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1
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,666
Nobody tells Harold
brownlow he can't get what he wants.
2
00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:42,041
Those city hall assholes
are a bunch of blowhards!
3
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,666
I don't understand why
4
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:46,416
we can't get a cab
like normal people.
5
00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,541
Hilary dear,
6
00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:51,582
you don't get as rich as I am by
giving money away to cab drivers.
7
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:56,417
Besides, our hotel is just at
the other end of this alley.
8
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,999
You're such a cheapskate.
9
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,708
Come on, woman.
10
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,249
Watch your step!
11
00:01:08,292 --> 00:01:10,541
Harold, I don't like this place.
12
00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:12,624
It smells bad.
13
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:14,791
Jesus, it's a 100 yards.
14
00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:16,541
Hold your nose or something.
15
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,916
Harold?
16
00:01:18,917 --> 00:01:20,082
Huh?
17
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,791
Boy! You're a big
son of a bitch, ain't ya?
18
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,917
Hilary. Call a cab.
19
00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:30,249
J' is it all in my mind j“
20
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,416
j' I can feel the heat j'
21
00:02:33,417 --> 00:02:35,874
j“ I'm getting hotter
than fire I
22
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:38,499
j“ from my head down
to my feet j"
23
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,582
j" 'cause I'm burning up j“
24
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,666
j " burnin' up j"
25
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:45,624
j' burnin' up tonight I
26
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,749
-j' burnin' up I
-j' burning up I
27
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:52,916
j“ burnin' up, all right j'
28
00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,874
j' I'm not feeling so well I
29
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,707
j" I'm feeling
hotter than hell I
30
00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:02,624
j' I think I got a fever j'
31
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:05,791
j' I'm begging you
please, girl j'
32
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:08,041
j' I can't cool down j'
33
00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:11,082
j' you're spinning me around,
and around j"
34
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:16,124
I and I can't fight
the ways to get to you I
35
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:18,416
j" 'cause I'm burning up j“
36
00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:21,082
j " burnin' up j"
37
00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:24,666
j“ burning up, tonight j“
38
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:27,249
-j' burnin' up I
-j' burning up I
39
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,624
j“ burnin' up, all right j'
40
00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:31,666
I I'm burning up j'
41
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,957
j " burnin' up j"
42
00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:35,458
j“ burning up, tonight j“
43
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:40,749
-j' burnin' up I
-j' burning up I
44
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:43,250
j' burning up, all right j“
45
00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,082
Hoy-hoy!
46
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:46,833
Hi-ya!
47
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,499
Stay down!
48
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,250
Automated defense
protocol initiated.
49
00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:29,957
Ya!
50
00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:46,208
Burn in hell, ninjas!
51
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:05,500
No!
52
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:13,208
Damn you, akumu!
53
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,208
Damn you!
54
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,583
Okay. Let's do this.
55
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,082
I'm here with governor atkins
56
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,416
outside pompadour's
international circus
57
00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,124
as it prepares for a midnight
performance tomorrow night,
58
00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,707
in aid of the city's homeless
59
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,957
and organized
by the governor himself.
60
00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:45,624
Good morning, governor,
and thank you for joining us.
61
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,416
My pleasure Dolly, as always.
62
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:50,582
Governor, what do
you say to your critics
63
00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,041
who say this humanitarian
gesture of yours
64
00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:55,957
is simply a smokescreen
designed to mask
65
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:59,041
some of your more
puritanical policies?
66
00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:02,874
The tabloids can call
me a puritan if they so wish.
67
00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:04,416
Ah-ha!
68
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:05,749
But it's just
a reactionary insult
69
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,499
due to my zero tolerance stance
70
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,416
on anti-social behavior.
71
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:12,666
I'm referring to the abuse
of alcohol in our society.
72
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,791
Someone has to put their head
73
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,832
above the parapet, Dolly.
74
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,832
Which is why under
my tenure as governor,
75
00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,916
I will be seeking to restrict
the opening times of bars
76
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,916
and nightclubs together with
limits on the sale of alcohol.
77
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:27,457
If that makes me
a puritan, then so be it.
78
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,082
Remember, only together,
79
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:32,249
can we make this world
a better place.
80
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,207
I'm ready when you are.
81
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,041
Fuckin' clowns.
82
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,291
All of 'em.
83
00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,249
Hey!
84
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,041
You been shooting
the appliances again?
85
00:07:53,042 --> 00:07:55,041
- Give us a kiss!
- Must be the roaches.
86
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,541
They've started packing heat.
87
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,707
Any damage and I'm
adding it to your rent!
88
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,666
Which is now overdue,
by the way.
89
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,291
You'll get your money, gussman.
90
00:08:02,292 --> 00:08:03,957
Now get out of my face.
91
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:06,000
You goddamn pervert!
92
00:08:06,042 --> 00:08:07,917
Give us a kiss!
93
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,207
Hey, hero.
94
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:17,332
Spare some change
for an old vet?
95
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,374
You again?
96
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,916
Here's a quarter.
97
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,792
Buy yourself some pants
and binaca spray.
98
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,207
This man bothering you, sir?
99
00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:29,082
Ha!
100
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,166
Who's asking?
101
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,541
Name's koslowski, sir.
102
00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:33,082
Captain schitt sent me
to meet you.
103
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,416
I'm your new partner.
104
00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:35,750
0h, Jesus.
105
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:42,249
Do you have any words of wisdom
for a rookie like me, sir?
106
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,999
Sure. Work hard.
Eat your Greens.
107
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,749
And never stick
your dick in a mangle.
108
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,042
Wait! What?
109
00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,333
Yeah!
110
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,791
Jesus h. Christ
on a hippity-hop.
111
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,874
What the hell is
going on in this city?
112
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,124
That's the twelfth disappearance
in as many weeks.
113
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,832
At least this time
we have a witness, sir.
114
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,542
If she ever comes round.
115
00:09:06,833 --> 00:09:08,249
Shit! Not again!
116
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:11,499
Goddamn it!
Where the hell is steel!?
117
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,541
Um, I think he's
breaking in that
118
00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:15,332
new partner you sent him, sir.
119
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,375
Hmm. I wonder how
that's working out?
120
00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:23,083
Probably quite badly.
121
00:09:53,917 --> 00:09:56,166
Can I just say it's a real
honor to work with you, sir.
122
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,208
Okay, let's get one thing
straight, kid.
123
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:02,916
I don't like you.
124
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:06,999
Who the fuck is this guy?
125
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,749
And before you start,
126
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,830
it's not because you're
a rookie or any of that crap.
127
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,667
The fact is
I don't much like anybody.
128
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,749
I know what you're thinking.
129
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,124
You're thinking that
this tough exterior
130
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,541
is just my way of...
131
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,708
Breaking in a new partner
132
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,541
and that after a while,
the bickering
133
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,457
and mutual dislike of each other
134
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,624
will turn into admiration,
135
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:41,167
and who knows,
maybe even respect.
136
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,750
Well, I got news
for you, butthorn.
137
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:50,167
That ain't gonna happen,
you hear me?
138
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,958
Sweet baby Jesus!
139
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:59,207
I'm a Maverick, renegade,
140
00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,457
- loose Cannon...
- Look out!
141
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,499
Lone wolf cop on the edge.
142
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,583
Who doesn't play by the rules
143
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,374
and I work alone!
144
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,417
- Got it?
- Uh-huh.
145
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:15,916
Oh, and it's
probably a good idea
146
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:17,958
- to get your affairs in order.
- Huh!
147
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,582
Say goodbye to loved ones
and so forth.
148
00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,542
My partners don't exactly
have a long shelf life
149
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:34,125
if you know what I mean.
150
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,875
Oh!
151
00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:40,957
Don't do drugs.
152
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,124
What the hell is wrong with you?
153
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,750
Anyway, enjoy the ride!
154
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:04,625
So. We clear?
155
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,707
Uh-huh!
156
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,499
What the hell
were you thinking?!
157
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,832
Do you have any idea
how much damage you caused?
158
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,499
More than a little
but less than a lot?
159
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,957
Have you read this?!
160
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:18,499
"Beleaguered police captain
Jack schitt
161
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,499
about as much use as
a chocolate condom!"
162
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,624
That's harsh.
And a little racist.
163
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,541
You're lucky I don't
assign you to desk duties!
164
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,666
Come on, captain.
The last time I picked up a pen
165
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,416
it was to stab a
rapist in the nut sack!
166
00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:30,832
I mean it, steel!
You're this close to being gone.
167
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,124
- On what grounds?!
- Listening to hair metal
168
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:35,124
in that souped-up
penis extension of yours
169
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:36,957
and really shitty driving!
170
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,249
What the hell happened to you?
You used to be one of us!
171
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,332
Out there kicking ass
and taking names!
172
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,624
Now you just sit
behind that desk
173
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,041
sticking pencils up your ass!
174
00:12:44,042 --> 00:12:45,874
I do not stick
pencils up my ass!
175
00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:47,874
And koslowski!? I mean, come on!
176
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,541
How many partners is that!?
177
00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:51,374
The kid just wasn't
ready for the mean streets!
178
00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:52,999
Steel, he shot himself.
179
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,792
Damn rookies!
180
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,624
This lone wolf bullshit of
yours has gone on long enough.
181
00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:59,791
You will work with a partner
even if it kills me!
182
00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:01,624
- Shit.
- The whole precinct
183
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:03,374
threatened to walk out
if I tried to partner you
184
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,374
with any more of them so
I've had to go further afield.
185
00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:07,041
You have a choice,
a Swedish female recruit
186
00:13:07,042 --> 00:13:09,124
from the cultural
exchange program,
187
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,624
a hyperactive monkey
called Mr. Giggles,
188
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,749
or the office cheese plant!
Your call!
189
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,291
This is fuckin' stupid.
190
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:17,791
Okay, I'll work with a partner
191
00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:19,582
if you go one round
of "face or balls".
192
00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:21,832
Damn it, steel! I don't have
time for this shit!
193
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,249
Face or balls.
194
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,499
Okay.
195
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,207
It'll have to be face.
196
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,333
My wife is starting to wonder
why my balls are blue.
197
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,332
Yeah!
198
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,375
Okay, steel. Pick a partner!
199
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:37,082
I guess I'll go for
the Swedish broad.
200
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,957
You can send her in now.
201
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,041
Hi, welcome to the team.
202
00:13:52,042 --> 00:13:54,082
No Chuck, that's Gloria,
my new secretary.
203
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,791
That's your new partner.
204
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:56,957
Oh!
205
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,791
Huh?
206
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:00,166
I work alone!
207
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,707
Steel, say hello
to officer Ingrid klutz.
208
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,207
Is the monkey still an option?
209
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,249
Nope.
210
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:07,958
Hello?
211
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:10,707
Yes.
212
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:13,041
Yeah? Well, fuck you, too!
213
00:14:13,042 --> 00:14:14,666
That was the hospital.
