice on this.
427
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:11,351
I just met him but he seems
like a pretty good guy.
428
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,092
Yeah,
he's good on his own.
429
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:14,267
Just when he gets around Vince
430
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,790
he turns into a turd.
431
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,835
Seriously, what
is up with that guy?
432
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,185
Shit for brains.
433
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,665
He's your typical
alpha-male douchebag.
434
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:24,886
He probably has mommy issues,
possible latent homosexuality
435
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,366
overcompensating
by sleeping with
436
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,063
as many women as possible.
437
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,760
- Big ego.
- Yeah.
438
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,371
- Big bank account.
- Uh-huh.
439
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,937
- And a little dick.
- Likely.
440
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:35,157
- Sounds like somebody
I used to know.
441
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,028
- Honey, I know I've
said this before,
442
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:40,162
but you're just so
much better off now.
443
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,164
- I know, I'm insane,
444
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,905
ever since it happened I've been
445
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,342
destroying men on
two continents.
446
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,518
It's so pleasurable
it frightens me.
447
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,521
It's no good.
448
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,480
- That's not true, you
have taught a lot of men
449
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,177
a lot of lessons.
450
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,136
In fact, you know who could
use a good dose of you?
451
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,660
Who, the guy with
his junk taped to the wall?
452
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,315
Looked to me like he
already learned his lesson.
453
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:05,013
- Yeah? Did it sound
like he learned it?
454
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:08,582
- I dunno, Steph, I
do a lot of damage.
455
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,585
- Listen, I love
Kenny, but that guy...
456
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,283
trust me, this would
be productive damage.
457
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:18,592
- Morning, Tracy.
458
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,071
Morning, Vince.
459
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,812
Mr. Campbell is looking for you.
460
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,988
- Tell him I'm in a
meeting or something, okay,
461
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,513
I can't deal with that
miserable fuck today.
462
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:27,949
Good morning, Sir!
463
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,733
- Morning, handsome.
464
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:30,995
Excuse me.
465
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,128
Tracy!
466
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,653
Hi, Mr. Campbell
is in my office.
467
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:41,702
- Oh, okay, Mr. Campbell
is looking for you
468
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,443
in your office.
469
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,228
- I see that, yeah,
why did I hire you?
470
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,623
- Because I am too old
for you to consider
471
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,582
having sex with me.
472
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,280
- That is not true, I hired you
473
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,325
because I needed somebody to...
474
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,241
Okay, maybe that
is why I hired you,
475
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:00,634
just, carry on.
476
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:03,550
- Okay, but I just
want to tell you that
477
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:08,163
there could be a lot of
heat in my secret place
478
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,861
if you were interested.
479
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,214
I said, my secret place.
480
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,173
I'm just saying.
481
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,914
- Guten tag, Tracy.
482
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,612
Guten tag,
I scoot back now.
483
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,269
- Sir, what can I do for you?
484
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,315
Well,
Vince, to be honest,
485
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,447
it's my instinct to let you go.
486
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:34,276
You roll into work
whenever suits you,
487
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,367
and you continually
sleep with your clients.
488
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,239
- I think it's important
to stay in contact
489
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,892
with your clients
after the case.
490
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,372
I understand that,
491
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:44,982
but people talk,
word gets around,
492
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,723
it's not good for our image.
493
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,595
- Right.
494
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:50,379
Vincent,
you are without a doubt,
495
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,947
one of the best
attorneys in town but --
496
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:56,733
- You know, Jack,
I never liked you.
497
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,954
I think you are a
miserable, petty bastard,
498
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:03,653
and frankly, I'm looking at this
like you're doing me a favor.
499
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,482
Now, I don't have to listen
to your long-winded stories
500
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:11,226
about golf and your
insufferable fucking children.
501
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,402
Oh and by the way,
your wife, yeah,
502
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:15,404
let's just say at the
company Christmas party
503
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:17,624
she stuffed mistletoe
into my belly button
504
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:20,496
and tried to kiss my dick.
505
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:23,369
- You didn't let me finish.
506
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:26,633
I was going to fire
you but our Mr. Kendrick
507
00:21:26,676 --> 00:21:30,637
insisted that you represent
him in his divorce case.
508
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,116
I'm sorry, what?
509
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,816
James Kendrick, the Pickle
Prince of Providence?
510
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:37,992
- The very one.
511
00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:40,690
And if you can make this
firm's biggest client happy,
512
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,345
we'll make you a
partner, understand?
513
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:48,045
- That thing, the
thing I just said.
514
00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:50,091
- About my wife and your dick?
515
00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:51,832
- Yeah, that thing,
that's the one.
516
00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:58,578
- No, no, you're right.
517
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:01,624
She's a whore, you're
just being honest.
518
00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:07,282
- Alright, the play's at first.
519
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,766
That's alright buddy,
stay down on it.
520
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,724
- This kid is fucking
useless, alright.
521
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,509
Bobby, give me 10 laps now.
522
00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:18,554
- No, Bobby, stay, it's fine.
523
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:20,077
Ease up, that's my nephew.
524
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:21,688
- I realize that
and as his uncle
525
00:22:21,731 --> 00:22:23,429
you should be embarrassed.
526
00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:25,387
Alright, fellas, listen up.
527
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,041
You wanna go through
life afraid every time
528
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,172
some balls come
flying at your face?
529
00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:29,348
Come on!
530
00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:32,742
Metaphorically speaking, okay.
531
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,483
Balls being life's
problems, alright,
532
00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:36,964
not actual balls in your face.
533
00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:38,269
Grow up.
534
00:22:38,313 --> 00:22:40,576
- That's good, okay,
go get some water.
535
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,099
Yeah,
like you deserve it,
536
00:22:42,143 --> 00:22:43,274
you haven't done anything.
537
00:22:43,318 --> 00:22:44,624
Hustle up!
538
00:22:47,714 --> 00:22:51,587
- Listen, Kenny, I wanna
apologize for last night,
539
00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:54,068
I'll call Stephanie
and smooth things over.
540
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:56,984
- Do not call her, that
will just make it worse.
541
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,420
- I'm starting to get
the impression that
542
00:22:58,464 --> 00:22:59,813
she doesn't like me very much.
543
00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:01,510
- Do you really care
what she thinks?
544
00:23:01,554 --> 00:23:03,425
- Of course I care
what she thinks.
545
00:23:03,469 --> 00:23:06,646
This is the woman you're
gonna marry someday, right?
546
00:23:06,689 --> 00:23:08,212
- I appreciate
your understanding.
547
00:23:08,256 --> 00:23:09,388
- Yeah, let's talk
about Jane though,
548
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:10,563
what's up her?
549
00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:12,042
- I know, she's beautiful.
550
00:23:12,086 --> 00:23:13,609
Beautiful, no,
a sunset is beautiful,
551
00:23:13,653 --> 00:23:15,306
she's fantastic.
552
00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:16,917
She's ass-tastic.
553
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,875
Oh I should trademark
that, ass-tastic.
554
00:23:18,919 --> 00:23:20,224
I like that.
555
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:21,965
- She went through
an awful divorce.
556
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,837
- Well that could be a
positive thing, right,
557
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,578
it's like the wounded
gazelle syndrome,
558
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,406
makes it easier for the
lion to take her down.
559
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,799
Me being the lion
in this scenario.
560
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,062
- Her husband cheated on her
and left her with nothing,
561
00:23:32,106 --> 00:23:33,716
and I mean, nothing.
562
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,023
- Yeah, well, maybe
she drove him to it,
563
00:23:36,066 --> 00:23:37,154
you never know.
564
00:23:37,198 --> 00:23:38,460
Just hook a brother up.
565
00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:39,766
- Trust me, after what
she's been through
566
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:43,247
and after the impression
you made
567
00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:45,598
that girl is not going to
date you.
568
00:23:46,903 --> 00:23:48,601
Hi.
569
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:51,691
Yeah, okay.
570
00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:54,998
Sure, see you then.
571
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,525
That was Steph and she
and Jane want to meet
572
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:01,265
you and me out for drinks.
573
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:03,093
- That's what's up.
574
00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:08,272
- Which one of you
is Kenny Peterson?
575
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:10,361
- That's me.
576
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:12,102
- Sign here, please.
577
00:24:12,146 --> 00:24:13,930
- They just said deliver
to a baseball field?
578
00:24:13,974 --> 00:24:16,367
- You have no idea what
it took to find you, okay?
579
00:24:16,411 --> 00:24:18,326
- Who's it from?
580
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,110
- Anonymous.
581
00:24:20,154 --> 00:24:21,808
Who cares who
it's from, just open it.
582
00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:23,418
- Alright.
583
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:29,598
- Holy shoot balls!
584
00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:31,687
Look at this, it's new unis.
585
00:24:31,731 --> 00:24:34,124
- Wow! Those are
the shit my friend.
586
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:37,563
40, 60 poly-cotton blend, woo!
587
00:24:37,606 --> 00:24:41,001
And you know what
they're soft and durable.
588
00:24:41,044 --> 00:24:42,655
- How the hell you know that?
589
00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:44,657
- I was curious and
I opened up the box.
590
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:46,528
- You opened up the package?
591
00:24:46,572 --> 00:24:48,182
- It happens all
the time, player,
592
00:24:48,225 --> 00:24:49,749
welcome to the future.
593
00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:51,315
- I dunno what that means.
594
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:52,795
- It means whatever
you want it to be,
595
00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:54,144
okay, alright?
596
00:24:54,188 --> 00:24:56,146
Get off my case.
597
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:58,279
- Take it easy, you
can go, thank you.
598
00:24:58,322 --> 00:25:00,977
- Oh, I see how it is,
599
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,763
I just drop your
shit off and then
600
00:25:03,806 --> 00:25:05,068
just forget about me, huh?
601
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,419
- You're a delivery guy, right?
602
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:09,464
- Okay, you know what,
603
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:10,683
I'm gonna bounce, alright?
604
00:25:10,726 --> 00:25:12,554
Sorry, don't get your
panties in a wad.
605
00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:14,817
It's not like I took the
jersey and danced around
606
00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:16,819
with a bowl of jello while
eating it in the bathroom.
607
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,475
- That's awfully specific.
608
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,696
- What do you guys care?
609
00:25:23,739 --> 00:25:25,306
Have a great day!
610
00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:29,049
- What the...?
611
00:25:29,092 --> 00:25:30,267
Hey, new unis!
612
00:25:30,311 --> 00:25:32,748
Come on, guys.
613
00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,533
If you wanna look
like champs, get over here.
614
00:25:35,795 --> 00:25:38,101
- Check 'em out.
615
00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:39,973
Finally, you guys will
look presentable around me.
616
00:25:41,975 --> 00:25:43,367
- What?
617
00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:44,586
- Thank you.
618
00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:46,414
- What are you talking about?
619
00:25:46,457 --> 00:25:48,590
I'm sorry, alright, just
don't go all homo on me.
620
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:50,418
Knock it off.
621
00:26:21,841 --> 00:26:25,888
- I have to say that I was
flattered you requested me.
622
00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:29,675
- Your little spitfire
client, Mrs. Kemp,
623
00:26:29,718 --> 00:26:32,503
is actually a friend of mine.
624
00:26:32,547 --> 00:26:34,331
How you got the judge
to side with her
625
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:35,898
is nothing short of a miracle.
626
00:26:35,942 --> 00:26:38,118
She is no angel.
627
00:26:40,468 --> 00:26:41,730
- Fortunately, that
doesn't matter.
628
00:26:41,774 --> 00:26:43,514
It's all about
what you can prove
629
00:26:43,558 --> 00:26:45,821
and while we're on the
topic, I'm going to
630
00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:47,736
need to ask you if
there's been any
631
00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:49,695
extra-marital activity
in your marriage?
632
00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:51,305
- Oh yeah, tons of it.
633
00:26:51,348 --> 00:26:52,567
- Okay.
634
00:26:54,482 --> 00:26:58,268
- Don't worry, I
keep it on the DL.
635
00:26:58,312 --> 00:27:00,749
She's just a physical
therapist, she helps me
636
00:27:00,793 --> 00:27:04,927
with my bum knee and
my bad shoulders.
637
00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:07,234
She has the most powerful hands,
638
00:27:07,277 --> 00:27:10,193
it's really something.
639
00:27:10,237 --> 00:27:13,980
Sometimes, I have bruising.
640
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:18,419
- If your wife has
a good attorney,
641
00:27:18,462 --> 00:27:19,942
they'll dig that
stuff up and you'll
642
00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:22,728
be in violation of your
pre-marital agreement.
643
00:27:22,771 --> 00:27:25,513
- And now you know
why I hired you.
644
00:27:25,556 --> 00:27:26,340
- I see.
645
00:27:36,089 --> 00:27:40,789
Mount Helena!
646
00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:42,138
Pickle my mouth!
647
00:27:50,581 --> 00:27:52,714
Which is why I never
flush while still sitting,
648
00:27:52,758 --> 00:27:54,063
you never know when
you'll look down
649
00:27:54,107 --> 00:27:56,457
and see 37 feet of colon
staring back up at you.
650
00:27:57,763 --> 00:28:00,200
- So, Jane, Stephanie
tells me that you guys
651
00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:01,810
go back all the
way to high school.
652
00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:06,336
- Yeah, junior high, we
both dated the same guy.
653
00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:08,208
- At the same time? That's hot.
654
00:28:08,251 --> 00:28:09,992
- We were 15.
655
00:28:10,036 --> 00:28:11,037
- Yeah.
656
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,125
- You like that?
657
00:28:12,168 --> 00:28:14,518
- Come on, I'm kidding.
658
00:28:14,562 --> 00:28:16,477
Let me ask you
this, did you guys
659
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,305
have that one night
in college where you
660
00:28:18,348 --> 00:28:19,915
got a little drunk and
accidentally had sex
661
00:28:19,959 --> 00:28:22,831
with one another, like at a
school dance or something?
662
00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:27,401
- Hmm, no, no, I
can't say we did.
663
00:28:27,444 --> 00:28:30,404
- What about you? You ever
drink a little too much
664
00:28:30,447 --> 00:28:34,190
and wake up with Kenny's
balls resting on your chin?
665
00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:35,801
No, but if
that did happen it would
666
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:37,541
be my balls on Kenny's chin.
667
00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:39,195
Alright, let's just be
absolutely clear about that.
668
00:28:39,239 --> 00:28:41,763
Nuh-uh, my balls would
be on your chin.
669
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:45,941
- So Kenny tells me that
your husband cheated
670
00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:47,334
on you and then dumped
you, is that the gist?
671
00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:49,205
- Oh my God, Vince, come on.
672
00:28:49,249 --> 00:28:50,772
I'm so sorry, Jane.
673
00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:53,819
- No, no, no. Let's
just get it out there.
674
00:28:53,862 --> 00:28:55,646
Yeah, he ran off with
one of my friends.
675
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,214
- Ouch.
676
00:28:59,694 --> 00:29:01,000
Well, while we're all sharing.
677
00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:03,785
Something similar
happened to me once.
678
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:06,048
I was dating a girl, we
were getting pretty serious,
679
00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,876
she left for London for a
couple of weeks, for work --
680
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,878
- Where she met a
dashing young English man
681
00:29:09,922 --> 00:29:11,575
who swept her off her feet?
682
00:29:11,619 --> 00:29:13,795
- Yeah, I wish, no.
