All language subtitles for The Real Derry Jamie-Lee ODonnell

# Welcome to Jamie-Lee's
documentary, documentary

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

# With Jamie-Lee on Derry #

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

Cheers.
My name is Jamie-Lee O'Donnell.

# Do-da-da-do...
And you might know me from
the comedy series Derry Girls.

Motherfuckers!

Motherfucker. It's my new thing.

In the show, my character Michelle
Mallon is a foul-mouthed schoolgirl

determined to live her best life,
despite growing up in a war zone.

Michelle, he's a soldier.
Ach, some of them are rides.

You're a fucking embarrassment!

LOUD BLAST

In real life, I'm nothing
like Michelle, of course.

Listen!
I'm going up the fucking hill.

I'm gonna ask him
a couple of questions.
SHE LAUGHS

I'm an Irish woman,
an Irish working-class woman,
and I'm very proud of that.

I'm a Derry girl born and bred,
and no matter where I am,
Derry is home.

I've always wanted to show people
how amazing it is. Just like
a wee love letter to Derry.

But nearly 25 years
after the Good Friday Agreement

marked the start of a new, more
peaceful era for Northern Ireland,

I wanna know if Derry
is a better place to grow up in now
than back then.

Nothing's really gonna change
if everybody's still segregated.

There's still a massive division
within Derry,
within the two communities.

I'll be finding out new things
about my own city.

Mad about it.
And visiting parts of it
that I've never set foot in before.

I saw the Union Jack
and couldn't think.

As well as coming to terms
with some of my own demons.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Shite-ing myself to be honest.

Most of all, I'll be trying to
understand what it's like to be
a young person in Derry today.

No! We have our problems,
but I wanna solve our problems.

Let's get absolutely snattered.
SHE LAUGHS

Saoirse's one of my best friends.
She's just brilliant to work with.

I love all the tipples.

We're like the wee terrible twins.
"Do you want another one?" The other
person's not gonna say no.

Thank you. Cheers.
Thank you. Cheers.

So, I think Derry is a class
night out, as we all know.

What is it? What do you miss really
about Derry when you're away?

I miss, cos Derry's so small,
it's walking distance to get a pint.

It is, and a night out here
feels like a bigger event.

Do you know, like a night out
is out out.

Even when people
aren't talking about it,
we throw in the facts about Derry,

where's the best place to go,
when we signpost it.

And people say,
"Do you work for the council?"

We we're like,
"Should we work for the council?"

Should we? I think we'd do
a really good job.

We are also full of random facts
about the town.

We know so many random facts
about Derry.

Here's some information I know
you didn't want, but here it is.

Facts on Derry by Jamie-Lee
and Saoirse.Facts on Derry.
SHE LAUGHS

I think it's the people of Derry
that make it special for me.

And it comes with
all their sensibilities
and their weird and wonderful ways.

Like, everything's so intense.
I don't know if that's
from coming with the Troubles,

or the working-class background,
maybe a combination of everything.

But brilliant craic.
Brilliant craic. Brilliant craic.

It's like no matter what this town
has ever went through,

I think it's bred
this real lust for joy.

Like, there's no stopping us. Yeah.

There's no stopping us.
There's no stopping us. Aye.

While you can probably hear just
how much Saoirse and I love Derry,

we're not blind to its problems.

And obviously we're both very proud
of where we're from,

and I think that we're
so proud of the show, as well,

and I'm really proud of you
doing this documentary.

I don't think that there really is
a better person that could be
leading this than you.

I've always just really been
passionate about it growing up,

and some of the injustices
that happened here,
like a lot of other places,

and I just think it was time
to highlight stuff, just from
my perspective, if I can.

My beautiful hometown is in
the north-west of Northern Ireland,

close to the Irish border.

KNOCKS ON GLASS

Licence.

Where have you come from today?
Derry. Londonderry.

Derry. Londonderry.

Calm the fuck down, James!
Are you English? Yeah.

He's fine. We didn't bring him
up here to kill him or anything.

Yes, this city is so good,
they named it twice. Well, kind of.

Catholics call it Derry
and Protestants call it Londonderry.

Behind me here
is the west side of the city,
also known as the city side.

Back in the day,
that was mostly Catholic.

And then on the east here
in front of me is the water side

and that was mostly Protestant.

But even today, not much has changed

and the two communities
are still largely divided.

This is the Peace Bridge in Derry,
one of three bridges,
cos we apparently love a bridge.

It was built in 2011
to literally bridge the gap

between the Catholic community
and the Protestant community.

Because for a wee while,
I don't know if you've heard, we
weren't really getting on the best.

