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'The history of every major Galactic
civilisation
2
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,766
'passes through three distinct
and recognisable phases:
3
00:00:49,907 --> 00:00:53,453
'For instance, the first phase
is characterised by the question:
4
00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:57,742
'The second by the question:
5
00:01:01,065 --> 00:01:02,991
'The third by the question:
6
00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:08,976
'Though it will take a large civilisation
thousands of years
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00:01:09,096 --> 00:01:11,806
'to pass through the how,
why and where phases,
8
00:01:11,926 --> 00:01:14,840
'small social groupings
under stressful conditions
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00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,556
'can pass through these phases
with extreme rapidity thus...'
10
00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:20,575
How are doing?
Badly.
11
00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:22,320
Why?
Shut up!
12
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:27,894
Excitement and adventure
and really wild things.
13
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:31,792
'Excitement and adventure
and really wild things
14
00:01:31,912 --> 00:01:35,154
'have been dogging Arthur Dent
for some days.
15
00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:40,215
'He's had his planet demolished
to make way for a hyperspace by-pass,
16
00:01:40,335 --> 00:01:43,900
'and has been confronted
with the disconcerting knowledge
17
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,140
'that the Earth was not what it appeared,
18
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:50,581
'but was in fact a gigantic super-computer
19
00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:56,242
'designed to calculate the Ultimate Question
of Life, the Universe and Everything.
20
00:01:56,362 --> 00:01:59,577
'The answer to which
is now known to be:
21
00:02:01,279 --> 00:02:06,680
'He and his companions
have been blasted far forward in time
22
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,440
'to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe,
23
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,960
'from which they're returning in a ship
24
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,125
'which could not in all honesty
be said to belong to them.
25
00:02:16,806 --> 00:02:20,160
'Can they now relax for a while
and take stock?
26
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,680
'No.
27
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,040
'The ship does in fact
belong to Disaster Area,
28
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,880
'a plutonium rock band
whose stage act traditionally ends
29
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,415
'with a black stunt ship on autopilot
crashing into the heart of a nearby sun.
30
00:02:34,674 --> 00:02:39,582
'Of this, however, Arthur Dent and his
companions are totally unaware.
31
00:02:39,805 --> 00:02:42,928
'They decide to relax for a while
and take stock.'
32
00:02:43,048 --> 00:02:45,605
Listen, Earthman, you've a job to do.
33
00:02:45,725 --> 00:02:48,040
The Question to the Ultimate Answer, right?
34
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,397
There's a lot of loot
in that head thing of yours.
35
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,650
Where do we start?
The Ultimate Answer's 42.
36
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:57,237
What's the question? How should I know?
It could be anything.
37
00:02:57,357 --> 00:02:59,024
What's six times seven?
38
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:02,349
- 42!
- Yes, I know that.
39
00:03:02,469 --> 00:03:05,423
I'm just saying it could be anything.
Why ask me?
40
00:03:05,543 --> 00:03:09,582
'Cause you were the last one!
You were there at the Big Firework!
41
00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:12,294
- I wish you'd stop saying that.
- I know.
42
00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:14,607
Shut up, this is organism talk.
43
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:18,120
It's printed in the Earthman's
brainwave patterns,
44
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,852
but I don't suppose
you'll be very interested in that.
45
00:03:22,239 --> 00:03:24,074
You can read my mind?
46
00:03:24,194 --> 00:03:25,685
- Yes.
- And?
47
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:28,902
It amazes me how you manage to live
in anything that small.
48
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:30,640
Abuse!
49
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,400
Ignore him, he's only making it up.
50
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,353
Making it up?
Why should I want to do that?
51
00:03:37,473 --> 00:03:41,440
Life's bad enough as it is
without wanting to invent any more of it.
52
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,109
Marvin, if you knew all along,
why didn't you tell us?
53
00:03:45,555 --> 00:03:49,560
- You didn't ask.
- We're asking now. What's the question?
54
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,743
- The Ultimate Question?
- Yes!
55
00:03:51,863 --> 00:03:55,240
- Of Life, the Universe and Everything?
- Yeah!
56
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,840
- To which the answer is 42?
- Yeah, come on!
57
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,440
You're not really interested.
58
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:15,229
This ship knows
where it's going better than we do.
59
00:04:15,452 --> 00:04:18,916
I could tell you weren't really interested.
60
00:04:19,036 --> 00:04:21,243
- Who does this ship belong to?
- Me.
61
00:04:21,363 --> 00:04:23,911
- Who does it really belong to?!
- Really me!
62
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,766
Property is theft, right?
63
00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:29,230
Therefore theft is property,
therefore this ship is mine.
64
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:33,602
- Tell the ship that.
- Ship! This is your new owner speaking!