214
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,143
Billionaire industrialist,
Harold brownlow
215
00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:17,791
disappeared last night
216
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,166
and his wife was chased
not oncoming traffic.
217
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,082
Seems she's
regained consciousness.
218
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,749
This is serious, steel.
219
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,082
Brownlow was a personal
friend of the governor.
220
00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:25,749
That guy's a goddamn lizard!
221
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,207
Damn it, steel!
222
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:28,666
I am not in the mood
for your another one
223
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,332
of your paranoid
conspiracy theories
224
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,249
about how the world is being
run by shape shifting
225
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:33,874
illuminati lizards
from another dimension!
226
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,207
Do you hear me?!
227
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,791
You'll be sorry. Mark my words.
228
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,291
Get your ass over
to the hospital
229
00:14:38,292 --> 00:14:39,624
and get the wife's story.
230
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,041
We need to find whoever did this
231
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,832
or the governor's
gonna have my ass!
232
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:45,624
Don't worry, captain,
your ass is safe in my hands.
233
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:46,874
No, wait a second...
234
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,375
Get out of here!
235
00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,207
I'd open a window if I were you.
236
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:54,166
One more thing, steel.
237
00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:57,166
Do these pants
make my ass look big?
238
00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,749
Hey, what are you doing?
239
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,291
I'm a very important person!
240
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:08,332
This place
is a fucking freak show.
241
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,082
Ah, officer steel.
242
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,791
I've been meaning to find you.
243
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:13,416
You missed our session again.
244
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,124
Blow it out
your ass, chump knuckles!
245
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:18,499
You can't keep avoiding me,
officer steel!
246
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,499
Okay, let's get
one thing straight.
247
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,207
I don't like you.
And before you start,
248
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,791
it's not because you're a woman
or any of that horse shit.
249
00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,624
The fact is
I don't much like anybody.
250
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,541
I know what your thinking,
you're thinking that
251
00:15:28,542 --> 00:15:30,666
this tough exterior...
252
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,249
Is just my way in
breaking in a new partner
253
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,750
and after a while,
the bickering...
254
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:38,792
Dr. Rosenpenis to proctology.
255
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:41,042
Calling doctor rosenpenis.
256
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,041
Hi, I'm Chuck steel.
257
00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:45,791
This is my partner Ingrid klutz.
258
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:48,291
Work partner!
No way would I touch that!
259
00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:49,666
Hell no.
260
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:52,624
Um, I'm here to see
Mrs. Brownlow.
261
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:54,041
Room seven.
262
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,332
Across the hall.
263
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,957
Say, sweet cakes,
264
00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:58,916
how about when I'm done here
we go out somewhere?
265
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,874
I know a great
monster truck festival.
266
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:02,124
I'm busy.
267
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,332
What about Monday?
268
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,749
I'm filing my tax return.
269
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:05,957
Tuesday?
270
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:07,291
I'm burying my dog.
271
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:08,707
Wednesday?
272
00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:10,999
Wednesdays,
I stick pins in my ass.
273
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,166
You're trying to tell me
something aren't you?
274
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:17,667
Call for back up, lesbian!
275
00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:26,417
Help!
276
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:28,957
Freeze, fudge sucker!
277
00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:30,708
- Huh?
- Huh?
278
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:34,167
Die, harlot of darkness! Die!
279
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,207
You're busted, slime ball!
280
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,707
Uh, somebody's used this.
281
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:50,832
Well, thanks for
the speedy back up, Igor!
282
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,291
Okay, old man, start talking!
283
00:16:58,292 --> 00:17:00,249
You have made
a terrible mistake.
284
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,957
That lady must be destroyed!
285
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:05,082
According to immigration,
you are one Abraham Van rental.
286
00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:06,707
That your real name?
287
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,291
She has been bitten.
288
00:17:08,292 --> 00:17:10,291
In a few hours, her
transformation will be complete
289
00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:12,957
and she will be consumed
with an unholy bloodlust.
290
00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:14,457
Okay...
291
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:17,082
Tell me, you've heard
of vampires, no?
292
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:18,332
Sure.
293
00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:19,957
But have you ever heard of...
294
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:22,291
Trampires?!
295
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,874
You mean like a woman
who tears out your heart
296
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,332
and sucks you dry?
297
00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,749
Um, no.
298
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,457
I mean tramps in
the sense of hobos,
299
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,416
derelicts, stinky
street folk, you know.
300
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,541
Not tramps as in harlots
or ladies of the night,
301
00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:34,582
although they, too,
can be affected.
302
00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:36,166
Anyway, I digress...
Where was I?
303
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:37,332
Trampires?
304
00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:38,416
Ah, yes.
305
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,374
Trampires are an aberration.
306
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,167
Half vampire, half tramp.
307
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,416
Although in this country,
I think you call them bums,
308
00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:46,291
but bumires doesn't
make any sense.
309
00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:48,249
We wouldn't want that now.
310
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,957
Many centuries ago
in transylvania,
311
00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,082
vampires ruled over the land.
312
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,166
They were the
aristocracy of the time
313
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:59,207
and they fed off the blood of
the peasants without question.
314
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:02,082
But, around 1400 ad
315
00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:04,374
everything got a bit PC
316
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,416
and their way of life
was deemed unacceptable.
317
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,749
Ooh!
318
00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,541
They were driven out
and destined to spend eternity
319
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,874
wandering the land
as reviled outcasts...
320
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,541
Up yours!
321
00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:19,166
Condemned to a life of darkness
322
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,666
and of eating half-eaten
burgers out of bins.
323
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,208
When this happened,
they got really depressed
324
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,041
and took to drinking heavily.
325
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,041
Over the years, this
constant binge drinking,
326
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,791
especially on weekends,
327
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:33,416
caused their
metabolism to mutate
328
00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:35,499
until their craving for blood
329
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,167
and their craving for cheap
booze became entwined.
330
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,832
Thus, the trampire was born!
331
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:44,624
Are you on drugs?
332
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:45,916
I can prove it to you.
333
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,499
Tell me, am I right in saying
334
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,374
that before each of
the victims disappeared
335
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,791
they had recently attended
a party or social gathering
336
00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:54,541
which would have involved a large
amount of alcohol consumption?
337
00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,749
Go on.
338
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:57,457
It is the same in every case.
339
00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,832
The trampires are only
attracted to victims
340
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,917
who are completely
ripped to the tits.
341
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,374
You don't believe me!
342
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,916
Wait!
343
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:08,124
Fruit cake.
344
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,791
Where are you going? Come back!
345
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,332
The trampires are real!
346
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,041
They are out there!
347
00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:15,582
And with every new victim,
their ranks grow ever stronger!
348
00:19:15,583 --> 00:19:17,250
I believe you.
349
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,499
Oops.
350
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:22,792
Sorry.
351
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,874
See you on the gun range, Igor.
352
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,874
Ah, steel, there you are.
353
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,582
I hear you have
a suspect in custody?
354
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,207
Yeah. Old guy.
355
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,082
Looks like Sherlock Holmes'
retarded brother.
356
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,749
Speedy work! On another matter,
357
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,749
how's the anger management
therapy going?
358
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,332
Oh, you know. Pretty good.
359
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,291
Been dealing with a lot
of feelings and stuff.
360
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:45,916
You know, emotions and shit?
361
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:47,499
Cut the crap, steel!
362
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,332
I know you haven't been
to a single session!
363
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,332
I've been busy. I'm in
the middle of alphabetizing
364
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:52,957
my cock rock collection.
365
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,416
I don't need any more
"cops on the edge"
366
00:19:54,417 --> 00:19:56,082
in this precinct, steel!
367
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:57,457
So you'd better start
revealing your inner child
368
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,666
to this lady, or...
369
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,041
Let me guess, it's my ass?
370
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:01,457
No, it's your badge
and your gun!
371
00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:04,499
You can shove
your ass up your ass!
372
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,041
It doesn't even make any sense!
373
00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:08,166
I'm in charge!
I don't need to make sense!
374
00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,791
Face or balls?
375
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:10,832
Jeez.
376
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,166
Okay. Balls.
377
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,624
I can't take
any more head shots.
378
00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:14,957
My neurologist said
I have an aneurysm
379
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,374
the size of a tennis ball.
380
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:19,457
Jesus!
381
00:20:19,458 --> 00:20:21,458
I think I split my ball bag!
382
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,582
Hmm, so you said you feel like...
383
00:20:58,208 --> 00:20:59,707
Hmm, so you said
you feel like this
384
00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:02,332
every waking minute
of every day?
385
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:03,749
Pretty much, yeah.
386
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:04,957
Is that it?
387
00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:06,457
Please relax, officer steel.
388
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,417
If these sessions
are to be of any use,
389
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:11,124
I require the patient
to be a willing participant.
390
00:21:11,125 --> 00:21:12,541
I'm here aren't I?
391
00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:14,332
Under duress, I suspect.
392
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:15,874
Look, do you want
0 do this or not?
393
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,291
'Cause I got better
things to do, lady.
394
00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,124
Believe it or not,
I'm here to help.
395
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,124
Oh, is that right? Well, I've
seen what your kind of help
396
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:22,957
is doing to the rest
of this department!
397
00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:24,957
We've got maloney
so "emotionally liberated"
398
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,624
that if some
street punk shot him,
399
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,166
he'd probably apologize
for bleeding so much!
400
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,291
Martinez is so in touch
with his inner child
401
00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:32,416
that he won't go anywhere
without a diaper
402
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,666
and Sanchez is so in tune
with his sexual identity
403
00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:37,374
that he's taken to wearing
a gimp mask on stakeouts!
404
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:38,957
And as for the captain,
405
00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:40,749
that's really starting
to scare me!
406
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,082
I'm sorry if you don't like
my methods, officer steel,
407
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,457
but I also have a job to do.
408
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:47,874
And that job is bringing
emotionally scarred
409
00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:49,458
police officers like yourself
410
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,791
back from the brink
of self destruction.
411
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:53,207
Well, I like being
on the "brink"!
412
00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,207
In fact, I'm thinking
of buying a house there.
413
00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:56,874
It's a little farther
from the "edge"
414
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,624
than I would have liked
but I can always commute!
415
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,832
This conversation
is getting us nowhere.
416
00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:03,707
Let's start over, shall we?
417
00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:05,499
Tell me about your wife.
418
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,707
Huh?
419
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:07,874
There's nothing to tell.
420
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:09,582
I had a wife and now I don't!
421
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,749
That's it. Can I go now?
422
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:12,999
What happened to her?
423
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,332
She was killed. Okay?
424
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,041
She's gone.
425
00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:18,249
She was murdered by
a piece of shit ninja warlord
426
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,249
by the name of akumu.
427
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:22,582
What happened to this akumu?
428
00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:24,291
Didn't you try to find him?
429
00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:25,916
What are you saying?
430
00:22:25,917 --> 00:22:27,499
You saying I don't know
how to do my job? Huh?
431
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,041
No. I'm simply...
432
00:22:29,042 --> 00:22:30,832
You saying I didn't
love my wife? Are you?