Have I ever dated a Protestant?
Probably. Without realising.

I definitely got a wee kiss
in a nightclub off a Protestant,
for defs.

SHE LAUGHS

The way the bridge curves
is meant to symbolise

that the path to peace
is never straight.

Turns out, they were right.

SIREN WAILS

In 1998, after 30 years of violence

and more than 3,500 deaths,

the Good Friday Agreement
was signed.

Protestants and Catholics would now
share power in Northern Ireland

to make things fairer for all.

Nearly 25 years later, I want to see

what life is like for young girls
growing up in Derry today.

So I've come back to my old school,
St Cecilia's College.

Although the building has had
a bit of an upgrade since my day,

it brings back lots of memories.

A French fella, that's what
I wanna do. Nation of rides.

My fanny's going funny just thinking
about it! Could you not use
that word, Michelle?

What, fanny? Why do you always
have to be so coarse?

What's the big deal? We all have
one. I don't. You are one.

Nice to meet yous all, anyway.
Nice to meet you. Aren't you
supposed to be in class? Yeah.

THEY LAUGH

I can't wait to get back to one of
my favourite classes and teachers,

Miss McTague and drama. So good to
see you. Thanks for having me back.

Thanks for having me in your class,
everybody.

It's been a while since you were
here.It's been a tiny while, aye.
THEY LAUGH

Do you wanna pick yourself out,
cos I thought this was hilarious,

cos you're hiding behind
a dog poo bin. Of course.

And it's dog shit.OK, good.
SHE LAUGHS

We'll say dog poo,
and the cot, and the real cot.

It's Channel 4. We can say...
THEY LAUGH

You're in your teacher's classroom
now. I know.
You'll mind your manners.

Oh, I might just swear.

As punishment for my bad language...

Oh, that's not too bad.

..I have to help tidy up
the props cupboard.

Look at this.
I remember all this stuff.

But it gives me a chance
to grill the girls.

Hi. I'm just gonna give you
bunches of stuff and then we can
have a wee sort through.

# Do-do-do-do

Anyway, so what year are yous all?
Upper sixth. Upper sixth.

And are yous all from Derry?

Yes.
This is still all girls Catholic
school, is that right? Yeah.

Yous don't have a wee random
Protestant fella running about,
a wee English fella? No.

That would be a good craic.

It's hard to believe
that more than 90 percent
of children in Northern Ireland

are still educated
in non-integrated schools.

That's schools that are effectively
either Catholic or Protestant.

Do yous mix with Protestants
outside, people of different
nationalities, anything like that?

Or do you stick to your own?
Everybody's different.

It's not voluntary.

We just, like... Aye.
We just so happen to be surrounded
by our own people, I think.

Seeking out Protestants.
If you're a Protestant,
do you wanna be my friend?

SHE LAUGHS
Do you wanna play netball?

From hearing what your parents went
through or older siblings in terms
of living in Derry and segregation,

do you think that's still as
prominent now, or are you finding
that it's not that big a deal?

I don't think it has really
anything to do with religion at all.

It's more political views. Like,
who cares if you're a Protestant?

Nobody cares
about your actual religion.

Do you think it's more like
cultural identity? Aye.

So you think there's space
to have a healthy debate
with people of your generation

about the cultural differences
in Derry?

I wouldn't say healthy.
Not healthy. No.

Everyone is so opinionated on it
that you almost just don't wanna
get into it,

if you're, like, friends with them
or... I would disagree.

Say I'm speaking to someone
from Belfast and I find out
they're a Protestant,

we could speak very openly and
honestly, as long as you're both
willing to listen.

But I think in Derry,
we kind of politicise it more,
kind of like standoffish.

It's just nerves.
Everybody's nervous. If you ignore
it, hope it won't be brung up. Aye.

It seems it can still be hard
to talk about these issues

and I wonder if it's because
what happened in the past

is still such a big part
of people's lives in Derry today.

Because obviously none of yous
were around during the Troubles,

do you think it's, even with your
generation, it still feels
a wee bit personal?

Northern Ireland as a whole,
Catholics and Protestants,

have, like, a really high
mental health rate,

and we were saying
that we think a lot of that
does come from the Troubles.

So it's been, like, passed down
through, like, trauma.

So is it safe to say,
in your generation,
you still feel impacted by it

even though yous weren't there in
person? Oh, definitely. Yeah. Aye.

God, that's really scary, isn't it?
It's like our mummies and daddies.

Of course.
It's not that far back in history.

For yous to feel it's impacted
your lives now is insane.