65
00:04:37,754 --> 00:04:42,005
OK, channel 9on power. Testing channel 15.
66
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:47,038
Channel 15, A-OK.Now in pre-sundive position.
67
00:04:47,158 --> 00:04:50,525
Put in under controlof central-stage coordination.
68
00:04:50,645 --> 00:04:56,220
Ship locked into stage computer A-OK.Stand by for sundive.
69
00:04:56,340 --> 00:05:00,582
- Turn it off!
- What does sundive mean?
70
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:04,045
The ship is going to dive into the sun.
71
00:05:04,165 --> 00:05:07,916
Sun. Dive.
It's very simple to understand.
72
00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:11,993
What do you expect
if you steal Disaster Area's stunt ship?
73
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:17,689
Marvin, what makes you think
it's Disaster Area's stunt ship?
74
00:05:18,581 --> 00:05:20,061
Simple...
75
00:05:20,413 --> 00:05:22,331
I parked it for them.
76
00:05:22,451 --> 00:05:25,818
Then why...?
77
00:05:25,938 --> 00:05:27,960
Why didn't you tell us?!
78
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:32,760
You said you wanted excitement
and adventure and really wild things.
79
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,159
This is awful!
80
00:05:36,063 --> 00:05:38,160
That's what I said.
81
00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,720
Hi, there, Galactic rock fans!
82
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,992
Fine weather for the concert this afternoon.
83
00:05:50,112 --> 00:05:53,320
I'm standing here on stage in the desert,
84
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,321
and with my hyper-binoctic glasses
85
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:59,800
I can just make out the huge audience
on the horizon all around.
86
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,815
Behind me, huge speaker stacks
rise like a cliff face,
87
00:06:02,935 --> 00:06:06,840
high above the sun is shining
and doesn't know what's going to hit it.
88
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,035
The environmentalist lobby do know
and claim the concert will cause
89
00:06:11,155 --> 00:06:17,399
earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes
and other things they always go on about.
90
00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:22,403
But I've just heard that Disaster Area
met with the environmentalists
91
00:06:22,523 --> 00:06:24,360
and had them shot!
92
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:29,478
So now nothing stands in the wayof the concert going ahead today.
93
00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:35,572
- Know what I'm thinking?
- I think so.
94
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,607
Tell me what you think I'm thinking.
95
00:06:37,866 --> 00:06:40,200
- It's time to get off this ship.
- I think you're right.
96
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,623
I think you're right.
97
00:06:42,386 --> 00:06:45,528
- How?
- Quiet, we're thinking.
98
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:50,202
So this is it? We're going to die.
99
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:54,793
I wish you'd stop saying that.
100
00:06:55,322 --> 00:07:00,611
'One of the things Ford Prefect found hard
to understand about human beings
101
00:07:00,731 --> 00:07:07,316
'was their habit of continually stating
and re-stating the very, very obvious, as in:
102
00:07:17,242 --> 00:07:21,575
'First, Ford formed a theory to account
for this strange behaviour.
103
00:07:21,695 --> 00:07:26,360
'lf human beings
don't exercise their lips, he thought,
104
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,408
'their mouths probably seize up.
105
00:07:29,913 --> 00:07:34,076
'After a while, he abandoned this theory
in favour of a new one.
106
00:07:34,346 --> 00:07:37,804
'lf they don't exercise their lips, he thought,
107
00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:40,598
'their brains start working.
108
00:07:41,056 --> 00:07:45,249
'In fact, this second theory is more literally
true of the Belcerebon People
109
00:07:45,369 --> 00:07:47,447
'of Kakrafoon Kappa.
110
00:07:47,682 --> 00:07:52,840
'The Belcerebons used to cause great
resentment amongst neighbouring races
111
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,680
'by being one of the most enlightened,
accomplished
112
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,718
'and, above all, quiet civilisations
in the Galaxy.
113
00:08:00,082 --> 00:08:01,981
'As a punishment for this behaviour,
114
00:08:02,101 --> 00:08:05,480
'which was held to be offensively
self-righteous and provocative,
115
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:11,314
'a Galactic tribunal inflicted on them
that most cruel of all social diseases:
116
00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:12,453
'telepathy.
117
00:08:14,789 --> 00:08:20,569
'Now, in order to prevent themselves
broadcasting every slightest thought
118
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:22,835
'to anyone within a five-mile radius,
119
00:08:22,955 --> 00:08:26,704
'they have to talk loudly
and continuously about the weather,
120
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,839
'their little aches and pains,
the match this afternoon
121
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:34,410
'and what a noisy place
Kakrafoon has suddenly become.
122
00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:38,895
'Another method of temporarily
blotting out their mind is to play host
123
00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:41,631
'to a Disaster Area concert.'
