Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:55,967
You told me you'd lived there
your whole life
4
00:00:56,733 --> 00:01:02,100
We'd been chatting on a dating application
and had agreed to meet at an opening
5
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,533
I'd already been thinking
about sleeping with you
6
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,733
I googled you and found out
you were born 30 years before me
7
00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:17,833
I'd had fantasies about older men
since I was a teenager
8
00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:19,967
And now, far from home,
9
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:24,467
I decided I was finally ready
to let myself fall in love with one
10
00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:31,133
It took me a moment to find you
even though you're tall
11
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,600
We kissed outside the gallery
12
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:39,567
It was awkward that first time
I'd had to stand on my tiptoes
13
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,267
I touched your chest
14
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,533
And you invited me to your place
15
00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:52,533
Your touch was electric
16
00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:55,867
Your hands on my back,
neck, thighs, ass
17
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,800
My lips around your tongue
18
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:03,800
My fingers in your soft, thick hair
Your eyes locked on mine
19
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:09,933
The whole night,
under me, around me, inside me
20
00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:17,833
You disappeared
and came back a few minutes later
21
00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:21,200
to slip a piece of cheese
into my eager mouth
22
00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:29,733
A few weeks later,
I stopped paying rent
23
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,000
and I moved in with you
24
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,233
One morning,
I was brushing my teeth
25
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:40,500
when you pointed out
the hair I have on my upper arms
26
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,467
I started shaving them
27
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:48,000
You told me to start exercising
since I'd only be this age once
28
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,300
I wondered which birthday'd
29
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,500
be the one where you'd decide
that I'd gotten too old for you
30
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,400
Now it's summer
31
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,400
You're traveling and so am I
32
00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:07,233
You made no promises
about seeing me again
33
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:11,733
But I can't stop thinking about you
34
00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:17,733
Once I got to Chicago,
I started thinking about a film
35
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:24,167
I wrote on my dating profile,
inviting men to an audition
36
00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:28,967
"Come to my studio and be on camera.
37
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,467
"You'll receive something in exchange.
38
00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:35,000
"It could be sex or something else."
39
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:42,367
The guys who came in
have agreed to act in a film with me
40
00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:45,333
They don't know what it'll be about
41
00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:47,567
And neither do I
42
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:53,067
Maybe I'm making it in spite of you
43
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,333
Or maybe it's for you
44
00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:10,433
What specifically is this for?
45
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,300
I'm a filmmaker...
46
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,733
So there's no specific purpose...
47
00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:22,000
It's just... I make films and...
48
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,200
I'll talk in a second...
49
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,867
- I have to concentrate.
- Okay.
50
00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,533
I'm just gonna frame this.
51
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:32,967
Okay.
52
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,233
Looks good. Great.
53
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:39,867
And I'm gonna check on this one.
54
00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:44,167
- Need to shift this over a bit.
- Cool.
55
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,300
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
56
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,000
Thanks for coming in.
57
00:04:58,267 --> 00:05:02,067
In terms of Grindr,
I've been on Grindr for a while.
58
00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,900
Met my husband on Grindr,
surprisingly.
59
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,100
'Cause it's not really where you...
60
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,867
It's changed over the years.
You see more people there
61
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,100
looking for a relationship.
But like, "Dude, it's Grindr."
62
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,633
But it can happen...
63
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,633
But that wasn't the purpose.
64
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,133
Recently I've shifted.
65
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:25,833
I've gotten older.
66
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,500
My libido's
not what it used to be,
67
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:33,300
so I'm not horny all the time,
like I was when I was your age,
68
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,267
when we didn't have Grindr.
69
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,433
So I actually am interested
in meeting people
70
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:43,133
just to talk
and meet new people.
71
00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:44,967
We've lost that
72
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:48,667
art of the cruise.
Walking around, eyeing a guy...
73
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,000
Brushing up against him,
74
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:54,667
in a discreet or not-so-discreet way.
75
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:56,833
Because we've got these apps.
76
00:05:57,033 --> 00:05:59,267
- You know Jackhammer?
- I don't.
77
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:01,800
It's a...
78
00:06:01,933 --> 00:06:03,867
bar. Like, just a bar.
79
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:07,600
Jackhammer has a basement.
They call it "The Hole."
80
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,867
Of course.
81
00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:12,933
It's raunchy,
exactly what you'd expect.
82
00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:16,467
Those are things
that I'd never experienced...
83
00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:19,900
And had always been
a little wary of.
84
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:22,233
So a friend of mine
85
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,000
was just like, "We've gotta go."
86
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:29,533
Had that friend
been to those places before?
87
00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:32,333
Oh yeah. That's like, his thing.
88
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:35,067
But it's interesting to see
89
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:41,033
just demeanors...
and seeing people change
90
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:44,967
as they come down through a room
and strip.
91
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:48,433
Like, seeing how
92
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:52,467
people kind of come alive
in those situations.
93
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:55,100
You wanna do this interview naked?
94
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,700
No.
95
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:00,833
I'm really like...
96
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:03,500
If you want to, we can.
97
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:06,033
That's all up to you.
98
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,733
If you want to, I'm more than...
99
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:10,800
I'm comfortable doing it.
100
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,400
Yeah, let's go for it.
101
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,200
- Now we're naked.
- Now we're naked.
102
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,800
- Have you done these like this before?
- No.
103
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,833
I did two on Tuesday,
104
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:37,133
and I've done three so far today.
105
00:07:37,633 --> 00:07:39,567
I've got one afterwards.
106
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,433
We've been clothed for each of them.
107
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:46,500
Is it awkward for you to be naked?
108
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:51,267
No.
There's a tension right now...
109
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,833
different than with the other ones.
110
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,667
What kind of tension
do you think?
111
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:01,367
Sorry, I keep staring.
112
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:04,767
It's like I wanna touch it,
but...
113
00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:11,133
like, "I don't know how he'd take that,
if I'm like, 'Can I touch it?'"
114
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,967
That's all up to you.
115
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,600
I think I'd feel uncomfortable.
116
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,833
- You from Chicago?
- Originally Alabama.
117
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,567
- What part?
- Small, little town...
118
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,167
In the southeast.
119
00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:30,933
I don't know.
I grew up in Atlanta.
120
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:34,800
It's like a 15-hour drive.
