Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,951
Male singer:
J“ climbin' on the 5:45
2
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,829
j“ feelin' good inside
3
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,124
j“ feel the jets comin' alive
4
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,670
j“ come alive, all right
5
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:48,298
j“ I know I said
I'd never come back again
6
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:52,219
j“ but the city lights broke
and they done me in
7
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,806
-backing vocals: J“ I'm flying j“
-singer: J“ I'm comin' back home again j“
8
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,934
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I'm hopin' for gold again j“
9
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,854
-j' high above j“
-j' I am celebrating j“
10
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:07,234
-j' my love j“
-j' to be with my baby again j“
11
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,445
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' comin' back home again j“
12
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:13,907
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I won't be alone again j“
13
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:20,289
-j' I am flying j“
-j' I am celebrating... j“
14
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,699
Woman: Oh, sid...
15
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,470
Oh!
16
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,726
Oh, sid!
17
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,369
I don't feel like
going to work this morning.
18
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,662
Can't you take the day off?
19
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,876
No. I get bored sittin' around all day
doin' nothing.
20
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,129
You wouldn't get bored
with me around, Sidney.
21
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,883
I'll put the kettle on.
22
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,250
Some plumber.
23
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,203
Woman: You know
a lot of people, don't you?
24
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,079
Eh?
25
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,122
All those people writing to you.
26
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,333
They're bills, darling, bills.
27
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,918
Oh, bills.
28
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,838
"And, after repeated applications
havin' been ignored,
29
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,048
"we shall be forced to
reclaim the property
30
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,259
"within the next ten days."
31
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,052
Ah, well.
32
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,595
There goes the record player.
33
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,557
Oh, I didn't know you had a player.
Let's put a record on.
34
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,891
Look, I told you, I'm late.
35
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,852
Look, for Christ's sake,
make yourself useful.
36
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,436
The kettle's boiling.
37
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,523
Oh, sid, it's lovely
and warm in here.
38
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,526
I'll tell you what,
I'll have a little nap.
39
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,696
When you've gone to work,
I'll get up and make you my speciality.
40
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,198
I've already had your speciality.
41
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,908
Get your arse out of that bed.
42
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,952
Don't mince your words, do ya?
43
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,771
You made that tea yet?
44
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,523
I'm already drinking mine.
45
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,359
Oh, you're not back in bed again!
46
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,421
Well, you were ieapin'
up and down on me all night.
47
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,988
I'm utterly exhausted.
48
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,198
Well, I didn't hear you complainin'.
49
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,910
Come on, girl.
50
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,703
I'll give you a lift.
51
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,190
I wanna get out of here before...
52
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,127
Bloody hell, here he is. Adolf.
Come on, come on.
53
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,677
It's Monday.
54
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,971
I forgot all about the rent.
I'm terribly sorry.
55
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,348
I haven't got it, I'm afraid.
56
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,600
You can't go on being
"terribly sorry", mr south.
57
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,477
It's five weeks now.
58
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,829
I'm afraid this matter
will shortly be
59
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,773
in the implacable hands
of our computer.
60
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,650
Not the computer!
61
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,861
- What will it do to me?
- Send you an eviction notice.
62
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,030
Now, er...
You wouldn't like that, would you?
63
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,698
No, I wouldn't like that, would I?
64
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,718
Well, you'd better get
your finger out, hadn't you?
65
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,243
Good day.
66
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,497
Here, Adolf!
67
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,499
You forgot your machine gun.
68
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,589
Male neighbour:
Oh, mr south, here's your gas bill.
69
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,675
Oh, and while I'm about it,
70
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,219
do you mind making
a little less noise of a morning?
71
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,681
It's not that I'm narrow-minded,
but enough's enough.
72
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,646
Ain't you ready yet?
What you hangin' about for?
73
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,899
- Well, have you seen what's happened to my...
- Come on!
74
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,028
I've seen some
dizzy birds in my time,
75
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,572
but you take the bleedin' biscuit.
76
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,771
All right, I'll see you
later, then, darling. Ta-da.
77
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,816
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What it says.
78
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,111
So that's all it meant?
Well, thank you very much.
79
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,547
Look, I've got your phone number.
I'll call you, all right?
80
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,739
Yeah. I'll bet.
81
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,032
Once you get what you want,
82
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,660
you can't wait to
pull the next one, can ya?
83
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,454
What's that got to do with love,
that's what I'd like to know.
84
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,623
Hark at her!
Who said anythin' about love?
85
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,708
You did! Last night.
86
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,710
You don't even remember, do you?
87
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:31,047
- It so happens I've got feelings.
- Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.
88
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,775
When I get home tonight,
I'll call you, all right?
89
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,301
Don't bother.
I never want to see you or it again.
90
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,594
Ssh!
91
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,012
Don't you shush me!
92
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,431
I want the whole world
to know what you're like.
93
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,518
Look, everybody,
the original mr big.
94
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,480
Except where it counts,
you male chauvinist pig.
95
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,857
Knickers.
96
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,511
Hello.
97
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,555
Ba crapper limited.
98
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,891
Plumbing and sanitary installations.
99
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,934
Yes.
100
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,896
I'm sorry, madam.
No. I can't help you, no.
101
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,273
No, I'm afraid all my men
are out on jobs.
102
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,902
Yes. Well, I'll take
the address down, yes.
103
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,154
Yes. Thank you. Yeah.
104
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,782
Yes, it is humanly possible.
Yes, yes, yes.
105
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,076
All right, thank you. Bye-bye.
106
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,413
Morning, crappie!
107
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,793
What do you want to do that for?
That was red hot.
108
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,297
Cor blimey,
what time do you call this?
109
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,216
You should have been here
at eight o'clock.
110
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,967
Why? What happened?
111
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,886
How do you expect me
to run my business
112
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,721
with lazy hounds like you
on the books, eh?
113
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,726
Come on, crappie.
I'm up to my eyeballs in debt.
114
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,475
Sort us out
some decent jobs, will ya?
115
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,280
As a matter of fact, I was thinking of
crossing you off my register.
116
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,147
Leave it out.
You wouldn't survive without me.
117
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,107
Well, you're lucky,
as it so happens.
118
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,318
- Something's just come in.
- Yeah?
119
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,571
Yeah, a bit of plumbing
and a lavatory seat to fix.
120
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,033
- And, sid...
- Yeah?
121
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:26,412
- Try and do a good job, eh? Eh?
- Crappie.
122
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,083
What is it?
123
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,460
I love you.
124
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,589
Don't be so blooming familiar.
125
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,286
Oh! I'm very sorry.
126
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,539
It happens all the while.
Come in, mr plumber.
127
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,762
You don't mind me
watching, do you?
128
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,892
No, I don't mind you watching.
129
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,355
- You live here all alone?
- At the moment.
130
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,815
Bill's away. That's my husband.
131
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,653
He's been away almost a year now.
132
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,114
I've almost forgotten
what he looks like.
133
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,991
Are you married?
134
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,746
- No. It's not my scene.
- You'd make a lovely husband.
135
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,331
What makes you say that?
136
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,167
Women get a feeling
about these things.
137
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,046
- Oh, yeah?
- I must make the bed.
138
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,592
Give me a call when you've finished.
139
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:52,100
J“ it's your birthday, dear sid
it's your birthday, dear sid
140
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,977
j“ it's your birthday, dear Sidney j“
141
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,046
- I've finished!
- Oh, good!
142
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,715
Do you mind if I
take the old seat away?
143
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,592
Might come in useful.
144
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,137
Do what you like with it!
145
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,055
Come and get your money.
146
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,266
Door opposite the bathroom.
147
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,652
Come in.
148
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,907
Er... that'll be twenty pounds.
149
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,660
My chequebook's
on the dressing table.
150
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,912
Would you bring it over here?
151
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,045
Sit down.
152
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,686
Here, what're you doin'?!
153
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,605
You have me at your mercy.
154
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,357
I'm in your power. I'm helpless.
155
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,570
- Rubbish.
- They bind me to you. I'm yours.
156
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,238
Do with me what you will.
157
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,723
Yeah, well, you might have
waited till I'd got me shirt off.
158
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:35,244
Oh. Oh!
What a lovely hairy chest.
159
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,039
Oh, you're so powerful,
so overwhelming.
160
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,416
Here, what about your husband?
161
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:44,045
- Bill! Where are you?
- Yeah. Where is he?
162
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,589
In prison.
He won't be out till tomorrow.
163
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,800
We've got one whole day
to be really naughty.
164
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,906
- Bill: Oi!
- Hello, bill!
165
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,469
You wanna go straight home?
166
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,889
No, she's not expecting me
till tomorrow.
167
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,266
She don't like surprises.
168
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,269
By the way, er...
Where exactly did you hide 'em?
169
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,605
Oh cor blimey,
I've only been out five minutes.
170
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,942
Here, pull up at that phone box.