433
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,624
I think we should leave
things there for today.
434
00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:34,249
I can see you're
becoming agitated.
435
00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,832
This ain't agitated, lady,
436
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:39,082
believe me you don't
want to see me agitated.
437
00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:41,791
You know, there's no shame
in having emotions
438
00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:43,249
other than rage.
439
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:45,541
I hope you'll come
to see that eventually.
440
00:22:45,542 --> 00:22:47,499
Don't hold your breath,
sugar tits.
441
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,667
I'll have a fire in my belly
till I'm dust in the wind.
442
00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:55,417
What a prick!
443
00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:28,499
J' slippin' away j'
444
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:31,833
Every police officer...
445
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,957
J' he pulled the shades I
446
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,374
I locking out the neon lights I
447
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,166
I the room was dark I
448
00:23:43,167 --> 00:23:44,999
Police are
searching right now...
449
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,832
I our shadows danced
in perfect time I
450
00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:53,667
I to what was
for this moment mine I
451
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,957
I we're on the edge I
452
00:23:58,958 --> 00:24:01,582
I reachin' the point I
453
00:24:01,583 --> 00:24:03,666
I of no return I
454
00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,124
I caught in a web I
455
00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:07,958
I daring to touch I
456
00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:09,958
shut up!
457
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,715
I you know I'm not afraid
of your night moves I
458
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,173
I you know I'm not afraid
of your night moves I
459
00:24:30,542 --> 00:24:33,167
I dangerous games we play I
460
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:37,958
I you know I'm not afraid I
461
00:24:41,376 --> 00:24:42,832
I secret ways I
462
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:45,249
I always having to pretend I
463
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:49,332
I we play the game I
464
00:24:50,625 --> 00:24:52,792
I outraged innocence I
465
00:24:55,208 --> 00:24:56,791
I we're on the edge I
466
00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:01,332
I reachin' the point
of no return I
467
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,457
I daring to touchl
468
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:06,082
I is it the love of the danger I
469
00:25:06,083 --> 00:25:09,708
I or the danger of the love I
470
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:23,500
I you know I'm not afraid
of your night moves I
471
00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:29,332
I dangerous games we play I
472
00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:32,542
I but you know I'm not afraid I
473
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:53,542
Oops.
474
00:25:58,542 --> 00:25:59,708
Huh?
475
00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:11,624
Steel here.
476
00:26:11,625 --> 00:26:13,457
Steel, the shit
just hit the fan!
477
00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:14,707
There's been 12 more attacks
478
00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:16,499
in the space of four minutes.
479
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,416
Plus, that guy
you arrested has escaped.
480
00:26:18,417 --> 00:26:20,416
- Maloney?
- Maloney.
481
00:26:20,417 --> 00:26:22,457
That guy is about
as useful as yesterday's piss!
482
00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,499
We think he might be
heading back to the hospital.
483
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,999
Get over there now.
484
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,624
Anything happens
to the brownlow woman
485
00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:29,082
and the governor
is gonna wall mount my ass
486
00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,207
in his hunting lodge!
487
00:26:30,208 --> 00:26:32,916
Lizard.
488
00:26:32,917 --> 00:26:35,332
Sometimes I worry about
that man's state of mind.
489
00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:37,416
Sir, your tits are crooked.
490
00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:39,624
Oh, thanks.
491
00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:02,250
Now you're going to get it.
492
00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:07,707
Who dares
to enter my dwelling place?
493
00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:11,457
It is I, foul wench,
Abraham Van rental.
494
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:14,082
I have returned to
send your cursed soul
495
00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:16,624
back to the boiling hell
from whence it came.
496
00:27:16,625 --> 00:27:18,625
Puny human fool!
497
00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:21,457
You shall never be
rid of my kind!
498
00:27:21,458 --> 00:27:24,416
As long as people
keep getting shit-faced
499
00:27:24,417 --> 00:27:27,708
they will be the prey
of the trampire!
500
00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:32,832
Talking of which,
I'm dying of thirst.
501
00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,207
Have you been drinking today?
502
00:27:35,208 --> 00:27:37,874
Well I... I had a glass of wine
at lunchtime but that's all.
503
00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:40,749
That will have to suffice.
504
00:27:40,750 --> 00:27:42,166
Come to me.
505
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:43,749
I thirst.
506
00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:45,958
You cannot mesmerize me!
I'm British!
507
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,208
I am yours, succubus.
508
00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:00,624
Oh, thank god!
509
00:28:00,625 --> 00:28:02,499
That crazy man is back!
510
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,666
I... I think he's
trying to molest her!
511
00:28:04,667 --> 00:28:06,750
Okay, step back.
I'll handle this.
512
00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:11,208
Freeze!
513
00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,791
Damn you!
514
00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,291
I was about to get some.
515
00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,082
No, it's not what it looks like.
516
00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,707
- She is a...
- A trampire. Yeah, I know.
517
00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:22,916
You believe me?
518
00:28:22,917 --> 00:28:24,582
I don't know what I believe.
519
00:28:24,583 --> 00:28:25,916
All I know is there's
some weird shit going down
520
00:28:25,917 --> 00:28:27,499
and I can't explain it.
521
00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:30,582
So for now, everyone
stay calm and nobody move.
522
00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:33,332
Is that supposed to be funny?
523
00:28:33,333 --> 00:28:34,541
We are too late.
524
00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:35,999
She has already turned.
525
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,499
There is nothing
we can do for her now.
526
00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,875
Come closer, pretty one,
527
00:28:39,917 --> 00:28:45,082
so that I may feast
on your exquisite veins.
528
00:28:45,083 --> 00:28:46,582
No thanks. I gave at the office.
529
00:28:46,583 --> 00:28:49,249
You will pay for your insolence!
530
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,624
The check's in the mail.
531
00:28:50,625 --> 00:28:52,832
Let's get some light in here.
532
00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:54,124
No!
533
00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:55,332
What the hell?
534
00:29:01,042 --> 00:29:02,166
Huh?
535
00:29:02,167 --> 00:29:03,749
Die, hell-bitch, die!
536
00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,374
Uh, okay, doc, take it easy.
537
00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:08,541
The master will
make you pay for this!
538
00:29:08,542 --> 00:29:11,082
- He is coming soon!
- Huh?
539
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:14,792
You shall all pay
with your souls!
540
00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:19,667
Wait! Close the curtains!
541
00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:23,292
Oh, shit.
542
00:29:31,875 --> 00:29:33,582
Oh, flaps.
543
00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:34,791
What's wrong?
544
00:29:34,792 --> 00:29:36,291
She spoke of the master.
545
00:29:36,292 --> 00:29:38,375
This could be worse
than I thought.
546
00:29:41,333 --> 00:29:44,416
Well, she ain't gonna
tell us anything now.
547
00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:47,957
- Huh?
- Agh!
548
00:29:47,958 --> 00:29:49,541
Get it off me!
It's biting my nose!
549
00:29:49,542 --> 00:29:51,000
Get it off me!
550
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,458
Help me!
551
00:29:55,458 --> 00:29:56,875
Hold still!
552
00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,000
Take it off!
553
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,874
Oh, god!
554
00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:08,958
Help me! Help me,
you great lummox!
555
00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:12,625
Now, this might hurt a little.
556
00:30:15,292 --> 00:30:16,375
Sorry.
557
00:30:20,167 --> 00:30:21,457
- Huh?
- Argh!
558
00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:22,917
Not the hair! Not the hair!
559
00:30:25,083 --> 00:30:27,124
Get it away from me!
560
00:30:33,375 --> 00:30:34,541
Huh?
561
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:35,875
Mummy!
562
00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:41,500
Huh?
563
00:30:46,042 --> 00:30:48,125
I love you.
564
00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:01,541
Come on, you little bastard!
565
00:31:01,542 --> 00:31:02,707
I'll tan your ass!
566
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:11,916
I'm stuck!
567
00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:13,750
Yo! Bat thing!
568
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:16,166
Come on.
569
00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:28,207
Do you like that, huh?
570
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,416
Is that what you want?
571
00:31:33,875 --> 00:31:35,707
It's not what it looks like.
572
00:31:35,708 --> 00:31:37,666
Somebody get some help!
573
00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:40,249
What the fuck!
574
00:31:40,250 --> 00:31:41,499
Damn it, steel!
575
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,582
That was our only witness!
576
00:31:42,583 --> 00:31:44,041
What in the hell happened?!
577
00:31:44,042 --> 00:31:45,957
Well, captain, first she
turned into a trampire
578
00:31:45,958 --> 00:31:47,499
so we opened the drapes.
579
00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:48,874
Then she turned into
a bat and bit my nose
580
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,916
so I killed her with a pencil.
581
00:31:50,917 --> 00:31:53,416
What?! And how could you lose
another partner for Christ's sake!
582
00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:56,041
I just got my ass chewed out
by the Swedish ambassador!
583
00:31:57,792 --> 00:32:00,041
Now that wasn't my fault.
She was a real clumsy broad.
584
00:32:00,042 --> 00:32:01,832
And what the hell
is it with your nose, steel?
585
00:32:01,833 --> 00:32:03,791
You look like
Karl Malden on steroids!
586
00:32:03,792 --> 00:32:05,791
He has been bitten
by one of them!
587
00:32:05,792 --> 00:32:08,207
Soon, the poison will work
its way through his body.
588
00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:11,499
By midnight tonight he will have
become a creature of darkness
589
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,832
whose only goal is to attack
590
00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:14,957
drunk people coming out of bars!
591
00:32:14,958 --> 00:32:16,707
Who the fuck is this guy?
592
00:32:16,708 --> 00:32:18,124
Look, it's a long story,
captain.
593
00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:19,499
Just give me till midnight.
594
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:21,041
If I haven't found
this psycho by then,
595
00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:22,457
you can personally drive
a stake through my heart.
596
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:24,499
- Liver.
- What?
597
00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:26,749
To kill a trampire, you must
Pierce the liver, not the heart.
598
00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:27,874
Whatever.
599
00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:29,582
So what do you say, captain?
600
00:32:29,583 --> 00:32:31,332
It's tempting, but I'm
sorry, steel, not this time.
601
00:32:31,333 --> 00:32:33,207
You're off the case, as of now.
602
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:35,374
I'm putting you on security
detail at the circus tonight!
603
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:36,582
To hell with that!
604
00:32:36,583 --> 00:32:38,082
I ain't no goddamn clown!
605
00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:39,582
Steel, you're lucky to get that!
606
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,416
I've just got your psych report.
607
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:43,624
Dr. Cular says you've got too
many unresolved anger issues
608
00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,166
because of what happened
to your wife.
609
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,957
How many times do
I have to tell you people?
610
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:51,666
I do not have a
goddamned anger problem!
611
00:32:53,833 --> 00:32:55,249
Damn it, steel!
612
00:32:55,250 --> 00:32:57,082
You're the best
goddamn cop on the force
613
00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:59,541
but when are you going to
realize it's not 1985 anymore!