I do that if I take the dog.
121
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,867
You have a dog?
What kind?
122
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,300
English Bull, Boston Terrier mix.
123
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,467
- I love dogs.
- He's a big goofball.
124
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,900
- What's his name?
- Fatboy.
125
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:49,033
- He's still got his tail so it wags.
- A full tail? Nice!
126
00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:53,100
Let him keep his tail.
I haven't even neutered him.
127
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,933
He's five and a half.
128
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,567
Does that cause any problems?
Really?
129
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,933
He's a bit more aggressive than normal,
but nah.
130
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:07,233
- What part of town do you live in?
- Rogers Park.
131
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,000
- You?
- The West Loop.
132
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,167
It's like a 20-minute walk.
133
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,700
I just have
a small sublet, close...
134
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,233
Not far from...
135
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,300
So...
136
00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:22,533
You don't have to get dressed again,
137
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,933
but you might feel
uncomfortable going out with...
138
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,567
With a hard-on.
139
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:41,133
I've got someone coming in at nine.
140
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,467
Could you sit right here?
141
00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:56,567
And you're taller than...
142
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,767
The last guy, so I'm gonna...
143
00:09:58,867 --> 00:10:00,367
See... Actually...
144
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,233
That actually works.
145
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:04,233
Yeah... 6'4".
146
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:08,767
Yeah, that works.
147
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:20,800
Do you have anything
you're itching to ask, to say?
148
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,767
You don't have to say anything.
149
00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:25,967
That's why we have the hanky code
150
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:29,300
- in the leather community.
- I'm not familiar.
151
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,967
That's a whole other conversation.
I can teach you!
152
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:37,567
- There's a leather convention in Chicago?
- You missed it.
153
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:42,933
I stayed with four pups,
men who wear dog masks with tails as dildos
154
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:46,867
and tails.
They walk around in chains often.
155
00:10:46,967 --> 00:10:49,100
Do they speak, if they're pups?
156
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,500
The pups? Yes and no.
I mean, they "ruff" a lot.
157
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,300
Someone asked me,
"How could you ever be a pup?"
158
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:00,133
I said, "I'm not a pup,
but that you maybe would never
159
00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:06,033
"have to make a decision for yourself
is maybe sorta refreshing."
160
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:09,000
Like, you'd never
have to make a decision:
161
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,200
"I need to go pee."
"Okay, go pee."
162
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,800
"I'm hungry."
"Okay, there's food."
163
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,733
Everything is done for you.
164
00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:22,033
That's sort of euphoric and sounds like
you're just a lazy bastard,
165
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:23,833
but no, think about that:
166
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,700
- You're taken care of.
- I can see that.
167
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,300
It's sort of amazing.
168
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:32,467
I've been into scruffy white guys.
169
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:35,333
My Scruff was just my Scruff.
It has...
170
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,333
A really adorable, like:
171
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:43,800
"Student getting his MFA, just moved here.
Be different from the guy beside you.
172
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:47,500
"I'm cerebral and smiley."
All these things, right?
173
00:11:48,033 --> 00:11:50,267
I'd have a shirtless photo
174
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:54,667
with a goofy-ass hat on.
I'd have my thumbs up, and it's great.
175
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:58,333
But it didn't stop statements like,
"Come rape me."
176
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:04,167
Or "I'd like you to come over
but you might scare the kids." Or, like...
177
00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:07,367
"Give me that nigga dick now"
from white people.
178
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:10,967
So I changed my profile:
"Stop asking me to rape you
179
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:15,433
"and offering money to sleep with you."
The comments stopped.
180
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:21,200
People know it's bad. They see it
and they're like, "It's horrible."
181
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:22,800
But what do you do?
182
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:27,400
As an artist, I can't just blow 'em up
and put 'em in a gallery.
183
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:31,800
You have to make work about it.
You have to fix it for yourself.
184
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:37,433
As an artist, you have to make work about
something so tense to you.
185
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,533
I would like to...
186
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,467
Make a film...
187
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:46,600
Based on this conversation.
A piece of fiction I'll write...
188
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,400
based on our transcript.
189
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:53,667
I'll contact you about when to shoot that,
if you're willing...
190
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:55,400
Okay. Sure. Okay.
191
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,467
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
192
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:05,367
I don't know how to turn this off.
193
00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:08,167
- I wish I knew how to use this.
- Here.
194
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,567
I just stopped recording.
To turn it off...
195
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,233
- Do you care about learning?
- Teach!
196
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,833
This toggle.
Switch it to the middle.
197
00:13:17,867 --> 00:13:21,300
Have fun with this project.
Don't try to define it.
198
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,167
- Let it define yourself.
- Don't let it?
199
00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:28,067
No, let it define itself.
Don't try to define it.
200
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,033
Could you put that on right here.
201
00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:08,433
String it through
wherever's convenient.
202
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,567
When's the last time you came?
203
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,167
This morning.
204
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,167
You want me to come?
205
00:14:19,533 --> 00:14:23,433
If that happens,
it'd be worth it to stay together.
206
00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,033
Is that the line?
207
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:27,900
"If that happens, it's worth it..."
208
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,767
All right. One more time?
209
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:36,867
Closer than that?
210
00:14:36,967 --> 00:14:38,533
Let's do one like that.
211
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,900
Want me to move up and down
as well?
212
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,933
- No.
- No? Just faces.
213
00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:05,067
When was the last time you came?
214
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:10,067
I think Saturday.
215
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:15,133
It's been a lot longer than Saturday
for me.
216
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,467
You wanna get naked?
217
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,700
You like that?
218
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,400
- I'm sorta scared.
- Why?
219
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,367
I dunno.
220
00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:59,033
- Want me to do anything else?
- No.
221
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:00,867
I wanna suck it.
222
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,800
I think I'm done. Yeah.
223
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:08,133
Finish this beer.
224
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:17,033
Are you gonna have yourself
be in all your films?
225
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,933
- I dunno.
- Okay. Just wondering.
226
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:22,533
It seems...
227
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,333
I won't say odd.
228
00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:29,533
It is unusual. Part of it is...
229
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,667
Even as an artist, I am fairly private.
230
00:17:34,367 --> 00:17:38,533
I would hate for anyone
to see me in a film like that.
231
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:42,067
But I think...
you can also consider, like...