I'm gonna ring her.
171
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,861
Can't wait to get my teeth
in one of her chicken fricassées.
172
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,321
Chicken fricassées!
173
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,865
Two hundred grand's worth
of gold bars hanging about,
174
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,703
all you can think about
is chicken fricassées. Cor blimey!
175
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,583
You are my master,
I am your slave.
176
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,043
Be rough with me.
177
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,254
Quick, quickly.
178
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,507
Just a minute.
179
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,092
What?
180
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,531
Hello?
181
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,116
Janice?
182
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,826
Hello, my love.
183
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,996
Why, it's me, Billy.
184
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,289
Yeah.
185
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,874
I'm on me way home.
186
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,459
Yeah, now.
187
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,378
Keep the bed warm, darlin', eh?
188
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,718
- Bloody hell!
- What?
189
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,638
I must have got the day wrong.
He's on his way back.
190
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,515
- What?!
- Trust him to spoil everything.
191
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,143
- Well, what are you looking for?
- The key!
192
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,897
- What key?
- The key to this.
193
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,524
Oh, don't tell me you can't find it.
194
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,736
- I know. It's in my handbag.
- Where's that?
195
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,613
- Downstairs.
- Right.
196
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,074
Oh!
197
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,662
Help.
198
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,416
Cor, I don't half fancy a drink.
199
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,002
Food, sex and drink.
That's all you think about.
200
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,564
Here, hold on. I've been inside
for more than a year, you know.
201
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,507
That was your stupid fault.
202
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,259
I could have understood it
if you'd've got nicked for the gold,
203
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,513
but doin' over a copper...
I ask ya!
204
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,515
- Well, I'd had a few, hadn't I?
- Yeah.
205
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,933
Got carried away.
206
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,519
Here, there's a pub over there.
207
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,043
- Where was he phoning from?
- From a call box.
208
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,796
Bloody marvellous.
209
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,052
Ah!
210
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,096
That was smashing.
Fancy another one?
211
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,599
You still ain't told me
what you done with the gold.
212
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,394
- I melted it down.
- You what?
213
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,812
Ssh!
214
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,624
I couldn't keep it hangin' about.
I had to get rid of it.
215
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,774
So, where is it?
216
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,669
You'd never guess
in a million years, old son.
217
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,946
- Then tell me.
- It's at home.
218
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,198
You must be out of your mind.
219
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,200
The police can
search there any time.
220
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,785
That's right. They already have,
221
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,911
half a dozen times.
222
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,622
But they never found anything,
never will.
223
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,958
Even the old woman
don't know where it is.
224
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,210
Come on, have another pint.
225
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,926
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
226
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,180
Janice: Oh, my god.
227
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,727
You crafty old sod.
228
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,228
Nah, it was so simple.
229
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,980
I used a welding torch, see.
230
00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,065
It was the mould
that was the difficult part.
231
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,777
I tried out plaster of Paris,
but it wouldn't stand the heat,
232
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,737
so I used Clay.
233
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,865
- Looks like the real thing?
- You couldn't tell the difference.
234
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,534
Except it's a bit heavy, like.
Yeah.
235
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,162
Stroke of bloody genius, weren't it?
236
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,581
Talk about sittin' on a fortune.
237
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,708
I'll tell you
something else, sunshine.
238
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,460
I've got a buyer lined up for it.
239
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,755
Drink up, then.
Let's not keep him waiting.
240
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,351
Come on, come on.
241
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,063
It's not there.
242
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,234
Wait a minute.
243
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,777
I remember now.
244
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:02,655
It's in my housecoat.
245
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,200
And where exactly is your housecoat?
246
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,245
In the bedroom.
247
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,413
In the bedroom.
248
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,382
What?
249
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:24,635
- Well, you'd better be up for it.
- Right.
250
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,196
Are you sure
it's in your housecoat?
251
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,781
I think so.
252
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:52,162
Hang about, hang about.
253
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,208
Oh!
254
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,295
It's all right, all right.
255
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,590
What was he inside for?
256
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,842
Grievous bodily harm.
257
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,432
How much for this, mate?
258
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,113
Here, what's this?
259
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,698
It's covered in brown paint.
260
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:12,242
I'll have to pay someone
to scrape it off, won't I?
261
00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:14,286
What are you talking about?
It's an antique.
262
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,497
Look, mate,
that's all it's worth to me.
263
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,917
If you want it back,
pick it up and piss off.
264
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,265
- Wotcha, suze.
- Hi.
265
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:38,435
- What's on today then, eh?
- Sausages. All right?
266
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,355
Suppose it'll have to be.
Bottle of brown, please.
267
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:43,649
Here, you look well.
You been away?
268
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,275
Yeah. Been down to me mum's.
269
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:47,778
- Costa del bognor.
- Oh, yeah.
270
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,131
Hello, blackie.
271
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:08,841
Ain't seen much of
you lately, have we?
272
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:11,301
- Well...
- You know what I think?
273
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:15,514
I think that you owe someone
some money. Don't he, stropper?
274
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:18,308
Like about nine hundred nicker.
275
00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,227
Well, you don't think
I've forgotten, do ya?
276
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,312
Come on, you know me.
I'm a man of me word.
277
00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:23,939
80's the guv'nor.
278
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,358
He says some beautiful ones about you.
279
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:29,778
Lovely ones.
He even wrote them down for us.
280
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,867
Says here,
281
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:38,662
"tell that lying git
that if he don't cough up,
282
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:42,332
"we'll break every bone
in his horrible body
283
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:45,335
"and stuff the bleeding lot
down his throat."
284
00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:50,466
Like poetry, ain't it?
285
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,178
Are you threatening me?
286
00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:56,430
Do you hear
what he says, stropper?
287
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:03,479
- Anything I can get you boys?
- Blackie: That's all right, love.
288
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,125
We just popped in to have a talk
with our mate here, didn't we?
289
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:08,942
Keep your voice down, blackie.
These people are friends of mine.
290
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:13,739
That's all right. They'll be able to
visit you in hospital, won't they?
291
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,825
- What do you mean?
- He says, what do we mean?
292
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:18,035
Oh, leave it out.
293
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,245
Look, one hot tip
and you iot'll be owing me money.
294
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:23,540
- You know what it's like.
- They never learn, do they?
295
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:27,294
I can't lose all the time.
It's against the law of averages.
296
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,463
Sometimes you're up,
sometimes you're down.
297
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:31,256
Yeah, that's right.
298
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:34,176
And if you don't come up
with the readies on Saturday,
299
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:35,677
you'll be up!
300
00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:38,472
Up the bleedin' creek,
you understand?
301
00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,807
All right, all right.
302
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,601
Good. Nice to have seen ya.
303
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,979
Come on, stropper.
You've had your say.
304
00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:49,650
Oh!
305
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,735
I forgot.
306
00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:55,656
You know Willie Thompson, don't ya?
307
00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:58,117
- The electrician?
- Yeah, that's him.
308
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,619
He's in st Martin's hospital.
309
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:02,329
Why don't you go up and see him?
310
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,124
He's had a terrible accident.
311
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:07,543
Like the one you'll be having.
312
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,546
Keep healthy.
313
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:43,537
Janice!
314
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,455
It's me, darlin'. I'm home.
315
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,170
She must have gone shopping.
316
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:54,423
I'm not interested in that.
All I wanna see is that gold.
317
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:58,927
Not only can you see it, old mate,
you can bloody use it. Come on up.
318
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,112
That's bloody marvellous.
319
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,615
You couldn't tell it
from the real thing.
320
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,080
It's bleeding plastic.
321
00:28:27,873 --> 00:28:29,333
You're bloody right.
322
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,126
What the hell's going on?
323
00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:32,878
Billy!
324
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:34,421
Ooh!
325
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,757
You better start talking,
you silly bitch.
326
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,301
Where's it gone, eh? Eh?
Who's got it?
327
00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:53,190
That lavatory seat
you've got in the window.
328
00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:06,036
It's a very unique piece, sir.
329
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,330
Came from a stately home.
330
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,040
Eleven quid.
331
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:13,210
I don't want to buy the stately home,
just the lavatory seat.
332
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:16,588
Cost me eight pounds.
I've gotta make a profit.
333
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:18,799
Make it ten.
334
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,425
- Five?
- Six.
335
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,135
Five and a half?
336
00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,054
Okay.
337
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,106
Willie?
338
00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:24,948
Hello, Willie.
339
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:26,908
Hello.
340
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:30,579
Some people will do anything
to get a day off work.
341
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,081
You look like the invisible man.
342
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:40,756
Yeah, I heard you was laid up, mate.
I didn't think it was as bad as this.
343
00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,299
Vvhathappened?
344
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,593
Got beaten up.
345
00:30:44,718 --> 00:30:46,053
Yeah, but who did it?
346
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,888
I don't know.
347
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:50,474
Blackie.