683
00:29:13,839 --> 00:29:15,536
She came back, everything
was pretty normal
684
00:29:15,579 --> 00:29:17,103
and then one day,
I'll never forget it,
685
00:29:17,146 --> 00:29:19,801
we went for a walk in the
park, a romantic walk,
686
00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:22,761
she was eating a banana,
chopping it into little pieces
687
00:29:22,804 --> 00:29:24,371
which was totally annoying,
but that's not the point.
688
00:29:24,414 --> 00:29:26,025
And she says to me,
"Hold on a second,
689
00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:27,461
"I need to throw
away my banana peel
690
00:29:27,504 --> 00:29:29,202
"in the rubbish bin."
691
00:29:30,464 --> 00:29:32,031
- And?
692
00:29:32,074 --> 00:29:33,946
- And? And what? That was it.
693
00:29:33,989 --> 00:29:35,686
It's a deal breaker,
we broke up that night.
694
00:29:37,297 --> 00:29:38,820
- Really?
695
00:29:38,864 --> 00:29:41,214
- So you actually
broke up with a girl
696
00:29:41,257 --> 00:29:43,303
because she used
the word rubbish?
697
00:29:43,346 --> 00:29:45,392
- Rubbish bin, and yeah.
698
00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:47,220
What kind of woman
goes over to London
699
00:29:47,263 --> 00:29:48,830
for two weeks and has
the audacity to start
700
00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:50,136
using their phrases?
701
00:29:50,179 --> 00:29:51,137
I'll tell you what kind
of woman does that,
702
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:53,748
an unstable one, yeah.
703
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,837
I'm still trying
to get my head around
704
00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:58,144
how that's on par with
my husband cheating on me
705
00:29:58,187 --> 00:30:00,624
with my best friend.
706
00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:01,974
- We both had our hearts broken.
707
00:30:02,017 --> 00:30:03,497
- Oh yeah.
708
00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:06,848
- Love does not discriminate,
but if you ask me,
709
00:30:06,892 --> 00:30:08,545
I think it worked out the
way it was supposed to,
710
00:30:08,589 --> 00:30:11,722
because we're both
here now, right?
711
00:30:15,639 --> 00:30:18,686
- Oh I'm so sorry if
that's what you got.
712
00:30:20,166 --> 00:30:23,865
See right now, I'm really
enjoying being single.
713
00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:27,347
Unfettered, free to
sleep with anyone I want,
714
00:30:27,390 --> 00:30:29,044
whenever I want.
715
00:30:29,088 --> 00:30:30,959
- Yeah, yeah, no feathers, yeah.
716
00:30:31,003 --> 00:30:34,745
- Could be some
unsuspecting guy in a bar
717
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:38,053
or maybe it's just some
stranger who smiles
718
00:30:38,097 --> 00:30:40,186
at me in the right
way on the street.
719
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:44,364
Most of the time I
just wanna get off.
720
00:30:44,407 --> 00:30:45,887
Yeah getting
off's good, yeah.
721
00:30:45,931 --> 00:30:47,584
- But other times
it's revenge sex.
722
00:30:47,628 --> 00:30:49,543
They don't know
that, they just think
723
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:52,372
they've struck gold with
the naughtiest girl in town.
724
00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:56,115
Because, believe me,
725
00:30:56,158 --> 00:30:58,813
when I put my mind to it,
726
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,729
I take it to a whole new level.
727
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:13,306
- Okay, boys, tongues
back in your mouths, huh?
728
00:31:13,349 --> 00:31:15,525
You ready? You okay down there?
729
00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:16,570
We gotta go.
730
00:31:17,701 --> 00:31:19,747
- Wait, wait, we're
not going now,
731
00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:21,009
we're just getting started.
732
00:31:21,053 --> 00:31:22,663
- Look, we've got an
early morning, man,
733
00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:24,578
you guys feel free to carry on.
734
00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:27,886
- Well, come on, let's
just have one drink.
735
00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:29,931
I know a great little
bar, we can play pool,
736
00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:31,802
I'll even let you win.
737
00:31:31,846 --> 00:31:33,239
- You'll let me win?
738
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,370
You wish.
739
00:31:34,414 --> 00:31:36,068
- And to put it bluntly, I am
740
00:31:37,330 --> 00:31:39,549
what they like to
call unbeatable.
741
00:31:39,593 --> 00:31:42,335
- Let me remind you,
the last time we bet
742
00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:44,206
it didn't work out
so well for you.
743
00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:47,035
- It wasn't that.
This is different.
744
00:31:47,079 --> 00:31:50,125
- Alright, well, let's do this.
745
00:31:50,169 --> 00:31:51,300
- Let's do this.
746
00:31:55,522 --> 00:31:57,828
Alright, game
of nine ball, it's on.
747
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:03,704
- Okay, alright, lucky shot
but it's not gonna matter.
748
00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,968
- We forgot to say
what we're playing for.
749
00:32:07,012 --> 00:32:09,057
- What is your pleasure?
750
00:32:09,101 --> 00:32:10,624
- 20 bucks?
751
00:32:12,321 --> 00:32:13,888
- Kinda boring.
752
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,846
- Oh well, what did
you have in mind?
753
00:32:17,239 --> 00:32:19,198
- I think you know what I want.
754
00:32:19,241 --> 00:32:21,330
- Wow, and here I was
thinking you might
755
00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:23,289
come up with something original.
756
00:32:23,332 --> 00:32:25,813
- Trust me, it's
the way that I do it
757
00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:28,424
that makes it original.
758
00:32:28,468 --> 00:32:29,251
- 20 bucks.
759
00:32:29,295 --> 00:32:30,557
Take it or leave it.
760
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,343
- Well, okay, it's a bet.
761
00:32:34,387 --> 00:32:36,171
- So what kind of
law do you practice?
762
00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:39,174
Personal injury? Possibly
with your own TV commercial?
763
00:32:39,218 --> 00:32:40,523
- Yeah, you wish.
764
00:32:40,567 --> 00:32:43,222
I specialize in matrimonial law.
765
00:32:43,265 --> 00:32:45,137
- Oh, so you
basically help spouses
766
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:48,836
fuck each other over,
is that about right?
767
00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:50,446
- When you say it like that
it kinda takes the pleasure
768
00:32:50,490 --> 00:32:51,578
out of it.
769
00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:54,494
Don't you think that
everyone deserves
770
00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:56,061
their day in court?
771
00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:59,325
- Whatever helps
you sleep at night.
772
00:32:59,368 --> 00:33:02,110
- Typically that's
smooth jazz and an H-J.
773
00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:06,810
- So what happens when
you absolutely know
774
00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,464
that you're representing
someone who has
775
00:33:08,508 --> 00:33:10,858
been lying and cheating
on their partner?
776
00:33:10,901 --> 00:33:13,295
- Bill them at 250 an
hour like everyone else.
777
00:33:15,210 --> 00:33:16,820
- Oh remember when
you said you were
778
00:33:16,864 --> 00:33:18,039
going to let me win?
779
00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:24,785
Pay up, bitch.
780
00:33:26,874 --> 00:33:29,877
- That was pretty...
781
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,574
- Impressive?
782
00:33:31,618 --> 00:33:36,275
- Kind of lucky, it might not be
your regulation table, I dunno.
783
00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:38,059
Come on, double or nothing.
784
00:33:38,103 --> 00:33:40,801
- God, I would but
all this law talk
785
00:33:40,844 --> 00:33:42,846
has made me bored.
786
00:33:42,890 --> 00:33:44,370
G'night!
787
00:33:46,763 --> 00:33:48,374
- I'm not sure I
understand the premise.
788
00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:49,766
- It's simple.
789
00:33:49,810 --> 00:33:52,334
You get to do Megan
Fox from behind, right,
790
00:33:52,378 --> 00:33:54,597
but lying on top
of her is a naked,
791
00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:57,774
spread-eagled John Travolta.
792
00:33:57,818 --> 00:33:59,254
But I'm
banging Megan Fox, right?
793
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,517
- Oh yeah, you're
banging Megan Fox.
794
00:34:01,561 --> 00:34:03,867
It's really good, you're
having a good time,
795
00:34:03,911 --> 00:34:05,739
but you're looking
at John Travolta.
796
00:34:05,782 --> 00:34:07,697
- No, screw that,
what's the other option?
797
00:34:07,741 --> 00:34:09,786
- We'll reverse it, Megan
Fox lying spread-eagle
798
00:34:09,830 --> 00:34:11,136
on John Travolta's back.
799
00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,833
- Ah, that one,
I'd take that one.
800
00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:14,530
- So you're fucking
John Travolta
801
00:34:14,574 --> 00:34:16,532
but you're looking at
Megan Fox? Come on.
802
00:34:16,576 --> 00:34:17,838
- Wait, what?
803
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:19,100
- I know, that's the
flip side of that coin.
804
00:34:19,144 --> 00:34:20,623
That's fucked up.
805
00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:21,798
- That's a real brain teaser.
806
00:34:21,842 --> 00:34:22,799
- A cock teaser.
807
00:34:22,843 --> 00:34:24,279
- What about you, Vince?
808
00:34:24,323 --> 00:34:25,889
- I'm just a little preoccupied,
809
00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:27,152
I can't believe she beat me.
810
00:34:27,195 --> 00:34:28,544
I never lose at pool.
811
00:34:28,588 --> 00:34:31,112
- You're acting so pathetic.
812
00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:33,897
- I didn't get a shot off,
she ran the whole table,
813
00:34:33,941 --> 00:34:35,334
it was like I was playing
against that Asian chick
814
00:34:35,377 --> 00:34:36,552
that plays with the black glove.
815
00:34:36,596 --> 00:34:38,685
Jeanette Lee.
816
00:34:38,728 --> 00:34:40,600
- Look, let it
go, she got lucky.
817
00:34:40,643 --> 00:34:42,602
- Only it wasn't luck,
this girl is good.
818
00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:44,821
I need another shot.
819
00:34:44,865 --> 00:34:47,085
- So if you wanna go out
with her, ask her out.
820
00:34:47,128 --> 00:34:48,695
- Yeah, I do, but it's
more than that now.
821
00:34:48,738 --> 00:34:50,436
I need to beat her.
822
00:34:50,479 --> 00:34:52,699
So she's gotten under
your skin, hear that, fellas?
823
00:34:52,742 --> 00:34:55,832
The great Vince
finally met his match.
824
00:34:55,876 --> 00:34:57,095
I need
to redeem myself.
825
00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:59,445
- Appeal to her
sense of competition.
826
00:34:59,488 --> 00:35:01,229
- Well she's obviously
good at bar games,
827
00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:03,057
maybe take her out
of her comfort zone.
828
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:04,754
- You guys done stretching?
829
00:35:04,798 --> 00:35:06,234
Are we gonna do this or not?
830
00:35:06,278 --> 00:35:08,149
- Oh, I didn't realize
that not jogging
831
00:35:08,193 --> 00:35:11,544
was still an option,
because if that's the case
832
00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:13,241
I vote to not jog.
833
00:35:13,285 --> 00:35:15,025
- I'm with you, I
vote for that too.
834
00:35:15,069 --> 00:35:16,462
- I'm starving.
835
00:35:16,505 --> 00:35:18,768
- Let's get it, sandwiches.
836
00:35:18,812 --> 00:35:20,030
- Let's do that.
837
00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:21,902
- Great workout, guys.
838
00:35:21,945 --> 00:35:23,643
Wait, I got it, I got it!
839
00:35:30,476 --> 00:35:31,738
- Yes!
840
00:35:33,392 --> 00:35:35,437
It's too easy.
841
00:35:43,358 --> 00:35:44,620
- Archery.
842
00:35:44,664 --> 00:35:46,579
- No, man, that's
just giant darts
843
00:35:46,622 --> 00:35:48,668
and we know how good
she is with those.
844
00:35:48,711 --> 00:35:50,887
- Think outside the box
or inside, I don't care,
845
00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:53,238
just come up with something
where I can't lose.
846
00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:54,543
- Bridge building.
847
00:35:54,587 --> 00:35:56,154
- Boulder lifting.
848
00:35:56,197 --> 00:35:57,981
- No, no, what we need to do,
849
00:35:58,025 --> 00:35:59,809
and by the way those
are horrible ideas,
850
00:35:59,853 --> 00:36:03,117
what we need to do is get
away from the physical,
851
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,858
because I bet this
little spinner
852
00:36:04,901 --> 00:36:06,468
can shit bigger than he does.
- Bite me.
853
00:36:06,512 --> 00:36:08,470
- We need to get
to the intellect.
854
00:36:08,514 --> 00:36:10,342
- That's right, the intellect,
855
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,387
that's what I'm known
for, that's my thing.
856
00:36:12,431 --> 00:36:13,736
Okay, intellect.
857
00:36:20,961 --> 00:36:23,398
- I think we'll call
that a checkmate.
858
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,455
- Who's sleeping with who here?
859
00:36:36,498 --> 00:36:37,847
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
860
00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:44,985
That's a jumbo jet, yeah.
861
00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:49,076
- This doesn't look
like an airplane.
862
00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:52,732
- Well, it's an airplane
that just crash landed,
863
00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:54,386
in the rocks.
864
00:36:54,429 --> 00:36:56,388
Oh!
865
00:36:56,431 --> 00:36:58,955
You're very good!
866
00:37:07,137 --> 00:37:10,097
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
867
00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:11,794
- That's rough, man.
868
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:13,274
- I dunno, I'm starting
to lose respect for you,
869
00:37:13,318 --> 00:37:14,580
I gotta be honest.
870
00:37:14,623 --> 00:37:15,842
It's like the first
time I saw my girlfriend
871
00:37:15,885 --> 00:37:17,365
go to the bathroom,
872
00:37:17,409 --> 00:37:18,975
I realized that we
were no different.
873
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:21,282
Sad day.
874
00:37:21,326 --> 00:37:24,198
- I think you're very talented.
875
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:25,939
- This is your fault, Kenny.
876
00:37:25,982 --> 00:37:27,288
- What? What did I do?
877
00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:28,724
- You told me to
use my intelligence
878
00:37:28,768 --> 00:37:30,073
so you need to come
up with something
879
00:37:30,117 --> 00:37:31,814
that doesn't involve any
sort of physical prowess
880
00:37:31,858 --> 00:37:33,686
or any sort of intellect.
881
00:37:35,296 --> 00:37:37,080
- You ready?
882
00:37:37,124 --> 00:37:38,604
- Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready.
883
00:37:38,647 --> 00:37:40,954
- Okay, and go!
884
00:37:43,086 --> 00:37:44,262
- Forrest Gump!
885
00:37:44,305 --> 00:37:45,567
- Yes!
886
00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:48,614
- Forrest Gump, bullshit.
887
00:37:48,657 --> 00:37:49,658
- That's impossible.
888
00:37:49,702 --> 00:37:52,139
- Suck it! Suck it!
889
00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:54,707
It's like you guys
are cheating, it's bullshit.
890
00:37:56,491 --> 00:37:58,493
- Being a sore loser is
not an attractive quality.
891
00:37:59,668 --> 00:38:01,061
- Let's play something else.
892
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:02,541
- Don't give up
so easy, alright,
893
00:38:02,584 --> 00:38:03,890
we're men, we're warriors.
894
00:38:03,933 --> 00:38:05,674
I want a rematch.
895
00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:07,197
All or nothing, let's do this.
896
00:38:07,241 --> 00:38:08,286
Alright, tell you what,
897
00:38:08,329 --> 00:38:09,591
one card.
898
00:38:09,635 --> 00:38:11,158
All you have to get
is just one card.