614
00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:02,582
Now where was I?
615
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:04,207
You were about to go
one round of "face or balls".
616
00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,624
I was?
617
00:33:05,625 --> 00:33:07,025
Sure you were.
You heard him, right?
618
00:33:07,917 --> 00:33:08,999
Yes.
619
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,416
Uh, okay.
620
00:33:10,417 --> 00:33:12,041
It'll have to be face this time.
621
00:33:12,042 --> 00:33:14,249
My prostate's pulsing
like a son of a bitch.
622
00:33:15,708 --> 00:33:17,374
You're gonna have
to tell me the rules
623
00:33:17,375 --> 00:33:19,207
to this game one day, steel,
624
00:33:19,208 --> 00:33:21,166
'cause I'm sure I said face.
625
00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:22,374
Oh, sorry.
626
00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:27,291
Well, that should
buy us a few hours.
627
00:33:27,292 --> 00:33:28,833
Let's go. I have a plan.
628
00:33:32,292 --> 00:33:33,875
Okay, giggles, you're up!
629
00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,416
Let's get one thing straight.
630
00:33:37,417 --> 00:33:39,124
I don't like you.
631
00:33:39,125 --> 00:33:40,707
And before you start,
it's not because
632
00:33:40,708 --> 00:33:42,707
you're a goddamn monkey
or any of that crap.
633
00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,541
The fact is
I don't much like anybody.
634
00:33:44,542 --> 00:33:45,957
I know what your thinking.
635
00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,541
Your thinking
this tough exterior
636
00:33:47,542 --> 00:33:49,499
is just my way of breaking
in a new partner.
637
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,916
And then after a while
the bickering
638
00:33:50,917 --> 00:33:52,832
and mutual dislike
of each other...
639
00:33:56,583 --> 00:33:58,957
This is your plan?
Get shit-faced?
640
00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:00,166
Bait, dear boy.
641
00:34:00,167 --> 00:34:02,041
If we can consume enough alcohol
642
00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:04,416
then we might be able to lure
the trampires out of hiding.
643
00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:07,207
At least,
that's usually how it works.
644
00:34:07,208 --> 00:34:08,750
What are you talking about?
645
00:34:08,792 --> 00:34:11,582
Ancient scrolls tell
of a mythical trampire
646
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,124
known as the master.
647
00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:15,374
He is prophesied to
be able to hold his drink
648
00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:17,166
a lot better than the others.
649
00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:19,332
The scrolls also state that
this "leader of trampires"
650
00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:21,374
will attempt to bring
about the "lock-in"
651
00:34:21,375 --> 00:34:23,124
an ancient curse
that will turn the skies
652
00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:24,582
to an eternal night
653
00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:27,082
and transform water
into cheap cider.
654
00:34:27,083 --> 00:34:30,207
The resultant darkness will cause mass
depression amongst the peoples of the world
655
00:34:30,208 --> 00:34:33,041
and nearly everyone
will start drinking heavily,
656
00:34:33,042 --> 00:34:35,874
creating a never-ending food
supply for the trampires.
657
00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:38,791
The sober world
we know shall be no more!
658
00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:40,457
Jesus.
659
00:34:40,458 --> 00:34:42,624
There is also a legend
that tells of the chosen one,
660
00:34:42,625 --> 00:34:44,916
a man who will defeat
the trampires once and for all.
661
00:34:44,917 --> 00:34:47,416
But personally I think
that bit is bullshit.
662
00:34:47,417 --> 00:34:49,457
So how do we find this master?
663
00:34:49,458 --> 00:34:51,500
Bait, dear boy, bait.
664
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:04,541
Hello?
665
00:35:04,542 --> 00:35:06,500
Steel, you here?
666
00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:11,917
Don't be a chicken,
Mr. Butterworth.
667
00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:22,791
Huh.
668
00:35:22,792 --> 00:35:25,333
I'll get my money one way
or another, you bum.
669
00:35:29,667 --> 00:35:30,792
Oh, shit!
670
00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:42,457
Oh, boy!
671
00:35:42,458 --> 00:35:44,750
Am I gonna have some
fun with this!
672
00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:52,291
Mr. Butterworth!
673
00:35:52,292 --> 00:35:54,374
Oh, my god!
674
00:35:57,750 --> 00:36:00,207
So, so how'd you
get into this game, doc?
675
00:36:00,208 --> 00:36:01,457
Hunting trampires, I mean.
676
00:36:03,042 --> 00:36:05,374
It's been a family
business for centuries.
677
00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:07,374
My father hunted trampires,
678
00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:12,375
as did his father before him,
and his father before him...
679
00:36:12,417 --> 00:36:14,207
And his father before him.
680
00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:15,541
Yeah, I get the picture.
681
00:36:15,542 --> 00:36:17,417
No, his father was a plumber.
682
00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:21,082
So what about you,
683
00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:23,416
is there a Mrs. Steel?
684
00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:25,207
I don't want to talk about it.
685
00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:26,625
Okay.
686
00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:30,332
God, I loved that woman!
687
00:36:30,333 --> 00:36:32,124
What happened?
688
00:36:32,125 --> 00:36:34,332
Oh, uh, she died.
689
00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:36,541
- What?!
- Murdered by a ninja asshole
690
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:38,249
by the name of akumu.
691
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:39,707
What a bummer!
692
00:36:39,708 --> 00:36:41,374
Damn straight!
693
00:36:41,375 --> 00:36:42,874
Damn you, akumu!
694
00:36:42,875 --> 00:36:44,916
Damn you!
695
00:36:44,917 --> 00:36:47,082
Can I just say,
696
00:36:47,083 --> 00:36:50,041
you have the biggest penis
I've ever seen on a man.
697
00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:51,375
I know.
698
00:36:54,958 --> 00:36:56,124
Huh?
699
00:36:57,917 --> 00:36:59,375
You mother fu...
700
00:37:02,792 --> 00:37:07,957
We're going to walk the streets
looking for tramps.
701
00:37:07,958 --> 00:37:10,082
Whatever floats
your boat, buddy.
702
00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:12,124
Ah!
703
00:37:12,125 --> 00:37:14,707
Clowns.
704
00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:30,749
I pretty people, pretty cars I
705
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:33,374
I livin' in the lap of luxury I
706
00:37:33,375 --> 00:37:34,917
- hey!
- Sorry!
707
00:37:39,417 --> 00:37:42,332
I but this precious fantasy I
708
00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:45,499
I seems so close
when it's so far from me I
709
00:37:51,083 --> 00:37:52,291
Don't so drugs!
710
00:37:52,292 --> 00:37:54,374
I tell me I
711
00:37:54,375 --> 00:37:56,957
I where to get in line I
712
00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,166
I show me I
713
00:38:01,958 --> 00:38:03,957
Why would you do that?
714
00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:05,457
Sorry!
715
00:38:08,167 --> 00:38:10,624
I on the streets in paradise I
716
00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:13,082
I when you're not
the chosen few I
717
00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:16,542
I it's hot as hell
and cold as ice I
718
00:38:18,542 --> 00:38:21,124
leave me alone!
719
00:38:21,125 --> 00:38:23,958
I livin' on the streets
in paradise I
720
00:38:27,375 --> 00:38:28,582
I come on I
721
00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:33,916
It's no good.
722
00:38:33,917 --> 00:38:36,083
My hangover's kicking in
and we ain't found squat.
723
00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:39,791
There is one thing we can try
724
00:38:39,792 --> 00:38:42,166
but you're not going to like it.
725
00:38:42,167 --> 00:38:43,457
Fifty bucks
726
00:38:43,458 --> 00:38:45,667
and the monkey can watch.
727
00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:51,499
Thank you,
fair lady of the night.
728
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,458
You guys are into
some kinky shit.
729
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,166
Goddamn perverts everywhere.
730
00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:01,166
You can come out now.
She's gone.
731
00:39:05,208 --> 00:39:08,082
I am seriously not
happy about this!
732
00:39:08,083 --> 00:39:10,791
Statistically, the trampires
attack drunken couples
733
00:39:10,792 --> 00:39:12,541
more than any other demographic.
734
00:39:12,542 --> 00:39:14,416
I still don't see why
I had to wear the dress?
735
00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:16,624
Well, I couldn't pull that off.
Not with my legs.
736
00:39:16,625 --> 00:39:18,624
Besides, there's no
time to argue.
737
00:39:18,625 --> 00:39:19,957
Time is running out for you.
738
00:39:19,958 --> 00:39:21,291
So now what?
739
00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:23,374
Now we walk. And we wait.
740
00:39:25,083 --> 00:39:28,582
Bloody hell! That worked
quicker than I anticipated.
741
00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:30,249
Back, servant of twilight! Back!
742
00:39:32,375 --> 00:39:34,207
Quickly! We must not
lose sight of him.
743
00:39:34,208 --> 00:39:35,707
He may lead us to the nest!
744
00:39:35,708 --> 00:39:38,000
Jesus. How do you
walk in these things?!
745
00:39:46,458 --> 00:39:48,166
Give me your truck!
746
00:39:48,167 --> 00:39:49,541
Bite me!
747
00:39:49,542 --> 00:39:52,957
He bit me!
748
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,708
He's getting away!
749
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,542
Come on!
750
00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:04,582
Fucking shoes!
751
00:40:06,042 --> 00:40:08,208
Come on. Don't dilly dally
752
00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:11,207
give me my clothes.
753
00:40:11,208 --> 00:40:13,207
I need to change
out of this shit.
754
00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:15,291
Oh, uh, I'm afraid
I dropped them in the alley.
755
00:40:15,292 --> 00:40:16,833
You asshole!
756
00:40:29,708 --> 00:40:32,625
I think we might be
on to something here, you know.
757
00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:39,458
If I'm not mistaken, this could
well be the trampires lair.
758
00:40:41,167 --> 00:40:43,666
Gee. You reckon?
759
00:41:02,208 --> 00:41:03,583
What the hell?
760
00:41:10,083 --> 00:41:12,541
It looks like freshman
week at Betty Ford's.
761
00:41:12,542 --> 00:41:14,374
This is definitely the nest.
762
00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:16,500
But there's more
of them than usual.
763
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:22,499
Look. It's Harold brownlow.
764
00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:23,999
He looks like shit.
765
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,082
It is too
late for him I'm afraid.
766
00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:27,625
He is one of them now.
767
00:41:44,958 --> 00:41:46,249
What the hell?
768
00:41:46,250 --> 00:41:47,874
- You know her?
- Sure.
769
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:49,499
She's the department shrink!
770
00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,624
It looks like she's
much more than that.
771
00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:55,124
It looks like she is the master.
772
00:41:55,125 --> 00:41:57,249
But she can't be!
I've seen her in daylight.
773
00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:58,666
She didn't even break a sweat.
774
00:41:58,667 --> 00:42:00,291
The scrolls tell us
that the master
775
00:42:00,292 --> 00:42:02,082
is stronger than the others.