348
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,977
Oh, not blackie?
His friend stropper?
349
00:30:55,729 --> 00:30:56,938
Oh, yeah.
350
00:30:58,607 --> 00:31:00,108
Nice fella, stropper.
351
00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:05,739
Oh! Sorry.
I'm sorry, Willie. Er...
352
00:31:08,742 --> 00:31:11,578
Sorry. I'm sorry, Willie.
Sorry, Willie.
353
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,916
I'm sorry, Willie.
354
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:19,795
Here look, I bought you
a dirty magazine.
355
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,801
Oh, yeah.
I can see your problem.
356
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:32,808
Cheer up, Willie.
357
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:39,648
Did you hear about the fella
that had to have his leg amputated?
358
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:40,816
Hmm?
359
00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:43,485
When he woke up from the operation,
the doctor said,
360
00:31:43,610 --> 00:31:45,779
"we got some good news,
we got some bad news.
361
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,531
"The bad news is,
362
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,866
"we've chopped the wrong leg off.
363
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,828
"The good news is,
the other one's got better."
364
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:01,294
How much do you owe 'em, Willie?
365
00:32:01,378 --> 00:32:03,046
It must have been a bloody fortune.
366
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:06,007
Uh-uh. Sixty-three.
367
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,136
Sixty-three? Thousand?
368
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,559
Sixty-three pounds.
369
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:18,228
Sixty-three quid?
370
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:28,029
See ya later, Willie.
371
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:32,951
Keep healthy.
372
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,918
Cheer up. It may never happen.
373
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:43,253
It already has.
374
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:46,298
Oh, well,
we've all got our problems.
375
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,508
Here, what is it? What's wrong?
376
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:50,385
I'd prefer not to talk about it.
377
00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:53,305
Please yourself.
I was only trying to help.
378
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:56,975
I'm sorry.
379
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,233
Here you are. Get this down you.
380
00:33:05,692 --> 00:33:09,988
- Oh, well, I haven't got any...
- Oh, it's all right. It's on the house.
381
00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:11,239
Thanks.
382
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:16,036
Only a few more minutes to go.
I'm off early today.
383
00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:19,247
- Nice one.
- Oh, look, there's your two friends.
384
00:33:29,299 --> 00:33:31,593
Not speakin'?
385
00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:33,803
Friendly sort of geezer, ain't he?
386
00:33:33,887 --> 00:33:35,639
Come here.
387
00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:41,978
Sit down.
388
00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:45,398
Make yourself at home.
389
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:49,694
Now then, what have
we done to upset ya?
390
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:52,697
- Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
- Well, then...
391
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,824
Look, you'll get your money.
392
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:58,828
It's only a few hours since I saw you.
Give us a break, for Christ's sake.
393
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,748
- Have you been to see Willie?
- Yeah, I saw Willie.
394
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,625
Nice fella, Willie.
395
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:05,835
He didn't deserve
that bit of bad luck.
396
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:10,298
And all over a mere sixty-three quid.
Ridiculous, ain't it?
397
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,218
Sid: You've made your point.
Don't rub it in.
398
00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:15,011
In a hurry?
399
00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:16,763
Oh, well, yeah.
400
00:34:16,846 --> 00:34:19,075
I gotta raise 900 quid
by the end of the week, haven't I?
401
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,392
So you have.
402
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,269
And I've got an idea.
403
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,938
Why don't you go round and
see old dodger?
404
00:34:25,021 --> 00:34:27,065
He might be able to help.
405
00:34:27,148 --> 00:34:28,900
Dodger Harris?
406
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:32,028
He's as bent as a corkscrew.
What do you think I am, a villain?
407
00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:36,199
Did you hear me call him a villain?
It's you I'm thinkin' about.
408
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:40,328
900 quid's not an easy matter
to raise in three days.
409
00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:43,248
Oh! Well, I'm so glad
you understand.
410
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:45,292
Of course we understand.
411
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:48,628
That's why I said 90 round
and see old dodger.
412
00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:51,381
Because, if you don't cough up,
413
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:55,176
what happened to Willie
will seem like an itchy elbow
414
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,929
compared to
what's gonna happen to you.
415
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:03,184
- Thanks a lot.
- Don't mention it.
416
00:35:03,268 --> 00:35:06,021
See you Saturday.
Oh, by the way...
417
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:08,481
Here's dodger's card.
418
00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:11,484
I'll tell him to expect ya.
419
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:12,944
Keep healthy.
420
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,873
Where are you going now, then?
Home?
421
00:35:24,998 --> 00:35:27,375
No, I might as well stay here
and slash me wrist.
422
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,002
Look, I tell you what.
423
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:32,672
Why don't you come back with me?
I'll cook you a nice meal.
424
00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:46,227
Here, sid. What did those two fellas
want today in the pub?
425
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:52,817
Man on TV: And that concludes
our programmes for this evening.
426
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:57,197
It only remains for me, Joseph gannon,
on behalf of all of us here...
427
00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:07,976
You came to my house yesterday
and took away my lavatory seat, right?
428
00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:10,287
Who the bleedin' hell are you?
How did you get in here, anyway?
429
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,648
Never mind that.
Where's that bloody lavatory seat?
430
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,401
You nicked it.
We could put you inside for that.
431
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:19,738
- What are you talkin' about?
- I'll tell you what we're talkin' about.
432
00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:23,158
Yesterday, you came to my house
to do a job,
433
00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:26,202
and you took my lavatory seat
away with ya.
434
00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:27,286
I want it back.
435
00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:29,831
It's a load of old rubbish.
I gave your wife one...
436
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:31,833
I mean,
I gave your wife a brand new one,
437
00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,251
and she still hasn't paid for it.
438
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,462
Don't get funny with us, son,
439
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:38,256
or you'll get this
down the back of your throat.
440
00:37:38,298 --> 00:37:39,674
Where is it?
441
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:41,926
I sold it.
442
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,845
- You what?
- Who to?
443
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:49,350
- A junk shop.
- He sold it to a junk shop.
444
00:37:49,434 --> 00:37:53,730
Ah! That's nice. Come on, you.
445
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:56,107
- Where are we going?
- Where do you think?
446
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:24,052
- I'm not open.
- Look, I made a mistake yesterday.
447
00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:27,015
That bog seat is a family heirloom
or something. The owner wants it back.
448
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,575
- Well, he can't have it, it's gone.
- What do you mean, gone?
449
00:38:29,599 --> 00:38:32,060
- I've sold it.
- Oh, Christ! Who to?
450
00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:34,687
How should I know?
I've never seen him before.
451
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,398
Now piss off.
I'm going back to bed.
452
00:38:38,858 --> 00:38:41,486
- Who the hell are you?
- Never mind about that, fuzz-face.
453
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:43,404
If we don't get our seat back,
you're for it.
454
00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,366
- So, who was it?
- I told him, I don't know.
455
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:50,370
- Did he pay you by cheque?
- Yeah. I... I've still got it.
456
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:52,205
Let's have a look.
457
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,714
Now, we've saved ourselves
a bit of trouble.
458
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:04,175
He's put his address on the back.
459
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:17,146
Right. Now, get in there,
and get it back.
460
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:18,898
And don't forget, son,
we're watching you.
461
00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:20,066
Well, what am I gonna say?
462
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:23,611
You ain't been lost for words so far.
Go on, get goin'.
463
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,488
Clumsy sod.
464
00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:44,382
I bought it legally.
465
00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:46,217
I've paid for it,
and I got a receipt.
466
00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:47,760
But it wasn't mine to sell.
467
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:51,431
- Look, you changed the seat, right?
- Yeah, but it was a mistake.
468
00:39:51,514 --> 00:39:54,350
Well, I consider
that everything was in order.
469
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:57,604
You were entitled to take it,
I'm entitled to keep it.
470
00:39:57,729 --> 00:40:00,440
Look, you gotta sell it back to me.
If you don't, I'll...
471
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,108
If you don't,
I'll call the police
472
00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:04,652
and tell them you're
receiving stolen property.
473
00:40:04,777 --> 00:40:07,322
I was just about to let you have it.
474
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,032
Now, I'm damned if I will.
475
00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:11,451
Get out of here
before I throw you out.
476
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:27,926
- He won't sell it back.
- Won't he?
477
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,637
Well, we'll see about that.
Come on.
478
00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:51,366
Where's your old man?
We want to talk with him.
479
00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:52,617
Who are you?
480
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:54,744
Never mind who we are.
Where is he?
481
00:40:55,203 --> 00:40:57,038
I'll get him. You wait in there.
482
00:40:57,205 --> 00:41:00,041
- Well, go on, then.
- Henry!
483
00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:02,043
- Henry!
- "Henry."
484
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:12,470
- Did you see her face? Shit scared.
- Yeah.
485
00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:14,406
Well, you have to show 'em
you mean business, don't ya?
486
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:16,140
- Right.