There's a whole new generation of
people still trying to figure it out
and still discussing it.

Like, it's a massive issue.

I don't think I was surprised
that they didn't have
much cross-community

or much integration
with the Protestant community.

You just kind of wish that it wasn't
happening still. You'd think
we'd have moved on a wee bit.

But it's made me think
about the fact that I also lived
a fairly segregated life

within my own Catholic community.

Maybe it's time I experienced
parts of this city

I've spent my entire life
scared to visit.

When I set out to discover
what it's like

to be a young person in Derry today,

I didn't expect to be talking
about the Troubles quite so soon.

But I've realised
that to understand Derry,

you have to go back
to the 30th of January 1972.

Hello, Ciara.
Hello, Jamie-Lee, how are you?

Great. Thanks for having me.
Not at all. Thank you for coming.

Ciara O'Connor Pozo is showing me
around the Museum Of Free Derry,

where the main exhibition
remembers a day the people of Derry
will never forget.

This is the Derry
Civil Rights Association banner.

And it was actually carried
on Bloody Sunday.

You might see that
it's kind of a bit stained,

and that's actually because it was
lain over the body of Hugh Gilmour,

who was shot
just outside the Rossville flats.

17-year-old Hugh Gilmour
was shot dead on Bloody Sunday.

He was one of 13 people killed by
British Army paratroopers that day.

A 14th man died from his injuries
five months later.

It's quite a sad exhibition,
as well. It's quite powerful.

It is. It's really overwhelming,
isn't it... Mm-hm. ..to see it?

The Troubles in Northern Ireland
started in the late 1960s,

fuelled by historical events
and social injustices.

After more than 700 years
of British rule,

Ireland had been partitioned
in 1921.

Six of the island's 32 counties
became Northern Ireland

and remained under British rule.

After partition,
many Catholics in Northern Ireland
faced discrimination,

particularly in housing, jobs,
voting and political representation.

By the 1960s,
people here were taking to the
streets in civil rights protests.

It was against this backdrop
that one of Northern Ireland's
darkest days unfolded

right here in Derry.

GUNFIRE

I would describe Bloody Sunday as...

a day in Derry history,
Irish history,

that changed the course of history.

EXPLOSION
Three hours
after the procession began,

this has ended up,
as dusk comes onto the Bogside,

as the worst ever confrontation
between the Army

and the Catholic people
of the Creggan and Bogside.

It was a civil rights march.

The Derry people were marching
for the rights that they deserved.

EXPLOSION

And the British paratroopers
opened fire

and murdered 13 people on the day,
14 total.

Innocent, defenceless people.

There are three in that Saracen
car. There are two men laying
at the end of this block of flats.

There's another man at least
very close to being dead.
There are two others up there.

SIREN WAILS

This exhibit actually contains
personal effects that would have
belonged to the victims.

One of the ones that I think is
really powerful is this baby grow,

that was used to stem the blood
of Michael Kelly.

And he was brought in injured
to a house and this woman
obviously just found a baby grow

and used it to stop the blood.
But he unfortunately died.

There was quite a few 17-year-olds
that died on the day,
and he was one of them.

How prominent do you think
those stories are?

Do you think they would resonate
with 17-year-olds now?

There's young people here in Derry
that would go on climate marches
and... Yeah.

..we kind of take that, that right
to go out and make our views heard,

we kind of take that
nearly for granted.

And this was just 50 years ago.

The Bloody Sunday families
spent decades fighting to clear
the names of their loved ones.

An initial inquiry had endorsed
claims that the soldiers opened fire

only after they came under attack
from the crowd.

In 2010,
the Saville Inquiry made it clear

that soldiers had lied
in these claims

and concluded that the killings
were unjustifiable.

Now, Saville uses the term
"unjustifiable."

But to me, and most people I know,

an unjustifiable killing
is the same as murder.

It took 38 years for the British
government to apologise.

What happened on Bloody Sunday

was both unjustified
and unjustifiable.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The trauma of the violence
doesn't just affect
those who lived through it.

The stories of the Troubles
and the soldiers and all that,
we all know that.

It's not that far back in the past.
My parents had lessons in school

how to listen out for gunfire
and what material to hide behind.

Was it under a car or behind a wall?

To understand about bombs
and things like that.

GUNSHOT

But growing up in Derry,
it was just...
you just always had to be aware,

and I didn't really fully know why
because I didn't grow up
through the 70s.

But there was just this sort of
panicked energy around the adults
of just fear.

It's been 50 years
since Bloody Sunday,

and I've been asked to do a reading
at a special commemoration event.

Thanks for inviting me.
It's an honour.