124
00:08:50,024 --> 00:08:52,760
This is it! We're starting to dive!
125
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,160
We're heading straight into the sun!
126
00:09:02,838 --> 00:09:06,807
- How many escape capsules are there?
- None!
127
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:10,800
- You counted them?
- Twice! Raise the crew on the radio?
128
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,352
- I said there were people on board.
- And they said?
129
00:09:14,472 --> 00:09:15,561
"Hi, there!"
130
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:19,370
- You told them who you were?
- Yeah. They said it was a great honour.
131
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,425
What does "teleport" mean?
132
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,445
What did you say?
133
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,932
- Probably the wrong moment.
- Where's the teleport?
134
00:09:27,052 --> 00:09:30,603
Under this sign
that says "Out of order". There.
135
00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:34,583
Hell's donkeys!
136
00:09:37,014 --> 00:09:42,033
It seems OK. Just the automatic
where-we're-going system is cocked up.
137
00:09:42,153 --> 00:09:46,072
- Who cares? Let's just go!
- Someone has to operate it manually.
138
00:09:46,776 --> 00:09:50,640
- Whoever it was would... would...
- Wouldn't...
139
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,900
...Escape.
140
00:10:00,771 --> 00:10:03,800
Hey, Marvin, kid!
141
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,440
How you doing?
142
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,399
Very badly, I suspect.
143
00:10:08,519 --> 00:10:12,933
- How would you like to...
...lay down my life selflessly for you?
144
00:10:13,053 --> 00:10:16,275
- Make the ultimate sacrifice?
- Yeah.
145
00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:22,320
Consign my brain, which is the size
of a planet, to death in a blazing sun,
146
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,765
so that you can all pursue
your futile little lives?
147
00:10:26,117 --> 00:10:31,717
Yeah. Nothing personal.
You don't count as a person, do you, kid?
148
00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:36,437
All right.
149
00:10:37,377 --> 00:10:40,840
- Come on, guys!
- Better all get into the teleport.
150
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,384
Marvin, you stupid tin can, shift it!
151
00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:47,449
We really appreciate this.
152
00:10:56,229 --> 00:10:59,698
I suppose some people
might expect better treatment
153
00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:05,344
after having waited 576,000
million years in a car park.
154
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:06,979
But not me.
155
00:11:07,004 --> 00:11:09,043
I may just be a menial robot,
156
00:11:09,163 --> 00:11:15,934
but I'm far too intelligent to expect
anyone to think of me for a moment.
157
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,725
Ford?
158
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:38,541
Ford?
159
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:42,081
Ford?
160
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,460
Arthur!
161
00:11:51,938 --> 00:11:54,415
- Arthur!
- Ford!
162
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:59,283
- Zaph?
- Trillian? Where've they got to?
163
00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:03,510
There's no reason why we should
all end up in the same place.
164
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,200
- Ah, well.
- Trillian?
165
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,244
They could be anywhere.
So could we, for that matter.
166
00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:11,840
Zaphod?
167
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:14,635
What's that?
168
00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:18,588
Feet! Let's move!
169
00:12:19,645 --> 00:12:22,921
- That's the way they're coming from.
- No, that's the way!
170
00:12:24,142 --> 00:12:25,405
You're right!
171
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:30,095
This way!
172
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:56,769
Joggers!
173
00:13:21,137 --> 00:13:23,955
- A funeral parlour?
- Wild!
174
00:13:24,075 --> 00:13:27,301
- What's so great about dead people?
- I dunno. What is so great?
175
00:13:29,402 --> 00:13:31,167
Look, a plaque.
176
00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:36,880
And a serial number.
177
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,080
- A dead telephone sanitiser?
- Best kind.
178
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,978
- What's he doing here?
- Not a lot!
179
00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,066
This one's a hairdresser.
180
00:13:45,771 --> 00:13:49,121
This one's
an advertising account executive.
181
00:13:49,241 --> 00:13:52,397
A second-hand car salesman, third class.
182
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,579
Are you sure these are coffins?
They're terribly cold.
183
00:13:55,699 --> 00:13:59,011
All right! Put your hands up
and turn around slowly.
184
00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:06,400
- Why isn't anyone ever pleased to see us?
- You're my prisoners.
185
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,677
- All right.
- Move! Move!
186
00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:10,321
- Move?
- Move!
187
00:14:10,932 --> 00:14:16,200
Left, right, left, right!
Keep in line! Left, right, left, right!
188
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:20,247
Left, right, one, two, three!
189
00:14:44,162 --> 00:14:45,853
- Captain?
- Yes, Number Three?
190
00:14:45,973 --> 00:14:49,364
I've had a sort of report-thingy
from Number One.
191
00:14:49,774 --> 00:14:53,598
- Oh, dear...