- Tell you what.
487
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,518
We'll give him one last chance
to sell it back,
488
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:21,813
and if he don't,
we'll do it the hard way.
489
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,120
Do you remember that bloke
we did it to...
490
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:26,234
Yes, gentlemen.
What can I do for...
491
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:33,366
- Those the men you were talking about?
- Yeah.
492
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:36,285
Oh, I know them.
Right pair of villains, they are.
493
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:38,389
Yeah, well, they made me come here.
I didn't want to threaten anyone.
494
00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:42,125
Yeah, hi, there.
Hello, chief inspector wallings here.
495
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:46,045
Yeah. I think I've got a lead for you
on that union safe depositjob.
496
00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:49,674
Yeah. Pick me up at my house
as soon as you can, will you?
497
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,344
- Right, well, I'll be off, then.
- Just a minute.
498
00:41:54,554 --> 00:42:00,476
You know, I believe there's more to
that lavatory seat than we thought.
499
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:03,271
All this fuss over a bog seat.
500
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,231
Scrape the paint off.
501
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,531
Well?
502
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,450
It's brass.
503
00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:17,452
Just as I thought.
504
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:18,953
It's gold.
505
00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:21,581
Solid gold.
506
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:25,001
I'll need you down at the station.
507
00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,603
Not you lot.
508
00:42:43,686 --> 00:42:45,855
I've had just about
enough for one day.
509
00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:48,066
I'm afraid you've got
another problem.
510
00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:50,777
- What's this?
- Your eviction papers.
511
00:42:50,860 --> 00:42:54,072
Sorry, but I did warn you,
didn't I, mr south?
512
00:42:54,155 --> 00:42:55,656
Good day.
513
00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:46,958
Man: Come in.
514
00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:51,504
- Dodger Harris?
- Yeah.
515
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:53,172
Oh! Come in, lad.
516
00:43:53,256 --> 00:43:55,466
Come in, come in.
Sit down, sit down.
517
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,348
Now, what can I do for you?
518
00:44:02,849 --> 00:44:04,600
I need some money, fast.
519
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:07,353
I believe you might have a few ideas.
520
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,355
My head teems with 'em.
521
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:13,151
May one enquire
why you want this money fast?
522
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:16,070
Yeah, well, the bookies
are after me for 900 quid.
523
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:19,490
If I don't have the money by Saturday
at the latest...
524
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:20,908
Oh, dear.
525
00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:25,413
- Oh, you do have a problem.
- Well, that's why I'm here.
526
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,709
- Somebody recommended you to me.
- Who was this someone?
527
00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:32,336
- Blackie.
- Ah! Blackie.
528
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:34,547
Any friend of blackie's is a...
529
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,923
Friend of blackie's.
530
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,802
Yeah, well, he's not
really a friend.
531
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,013
In fact, it was him
who threatened to do me in.
532
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,389
Oh, dear.
533
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:45,766
What experience have you got?
534
00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:48,311
- Well, I'm a plumber.
- A plumber?
535
00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:51,272
- Ever been in any trouble?
- No, of course not.
536
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,609
- That's a pity.
- Look...
537
00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:57,236
I don't want to do anything illegal.
538
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,405
Perish the thought!
539
00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:02,074
Do you ever get seasick?
540
00:45:02,158 --> 00:45:03,659
Well, I'm all right
in a rowing boat.
541
00:45:03,784 --> 00:45:05,536
It's just I've got this something
542
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:08,497
being dropped off a fishing boat
off the south coast.
543
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:10,976
I'm looking for a likely lad
to pick it up. How about that?
544
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,044
- What is it?
- Look, don't ask no questions,
545
00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:16,923
and if anybody asks you any questions,
you don't know any answers, right?
546
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:20,885
Now, you'll need a frogman's suit,
547
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:22,470
an oxygen lung,
548
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:23,846
and you'll go down...
549
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:25,014
Phew!
550
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:26,641
Twenty fathoms.
551
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:28,935
I can't swim.
552
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:31,729
Buggen
553
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:35,942
oh, here's something
right up your street.
554
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,443
Jeweller's shop.
555
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,988
- Not a smash and grab.
- For some perhaps, but not for you.
556
00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:44,825
There's a professional group,
a highly professional group,
557
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:48,162
and they're looking for
a modicum of information.
558
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:49,664
What sort of information?
559
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:51,540
Well, they want a sketch map
of the basement
560
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,852
showing the water pipes,
the gas mains and alarm system.
561
00:45:53,876 --> 00:45:55,646
And, as a plumber, of course
you've got the perfect cover.
562
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,731
You just call in and say,
"I'm checking the water pressure,"
563
00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:59,173
and phfft, you're in.
564
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:02,218
Well, that's not
worth 900 quid, is it?
565
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:04,553
More or less.
More or less, yeah.
566
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:05,846
How about it?
567
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,393
What's the address?
568
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:39,088
Actually, I wasn't aware
we had any trouble with the pressure.
569
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:41,590
We can never get any
hot water, though.
570
00:46:41,674 --> 00:46:43,843
Maybe it's the thermostat.
571
00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:46,846
Er... perhaps you'd like
to have a look at it
572
00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:48,723
while you're down here.
573
00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:50,224
All right.
574
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:54,020
Well, you don't have to hang about.
I'll call you if I need any help.
575
00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,604
Oh, we're not busy.
576
00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:57,398
Maybe I'll learn something.
577
00:46:59,025 --> 00:47:00,151
Yeah.
578
00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:03,029
Yeah. Well, it's, er...
579
00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:05,031
It's probably your, er...
580
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,241
Safety valve.
581
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:26,510
Man: Mr Bradley?
582
00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:31,390
Oh! Look, I'll leave you to it now.
I think they need me upstairs.
583
00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:50,678
Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, right, right.
Yeah. Right.
584
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:55,099
They say you done a good job.
They're going in tomorrow night.
585
00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:57,184
Tomorrow night!
586
00:48:57,268 --> 00:48:59,228
Can't you let me
have a bit on account?
587
00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:03,107
Look, the moment I get my commission,
you get your fee.
588
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:05,526
What could be fairer than that?
589
00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:12,616
- You don't look at all well, sid.
- Oh, I'm all right.
590
00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:16,871
Just been up to me eyeballs
in it lately, that's all.
591
00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:18,747
You didn't mind me
popping in, did you?
592
00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:20,875
No, of course not.
593
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,878
What's the matter?
594
00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:27,756
Well, Suzie,
595
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,800
things have been
a bit difficult lately.
596
00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:34,597
What, with the bills and the rent,
things have been getting out of hand.
597
00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:36,432
What do you mean?
598
00:49:38,058 --> 00:49:42,396
Come on, you can tell me.
A trouble shared and all that.
599
00:49:42,521 --> 00:49:46,025
No, you've got your own problems.
You don't want to hear about mine.
600
00:49:47,193 --> 00:49:48,694
Besides...
601
00:49:49,528 --> 00:49:51,238
You're a bit special, suze.
602
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,574
You're not like the rest.
603
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:56,911
Sid, why can't you
confide in me, eh?
604
00:49:56,994 --> 00:49:58,370
I'm sure it'd help.
605
00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:01,332
Well, maybe one day.
606
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:04,418
But I've got to get meself
straightened out first.
607
00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:08,172
In the meantime,
I don't want you lying on my account.
608
00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:10,549
Here, look.
609
00:50:12,218 --> 00:50:14,178
I better get some sleep.
610
00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,305
You could stay here, you know.
611
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:23,145
No, I think I'd better go home.
Don't you, eh?
612
00:50:57,555 --> 00:50:59,515
My god.
613
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:12,319
- Here, what's going on in there?
- I don't know.
614
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,698
- It ain't half bloody hot in here.
- Where's the safe, then?
615
00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,534
I don't know.
How can I see in this steam?
616
00:51:31,297 --> 00:51:32,506
Come on.
617
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:35,509
Bert: I'm not that
bloody big, it's slim.
618
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,431
I bet this steam will slim you up.
619
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,937
You got your leg caught between...
620
00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:05,456
Christ almighty, Bert!
Let's get out of here! Get out!
621
00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:16,216
Man: Come on, Bert!
622
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,296
Crappie!
623
00:52:57,633 --> 00:53:00,260
- Mr crapper!
- All right! All right!
624
00:53:02,304 --> 00:53:03,722
Oh, it's you.
625
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:10,396
Where'd you spring from?
I thought you'd retired.
626
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:13,357
- Yeah, well, I've been busy.
- Not for me, you haven't.
627
00:53:13,482 --> 00:53:14,858
You got any jobs, then?
628
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:18,737
You're dead lucky.
Couple ofjobs come in this morning.
629
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,533
Crappie, can you lend me some money?
I'm a bit skint.
630
00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:23,867
Yeah, all right, boy, yeah.
631
00:53:23,992 --> 00:53:26,912
- When you've finished yourjobs.