But I always get really nervous
with stuff like this, cos it's such
a huge responsibility, isn't it?

We wanted to put together
a massive public event
that everyone could attend.

It's kind of about looking forward
with hope, but still remembering
what happened.

It's shaped our culture
in many ways. It has.
I'm even more nervous now.

Being in the museum and speaking to
Ciara, I think it's really brought
home the responsibility

that I have in that little section
of the performance

at making sure I do it justice
and do Derry people proud and
the people who've gone through it.

So it's nerve-racking,
but I'm really honoured to be asked.

Growing up in Derry,
I spent most of my time with people
brought up Catholic like me.

But around a quarter of
the population here is Protestant.

And while I've had
a few Protestant friends,

I don't know much about
their culture or traditions.
Except for one.

To think, I could be
staring at him right now.

You can't marry an Orange man,
Michelle. It's a pity.

Because I think there's something
really sexy about the fact
that they hate us so much.

No. Have I ever been
to a 12th of July March? No. It's
just funny that you would ask that.

BRASS BAND PLAYS
Everyone in Northern Ireland
knows about the 12th of July,

or the 12th as it's better known.

It's the anniversary
of the Battle of the Boyne in 1690,

when a Protestant king
defeated a Catholic king.

Protestant marches and parades
take place on this
and other big anniversaries

throughout the year
in Northern Ireland.

One of the organisations
that celebrates Protestant culture

is based in this building
right in the centre of Derry.

And needless to say, I've never
set foot in this place before.

Something I never thought
in a million years I would do,

cos I thought I'd just walk in
and catch flames or something,
I don't know.

Plot twist. I'm a Protestant.

I'm here to meet one of the oldest
foot bands in the country,

who take part in lots
of different events and parades,
including the 12th.

BAND PLAYS
It's my favourite.

As I walk in, their weekly
practice is well underway.

Even hearing this music
makes me feel a bit weird.

Something you need to know about me
is that when I'm nervous,
I talk... a lot.

Hello.How are you?Do you know any
Wolfe Tones? No, I'm only joking.
THEY LAUGH

Thank yous for having me.
And I just wanted to sort of
get a wee chat to yous

and just ask yous
what is all this about?

What's the craic?What's the craic?
THEY LAUGH

It's a big surprise,
I don't know anybody
who plays in a marching band.

And is it predominantly Protestant
people that play in the bands?

It is, yes.
It's predominant Protestant.
Is there any bands that you know of

that has a mix
of different religions?

Obviously, on parade,
if it's an Orange parade, it usually
technically would always be...

Just for safety reasons,
it has to be all Protestants.

But, I mean, we do cross-border
things with Catholics bands,
if you want to call them that.

You're brought up with it
and you do join from an early age.

Younger people, again, a lot
of them come from family members.

And it can transpire into academia,
as well. So a lot of the parents
are very happy for them

to come and learn their instruments
and become part of the band.

It's all going so well
until I mention Bloody Sunday.

I also wanted to ask yous,
the 50th anniversary
of Bloody Sunday is coming up,

and I just wanted to ask, again,
you don't have to answer,

what's your perception of that?

Would yous, I don't know, would yous
be interesting in that at all?
Or does it...

Is it anything to do with yous,
or how would yous feel about it?
If anything. It might be nothing.

OK, Great.

There was just a radio silence.
And I'll be honest,

I was really, really shocked,
because I didn't anticipate...

a reaction about it
different to mine.

And I know that's a wee bit
ignorant to me, I suppose.

But I really didn't expect
that level of silence at all.

I think I made people really
uncomfortable. And I didn't mean to.

So we just moved on
with the conversation. I think
I made a couple of awkward jokes

cos I just do that whenever
it's awkward. You just sort of
have a couple of jokes.

Well, we'll just put that aside.
We'll put that aside.

Do yous know any Irish jigs? I don't
think I even know any Irish jigs.

There's Irish jigs in the folder.
Irish jigs, aye.

Guys, it's not in the folder.
What's this wee guy called?

It looks like a wee hotdog.
It's a baton. Baton!

Hold the big end. There we go.
THEY LAUGH
I thought it was the wee hotdog end.

THEY LAUGH

One, two.
THEY PLAY

This feels slightly surreal.

Here I am conducting
a Protestant flute band,

surrounded by flags
I'd usually run a mile from.

Unlike me,
many in the Protestant community

see themselves as British
and are loyal to the Crown.

But even though we come
from very different worlds,

everyone in the flute band
has been really welcoming to me.

That was really good.
Yous are really, really good.
That's brilliant.