899
00:38:11,201 --> 00:38:12,377
- Done.
900
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:13,900
- That's not a good
idea, probably.
901
00:38:13,943 --> 00:38:15,075
- What are you talking about?
902
00:38:15,118 --> 00:38:16,685
Have a little faith,
are you with me?
903
00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:18,383
I guess.
904
00:38:18,426 --> 00:38:20,820
- I said, are you
with me bro?! Come on!
905
00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,300
- I guess.
906
00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:26,304
- Let's win this motherfucker.
907
00:38:26,347 --> 00:38:28,349
- What's the wager?
908
00:38:28,393 --> 00:38:30,395
- I mean Jane obviously
knows what I want
909
00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:31,657
and I'm pretty sure
Kenny's going to be playing
910
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:32,701
for the old two hole.
911
00:38:32,745 --> 00:38:33,528
-What?!
912
00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:35,356
- Huh, no I didn't...
913
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,705
we'll talk.
914
00:38:36,749 --> 00:38:38,098
- See, when you're not around,
915
00:38:38,141 --> 00:38:39,491
all we do is talk
about the glory hole.
916
00:38:39,534 --> 00:38:40,579
- That is not happening.
917
00:38:40,622 --> 00:38:42,145
- That's not the truth,
- Uh-huh.
918
00:38:42,189 --> 00:38:43,930
- It's not like I'm always
just like talking about
919
00:38:43,973 --> 00:38:45,758
how I want to do that so bad.
920
00:38:45,801 --> 00:38:46,715
- It's talked about a lot.
921
00:38:46,759 --> 00:38:48,326
- Exit only.
922
00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:49,370
- There's a lot of ass
talk but not like so much
923
00:38:49,414 --> 00:38:51,241
like I'm weird or...
924
00:38:51,285 --> 00:38:52,634
What if we lose?
925
00:38:52,678 --> 00:38:55,333
- Oh, I'm pretty sure we
can think of something.
926
00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:57,030
That does not involve my butt.
927
00:38:57,073 --> 00:38:59,206
- Don't worry about it,
we're not gonna lose.
928
00:38:59,249 --> 00:39:02,122
Do you wanna be the actor or
do you wanna be the guesser?
929
00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:04,472
And just for the record,
you suck at both.
930
00:39:04,516 --> 00:39:06,213
- Well that is not very nice,
931
00:39:06,256 --> 00:39:07,606
and I'll be the actor.
932
00:39:07,649 --> 00:39:08,650
Let's do this!
933
00:39:08,694 --> 00:39:10,260
- It's on!
934
00:39:10,304 --> 00:39:12,262
Come on, Kenny!
935
00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:14,177
- Come on, babe.
936
00:39:14,221 --> 00:39:15,831
- Let's go, Kenny,
get a good one.
937
00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:18,399
- Fuck.
938
00:39:18,443 --> 00:39:19,618
- Fuck, why fuck? No.
939
00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,489
No, no fucks! Pick another one.
940
00:39:21,533 --> 00:39:23,665
Pick another one,
mulligan, mulligan.
941
00:39:23,709 --> 00:39:25,275
Get another one.
942
00:39:25,319 --> 00:39:26,538
- Yeah, nice try.
943
00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:29,802
- You can do this bro.
944
00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:31,456
Focus, Kenny, focus.
945
00:39:31,499 --> 00:39:33,675
Three,
two, one, hit it!
946
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,330
- Do it, Kenny!
- Fucking focus, man!
947
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:37,853
Feel it, feel it, feel it!
948
00:39:37,897 --> 00:39:39,551
You can do this! Focus
focus focus focus --
949
00:39:39,594 --> 00:39:40,900
- Stop yelling at me!
950
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:48,864
Um, shot,
shooting, shot, shotgun,
951
00:39:48,908 --> 00:39:51,432
shotgun wedding,
shotgun... rifle men,
952
00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:53,391
Clint Eastwood! Clint
Eastwood
953
00:39:53,434 --> 00:39:56,742
Tombstone, Dog Day Afternoon,
954
00:39:56,785 --> 00:39:59,440
shooting stars, shooting
stars, is it shooting star?
955
00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:01,573
- It's not a shooting star!
956
00:40:01,616 --> 00:40:03,966
- You're shooting,
you're still shooting,
957
00:40:04,010 --> 00:40:05,054
I shot the sheriff
but I didn't, I shot
958
00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:06,795
the fucking deputy, Bob Marley!
959
00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:08,231
It's Bob Marley,
is it Bob Marley?
960
00:40:08,275 --> 00:40:10,146
Quit shooting! Quit
fucking shooting, dude,
961
00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:12,410
for the love of God.
962
00:40:12,453 --> 00:40:13,933
Oh okay, fuck, yeah.
963
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:18,372
Dog, doggy, doggy style!
964
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,767
- Did he say doggy style?
965
00:40:21,810 --> 00:40:23,725
Possum,
playing possum, bear,
966
00:40:23,769 --> 00:40:26,641
bear, barely legal!
Debbie Does Dallas.
967
00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:30,863
Bear, bear claws, bear
growl, Bear Grylls!
968
00:40:30,906 --> 00:40:32,473
Bareback, you're
riding bareback,
969
00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:33,474
you're not wearing a condom.
970
00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:34,693
- What?!
971
00:40:34,736 --> 00:40:36,825
Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
972
00:40:36,869 --> 00:40:37,783
Smell my finger.
973
00:40:37,826 --> 00:40:39,349
- Smell my finger?!
974
00:40:39,393 --> 00:40:40,568
Okay, you guys are low on time.
975
00:40:40,612 --> 00:40:42,222
- Fuck, Kenny, fuck!
976
00:40:44,616 --> 00:40:46,356
Is this part of the game
or is he having a stroke?
977
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,576
Oh, Kirk Douglas! Spartacus...
978
00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:51,536
I still don't know
what this means.
979
00:40:51,579 --> 00:40:53,842
- Seconds away.
980
00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:55,496
Yo, taxi!
981
00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:56,976
- Hey, no sound effects!
982
00:40:57,019 --> 00:40:59,108
- Boom, I got it, yes!
983
00:41:01,589 --> 00:41:04,549
It's Taxi Driver, Deer Hunter,
984
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:07,073
Robert fucking De Niro, yeah!
985
00:41:07,116 --> 00:41:08,683
Take that other team!
986
00:41:08,727 --> 00:41:11,207
- And, time.
987
00:41:11,251 --> 00:41:15,473
It's taxidermy you
idiot.
988
00:41:17,126 --> 00:41:20,129
Fuck! From now
on, you're the guesser
989
00:41:20,173 --> 00:41:23,524
and I'm the actor. Bullshit.
990
00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:26,919
- It's just so sad,
it's just so sad.
991
00:41:26,962 --> 00:41:29,965
I think it's time
you guys paid up.
992
00:41:55,948 --> 00:41:57,993
- Let's hear it for our bitches!
993
00:42:01,214 --> 00:42:04,522
Well our next act is
new to The Glory Hole,
994
00:42:04,565 --> 00:42:07,220
so let's make them
feel right at home,
995
00:42:07,263 --> 00:42:11,964
please give a nice warm
welcome to Shaft and Balls!
996
00:42:14,444 --> 00:42:20,146
♪ Mr. Sexy, tell me
what you wanna do tonight,
997
00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:24,063
♪ Freaky freaky freaky boys
998
00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:27,675
♪ What you wanna do tonight
999
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:31,157
♪ It's the sexy boys,
it's the sexy boys,
1000
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,726
♪ Tell me what you
wanna do tonight ♪
1001
00:43:10,675 --> 00:43:14,026
- What a rush.
1002
00:43:14,069 --> 00:43:16,550
I mean how great
was that, honey?
1003
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:19,118
- That was definitely something.
1004
00:43:19,161 --> 00:43:21,424
- How about Vince and Jane?
1005
00:43:21,468 --> 00:43:23,383
I mean, how much fun are they?
1006
00:43:23,426 --> 00:43:24,950
Think about it, we
could be spending
1007
00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:27,692
a lot of time together,
we'll be like The Rat Pack.
1008
00:43:27,735 --> 00:43:30,695
- Yeah, except nothing
like The Rat Pack.
1009
00:43:30,738 --> 00:43:33,132
- No.
1010
00:43:33,175 --> 00:43:34,699
- I had fun, honey,
but I'm not ready to
1011
00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:36,614
buy a timeshare with them.
1012
00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:40,530
- You know, call me
crazy, but I think
1013
00:43:40,574 --> 00:43:43,795
they might end up together.
1014
00:43:43,838 --> 00:43:46,580
I'm serious, and as much
as I like seeing Vince
1015
00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:50,671
get his ass handed to
him, he's not all bad.
1016
00:43:50,715 --> 00:43:54,283
I think it just might
take the right woman.
1017
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:16,436
- I've been giving
it some thought
1018
00:44:16,479 --> 00:44:19,482
and I wanted to ask you,
1019
00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,136
do you think I could
borrow this trophy
1020
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:22,442
for a couple of days
so I could mount it
1021
00:44:22,485 --> 00:44:23,748
on the front of my car?
1022
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:25,445
- Be honest, I know you want it.
1023
00:44:28,796 --> 00:44:30,580
It's so good.
1024
00:44:30,624 --> 00:44:33,758
- Laugh it up, but
I gotta tell you,
1025
00:44:33,801 --> 00:44:35,760
third place, that's
a bunch of bullshit.
1026
00:44:35,803 --> 00:44:37,239
We deserved way better
than third place,
1027
00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:40,199
I think this whole
thing was rigged.
1028
00:44:40,242 --> 00:44:44,899
- Oh God, if I live to
be 100 the image of you
1029
00:44:44,943 --> 00:44:49,164
and Kenny will remain in my
atrophied brain.
1030
00:44:50,862 --> 00:44:52,472
What was this?
1031
00:44:55,649 --> 00:44:58,260
- That was Kenny's idea.
1032
00:44:58,304 --> 00:45:00,219
- It was beautiful.
1033
00:45:00,262 --> 00:45:02,221
- No chance in hell.
1034
00:45:02,264 --> 00:45:05,790
Even if that was true,
he'd screw it up.
1035
00:45:07,356 --> 00:45:10,011
- Wanna make a bet?
1036
00:45:10,055 --> 00:45:12,579
If he doesn't screw
it up, then you
1037
00:45:12,622 --> 00:45:14,886
have to move in with me.
1038
00:45:14,929 --> 00:45:19,151
- Wow, honey, I kinda
imagined this as
1039
00:45:19,194 --> 00:45:22,023
a romantic moment, not
an I'm-drunk-off-my-ass,
1040
00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:24,983
let's-wager-our-future-on-
our-friends'-love-lives moment.
1041
00:45:26,288 --> 00:45:29,683
- Great, so it's a bet.
1042
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,990
- Okay, sure, honey, it's a bet.
1043
00:45:32,033 --> 00:45:34,732
But don't get your hopes up.
1044
00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:37,169
We totally
should get a timeshare.
1045
00:45:39,649 --> 00:45:44,263
- Okay, but in all
seriousness, I'm very impressed
1046
00:45:44,306 --> 00:45:45,655
that you followed through.
1047
00:45:46,831 --> 00:45:49,007
You may actually be
a man of your word
1048
00:45:49,050 --> 00:45:52,706
and I didn't expect that
from a guy like you.
1049
00:45:55,230 --> 00:45:57,624
- A guy like me? What
the fuck does that mean?
1050
00:45:57,667 --> 00:46:00,148
- Well, you know, you're
a type, that's all.
1051
00:46:01,497 --> 00:46:04,022
Frat boy, trying to
hang on to his youth.
1052
00:46:04,065 --> 00:46:05,588
You're not unique.
1053
00:46:05,632 --> 00:46:07,982
- Excuse me?
1054
00:46:08,026 --> 00:46:12,073
I just won a 13 inch golden
penis for a performance
1055
00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:14,467
at perhaps the gayest
club in America,
1056
00:46:14,510 --> 00:46:17,209
the fuck I'm not unique.
1057
00:46:17,252 --> 00:46:18,601
- Well, maybe I'm wrong.
1058
00:46:20,908 --> 00:46:23,389
- I think that you think
that I'm not capable
1059
00:46:23,432 --> 00:46:26,522
of living the life of
a responsible adult.
1060
00:46:26,566 --> 00:46:28,829
You think I'm not capable
of a real relationship.
1061
00:46:28,873 --> 00:46:31,092
- Hmm, that's what I think.
1062
00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:33,791
- I think that I'm very
capable of a real relationship,
1063
00:46:33,834 --> 00:46:35,618
I don't know when or where
that's going to come from
1064
00:46:35,662 --> 00:46:37,229
but it's there.
1065
00:46:37,272 --> 00:46:39,405
Well, you're
the one who has to
1066
00:46:39,448 --> 00:46:42,669
make it happen,
Vince, or you settle.
1067
00:46:42,712 --> 00:46:43,801
- How do you know?
1068
00:46:43,844 --> 00:46:44,845
- Oh, I know.
1069
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:48,718
You'll continue to
find what you think
1070
00:46:48,762 --> 00:46:52,244
is that special someone,
but once the chase is over
1071
00:46:52,287 --> 00:46:54,463
you'll move onto the
next, never really getting
1072
00:46:54,507 --> 00:46:56,291
to know anyone along the way,
1073
00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,729
this path leads to your destiny,
1074
00:46:59,773 --> 00:47:01,557
which is hanging out
with other losers,
1075
00:47:01,601 --> 00:47:04,082
eating cereal out of a pot,
because all of your other
1076
00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:05,431
dishes are dirty.
1077
00:47:05,474 --> 00:47:07,607
- Do not knock cereal,
it's food and drink
1078
00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:09,174
all wrapped into one.
1079
00:47:09,217 --> 00:47:11,611
- Yeah, and you'll
waste all your time
1080
00:47:11,654 --> 00:47:13,656
playing video games
and the occasional
1081
00:47:13,700 --> 00:47:15,441
no strings attached sex
with someone you have
1082
00:47:15,484 --> 00:47:16,834
no respect for.
1083
00:47:16,877 --> 00:47:18,487
- That doesn't sound that bad.
1084
00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:22,013
- Yeah, well wait until she
decides to spend the night.
1085
00:47:22,056 --> 00:47:24,624
Yep, it's as
predictable as the sun
1086
00:47:24,667 --> 00:47:25,973
coming up in the morning.
1087
00:47:35,765 --> 00:47:37,811
- How's that for predictable?
1088
00:47:42,772 --> 00:47:44,600
- I gotta go.
1089
00:47:56,134 --> 00:47:58,658
- Oh, are you sure
you don't wanna
1090
00:47:58,701 --> 00:47:59,789
take this for your mantle?
1091
00:48:06,361 --> 00:48:07,493
- Morning, Trace.
1092
00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:09,712
Morning, you.
1093
00:48:11,149 --> 00:48:13,368
Here, here's your messages.
1094
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:17,677
Okay, this probably
isn't the place,
1095
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:22,725
but I thought you were great.
1096
00:48:22,769 --> 00:48:25,554
I've always had a feeling
but I wasn't sure.
1097
00:48:26,773 --> 00:48:29,819
Now, anyway, if you
want to talk to me
1098
00:48:29,863 --> 00:48:32,344
at anytime, you know
where to find me.
1099
00:48:32,387 --> 00:48:35,173
I will be in my chair.
1100
00:48:35,216 --> 00:48:37,131
- Right, there. Okay.