- Oh, come on, look.
632
00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:28,789
I just need a tenner.
A fiver'll do.
633
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:32,292
I must say, I do get
a laugh out of you, son.
634
00:53:32,418 --> 00:53:34,712
Come on.
635
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:52,813
- You phoned for a plumber.
- Did we?
636
00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:55,399
Well, yeah, I think so.
637
00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:59,111
Well, that'll be
the wife's department.
638
00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:01,447
Maisie, the plumber's here.
639
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,332
Oh, you've come to fix
the garbage disposal.
640
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:13,625
This way.
641
00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:21,300
We only moved in a month ago
and nothing seems to work.
642
00:54:21,467 --> 00:54:22,885
First, it was the cooker,
643
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,429
then, during the heatwave,
the fridge went wrong.
644
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:26,805
All the food went off.
645
00:54:26,972 --> 00:54:28,807
Then I had a problem
with my dishwasher.
646
00:54:28,891 --> 00:54:30,476
Smashed up all my crockery.
647
00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:32,436
You sound like
the original calamity Jane.
648
00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:34,855
You can say that again.
649
00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:38,233
There doesn't seem
to be much wrong with this.
650
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:40,235
I don't even think
it's a plumbing job.
651
00:54:40,319 --> 00:54:42,571
I think you've got
a wire loose here.
652
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:45,407
Look, would you mind
switching it on?
653
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:43,794
Very good!
654
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:51,468
Yeah, that was a fun game.
655
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,860
- Excellent!
- Can you come at six?
656
00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:10,654
- Yeah, I can.
- That'll be great, yes.
657
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,364
Oh, that'll be super.
658
00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:24,918
Ooh, I'm really hot.
I could do with a shower.
659
00:58:25,002 --> 00:58:26,586
Right, which one of us is going first?
660
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:29,631
- Is it all right if it's me?
- Oh, yes. Okay.
661
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:33,218
Woman #1:
I say, you missed a fabulous weekend.
662
00:58:33,427 --> 00:58:35,137
Woman #2:
Well, I was supposed to come.
663
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:38,056
Woman #3: Yeah, what happened to you?
Did you go to Copenhagen?
664
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:39,933
Mmm, I skipped Copenhagen.
665
00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:41,810
- Did you?
- Where did you go?
666
00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:44,479
Um... I had a very nice weekend.
667
00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:48,358
Do you remember
that photographer guy
668
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:49,711
that I told you about ages ago?
669
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:51,655
The one that I thought
was really chic and fancy?
670
00:58:51,778 --> 00:58:53,321
The one with the very tight jeans?
671
00:58:53,488 --> 00:58:54,924
- Woman #3: The open shirts?
- Woman #2: Mm-hmm.
672
00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:57,367
Well, I got a call on Friday.
673
00:58:57,451 --> 00:58:58,785
So tell me, what happened?
674
00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:01,288
- Well, he asked me away for the weekend.
- Yes.
675
00:59:01,413 --> 00:59:04,207
So then I phoned into the agency,
claimed I was sick.
676
00:59:04,332 --> 00:59:07,377
Scrapped Copenhagen
and we went to the new forest.
677
00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:08,855
- Woman #3: Really?
- Woman #2: Mmm.
678
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:10,839
In that snazzy little
sports car of his.
679
00:59:10,964 --> 00:59:13,633
You can't do much in that
because we really tried!
680
00:59:13,759 --> 00:59:15,135
So go on. What happened?
681
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:20,390
Well, that car might well be snazzy, but
it's definitely no love bug, I tell you.
682
00:59:20,515 --> 00:59:23,852
Honestly, I think I'm so battered
and bruised from that thing,
683
00:59:23,977 --> 00:59:26,438
I'll never explain
those away to Terry.
684
00:59:26,605 --> 00:59:29,691
Anyway, so eventually,
we had to pull off the road.
685
00:59:29,816 --> 00:59:33,195
- Couldn't stand it any longer.
- Yeah, 90 on.
686
00:59:33,737 --> 00:59:34,988
Well, I tell you one thing.
687
00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:38,617
The fantasy about having it off
in a cornfleld just doesn't work.
688
00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:40,327
Woman #1: Oh, that's impossible.
689
00:59:40,452 --> 00:59:44,331
Woman #2: A, the corn's too high and b,
it's so stony you don't know what to do.
690
00:59:44,456 --> 00:59:46,666
So we gave that up
and I just got muddy.
691
00:59:46,792 --> 00:59:50,629
But I will say one thing,
he chose a really super hotel.
692
00:59:50,754 --> 00:59:53,298
And you can't tell me
any guy hadn't pre-planned that.
693
00:59:53,465 --> 00:59:55,217
He knew what
he was doing, all right.
694
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:57,803
Oh, the water's lovely and warm.
695
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:03,433
- Oh, do you know what?
- What?
696
01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:05,977
The bed there was
at least eight foot wide.
697
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:09,648
Oh, we had a super time.
698
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:12,567
I tell you something, we must have
used every inch of that bed.
699
01:00:12,734 --> 01:00:15,362
- Woman #1: Really?
- And do you know my fantasy?
700
01:00:15,487 --> 01:00:16,807
- Woman #3: What?
- Woman #1: Yes?
701
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:20,408
Well, I really did it this time.
I went through with it.
702
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:22,369
And do you know what,
it really worked.
703
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:23,995
I went into the bathroom
704
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:27,332
and I knew he thought I was going to
come out with some chic négligée on,
705
01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:29,459
but I didn't.
I did it, the full strip.
706
01:00:29,668 --> 01:00:32,754
One stocking out the door,
two stockings out the door
707
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:36,174
and brother, did that turn him on.
Oh, do you know what?
708
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:39,052
I think after that we must have
screwed for at least four hours.
709
01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:40,137
Cor!
710
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:49,479
Hello.
711
01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:22,429
Turn that engine off.
712
01:01:24,097 --> 01:01:25,849
I can't stop, blackie. I'm late.
713
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:29,519
- Yeah. Two days late, ain't he, stropper?
- Sid: What do you mean?
714
01:01:29,644 --> 01:01:31,563
We said Saturday, remember?
715
01:01:31,730 --> 01:01:34,024
We was waiting in that pub
for hours and hours.
716
01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:35,233
Look, I've got to go.
717
01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:37,736
I've got an appointment
with a very important man.
718
01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:41,114
- What are you doing?
- It's what we're gonna do.
719
01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:42,824
Cop that bike.
720
01:01:43,491 --> 01:01:46,995
- Right, this is for starters.
- Here, leave that bike alone.
721
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:51,791
Blackie: Get off that bike, you berk.
You ain't even got a licence.
722
01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:55,420
Look, it's all fixed up.
I'm doing this job for dodger.
723
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:58,965
He's gonna let me have 900 quid
by the end of next week latest.
724
01:01:59,090 --> 01:02:01,343
- What little job?
- I can't tell you, can I?
725
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:04,804
You know what line of business he's in.
You put me on to him.
726
01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:06,210
I've learned my bleedin' lesson.
727
01:02:06,306 --> 01:02:08,975
I never want to see another bookie
till the day I die.
728
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:11,519
That day may come
sooner than you think.
729
01:02:11,645 --> 01:02:12,938
Tuesday.
730
01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:15,124
Make it Tuesday. I'll tell him
it's a matter of life and death.
731
01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:16,316
It is!
732
01:02:16,816 --> 01:02:18,944
Well, look, actually, er...
733
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:20,779
He's giving me a thousand.
734
01:02:21,196 --> 01:02:23,990
- I want you to have the other hundred.
- Why?
735
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:26,076
Well...
736
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:28,161
Well, I kept you waiting, blackie.
737
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:32,123
And I don't like
owing people money, do I?
738
01:02:36,795 --> 01:02:40,465
A hundred, is it?
Right, I believe ya.
739
01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:44,844
But you'll never see Wednesday
if you let us down on Tuesday.
740
01:02:44,970 --> 01:02:48,932
Them's me last words. Hop it.
741
01:02:57,983 --> 01:03:00,610
- What happened?
- The geyser overheated.
742
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:03,989
And set off the alarm
and the sprinkler system.
743
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:07,325
- Great.
- Plain bloody bad luck.
744
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,202
The boys lost all their gear.
745
01:03:09,369 --> 01:03:11,830
Anyway, they didn't get caught
and that's what matters.
746
01:03:11,997 --> 01:03:13,498
What about me? I'm right in it.
747
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:17,002
In this game,
you take the rough with the smooth.
748
01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:19,671
Anyway, think of
the commission I lost.
749
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,340
Dodger, I've got
other things on me mind.
750
01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:24,384
I could be dead in two days.
751
01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:26,761
We'll find something for you.
752
01:03:29,889 --> 01:03:31,099
Here, look.
753
01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:34,853
Ideal! You can't fail.