776
00:42:02,083 --> 00:42:03,791
To kill him, or her,
777
00:42:03,792 --> 00:42:06,374
you must use three methods
within a 15 minute window.
778
00:42:06,375 --> 00:42:08,416
For example, a stake
through the liver
779
00:42:08,417 --> 00:42:10,082
in broad daylight
whilst hosing him
780
00:42:10,083 --> 00:42:12,916
or her down with holy coffee.
781
00:42:12,917 --> 00:42:15,624
Are you making this
shit up as you go?!
782
00:42:18,417 --> 00:42:20,791
Thank you, my brothers.
783
00:42:20,792 --> 00:42:24,124
It warms the blood to see
so many of you here tonight.
784
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,166
It has been a long road
785
00:42:26,167 --> 00:42:29,124
but our journey's
nearly at an end.
786
00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:32,916
The task of sabotaging
the LAPD is now complete.
787
00:42:32,917 --> 00:42:37,124
Their heads are now so full
of meaningless psychobabble
788
00:42:37,125 --> 00:42:39,874
that when it comes
to the final battle,
789
00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:43,457
they will be unable
to protect the puritan.
790
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:47,916
Believe it or not,
791
00:42:47,917 --> 00:42:50,916
some of the poor saps
even began cross dressing!
792
00:42:55,417 --> 00:42:57,624
Not a goddamn word.
793
00:42:57,625 --> 00:43:00,874
Tonight, we will drink
the blood of the puritan,
794
00:43:00,875 --> 00:43:02,916
the lock in will come to pass
795
00:43:02,917 --> 00:43:05,582
and we shall
reign over the humans
796
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:08,332
and reclaim the glory of
our forefathers.
797
00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,124
So who's this puritan guy?
798
00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:14,291
The scrolls speak
of a sworn enemy of
799
00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:16,332
the trampires called the puritan
800
00:43:16,333 --> 00:43:18,124
a man of great social standing
801
00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:20,207
who threatens their way of life.
802
00:43:20,208 --> 00:43:22,041
If memory serves me correctly,
803
00:43:22,042 --> 00:43:23,666
he must be sacrificed
at midnight,
804
00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:26,541
in a public arena,
to bring about the lock in.
805
00:43:26,542 --> 00:43:29,166
They've been calling governor
atkins a puritan on the news a lot
806
00:43:29,167 --> 00:43:31,457
he's been clamping down
on liquor licenses.
807
00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:33,291
If there's less drunk
people on the streets,
808
00:43:33,292 --> 00:43:35,624
the trampires food supply
would dwindle.
809
00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:37,249
That's bound
to piss them right off.
810
00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:39,666
Atkins is attending
a charity event tonight.
811
00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,666
They're going to
hit him at the circus.
812
00:43:41,667 --> 00:43:43,707
- Oh, shit.
- What is it?
813
00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:44,957
My wife is...
814
00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:47,582
Um, dead. My wife is dead.
815
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,957
Killed by ninjas.
816
00:43:48,958 --> 00:43:50,374
I know. You said.
817
00:43:50,375 --> 00:43:52,582
Let us pack up
our cardboard coffins
818
00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:54,957
for the final time, my brothers.
819
00:43:54,958 --> 00:43:58,832
Our destiny awaits us
at the strike of midnight!
820
00:43:58,833 --> 00:44:00,791
They're gonna leave.
821
00:44:00,792 --> 00:44:02,416
We gotta do something!
822
00:44:02,417 --> 00:44:05,124
Will you keep still.
They're gonna see us.
823
00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:07,249
Um, Chuck, I fear we may have
824
00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:09,083
a situation developing.
825
00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,500
Huh?
826
00:44:12,708 --> 00:44:14,166
Help me.
827
00:44:14,167 --> 00:44:16,124
Get him off me!
828
00:44:16,125 --> 00:44:18,416
Will you keep still?!
I'm trying to get a grip!
829
00:44:18,417 --> 00:44:20,541
He's all sweaty.
830
00:44:20,542 --> 00:44:23,124
I can feel his helmet
through my britches!
831
00:44:23,125 --> 00:44:25,082
Quit squirming, will you?
832
00:44:25,083 --> 00:44:26,917
Pull him off!
833
00:44:26,958 --> 00:44:28,916
I don't think he needs
any help in that department.
834
00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:31,124
Will you just shoot the bastard?
835
00:44:31,125 --> 00:44:32,166
Eat this!
836
00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,250
I think they
might've heard that.
837
00:44:48,667 --> 00:44:50,957
Okay, you hell bastards!
Let's dance!
838
00:44:50,958 --> 00:44:53,791
Officer steel,
what a pleasant surprise.
839
00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:55,749
Nice outfit.
840
00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:58,207
Looks like my sessions with you
have had an affect after all.
841
00:44:58,208 --> 00:44:59,666
This old thing?
842
00:44:59,667 --> 00:45:02,332
Unhand me, you
malodorous mendicants!
843
00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:04,749
As for you,
you interfering little shit!
844
00:45:04,750 --> 00:45:07,167
Your forefathers have
caused me no end of hassle
845
00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:09,082
over the centuries!
846
00:45:09,083 --> 00:45:11,707
How does it feel to know you
will be the last of your kind!
847
00:45:11,708 --> 00:45:14,041
Ah! That's what
you think, homunculus!
848
00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:16,832
Why even as we speak, my
15 year old grandson algernon
849
00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:18,957
is in training
to take over my mantle.
850
00:45:18,958 --> 00:45:21,082
If he can just
stop masturbating long enough.
851
00:45:21,083 --> 00:45:23,166
Cease your prattling, fool!
852
00:45:23,167 --> 00:45:25,707
Give it up, lady, we know about
your plan to kill the governor.
853
00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:27,291
You'll never get away with it.
854
00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:29,291
Oh, I will, officer steel.
855
00:45:29,292 --> 00:45:30,957
It is my destiny.
856
00:45:30,958 --> 00:45:32,749
It's your destiny
to be locked in a rubber room
857
00:45:32,750 --> 00:45:35,041
with a box of crayons,
you crazy bitch!
858
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:37,999
Well you're not exactly playing
with a full deck now are you?
859
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,791
Not since your wife left you.
860
00:45:40,792 --> 00:45:42,249
Huh?!
861
00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:45,749
I thought your wife
was killed by ninjas?
862
00:45:45,750 --> 00:45:47,999
He fed you that story,
too, did he?
863
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,041
The elusive ninja master akumu,
864
00:45:50,042 --> 00:45:53,707
arch Nemesis of the legend
that is Chuck steel!
865
00:45:55,833 --> 00:45:57,791
All lies I'm afraid.
866
00:45:57,792 --> 00:45:59,832
The truth is a little more
867
00:45:59,833 --> 00:46:01,582
human, shall we say.
868
00:46:01,583 --> 00:46:03,791
Where the hell did you get that?
869
00:46:03,792 --> 00:46:06,666
Oh, it's amazing how helpful
your landlord could be
870
00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:08,792
with my teeth clamped
round his throat.
871
00:46:09,958 --> 00:46:12,124
- "Dear Chuck...
- Oh, god, no!
872
00:46:12,125 --> 00:46:14,041
I know this
might come as a surprise,
873
00:46:14,042 --> 00:46:15,707
but I'm leaving you.
874
00:46:15,708 --> 00:46:17,874
You're a misogynistic,
neanderthal, asshole
875
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:20,791
with stupid hair
and a laughably oversized chin
876
00:46:20,792 --> 00:46:22,957
that looks like a loaf of bread.
877
00:46:22,958 --> 00:46:24,541
I've met someone else.
878
00:46:24,542 --> 00:46:26,124
His name is Barney.
879
00:46:26,125 --> 00:46:28,374
He works at a world
renowned travelling circus
880
00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:30,792
as their premier
clown in residence."
881
00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:33,041
Shut up, damn it! Shut up!
882
00:46:33,042 --> 00:46:35,582
He's a giant in the
world of physical comedy,
883
00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:39,666
an expert unicyclist and a better
lover than you could ever be.
884
00:46:39,667 --> 00:46:41,957
Please, no more.
885
00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:48,374
P.s. Don't try to find me
886
00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:50,792
or Barney will set
the lions on you."
887
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,749
His wife left him for a clown!
888
00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:57,999
Please, god, make it stop!
889
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,707
Oh, you poor bastard.
890
00:47:00,708 --> 00:47:03,791
I swear to god, I am going
to kill every last one of you
891
00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:06,375
dirty stinking mother f...
892
00:47:09,125 --> 00:47:10,457
Fuckers!
893
00:47:10,458 --> 00:47:11,958
Night-night.
894
00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:18,125
Huh?
895
00:47:20,167 --> 00:47:22,292
Hello.
896
00:47:25,625 --> 00:47:28,707
Welcome back to
the land of the living, officer steel.
897
00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:31,166
While you were out,
we force fed your friend
898
00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:32,874
three bottles of cheap whisky
899
00:47:32,875 --> 00:47:34,957
and he is now
completely hammered.
900
00:47:34,958 --> 00:47:37,374
Let's go to a club.
901
00:47:37,375 --> 00:47:39,582
And since your nose
is no longer swollen,
902
00:47:39,583 --> 00:47:42,457
we know that the toxins
are now in your system.
903
00:47:42,458 --> 00:47:45,291
Soon the cravings will begin
and your friend
904
00:47:45,292 --> 00:47:47,374
will look more appealing
to you than a trolley dash
905
00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:49,082
in a liquor store.
906
00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:51,082
You will feast on his blood
907
00:47:51,083 --> 00:47:53,207
and your transformation
will be complete.
908
00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:58,082
But I'm not a monster.
909
00:47:58,083 --> 00:48:00,499
You're probably going to need
some therapy after this
910
00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:03,125
so I've left my business
card with Steve here.
911
00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:07,666
Call me.
912
00:48:07,667 --> 00:48:09,792
Anytime.
913
00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:16,166
I like him.
914
00:48:16,167 --> 00:48:17,374
He's silly.
915
00:48:21,042 --> 00:48:23,082
I was enjoying that.
916
00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:51,124
Fear not. I'm not
actually that drunk.
917
00:48:51,125 --> 00:48:53,958
As part of my training I learned
to pass alcohol through my system
918
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,791
so fast that
it has minimal effect.
919
00:48:56,792 --> 00:48:58,752
The only downside is
the cost of the dry cleaning.
920
00:49:00,875 --> 00:49:02,374
Leave me. Get away.
921
00:49:02,375 --> 00:49:04,041
Listen, doc,
you have to kill me.
922
00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,999
I'm going to turn into one
of them any time now.
923
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,874
Come on, old boy.
Snap out of it.
924
00:49:07,875 --> 00:49:09,374
That's easy for you to say.
925
00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:11,291
My reputation is shot to shit.
926
00:49:11,292 --> 00:49:14,042
Being the best goddamn cop
on the force is what I do.
927
00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,374
It's who I am.
Without that I'm nothing.
928
00:49:16,375 --> 00:49:17,874
Nonsense, my boy.