1101
00:48:37,175 --> 00:48:39,307
Tracy, I have no idea
what you're talking about,
1102
00:48:39,351 --> 00:48:42,615
even more so than normal,
so I'm just gonna...
1103
00:48:42,658 --> 00:48:44,965
- Oh no, okay, wait.
1104
00:48:45,009 --> 00:48:47,489
Maybe you can't see me.
1105
00:48:47,533 --> 00:48:48,969
Listen.
- What are you doing?
1106
00:48:49,013 --> 00:48:50,057
- Listen to me.
1107
00:48:50,101 --> 00:48:51,450
-Why are you
getting on the desk?
1108
00:48:51,493 --> 00:48:55,454
- Listen to me, this is
important; you're here,
1109
00:48:55,497 --> 00:48:57,543
you're queer,
1110
00:48:57,586 --> 00:49:00,154
we'll get used to it.
1111
00:49:05,290 --> 00:49:06,639
- Thanks.
1112
00:49:21,393 --> 00:49:22,916
Hey, buddy.
1113
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,613
- It's gone viral.
1114
00:49:24,657 --> 00:49:26,006
- What has?
1115
00:49:26,050 --> 00:49:28,269
- We have, us, we're
spreading like herpes.
1116
00:49:28,313 --> 00:49:30,706
Shaft and Balls,
it's everywhere.
1117
00:49:32,926 --> 00:49:35,450
Look, man, I can't do
this with you anymore,
1118
00:49:35,494 --> 00:49:38,105
no more bets with Jane,
you've gotta promise me.
1119
00:49:38,149 --> 00:49:40,455
- Would you relax, I got
the perfect plan for this.
1120
00:49:57,168 --> 00:49:58,996
- Yeah, what do you
think about that?
1121
00:50:00,736 --> 00:50:02,521
- It's not bad.
1122
00:50:02,564 --> 00:50:05,393
- Not bad? It's
excellent, my friend.
1123
00:50:07,439 --> 00:50:09,919
- Step back and give the big
fella a little room to work.
1124
00:50:17,405 --> 00:50:19,407
Let me show you how real
gunslingers do this,
1125
00:50:19,451 --> 00:50:21,931
okay, just pay attention.
1126
00:50:21,975 --> 00:50:24,325
Fire in the hole!
1127
00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:30,766
- You missed.
- What?
1128
00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:32,681
- You missed the target.
1129
00:50:32,725 --> 00:50:35,206
- Oh yeah, that's
a warning shot.
1130
00:50:35,249 --> 00:50:37,556
I'm surprised you
don't know about that.
1131
00:50:37,599 --> 00:50:39,166
You always wanna
fire a warning shot,
1132
00:50:39,210 --> 00:50:41,647
that gives the intruder
the opportunity to rethink
1133
00:50:41,690 --> 00:50:43,518
what they're doing and
nine times out of 10
1134
00:50:43,562 --> 00:50:46,086
they take off and
nobody gets hurt.
1135
00:50:46,130 --> 00:50:47,957
It's a smart business.
1136
00:50:48,001 --> 00:50:49,437
- And you need to
come to the range
1137
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:51,135
to practice your warning shot?
1138
00:50:51,178 --> 00:50:52,571
- You know, practice
makes perfect,
1139
00:50:52,614 --> 00:50:53,833
that's my motto.
1140
00:50:56,749 --> 00:50:57,880
You winged
him, right shoulder.
1141
00:50:57,924 --> 00:50:59,795
Yeah,
stopped his advance.
1142
00:51:01,101 --> 00:51:02,363
- Right wrist.
1143
00:51:02,407 --> 00:51:03,538
- Knocked the gun
clean out of his hand.
1144
00:51:03,582 --> 00:51:04,713
- Hm-mm.
1145
00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:07,151
His eye.
1146
00:51:07,194 --> 00:51:08,108
- What are you, a
fucking eagle eye,
1147
00:51:08,152 --> 00:51:09,675
how can you even see that far?
1148
00:51:09,718 --> 00:51:10,676
- Do you wanna move
the target closer
1149
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,286
so you can see it?
1150
00:51:12,330 --> 00:51:13,940
- No, I don't need to move
the target closer, alright.
1151
00:51:13,983 --> 00:51:17,378
Although I am
near-sighted, but whatever.
1152
00:51:17,422 --> 00:51:19,685
Just sit back, watch,
let me show you
1153
00:51:19,728 --> 00:51:21,556
how you take a guy out.
1154
00:51:29,956 --> 00:51:31,653
Read them and weep.
1155
00:51:43,230 --> 00:51:44,971
- That is awful aim.
1156
00:51:46,277 --> 00:51:49,889
- That, Annie Oakley,
is what we like to call
1157
00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:53,501
textbook distribution shots.
1158
00:51:53,545 --> 00:51:56,461
You see now, your
guy, you killed him.
1159
00:51:56,504 --> 00:51:58,463
Whereas my guy, he'll
probably survive,
1160
00:51:58,506 --> 00:51:59,986
but he's not gonna
be snooping around
1161
00:52:00,029 --> 00:52:01,814
my fucking property anymore,
you know what I'm saying.
1162
00:52:01,857 --> 00:52:03,468
That's a lesson.
1163
00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:05,905
- Yeah, you lost,
you need to pay up.
1164
00:52:05,948 --> 00:52:08,516
- It's just the
thing is, I feel like
1165
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,910
marksmanship is so subjective.
1166
00:52:10,953 --> 00:52:12,825
Maybe, for your
sake, we should find
1167
00:52:12,868 --> 00:52:14,609
some other challenge.
1168
00:52:14,653 --> 00:52:16,829
- Maybe you should be a
man and pay your debt.
1169
00:52:19,179 --> 00:52:20,746
- Are you gonna tell
me why we're here
1170
00:52:20,789 --> 00:52:22,139
or are you gonna
keep me in suspense.
1171
00:52:23,618 --> 00:52:24,967
What, you want me to
just run across the bar
1172
00:52:25,011 --> 00:52:26,926
and take my pants
off, fine, let's just
1173
00:52:26,969 --> 00:52:28,493
get it over with.
1174
00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:34,238
Okay, see that
girl, alone in the corner?
1175
00:52:34,281 --> 00:52:36,283
- Yeah.
1176
00:52:36,327 --> 00:52:38,372
- All I want is for you
to go and talk to her.
1177
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,594
- That's it?
1178
00:52:42,637 --> 00:52:44,944
I like this idea.
1179
00:52:44,987 --> 00:52:47,251
If this idea was a
cause I would donate
1180
00:52:47,294 --> 00:52:49,078
my time and money to it.
1181
00:52:49,122 --> 00:52:51,080
But do you think
maybe we could find
1182
00:52:51,124 --> 00:52:53,648
a little more attractive girl?
1183
00:52:53,692 --> 00:52:56,129
Are we talking about
a threesome or not?
1184
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,697
- I want you to experience
what it is like to
1185
00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:01,700
have an actual
conversation with a woman.
1186
00:53:01,743 --> 00:53:05,573
No cheesy pick-up lines,
no ulterior motives.
1187
00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:07,096
- This is gonna suck.
1188
00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:10,056
- Oh God. You know I'm
hoping there's a decent
1189
00:53:10,099 --> 00:53:13,755
human being somewhere inside
that douchey exterior.
1190
00:53:15,017 --> 00:53:16,410
- This is going to
go horribly wrong,
1191
00:53:16,454 --> 00:53:17,977
I can feel it.
1192
00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:19,544
- I bet you find it rewarding.
1193
00:53:19,587 --> 00:53:21,110
- I bet I won't.
1194
00:53:21,154 --> 00:53:22,677
By the way, I will
be sitting right across
1195
00:53:22,721 --> 00:53:24,897
from you so you can't just
go through the motions.
1196
00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:27,595
You have to stay for
at least one drink.
1197
00:53:27,639 --> 00:53:29,249
- Just a normal conversation.
1198
00:53:29,293 --> 00:53:30,685
- Mm hmm.
1199
00:53:30,729 --> 00:53:32,600
Did I mention you're
a terrible person?
1200
00:53:32,644 --> 00:53:34,515
Go get her.
1201
00:53:41,479 --> 00:53:43,959
- Hi there,
1202
00:53:44,003 --> 00:53:45,918
I was wondering if I could
join you for a drink?
1203
00:53:47,093 --> 00:53:49,530
- Um... I guess.
1204
00:53:55,188 --> 00:53:56,798
- I'm Vince.
1205
00:53:56,842 --> 00:53:58,583
- Hi, Vince. I'm Regina.
1206
00:53:58,626 --> 00:54:00,019
- Nice to meet you.
1207
00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:02,630
Do you come here often?
1208
00:54:02,674 --> 00:54:05,372
- It's my friend's
birthday, she wanted to come
1209
00:54:05,416 --> 00:54:08,549
for a drink, she
just went to pee.
1210
00:54:09,724 --> 00:54:11,160
Oh, there she is.
1211
00:54:17,515 --> 00:54:21,867
- Hi! Well, well, well...
1212
00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:24,348
What do we have here?
1213
00:54:26,654 --> 00:54:27,612
- Hi, there.
1214
00:54:30,005 --> 00:54:32,486
- Wow.
1215
00:54:32,530 --> 00:54:34,575
- I'm Vince, I was just
joining your friend for a drink
1216
00:54:34,619 --> 00:54:37,143
but I see you're home
so I'll let you guys
1217
00:54:37,186 --> 00:54:38,536
finish your night.
1218
00:54:43,367 --> 00:54:44,411
Hi?
1219
00:54:44,455 --> 00:54:45,630
-Hi.
1220
00:54:47,196 --> 00:54:49,329
- What's your name?
1221
00:54:49,373 --> 00:54:53,594
- Well, you can call me
Stella, because that's my name.
1222
00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:59,513
Now, listen, it's my birthday,
1223
00:54:59,557 --> 00:55:00,906
guess how old I am.
1224
00:55:00,949 --> 00:55:02,299
- I really don't think --
- Come on!
1225
00:55:02,342 --> 00:55:03,343
Guess!
1226
00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:05,867
- Hm... 42.
1227
00:55:05,911 --> 00:55:08,827
You wish!
1228
00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:11,525
I'm only 30.
1229
00:55:11,569 --> 00:55:13,222
- Happy Birthday!
1230
00:55:13,266 --> 00:55:14,833
- You're damn right it is.
1231
00:55:16,487 --> 00:55:17,009
Oh boy.
1232
00:55:17,052 --> 00:55:18,358
- What?
1233
00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:22,754
- Oh, oh man, this
is my favorite part.
1234
00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:26,627
The X is kicking in.
1235
00:55:26,671 --> 00:55:31,632
I can literally have sex
with a lamppost right now.
1236
00:55:31,676 --> 00:55:33,895
I am not kidding.
1237
00:55:35,767 --> 00:55:38,813
I was thinking I could
make a big, hot pile
1238
00:55:38,857 --> 00:55:42,469
of sex right here.
1239
00:55:42,513 --> 00:55:45,516
And right here and one
more time in the morning.
1240
00:55:47,039 --> 00:55:49,607
- Oh look at that.
- You got something for me?
1241
00:55:52,436 --> 00:55:55,787
- Just reading a text,
it's probably just Nana.
1242
00:55:57,658 --> 00:55:59,921
That's satisfying, thank God!
1243
00:55:59,965 --> 00:56:04,491
Okay, ladies, I'm just
gonna finish my drink
1244
00:56:04,535 --> 00:56:06,580
and get out of here.
1245
00:56:09,017 --> 00:56:10,976
- There you are, oh, honey,
1246
00:56:11,019 --> 00:56:13,500
I'm so sorry about
what I said earlier,
1247
00:56:13,544 --> 00:56:17,069
let's just get home,
the kids want you home.
1248
00:56:17,112 --> 00:56:19,593
I'm sorry, we had a big
fight, I'm impossible.
1249
00:56:22,466 --> 00:56:23,510
- Okay, have a good one.
1250
00:56:24,990 --> 00:56:26,513
What the fuck?
1251
00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:28,080
- You've done everything
that I've asked, come on.
1252
00:56:29,473 --> 00:56:32,476
- You said, "one drink,"
I served my punishment,
1253
00:56:32,519 --> 00:56:34,739
now we're even.
1254
00:56:34,782 --> 00:56:36,131
- You drink up.
1255
00:56:40,092 --> 00:56:41,441
- How stupid do you think I am?
1256
00:56:46,707 --> 00:56:47,795
- I'm gonna wet my pants.
1257
00:56:49,057 --> 00:56:51,233
- I am so sorry, I
tried to tell you.
1258
00:56:51,277 --> 00:56:55,455
- Driver. Oh my God, this
is the smoothest thing
1259
00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:57,588
I've ever felt.
1260
00:57:01,983 --> 00:57:05,117
It's like tiny little
strands of silk.
1261
00:57:07,032 --> 00:57:09,208
Is that Pantene?
1262
00:57:09,251 --> 00:57:10,688
- No, don't put
it in your mouth.
1263
00:57:10,731 --> 00:57:15,170
Oh God, how about some coffee?
1264
00:57:15,214 --> 00:57:17,521
- Oh God, coffee is beautiful.
1265
00:57:17,564 --> 00:57:19,871
People don't say that
enough, after all
1266
00:57:19,914 --> 00:57:21,655
that it's done for us.
1267
00:57:24,919 --> 00:57:29,489
What is eternity but the
continuous state of now?
1268
00:57:30,795 --> 00:57:32,623
God, how long
does this stuff last?
1269
00:57:34,538 --> 00:57:36,017
- For eternity.
1270
00:57:41,414 --> 00:57:43,460
Did you love him?
1271
00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:44,591
Your ex-husband.
1272
00:57:46,811 --> 00:57:48,073
- Yeah, I did.
1273
00:57:49,901 --> 00:57:53,470
- Huh, he's a lucky guy.
1274
00:57:55,254 --> 00:57:56,603
- Thank you.
1275
00:58:01,390 --> 00:58:03,175
- It must've really hurt.
1276
00:58:05,220 --> 00:58:09,660
- I got nothing, actually
less than nothing.
1277
00:58:09,703 --> 00:58:13,272
He got the house and
lost all the money I had
1278
00:58:13,315 --> 00:58:15,448
in a bad investment.
1279
00:58:17,189 --> 00:58:20,148
That's what you get for
hiring a good attorney, right?
1280
00:58:20,192 --> 00:58:21,541
No offense.
1281
00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:24,501
- None taken.
1282
00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:26,590
- Looking back it
doesn't surprise me.
1283
00:58:26,633 --> 00:58:30,898
I guess I was just
blinded by his charm.
1284
00:58:34,815 --> 00:58:36,077
- What's he do for a living?
1285
00:58:38,079 --> 00:58:42,867
- Lies, cheats, avoids
taxes, it doesn't matter.
1286
00:58:47,045 --> 00:58:48,612
- Did you know
that crying is just
1287
00:58:48,655 --> 00:58:50,439
laughing when you're sad?
1288
00:58:50,483 --> 00:58:54,879
No, I
didn't know that.
1289
00:58:54,922 --> 00:58:58,796
Well,
if you have a pen,
1290
00:58:58,839 --> 00:59:01,189
I'll write
that down for you.
1291
00:59:03,888 --> 00:59:06,586
- I really like you better
when you're on drugs.
1292
00:59:08,501 --> 00:59:13,201
If that was me, I
wouldn't have cheated on you.
1293
00:59:30,044 --> 00:59:35,180
Our mouths
just made sweet love.