It's money in your pocket.
754
01:03:34,936 --> 01:03:36,313
What is it?
755
01:03:43,737 --> 01:03:45,423
Christ! These are
a bit strong, aren't they?
756
01:03:45,447 --> 01:03:48,366
Well, the gentleman in question
has been a naughty boy
757
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,594
and I don't suppose for one moment
he'd like the pictures
758
01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:52,704
to go to his dear wife.
759
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:55,457
So, wander round
and offer him the negatives.
760
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:58,418
Go for the highest price.
I'd start about 5,000.
761
01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:02,797
- That's blackmail.
- Blackmail?
762
01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:06,259
Blackmail, Sidney, is an ugly word.
763
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,678
You are a salesman.
764
01:04:08,762 --> 01:04:12,223
You have a commodity,
so you take it to the highest bidder.
765
01:04:12,307 --> 01:04:15,560
If the first potential customer
doesn't want to know,
766
01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:18,521
you go to
the second potential customer.
767
01:04:18,646 --> 01:04:21,775
- Sounds all right when you put it like that.
- 'Course it does.
768
01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:24,027
This charteris is a rich man.
769
01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:26,738
He's got a string
of massage parlours.
770
01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:28,823
He's the answer to all your problems.
771
01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:31,576
But a lot depends
on how you handle the sale.
772
01:04:31,659 --> 01:04:33,870
So, put on your best suit.
773
01:04:33,953 --> 01:04:36,623
Cut a dash. Look prosperous.
774
01:04:36,706 --> 01:04:38,917
Tell him it's big business.
775
01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:40,377
Impress him.
776
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:43,713
I haven't got a suit.
777
01:04:57,519 --> 01:04:59,813
"And, under the terms
of the settlement,
778
01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:04,067
"one half of the net profits
are incorporated in the agreement.
779
01:05:04,192 --> 01:05:07,278
"I am, however,
negotiating a cash settlement,
780
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:10,448
"but, until this has been sorted out,
I'm not in a position
781
01:05:10,532 --> 01:05:13,660
"to discuss any new
partnership agreement.
782
01:05:13,868 --> 01:05:19,249
"I'll be in touch with you immediately
the situation has been ratified.
783
01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:22,794
"Yours sincerely, ar charteris."
784
01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:25,130
A mr south is outside.
He'd like to have a word with you.
785
01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:26,464
Oh, who the hell is he?
786
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:29,134
You know I don't see anybody
except by appointment.
787
01:05:29,217 --> 01:05:31,219
But I told him
and he wouldn't go away.
788
01:05:31,344 --> 01:05:34,973
He asked me to give you this.
He said you'd understand.
789
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:38,393
Yes. I think I do understand.
790
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,229
Um...
Show mr south in, will you?
791
01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:45,024
Ooh, by the way,
what's belinda doing?
792
01:05:45,108 --> 01:05:48,695
Oh, well, nothing at the moment.
One of her clients just cancelled.
793
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:51,489
- Mr charteris will see you.
- Ah, mr, er...
794
01:05:52,532 --> 01:05:54,451
- South.
- Mr south.
795
01:05:54,534 --> 01:05:56,244
Now, while I'm getting dressed,
796
01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:59,622
I'd like you to enjoy
a vigorating massage on the house.
797
01:05:59,747 --> 01:06:01,708
No, thanks. I've come
to discuss business.
798
01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:04,114
Yes, of course, but I'd like you
to be completely relaxed,
799
01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,880
so you'll be
in a better condition to...
800
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,256
Discuss business.
801
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:12,719
Yeah, all right.
802
01:06:13,219 --> 01:06:15,972
But I'm a busy man, mr charteris.
803
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:18,391
I wanna get this matter
over and done with.
804
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:22,270
I hope you fully appreciate
the delicacy of the situation.
805
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:24,856
You are a reasonable man,
I understand?
806
01:06:24,898 --> 01:06:27,692
Oh, I am, mr south. I am.
807
01:06:27,775 --> 01:06:30,320
Just lie down there
and enjoy yourself.
808
01:06:30,445 --> 01:06:33,823
Come and see me in my office
when you've finished.
809
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:47,378
What's your name then, eh?
810
01:06:48,922 --> 01:06:50,215
Not speakin'?
811
01:06:51,049 --> 01:06:52,634
That's all right.
812
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,844
I like a bit of mystery in my women.
813
01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:55,970
Not too much, though.
814
01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:57,722
Ooh, that's nice.
815
01:07:00,725 --> 01:07:02,268
Ooh!
816
01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:10,235
Ooh! I'll tell you what.
817
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,322
You can eat crackers
in my bed any time, eh?
818
01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:25,416
Oh, Christ!
819
01:07:31,464 --> 01:07:34,133
Me leg! You're breaking me leg!
820
01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:36,135
You'll break me leg!
821
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:39,973
Get off! Get off! Oh, get off!
822
01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:46,729
No! No, no, no. No! No! Ooh! Ah!
823
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:49,065
Ah! Ooh! Ow!
824
01:07:49,148 --> 01:07:51,484
No, no! Not that! No!
825
01:07:59,534 --> 01:08:00,618
Easy!
826
01:08:10,545 --> 01:08:12,297
Enjoying yourself?
827
01:08:12,839 --> 01:08:15,967
And that'll teach you to try
blackmailing me, you little bastard.
828
01:08:16,134 --> 01:08:18,136
And you can tell whoever it was
who sent you
829
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:20,346
that they can stuff
the rest of those photographs
830
01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:22,616
because they're not worth
the paper they're printed on.
831
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,434
Well, your wife!
What about your wife?
832
01:08:24,517 --> 01:08:27,645
I haven't got one.
We were divorced a year ago.
833
01:08:31,316 --> 01:08:33,943
- Hello, dodger.
- Hello, Sidney!
834
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,905
Charteris was divorced a year ago.
835
01:08:37,989 --> 01:08:39,907
Why don't you
get your records straight?
836
01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:42,833
- I nearly had me bleedin' neck broken.
- The story of my life, Sidney.
837
01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:44,746
You know,
I never could get nothing straight.
838
01:08:44,871 --> 01:08:47,957
I'm not interested in your life, dodger.
I'm at death's door.
839
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:50,251
Well, don't panic, Sidney.
I mean, um...
840
01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:52,021
Old dodger
will pull something out of the hat.
841
01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:53,963
How do you think I've survived so far?
842
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:55,247
That's a bloody good question.
843
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:58,551
Look, I've got something special
for you, Sidney.
844
01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:02,722
A certain gentleman, whose
Name cannot be divulged,
845
01:09:02,847 --> 01:09:04,849
but who is not short
of a small fortune or two,
846
01:09:04,974 --> 01:09:08,436
is desirous of laying his hands
on a, um... certain work of art.
847
01:09:08,561 --> 01:09:10,897
- Eh?
- Have you heard of Picasso?
848
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:15,276
Now look, I'm not havin'
anything to do with the mafia.
849
01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:17,403
The mafia! He's pig ignorant.
850
01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:20,448
Picasso is one of
the greatest painters ever.
851
01:09:20,573 --> 01:09:21,991
And one of his masterpieces
852
01:09:22,075 --> 01:09:24,744
is hanging on the wall of
a mansion not very far from here.
853
01:09:24,869 --> 01:09:25,703
Go on.
854
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:29,207
I want you, dear Sidney,
to obtain it by fair means or foul.
855
01:09:29,332 --> 01:09:31,918
And hang in its place this copy,
856
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:34,754
which I've had prepared
at great expense.
857
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:36,923
Oh, you're not asking me
to pinch a painting?
858
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:38,716
I'm not asking you
to pinch a painting.
859
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,219
I'm asking you
to arrange a swapping.
860
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:44,180
- And what happens when they find out?
- "Find out"!
861
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:47,767
They couldn't tell a Picasso
from a giraffe's arse-o.
862
01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:50,978
How do I get into the place?
863
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:52,689
Pull the old
water board routine again.
864
01:09:52,814 --> 01:09:54,583
Say you've gone round
to check the water pressure
865
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:56,609
and, while you're at it,
suss the joint out.
866
01:09:56,693 --> 01:10:00,697
Then, having secreted this copy
somewhere about your person,
867
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:02,907
at the appropriate moment,
868
01:10:02,990 --> 01:10:04,367
swap it.
869
01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:07,286
- Swap it?
- Swap it.
870
01:10:07,537 --> 01:10:09,872
And, this time,
nothing can go wrong.
871
01:10:09,997 --> 01:10:12,750
Old dodger gives you
his personal guarantee.
872
01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:15,628
After all, it's only a swapping.
873
01:10:57,086 --> 01:10:58,686
Woman: What are you doing,
standing there
874
01:10:58,713 --> 01:11:00,339
without a drink in your hand, huh?
875
01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:03,801
Sakes alive, there's enough liquor
around here to sink a battleship.