232
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,567
"I am an actor."
233
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,933
- That what?
- I am an actor.
234
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:58,000
But I also think the minute that...
235
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:01,067
You're there and using your name,
236
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,833
everybody's gonna read everything
as autobiographical,
237
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:06,933
'cause people do that anyway,
238
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:10,600
even if you had a different character
and an actor...
239
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:13,100
and named the person Bob.
240
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:15,567
You're backing out, but...
241
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,833
I'm not backing out
because I was never in!
242
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:21,833
I don't know if you understand...
243
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,567
How absolutely...
244
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,600
Skin-crawly the whole thing
245
00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:29,800
makes me feel.
246
00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:40,733
Anyway...
247
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:44,767
Regardless of what we talk about,
I enjoy talking to you.
248
00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,767
I love you, Mom.
249
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,667
Although now I feel suspicious
every time you say it.
250
00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:00,367
You're just saying that
to get on my good side!
251
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:06,833
- But I do love you.
- I love you, Mom.
252
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,467
- Bye bye.
- Talk to you soon.
253
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,600
- What do you do?
- I'm an artist.
254
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,200
What kind of artist?
255
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:42,367
Visual artist.
256
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:46,533
- Are you being evasive?
- You think so?
257
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,667
You're giving me
almost monosyllabic answers.
258
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:54,367
- What do you wanna know?
- What kind of artist are you?
259
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:56,967
I'm an artist! I make artwork.
260
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,800
Wow, that face.
261
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,633
I make photography.
262
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,700
You gonna tell me
what your art's about?
263
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:11,500
My art deals with visibility.
264
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,667
Visibility of what?
265
00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:19,567
People.
266
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,000
All people?
267
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:26,167
Very specific types of people.
268
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,067
All right.
269
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:32,300
I think it's all people, really,
270
00:20:32,433 --> 00:20:36,467
but specifically the way
certain types of people are seen...
271
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:39,467
Or certain people
have the right to see.
272
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,267
Who's texting?
273
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,200
Some dude.
274
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:48,967
Yeah?
275
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,300
I'd like to see your photos.
276
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,833
Maybe I'll take you
to my place sometime.
277
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,333
Not bad.
278
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:19,467
Could you get undressed for me?
279
00:21:20,167 --> 00:21:21,667
Boxers, too.
280
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:26,967
Stop.
281
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:31,967
Bow head first.
282
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,900
Down.
283
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,667
Perfect.
284
00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:50,067
Can you get erect?
285
00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:00,933
I don't think I can get hard.
286
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:07,833
- A different pose would help.
- Okay.
287
00:22:07,933 --> 00:22:09,433
Put these on.
288
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,400
Stop.
289
00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:28,267
Keep going.
290
00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,867
Stop.
291
00:22:43,233 --> 00:22:46,400
What do you think you'll gain
by not listening?
292
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:48,000
I'm not listening?
293
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:51,000
You kept going. I said stop.
294
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,133
There must be miscommunication.
295
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,200
You look great.
296
00:23:10,467 --> 00:23:11,967
Okay, try again.
297
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:23,633
I don't think I can get hard.
298
00:23:26,933 --> 00:23:28,633
I'm done shooting.
299
00:23:30,733 --> 00:23:32,233
I'm sorry.
300
00:23:38,267 --> 00:23:40,300
Doesn't really matter anyway.
301
00:24:17,933 --> 00:24:19,433
Where are you going?
302
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:22,800
Does it matter?
303
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:25,633
Why are you...? What...?
304
00:24:48,967 --> 00:24:51,167
I'm gonna go get some coffee.
305
00:25:22,367 --> 00:25:25,067
We had dinner with your ex in the spring
306
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:30,667
You went to the bathroom
and he asked how we'd met
307
00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:32,533
Online, I answered
308
00:25:33,433 --> 00:25:36,667
He said you were an inveterate flirt,
309
00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:39,667
you were unreliable, lascivious, unfaithful
310
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,533
you'd fuck anything that moved,
311
00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:44,667
you'd never change
312
00:25:47,733 --> 00:25:49,567
I believed that you could,
313
00:25:49,667 --> 00:25:51,567
that you would, for me
314
00:25:54,067 --> 00:25:56,767
You came back
and picked up the check
315
00:25:57,267 --> 00:25:59,833
We kissed your ex goodbye
on the cheek
316
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,400
but I couldn't look him in the eye
317
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,700
Later that night,
I told you I loved you
318
00:26:09,433 --> 00:26:13,467
I didn't know how you'd react,
I sort of mumbled it
319
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,167
You looked uncomfortable
320
00:26:16,267 --> 00:26:19,200
I felt ashamed and we fell asleep
321
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,100
In the middle of the night
we had sex, fast
322
00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:29,733
You didn't look me in the eye,
323
00:26:30,167 --> 00:26:31,933
restrained my hands,
324
00:26:32,167 --> 00:26:34,067
turned my body away from you
325
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,000
I felt your affection again
when we fell back asleep
326
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:42,933
Your heart under my ear
327
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,633
I tried to match our breathing
but yours was too fast
328
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,167
Goose Island or a Sweetwater?
329
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,800
We can drink whatever.
I don't care.
330
00:27:02,967 --> 00:27:06,333
I can chug beer,
but I can't chug wine.
331
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,167
Tried that once...
332
00:27:08,533 --> 00:27:10,100
Not a good ending.
333
00:27:26,233 --> 00:27:28,567
The most interesting thing is...
334
00:27:28,667 --> 00:27:30,167
This was the shirt...
335
00:27:30,267 --> 00:27:32,133
I came home from Iraq in.
336
00:27:34,733 --> 00:27:36,233
One, two, three...
337
00:27:44,300 --> 00:27:45,800
Someone's in the navy.
338
00:27:46,267 --> 00:27:50,733
The pictures in there?
That's of my classes that I taught at.
339
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,100
The first class...
340
00:27:54,133 --> 00:27:56,433
Where we're all wearing the blues...
341
00:27:56,533 --> 00:27:58,567
They're prior students,
342
00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:01,933
doing both mounted
and unmounted patrols...
343
00:28:03,233 --> 00:28:04,767
When you were in...
344
00:28:05,933 --> 00:28:08,700
- Iraq, you were a corpsman?
- Yeah.