I want to find out more about
what it's like to be a young person
in the Protestant community here.

Hi, Julie, how are you? How are you?
I'm good. So I'm meeting Julie
from the band for a drink.

Was there any feedback
after I left? Were they thinking,
"She's a head case"?

We want you as our new conductor
now.
That was really good, wasn't it?

Yous are good banter, as well.
It was a good craic.

I just sort of wanted to ask,
do you think there's certain things

that are really affecting the
Protestant community in Derry at the
moment? Any sort of social issues?

A lot of working-class
Protestant areas,
there's problems with education,

under-achievement within education,
particularly within working-class
Protestant boys.

There's been an increase
in the use of food banks.

So there is a lot of social issues
going on,

particularly within the Protestant
community at the minute, as well.

When you look across the spectrum of
the city, you see that everybody's
facing the same thing.

We're feeling people who are
struggling with mental health issues
across Northern Ireland.

And so something really needs
to be done about it.

I don't know what it's like to grow
up in the Protestant community

or to be British
over in this part of the world.
I can't imagine the goal... was...

for the Protestant community to come
down and face the problems we have.

It just feels like
everybody's fucked now.

While the British government
has said

its commitment to Northern Ireland
and the union is unshakeable,

many people feel the problems here
are being made worse by Brexit.

And there's increased discussions
about the possibility
of a border pool

and a united Ireland.

How do you think that would make
you feel, or your community feel?

There is a wee bit of hurt in the
community that sometimes we're just
sort of still just seen as,

"Oh, they're Irish over there."
Whereas we see ourselves
as British Northern Irish.

We would want to remain
part of the UK.

So any issues that stem
from our community,

regardless, come from the fact
that sometimes you can feel
identity slipping away.

And identity is a very important
thing to Protestant people

because it's part of who we are.

And what would you say
in the next ten years
would you like to see, if anything?

I would just like to see
the city thriving. Peaceful freedom,

peaceful celebration of culture
for everybody.

Thank you so much, Julie.
I really appreciate it.
And cheers to the wee drink.

Thanks for coming.
Let's get absolutely snattered.
THEY LAUGH

I'm so pleased Derry is now a place

where I can go for a drink
with someone like Julie.

But this is a city still held
hostage by its complicated history.

And I've realised that to move on,
we need to tackle the trauma
head-on.

Even if that means confronting
my own demons.

..that will live long
in the memory of the people.

What was supposed to be
a simple civil rights march

turned into a day
of bloodshed and horror.

I'm rehearsing my lines
for the Bloody Sunday
50th anniversary event.

British men thumbing through history
pages looking for solutions...

It's a huge part of Derry history.

Obviously it was a negative part
for such a long time,

and I think this commemoration
service that's happening

is maybe a way to look at how far
we've come in this city, hopefully,

and that in itself
is such a big responsibility.

What was supposed to be
a simple civil rights march

turned into a day of bloodshed
and horror

that will live long
in the memory of the people.

Having to think about what happened
is proving difficult for me

and is bringing a lot of my own
childhood trauma to the surface.

If you grew up in a certain place
where you're afraid of the police,

it definitely does something
to your decisions

and how you feel about yourself
and how you value yourself.

If the people who are supposed
to protect you, look after you,
you're brought up afraid of them,

and are distrusting of them...
it leaves you a bit lost.

It's just fucking overwhelming. And
I just think it's unfair for people,

especially my parents' generation.

Looking back as an adult,
it's really hard not to get
really heartbroken by it,

and you feel, like, devastated
for your family.

Maybe it's no wonder
many people think there's
a mental health crisis in Derry,

something experts recognise as
linked to Troubles-related trauma.

These people still struggle
with the devastation of it.
We're still segregated.

And that's just not fixed
within a generation.

Despite everything
this place has been through,

there's a resilience in Derry people
that I think is nothing short
of incredible.

Hi, Serena. Oh, hey! How are you?

Serena Terry
is an amazingly-talented Derry woman
turned online sensation.

Her character, Mammy Banter,
has over 20 million likes on TikTok.

Don't judge me, right? Right.

I can do it. Jesus shit!

I don't know where he's heard that.
That's class!
SHE LAUGHS

Serena has used
this huge online platform

to get people talking
about mental health in Derry.

And she's brutally honest
about her own experience.

My name's Serena. I'm a mum of two,
35-year-old, and I am on medication
for anxiety and depression

and have been for six years.
But that was enough then

to start the conversation and the
narrative around mental health,
and the feedback I got

from thousands and thousands
of people

to say that they, too, were either
on medication for anxiety,

or were suffering, feeling that
they couldn't ask for help,

that this is just
part and parcel of life.