876
01:11:03,968 --> 01:11:06,929
Lucinda, honey! There.
877
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:12,185
No-one shall ever say Loretta proudfoot
lacks one iota of southern hospitality.
878
01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:15,688
Even though she is
6,000 miles away from home.
879
01:11:15,938 --> 01:11:17,190
Oh, you're mrs proudfoot?
880
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,777
Oh! I'm sorry, honey.
I thought you were a guest.
881
01:11:20,985 --> 01:11:24,822
- Oh, no, I'm a plumber.
- A plumber. Did I call for a plumber?
882
01:11:25,156 --> 01:11:28,117
Well, the council sent me.
Your water pressure's all over the place.
883
01:11:28,326 --> 01:11:32,079
Loretta, darling.
You've been holding out on me.
884
01:11:32,497 --> 01:11:34,332
Where have you been hiding this one?
885
01:11:34,415 --> 01:11:37,084
Loretta: This is Hubert,
one of my dearest friends.
886
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:40,213
- Hubert, meet, um...
- Sid.
887
01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:44,175
Oh! What a lovely name.
888
01:11:44,217 --> 01:11:48,471
- Loretta: He's a plumber.
- A plumber! How interesting.
889
01:11:48,638 --> 01:11:52,016
Well, you can shove your plunger
round my s-bend any day.
890
01:11:53,726 --> 01:11:55,978
I'll hit you over
the bleedin' head with it.
891
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:58,314
Ooh! Any time.
892
01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:02,568
He's so butch, dear.
I'll see you later, heart-face.
893
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:06,739
Loretta:
You must forgive Hubert.
894
01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:09,575
He's not afraid to say
exactly how he feels.
895
01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:11,452
That's all right.
It don't bother me.
896
01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:14,789
Good. 'Cause I believe
in everybody being themselves.
897
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:18,876
My late husband, who was
a psychiatrist, always said
898
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:23,965
the trouble with the world
was sexual frustration.
899
01:12:25,716 --> 01:12:26,759
Very true.
900
01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:29,303
So, every now and again,
I like to have a little get-together
901
01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:32,974
where all my friends
can lose all their inhibitions.
902
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:36,936
Oh, yeah. You mean, sort of, er...
Let it all hang out?
903
01:12:37,103 --> 01:12:40,773
Exactly.
Oh, Robin, honey, this is sid.
904
01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:45,278
My! Samantha's got a sparkle
in her eye tonight, haven't you, honey?
905
01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:49,574
She's sparkling at everybody.
I can't keep her away from the men.
906
01:12:50,074 --> 01:12:52,535
And you know what I'm like.
I get so jealous.
907
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:56,706
I was in two minds about coming tonight,
but she insisted, didn't you, dear?
908
01:12:56,789 --> 01:12:59,792
Oh, she couldn't wait
to lose her inhibitions.
909
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:02,795
The moment she stepped into the room,
she took all her clothes off.
910
01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:05,464
With a body like that,
how can you blame her?
911
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:08,968
Hasn't she got
the most beautiful shape?
912
01:13:10,761 --> 01:13:12,805
- Fantastic, yeah.
- Tell me,
913
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:15,057
do you think I was right
to bring her?
914
01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:18,686
- Yeah.
- I know why you're saying that.
915
01:13:18,769 --> 01:13:20,479
You fancy her yourself,
don't you?
916
01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:21,898
Loretta: Now, now, Robin,
917
01:13:22,064 --> 01:13:26,694
sid is not a man to step in between
two people who love each other.
918
01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,655
You really must try
to stop being so jealous,
919
01:13:29,739 --> 01:13:33,743
and I mustn't keep you from
your duties for one moment longer.
920
01:14:10,321 --> 01:14:13,157
Loretta:
Enjoying yourself, honey? Fine.
921
01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:17,036
By the way, what actually
is wrong with my water?
922
01:14:17,411 --> 01:14:19,538
Um... well, it's not
running properly.
923
01:14:19,664 --> 01:14:21,791
It's throwing the whole area
out of balance.
924
01:14:29,548 --> 01:14:31,384
Woman: Get off me!
925
01:14:33,219 --> 01:14:34,637
Excuse me.
926
01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:38,975
Excuse me!
927
01:14:39,767 --> 01:14:41,560
- You've got my plunger.
- Your what?
928
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:44,188
Well, it's stuck to your ar...
Well, I'll have to have it back.
929
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:45,773
Do you mind?
930
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,318
Well, I've got to get it back.
931
01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:02,456
Okay, everyone,
it's time to go fishin'.
932
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,375
Now, you all know the rules.
933
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:07,753
Each one of you
has to fish for his or her partner.
934
01:15:07,878 --> 01:15:10,840
And once you've hooked them,
they're yours for the night.
935
01:15:10,923 --> 01:15:14,969
One, two, three,
everyone into the water!
936
01:16:08,022 --> 01:16:11,150
Hey, no! Oh, no, no! Look.
937
01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:14,904
Look, I'm only the plumber.
I'm only the plumber!
938
01:16:14,987 --> 01:16:17,531
I'm only the plumber!
939
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:29,418
My Picasso's in the water!
940
01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:31,754
Somebody fish it out.
The colours'll run.
941
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:35,633
You! You took it!
942
01:16:35,883 --> 01:16:37,885
You're not a plumber,
you're a thief!
943
01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:41,263
The police.
Somebody ring for the police!
944
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:45,559
- I'm not a thief. It belongs to me.
- Belongs to you! It's mine.
945
01:16:45,726 --> 01:16:48,896
There's not another like it
in the whole wide world.
946
01:16:48,979 --> 01:16:51,357
Your bleedin' Picasso's
hangin' on the wall.
947
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:52,733
Turn round, have a look.
948
01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:55,611
Well, what's that doing there, then?
949
01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:59,865
- Well, it's not worth tuppence, it's a copy.
- A copy!
950
01:17:00,574 --> 01:17:03,410
I know what you were gonna do!
951
01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:16,173
Samantha!
952
01:17:17,174 --> 01:17:18,843
He's killed her.
953
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:21,846
He's done her in.
954
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:29,728
- Ah! You got it.
- No, I didn't get it.
955
01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:32,231
Well, why not?
956
01:17:33,023 --> 01:17:34,316
There was a party going on,
957
01:17:34,441 --> 01:17:37,069
and one thing led to another,
and I didn't do the swap.
958
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:40,406
Look, dodger, I'm not interested
in any more of your little schemes.
959
01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:43,742
As much as I need the money, I don't
fancy spending next Christmas inside.
960
01:17:43,868 --> 01:17:46,537
Oh, well, Sidney,
remember the old saying.
961
01:17:46,745 --> 01:17:50,916
"If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, try again."
962
01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,294
I'm not tryin' anythin' else.
That's final.
963
01:17:53,419 --> 01:17:57,298
Oh, that's a shame, Sidney.
'Cause I've got a smasher here.
964
01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:59,800
You couldn't go wrong with this one.
965
01:17:59,884 --> 01:18:01,385
Tower of London.
966
01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:03,387
Dodger...
967
01:18:03,846 --> 01:18:05,514
Stuff it!
968
01:18:33,876 --> 01:18:35,377
- Good morning.
- Man: Morning.
969
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:38,881
- Do you, er... you buy bikes?
- Yeah.
970
01:18:39,089 --> 01:18:41,634
Well, what about this mighty machine
out here, then, eh?
971
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,761
I'll have a look at it.
972
01:19:00,110 --> 01:19:02,279
Done a lot of mileage, hasn't it?
973
01:19:02,404 --> 01:19:06,200
Just goes to show how honest I am.
I could have easily fixed the clock.
974
01:19:06,367 --> 01:19:07,868
Tyres are well worn.
975
01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:10,704
Oh, come on.
What's a couple of tyres?
976
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:12,998
What do you want, part exchange?
977
01:19:13,123 --> 01:19:15,459
Well, no.
I've got to sell it actually.
978
01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:17,103
I don't want to,
but I've got no choice.
979
01:19:17,127 --> 01:19:18,671
Need money in a hurry, do ya?
980
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:21,423
No, no. I know this geezer
who's selling a sports car.
981
01:19:21,548 --> 01:19:22,925
Real bargain.
982
01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:26,178
But unless I give him the money today,
no go.
983
01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:28,639
Where's the registration book?
984
01:19:32,601 --> 01:19:35,896
- Any hire purchase on it?
- Yeah, why?
985
01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:39,191
- How many payments you made?
- Two.
986
01:19:40,693 --> 01:19:43,946
You can't sell it.
It's not yours to sell.
987
01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:47,533
Well, it's my property.
I bought it, didn't I?
988
01:19:47,658 --> 01:19:51,412
It's not your property
until you've made the last payment.
989
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,999
- You mean I can't sell it anywhere?
- It's not yours to sell.