345
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,067
Are you gonna be mad
if we don't...
346
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,100
No.
347
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:24,100
I'm just gonna kiss you.
348
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,700
Just reciprocate if you want.
349
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,333
What?
350
00:28:33,933 --> 00:28:35,667
Would you sing for me?
351
00:28:37,833 --> 00:28:39,633
If you get naked for me.
352
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:47,000
From the moment that we had
353
00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:52,267
So way down in my mind
where you belong
354
00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:59,500
I'd go hungry,
I'd go blind for you
355
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,500
I'd go crawling down the avenue
356
00:29:07,633 --> 00:29:12,167
Make you happy,
make your dreams come true
357
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,667
To make you feel my...
358
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:20,800
love
359
00:29:31,733 --> 00:29:35,067
I'd also say that
unless it's an ironic title,
360
00:29:35,167 --> 00:29:38,333
I don't think
it has anything to do about love.
361
00:29:38,433 --> 00:29:40,933
What do you think
it has to do with?
362
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:58,067
It's just a series of encounters
that don't have much meaning.
363
00:29:58,933 --> 00:30:01,167
Which I think you could say
364
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:04,267
is part of the way
that I'm looking at love.
365
00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:06,133
I don't think that's love.
366
00:30:06,233 --> 00:30:09,367
It's so sad it almost makes me cry.
367
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,633
It's like, you don't wanna know details
368
00:30:12,733 --> 00:30:15,367
about your parents' sexual life
369
00:30:15,467 --> 00:30:19,967
and you don't wanna know details
about your children's sexual life.
370
00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:23,633
But I would go even further:
371
00:30:23,733 --> 00:30:27,967
Basically, I don't wanna know
details of anybody's sexual life.
372
00:30:28,067 --> 00:30:32,067
I consider it the least
interesting part of anybody's life.
373
00:31:48,733 --> 00:31:50,233
Good morning.
374
00:31:53,467 --> 00:31:54,967
He woke me up.
375
00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:57,033
Did you wake him up, Fatboy?
376
00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:06,467
Let's put him up.
If not, he won't leave us alone.
377
00:32:06,567 --> 00:32:08,067
Say: "I'm a jealous...
378
00:32:08,167 --> 00:32:10,533
"jealous widdle puppy.
Yes, I am."
379
00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:26,400
How'd you sleep last night?
380
00:32:26,867 --> 00:32:28,367
Pretty well.
381
00:32:36,733 --> 00:32:38,800
I know you lied to me.
382
00:32:50,433 --> 00:32:51,933
What?
383
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,567
Are you dating someone just now?
384
00:33:00,667 --> 00:33:02,767
You were dating someone, right?
385
00:33:03,833 --> 00:33:08,000
- You guys were in a semi-pseudo-relationship?
- Yeah.
386
00:33:08,467 --> 00:33:12,300
It's complicated.
We're very rarely in the same place.
387
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,300
He's in Mexico City.
388
00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:25,900
Are you in a relationship?
389
00:33:26,567 --> 00:33:28,333
Nuh uh. I was and then...
390
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,900
Then it ended.
391
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,433
It was a week before I'd leave
for Chicago
392
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,700
You were downstairs making breakfast
393
00:33:47,867 --> 00:33:49,367
A Sunday morning
394
00:33:52,333 --> 00:33:54,833
Your phone was on the counter
395
00:33:54,933 --> 00:33:58,300
It was still buzzing
when I got out of the shower
396
00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:02,133
I picked it up and saw messages
397
00:34:02,233 --> 00:34:05,533
from someone begging
to have sex with you again
398
00:34:06,167 --> 00:34:09,267
You'd been texting at dinner
the night before
399
00:34:09,367 --> 00:34:11,200
with fire in your eyes
400
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,833
You hadn't looked at me like that
in a while
401
00:34:15,933 --> 00:34:19,967
And it hurt to remember
when it had been for me
402
00:34:23,033 --> 00:34:26,667
I came downstairs in my underwear,
gave you your phone
403
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,467
You said it'd just been a fling
404
00:34:31,567 --> 00:34:35,667
You could barely remember him,
you'd just been playing around
405
00:34:35,767 --> 00:34:37,533
There was no emotion in it
406
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:44,667
Your throat had tightened,
your voice was soft
407
00:34:47,133 --> 00:34:50,367
You were kinder
than I'd ever seen you
408
00:34:52,567 --> 00:34:55,467
You said you'd ended
your last relationship
409
00:34:55,567 --> 00:34:58,267
because your ex
had been cheating on you
410
00:34:59,333 --> 00:35:00,833
A week later
411
00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:05,300
you told me you'd cheated
on your ex before that for about a year
412
00:35:05,967 --> 00:35:09,333
That's when I started seeing other men
413
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:41,367
So our agreement is:
I don't bring anybody back to the house.
414
00:35:42,433 --> 00:35:45,567
I don't take away time
when my husband's home,
415
00:35:45,667 --> 00:35:48,633
'cause he's gone
from Monday to Thursday,
416
00:35:48,733 --> 00:35:52,600
so I don't fuck around
on Friday to Sunday.
417
00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:54,433
But there are times...
418
00:35:54,633 --> 00:35:56,133
It'd be nice to have...
419
00:35:56,933 --> 00:35:58,433
A friend...
420
00:35:59,367 --> 00:36:02,367
A friend with benefits also,
sometimes...
421
00:36:02,467 --> 00:36:05,900
That's something
I'm having to work out in my head:
422
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,667
"If we're friends and we're fucking...
423
00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:11,700
"How's that not an affair?"
424
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,167
The way I was thinking about it is:
425
00:36:14,267 --> 00:36:17,467
If the intention...
And intention does matter...
426
00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:20,933
If the intention is:
We're just gonna be friends
427
00:36:21,033 --> 00:36:25,000
who, once in a while,
suck each others' dicks, that's fine.
428
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,167
It was a surprise
seeing you the first time.
429
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,300
- Where'd it go?
- "Is that a good or bad thing?"
430
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,133
I'm not sure
that's a good or bad thing.
431
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:43,667
You were the first guy
to whom I was attracted sexually.
432
00:36:43,767 --> 00:36:46,167
Is that the "suck the dick" line?
433
00:36:46,567 --> 00:36:48,067
I'm sorry...