- Something about finding prisoners.
192
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:57,872
Perhaps it'll keep him happy for a bit.
He's always wanted some.
193
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:04,160
- Captain, sir!
- Hello, Number One. Having a nice day?
194
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,156
I've brought the prisoners
from Freezer Base 7, sir.
195
00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:12,619
Hello! Excuse me not getting up,
just having a quick bath.
196
00:15:12,739 --> 00:15:16,480
Well, gin and tonics all round, then!
Look in the fridge, Number Three!
197
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,038
Certainly, sir!
198
00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:20,326
Don't you want to interrogate
the prisoners, sir?
199
00:15:20,446 --> 00:15:22,760
Why on Golgafrincham should I do that?
200
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,400
To get information out of them, sir,
find out why they came here.
201
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:31,080
No, no. I expect they just dropped in
for a quick gin and tonic, don't you?
202
00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:35,240
But, sir... they're my prisoners.
Can't I interrogate them a little bit?
203
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,878
Oh, very well.
204
00:15:37,524 --> 00:15:40,424
- Ask them what they want to drink.
- Thank you, sir.
205
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,892
All right.
206
00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:46,387
You scum!
207
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:49,710
- You vermin!
- Steady on, Number One!
208
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,023
What do you want to drink?
209
00:15:53,138 --> 00:15:56,392
Gin and tonic sounds
very nice to me. Arthur?
210
00:15:56,512 --> 00:15:57,625
Yes!
211
00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:01,183
With ice or without?
212
00:16:03,132 --> 00:16:04,365
With, please.
213
00:16:05,809 --> 00:16:07,289
Lemon?
214
00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:13,148
Yeah. Do you have any of those
little biscuits, the cheesy ones?
215
00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:15,661
I'm asking the questions.
216
00:16:15,781 --> 00:16:18,969
Number One, push off, will you?
217
00:16:19,089 --> 00:16:21,893
I'm trying to take a relaxing bath.
218
00:16:22,468 --> 00:16:26,566
May I respectfully remind you that you've
been in that bath for over three years?
219
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,662
Well, one needs to relax a lot
in a job like mine.
220
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:31,564
Can I just...?
221
00:16:31,684 --> 00:16:34,089
Could I just ask you what your job is?
222
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:35,568
- Your drinks.
- Thanks.
223
00:16:35,688 --> 00:16:39,903
- I couldn't help noticing the bodies.
- Bodies?
224
00:16:40,023 --> 00:16:44,726
Dead telephone sanitisers
and account executives.
225
00:16:44,846 --> 00:16:49,886
They're not dead, no! They're just frozen.
They'll be revived.
226
00:16:50,006 --> 00:16:54,501
- You've a hold full of frozen hairdressers?
- Millions of them.
227
00:16:54,621 --> 00:17:00,455
Hairdressers, tired TV producers,
insurance salesmen, personnel officers.
228
00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:03,163
Security guards, public relations executives.
229
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:07,600
Management consultants.
We're going to colonise another planet.
230
00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:09,668
- What?
- Exciting, isn't it?
231
00:17:09,788 --> 00:17:12,435
- With that lot?!
- Don't misunderstand me.
232
00:17:12,555 --> 00:17:16,544
We're just one of the ships
of the Ark Fleet. We're the B Ark.
233
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:21,476
Excuse me, could you run
a little more hot water for me?
234
00:17:21,596 --> 00:17:23,691
- Yes, sure.
- Thanks.
235
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:37,554
- What's a B Ark?
- Well, our planet was doomed.
236
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:39,973
- Doomed?
- Yes, so everybody said,
237
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:44,347
Let's pack the whole population
into giant spaceships
238
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:47,493
and settle on another planet.
- A less doomed one?
239
00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:51,824
Precisely. So it was decided
to build three gigantic ships.
240
00:17:51,944 --> 00:17:55,159
Three gigantic Arks in space.
241
00:17:55,279 --> 00:18:01,080
The idea was that into the first ship
would go all the brilliant leaders, scientists,
242
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,000
the great artists, you know, all the achievers.
243
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:09,444
Into the third ship would go all the people
who do the actual work,
244
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,593
who make things and do things.
245
00:18:11,713 --> 00:18:16,146
Then into the B ship-that's us -
would go everyone else, the middlemen.
246
00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:19,363
Of course, we were sent off first.
247
00:18:21,682 --> 00:18:24,960
- What was wrong with your planet?
- It was doomed.
248
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:29,072
Apparently it was going to blow up
or crash into the sun or something.
249
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,338
That's not what I was told.
250
00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:35,900
My commander swore
that the entire planet was about to be eaten
251
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:37,614
by a mutant star goat.
252
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,669
- Really?
