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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,881 Mr O'Neill? 2 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,722 It's coming out, Peggy. 3 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,559 Leave it in! Leave it in! 4 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,449 Look at you! 5 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,830 Look at you! You're an angel. 6 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,711 I'm gonna love you so much. 7 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,797 And when you grow up... 8 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,844 you'll be the greatest woman this world has ever seen. 9 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,806 Just you wait. 10 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,352 And he was right! 11 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,861 Hello, sweetheart. Here, I've seen your daughter. 12 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,613 She's had the baby, ain't she? 13 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,197 Oh, ain't it lovely? Yeah, I seen it. 14 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,409 It's a dinky little lot, innit, darlin'? Ta ta. 15 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,494 Ugly looking thing. 16 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,081 How's your Margaret? 17 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,958 Tell her I said hello, sweetheart. 18 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543 Big old girl, ain't she, eh? 19 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,087 Yeah, Big Old Margaret. 20 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,840 Look! Look at that! 21 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,675 Oh, you've still got your little dog. 22 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,052 Oh, innit a lovely little thing. 23 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,845 Little dog. 24 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,765 Vicious bastard. 25 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,392 - Sorry I'm late, Nan. - Oh, here he is. 26 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,162 - You come up and see me? - I've come up to see ya. 27 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,288 You've come up to see me, ain't ya? 28 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,189 - I have, Nan. - Oh, you are a good boy. 29 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273 You're late. 30 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,650 I was trying to park, Nan. 31 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,942 You ain't got a car. 32 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,694 I've got a minibus, for my charity. 33 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,030 They give you a minibus 'cause you're gay? 34 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,114 I'm not gay, Nan. 35 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,326 Oh, hello, sweetheart. Ooh, what you got here? 36 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,869 Tarka dhal and saag aloo. 37 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,329 Tarka dhal and saag... 38 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,598 Well, that looks lovely, don't it? 39 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,207 Yeah, I'll have some of that, darlin'. 40 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,250 Erm, could you do me some without the spinach? 41 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,335 Mm, I can do that. 42 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,837 Yes and I... I don't want no lentils. 43 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,047 I suppose so. 44 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,840 Yeah, and no coriander. 45 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,759 Oh, that would just be a potato. 46 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,469 Oh, yes, smashing. I'll have a potato. 47 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,471 Thank you, darlin'. Pay the woman. 48 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,224 Oh, it's a bit plain, innit? 49 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,601 No, Nan, the minibus is a craft-mobile... 50 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,561 - For gays? - No, a craft-mobile 51 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,313 for people with emotional difficulties. 52 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,817 "A craft-mobile for people with emotional difficulties." 53 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,652 What a load of old shit! 54 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,197 Ooh... Ha-ha, little fat Buddha. 55 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,242 - I'll have that one. - That one? Are you sure? 56 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,993 Yes. I love him. 57 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:25,497 Wonderful man. Outstanding in his field. 58 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,998 Natural authority, you see. 59 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,043 When he speaks, you shut up and listen. 60 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,169 It's £50. 61 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,130 I'll give you 10, I know his worth. 62 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,632 Done! Been having trouble shifting this one, to be fair. 63 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,259 Oh, you surprise me, love. 64 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,261 Come on, then, let's take him home. 65 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,762 Nan, why do you want this? 66 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,806 I just love him. 67 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,106 Here, are you still drawing your cartoons? 68 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,400 - They're animations, Nan. - Oh, yeah? 69 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,484 I'm still doing them. 70 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,153 - I put them on YouTube. - Oh. 71 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,863 I've got 30 subscribers now. 72 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,322 Oh, someone's gone viral. 73 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,532 All right, Joanie love! 74 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,409 Hello, sweetheart! 75 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,493 Bastard. 76 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,287 Mind his head. 77 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,663 Ooh... 78 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,834 - Hello, Mrs Taylor. - Oh, hello, Carolyn. 79 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,419 Have you met my grandson? 80 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,422 This is my grandson, Jamie. He's come home to see me. 81 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,840 Oh, how lovely. 82 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,175 Well, lovely to meet you. 83 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,938 - It's a real pleasure. - Nice to meet you. 84 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,762 Can we squeeze in? 85 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,014 No chance, son. 86 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,523 You all right, Colin? 87 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,754 Well, we've just been to the doctor, actually. 88 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,822 Oh... For your diabetes? 89 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,657 Oh, I don't have diabetes. 90 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,075 Oh... Heart disease. 91 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,410 Er, not heart disease. 92 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,788 Gout? 93 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,456 He has to go for counselling. 94 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,000 - For your gout? - Er, no. 95 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,503 Apparently, I've been eating my feelings. 