1294
00:59:54,895 --> 00:59:55,940
Wakey wakey.
1295
00:59:57,376 --> 01:00:01,293
Hi, I thought this could help.
1296
01:00:01,336 --> 01:00:06,080
- Hi. Thank you.
1297
01:00:07,516 --> 01:00:09,649
- I hope you're okay.
1298
01:00:11,172 --> 01:00:15,829
- Yeah, that was...
1299
01:00:15,873 --> 01:00:18,005
kind of crazy, huh?
1300
01:00:18,049 --> 01:00:22,357
- Yeah, it was an
experience, that's for sure.
1301
01:00:22,401 --> 01:00:25,926
- You were amazing, obviously.
1302
01:00:27,101 --> 01:00:29,234
- You don't remember
a thing, do you?
1303
01:00:29,277 --> 01:00:31,149
- I'm a little fuzzy.
1304
01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:34,979
I think it's maybe the
highlights that I'm missing.
1305
01:00:35,022 --> 01:00:37,242
- You don't remember the bar?
1306
01:00:37,285 --> 01:00:38,983
- Yeah, I remember the bar.
1307
01:00:40,158 --> 01:00:42,551
There was a birthday
girl, right?
1308
01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:44,597
- Good!
1309
01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:46,294
- I remember pounding
my drink and then
1310
01:00:46,338 --> 01:00:49,689
after that it's just a blur.
1311
01:00:49,733 --> 01:00:51,212
- Yeah, you got dosed.
1312
01:00:52,692 --> 01:00:54,476
- I got roofied?!
1313
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,523
- Not really.
1314
01:00:57,566 --> 01:00:59,830
Apparently it was some
pretty good Ecstasy though.
1315
01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:08,316
- Did, did we...?
1316
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,536
No, I
slept on the couch.
1317
01:01:10,579 --> 01:01:12,277
- Lame.
1318
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:13,800
- You were a perfect gentleman.
1319
01:01:13,844 --> 01:01:15,846
- Disgusting.
1320
01:01:15,889 --> 01:01:17,630
- You've been a good sport,
1321
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:19,240
you've made good
on all your bets,
1322
01:01:19,284 --> 01:01:21,678
and you said some very
nice things last night.
1323
01:01:21,721 --> 01:01:25,943
- Yeah, I wouldn't know
anything about that.
1324
01:01:25,986 --> 01:01:29,424
- Oh my God, why are
you so afraid to admit
1325
01:01:29,468 --> 01:01:32,601
that you have actual feelings?
1326
01:01:32,645 --> 01:01:34,821
It's good news.
1327
01:01:34,865 --> 01:01:37,041
It's what separates
you from, I dunno,
1328
01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:38,346
a baboon.
1329
01:01:39,434 --> 01:01:41,741
- Thank you.
1330
01:01:41,785 --> 01:01:43,874
Wait a minute, I won a bet.
1331
01:01:43,917 --> 01:01:45,223
- What?
1332
01:01:45,266 --> 01:01:46,920
- I remember winning
a bet last night.
1333
01:01:46,964 --> 01:01:48,705
- No, I don't think so.
1334
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,707
- No, hold on a second;
I distinctly remember
1335
01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:54,188
you saying, "go talk
to that girl," and
1336
01:01:54,232 --> 01:01:55,755
quote, "I bet
you'll find it to be
1337
01:01:55,799 --> 01:01:58,366
"a rewarding experience."
1338
01:01:58,410 --> 01:02:00,934
I did not find it to be
a rewarding experience,
1339
01:02:00,978 --> 01:02:02,457
I got drugged.
1340
01:02:02,501 --> 01:02:04,024
- That was hardly a bet.
1341
01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:05,112
- It was a bet.
1342
01:02:05,156 --> 01:02:06,723
You lost, I won.
1343
01:02:06,766 --> 01:02:08,812
You are not welching on this.
1344
01:02:08,855 --> 01:02:11,292
Hold please, while I...
1345
01:02:12,598 --> 01:02:15,775
Yeah, it's a victory dance.
1346
01:02:15,819 --> 01:02:17,211
-Really?
1347
01:02:17,255 --> 01:02:19,518
- Yeah that's a victory
dance, a slow one
1348
01:02:19,561 --> 01:02:21,172
because I might throw up.
1349
01:02:21,215 --> 01:02:23,740
Wait, oh that's good there.
1350
01:02:23,783 --> 01:02:25,002
Can you feel it?
1351
01:02:25,045 --> 01:02:27,308
- Are you enjoying that?
1352
01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:28,919
Alright.
1353
01:02:30,616 --> 01:02:32,661
Let's just get this over with.
1354
01:02:32,705 --> 01:02:34,794
- Excuse me, what are you doing?
1355
01:02:34,838 --> 01:02:36,187
- Come on, quit gloating,
1356
01:02:36,230 --> 01:02:37,710
here I'll help you out.
1357
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:40,191
- What kind of a guy
do you think I am?
1358
01:02:40,234 --> 01:02:43,107
What makes you think
that I want sex?
1359
01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:44,848
I mean, really.
1360
01:02:44,891 --> 01:02:47,024
- Okay, humor me.
1361
01:02:50,418 --> 01:02:51,985
- I wanna go on a date.
1362
01:02:56,076 --> 01:02:57,948
- Are you fucking with me?
1363
01:02:57,991 --> 01:02:59,906
- No, I won.
1364
01:02:59,950 --> 01:03:01,647
I wanna go on a
date, just you and I,
1365
01:03:01,690 --> 01:03:05,477
no more bets, I'll
even cook dinner.
1366
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,826
You got a problem with that?
1367
01:03:06,870 --> 01:03:09,350
- No.
1368
01:03:09,394 --> 01:03:12,832
- Great, stilettos and a
thong would be appreciated
1369
01:03:12,876 --> 01:03:14,486
but not really required.
1370
01:03:14,529 --> 01:03:15,835
- Feel better.
1371
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,141
- All I'm doing there
is giving some ideas
1372
01:03:17,184 --> 01:03:19,186
trying to help you out,
plan your wardrobe.
1373
01:03:19,230 --> 01:03:20,405
And a handjob
would be fine, too.
1374
01:03:24,670 --> 01:03:26,628
That's pretty much my
whole problem, right there,
1375
01:03:26,672 --> 01:03:28,674
in a nutshell.
1376
01:03:28,717 --> 01:03:31,155
Yeah I can see why
that would be troubling.
1377
01:03:31,198 --> 01:03:33,722
Yeah, sorry,
this whole dating thing
1378
01:03:33,766 --> 01:03:34,854
is just new to me.
1379
01:03:34,898 --> 01:03:36,769
- No, no, no, that's okay.
1380
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,772
We'll figure this out.
1381
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:42,906
Okay, so what if
instead of Travolta
1382
01:03:42,949 --> 01:03:44,733
it was someone
like Justin Bieber.
1383
01:03:44,777 --> 01:03:46,779
- Ooh.
1384
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,303
- At least you have a
feminine quality, right?
1385
01:03:49,347 --> 01:03:51,740
And I really think
he's someone that would
1386
01:03:51,784 --> 01:03:53,655
care enough to not make it
completely uncomfortable.
1387
01:03:55,832 --> 01:03:58,704
- Nah, unfortunately
Travolta's gotta be involved
1388
01:03:58,747 --> 01:04:00,488
either way.
1389
01:04:00,532 --> 01:04:02,708
But I like where
you're going with this
1390
01:04:02,751 --> 01:04:04,971
and I'm definitely gonna
bring it up to the guys.
1391
01:04:05,015 --> 01:04:07,756
- Okay, but don't wait too
long because I'm afraid
1392
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:10,020
the opportunity might
present itself and then,
1393
01:04:10,063 --> 01:04:12,413
you know you've waited
too long to say anything.
1394
01:04:12,457 --> 01:04:14,502
- Agreed, better to be prepared.
1395
01:04:20,769 --> 01:04:23,337
- So what's the
longest relationship
1396
01:04:23,381 --> 01:04:24,556
you've ever been in?
1397
01:04:24,599 --> 01:04:26,558
- Ah, let's see.
1398
01:04:26,601 --> 01:04:28,038
15 years.
1399
01:04:28,081 --> 01:04:29,909
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1400
01:04:29,953 --> 01:04:31,345
- Why did you guys break up?
1401
01:04:31,389 --> 01:04:32,346
- We didn't.
1402
01:04:33,739 --> 01:04:34,696
It's Kenny.
1403
01:04:35,872 --> 01:04:38,004
- Oh, I should've known.
1404
01:04:38,048 --> 01:04:39,440
- Yeah, yeah.
1405
01:04:41,094 --> 01:04:43,401
- So no serious girlfriends?
1406
01:04:43,444 --> 01:04:48,232
- No, I guess I'm just,
well, afraid of commitment.
1407
01:04:49,711 --> 01:04:51,975
There, I said it out-loud.
1408
01:04:52,018 --> 01:04:54,499
Afraid to get hurt.
1409
01:04:54,542 --> 01:04:57,328
- That's not an
easy thing to admit.
1410
01:04:57,371 --> 01:05:00,766
- Yeah, but this
whole playboy facade
1411
01:05:00,809 --> 01:05:02,637
is kinda getting old.
1412
01:05:04,813 --> 01:05:06,815
It's actually really lonely.
1413
01:05:08,208 --> 01:05:09,862
- That is so refreshing.
1414
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:12,430
- I am fucking with you.
1415
01:05:12,473 --> 01:05:14,519
I've had a couple of
girlfriends but nobody
1416
01:05:14,562 --> 01:05:16,608
really worth the long haul.
1417
01:05:16,651 --> 01:05:19,176
- Maybe I need to slip
you some more drugs.
1418
01:05:19,219 --> 01:05:21,961
- It's crazy that
it takes heavy duty,
1419
01:05:22,005 --> 01:05:25,356
psychotropic drugs to get
me to reveal the truth.
1420
01:05:25,399 --> 01:05:27,619
- You remember everything you
said last night, don't you?
1421
01:05:27,662 --> 01:05:29,055
- I do.
1422
01:05:33,886 --> 01:05:36,106
Do you wanna make out?
1423
01:05:36,149 --> 01:05:37,585
- God, you're romantic.
1424
01:05:50,294 --> 01:05:51,773
Get ready
for Captain Feelgood
1425
01:05:51,817 --> 01:05:53,558
because he is
reporting for duty.
1426
01:05:53,601 --> 01:05:55,342
- Oh my God, listen to this,
1427
01:05:55,386 --> 01:05:56,822
I gotta tell you that nicknames,
1428
01:05:56,865 --> 01:05:59,912
they really turn me off,
it reminds me of my ex.
1429
01:05:59,956 --> 01:06:01,653
- Yeah.
1430
01:06:03,394 --> 01:06:06,440
I'm glad we're being honest
with each other
1431
01:06:06,484 --> 01:06:10,053
because I gotta tell you
talking about your ex,
1432
01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:11,793
that's actually
what turns me off.
1433
01:06:11,837 --> 01:06:13,186
Okay so I'll leave
the Pickle Prince out of it.
1434
01:06:15,058 --> 01:06:17,277
- Oh that's bad.
1435
01:06:19,410 --> 01:06:22,239
- Is that so bad?
1436
01:06:22,282 --> 01:06:24,241
- No, no, it's not
that, it's just that
1437
01:06:25,459 --> 01:06:27,809
I'm feeling kind of nauseous,
1438
01:06:27,853 --> 01:06:30,421
I think maybe it's the Ecstasy.
1439
01:06:30,464 --> 01:06:32,031
- What?
1440
01:06:32,075 --> 01:06:35,382
Yeah, yeah, it's
coming on me like a wave.
1441
01:06:39,038 --> 01:06:43,434
Do you mind if we do
this another time?
1442
01:06:43,477 --> 01:06:46,002
- No, of course not.
1443
01:06:46,045 --> 01:06:48,743
Yeah I want it
to be perfect for you,
1444
01:06:48,787 --> 01:06:50,615
just not tonight.
1445
01:06:50,658 --> 01:06:53,052
- Yeah, it's getting
kind of late anyway.
1446
01:06:53,096 --> 01:06:56,360
- Yeah, yeah, it's super late.
1447
01:06:59,798 --> 01:07:03,715
Oh yeah, it was good, sorry.
1448
01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:05,108
It's alright.
1449
01:07:09,634 --> 01:07:11,375
Feel better.
1450
01:07:11,418 --> 01:07:14,160
- You look so pretty,
I'll call you tomorrow.
1451
01:07:16,510 --> 01:07:19,165
The Pickle Prince, really?
1452
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:21,472
Fuck.
1453
01:07:21,515 --> 01:07:23,474
- Hang on, you had
the chance to --
1454
01:07:23,517 --> 01:07:24,779
-Yeah.
1455
01:07:24,823 --> 01:07:26,216
- And instead you
just asked her out.
1456
01:07:26,259 --> 01:07:27,956
- I did.
1457
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,523
- And when do you turn
your decision making
1458
01:07:29,567 --> 01:07:30,437
over to your vagina?
1459
01:07:31,525 --> 01:07:33,353
- Hey Vince, did you lose these?
1460
01:07:34,702 --> 01:07:37,183
- You should join my
mom's scrap-booking club,
1461
01:07:37,227 --> 01:07:39,925
there's ladies in it.
1462
01:07:39,968 --> 01:07:41,666
- The craziest thing
happens now when she talks,
1463
01:07:41,709 --> 01:07:43,363
I can't believe it.
1464
01:07:43,407 --> 01:07:45,757
- Oh you actually want to
hear what she has to say?
1465
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,412
- Well, no, but I don't
wanna jam an icepick
1466
01:07:48,455 --> 01:07:50,457
into my ear and that's huge.
1467
01:07:50,501 --> 01:07:52,068
- Sounds like love.
1468
01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:53,895
- Got it!
1469
01:07:53,939 --> 01:07:57,421
What if it's Justin
Bieber's face
1470
01:07:57,464 --> 01:07:59,553
on John Travolta's body?
1471
01:07:59,597 --> 01:08:02,121
- Interesting, so
it's like Face-Off,
1472
01:08:02,165 --> 01:08:03,992
but with Bieb's face
instead of Travolta's?
1473
01:08:04,036 --> 01:08:05,385
- Exactly.
1474
01:08:05,429 --> 01:08:07,170
- So it's not really
the man's hairy ass
1475
01:08:07,213 --> 01:08:08,301
that gives you the problem,
1476
01:08:08,345 --> 01:08:10,347
it's the owner of the ass.
1477
01:08:10,390 --> 01:08:12,392
- It's really about
having to stare
1478
01:08:12,436 --> 01:08:14,090
into a certain set of eyes.
1479
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:15,613
- Now that's a valid point.
1480
01:08:15,656 --> 01:08:17,136
I feel like if you stare
into Travolta's eyes
1481
01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:18,311
for too long it
might send you down
1482
01:08:18,355 --> 01:08:20,139
some weird rabbit hole.
1483
01:08:20,183 --> 01:08:22,794
I dunno if I'd really
ever come back from that.
1484
01:08:22,837 --> 01:08:24,970
- But Bieber's okay?
1485
01:08:25,013 --> 01:08:26,493
- Well at least with
Biebs I feel like he would
1486
01:08:26,537 --> 01:08:29,192
sense your vulnerability,
try to make you comfortable.
1487
01:08:29,235 --> 01:08:31,455
I'm gonna allow it. Judges?