- Yes.
253
00:18:39,789 --> 00:18:43,172
He said how lucky I was
to be going off in the first ship.
254
00:18:44,651 --> 00:18:48,787
But they made sure
they sent all you lot off first, anyway.
255
00:18:50,888 --> 00:18:55,589
Oh, yes! And everyone said -
very nice I thought -
256
00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:59,837
how important for morale to feel
that they were arriving on another planet
257
00:18:59,957 --> 00:19:05,160
where you could get a good haircut
and where the phones were clean.
258
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:08,135
Yes. I can see that'd be very important.
259
00:19:08,255 --> 00:19:10,107
- Can you?
- Sh!
260
00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:13,500
And the rest of the ships
followed on after you?
261
00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:16,177
Funny you should mention that,
262
00:19:16,297 --> 00:19:20,065
'cause curiously enough
we haven't heard a peep out of them
263
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:25,231
since we left five years ago,
yet they must be behind us somewhere.
264
00:19:25,351 --> 00:19:26,722
Yes...
265
00:19:27,121 --> 00:19:29,441
Unless they're all eaten by the goat?
266
00:19:29,561 --> 00:19:32,541
The goat!
267
00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:40,484
Funny... Now that I come to tell
the story to someone else...
268
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:44,112
Don't you find it a bit odd, Number Three?
269
00:19:44,232 --> 00:19:47,606
- Well...
- It is a bit odd, isn't it?
270
00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:50,682
- It's odd.
- Yes, well...
271
00:19:50,802 --> 00:19:54,720
I can see you've a lot to talk about.
So thanks for the drink.
272
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,880
Could you drop us off
at the nearest convenient planet?
273
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,394
That's a little difficult, you see.
274
00:20:00,514 --> 00:20:04,281
Our trajectory thingy was pre-set
before we left Golgafrincham.
275
00:20:04,401 --> 00:20:09,595
I think it was partly due to the fact
I'm not really very good at figures.
276
00:20:10,194 --> 00:20:11,450
You mean...
277
00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:13,928
We're stuck here on this ship?
278
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:18,558
When are you going to arrive at this planet?
279
00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:20,847
We're nearly there. Nearly there.
280
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:23,078
I should be out of this bath, in fact...
281
00:20:23,198 --> 00:20:26,454
Oh, why stop just when I'm enjoying it?
282
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:31,217
- We are about to land, then?
- Not exactly land, no.
283
00:20:31,337 --> 00:20:34,280
As far as I remember,
we were programmed to crash on it.
284
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,479
Crash?!
285
00:20:35,599 --> 00:20:41,407
Some reason for it, but for the life of me
I can't remember what it was.
286
00:20:41,747 --> 00:20:44,967
You're all a load of useless bloody loonies!
287
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,938
Yes, that was it! That was the reason!
288
00:20:56,130 --> 00:21:01,590
'The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
has this to say about Golgafrincham:
289
00:21:35,710 --> 00:21:39,160
'Meanwhile,
the remaining useless third crash-landed
290
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,120
'into the prehistoric dawn
of a small blue-green planet
291
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:47,562
'at the unfashionable end
of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy.'
292
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,600
It's odd, isn't it?
293
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:53,304
'With them are Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect.
294
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:57,257
'They, too, have been travelling widely
in distant lands.
295
00:21:59,183 --> 00:22:01,813
'Something is bothering them.'
296
00:22:03,276 --> 00:22:05,331
It's very, very odd.
297
00:22:06,094 --> 00:22:07,879
There is one way to find out, of course.
298
00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:12,552
- What, you mean by going to...?
- Yes.
299
00:22:14,490 --> 00:22:15,719
All right.
300
00:22:39,997 --> 00:22:41,535
I said it was odd.
301
00:22:41,829 --> 00:22:44,846
Yes, I remember you saying.
302
00:22:45,457 --> 00:22:47,136
I can hardly believe it.
303
00:22:47,864 --> 00:22:49,883
I find it very easy to believe things.
304
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,374
I wonder how the Golgafrinchans are doing?
305
00:22:52,494 --> 00:22:53,607
Do you?
306
00:23:08,182 --> 00:23:13,642
All right! I'd like to call this meeting
to some sort of order, if possible.
307
00:23:13,762 --> 00:23:17,374
- Fancy a light trim, sir?
- Not now, I'm in the bath!
308
00:23:17,494 --> 00:23:21,319
- Anyone else like one?
- Please, we're trying to have a meeting.
309
00:23:21,439 --> 00:23:25,238
- If you'd all care to look at the agenda.
- Hello!
310
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:27,656
Hello!
311
00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:29,528
Who's that?
312
00:23:30,549 --> 00:23:31,535
Remember me?