929
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:19,666
Here drink some of this.
930
00:49:19,667 --> 00:49:21,832
- What is it?
- A secret elixir
931
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,916
that helps stave off
the symptoms for a while.
932
00:49:23,917 --> 00:49:25,957
Why didn't you
mention this before?
933
00:49:25,958 --> 00:49:27,957
It is only to be consumed
in an emergency
934
00:49:27,958 --> 00:49:29,916
as it only works
once I'm afraid.
935
00:49:29,917 --> 00:49:33,582
It's made up of a mixture of
tomato juice and alka-seltzer.
936
00:49:33,583 --> 00:49:35,707
Oh, and pulverized
giraffe sphincters.
937
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,125
Oh, bugger.
938
00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:43,500
Put 'em up, you bounder!
939
00:50:24,917 --> 00:50:27,041
Steve, you fucking prick!
940
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,542
I'm starting to get agitated!
941
00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:45,582
- How do you feel?
- Okay, I think.
942
00:50:45,583 --> 00:50:47,957
Good. The elixir
has bought us a few hours.
943
00:50:47,958 --> 00:50:50,624
We need to get to the circus
before the show starts.
944
00:50:50,625 --> 00:50:53,332
Yo! Giggles,
let's blow this shitbox!
945
00:50:53,333 --> 00:50:55,957
You know, when he isn't
throwing his turds around,
946
00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:58,416
he's a damn good partner.
947
00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:01,042
Giggles!
948
00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:04,917
No!
949
00:51:10,500 --> 00:51:11,541
Ah!
950
00:51:12,667 --> 00:51:14,000
I need help!
951
00:51:17,833 --> 00:51:19,125
No!
952
00:51:23,792 --> 00:51:26,041
Chuck! Get to the circus!
953
00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:27,707
Save the puritan!
954
00:51:27,708 --> 00:51:29,791
But first. I'd change into
something less slutty
955
00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:31,124
if I were you!
956
00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:39,125
Oh, I can see my hotel!
957
00:51:49,708 --> 00:51:50,958
What the hell?
958
00:51:54,458 --> 00:51:56,082
"If you're reading
this then I'm guessing
959
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,082
there's a higher
than average chance
960
00:51:58,083 --> 00:51:59,957
that Mr. Giggles is fubarred.
961
00:51:59,958 --> 00:52:02,124
So, in an effort to get ahead
of the game with this situation
962
00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:05,957
here's your new partner,
you psychotic son of a bitch.
963
00:52:05,958 --> 00:52:07,749
Oh, not this shit again.
964
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,582
This is your last chance, steel.
965
00:52:09,583 --> 00:52:12,332
Fuck this up and I swear
your ass is history!
966
00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:15,653
P.s. If you're coming back to the office,
can you pick up some milk? We're all out."
967
00:52:26,542 --> 00:52:27,458
Huh?
968
00:52:27,459 --> 00:52:28,749
What the hell?
969
00:52:28,750 --> 00:52:30,166
That was here when I moved in.
970
00:52:30,167 --> 00:52:31,999
Where's my rent?
971
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,041
Listen to me, gussman, you've
been bitten by a trampire.
972
00:52:34,042 --> 00:52:36,416
Pretty soon all you'll want to do
is drink the blood of drunk people
973
00:52:36,417 --> 00:52:39,416
and spend the daylight hours hiding
in a cardboard box on shit street.
974
00:52:39,417 --> 00:52:41,083
Now if you let me
get my crossbow
975
00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:43,832
and get out of this skirt,
there's still time to fix this.
976
00:52:43,833 --> 00:52:45,625
You goddamn pervert!
977
00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,542
No!
978
00:53:00,083 --> 00:53:01,124
Oh, shit.
979
00:53:17,583 --> 00:53:18,916
Huh?
980
00:53:18,917 --> 00:53:20,792
This is coming out
of your deposit!
981
00:53:20,833 --> 00:53:22,292
Deposit this!
982
00:53:30,542 --> 00:53:32,167
There's never anything on TV!
983
00:53:36,875 --> 00:53:38,332
Oh, shit!
984
00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:40,417
Destructive sequence initiated.
985
00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:46,625
Huh?
986
00:53:48,833 --> 00:53:49,874
Huh?
987
00:53:51,667 --> 00:53:53,207
You gotta be shitting me!
988
00:53:53,208 --> 00:53:55,167
Give us a kiss! Give us a kiss!
989
00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,499
Huh?
990
00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:02,167
Give us a kiss! Give us a kiss!
991
00:54:03,417 --> 00:54:05,125
Fuck you, butterworth!
992
00:54:05,958 --> 00:54:06,958
Huh.
993
00:54:09,125 --> 00:54:10,845
- Seven, six...
- Give us a kiss!
994
00:54:13,833 --> 00:54:14,874
Huh?
995
00:54:14,875 --> 00:54:16,416
Oh, give me a fucking break!
996
00:54:16,417 --> 00:54:18,832
Three, two, one...
997
00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:19,833
Have a nice day.
998
00:54:57,792 --> 00:55:00,333
Okay, let's get
one thing straight.
999
00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:02,917
I don't like you.
1000
00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:19,707
Huh?
1001
00:55:19,708 --> 00:55:21,375
I peed my pants!
1002
00:55:27,333 --> 00:55:30,207
Easy there, son,
you've had quite a knock.
1003
00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:33,166
Who are you people?
1004
00:55:33,167 --> 00:55:34,416
Name's dora.
1005
00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:36,291
This here's bum central.
1006
00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:38,125
It's not much but it's home.
1007
00:55:49,458 --> 00:55:50,832
How did I get here?
1008
00:55:50,833 --> 00:55:52,207
Stretch over there,
1009
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:54,249
he's been watching me
for awhile now.
1010
00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:55,916
I know you, don't I?
1011
00:55:55,917 --> 00:55:57,375
Howdy, son.
1012
00:55:59,042 --> 00:56:00,291
Why do they call you stretch?
1013
00:56:00,292 --> 00:56:01,957
Huh? Oh.
1014
00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:04,000
'Cause I hide all my loose
change in my foreskin.
1015
00:56:08,292 --> 00:56:11,374
Just don't ask where
he keeps his wallet.
1016
00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:12,875
I heard that!
1017
00:56:16,417 --> 00:56:18,166
Is that my stuff?
1018
00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:20,082
What are they doing?
1019
00:56:20,083 --> 00:56:21,624
Wooden-tipped bullets.
1020
00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:23,124
They are making
a few modifications.
1021
00:56:23,125 --> 00:56:24,875
I hope you don't mind.
1022
00:56:26,708 --> 00:56:28,875
Here we found this, too.
1023
00:56:37,208 --> 00:56:39,332
From someone special, huh?
1024
00:56:39,333 --> 00:56:41,582
It's all I have left of my wife.
1025
00:56:41,583 --> 00:56:42,707
I'm sorry.
1026
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,082
Nah.
1027
00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:47,417
She left me for a circus clown.
1028
00:56:52,542 --> 00:56:54,082
What's their problem?
1029
00:56:54,083 --> 00:56:55,624
They know you've been bit.
1030
00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:57,957
Wondering how come
you ain't turned yet.
1031
00:56:57,958 --> 00:57:00,207
A friend of mine gave me, uh...
1032
00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:02,041
Wait a second. You know?
1033
00:57:02,042 --> 00:57:03,832
About the trampires?
1034
00:57:03,833 --> 00:57:06,500
Come with me, son,
you need to see something.
1035
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:15,542
This way.
1036
00:57:21,625 --> 00:57:23,499
Look, in the mural.
1037
00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:24,917
It's you.
1038
00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:33,832
This lone wolf bullshit of
yours has gone on long enough.
1039
00:57:33,833 --> 00:57:36,082
Giggles!
1040
00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:38,957
The master
will make you pay for this.
1041
00:57:38,958 --> 00:57:41,042
He is coming.
1042
00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:45,749
I love you.
1043
00:57:45,750 --> 00:57:47,416
No!
1044
00:57:47,417 --> 00:57:50,124
I can feel
his helmet through my britches!
1045
00:57:50,125 --> 00:57:51,874
This is your last chance, steel.
1046
00:57:51,875 --> 00:57:53,917
Fuck this up,
I swear your ass is history!
1047
00:57:56,625 --> 00:57:57,792
Huh?
1048
00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:06,582
What the fuck is that?
1049
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:07,957
We call him the wise one.
1050
00:58:07,958 --> 00:58:09,833
He's been down here
for 30 years,
1051
00:58:09,875 --> 00:58:11,666
ever since he was fired
from Goldman sachs
1052
00:58:11,667 --> 00:58:13,707
for taking a shit
in the elevator.
1053
00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:15,167
Is it him?
1054
00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:19,957
Is one of you gonna tell me
what the fuck is going on here?
1055
00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:22,457
The legend speaks of a man
1056
00:58:22,458 --> 00:58:24,749
who will fall from the skies
1057
00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:29,125
with the tools that can bring
about the trampires destruction.
1058
00:58:41,375 --> 00:58:42,916
Oh, my god!
1059
00:58:42,917 --> 00:58:46,082
You are the chosen one,
1060
00:58:46,083 --> 00:58:49,082
my friend.
1061
00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:51,208
We're going to
the circus, fudge suckers!
1062
00:58:51,250 --> 00:58:52,708
Mind your fucking language!
1063
00:58:54,875 --> 00:58:57,624
And here we see
governor atkins arriving
1064
00:58:57,625 --> 00:58:59,416
at tonight's charity event.
1065
00:58:59,417 --> 00:59:02,749
Indeed this whole midnight show
was the governor's idea
1066
00:59:02,750 --> 00:59:06,916
as a way as a way to highlight the
plight of the homeless on our streets.
1067
00:59:06,917 --> 00:59:09,292
He truly is a man of the people.
1068
00:59:19,208 --> 00:59:20,957
Who's here again?
1069
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:23,041
Some of these poor
bastards aren't gonna
1070
00:59:23,042 --> 00:59:24,332
make it through tonight.
1071
00:59:24,333 --> 00:59:26,291
Son, some of these poor bastards
1072
00:59:26,292 --> 00:59:27,972
weren't gonna make it
through to breakfast.
1073
00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:33,958
The prophecy begins.
1074
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,250
Huh?
1075
00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:56,750
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
1076
01:00:04,542 --> 01:00:06,541
Wait! Wait! Come back!
1077
01:00:06,542 --> 01:00:08,542
There's been a terrible mistake!
1078
01:00:13,125 --> 01:00:14,874
Oh.
1079
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:17,874
Huh?
1080
01:00:17,875 --> 01:00:20,542
Uh, where the fuck is everyone?
1081
01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:23,792
We gonna rumble or what?
1082
01:00:37,125 --> 01:00:40,582
Hey, governor!
1083
01:00:40,583 --> 01:00:42,416
Sit down, you fat fuck!
1084
01:00:42,417 --> 01:00:44,374
This is mother hen
calling all stations.