1488
01:08:31,498 --> 01:08:33,152
- I say no, I mean
once we start changing
1489
01:08:33,196 --> 01:08:35,502
all the rules then it
gets really complicated.
1490
01:08:35,546 --> 01:08:37,591
- First thing it's Justin
Bieber and the next
1491
01:08:37,635 --> 01:08:40,464
thing you know,
Robert Pattinson.
1492
01:08:40,507 --> 01:08:42,727
- Ooh, Robert Pattinson,
now you're talking.
1493
01:08:42,770 --> 01:08:44,163
I mean he seems like
the kind of guy who'd
1494
01:08:44,207 --> 01:08:46,165
stick around after, cuddle.
1495
01:08:46,209 --> 01:08:49,125
- No, no, no, it stays Travolta.
1496
01:08:49,168 --> 01:08:50,865
- That's a game-changer
though without Travolta.
1497
01:08:50,909 --> 01:08:52,911
- It's over, right?
1498
01:08:52,954 --> 01:08:54,826
- This is impossible.
1499
01:08:54,869 --> 01:08:56,828
- What is it with
you and hot dudes?
1500
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:00,397
- What's up with you, man?
1501
01:09:00,440 --> 01:09:03,704
- Nothing, it's just one
minor little obstacle.
1502
01:09:05,402 --> 01:09:06,925
- There's no such
thing as that with you.
1503
01:09:08,405 --> 01:09:12,713
I maybe discovered
that I'm representing
1504
01:09:12,757 --> 01:09:14,237
Jane's ex in the divorce case.
1505
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,413
- What do you mean?
1506
01:09:16,456 --> 01:09:18,066
- The Pickle Prince
of Providence.
1507
01:09:18,110 --> 01:09:19,807
- That's her ex?!
1508
01:09:19,851 --> 01:09:22,027
That is so awesome!
1509
01:09:23,507 --> 01:09:25,073
You're fucked, but
that is so cool,
1510
01:09:25,117 --> 01:09:26,640
is he as cool as he
seems on the jar?
1511
01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:28,076
- That's all you got for me?
1512
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:29,817
You're a well-respected
couples' therapist
1513
01:09:29,861 --> 01:09:31,471
and all you've got for
me is, "you're fucked"?
1514
01:09:32,646 --> 01:09:34,213
Yeah, he's pretty awesome.
1515
01:09:34,257 --> 01:09:35,867
But that's before I found
out that he screwed Jane over
1516
01:09:35,910 --> 01:09:38,957
in the divorce, so what
am I supposed to do?
1517
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,437
- Well if you want my
professional opinion,
1518
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,134
and this is for free,
1519
01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:44,919
you gotta drop the case, Vince.
1520
01:09:44,963 --> 01:09:46,356
- I feel like she'll understand.
1521
01:09:46,399 --> 01:09:48,923
It's business.
1522
01:09:48,967 --> 01:09:50,360
- You're fucked.
1523
01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:52,971
- I think it'll be
alright, trust me.
1524
01:09:53,014 --> 01:09:54,755
This is a pretty spot.
1525
01:09:54,799 --> 01:09:57,889
Yeah, you mind if
we hang out here for a minute?
1526
01:09:57,932 --> 01:10:00,239
- Okay, so was there
something you wanted
1527
01:10:00,283 --> 01:10:01,936
to talk about?
1528
01:10:03,068 --> 01:10:05,070
- Right.
1529
01:10:05,113 --> 01:10:07,246
It's more of a confession
really, but before I do
1530
01:10:07,290 --> 01:10:09,683
I just wanted to
tell you that I feel
1531
01:10:09,727 --> 01:10:12,556
like we're in a really
good place right now.
1532
01:10:12,599 --> 01:10:14,166
In fact, I was just
telling the fellas
1533
01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:16,168
that the sound of
your voice does not
1534
01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:18,126
make me cringe,
like even a little.
1535
01:10:18,170 --> 01:10:22,130
That's so sweet,
it's like Jane Austen
1536
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:23,697
just speaks from you.
1537
01:10:26,396 --> 01:10:27,919
And?
1538
01:10:27,962 --> 01:10:30,574
- Oh, right, you know
that big divorce case
1539
01:10:30,617 --> 01:10:31,618
I've been working on?
1540
01:10:31,662 --> 01:10:32,924
- Yeah.
1541
01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:34,926
- My client, and
it's not a big deal,
1542
01:10:37,407 --> 01:10:39,278
but it's the Pickle Prince.
1543
01:10:39,322 --> 01:10:42,325
- Are you kidding me?!
1544
01:10:42,368 --> 01:10:46,242
- I wish I was,
small world I guess.
1545
01:10:46,285 --> 01:10:48,592
- Yeah, that's...
1546
01:10:51,508 --> 01:10:53,727
Well thank you for telling me.
1547
01:10:53,771 --> 01:10:55,642
I didn't
know, I promise.
1548
01:10:55,686 --> 01:10:56,991
I just put two and two together,
1549
01:10:57,035 --> 01:10:59,255
actually it was during our date
1550
01:10:59,298 --> 01:11:04,042
and that's why we
didn't... sorry.
1551
01:11:04,085 --> 01:11:07,132
- No, don't apologize,
you didn't know.
1552
01:11:08,699 --> 01:11:11,571
I respect you for not taking
advantage of the situation.
1553
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,008
It must have been difficult.
1554
01:11:14,052 --> 01:11:16,315
- Yeah, it was awful.
1555
01:11:16,359 --> 01:11:18,317
I had to jerk off four
times after you left.
1556
01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:20,406
Maybe five, I can't
remember, I lost track.
1557
01:11:22,887 --> 01:11:24,410
- Well I guess he's just
gonna have to find someone
1558
01:11:24,454 --> 01:11:27,239
else willing to
destroy his wife.
1559
01:11:29,850 --> 01:11:31,504
- Wait, Jane,
1560
01:11:33,071 --> 01:11:35,682
I can't drop the case,
1561
01:11:35,726 --> 01:11:37,554
he's the firm's biggest client,
1562
01:11:37,597 --> 01:11:39,599
if I make him happy
then I make partner,
1563
01:11:39,643 --> 01:11:42,123
I hope you can understand that.
1564
01:11:43,777 --> 01:11:47,433
- Can I understand how
you're going to represent
1565
01:11:47,477 --> 01:11:50,828
the one person who
tried to ruin my life?
1566
01:11:50,871 --> 01:11:53,831
How you're gonna let
him ruin someone else's?
1567
01:11:53,874 --> 01:11:55,789
Help him ruin someone else's?
1568
01:11:55,833 --> 01:11:58,662
No, Vince, I can't
understand that.
1569
01:12:03,231 --> 01:12:04,276
I'm gonna go.
1570
01:12:05,712 --> 01:12:09,803
- What am I supposed to do?
1571
01:12:09,847 --> 01:12:11,979
- You know, the fact that
you have to ask me that
1572
01:12:12,023 --> 01:12:14,634
tells me all I need to know.
1573
01:12:14,678 --> 01:12:16,419
Good luck, Vince,
I hope you win.
1574
01:12:22,425 --> 01:12:26,342
Great.
1575
01:12:27,473 --> 01:12:29,475
- What about the
house in the Hamptons?
1576
01:12:29,519 --> 01:12:31,259
- I'd be happy with
four weeks a year.
1577
01:12:31,303 --> 01:12:33,784
- Well, I'd be willing to
give you zero weeks a year.
1578
01:12:33,827 --> 01:12:35,394
- You know, I changed my mind,
1579
01:12:35,438 --> 01:12:36,700
I want 19.
1580
01:12:36,743 --> 01:12:38,441
- She is not setting
foot in that house.
1581
01:12:38,484 --> 01:12:40,312
I built that damn thing
with my bare hands.
1582
01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:43,663
- In 1977 you were
five years old.
1583
01:12:43,707 --> 01:12:45,796
- Do you think I give
a shit about math?!
1584
01:12:45,839 --> 01:12:46,797
- You're a loser!
1585
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:47,928
- You're a whore!
1586
01:12:47,972 --> 01:12:49,234
- Needle dick!
1587
01:12:49,277 --> 01:12:50,409
- That is slander.
1588
01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:51,584
- Slander is lying.
1589
01:12:51,628 --> 01:12:52,890
- You wanna see this thing?
1590
01:12:56,937 --> 01:12:58,591
I want it noted that
I offered to measure,
1591
01:12:58,635 --> 01:13:00,288
I offered to measure.
1592
01:13:00,332 --> 01:13:02,073
Cock measure!
1593
01:13:02,116 --> 01:13:05,076
- Everybody just relax, okay?
1594
01:13:05,119 --> 01:13:08,471
We're willing to let the
judge decide who gets what.
1595
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:09,863
It's up to you.
1596
01:13:09,907 --> 01:13:12,083
- No, no, they had their
chance, we're done here.
1597
01:13:15,608 --> 01:13:17,871
- Hang on,
1598
01:13:17,915 --> 01:13:19,569
they're not being unreasonable.
1599
01:13:19,612 --> 01:13:21,266
- I'm not paying you
to be reasonable,
1600
01:13:21,309 --> 01:13:24,400
I'm paying you to get your
fucking ass in the game!
1601
01:13:33,191 --> 01:13:34,671
- Any messages?
1602
01:13:36,368 --> 01:13:38,718
- Nothing.
1603
01:13:38,762 --> 01:13:40,764
- Thanks, you got a little...
1604
01:13:44,768 --> 01:13:45,943
- Did I get it?
1605
01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:47,118
Yeah, you got it.
1606
01:13:51,731 --> 01:13:54,517
♪ Why's
it gotta be so hard
1607
01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:57,215
♪ Why's it gotta be this way
1608
01:13:57,258 --> 01:14:00,392
♪ It's like I'm being torn apart
1609
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:03,700
♪ All this beautiful pain
1610
01:14:03,743 --> 01:14:06,877
♪ I know you wanna be with me
1611
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:10,446
♪ But you gotta go to him
1612
01:14:10,489 --> 01:14:13,449
♪ Freedom isn't really free
1613
01:14:13,492 --> 01:14:16,408
♪ You sink before
you learn to swim
1614
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,498
♪ Because baby we
don't have much time
1615
01:14:19,542 --> 01:14:22,196
♪ Before we go stumbling home
- Pervert!
1616
01:14:23,633 --> 01:14:25,417
- It's a memory trigger, it's...
1617
01:14:26,897 --> 01:14:29,595
God that thing's huge.
1618
01:14:29,639 --> 01:14:31,902
♪ How can
something be that bad
1619
01:14:31,945 --> 01:14:34,774
♪ When it feels this good
1620
01:14:36,820 --> 01:14:40,867
♪ And I shudder in my sleep
1621
01:14:42,434 --> 01:14:46,656
♪ I can hardly close my eyes
1622
01:14:48,571 --> 01:14:53,314
♪ Then I wake up in a dream
1623
01:14:54,925 --> 01:15:00,191
♪ Free now from a
life of compromise
1624
01:15:00,234 --> 01:15:03,542
♪ Oh you never lost
but you never won,
1625
01:15:03,586 --> 01:15:06,719
♪ Cause you never fought
and you never moved on
1626
01:15:06,763 --> 01:15:09,983
♪ You never lost
but you never won,
1627
01:15:10,027 --> 01:15:14,031
♪ Cause you never fought
and you never moved on
1628
01:15:14,074 --> 01:15:17,904
♪ Don't be afraid
of looking back ♪
1629
01:15:19,427 --> 01:15:22,256
- I don't understand.
1630
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:24,737
Okay, it doesn't
have to be Travolta,
1631
01:15:24,781 --> 01:15:26,565
it can also be
Justin Bieber's face.
1632
01:15:26,609 --> 01:15:29,568
- Ew, I don't get it.
1633
01:15:31,396 --> 01:15:34,138
- You've got to tell
her how you feel.
1634
01:15:34,181 --> 01:15:35,661
- She won't even take my calls.
1635
01:15:35,705 --> 01:15:37,663
- Fuck the phone, girls
like to be swept away.
1636
01:15:37,707 --> 01:15:39,447
- Will somebody
tell this poor boy
1637
01:15:39,491 --> 01:15:40,927
what a real woman wants!
1638
01:15:40,971 --> 01:15:43,103
- I like a simple
gesture, like roses.
1639
01:15:43,147 --> 01:15:45,062
- I like a man to work for it,
1640
01:15:45,105 --> 01:15:46,324
I also like cash.
1641
01:15:46,367 --> 01:15:49,414
- A woman doesn't
want no phone calls.
1642
01:15:49,457 --> 01:15:52,591
- Dammit, you're so
sassy and so right.
1643
01:15:54,071 --> 01:15:55,638
Alright fellas, what
do I need to do?
1644
01:15:55,681 --> 01:15:59,424
- Vince, sweetheart,
you've got to go after her.
1645
01:16:10,217 --> 01:16:11,828
- Shush, here she
comes, here she comes.
1646
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:17,485
- What the hell are you doing?
1647
01:16:17,529 --> 01:16:18,574
- Wait.
1648
01:16:22,534 --> 01:16:24,275
Wait, wait wait.
1649
01:16:25,624 --> 01:16:31,108
Fuck, I had In
Your Eyes queued up
1650
01:16:31,151 --> 01:16:34,241
but the battery died.
1651
01:16:34,285 --> 01:16:36,156
- Stay there, I'll
be right down.
1652
01:16:36,200 --> 01:16:37,549
I'll be here.
1653
01:16:38,811 --> 01:16:41,205
- It's working, it's working!
1654
01:16:41,248 --> 01:16:43,076
Who told him to make
that noise, it was good.
1655
01:16:43,120 --> 01:16:44,556
- You should have
ordered flowers,
1656
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,210
why didn't we bring her flowers?
1657
01:16:46,253 --> 01:16:47,733
- And he's dressed like a hobo.
1658
01:16:47,777 --> 01:16:49,648
- Oh straight boys
don't know how to dress.
1659
01:16:49,692 --> 01:16:51,041
- I think he looks
good, I'd fuck him.
1660
01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:52,477
- Oh you'd fuck anybody.
1661
01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:54,566
True.
1662
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,568
- You would probably
would fuck anybody.
1663
01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:58,091
- Candy, why didn't
we get candy?
1664
01:16:58,135 --> 01:16:59,136
- I'm gonna...
1665
01:17:00,746 --> 01:17:02,139
You might wanna hide now.
1666
01:17:07,405 --> 01:17:08,580
- Get over here.
1667
01:17:11,017 --> 01:17:12,932
What are you doing here?
1668
01:17:12,976 --> 01:17:15,718
- I've been trying to get
a hold of you for weeks.
1669
01:17:15,761 --> 01:17:17,458
Is this how you treat men?
1670
01:17:17,502 --> 01:17:19,809
Just use them up and dump
them in the rubbish bin?
1671
01:17:19,852 --> 01:17:21,201
- You need to leave.
1672
01:17:21,245 --> 01:17:24,030
- No, I demand an explanation.
1673
01:17:24,074 --> 01:17:25,641
You've no right to be mad at me,
1674
01:17:25,684 --> 01:17:27,033
this whole thing is
out of my control,
1675
01:17:27,077 --> 01:17:28,513
you know that.
1676
01:17:28,556 --> 01:17:30,558
- I don't have the
right to be mad at you,
1677
01:17:30,602 --> 01:17:32,909
but I do have the right
to be pissed at myself
1678
01:17:32,952 --> 01:17:34,084
for actually thinking
that there was
1679
01:17:34,127 --> 01:17:35,346
something more to you.