313
00:23:31,655 --> 00:23:37,627
I... I made a discovery...
I'd like to tell you about.
314
00:23:37,747 --> 00:23:40,881
- Is it on the agenda?
- Agenda?
315
00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:44,000
Sorry, but speaking
as a management consultant,
316
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:48,001
I must insist on the importance
of the committee structure.
317
00:23:49,891 --> 00:23:53,167
- On a prehistoric planet?
- Address the chair!
318
00:23:54,130 --> 00:23:57,183
- There isn't a chair, only a rock.
- Call it a chair.
319
00:23:57,653 --> 00:23:59,179
Why not call it a rock?
320
00:23:59,790 --> 00:24:01,504
Will you two shut up?!
321
00:24:01,624 --> 00:24:05,356
- I want to table a motion.
- Boulder a motion, you mean!
322
00:24:05,755 --> 00:24:07,548
Thank you, I made that point.
323
00:24:07,901 --> 00:24:10,280
- Order, order!
- If I could just say...
324
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,633
Order, order!
325
00:24:15,838 --> 00:24:19,466
I would like to call to order the 573rd meeting
326
00:24:19,586 --> 00:24:24,095
of the colonisation committee
of the planet of Fintlewoodlewix.
327
00:24:25,081 --> 00:24:31,521
This is futile! 573 meetings
and you haven't even discovered fire yet!
328
00:24:33,012 --> 00:24:35,600
If you care to look at the agenda,
329
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:40,406
we are having a report from the Hairdressers'
Fire Development Sub-committee.
330
00:24:40,526 --> 00:24:41,865
That's me.
331
00:24:42,745 --> 00:24:43,966
That's you?
332
00:24:44,601 --> 00:24:45,869
What have you done?
333
00:24:46,702 --> 00:24:50,440
Well... they gave me a couple of sticks.
334
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,377
Yes. And?
335
00:24:58,085 --> 00:24:59,259
Curling tongs?
336
00:25:00,116 --> 00:25:02,370
You're going to die out, you know that?
337
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:07,320
You are obviously being totally naive!
338
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,896
When you've been in marketing
as long as I have,
339
00:25:11,016 --> 00:25:13,996
you know that before any new product
can be developed
340
00:25:14,116 --> 00:25:17,640
it has to be properly researched.
341
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:23,365
We've got to find out what people want
from fire, how they relate to its image...
342
00:25:23,485 --> 00:25:27,040
- Stick it up your nose!
- Precisely what we need to know.
343
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,000
Do people want fire
that can be fitted nasally?
344
00:25:31,728 --> 00:25:34,370
And the wheel! What about this wheel thing?
345
00:25:34,490 --> 00:25:36,760
They say it's a fascinating project.
346
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,748
We're having a little difficulty there.
347
00:25:41,981 --> 00:25:46,768
Difficulty? It's the single simplest machine
in the entire Universe!
348
00:25:46,888 --> 00:25:52,521
All right, Mr Wiseguy! You're so clever,
you tell us what colour it should be!
349
00:25:52,850 --> 00:25:55,410
O Mighty Zarquon!
350
00:25:55,643 --> 00:25:58,296
- Has no one done anything yet?
- Yes!
351
00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:04,266
I have declared war on the next continent.
352
00:26:04,489 --> 00:26:07,504
Declared war? There's no one living there.
353
00:26:07,624 --> 00:26:10,400
Yes. But there will be one day.
354
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,720
- So we've left an open-ended ultimatum.
- What?
355
00:26:14,963 --> 00:26:17,652
And blown up a few military installations.
356
00:26:18,180 --> 00:26:21,643
- Military installations, Number Two?
- Yes, sir.
357
00:26:21,763 --> 00:26:24,602
Well, potential military installations.
358
00:26:25,412 --> 00:26:27,443
All right, trees.
359
00:26:28,077 --> 00:26:30,560
And we interrogated a gazelle.
360
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:36,560
And one of our surviving film producers
rescued a camera from the wreckage.
361
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,440
He wants to make a documentary
about you, Captain.
362
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,040
That's awfully nice.
363
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,422
Yes, he's got a really strong angle on it.
364
00:26:45,542 --> 00:26:50,296
The burden of responsibility,
the loneliness of command...
365
00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:53,184
I wouldn't overstress that angle.
366
00:26:53,304 --> 00:26:56,466
After all, one's never alone
with a rubber duck.
367
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:03,324
If we could move on
to the subject of fiscal policy?
368
00:27:03,444 --> 00:27:05,468
Fiscal policy?
369
00:27:05,588 --> 00:27:09,343
How can you have money
if none of you produces anything?
370
00:27:09,463 --> 00:27:11,116
It doesn't grow on trees.