96 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,714 Have ya, darlin'? Oh... 97 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:02,219 Still, by the looks of things, they're delicious. 98 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,558 What are you huff in' and puffin' for? 99 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,393 Ooh, let me get that. 100 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,772 I have to ask, 101 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,566 why are you carrying that statue of Robert Mugabe? 102 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,902 Who is it? 103 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,238 Oh, I thought it was Trevor McDonald. 104 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,449 Shame. He's me favourite. 105 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,165 Mrs Taylor, we were wondering 106 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,043 if you would like to join us for Sunday lunch. 107 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,921 You can come, too, Jamie, if you like? 108 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,065 Oh, that sounds really nice. 109 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,632 Oh, we're very busy. 110 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,925 Oh. 111 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,510 Sorry, our diaries are full. 112 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,847 Ta ta. 113 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,723 - Bye. - Good to meet you. 114 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,560 What are you doing Sunday, Nan? She seemed nice. 115 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,853 Shh. 116 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,355 You know they're deviants. 117 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,898 What do you mean "deviants", Nan? 118 00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,277 Naturists. The pair of them. 119 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,488 They're having naked parties, if you don't mind. 120 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,866 - Oh, come on... - You mark my words, 121 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,034 I know what Sunday lunch means. 122 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,538 He'll be sat around the table with his nies hanging out, 123 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,375 she'll have her lils dangling in a gravy boat. No fear! 124 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,836 I can't believe that. How'd you know that? 125 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,507 They have organic fruit and veg delivered. 126 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,968 Once a week. In a box. 127 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,762 It don't mean they're walking around with no clothes on. 128 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,892 Can hear 'em, all day. Touching things. 129 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,477 With their bare arses! 130 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,902 Make us a cup of tea, son. 131 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,116 Oh, look at that one. Fancy handwriting. 132 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,077 Oh... 133 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,704 Let's have a look. 134 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,836 Junk, junk, bill, bill, 135 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,546 overdue bill. 136 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,548 Oh, me new cinema pass. Smashin'. 137 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,718 Final demand, junk, junk, summons. 138 00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,804 Come on, then... 139 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,316 Dear Joanie. I bet you didn't expect 140 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,485 to hear from me after all these years. 141 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,321 I've tried to write this letter so many times, 142 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,240 but time is not a luxury I have any more. 143 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,743 I'm dying, Joanie. 144 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,041 I have one last wish: that you will come and see me. 145 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,336 Even if you won't forgive me, I just wanna see you. 146 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,673 I've missed you terribly. I am still your sister. 147 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,676 With love, your Nelly. 148 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,843 Fuck off! 149 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:53,807 Who was it, Nan? 150 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,560 Ah, no one. Just a bill, you know. Usual old shit. 151 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,604 You don't normally get handwritten bills. 152 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,690 Don't you dare read that! 153 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,149 - Nan! - Jamie, I mean it! 154 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,151 You do, I'll cut you out me will. 155 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,654 What, and I won't get the Robert Mugabe statue? 156 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,374 Nan. 157 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,377 - Nan! - What? 158 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,020 Why do you never talk about Auntie Nell? 159 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,588 Don't you say her name in this house! 160 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,883 I could take you, you know? Got the minibus. 161 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,385 What do I wanna go and see her for? 162 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,137 Because she's dying, Nan. 163 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,639 Good. 164 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,433 If you don't go, you'll regret it. 165 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,035 It's not like you've got anything else to do. 166 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,144 I've got plenty to do, 167 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,413 - thank you very much. - Like what? 168 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,188 I've gotta watch me programmes. 169 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,982 I've got me sudoku. 170 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:47,027 I've got me Wowchers, they're gonna expire soon. 171 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111 You'll regret it. 172 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,488 Oh, will I? Pfff... Watch me. 173 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,700 I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying put and that's it. 174 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,538 Me again. 175 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,123 Sorry to interrupt. 176 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,250 Er, Colin and I were just chatting, 177 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,376 - and er... - Oh... 178 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,045 ...seeing as you can't come over Sunday, 179 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,797 we were wondering if we could tempt you over another day? 180 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,009 Friday or Saturday or whatever works for you, really. 181 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,012 Mm, sorry, love, I'm completely swamped. 182 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,139 - No, you're not, Nan. - Yes, I am. 183 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,782 She's not. She's free tonight, actually. 184 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,893 Oh, wonderful! 185 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,246 - Shall we say 8 o'clock, then? - She'd love that. 186 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,688 - Wouldn't you, Nan? - Er, Jamie... 