1680
01:17:35,389 --> 01:17:37,348
- What?! There is.
1681
01:17:37,391 --> 01:17:38,784
You mean something to me,
1682
01:17:38,828 --> 01:17:39,959
just ask the gays.
1683
01:17:40,003 --> 01:17:41,221
- Who are the gays?
1684
01:17:41,265 --> 01:17:43,006
- The gays, Big
Bird and the guys.
1685
01:17:43,049 --> 01:17:44,790
- What?!
1686
01:17:44,834 --> 01:17:45,878
- Right, never mind.
1687
01:17:47,924 --> 01:17:49,621
Just give me one
more chance, alright?
1688
01:17:51,275 --> 01:17:54,104
Make a bet, alright.
1689
01:17:54,147 --> 01:17:57,020
I lose, you never
have to see me again.
1690
01:17:57,063 --> 01:18:00,153
You choose, bowling,
darts, whatever.
1691
01:18:00,197 --> 01:18:03,026
- Here's a bet, I bet
that you couldn't do
1692
01:18:03,069 --> 01:18:06,159
the right thing if your
life depended on it.
1693
01:18:06,203 --> 01:18:08,727
Just go, Vince,
go win your case.
1694
01:18:18,345 --> 01:18:20,173
So I bought
her three shots,
1695
01:18:20,217 --> 01:18:23,046
took her home and banged
her, and never called her.
1696
01:18:24,830 --> 01:18:27,398
Wait, that guy at the bar,
1697
01:18:29,182 --> 01:18:30,314
the dude in the blue shirt.
1698
01:18:32,316 --> 01:18:35,885
Vince, I thought that was you!
1699
01:18:35,928 --> 01:18:37,930
It's Gary.
1700
01:18:37,974 --> 01:18:39,932
- Oh yeah, hey man, how are you?
1701
01:18:39,976 --> 01:18:41,760
- Guys, Vince here
represented me
1702
01:18:41,804 --> 01:18:43,631
in my divorce case.
1703
01:18:43,675 --> 01:18:45,459
I'm gonna buy you a
drink, what do you drink?
1704
01:18:45,503 --> 01:18:47,070
Daiquiris, what?
1705
01:18:47,113 --> 01:18:49,246
No, I'm good,
I'm glad you're doing well.
1706
01:18:49,289 --> 01:18:52,336
- Not only did this guy
help me keep my money
1707
01:18:53,598 --> 01:18:57,471
and my house, he got
the court to order
1708
01:18:57,515 --> 01:19:01,301
my ex to return the breast
implants that I paid for.
1709
01:19:01,345 --> 01:19:03,173
I still keep them by my bedside.
1710
01:19:03,216 --> 01:19:04,652
I sleep on them
sometimes, at night
1711
01:19:04,696 --> 01:19:06,306
I'll put them under my
head like a little pillow
1712
01:19:06,350 --> 01:19:07,743
and I'll rest with them.
1713
01:19:07,786 --> 01:19:09,353
- It's wrong.
1714
01:19:09,396 --> 01:19:11,224
- Well, it's like what
you said before our trial,
1715
01:19:11,268 --> 01:19:12,443
"it's not about what's
right and wrong,
1716
01:19:12,486 --> 01:19:13,618
"it's about what you prove,"
1717
01:19:13,661 --> 01:19:15,881
and she couldn't prove shit!
1718
01:19:15,925 --> 01:19:17,709
Up top!
1719
01:19:28,981 --> 01:19:31,592
- It's six AM, are
you coming to bed
1720
01:19:31,636 --> 01:19:33,246
or did I come over
here for nothing?
1721
01:19:38,512 --> 01:19:40,297
Boobies, you see these?
1722
01:19:40,340 --> 01:19:41,820
Do you want these?
1723
01:19:41,864 --> 01:19:44,431
Or your little joystick?
1724
01:19:44,475 --> 01:19:46,303
- Jesus Christ,
woman, cover yourself,
1725
01:19:46,346 --> 01:19:47,870
what are you, Daytona Beach?
1726
01:19:49,654 --> 01:19:53,963
So, yeah, here's the
thing I'm only on level 12
1727
01:19:54,006 --> 01:19:56,704
right now, this could go
all day, so I'm thinking
1728
01:19:56,748 --> 01:19:59,490
maybe you'd be more
comfortable in your own bed.
1729
01:20:00,665 --> 01:20:02,798
You okay to drive?
1730
01:20:02,841 --> 01:20:04,843
- Look at you, a grown
man in his boxers
1731
01:20:04,887 --> 01:20:06,976
playing video games until
six o'clock in the morning,
1732
01:20:07,019 --> 01:20:09,195
trying to get me to pack
my shit and go home,
1733
01:20:09,239 --> 01:20:11,110
that is pathetic.
1734
01:20:12,546 --> 01:20:14,984
- And you'll waste all your
time playing video games,
1735
01:20:15,027 --> 01:20:17,334
and the occasional no
strings attached sex
1736
01:20:17,377 --> 01:20:18,988
with someone you
have no respect for.
1737
01:20:19,031 --> 01:20:21,904
- Oh my God, she's right.
1738
01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:23,949
- What?
1739
01:20:23,993 --> 01:20:25,603
Is this a kidnapping?
1740
01:20:25,646 --> 01:20:26,778
No, this
is the new Vince
1741
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:28,171
and this is a dire emergency,
1742
01:20:28,214 --> 01:20:29,694
just bear with me for a
bit and I'll take you home
1743
01:20:29,737 --> 01:20:31,261
like a gentleman, I promise.
1744
01:20:36,179 --> 01:20:38,224
Now hide your ass in the trunk.
1745
01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:40,531
You're right, you're
right, I'm sorry.
1746
01:20:40,574 --> 01:20:43,316
That's the old Vince, you
just wait right there.
1747
01:20:47,538 --> 01:20:49,540
- What's going on?
1748
01:20:49,583 --> 01:20:50,889
- I'm not gonna stop
beeping this horn
1749
01:20:50,933 --> 01:20:52,499
until you come down here.
1750
01:20:53,674 --> 01:20:55,676
I'm not joking.
- Oh my God.
1751
01:20:58,070 --> 01:20:59,680
You really thought it was
a good idea to bring her?
1752
01:21:00,943 --> 01:21:02,596
- We didn't sleep
together, I swear to God.
1753
01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:03,815
Will you tell her?
1754
01:21:03,859 --> 01:21:05,948
- It's true, he
totally ignored me.
1755
01:21:05,991 --> 01:21:07,471
- See? You see? I ignored her.
1756
01:21:07,514 --> 01:21:09,647
- You should be so proud.
1757
01:21:09,690 --> 01:21:11,475
My ex-husband's house?!
1758
01:21:15,392 --> 01:21:16,828
Why are you bringing me here?
1759
01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:18,656
- Just bear with me, please.
1760
01:21:24,444 --> 01:21:26,185
- No!
1761
01:21:26,229 --> 01:21:27,970
- Just come with, I
promise it's the last thing
1762
01:21:28,013 --> 01:21:29,841
I'll ever ask of you.
1763
01:21:34,977 --> 01:21:36,674
Just trust me.
1764
01:21:52,255 --> 01:21:55,954
- Oh, well this has
to be a bad dream.
1765
01:21:55,998 --> 01:21:57,869
My lawyer and my
ex-wife, although
1766
01:21:57,913 --> 01:22:00,132
that doesn't explain you.
1767
01:22:00,176 --> 01:22:01,394
Really?
1768
01:22:01,438 --> 01:22:02,874
Good morning, Sir.
1769
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,920
- Hi, what the hell
are you doing here?
1770
01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:07,618
And who is she?
1771
01:22:07,661 --> 01:22:09,315
- Her name is not really
important right now
1772
01:22:09,359 --> 01:22:11,230
mostly because I can't
seem to remember it
1773
01:22:11,274 --> 01:22:12,797
at the moment.
1774
01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:14,538
Look, we're a couple of
hours away from reconvening
1775
01:22:14,581 --> 01:22:16,322
with your soon-to-be ex-wife,
1776
01:22:16,366 --> 01:22:18,455
and as your attorney I
thought there was just
1777
01:22:18,498 --> 01:22:20,239
a couple of things we should
go over before the meeting.
1778
01:22:20,283 --> 01:22:22,241
- Nice house!
1779
01:22:22,285 --> 01:22:24,809
Any place I could take a shit?
1780
01:22:24,852 --> 01:22:25,941
Guest bathroom's fine.
1781
01:22:28,552 --> 01:22:29,901
I'll
explain that later.
1782
01:22:34,166 --> 01:22:36,168
Wow.
1783
01:22:36,212 --> 01:22:38,388
Anyway, here's what
we're gonna do,
1784
01:22:38,431 --> 01:22:40,433
you are gonna put a
big smile on your face
1785
01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:43,175
and you're gonna accept
their settlement offer.
1786
01:22:43,219 --> 01:22:44,307
You're gonna give her
the money that she wants
1787
01:22:44,350 --> 01:22:45,873
and you're gonna double it.
1788
01:22:45,917 --> 01:22:47,701
Plus, you're gonna give her
the house in the Hamptons
1789
01:22:47,745 --> 01:22:51,575
and a piece of your business,
let's say 20 percent.
1790
01:22:51,618 --> 01:22:53,707
And finally, most importantly,
you're gonna apologize
1791
01:22:53,751 --> 01:22:55,971
for being such a
horrible person.
1792
01:22:56,014 --> 01:22:58,016
You fucked up one too
many times Kendrick,
1793
01:22:58,060 --> 01:23:00,149
it's time to pay the piper.
1794
01:23:00,192 --> 01:23:01,759
- Pay the piper.
1795
01:23:01,802 --> 01:23:03,761
Did she put you up to this?
1796
01:23:03,804 --> 01:23:04,936
- No, no.
- This is my idea.
1797
01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:06,677
- Really?
1798
01:23:06,720 --> 01:23:08,722
Your own idea? Big boy idea?
1799
01:23:08,766 --> 01:23:11,812
Good. Listen you have
five seconds to tell me
1800
01:23:11,856 --> 01:23:17,079
that you're joking and get
the fuck off my property
1801
01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:20,256
before you have a
really serious problem.
1802
01:23:20,299 --> 01:23:21,822
- Vince, let's just go.
1803
01:23:21,866 --> 01:23:23,563
- No, no, no, we haven't
even started yet,
1804
01:23:23,607 --> 01:23:25,913
you are going to make
things right with Jane
1805
01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:27,132
right here, right now.
1806
01:23:27,176 --> 01:23:28,786
- Well that seems
highly unlikely.
1807
01:23:28,829 --> 01:23:30,135
- Vince.
1808
01:23:30,179 --> 01:23:32,355
- No, no. He's going to
admit that what he did
1809
01:23:32,398 --> 01:23:35,010
was a huge mistake,
that he fucked up
1810
01:23:35,053 --> 01:23:37,142
the best thing that
ever happened to him.
1811
01:23:37,186 --> 01:23:39,710
He's going to apologize
for being so self-involved
1812
01:23:39,753 --> 01:23:42,930
that he didn't realize he was
hurting both you and himself.
1813
01:23:42,974 --> 01:23:46,151
And that he was really
turned on by how good
1814
01:23:46,195 --> 01:23:48,197
you are at games that involve
hand-eye coordination.
1815
01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:49,763
- What?
1816
01:23:49,807 --> 01:23:52,853
- If he did that,
can you forgive him?
1817
01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:54,812
- I guess that I could
probably forgive that.
1818
01:23:54,855 --> 01:23:56,770
- And could you give
him another chance then?
1819
01:23:56,814 --> 01:23:58,294
- I might give him another date.
1820
01:24:00,774 --> 01:24:02,689
- You realize I'm talking
about you and I, right?
1821
01:24:02,733 --> 01:24:04,343
- Yeah, I picked up on that.
1822
01:24:04,387 --> 01:24:06,563
- Okay, good, I
was just checking.
1823
01:24:06,606 --> 01:24:07,999
Well then I'm sorry.
1824
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:09,522
Are you two finished
1825
01:24:09,566 --> 01:24:11,046
with your little
performance here?
1826
01:24:11,089 --> 01:24:13,439
- Ah, Kendrick, you
know I know everything
1827
01:24:13,483 --> 01:24:14,745
about you, right?
1828
01:24:14,788 --> 01:24:18,009
I mean it would be
a shame if some of
1829
01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:20,794
your private matters
became public knowledge.
1830
01:24:20,838 --> 01:24:22,448
- I have nothing to hide.
1831
01:24:22,492 --> 01:24:24,755
- Is that right? How about...?
1832
01:24:26,974 --> 01:24:28,454
God, I love this one.
1833
01:24:28,498 --> 01:24:32,632
- No problem, you can't
use this in court.
1834
01:24:32,676 --> 01:24:33,894
- And then there's these.
1835
01:24:40,684 --> 01:24:42,816
Oh, that is a tight ass there.
1836
01:24:46,124 --> 01:24:48,605
You're much more athletic
there than I expected.
1837
01:24:51,738 --> 01:24:55,220
Oh, I particularly
love the ball gag.
1838
01:24:56,874 --> 01:24:59,268
Is there a whole fist in there?
1839
01:24:59,311 --> 01:25:00,791
That might be my favorite.
1840
01:25:00,834 --> 01:25:02,053
Great penis.
1841
01:25:02,097 --> 01:25:06,405
How
did you get these?
1842
01:25:06,449 --> 01:25:08,799
- I had a little
crick in my neck so I
1843
01:25:08,842 --> 01:25:11,280
paid a visit to your
masseuse, very forthcoming.
1844
01:25:11,323 --> 01:25:12,977
Oh and by the way, she
offered me a happy ending,
1845
01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:14,152
I declined.
1846
01:25:14,196 --> 01:25:17,068
- Oh, so heroic.
1847
01:25:17,112 --> 01:25:18,156
- You can't submit
these as evidence,
1848
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:19,549
you'll be disbarred.
1849
01:25:19,592 --> 01:25:21,507
- You're right, but
what if these ended up
1850
01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:23,248
in the hands of a newspaper?
1851
01:25:23,292 --> 01:25:25,424
I mean you're the Pickle
Prince, imagine the headline.
1852
01:25:25,468 --> 01:25:27,296
- Goddammit man!
1853
01:25:27,339 --> 01:25:28,384
You're my attorney.
1854
01:25:28,427 --> 01:25:30,429
- Not after today, pal.
1855
01:25:30,473 --> 01:25:32,518
Ooh you know what, let me just
1856
01:25:32,562 --> 01:25:35,608
keep that one for my scrapbook.
1857
01:25:35,652 --> 01:25:37,567
You don't
have a scrapbook, liar!
1858
01:25:37,610 --> 01:25:39,786
Did you see
that? It's a great cock.
1859
01:25:39,830 --> 01:25:42,137
My God, you're a pig.
1860
01:25:43,921 --> 01:25:45,836
Pickle pig!
1861
01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,403
- If I'm the pickle pig
then you're the princess
1862
01:25:47,446 --> 01:25:50,014
ex-princess,
the ex-princess
1863
01:25:50,057 --> 01:25:51,885
of the pickle pig, fuck!
1864
01:25:53,670 --> 01:25:55,585
- Well, that about sums it up.
1865
01:25:55,628 --> 01:25:57,413
Fair is fair, isn't that right?