990
01:19:55,124 --> 01:19:59,336
You try selling that bike to anybody else,
and you'll get put inside.
991
01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:06,010
- Oh, you're not going away.
- Yeah. I've come to say goodbye.
992
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:08,304
I've got meself a job
on one of them oil rigs.
993
01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,264
I'll be earning thousands.
994
01:20:10,431 --> 01:20:14,643
I suppose that's good news.
When do you leave?
995
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:16,895
Today.
996
01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:22,067
- Wish I could come with ya.
- Well, I'll be back in a few months.
997
01:20:22,192 --> 01:20:24,570
Me pockets'll be bulging.
We'll have a great time.
998
01:20:24,695 --> 01:20:27,031
Go everywhere, see everything.
999
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:29,241
Man: Twenty dunhills, please.
1000
01:21:36,934 --> 01:21:38,936
Just going down the bank.
1001
01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:40,145
To get the money.
1002
01:21:40,270 --> 01:21:42,040
That's all right.
We'll walk down there with ya.
1003
01:21:42,064 --> 01:21:43,816
Keep ya company.
1004
01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:45,359
Won't we, stropper?
1005
01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:48,529
You still don't trust me, do you, eh?
1006
01:21:48,654 --> 01:21:51,281
I'm not going to emigrate.
It's only a thousand quid.
1007
01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:54,034
Well, that's all right.
We'll still walk down there with ya.
1008
01:21:54,159 --> 01:21:55,828
Guv'nor's orders.
1009
01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:59,081
Yeah, well, you don't have to
put yourselves out.
1010
01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:02,418
You sound like
you don't want us with ya, sid.
1011
01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:05,295
You're not tryin' anything on,
are ya?
1012
01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:08,590
Don't tear his clothes.
1013
01:22:08,799 --> 01:22:12,010
They'll be worth a few quid
when we get 'em off him.
1014
01:22:14,638 --> 01:22:16,390
On second thoughts.
1015
01:22:18,684 --> 01:22:20,811
Come on, blackie.
The bank'll be closed.
1016
01:22:20,936 --> 01:22:23,397
So what?
You ain't got nothing in it.
1017
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:25,023
I ain't thick.
1018
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:28,068
What's in the bag?
1019
01:22:28,193 --> 01:22:29,278
Well, it's, er...
1020
01:22:29,361 --> 01:22:32,072
It's me laundry. I pass
the laundry on the way to the bank.
1021
01:22:32,197 --> 01:22:33,532
Open it up.
1022
01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:42,749
You're dead right.
1023
01:22:44,001 --> 01:22:45,794
You ain't emigrating.
1024
01:22:45,919 --> 01:22:49,339
They don't take cripples
in these foreign countries.
1025
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:54,052
Stropper, your moment has come.
1026
01:22:57,639 --> 01:22:59,475
I never did you any harm.
1027
01:22:59,558 --> 01:23:02,895
I didn't say you did.
It's me job, innit?
1028
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:08,650
You never gave me a chance.
1029
01:23:08,734 --> 01:23:10,360
You didn't give me enough time.
1030
01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:13,363
You're breakin' me bleedin' heart.
1031
01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:14,698
Stropper!
1032
01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:19,745
Mister, this is private business.
1033
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:22,331
My apologies,
but I have to speak to mr south.
1034
01:23:22,414 --> 01:23:24,625
So do we, and we saw him first.
1035
01:23:24,708 --> 01:23:27,044
I'm from the
bovine insurance company.
1036
01:23:27,127 --> 01:23:29,087
He won't be needin' any.
Push off!
1037
01:23:29,171 --> 01:23:30,422
I'm not selling insurance.
1038
01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:32,466
Here, don't I know you?
1039
01:23:32,549 --> 01:23:33,717
I was at the police station
1040
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:36,887
when you made a statement
about that, er... lavatory seat.
1041
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:39,473
- Oh, that's right, yeah. I remember.
- Lavatory seat?
1042
01:23:39,640 --> 01:23:43,393
I'm pleased to inform you, mr south,
that you are due for the reward.
1043
01:23:43,477 --> 01:23:44,811
A thousand pounds.
1044
01:23:44,895 --> 01:23:47,814
For giving information leading to
the recovery of stolen property.
1045
01:23:47,981 --> 01:23:50,651
Now, if you'll just sign this receipt.
1046
01:23:52,778 --> 01:23:54,863
Turn your back, stropper.
1047
01:24:00,452 --> 01:24:02,746
My apologies for
the interruption, gentlemen.
1048
01:24:02,829 --> 01:24:04,081
Good day.
1049
01:24:06,208 --> 01:24:09,795
- A thousand quid.
- Where's your bank?
1050
01:24:12,923 --> 01:24:14,550
Mr rockefeller.
1051
01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:17,594
Hello, boy.
I heard all about your windfall.
1052
01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,763
Yeah, so did the bookies.
Took the lot.
1053
01:24:19,930 --> 01:24:21,530
Come on, crappie.
I'm back in the market.
1054
01:24:21,682 --> 01:24:23,976
- Got anything?
- Nothing. Get out.
1055
01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:29,314
- I'm desperate. I'll do anything.
- Anything?
1056
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:32,734
Oh, god!
1057
01:24:35,904 --> 01:24:38,031
- Anything?
- Yeah.
1058
01:24:38,198 --> 01:24:40,492
I've got something to show you.
1059
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:44,871
What is it?
1060
01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:47,499
It's a new mechanical
pipe and drain cleaner.
1061
01:24:47,666 --> 01:24:50,419
- I'm starting a new service.
- Drains?
1062
01:24:50,544 --> 01:24:51,864
- Yeah.
- Not with me, you're not.
1063
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,297
Here, hang about.
1064
01:24:53,463 --> 01:24:56,133
I was thinking of putting you
in sole charge of this.
1065
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,176
Only 'cause you can't get anyone else.
1066
01:24:58,302 --> 01:24:59,845
Yeah... no!
1067
01:25:00,345 --> 01:25:02,598
Oh, look here. Look, somebody's
gotta do it, ain't they?
1068
01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:05,934
It'll be a good rate of pay.
Plenty of overtime.
1069
01:25:08,395 --> 01:25:10,314
- All right.
- Good boy.
1070
01:25:10,439 --> 01:25:13,775
You get to learn how to handle that
machine, boy, you'll earn a lot of money.
1071
01:25:13,942 --> 01:25:16,445
It does the work ten times faster.
1072
01:25:16,528 --> 01:25:19,698
Here, try it out on our drains here.
1073
01:25:21,617 --> 01:25:23,535
Get a bit of practice.
1074
01:25:32,336 --> 01:25:35,922
- Hello, stranger.
- Wotcha, suze.
1075
01:25:36,590 --> 01:25:39,968
Yeah, well, life has been
a bit complicated lately.
1076
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:42,888
Yeah, I know.
I heard all about your troubles.
1077
01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,974
Eh, we are still friends, aren't we?
1078
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:53,023
Yeah, of course we're still friends.
Here, flick that switch, will ya?
1079
01:26:46,034 --> 01:26:49,705
-Backing vocals: J“ I'm flying j“
-male singer: J“ comin' back home again j“
1080
01:26:49,788 --> 01:26:52,833
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I won't be alone again j“
1081
01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:56,753
-j' high above j“
-j' I am celebrating j“
1082
01:26:56,837 --> 01:27:00,882
-j' my love j“
-j' to be with my baby again j“
1083
01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:04,052
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' comin' back home again j“
1084
01:27:04,136 --> 01:27:07,889
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I won't be alone again j“
1085
01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:11,309
-j' high above j“
-j' I am celebrating j“
1086
01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:14,813
backing vocals: J“ my love j“
1087
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:24,531
Singer: J“ climbin' on the 5:45
1088
01:27:24,614 --> 01:27:28,326
j“ feelin' good inside
1089
01:27:28,952 --> 01:27:31,788
j“ feel the jets comin' alive
1090
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:35,333
j“ come alive, all right
1091
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:39,337
j“ I know I said
I'd never come back again
1092
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:42,674
j“ but the city lights broke
and they done me in
1093
01:27:42,799 --> 01:27:46,094
-backing vocals: J“ I'm flying j“
-singer: J“ comin' back home again j“
1094
01:27:46,136 --> 01:27:49,431
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I won't be alone again j“
1095
01:27:49,514 --> 01:27:53,268
-j' high above j“
-j' I am celebrating j“
1096
01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:57,522
-j' my love j“
-j' to be with my baby again j“
1097
01:27:57,606 --> 01:28:00,817
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' comin' back home again j“
1098
01:28:00,942 --> 01:28:04,404
-j' I'm flying j“
-j' I won't be alone again j“
1099
01:28:04,488 --> 01:28:08,033
-j' high above j“
-j' I am celebrating j“
1100
01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:13,914
j“ my love j“
1101
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:30,130
Subtitles by powerhouse films ltd
80160
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.