187 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,249 Nan was just saying how much she'd like 188 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,584 to get to know her neighbours better. 189 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,609 Colin will be thrilled! 190 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,360 Yes, I bet he will. 191 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,671 You'll enjoy that, won't you, Nan? 192 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,821 Er, no, I can't come. 193 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,073 She'll see you later. 194 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,617 Yeah, I can't come 'cause my sister's dying. 195 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,538 Oh, God. 196 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,042 I'm so sorry. 197 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,752 Yeah. Yeah. 198 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,796 Yeah, we were very close. 199 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,799 Got to go and spend some time with her. 200 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,008 He's taking me to see her. 201 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,885 Yeah, 'course. 202 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,512 Well... 203 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,807 - We'll leave you to it. - Ah. 204 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,767 Sorry to disturb you. 205 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,019 Good luck with it all. 206 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,105 Mm... Mm. 207 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,985 You happy now, you interfering old Mary Ann? 208 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,322 Go on, then, go and get your minibus. 209 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,662 Ah! 210 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,215 Look at the state of this! 211 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,384 It's to make it stand out. 212 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,052 I'm hoping the bee will become iconic. 213 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,096 Iconic like the Fyre Festival. 214 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,807 Oh. 215 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,142 I might change the name. 216 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,477 Yeah, bit of a mouthful. 217 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,871 Right, Nan, if we have one stop in Birmingham, 218 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,373 I reckon we can make the last ferry in Liverpool and then... 219 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,833 What you talking about? 220 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,835 I think we can get to Nell's by Sunday. 221 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,670 We're not going to Nell's. 222 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,506 I've got a two-for-one Wowcher for a day spa in Coventry. 223 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,091 If we're only going to a day spa, 224 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,801 why have you brought so many clothes? 225 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,304 No, darlin', that's all my snacks. 226 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,014 Coventry's on the way to Nell's... 227 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,098 Is it? 228 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,059 Here, want a fridge Rustler? 229 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,394 Jesus, Nan. You can't eat them. 230 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,538 You know what they're made of? 231 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,563 Bits of chicken. 232 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,774 Yeah, chickens that have been bred and kept in micro cages 233 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,861 and then crushed and ground up and processed. It's appalling. 234 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,946 Mm. Appallingly delicious. 235 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,449 Look at all this toot you got in here. 236 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,035 Hashtag "road trip". 237 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,536 Hashtag "bants”. 238 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,787 Hashtag "crafts". 239 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706 What's this, knitting needles? 240 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,850 You can't have knitting needles 241 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,934 around negative thinkers, love. 242 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,644 Well, it depends 'cause it's a spectrum, isn't it? 243 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,729 You can with some of them, yeah. 244 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,230 Well, they... Not if they turn on each other, love. 245 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,255 That's all you need. 246 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,965 Here, ya, look, oi. Here, how many? 247 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,818 - Jame, how many can I do? - I don't know, Nan. 248 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,761 One... One, two... 249 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,970 - Here, Jay. - What? 250 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,055 - Jay. - What? 251 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,139 - Jamie! - What? 252 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,433 I've eaten a multicoloured tarantula. 253 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,517 Eh? 254 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,063 It's in me... 255 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,290 - It's in me mouth. - I know what you're doing. 256 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,649 Multicoloured. 257 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,733 Those are the legs. 258 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,817 Yeah, I know they are. 259 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,152 I'm eating the body. 260 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,696 Take a picture. One, two, three! 261 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,115 I thought I'd left me glasses at home, but I haven't. 262 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,200 Mm. 263 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285 You should put me in one of your cartoons. 264 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,247 I look like a fly. 265 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,457 - Who am I, Jame? - Charles Dickens. 266 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,793 - "It was the best of times..." - Charles Dickens. 267 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,089 "...it was the worst of times." Charles Dickens. 268 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,608 One, two, three, four, five! Go on, your go. 269 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,112 - Uh... I'm driving, Nan! - Oh, sorry. 270 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,059 Nan... Will you ever tell me 271 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,602 what happened with Auntie Nell? 272 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,062 She's a miserable old whore, 273 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,731 went off to live on an island off of Ireland, the end. 274 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,650 There you go. Now you know the whole story. 275 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,734 - Nan... - Now, I don't 276 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,528 - want to talk about it. - Come on... 277 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,891 Nah, I gotta take my angina pill! 278 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,032 Yeah. 279 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,618 Delicious. 