371
00:27:11,236 --> 00:27:15,160
But since we decided
to adopt the leaf as legal tender,
372
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:19,038
we have all of course
become immensely rich.
373
00:27:19,158 --> 00:27:24,760
But we have run into a small inflation
problem owing to high leaf availability.
374
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,200
That means the current rate
is something like
375
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:31,520
three major deciduous forests
buy one ship's peanut.
376
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:36,528
In order to obviate this problem
and revalue the leaf,
377
00:27:36,648 --> 00:27:40,532
we've decided on
an extensive campaign of defoliation
378
00:27:40,652 --> 00:27:43,545
and burn down all the forests.
379
00:27:43,665 --> 00:27:48,934
- I think that's a sensible move, don't you?
- Fiscally shrewd! Fiscally shrewd!
380
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:53,394
You're mad, you know that, don't you?
381
00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:58,044
Is it appropriate to inquire
what you've been doing all this time?
382
00:27:58,164 --> 00:28:02,000
You and that other interloper,
missing for months?
383
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,596
We've been travelling.
384
00:28:04,172 --> 00:28:05,334
We've...
385
00:28:06,532 --> 00:28:09,960
We've been trying to find out
something about this world.
386
00:28:11,369 --> 00:28:15,737
That does not sound
very productive to me. No.
387
00:28:15,857 --> 00:28:18,705
Well, have I got news for you!
388
00:28:18,825 --> 00:28:22,770
It doesn't matter a pair
of fetid dingos' kidneys what you do.
389
00:28:22,890 --> 00:28:26,188
Burn down the forests.
It won't make a scrap of difference.
390
00:28:26,308 --> 00:28:29,604
You see, I've seen the future.
391
00:28:29,933 --> 00:28:32,200
Two million years you've got,
and that's it!
392
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:37,229
At the end of that time, your race
will be dead. Gone. And good riddance.
393
00:28:38,027 --> 00:28:41,221
Remember that. Two million years.
394
00:28:45,945 --> 00:28:49,031
Strange chap.
What about those documentary things?
395
00:28:49,151 --> 00:28:51,253
Just time for another bath!
396
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,545
Sponge, somebody!
397
00:28:54,085 --> 00:28:56,504
No, no, no! Honestly!
398
00:28:56,727 --> 00:29:02,058
"Y" scores five, and it's on
a triple word score. I explained the rules.
399
00:29:02,293 --> 00:29:04,077
No, no, please!
400
00:29:04,197 --> 00:29:06,137
Put down the jawbone.
401
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:12,044
All right, we'll start again.
Please try and concentrate this time.
402
00:29:12,164 --> 00:29:14,803
Hi, Arthur, what are you doing?
403
00:29:15,049 --> 00:29:17,332
I'm trying to teach them Scrabble.
404
00:29:17,452 --> 00:29:21,597
It's uphill work. The only word they know
is "Ugh", and they can't spell it.
405
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:25,061
- What's the point in that?
- To make them evolve.
406
00:29:26,259 --> 00:29:29,725
Imagine a world descended
from those cretins over there!
407
00:29:29,845 --> 00:29:32,485
- We don't have to, we've seen it.
- But honestly!
408
00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:34,328
We've seen it. There's no escape.
409
00:29:35,009 --> 00:29:38,082
- Did you tell them what we discovered?
- What?
410
00:29:38,202 --> 00:29:40,571
Norway. Slartibartfast's signature
on the glacier.
411
00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:44,680
- What'll that mean to them?
- It means this is the Earth!
412
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,985
- My home. Where I was born.
- Was?
413
00:29:47,105 --> 00:29:49,557
- Will be.
- In two million years' time.
414
00:29:49,677 --> 00:29:54,113
Tell them that and see what they say.
They'll chase you up a tree! Face it...
415
00:29:54,336 --> 00:29:59,347
Those zeebs over there are your ancestors.
Your Scrabble board won't save your race.
416
00:29:59,467 --> 00:30:03,312
The human race is currently standing
around a bath making documentaries!
417
00:30:03,432 --> 00:30:06,811
- Surely we can do something?
- It's all been done, we've seen it.
418
00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:12,348
You know the history of the Earth
and its demolition by the Vogons.
419
00:30:12,468 --> 00:30:14,027
You can't change anything.
420
00:30:17,285 --> 00:30:20,890
And all because the Golgafrinchans
arrived here on their B Ark!
421
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:24,143
Ah, well.
422
00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:28,758
Poor bloody cavemen!
423
00:30:29,439 --> 00:30:32,151
It's all been a waste of time for you, hasn't it?
424
00:30:34,042 --> 00:30:36,942
Out-evolved by a telephone sanitiser!
425
00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:42,793
- He's pointing at the Scrabble board.
- Probably spelt "library" with one R.