1085
01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,916
- Check in.
- All clear on my end.
1086
01:00:46,917 --> 01:00:49,207
Back passage ready for action.
1087
01:00:49,208 --> 01:00:51,749
I bought a balloon
1088
01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:58,792
Nobody teabags
Abraham Van rental!
1089
01:01:13,208 --> 01:01:14,917
I haven't thought this through!
1090
01:01:19,917 --> 01:01:21,125
Oh, shit!
1091
01:01:22,958 --> 01:01:25,167
Feel my shaft, ungodly swine!
1092
01:01:31,833 --> 01:01:33,666
Where is a pig's liver anyway?
1093
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:36,332
Will you just fucking die?!
1094
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:07,249
Smoky bacon!
1095
01:02:28,792 --> 01:02:30,832
- Who are these guys?
- And now, ladies and gentlemen.
1096
01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:32,374
Keep your nut down, darling.
1097
01:02:32,375 --> 01:02:36,207
The world famous coco
and his bunch of clowns!
1098
01:02:47,417 --> 01:02:49,375
You bastards!
1099
01:02:52,376 --> 01:02:54,250
Ah. There's the rabble.
1100
01:02:57,458 --> 01:02:59,082
We're not going
to make it in time!
1101
01:02:59,083 --> 01:03:01,167
I need to get hold
of Jack somehow.
1102
01:03:02,750 --> 01:03:03,874
I got a phone!
1103
01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:09,457
Schitt here.
1104
01:03:09,458 --> 01:03:11,166
Captain, it's steel.
Listen to me.
1105
01:03:11,167 --> 01:03:13,249
You've got to get the
governor away from the circus!
1106
01:03:13,250 --> 01:03:15,332
What the hell are you
talking about, steel?
1107
01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:16,791
Is the cheese plant with you?
1108
01:03:16,792 --> 01:03:18,249
- He didn't make it.
- That's it steel!
1109
01:03:18,250 --> 01:03:20,291
You're officially
on suspension as of now.
1110
01:03:20,292 --> 01:03:22,916
Now would you just shut up
a second, you big fruit!
1111
01:03:22,917 --> 01:03:24,457
The shrink who's been
messing with your head.
1112
01:03:24,458 --> 01:03:26,582
She's the leader
of a group of vampire bums
1113
01:03:26,583 --> 01:03:29,416
called trampires and she's
heading your way to kill the governor.
1114
01:03:29,417 --> 01:03:30,832
The shrink was right.
1115
01:03:30,833 --> 01:03:33,166
You've finally gone over
the edge, steel!
1116
01:03:33,167 --> 01:03:35,332
Now if you don't mind I'm trying to
watch the funny looking tramp clowns.
1117
01:03:35,333 --> 01:03:36,707
They've got pies and everything.
1118
01:03:36,708 --> 01:03:38,250
What did you say?
1119
01:03:38,292 --> 01:03:39,832
- I said they've got pies and...
- No, the clowns!
1120
01:03:39,833 --> 01:03:41,332
What did you call them?
1121
01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:42,832
Tramps. You know,
more Charlie chaplin
1122
01:03:42,833 --> 01:03:44,457
than Ronald McDonald.
1123
01:03:44,458 --> 01:03:46,124
Oh, my god!
1124
01:03:46,125 --> 01:03:47,957
You've got to get the
governor out of there, captain!
1125
01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:49,416
- Ca ptain!
- Steel?
1126
01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:51,042
Goddamn piece of shit!
1127
01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:52,875
Oh!
1128
01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:10,000
You asshole!
1129
01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:24,208
Is this a European circus?
1130
01:04:50,375 --> 01:04:52,042
Ooh, I've got the d.T.'S
1131
01:05:09,417 --> 01:05:10,499
Oh, bollocks!
1132
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:11,500
Huh?
1133
01:05:12,583 --> 01:05:14,417
Yep. Definitely French.
1134
01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:20,457
It's a dude!
1135
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,707
Bring me the puritan!
1136
01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:26,875
Huh?
1137
01:05:31,833 --> 01:05:33,875
Cameras.
1138
01:05:40,375 --> 01:05:42,332
I'm ready for my
next session, doc.
1139
01:05:42,333 --> 01:05:43,957
No!
1140
01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:46,625
Yes!
1141
01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,417
Oh!
1142
01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:25,457
We cannot be stopped
by just one man!
1143
01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:28,124
That's okay. I don't work alone!
1144
01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:40,333
Fire!
1145
01:07:01,042 --> 01:07:02,832
Sir, we have to get
you out of here now!
1146
01:07:36,042 --> 01:07:37,208
Out of my way!
1147
01:08:01,792 --> 01:08:02,833
Huh?
1148
01:08:08,708 --> 01:08:10,332
Welcome to the party, doc.
1149
01:08:10,333 --> 01:08:12,958
- I've got a splitting headache.
- Me, too!
1150
01:08:17,667 --> 01:08:18,750
Huh?
1151
01:08:33,292 --> 01:08:34,499
Is it safe?
1152
01:08:37,792 --> 01:08:39,833
Is it safe? Is it fuck!
1153
01:08:44,958 --> 01:08:46,125
Huh?
1154
01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:51,375
Come on!
1155
01:09:37,792 --> 01:09:39,125
Protect the governor!
1156
01:09:44,750 --> 01:09:46,042
Hang on.
1157
01:10:09,875 --> 01:10:10,999
Ow!
1158
01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:14,167
Oh, god. What have I done?
1159
01:10:17,125 --> 01:10:18,333
Maloney!
1160
01:10:22,667 --> 01:10:23,791
Fuck off
1161
01:10:31,333 --> 01:10:32,957
Hold on, maloney!
1162
01:10:32,958 --> 01:10:35,291
Don't you die on me!
You big dumb son of a bitch.
1163
01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:37,291
Do me a favor, captain.
1164
01:10:37,292 --> 01:10:38,957
Tell my wife...
1165
01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,916
Tell her I never
really loved her.
1166
01:10:40,917 --> 01:10:44,124
I only married her
to get close to her sister.
1167
01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:46,041
Will you do that for me, sir?
1168
01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:48,041
You can tell her
yourself, maloney.
1169
01:10:48,042 --> 01:10:50,124
I don't think so sir.
1170
01:11:09,250 --> 01:11:10,458
Flaps!
1171
01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,208
Harry? Is that you?
1172
01:11:23,125 --> 01:11:24,917
God, please don't let me die.
1173
01:11:26,542 --> 01:11:28,125
Tally ho!
1174
01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:45,333
Bollocks.
1175
01:11:50,250 --> 01:11:52,541
Don't you know who I am?
1176
01:11:52,542 --> 01:11:53,958
He don't know Jack shit!
1177
01:11:55,083 --> 01:11:56,291
He does now!
1178
01:12:08,250 --> 01:12:10,374
Ah!
1179
01:12:10,375 --> 01:12:11,500
Huh?
1180
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:14,999
Good to have you back, captain.
1181
01:12:16,458 --> 01:12:17,874
Those lace panties
were giving me thrush.
1182
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:18,875
Huh?
1183
01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:34,124
What the hell is going on?
1184
01:12:34,125 --> 01:12:35,541
Who are these people?
1185
01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:37,749
We're the unwashed
masses, Mr. Governor.
1186
01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:39,874
And you owe us big time.
1187
01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:41,292
Ain't that right, stretch?
1188
01:12:42,583 --> 01:12:44,249
Another one for the nest egg!
1189
01:12:47,583 --> 01:12:49,291
Ugh!
1190
01:12:51,875 --> 01:12:53,708
Oh, stretch.
1191
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,791
No!
1192
01:13:12,708 --> 01:13:14,666
She can't be still alive!
1193
01:13:14,667 --> 01:13:16,957
I emptied a clip of wood-tipped
bullets into her liver!
1194
01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:19,916
You have to use three methods
within a 15-minute window.
1195
01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:20,957
Remember?
1196
01:13:20,958 --> 01:13:23,125
Join us!
1197
01:13:26,958 --> 01:13:28,374
Get the governor out of here!
I'll hold her off!
1198
01:13:28,375 --> 01:13:30,249
- Are you crazy?
- He's not crazy.
1199
01:13:30,250 --> 01:13:32,332
He's the best goddamn cop
on the force.
1200
01:13:32,333 --> 01:13:34,082
He's also the chosen one.
1201
01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:36,792
Of course. That's why
you have such a big penis!
1202
01:13:37,958 --> 01:13:39,624
I'm just a cop!
1203
01:13:39,625 --> 01:13:42,166
Now get the hell out of here
and let me do my job.
1204
01:13:42,167 --> 01:13:43,374
Oh, no.
1205
01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:44,832
The elixir has worn off.
1206
01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:46,500
The transformation is upon you.
1207
01:13:52,375 --> 01:13:54,833
Oh, my... god!
1208
01:14:01,458 --> 01:14:03,541
That's got to be the grossest
thing I've ever seen.
1209
01:14:03,542 --> 01:14:05,124
And I've got hemorrhoids!
1210
01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:06,332
Go! Now!
1211
01:14:06,333 --> 01:14:07,749
You heard the man, schitt!
1212
01:14:07,750 --> 01:14:09,208
Get me out of here!
1213
01:14:12,250 --> 01:14:13,707
Hold on, Chuck!
1214
01:14:13,708 --> 01:14:15,791
There's still
time to save your soul!
1215
01:14:15,792 --> 01:14:17,374
Try to hold on to your...
1216
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:20,749
Humanity.
1217
01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:22,417
Oh, rat's cocks!
1218
01:14:36,417 --> 01:14:38,957
Sober up, Satan spawn!
1219
01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:43,625
That's two out of three,
you sepulchral harlot!
1220
01:14:48,292 --> 01:14:49,833
Are we leaving or what?!
1221
01:15:17,292 --> 01:15:20,582
You are making
a big mistake lady!
1222
01:15:20,583 --> 01:15:24,041
Foolish mortal!
1223
01:15:24,042 --> 01:15:25,958
That's where you're wrong!
1224
01:15:43,667 --> 01:15:44,792
Huh?
1225
01:16:13,333 --> 01:16:14,916
What the hell is happening now!?
1226
01:16:14,917 --> 01:16:16,332
You got me.
1227
01:16:16,333 --> 01:16:18,250
The scrolls never
mentioned this shit.
1228
01:16:39,375 --> 01:16:41,375
I told you he was
a fucking lizard!
1229
01:16:58,958 --> 01:17:01,416
This is our world!
1230
01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:02,957
Never!
1231
01:17:18,583 --> 01:17:21,167
Chuck! We still have
to protect the puritan!
1232
01:17:21,208 --> 01:17:23,708
Even if he is a giant lizard!
1233
01:17:37,125 --> 01:17:39,082
Harryhausen!
1234
01:17:44,125 --> 01:17:46,375
Will you keep still,
you greasy freak?!
1235
01:17:55,417 --> 01:17:57,417
Mother fucking lasers!?