434
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,900
"We can be...
435
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,567
- "Friends who, once in a while, suck..."
- Yeah, I know what it is.
436
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:07,600
I need to look at you two
and get over the embarrassment
437
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:10,667
of saying it
with straight boys in the room.
438
00:37:10,767 --> 00:37:13,933
"We're just..."
I can't say it in front of 'em!
439
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:19,067
"We're just gonna be friends who
once in a while suck each other's dicks."
440
00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:25,867
Since Thursday...
441
00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:28,067
I've thought about you a lot.
442
00:37:29,233 --> 00:37:33,033
It began for me
when I got your script,
443
00:37:34,267 --> 00:37:36,367
and then you had that line...
444
00:37:37,667 --> 00:37:42,467
"You were the first guy who came in
to whom I was attracted sexually."
445
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,033
And I thought, "Well...
446
00:37:44,133 --> 00:37:47,067
"So there was a mutual attraction."
447
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:49,867
I'm a little confused...
448
00:37:49,967 --> 00:37:52,733
I haven't felt this way
in a long time...
449
00:37:52,833 --> 00:37:54,333
I mean, a long time...
450
00:37:54,433 --> 00:37:58,000
Since-I-was-your-age long time.
So it's been a while.
451
00:37:58,167 --> 00:37:59,833
I love my husband a lot...
452
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,033
We have a great life together,
453
00:38:03,133 --> 00:38:05,267
and what I'm feeling for you...
454
00:38:05,433 --> 00:38:08,133
I don't know
that I want to have sex,
455
00:38:08,233 --> 00:38:10,133
but I do want to know you.
456
00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,167
Does that make sense?
457
00:38:14,533 --> 00:38:16,433
Yeah. I mean, it's mutual...
458
00:38:16,533 --> 00:38:20,533
That's a lie.
I do wanna have sex with you.
459
00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:59,200
What we're doing here...
What I'm doing here...
460
00:38:59,433 --> 00:39:01,633
is such a betrayal.
461
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,733
How often do you come out here?
462
00:39:14,233 --> 00:39:17,333
I try at least once a month,
sometimes twice.
463
00:39:19,700 --> 00:39:21,333
To get it ready to sell,
464
00:39:21,433 --> 00:39:26,533
I'm painting the outside,
though it needed it regardless.
465
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,500
Just trying to get it sold,
466
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,100
get rid of it.
467
00:39:52,133 --> 00:39:54,433
What made you wanna
come out here...
468
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:56,333
With me?
469
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,900
Do you ever
let your beard grow out?
470
00:40:34,267 --> 00:40:35,767
Yes,
471
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:38,267
but...
472
00:40:39,433 --> 00:40:42,567
Iast time I did,
there was a lotta gray in it.
473
00:41:19,333 --> 00:41:21,833
You haven't texted in weeks
474
00:41:24,267 --> 00:41:28,100
I call you and explain
what I've been doing in Chicago:
475
00:41:29,767 --> 00:41:32,133
I chatted online with 900 men,
476
00:41:32,667 --> 00:41:34,133
met 12 in person,
477
00:41:35,167 --> 00:41:37,433
and am filming with a few of them
478
00:41:39,167 --> 00:41:41,733
Some of them
want to have sex with me
479
00:41:42,567 --> 00:41:46,400
I thought it'd feel good
to give them what they want
480
00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:49,533
But I still can't sleep,
I'm not eating
481
00:41:49,667 --> 00:41:52,300
I don't feel right
about what I'm doing
482
00:41:54,033 --> 00:41:55,533
I stop talking
483
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,100
You seem distracted
484
00:42:01,267 --> 00:42:04,967
It looks like you're answering emails,
you keep typing
485
00:42:08,533 --> 00:42:10,967
You tell me I'm crazy and laugh
486
00:42:12,867 --> 00:42:14,833
I want your attention
487
00:42:16,667 --> 00:42:19,300
I want you to tell me to stop
488
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,033
So, my husband...
489
00:42:29,033 --> 00:42:30,533
He'll be...
490
00:42:31,267 --> 00:42:33,300
Back in a few minutes...
491
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,500
Do I need to leave?
492
00:42:48,100 --> 00:42:49,667
Not in the apartment.
493
00:42:49,767 --> 00:42:51,467
- Okay.
- Okay.
494
00:42:55,333 --> 00:42:56,833
For you...
495
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,700
To be honest...
496
00:43:07,967 --> 00:43:10,533
To be really, bluntly honest...
497
00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:14,967
This is just like completely narcissistic,
you know...
498
00:43:15,167 --> 00:43:17,600
"These are the guys I went out with...
499
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:20,200
"And aren't I special?"
You know?
500
00:43:20,433 --> 00:43:24,467
'Cause in the film,
you're a monster, really!
501
00:43:25,467 --> 00:43:29,567
There's a real sense of you
using people when you make films.
502
00:43:29,667 --> 00:43:33,200
Why not just write a script
and hire actors?
503
00:43:33,367 --> 00:43:36,533
That's not a real normal thing
to do in life.
504
00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:40,333
It's like, "My personal life's
of great interest to me
505
00:43:40,433 --> 00:43:43,267
"so it must be
to everybody else,
506
00:43:43,367 --> 00:43:46,267
"so here it is."
It's almost like a comedy.
507
00:43:46,367 --> 00:43:48,267
For me, it is a comedy.
508
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,000
- Huh?
- It is a comedy.
509
00:43:51,433 --> 00:43:53,833
I'm not sure people will get it.
510
00:43:54,867 --> 00:43:57,067
So, you remember Miranda?
511
00:43:58,233 --> 00:44:00,100
So Miranda had an uncle,
512
00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:02,933
who...
513
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:07,033
I think he died of AIDS
514
00:44:07,133 --> 00:44:11,267
just before she was born,
and he was gonna be her godfather.
515
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:15,300
He gave her a stuffed animal,
I think,
516
00:44:15,733 --> 00:44:17,833
and wrote her a letter...
517
00:44:21,667 --> 00:44:23,400
Basically saying that he...
518
00:44:23,867 --> 00:44:26,433
He loved her without knowing her,
519
00:44:27,067 --> 00:44:28,900
before she was born,
520
00:44:33,367 --> 00:44:37,200
I think there's something of that when...