280 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,246 If you don't tell me about Auntie Nell, 281 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,581 I'll tell you all about my charity work. 282 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,668 Aah, well, you've backed me into a corner now, son. 283 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,757 I was a daddy's girl, you see. 284 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,679 I was a beautiful-looking child. 285 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,099 I loved to bounce. Bounce, bounce, bounce. 286 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,728 There was only one thing I loved more than bouncing: 287 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,772 that was my father. I adored him. 288 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,026 Best part of my day was when he came home from work. 289 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,529 I was his pride and joy. Until one day, 290 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,698 he told me there was another one. 291 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,076 He said to me, "This is Nelly. She's your sister. 292 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,454 "You're gonna look after her till the day you die." 293 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,914 I wasn't that keen at first. 294 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,001 But it turned out she liked to bounce an' all. 295 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:59,422 And we became inseparable. Bounce, bounce, bounce. 296 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,050 We bounced our way all through our childhood. 297 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,012 Until the day my mother said those dreadful words... 298 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,764 Your father died this morning. 299 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,183 Tuberculosis. 300 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,769 There's nothing we can do, so let that be an end to it. 301 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,188 Now, stop your snivelling and buck up. 302 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,231 All's fair in love and war, Joanie. 303 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,318 There weren't no therapy through crafts 304 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,402 in them days, love. 305 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,738 We had to get straight on his horse and cart 306 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,864 and make a living. 307 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,074 Come on, Nell! 308 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,451 As the years went by, 309 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,578 Nell and I started building up our business. 310 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,455 Hello, sir. Can I interest you in a carpet... 311 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,624 Hello, madam. What can I do for you today, eh? 312 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,709 We were flying high, me and Nell. 313 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,378 We both had our roles. 314 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:42,423 She made eyes at the fellas, while I lugged away the gear. 315 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,218 'Course, nowadays you'd call it theft. 316 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,679 Get your gramophone! Gramophone! 317 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,183 We were a good team, me and Nell. 318 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:55,895 Should have seen us. They were the glory days. 319 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:02,110 But once she got a taste for it, she didn't wanna stop. 320 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,702 We had a plan to save up enough money 321 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,331 to buy a little cottage on an island off of Ireland. 322 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,376 That was the dream. It's where my father was born. 323 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,002 When we were young, 324 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,964 he used to tell us it's where the leprechauns come from. 325 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,844 'Course, can't say "leprechauns" no more. 326 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,055 Nowadays you just say "Irish". 327 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,975 You can imagine 328 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,852 what a bitter blow it is to me 329 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,063 that all my long struggle to win peace has failed. 330 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,608 This country is at war with Germany. 331 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,532 And then it was the blitz. 332 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,536 And everyone lived like they always tell you to. 333 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,746 Like every day was our last. 334 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,831 Me and Nell got a job 335 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,709 down the ammunitions factory, helping out our boys. 336 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,919 Friday night was dance night. 337 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,546 Oh, we used to love it. 338 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,549 We worked hard all week, then we let our hair down. 339 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,801 Oh, we had a great time. 340 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:10,928 Mind if I cut in? 341 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,473 'Course she was always more popular with the fellas. 342 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,184 Oh... Oh, do you mind, Joanie? 343 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,852 No, no, 'course not. Go on. 344 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,063 And I didn't mind. 345 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,400 Not much, anyway. 346 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,698 But, as my mother used to say, "All's fair in love and war." 347 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,955 There was this one fella, though... 348 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,040 ...Terry, 349 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,124 always firing after me. 350 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,501 I got this for you. 351 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419 Oh, leave off, Terry! 352 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,172 Morning, Joanie. 353 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,715 Morning, Joanie. 354 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,550 Morning, Joanie. Nicked this for ya. 355 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,094 Ain't got time for an horse, Tel. 356 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,806 He'd been there for as long as I could remember. 357 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,767 Poor sod. 358 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,311 What you doing here, Tel? This is for GI's. 359 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,021 How'd you get in? 360 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,147 Knocked out the doorman. 361 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,942 - We don't have a doorman. - Oh. 362 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,902 Listen, Joanie, 363 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,404 I went to sign up today, but they wouldn't let me. 364 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,989 Oh, what, do you fail the IQ test? 365 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,157 No, I passed that. 366 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,575 What was it, then? Your guts? 367 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,993 No! 368 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,121 Flat feet. Apparently I'm not fit for duty. 369 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,289 Shame. 