1236
01:18:00,042 --> 01:18:01,792
Oh, give me a fucking break!
1237
01:18:02,750 --> 01:18:04,291
Have no fear!
1238
01:18:04,292 --> 01:18:06,374
The chosen one is here!
1239
01:18:06,375 --> 01:18:07,875
Hello.
1240
01:18:41,875 --> 01:18:44,167
Reminds me of my wedding night.
1241
01:19:05,833 --> 01:19:07,458
No! It cannot be!
1242
01:19:17,167 --> 01:19:18,833
That's strike three, bitch!
1243
01:19:25,417 --> 01:19:26,750
Time to die.
1244
01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:29,707
Huh? Maybe not!
1245
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,750
Chuck, catch!
1246
01:19:50,125 --> 01:19:51,958
Now I'm agitated!
1247
01:20:18,542 --> 01:20:19,874
Come on!
1248
01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:36,458
This schitt's getting
too old for this shit!
1249
01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:39,999
Huh?
1250
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:41,707
- Chuck?
- Lucy?
1251
01:20:41,708 --> 01:20:43,041
Awkward.
1252
01:20:47,792 --> 01:20:49,166
Oh, shit!
1253
01:21:03,708 --> 01:21:05,250
Whoa! Giant lizard!
1254
01:21:09,792 --> 01:21:11,124
Doc, are you okay?
1255
01:21:11,125 --> 01:21:13,041
Uh, I think so.
1256
01:21:18,833 --> 01:21:20,374
Now that the mistress
is vanquished,
1257
01:21:20,375 --> 01:21:22,249
you can kill that asshole!
1258
01:21:22,250 --> 01:21:25,124
And how exactly do you
kill a big fucking lizard, doc?
1259
01:21:25,125 --> 01:21:26,958
With big fucking bullets!
1260
01:21:29,167 --> 01:21:30,582
Ooh, yeah!
1261
01:21:33,625 --> 01:21:35,500
Chew on this, you alien mother!
1262
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:40,292
Hang on, schitts!
1263
01:21:52,667 --> 01:21:54,332
It's nothing personal.
1264
01:21:54,333 --> 01:21:58,042
I'm just trying to make
this world a better place!
1265
01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:02,875
Yo! Fish lips!
1266
01:22:04,458 --> 01:22:06,167
I'm ready when you are!
1267
01:22:16,292 --> 01:22:17,292
Huh?
1268
01:22:17,293 --> 01:22:19,291
Bye-bye.
1269
01:22:19,292 --> 01:22:20,833
Oh, come on!
1270
01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:27,667
Oh, no, you don't.
1271
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:31,792
Die!
1272
01:22:40,625 --> 01:22:42,625
Come here, you little shit!
1273
01:22:47,458 --> 01:22:49,958
You scaly son of a bitch!
1274
01:22:52,833 --> 01:22:54,583
It ends here, harridan!
1275
01:23:04,375 --> 01:23:06,374
Oh, yeah!
1276
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,457
Eat my justice!
1277
01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,125
Liver let die!
1278
01:23:20,792 --> 01:23:22,583
I hate politics.
1279
01:23:43,875 --> 01:23:46,791
Authorities are baffled
by tonight's events
1280
01:23:46,792 --> 01:23:49,749
and are still unaware of the
location of governor atkins.
1281
01:23:49,750 --> 01:23:52,208
Rescue teams have failed
to locate a body...
1282
01:23:57,417 --> 01:23:58,750
Lucy.
1283
01:24:08,375 --> 01:24:09,582
Are you okay?
1284
01:24:09,583 --> 01:24:11,166
You look ...Different.
1285
01:24:11,167 --> 01:24:13,957
Yeah. I guess when you
work with custard all day
1286
01:24:13,958 --> 01:24:14,958
something's got to give.
1287
01:24:14,959 --> 01:24:16,457
Oi! She's happy now!
1288
01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:18,207
So bugger off, you lanky twat!
1289
01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:19,499
Button it, munchkin!
1290
01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:20,874
I know how to treat her right!
1291
01:24:20,875 --> 01:24:22,374
I give her what she needs!
1292
01:24:22,375 --> 01:24:23,499
What, low shelving?
1293
01:24:23,500 --> 01:24:24,874
Up yours, blondie!
1294
01:24:24,875 --> 01:24:26,499
For god's sake, stop it!
1295
01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:27,874
I can't take this!
1296
01:24:27,875 --> 01:24:30,041
Sorry. Just tell me one thing.
1297
01:24:30,042 --> 01:24:32,582
Did you really mean all those
things you said in your letter?
1298
01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:34,499
What are you talking about?
1299
01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:35,791
I didn't leave any letter.
1300
01:24:35,792 --> 01:24:37,291
Ah, that may have been me.
1301
01:24:37,292 --> 01:24:38,624
Well, we couldn't just
leave without saying
1302
01:24:38,625 --> 01:24:40,333
goodbye now, could we?
1303
01:24:42,542 --> 01:24:44,250
Excuse me a second.
1304
01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:49,624
You want some of this
do you? Come on then.
1305
01:24:49,625 --> 01:24:51,208
Yeah! I'll do you from in 'ere!
1306
01:24:55,875 --> 01:24:56,957
Fuck you!
1307
01:25:00,417 --> 01:25:02,624
Sorry. I had no idea
he had done that.
1308
01:25:02,625 --> 01:25:06,124
So does this mean I wasn't a
complete washout as a husband?
1309
01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:08,124
Of course, you weren't.
1310
01:25:08,125 --> 01:25:10,041
You just never understood
what it meant to me
1311
01:25:10,042 --> 01:25:13,124
to make balloon animals
and pour custard down my pants.
1312
01:25:13,125 --> 01:25:15,041
And I couldn't expect you to.
1313
01:25:15,042 --> 01:25:16,582
I could've changed.
1314
01:25:16,583 --> 01:25:18,542
I started wearing bigger shoes
1315
01:25:22,083 --> 01:25:24,166
Face it, Chuck, you work...
1316
01:25:24,167 --> 01:25:25,750
Alone.
1317
01:25:50,833 --> 01:25:52,082
There he is!
1318
01:25:52,083 --> 01:25:53,457
That's the man!
1319
01:25:53,458 --> 01:25:55,041
He's the imposter!
1320
01:25:55,042 --> 01:25:56,208
Stop him!
1321
01:26:11,292 --> 01:26:12,916
Ah! He's gone nuts!
1322
01:26:12,917 --> 01:26:16,666
Steel!
1323
01:26:16,667 --> 01:26:19,124
I'll expect the paperwork
on my desk in the morning.
1324
01:26:19,125 --> 01:26:20,750
Go fuck yourself.
1325
01:26:27,083 --> 01:26:30,082
I could've fired him.
1326
01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:32,374
Well, that was
jolly good fun wasn't it?
1327
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:34,124
Yeah, right.
1328
01:26:34,125 --> 01:26:36,124
There's bound to be more of
those lizards out there.
1329
01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:38,207
Also, I'm not sure
if I've mentioned this
1330
01:26:38,208 --> 01:26:40,166
but there is an equally
deadly force out there
1331
01:26:40,167 --> 01:26:41,541
that must be thwarted.
1332
01:26:41,542 --> 01:26:43,750
You have heard
of werewolves, no?
1333
01:26:44,750 --> 01:26:45,916
Sure.
1334
01:26:45,917 --> 01:26:47,457
But have you ever heard of...
1335
01:26:47,458 --> 01:26:50,042
Werewolf prostitutes?
1336
01:26:51,333 --> 01:26:53,041
Or whorewolves, if you will.
1337
01:26:53,042 --> 01:26:54,583
They're bloody everywhere!
1338
01:26:56,542 --> 01:26:58,124
Face or balls!
1339
01:26:58,125 --> 01:26:59,541
Oh, flaps.
1340
01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:11,625
I spend forever tryin'
to figure it out I
1341
01:27:12,958 --> 01:27:15,333
I tryin' to find an escape I
1342
01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:20,332
I working every little
hustle you can to try I
1343
01:27:20,333 --> 01:27:23,167
I get an even rate I
1344
01:27:25,083 --> 01:27:28,999
I you believe
in all the promises I
1345
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:31,624
I where are you now? I
1346
01:27:31,625 --> 01:27:34,374
I you're just iivin' I
1347
01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:36,457
I on the knife edge I
1348
01:27:36,458 --> 01:27:39,832
I oh, it somehow
don't seem right I
1349
01:27:39,833 --> 01:27:45,166
I it's a high wire act
on the rough time I
1350
01:27:45,167 --> 01:27:47,792
I survival through the night I
1351
01:27:55,958 --> 01:27:59,749
I spend whatever
little money you have I
1352
01:27:59,750 --> 01:28:02,208
I just stayin' alive I
1353
01:28:04,125 --> 01:28:08,291
I buy the key that
unlocks the door you do I
1354
01:28:08,292 --> 01:28:10,417
I more than survive I
1355
01:28:12,167 --> 01:28:15,041
I but you listen
to all the promises I
1356
01:28:15,042 --> 01:28:16,457
I promises I
1357
01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:19,000
I where are you now? I
1358
01:28:19,042 --> 01:28:21,416
I you're just iivin' I
1359
01:28:21,417 --> 01:28:23,624
I on the knife edge I
1360
01:28:23,625 --> 01:28:27,791
I oh, it somehow
don't seem right I
1361
01:28:27,792 --> 01:28:32,249
I it's a high wire act
on the rough time I
1362
01:28:32,250 --> 01:28:34,958
I survival through the night I
1363
01:28:36,625 --> 01:28:40,707
I now, nobody said
life was gonna be easy I
1364
01:28:40,708 --> 01:28:44,124
I and nobody said it was fair I
1365
01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:46,499
I I only know I
1366
01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:48,582
I there's just one answer I
1367
01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:50,874
I just put the wind I
1368
01:28:50,875 --> 01:28:54,208
I put the wind in our hair I
1369
01:29:13,958 --> 01:29:16,458
I you believe
in all the promises I
1370
01:29:18,125 --> 01:29:20,458
I where are you now? I
1371
01:29:28,542 --> 01:29:31,124
I you're just iivin' I
1372
01:29:31,125 --> 01:29:33,124
I on the knife edge I
1373
01:29:33,125 --> 01:29:36,125
I oh, it somehow
don't seem right I
1374
01:29:37,458 --> 01:29:39,374
I it's a high wire act I
1375
01:29:39,375 --> 01:29:41,582
I on the rough time I
1376
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:44,625
I survival through the night I
1377
01:29:49,875 --> 01:29:52,833
I survival through the night I
1378
01:29:58,208 --> 01:30:01,791
I survival through the night I
1379
01:30:01,792 --> 01:30:03,833
I survival I
1380
01:30:06,500 --> 01:30:09,250
I survival through the night I
1381
01:30:14,500 --> 01:30:16,707
I survival through the night I
1382
01:30:16,708 --> 01:30:19,833
I survival I
90077
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