521
00:44:38,367 --> 00:44:40,300
you kind of blindly...
522
00:44:43,267 --> 00:44:46,833
Want to put together something
that can be meaningful
523
00:44:46,933 --> 00:44:48,767
for people you don't know.
524
00:44:49,633 --> 00:44:53,167
You're supremely aware of
what image making is.
525
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:54,800
Yeah.
526
00:44:54,933 --> 00:44:56,533
And how it can be...
527
00:44:58,700 --> 00:45:01,667
A betrayal,
but how it can also be...
528
00:45:01,967 --> 00:45:03,467
A gift.
529
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,700
A gift to whom?
530
00:45:18,733 --> 00:45:20,867
I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
531
00:45:25,433 --> 00:45:27,200
I was not performative...
532
00:45:28,067 --> 00:45:29,567
Sexually.
533
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,867
I really wish
that I had been into it
534
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,633
'cause I really like you.
I wish there was a possibility on my end.
535
00:45:37,733 --> 00:45:41,033
Something fucked up about me
prevented that.
536
00:45:41,133 --> 00:45:43,167
What do you think it was?
537
00:45:50,967 --> 00:45:53,733
I think it's 'cause you're young.
538
00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:57,500
I'm intimidated by people who are...
539
00:45:57,900 --> 00:46:00,200
My age, sexually. Not like...
540
00:46:00,300 --> 00:46:01,900
In terms of friendship.
541
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:03,600
Interesting.
542
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,700
As much as I want that,
543
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,400
my body's not doing that.
544
00:46:14,533 --> 00:46:17,433
- Okay.
- Have you thought about that?
545
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,700
Why you'd be intimidated by someone
who's more your age than...
546
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:26,100
Someone who's less your age...
or more than your age.
547
00:46:30,267 --> 00:46:34,833
This guy's in for a good night.
I sleep older, too. It's great.
548
00:46:40,267 --> 00:46:44,300
I'd love to hear
why you're attracted to him.
549
00:46:46,367 --> 00:46:49,400
- You're thinking too long.
- Am I?
550
00:46:53,067 --> 00:46:55,767
You said to me,
when we first met:
551
00:46:55,867 --> 00:46:59,900
"I try not to have expectations..."
I have granola in my hair.
552
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,733
"...because expectations create frustration
553
00:47:03,833 --> 00:47:05,933
"and lead to disappointment."
554
00:47:06,033 --> 00:47:10,667
Which struck me as wise.
I was like, "Wow! You're really wise."
555
00:47:10,767 --> 00:47:12,667
And then you came out with
556
00:47:12,767 --> 00:47:15,933
- all these expectations.
- Okay, good.
557
00:47:16,033 --> 00:47:20,400
I disappointed you, and I'm confused
about what's between us now.
558
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,300
What was it that you wanted?
559
00:47:26,767 --> 00:47:28,267
I wanted him!
560
00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:36,400
I think you being explicit about it
made me not want it.
561
00:47:38,633 --> 00:47:40,633
Maybe that was fair, I mean...
562
00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:45,167
Just 'cause I want it
doesn't mean you want it.
563
00:47:45,267 --> 00:47:48,233
I'm curious
why you wanna work this out now.
564
00:47:48,333 --> 00:47:49,833
If you didn't want it...
565
00:47:50,167 --> 00:47:51,867
I didn't force it on you,
566
00:47:51,967 --> 00:47:56,000
like you didn't force us to be here.
Why...what is this?
567
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,900
Part of the truth
in his being obtuse is...
568
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,900
in the artist's mind:
569
00:48:07,067 --> 00:48:10,100
You make something
and figure it out later.
570
00:48:12,733 --> 00:48:14,233
You... I think...
571
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,633
like the idea of not having...
572
00:48:20,867 --> 00:48:22,367
A script.
573
00:48:22,467 --> 00:48:26,200
You create scripts,
but you like not having a script...
574
00:48:26,300 --> 00:48:27,800
There is this...
575
00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:32,533
artistic persona
that I find bothersome:
576
00:48:34,267 --> 00:48:37,267
that finding meaning after the fact.
577
00:48:38,267 --> 00:48:42,867
There might be meaning after,
but there had to be some impetus.
578
00:48:43,367 --> 00:48:46,000
We don't do things without impetus.
579
00:49:26,567 --> 00:49:31,433
As soon as I'm alone again,
you creep back into my thoughts
580
00:49:36,167 --> 00:49:38,767
I ask you to visit me in Chicago
581
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:41,567
You come for a few days,
582
00:49:42,133 --> 00:49:43,633
book us a hotel
583
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,700
I'm excited to see you again
584
00:49:48,367 --> 00:49:50,700
but you're texting the whole time
585
00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:55,800
We get to the room, though,
and it all comes back
586
00:49:57,500 --> 00:49:59,367
I can't control myself
587
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,300
I need you
588
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,500
I'll do anything for you
589
00:50:08,133 --> 00:50:12,900
The morning you're flying back,
I wake up and see you on your phone
590
00:50:14,567 --> 00:50:18,767
You're making plans to see sometime
in Mexico after you land:
591
00:50:19,633 --> 00:50:22,400
"I can't wait to taste you again"
592
00:50:25,467 --> 00:50:27,033
You go to shower
593
00:50:27,133 --> 00:50:29,900
and I read other messages
you've written:
594
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:34,033
"I can't stop thinking about you"
"Stay the night"
595
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,600
"I'll make you breakfast tomorrow"
596
00:50:40,367 --> 00:50:44,267
I copy your message thread
and email it to myself
597
00:50:45,833 --> 00:50:47,333
You kiss me,
598
00:50:47,833 --> 00:50:49,333
leave the hotel room,
599
00:50:49,867 --> 00:50:51,367
and fly back to Mexico
600
00:50:54,500 --> 00:50:56,867
I read your messages over and over,
601
00:50:58,300 --> 00:51:01,667
my face tightening so hard I can't cry
602
00:51:28,967 --> 00:51:30,467
Thank you.
603
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,433
- It's the boy. Wanna talk to him?
- What?
604
00:51:41,533 --> 00:51:44,300
It's the child,
if you wanna talk to him.
605
00:51:45,133 --> 00:51:46,633
Oh, okay.
606
00:51:47,767 --> 00:51:51,467
- Too busy to talk?