370 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,334 So I thought... Well, I thought maybe it was a sign. 371 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,187 What, that you should get your feet looked at? 372 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,964 No, that I'm meant to stay here and look after you. 373 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,343 Joanie, you know I've always loved you. 374 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,012 We'd be good together, you and me. 375 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,684 Oh, Tel... 376 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,730 I'm sorry to interrupt. 377 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,275 I know it's rude, but I can't help myself. 378 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,901 Blimey! 379 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,989 Ain't you a big black beautiful sight for sore eyes. 380 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,534 Get off me, Tel. 381 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,098 I was wondering if you'd like 382 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,402 to go out with me Tuesday night? 383 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,934 Well, I can't do Tuesday. How about Monday? 384 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,143 I can't do Monday. How about Wednesday? 385 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,436 I can't do Wednesday. How about Friday? 386 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,646 I can't do Friday. How about Thursday? 387 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,939 I can't do Thursday. How about Saturday? 388 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,003 - I can't do Saturday... - Oh, jog on, you fat Yank! 389 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:14,385 Wow. 390 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,512 I'll take that as a no, then? 391 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,098 Oh, you weren't being serious, were you? 392 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,559 I'm absolutely serious. I think you're marvellous. 393 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,311 - Do you? - Yes! 394 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,440 Can I at least have this dance, then? 395 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,276 Well, yes, you may. 396 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,947 Excuse me, my costermonger friend... 397 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,409 We was just talking about philosophy, etcetera. 398 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,416 I'll be off then, Joanie. 399 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,881 Don't I know you? 400 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,384 We must have met before 401 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,054 Don't I know you? 402 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,182 Are you the one I'm looking for? 403 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,437 It's not a mistake You're here, I'm awake 404 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,691 And don't I know you? 405 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:15,988 I feel I have known you forever 406 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:21,619 Forever before 407 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:26,957 Yes, I have known you Forever... 408 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,626 Who's this handsome lunk? 409 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,753 Nelly. This is Walter. 410 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,339 He's from America. He's very tall and he's a Black man. 411 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,925 Yes. All these things are true. Nice to meet you. 412 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,302 'Ere, have you ever met Al Jolson? 413 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,096 Whatever's the matter with you, Nell? 414 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,597 Just because Walter's a Black man, 415 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,015 it don't mean he knows Al Jolson. 416 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,350 Al Jolson's not a Black man. 417 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,976 - Ain't he? - No. 418 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,537 He's a white man who paints his face black. 419 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,021 - Does he? - Yes. 420 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,147 Whatever for? 421 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,691 Well, due to fear and mistrust, 422 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,334 white mainstream audiences take pleasure 423 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,337 in the use of black face as a grotesque infantilisation 424 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,681 of Black people and Black culture. 425 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,531 Oh... Right. 426 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,157 So you have or you haven't met him? 427 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,575 I have not. 428 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,577 - Shame. - I've always thought so. 429 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,831 Step away from those white girls, boy. 430 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:07,915 - Excuse me? - Do what? 431 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,375 He'll step away from no one. 432 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,936 He's got more right to be here than you have, 433 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,938 - judging by the way you dance. - Okay, I'll handle it. 434 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,172 No, you stay out of it. Clear off, you. 435 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,882 Your kind's not welcome 'round here. 436 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,884 I regret ever dancing with you. 437 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,262 - Tainted. - Likewise. 438 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,349 Come on, Walter, let's have a proper dance. 439 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,103 Do you mind? 440 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:32,481 Oh, no, no. Not at all. Why... Why would I mind? 441 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,067 Okay. Well, see you later, Miss Joan... 442 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,402 Mm. 443 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,279 Come on, then. 444 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,533 Mm! 445 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,327 I've seen that look 446 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,164 I've read this book 447 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:52,835 Your Greek's not Greek to me 448 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,756 Oh, how I know you 449 00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:03,554 You're all I can see 450 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,142 Oh, how I know you 451 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:14,190 And know you know me 452 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,570 That was wonderful. 453 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,323 Pleasure to meet you. Both. 454 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,783 Thank you for making my evening. 455 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,701 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 456 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,329 And I hope I get to see you again... 457 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,541 on whatever day of the week is mutually convenient. 458 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,045 Yes. 459 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,129 Yes. 460 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,715 Oh. 461 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,515 Oh, those cheekbones. 