Serena's struggle with anxiety
is something many people,
including me, could relate to.

When I got to the stage
of asking for help,
it took me about two years.

I was in complete denial.
And I just broke down

in front of the doctors and that
was enough for them to see...

Aye, it's a scary thing.
That happened to myself, too,

and I was worried about my anxiety,
even after Derry Girls took off.

And you think
all your Christmases came at once
so you should be dead happy

and everything's supposed
to be fine. Perfect.

And then it's like, "Well,
what have you got to be sad about?"

And you start to think about it,
you're like "Fuck everything!"
I wrote my will. Jesus!

I wrote my will. I was going to bed
every night thinking I'm not gonna
wake up in the morning.

And it spiralled into anxiety
and panic attacks and depression.

Serena's openness is helping me
confront my own feelings.

Do you know what? Even doing this
documentary, I'm struggling,

cos I get so much anxiety
when I'm going to film,

in my stomach, and I feel like
I physically want to run away,

but I have to just get over it,
and I've been doing that,
and I'm glad I am,

but even now, pulling apart all this
stuff and having to think about
my life... Your personal stuff.

..it's freaking me out. Is it?
But I'm glad I'm doing it.
Have you ever been so open? No.

This whole process has been dead
nerve-racking and really
uncomfortable, if I'm being honest.

I know it's something I want to do.
I knew it would be uncomfortable

because it's close to home
and I don't like crying.
I still have that sort of...

that sort of closed-off-ness
that you sort of get
coming from here sometimes.

How would you view the mental health
crisis within Derry?

I have seen first-hand, erm...

the legacy of the conflict
and the Troubles,

from my daddy and him
having paranoid schizophrenia.

The legacy of deprivation,
poverty and...

most recently, I've seen
the legacy of lack of funding.

We've less funding for mental health
services than anywhere in the UK.

And it just frustrates me.
It just doesn't make any sense.

So we walk further down the beach
and we do a wee warm up,

just to get the blood going
and heat up the body.

Serena decided to try and improve
her own mental health
with some cold-water swimming.

Now hundreds of others in Derry
are joining her.

The cold-water dipping. Yes.
I think it sounds terrifying.

You look really nervous every time
you say that. Because it's mental.

It doesn't make any sense. It's
Ireland. What are you talking about?

So I went and I tried it and...

within a couple of days,
my whole mood changed. I felt
as if I could take on the world.

And I started documenting it
on Instagram.

So many people were like, "Tell me
more about this cold-water dipping."

So I put an open invite, I set up a
page on Instagram and I said, "Come
along. I'll teach yous how to do it.

"We'll go down every week."
And here we are.
We've over 200 people in the group.

It's ranging from 17, 18-year-old
girls who are suffering with anxiety
and are using it as treatment,

and then we've got
that older demographic,

who are grieving from suicide.

The way I see it,
if ten people are benefiting
more now with their mental health

than they were before Christmas,

it's the proudest thing
I've ever done in my life.

I wanna help you. OK. Cos you've
been feeling a wee bit anxious.

Yes, very much so. Are you gonna
come down into the cold water?

Erm... You'll love it, I swear.

You'll hit me. You'll probably punch
me in the first 20 seconds,
but you'll love it.

Can I have a wee think and see
the craic? Cos it is winter.
Have a wee think.

I would really, really love you
to come down, though. OK.

And I think it'll just calm you.

CLOCK CHIMES

CLOCK CHIMES

I don't remember ever finding out
about Bloody Sunday.

I think it was just always something
that everybody knew about.

My grandpa marched in Bloody Sunday,
like a lot of people's families did.

My family knew some of the people
who were murdered.

It's sewn into who we are as people.

It's 50 years today
since Bloody Sunday

and preparations are underway
for the commemoration event.

I'm really, really nervous,
if I'm honest.

It's a huge thing, it's a huge deal
to be here and to be part of it,

and I'm just massively appreciative,
and just hope I do it justice
and do it well.

I'm also nervous that I'm sharing
the stage with Derry actress and
Hollywood star Bronagh Gallagher.

We have to remember
the line we come in.

I think it goes name, then lights,
they were saying last night,

so I'll say the name,
cues the light. Is that right?

Our role is to read out the names
of the people who died that day.

So it's like a wee five seconds
in between. Yeah. Yeah.
We can try it now.

As the audience take their seats,
I'm trying to focus
on what I have to do.

This is one of the most important
performances of my life.

Right.

Oh, my God! I'm shite-ing myself. I
just realised I have to go on stage.
I always do this,

like, walking out.