- No, not at all.
607
00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:54,567
- Here she is.
- Thanks, Dad.
608
00:51:56,567 --> 00:51:58,933
- Hola?
- Hey Mom. How's it going?
609
00:51:59,967 --> 00:52:02,333
- Okay. You?
- I'm doing all right.
610
00:52:03,467 --> 00:52:04,967
It's hot.
611
00:52:05,367 --> 00:52:08,000
Do you remember the guy
who is married?
612
00:52:09,733 --> 00:52:11,900
- No.
- Okay. Well, in the film.
613
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,967
- Not really.
- Okay. Well, he sent me...
614
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,700
yesterday...
615
00:52:23,700 --> 00:52:25,400
Basically, anyway...
616
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:27,767
He sent me this message yesterday
617
00:52:27,867 --> 00:52:29,367
that was...
618
00:52:31,333 --> 00:52:32,833
Really...
619
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,600
Bizarre but also maybe...
it felt calculated...
620
00:52:39,233 --> 00:52:40,733
It was:
621
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:45,667
"I don't have time for your
project anymore. Good luck...
622
00:52:45,767 --> 00:52:51,333
"I was only in it to fuck you again. That's
not happening. My interest's dried up."
623
00:52:54,700 --> 00:52:56,200
Which...
624
00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:00,833
I think...
625
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:06,133
I don't know.
I'm still thinking about it.
626
00:53:09,567 --> 00:53:14,600
I guess it's only to be expected
when trying to use real people.
627
00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:17,467
Real people do unexpected things.
628
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,833
Whether you're on camera,
off camera,
629
00:54:01,267 --> 00:54:02,767
there's always...
630
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,076
a certain level of manipulation
in any type of...
631
00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:09,200
relationship, regardless,
632
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:10,800
whether it be...
633
00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:13,767
intentional, non-intentional...
634
00:54:13,867 --> 00:54:15,533
Or just to protect.
635
00:54:16,733 --> 00:54:19,200
'Cause it's funny, it's like...
636
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,633
I don't care if I get naked
in front of anybody.
637
00:54:23,733 --> 00:54:26,567
I don't care.
Does not bother me one bit.
638
00:54:26,667 --> 00:54:29,667
But I won't put myself out there
that much.
639
00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:31,367
'Cause when you kinda...
640
00:54:31,467 --> 00:54:33,633
Throw it all on the table,
641
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,433
sometimes people get burned.
642
00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:45,067
There is something there
between the two of us.
643
00:54:45,167 --> 00:54:48,667
Definitely sexual tension,
from almost the moment...
644
00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:54,233
But there is some attraction
between us.
645
00:54:55,433 --> 00:54:57,333
Where that's at, not sure.
646
00:54:57,433 --> 00:55:00,400
If it's just curiosity or what it is,
but...
647
00:55:00,500 --> 00:55:03,333
There is something more than
just sex.
648
00:55:03,433 --> 00:55:08,000
- Does that feel like it's key for you?
- No, not really, but...
649
00:55:08,167 --> 00:55:10,433
it's the icing on the cake.
650
00:55:13,167 --> 00:55:15,467
If it doesn't happen...
651
00:55:15,567 --> 00:55:19,200
It's not gonna be like,
"Don't talk to me ever again."
652
00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:20,800
But if it does,
653
00:55:22,967 --> 00:55:25,667
the more the merrier,
so to speak.
654
00:55:27,500 --> 00:55:29,167
You've been here for...
655
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,667
about 30 minutes and we still...
656
00:55:31,767 --> 00:55:34,100
We still both have our clothes on.
657
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:36,900
It's a record!
658
00:55:48,967 --> 00:55:50,467
Fatboy!
659
00:56:04,900 --> 00:56:06,400
No, Fatboy!
660
00:56:31,033 --> 00:56:32,500
I see a bit of it.
661
00:56:32,900 --> 00:56:36,600
Then I've got one
where I almost cut off my knuckle.
662
00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:38,267
Which knuckle was that?
663
00:56:38,933 --> 00:56:40,433
Oh, here also?
664
00:56:40,533 --> 00:56:44,067
Opening beer bottles
when I used to bartend.
665
00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:46,267
I fell directly on my chin.
666
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,833
And it was cold, so I didn't notice.
667
00:56:50,700 --> 00:56:53,033
Either my parents or my friends...
668
00:56:53,667 --> 00:56:55,167
Said:
669
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,500
"Are you hurt?"
670
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:02,500
Behind me,
I'd left a stream of blood on the ice.
671
00:57:03,533 --> 00:57:07,400
Me and my brother were sword-fighting.
He smacked me.
672
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:10,867
I needed stitches
but didn't have any money
673
00:57:10,967 --> 00:57:13,033
so we just cleaned it out.
674
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:18,200
We were playing in the barn.
I slipped off the hay bale,
675
00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:21,100
and a piece of wood
went into my leg.
676
00:57:24,767 --> 00:57:28,333
- How'd you pull it out?
- We just pulled it out.
677
00:57:28,433 --> 00:57:32,200
My mom had to cut it
to get all the wood out.
678
00:57:41,933 --> 00:57:44,567
So are you going back?
I didn't know.
679
00:57:45,967 --> 00:57:47,600
I'm leaving on Saturday.
680
00:58:33,100 --> 00:58:36,267
- That's the charm of it for me.
- I feel that.
681
00:58:36,967 --> 00:58:39,067
You get to see different parts.
682
00:58:40,433 --> 00:58:43,733
Tonight, I've been to Elmwood Park.
683
00:58:44,133 --> 00:58:46,767
I don't know.
I'm not from Chicago.
684
00:58:46,867 --> 00:58:48,367
Basically, it's...
685
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:54,467
north and west of the city,
right on the border.
686
00:59:41,267 --> 00:59:43,667
Somebody tried to put it in me.
687
00:59:50,067 --> 00:59:51,700
It's like that...
688
00:59:52,933 --> 00:59:55,433
quiet... intense lurking...
689
00:59:58,033 --> 01:00:00,267
Somebody's over there behind you.
690
01:00:00,967 --> 01:00:03,900
Somebody's off in the shadows...
691
01:00:08,133 --> 01:00:12,400
It's interesting how hard it is
to be invisible.