426
00:30:45,623 --> 00:30:46,867
No, he hasn't.
427
00:30:48,675 --> 00:30:50,205
No, look!
428
00:30:52,189 --> 00:30:54,831
The experiment! 42!
429
00:30:54,951 --> 00:30:58,612
Deep Thought's answer to the Ultimate
Question of Life, the Universe and whatever!
430
00:30:58,732 --> 00:31:00,979
Everything! 42!
431
00:31:01,099 --> 00:31:06,568
Of course! The experiment to find
the question to that answer.
432
00:31:06,688 --> 00:31:09,386
It's going on all around us, here.
433
00:31:09,914 --> 00:31:13,800
The Earth. The ground. The trees.
434
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,422
The water. The rocks. The cavemen.
435
00:31:21,327 --> 00:31:24,180
Terrific! We've cocked it up.
436
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:27,256
The Golgafrinchans, us,
just by arriving here.
437
00:31:28,172 --> 00:31:32,022
The caveman is part of the program,
and they're dying out because of us.
438
00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:34,241
Therefore, no question.
439
00:31:36,179 --> 00:31:40,332
- What about my brain?
- What about your brain?
440
00:31:40,452 --> 00:31:43,725
Marvin said the question was printed
in my brainwave patterns.
441
00:31:43,845 --> 00:31:48,250
- Wrong question. It's still cocked-up.
- It might give us a clue.
442
00:31:48,543 --> 00:31:51,044
If it's in your brain,
how are we going to get at it?
443
00:31:51,984 --> 00:31:56,320
How about... if it's in my brain,
and I can't reach it,
444
00:31:56,555 --> 00:31:59,303
suppose we introduce some random element
445
00:31:59,423 --> 00:32:02,238
- Shaped by the brainwave patterns?
- Such as?
446
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,346
Pulling out letters from the Scrabble bag.
447
00:32:06,262 --> 00:32:08,516
- Brilliant!
- Right!
448
00:32:16,085 --> 00:32:18,293
Right. First four letters.
449
00:32:19,173 --> 00:32:23,005
W... H... A... T. What.
450
00:32:23,369 --> 00:32:24,614
Great. It's working.
451
00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:28,078
D... O... Y...
452
00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:30,450
Doy. Doyo!
453
00:32:31,365 --> 00:32:34,880
U... G... Doyoug?
454
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,071
Ah! E... T...
455
00:32:37,191 --> 00:32:43,485
Do you get.
What do you get...
456
00:32:45,023 --> 00:32:46,103
If...
457
00:32:46,223 --> 00:32:51,990
Y... O... U... M... U...
458
00:32:52,906 --> 00:32:55,250
Multi...
459
00:32:55,732 --> 00:32:57,423
P... Multiply!
460
00:32:59,325 --> 00:33:03,493
S... I... x...
461
00:33:03,613 --> 00:33:06,286
Six... by...
462
00:33:06,509 --> 00:33:10,783
N... I... N... E. Nine!
463
00:33:12,039 --> 00:33:15,799
Six... by... nine.
464
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,678
Is that it?
465
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,111
That's it.
466
00:33:20,956 --> 00:33:24,537
Six by nine? 42...?
467
00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:28,107
I always said there was something
fundamentally wrong with the Universe.
468
00:33:28,424 --> 00:33:29,974
All for that!
469
00:33:30,502 --> 00:33:31,475
Yep!
470
00:33:33,753 --> 00:33:35,268
It's very sad, you know.
471
00:33:37,487 --> 00:33:40,434
Just at the moment
it's a very beautiful planet.
472
00:33:40,775 --> 00:33:43,753
It is. It is indeed.
473
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:46,242
The rich primal greens.
474
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,800
The river snaking off into the distance.
475
00:33:50,129 --> 00:33:51,988
The burning forests.
476
00:33:52,539 --> 00:33:56,884
And then in two million years,
BANG! It gets destroyed by the Vogons.
477
00:33:58,117 --> 00:34:00,700
What a life for a young planet
to look forward to!
478
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:02,319
What a waste!
479
00:34:02,439 --> 00:34:04,656
Well, better than some.
480
00:34:05,678 --> 00:34:08,014
I read of one planet up in the 7th Dimension
481
00:34:08,134 --> 00:34:11,055
got used as a ball
in inter-Galactic bar billiards,
482
00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:14,394
got potted straight into a black hole,
killed 10 billion people.
483
00:34:14,514 --> 00:34:17,282
Madness, total madness!
484
00:34:17,541 --> 00:34:19,408
Only scored thirty points, too.
485
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,040
Where did you read that?
Hm? A book.
486
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:28,560
- What book?
- The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
487
00:34:28,818 --> 00:34:29,980
That thing!
39965
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