Until I have a drink of water,
and then just sort of panic. And be
like, "Oh! I have to go on stage!"

It's a technique, I suppose.

ALL: # Oh, Danny boy

# The pipes, the pipes are calling

# From glen to glen

# And down the mountain side

# The summer's gone

# And all the flowers are dying

# 'Tis you, 'tis you...

As Bronagh, Adrian Dunbar and I
wait in the wings,

the emotion of the singing
and the sombre atmosphere hits me.

APPLAUSE

I'm trying not to cry.
Just until I get through my bit,

because you don't want, like...

It was so hard to not let
your emotions run away with you
before I went on stage.

APPLAUSE

On that fateful day in 1972,

the world saw what happened.

The whole world knew
of the 14 innocents stolen away.

The absence of justice

and the depth of grief

are scarred
on the souls of the bereaved.

I think every family in Derry
has experienced trauma.

Everybody in the north has.
How could you not?

You talk about people who had lost
their lives, who were murdered,

and who died in such an awful way.

And to be able to remember that
and note it 50 years later,

I mean, it felt like you could've
heard a pin drop when we were
talking, which was amazing.

Kevin McElhinney.

Bernard McGuigan.

For all the victims of the conflict.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I was actually squeezing my hand
so I wouldn't cry, especially
when the music kicked in.

I feel like I've been
holding this in for ages.

It sort of just brings it all home,
doesn't it?

About what everybody in Derry
went through.

And there's a lot of good, as well,
obviously, to come from this, but...

aye, it's a lot. I knew this was
gonna happen at some point.

I'm so glad we did it. So am I.
And we didn't break down.

So hopefully I done everybody proud.
Hopefully.

Remembering the horror
of Bloody Sunday reminds me how
important it is to try and secure

a fair and peaceful future
for everyone in Derry.

But we're not quite there yet,
and I do sometimes wonder

has the violence
really gone away for good?

I've been discovering
just how much Derry's past

has influenced its people today,
myself included.

And I've learned there's no single
solution to the challenges we face,

but that it's good to be open
to new experiences.

This is gonna be a nightmare.
Or brilliant, one of the two.

So, it's January

and it's Ireland

and I'm not quite sure
how it's come about,

but I'm going for a swim.

I can't believe
I'm gonna go do this.

Oh, it's freezing.

I'm joining Serena and dozens of
locals for some cold-water swimming

to try and help my anxiety.

Everybody, are you ready
to get into the water?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Jamie-Lee, come on down with me.

Ladies, I want yous
to move over here.

Are yous ready? ALL: Yeah!

I've never done this before,
but now that I'm here,
there's no turning back.

I'm just glad Serena's there
to look after me in the water.

It's quite overwhelming.
It is. Quite emotional. It is.
But it's really, really class.

It just... It's like mindfulness.
It's forced mindfulness.

Cos the only thing
you can concentrate on
is the cold in your body.

It just feels well euphoric.
It does. Doesn't it?

It's all spiritual. It is. It is.
It's overwhelming, but it's class.

You've actually done it. Thank you.
It was so brilliant. I'm so glad
you invited me. Thank you.

I'm glad you did it. Well done.

I was really terrified
at the start.

It's kind of like there's literally
nothing else to think about.

And it's really, really, really hard
to empty your brain of thoughts
and worries.

I think I will do it again.
I do. I think I'll do it again.

Like lots of the people I met
on the beach today,

I'm working through
my own experiences.

Serena and her amazing community

are doing their bit to support
each other and stay positive.

And that's something
Derry is very good at.

But it's not always easy
because there can still be
outbreaks of violence here

that wouldn't be normal
in other parts of the UK.

In 2019, Belfast-born journalist
Lyra McKee was shot

while observing rioting in Derry.

She died later in hospital.

Obviously it was shocking
that somebody had died,

and obviously it was heartbreaking
and should never have happened.

The fact that there was unrest in
that part of Derry wasn't shocking,

in any part of Derry.
I'm sure people in Belfast
or whatever will tell you the same,

it's not that it's overly shocking.
There's still civil unrest here.
There just is.

Lyra was killed
on the Creggan estate,
not far from where I grew up.

Here tensions remain between
some of the residents and the place.

I've arranged to catch up with
Jordan, one of the girls I met
earlier in my old school,

to find out
what life's like here now.

Hey. What's the craic? Lovely to see
you. Good to see you again.

Out of your uniform.
I know. It's great.

How long have you lived in Creggan?
Oh, my whole life.

It's a real sense of community.
I used to hang around here when I
was younger. I grew up beside here.