692
01:00:36,100 --> 01:00:38,000
Today's my birthday.
693
01:01:06,533 --> 01:01:10,900
I've boarded a plane to Paris
where I'll be teaching in the fall
694
01:01:14,700 --> 01:01:16,200
You text me,
695
01:01:17,967 --> 01:01:21,000
ask me to spend New Year's with you
696
01:01:22,633 --> 01:01:24,133
It's too late
697
01:01:25,667 --> 01:01:29,167
I've already made plans
to spend it with another man
698
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:34,700
A moment passes
699
01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:40,167
You write me:
700
01:01:41,633 --> 01:01:43,133
"1,877"
701
01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:46,467
"I'm not seeing anyone"
702
01:01:46,567 --> 01:01:48,067
"I'm crying"
703
01:01:49,667 --> 01:01:51,167
"1,877"
704
01:01:52,633 --> 01:01:54,133
You write again
705
01:01:54,833 --> 01:02:00,667
"That's the number of attachments we've
sent each other since I got a new phone"
706
01:02:00,767 --> 01:02:03,033
"1,877, I just checked"
707
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:07,700
You keep writing:
708
01:02:08,633 --> 01:02:11,533
"Why did you talk to me every day?"
709
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,633
"Why did we keep having sex?"
710
01:02:15,033 --> 01:02:17,700
"Why did you give me hope?"
711
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,500
"1,877 attachments"
712
01:02:22,533 --> 01:02:27,033
"I didn't need to find someone else
I'm destroyed"
713
01:02:28,333 --> 01:02:32,567
"1,877 staples I now have to tear
off my heart"
714
01:02:34,567 --> 01:02:36,933
"Our bodies are so good together"
715
01:02:37,033 --> 01:02:39,400
"I can't imagine life without you"
716
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:41,733
"Call me, please"
717
01:02:42,333 --> 01:02:44,367
"I love you"
718
01:02:44,467 --> 01:02:46,633
"1,877"
719
01:03:56,600 --> 01:04:00,967
You're still typing when my
flight takes off and I lose service
720
01:04:07,700 --> 01:04:11,400
Recently, you said
you'd really like somebody
721
01:04:11,500 --> 01:04:15,333
you formed a long-term relationship with...
722
01:04:15,567 --> 01:04:17,067
Yeah.
723
01:04:17,967 --> 01:04:21,500
That's not a thrill-a-minute proposition.
724
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:25,367
The thrill-a-minute stuff,
you get out of your system
725
01:04:25,467 --> 01:04:29,000
- when you're a teenager.
- In your twenties?
726
01:04:29,833 --> 01:04:32,400
- Pardon?
- In your twenties.
727
01:04:32,633 --> 01:04:34,133
Well, yeah.
728
01:04:35,233 --> 01:04:38,667
A lot of people
don't get what they want because
729
01:04:38,767 --> 01:04:42,667
they're looking for something dramatic
like in the movies.
730
01:04:42,767 --> 01:04:45,600
But it's not an all-the-time thing
731
01:04:45,900 --> 01:04:48,000
that works constantly.
732
01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:52,400
To be honest,
one time when I left your dad,
733
01:04:52,500 --> 01:04:57,100
I thought about it for four months
to decide whether to go back.
734
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:02,400
And I finally decided.
And the deciding factor was...
735
01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:07,267
That I liked traveling with Dad
more than I liked traveling
736
01:05:07,367 --> 01:05:10,367
with anybody else
I'd gone traveling with.
737
01:05:13,633 --> 01:05:15,133
I love that.
738
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,833
We're compatible on the road.
It's great!
739
01:05:22,967 --> 01:05:25,100
In the film and in your life,
740
01:05:25,300 --> 01:05:29,233
I want you to
do whatever you have to do.
741
01:05:29,533 --> 01:05:31,867
Don't do anything because you want
742
01:05:36,267 --> 01:05:39,967
to please me or actually anybody else.
743
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:43,633
Just think long and hard about
what you're doing,
744
01:05:43,733 --> 01:05:48,567
and what the consequences are going to be.
Will you be happy with them?
745
01:05:48,667 --> 01:05:51,367
I appreciate you saying that, Mom.
746
01:05:55,333 --> 01:05:58,433
It crystallizes a lot of how
you raised me,
747
01:05:58,533 --> 01:06:00,533
and I'm grateful for that.
748
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:03,700
Well.
749
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,700
Yeah. Whatever.
750
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:30,567
I fly to Mexico for work
751
01:06:33,433 --> 01:06:35,033
I want to see you again
752
01:06:36,433 --> 01:06:37,933
And you do, too
753
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:43,367
I'm exhausted but full of adrenaline
754
01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,133
You open the door
755
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:47,900
Tall and quiet
756
01:06:49,467 --> 01:06:50,967
Gentle
757
01:06:53,867 --> 01:06:56,300
You say it's a surprise seeing me
758
01:06:58,533 --> 01:07:00,633
Your beard has grown out
759
01:07:00,733 --> 01:07:02,300
You know I like that
760
01:07:04,167 --> 01:07:05,867
We walk up the steps
761
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:08,833
You try to take one of my bags
762
01:07:09,300 --> 01:07:11,967
but it's easier to let me carry it
763
01:07:16,067 --> 01:07:17,933
Your house and your body,
764
01:07:18,967 --> 01:07:20,567
the same but different
765
01:07:22,833 --> 01:07:25,000
A new clearing in the garden
766
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:28,367
An unfamiliar painting in your bedroom
767
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:34,033
You wear a white cardigan
I've never seen before
768
01:07:36,467 --> 01:07:38,033
You taste the same
769
01:07:43,267 --> 01:07:45,767
We use your phone to film each other
770
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:50,533
And we make love
better than ever before
771
01:07:55,667 --> 01:07:57,200
You know my body
772
01:07:59,733 --> 01:08:01,233
How it moves
773
01:08:02,033 --> 01:08:03,533
What I like
774
01:08:03,633 --> 01:08:05,133
Dislike
775
01:08:05,567 --> 01:08:07,067
What I hate
776
01:08:08,967 --> 01:08:10,467
What I love
777
01:08:19,500 --> 01:08:21,800
You show me what we recorded
778
01:08:22,867 --> 01:08:25,467
And I ask you to send it to me
779
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,333
1,878
53594
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