1866
01:25:58,979 --> 01:26:00,285
We'll have the paperwork
sent over to you
1867
01:26:00,329 --> 01:26:01,852
this afternoon and
unless you guys
1868
01:26:01,895 --> 01:26:03,854
have anything else,
we're done here.
1869
01:26:05,943 --> 01:26:07,249
No hard feelings, huh?
1870
01:26:10,643 --> 01:26:12,558
- I hope you enjoyed yourself,
1871
01:26:12,602 --> 01:26:15,344
because your ass is out of here.
1872
01:26:15,387 --> 01:26:17,737
- Yeah, I was sort
of planning on that.
1873
01:26:17,781 --> 01:26:19,913
I want you to know that
I went easy on you too.
1874
01:26:19,957 --> 01:26:23,395
You see, I could be having
sex with your ex-wife now.
1875
01:26:27,051 --> 01:26:30,837
But it turns out, I'm in
love with your ex-wife.
1876
01:26:32,578 --> 01:26:34,363
You know, the other one.
1877
01:26:34,406 --> 01:26:35,233
Anyway...
1878
01:26:41,979 --> 01:26:44,895
- My office, now.
1879
01:26:44,938 --> 01:26:47,202
- Yeah. Ladies.
1880
01:26:55,427 --> 01:26:59,214
- Shit's about to go down.
1881
01:27:03,261 --> 01:27:04,958
- Alright, so I guess I
can do this full time now,
1882
01:27:05,002 --> 01:27:06,308
what do they pay a coach?
1883
01:27:06,351 --> 01:27:07,439
- You've got a free cap.
1884
01:27:07,483 --> 01:27:08,962
-That I paid for.
1885
01:27:09,006 --> 01:27:11,051
- Look, you throw in a
pension plan, I'm in.
1886
01:27:12,575 --> 01:27:14,751
- So what's the
line on the game?
1887
01:27:14,794 --> 01:27:18,276
- Ah, let's see, first
baseman's got asthma,
1888
01:27:18,320 --> 01:27:20,757
pitcher's near-sighted,
and our best hitter
1889
01:27:20,800 --> 01:27:22,715
is deathly afraid of
anything being thrown at him,
1890
01:27:22,759 --> 01:27:25,675
so I'd say, yeah, we're
gonna lose by a lot.
1891
01:27:25,718 --> 01:27:27,285
Well I have faith.
1892
01:27:27,329 --> 01:27:28,982
I bet your team
wins by two runs.
1893
01:27:29,026 --> 01:27:31,071
I will win
this bet, we suck,
1894
01:27:31,115 --> 01:27:33,900
we're so gonna lose this
game, what's the wager?
1895
01:27:33,944 --> 01:27:35,337
You guys still
doing the whole bet thing?
1896
01:27:35,380 --> 01:27:37,339
Really? Isn't that
a little played out?
1897
01:27:37,382 --> 01:27:38,905
- Yeah, I gotta go
with Kenny on this one.
1898
01:27:38,949 --> 01:27:42,300
If you win the bet.
1899
01:27:42,344 --> 01:27:45,651
- Yeah, I'm in. Look
alive out there, fellas!
1900
01:27:45,695 --> 01:27:47,784
And just so you know,
winning is not everything,
1901
01:27:47,827 --> 01:27:49,699
alright, sometimes
more valuable lessons
1902
01:27:49,742 --> 01:27:50,917
can be learned by losing.
1903
01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:52,571
Especially if it's
by two runs or more.
1904
01:27:52,615 --> 01:27:53,659
Go get them!
1905
01:27:53,703 --> 01:27:54,704
- Don't listen to him!
1906
01:28:03,495 --> 01:28:05,454
- So what's your plan?
1907
01:28:05,497 --> 01:28:07,847
- I'm not sure, I think
maybe this whole thing
1908
01:28:07,891 --> 01:28:09,371
was a blessing in disguise.
1909
01:28:10,589 --> 01:28:12,156
All those years of
chasing money and climbing
1910
01:28:12,199 --> 01:28:15,507
the ladder I'd forgotten why
I love law in the first place.
1911
01:28:15,551 --> 01:28:16,943
- Yeah, why's that?
1912
01:28:16,987 --> 01:28:18,684
- It's helping people,
I lost sight of that
1913
01:28:18,728 --> 01:28:20,338
along the way.
1914
01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:22,340
- Wow.
1915
01:28:22,384 --> 01:28:24,342
- So I think I'm going
to work for a non-profit,
1916
01:28:24,386 --> 01:28:25,996
maybe specialize in
environmental law,
1917
01:28:26,039 --> 01:28:27,389
just because it's always
1918
01:28:27,432 --> 01:28:29,260
been something very dear to me.
1919
01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:31,306
See what happens.
1920
01:28:31,349 --> 01:28:35,614
- That's amazing, I'm
really excited for you.
1921
01:28:35,658 --> 01:28:37,050
It's gotta be liberating --
1922
01:28:37,094 --> 01:28:38,748
- No, I'm just fucking with you,
1923
01:28:38,791 --> 01:28:40,837
I'm gonna leave the
non-profit shit to Kenny.
1924
01:28:40,880 --> 01:28:42,142
- Hey, I charge my clients.
1925
01:28:42,186 --> 01:28:43,448
- Yeah, sure you do.
1926
01:28:43,492 --> 01:28:45,624
Me, on the other hand,
start my own firm,
1927
01:28:45,668 --> 01:28:47,191
go make more money than God.
1928
01:28:49,062 --> 01:28:52,327
- Hey, honey, don't we
have our own little wager?
1929
01:28:52,370 --> 01:28:56,200
- Oh yeah, yeah, and
I'm a woman of my word,
1930
01:28:56,243 --> 01:28:58,376
but if I move in and
I find out you've got
1931
01:28:58,420 --> 01:29:01,466
some weird habit like
you floss your asshole
1932
01:29:01,510 --> 01:29:05,818
with my face towel or save
your belly button lint
1933
01:29:05,862 --> 01:29:08,168
in a jar, so help me God
I will take your balls,
1934
01:29:08,212 --> 01:29:09,387
- Oh here we go.
1935
01:29:09,431 --> 01:29:10,562
- No wait for it,
this is a good one.
1936
01:29:10,606 --> 01:29:12,564
I will take each
ball individually,
1937
01:29:12,608 --> 01:29:14,305
I will put it on a skewer --
1938
01:29:14,349 --> 01:29:15,698
- Ooh, like a kebob.
1939
01:29:15,741 --> 01:29:17,526
Yeah, like a ball
kebob.
1940
01:29:17,569 --> 01:29:20,442
I will roast it over
an open flame --
1941
01:29:20,485 --> 01:29:21,486
- You did it, that's great.
1942
01:29:24,228 --> 01:29:25,534
- Play ball!
1943
01:29:25,577 --> 01:29:26,970
- Come on, Bobby!
1944
01:29:47,643 --> 01:29:50,907
- It's too bad they lost, huh?
1945
01:29:50,950 --> 01:29:53,866
- Yeah, so sad.
1946
01:30:00,003 --> 01:30:02,832
- It's been a crazy,
stupid amount of build-up
1947
01:30:02,875 --> 01:30:04,137
for this moment, huh?
1948
01:30:04,181 --> 01:30:05,269
- Definitely.
1949
01:30:05,312 --> 01:30:07,793
- Yeah. Phew!
1950
01:30:07,837 --> 01:30:10,143
- High probability of
it being anti-climatic.
1951
01:30:10,187 --> 01:30:13,103
- Yeah, anti-climax-ic...
1952
01:30:16,149 --> 01:30:18,848
- That never happens with
me, just so you know.
1953
01:30:20,632 --> 01:30:24,897
- Me neither, I can go
all night, don't worry.
1954
01:30:24,941 --> 01:30:26,769
- Men have said that
to me, but it never
1955
01:30:26,812 --> 01:30:28,814
works out that way.
1956
01:30:28,858 --> 01:30:32,514
- Trust me, I can
go longer than you,
1957
01:30:32,557 --> 01:30:34,559
so, we're good.
1958
01:30:35,691 --> 01:30:37,519
- Care to make a bet?
1959
01:30:38,824 --> 01:30:40,609
- I'll take that bet.
1960
01:30:40,652 --> 01:30:43,002
Shake on it.
1961
01:30:43,046 --> 01:30:44,177
- Nah.
1962
01:31:07,723 --> 01:31:08,898
And action!
1963
01:31:08,941 --> 01:31:11,030
- And in all this
time, have you ever
1964
01:31:11,074 --> 01:31:14,599
been unfaithful to your husband,
Mrs. Chenowith.
1965
01:31:14,643 --> 01:31:18,908
And by the way, your
wife, let's just say
1966
01:31:18,951 --> 01:31:22,955
she stuffed grape
leaves.
1967
01:31:22,999 --> 01:31:25,697
- Oh, I didn't realize
that not jogging
1968
01:31:25,741 --> 01:31:30,049
was still available
as an op-- what?
1969
01:31:31,790 --> 01:31:34,401
Mine ended with a couple
putting in the necessary
1970
01:31:34,445 --> 01:31:38,536
time to take.
1971
01:31:38,580 --> 01:31:42,540
I didn't really realize that
not jogging was still...
1972
01:31:42,584 --> 01:31:45,151
What?
1973
01:31:46,588 --> 01:31:49,286
- And that is why I never
flush while still sitting,
1974
01:31:49,329 --> 01:31:50,287
you never know
where you're gonna
1975
01:31:50,330 --> 01:31:52,028
find 27 pounds of shit.
1976
01:31:52,071 --> 01:31:55,858
Oh, I didn't realize that
not jogging was...
1977
01:31:58,948 --> 01:32:00,645
- Are they
roller-skating upstairs?
1978
01:32:05,345 --> 01:32:09,524
No, not gonna
happen, fuck, dammit.
1979
01:32:11,743 --> 01:32:13,266
- We need some more
Arizona iced tea
1980
01:32:13,310 --> 01:32:15,617
if you don't mind.
1981
01:32:17,880 --> 01:32:22,493
Kenny? Oh man,
Kenny I gotta poop.
1982
01:32:24,713 --> 01:32:28,630
I really gotta... can you
at least hand me this beer?
1983
01:32:28,673 --> 01:32:31,589
My nose itches, man,
will you itch my nose?
1984
01:32:31,633 --> 01:32:33,199
Kenny.
1985
01:32:33,243 --> 01:32:35,201
- Oh I didn't realize that
not jogging was actually
1986
01:32:35,245 --> 01:32:38,030
an option, cause if
that's the case
1987
01:32:38,074 --> 01:32:39,902
I vote for that.
1988
01:32:41,164 --> 01:32:45,081
- There's butt
soup, breast soup.
1989
01:32:45,124 --> 01:32:48,475
Think
about my hole.
1990
01:32:48,519 --> 01:32:49,781
- I think that's my pacemaker.
1991
01:32:52,784 --> 01:32:55,134
- There's probably some
small scissors we could
1992
01:32:55,178 --> 01:32:57,789
get in there, no, nothing?
1993
01:32:57,833 --> 01:33:00,096
- Back, shoulder.
1994
01:33:00,139 --> 01:33:02,925
It's just like hair
soup, just straight hair.
1995
01:33:05,841 --> 01:33:07,277
Tracy,
what are you doing?
1996
01:33:07,320 --> 01:33:09,975
- I don't... I should
go back to work now,
1997
01:33:10,019 --> 01:33:11,934
shouldn't I? I
spoke out of turn,
1998
01:33:11,977 --> 01:33:13,631
I'm so sorry.
1999
01:33:13,675 --> 01:33:16,895
- Come on man, you've
seen me naked before.
2000
01:33:16,939 --> 01:33:20,072
- So, do we like
girls at all, or?
2001
01:33:20,116 --> 01:33:22,640
- Come on, at least
bring me a long straw.
2002
01:33:22,684 --> 01:33:26,078
Celeste is a go,
I repeat, Celeste is a go.
2003
01:33:28,254 --> 01:33:30,648
- That's titties for you,
there ain't no titties for us.
2004
01:33:30,692 --> 01:33:32,215
- No tits.
2005
01:33:33,999 --> 01:33:35,610
- Come on.
2006
01:33:41,659 --> 01:33:44,096
- I'm the black friend, right?
2007
01:33:44,140 --> 01:33:46,490
- I guess that would
make me the white friend.
2008
01:33:46,533 --> 01:33:47,796
- Up top.
2009
01:33:47,839 --> 01:33:49,362
- This doesn't look
like an airplane.
2010
01:33:49,406 --> 01:33:50,625
- You shut your fucking mouth!
2011
01:33:59,721 --> 01:34:02,375
- You need to go shopping
for a new blouse.
2012
01:34:02,419 --> 01:34:05,248
Look, I'm you and this is Jane,
2013
01:34:05,291 --> 01:34:10,688
this is your nuts.
2014
01:34:10,732 --> 01:34:12,647
You should try
that on.
2015
01:34:19,610 --> 01:34:23,701
- Be strong, my sensitive boy,
2016
01:34:23,745 --> 01:34:27,792
I salute you.
2017
01:34:30,795 --> 01:34:36,061
Ooh! Bad.
2018
01:34:36,105 --> 01:34:38,237
- Alright, so you guys ready?
2019
01:34:38,281 --> 01:34:41,023
I bet you guys, you do
this, you pay attention,
2020
01:34:41,066 --> 01:34:42,677
I'm gonna show you once
and you're gonna have to
2021
01:34:42,720 --> 01:34:45,984
do it, I'll even do it
a little slower for you.
2022
01:34:46,028 --> 01:34:49,248
So, one, two, three,
head, head, head.
2023
01:34:49,292 --> 01:34:51,773
One, two, three,
head, head, head.
2024
01:34:51,816 --> 01:34:54,340
Then it's stop,
bring it this way.
2025
01:34:54,384 --> 01:34:55,428
Got it?
2026
01:34:55,472 --> 01:34:56,865
Let's do it.
2027
01:34:56,908 --> 01:34:58,736
Five, six, seven, eight.
2028
01:34:58,780 --> 01:35:00,825
One, two, three,
head, head, head.
2029
01:35:09,225 --> 01:35:11,575
Who's the winner?
2030
01:35:15,100 --> 01:35:18,147
♪ I've waited
a long long time
2031
01:35:18,190 --> 01:35:20,671
♪ So I've been thinking
2032
01:35:22,064 --> 01:35:25,328
♪ That it's time for
me to take my time
2033
01:35:25,371 --> 01:35:27,722
♪ I've got this feeling
2034
01:35:29,419 --> 01:35:32,030
♪ To be taken over by my pride
2035
01:35:33,336 --> 01:35:36,774
♪ There's times in this
world when I wonder
2036
01:35:36,818 --> 01:35:40,343
♪ There's times in this
world when I can't see
2037
01:35:44,042 --> 01:35:46,566
♪ I've waited a long, long time
2038
01:35:47,959 --> 01:35:52,747
♪ Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, I've
waited a long, long time
2039
01:35:54,792 --> 01:35:59,536
♪ I've been wanting
for you to comfort me
2040
01:36:02,060 --> 01:36:06,804
♪ Embrace me or let go
and just set me free
2041
01:36:09,589 --> 01:36:13,245
♪ There's times in this
world when I wonder
2042
01:36:13,289 --> 01:36:16,771
♪ There's times in this
world when I can breathe
2043
01:36:20,383 --> 01:36:22,820
♪ I've waited a long, long time
2044
01:36:24,343 --> 01:36:30,785
♪ Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, I've
waited a long, long time ♪
138342
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