I know Creggan well. A lot of my
family and friends are from there.

I hung around there, grew up there.

Had a couple of sneaky
alcoholic beverages there
when I was too young.

We used to hang around sort of
the youth clubs and stuff,
like St Mary's and stuff. Aye.

Do you still do that?
What's it like now for young people?

Erm, St Mary's actually got done up.
Oh, did it?
Aye. It's massive looking now.

They've put loads
of new equipment in it. Obviously,
you ran round here, as well.

I did. What was it
that you would have done?

I don't think
we can say it on camera.
THEY LAUGH

Obviously, like a lot of estates
in a lot of places,

there's some negative
as well as the positive. Yeah.

And obviously we know
what's happened with Lyra McKee.

Have you noticed,
from younger to now,
a difference in police presence?

Obviously,
there is a police presence,

but there's a police presence
everywhere you go in Derry. Mm.

It's never been, like, scary
or, like, extra violent,
except for obviously what happened.

If anything, I think it kind of
just brought the community
closer together. Right.

There was a vigil down there for her
and I think the whole of Creggan
had come out of their houses

and had come down and had stood
and had prayed for her.

Do you think that there's
a fair representation of Creggan
in the media at the moment?

I think sometimes Creggan
can get a wee bit of an unfair
viewpoint from some people.

It's not every single day
something like that happens.
That was really, really... random

and out of the blue,
and nothing like that
has ever happened in my lifetime.

You feel quite safe.

There's a plane. That's what it is.
Paps in Creggan.

I'm keen to know whether Jordan will
stay in Derry after her A-levels.

Both of us went to St Cecilia's,
which is school on Creggan,
I know there's more,

but I feel like the schools,
especially the girls schools
in Derry,

they really set women up
for hopefully a brighter future.

What do you see for your future?
What's the plans for Jordan?

I have applied to uni in Leeds
to do mental health and counselling,

cos I wanna go on to be
a rehabilitation counsellor

and come back and work in Derry.
Cos I feel like Derry needs it.

Just experience something else
and bring back all the experiences.
Aye. Definitely.

Obviously, you'll meet new friends
from different backgrounds
and different cultures.

Would you be keen to bring them
back to show them Derry?
Oh, 100 percent.

I'm proud of Derry. They're gonna be
told about all the great things.

They're gonna be told about
Halloween and St Patrick's Day

and about how Derry
has so many things to offer people.

Mad about it.
Right, thank you so much.

I couldn't agree more.
And with young women like Jordan

keen to make her city
a better place,

I feel like Derry's future
is looking bright.

ALL: Happy St Patrick's Day!

St Patrick's Day is a celebration
of Irish culture for everybody.

Everybody wants to celebrate it
and take part. It's all inclusive.

Hello! How are you?
Hi, Julie, what's the craic?

Of all the people
I've met during filming,

I'm most surprised to bump into
Julie from the flute band.

Because not all Protestants
celebrate Ireland's patron saint.

Love the green. Thank you. It's like
a stylish Paddy's Day, isn't it?

How are yous guys? We're very good.

While she's been in the town
on St Patrick's Day before,

this is the first time Julie
has been to watch the parade.

Just with the whole, the fact that
this is obviously tricolours,

does that bother you at all,
or is it something
that you're really happy about?

It doesn't bother me,
cos when we're at the 12th of July,
it's Union flags.

When you're down here,
it's tricolours everywhere.
It doesn't really matter to me.

In what way do you think Paddy's Day
compares to the 12th?
Or is it really similar?

You know, it's packed,
there's so many people about,
you get to interact with people,

it's so similar what they actually
are and what you do on the day.

It's just sort of
different sides of one coin.

It was genuinely lovely to see yous.
I hope you have a great day
and get your well-deserved pints.

Julie's positivity about our city
is infectious.

And on a day like today,
with the sun shining,

I'm proud to call myself
a Derry girl.

Mind you, I'm still working through
my own feelings

about growing up in this brilliant
but complicated wee place.

But I'm more convinced than ever
that there will be a bright future
for all of us.

I just feel like
Derry's gonna be booming.

I've got so much positive
expectations of Derry.

I think there does seem to be
this thing of people are realising

you don't always have to leave Derry
to become something.

And if you do, you can always
come back and bring it back.

And that the older you get,
again, from my own perspective,

the more I realise that the Derry
community is responsible, in a large
way, to who I am and my success.

But the fact that
we're able to get where we are
with the lack of resources,

can you imagine what we could do
if we were fully resourced?

Can you imagine what Derry people
could achieve?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media