462 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,725 Oh, you could cut yourself on them. 463 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,357 But I couldn't see him straight away, 464 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,193 because we were stuck down that shelter for weeks. 465 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,862 People copping off left, right and centre. 466 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,240 Not me, though. 467 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,408 I only had eyes for Walter. 468 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:08,702 All right, Joanie? 469 00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,996 Pull over, son. I'm dying for the lav. 470 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,207 Gotta go now. 471 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,376 We're 12 miles from the services, Nan. 472 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,686 Well, I'd step on it if I were you 473 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:19,046 before I pee myself all over your arts and crafts. 474 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,590 I can't, Nan, I'm already at the speed limit. 475 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,259 Mm, suit yourself. 476 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,521 Er, here we go. 477 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,280 Nan, you just peed into a Tupperware box, didn't ya? 478 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,240 I did, love. Yep. 479 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,327 Ooh... 480 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,581 Oh... 481 00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:55,207 I should have put a lid on that. 482 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,335 Looking forward to this day spa. 483 00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,588 What a thing, eh? Day spa. 484 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:02,214 What is a Hollywood, Jame? 485 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:04,800 Got one of them booked. 486 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,052 Is it to do with that fella off the Bake Off? 487 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:09,346 - Paul Hollywood, innit? - Yeah. 488 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,974 Maybe I'll meet him. Don't know. 489 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,143 Love the Bake Off, Jame. 490 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,603 - Love it, don't we, eh? - Yeah. 491 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,313 Sit there and make cupcakes. 492 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,440 Ha-ha. It's all changed though, innit, eh? 493 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,525 - It has. - A while ago now. 494 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,152 So, Mary Berry not in it. 495 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,906 You got Prue Leith, Noel Edmonds 496 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,616 and that other one who's left now... 497 00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,117 Sandi Tokspiss. 498 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,538 Sandi Fokstig. Sand... Sandi Snogfig. 499 00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,124 Sandi Stokpig. 500 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,752 Standi Tok... Standi Tokpic... 501 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,465 - Sandi To... - Toksvig. 502 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,177 Toksvig. 503 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,428 Toksvig. 504 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:50,888 Mandy Toksvig. 505 00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,561 -My name is Nan -JAMIE: Yeah 506 00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:59,563 -From London Town -What? 507 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,565 -You got a problem -Yeah 508 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:02,775 I'll take ya down! 509 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,068 Roll call! 510 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:07,988 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 511 00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:11,617 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 512 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,993 My name is Jamie... 513 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,078 No. 514 00:24:15,496 --> 00:24:19,041 Ooh, where they gone, then? I'm dying for a Rustler. 515 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,169 Oh... I can't find them. 516 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,339 Oh... Er... 517 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,760 Oh, here they are! Oh... Ooh, smell that! 518 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,643 Oh, Jamie, are we in one of your cartoons now? 519 00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:39,770 They're animations, Nan. 520 00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:42,231 Oh! Ain't it marvellous, eh? 521 00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,693 Better make a snack stop. 522 00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,195 - Ugh... - Won't be a minute. 523 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,532 Don't like them, don't like them, like them. 524 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,742 That'll keep me going. 525 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,827 Mm-hmm. 526 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,120 Mm. Delicious. 527 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,913 Hello. 528 00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,499 Get a job! 529 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:01,959 What did you do that for? 530 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,044 Breaks up the, mm, journey, don't it? 531 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,088 Come on then, Nan, tell me more. 532 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,174 If you must know, me and Walter finally 533 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,801 found a night to meet. 534 00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:14,304 Tuesday. Nelly tagged along. 535 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,850 Me and Walter got on like eyes are winking. 536 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,393 He saw me for who I really was. 537 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,897 Don't tell me you did your boiled egg routine? 538 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,358 What, me eggy eyed- lizard tongue combo? 539 00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:27,985 'Course I did, son! 540 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,737 I was trying to impress him. 541 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,280 And it worked. 542 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,408 'Course Nelly got the right needle. 543 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:37,244 She couldn't bear me getting the attention. 544 00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:40,414 So she found her own way to get noticed. 545 00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:43,208 Oh... 546 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:45,085 But I made him laugh, see? 547 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,428 What you two lunatics laughing about now? 548 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,197 Joanie was doing an impression 549 00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:58,140 of Mrs McDonald down at the market. 550 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,059 You do that again and I'll skin ya, 551 00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:02,186 ya wee bastard! 552 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:06,482 Ock aye the noo! 553 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,566 Mm. 554 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,068 She was shocking at impressions. 555 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:10,569 - Mm. - Embarrassing. 556 00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:11,737 Eh... 557 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:13,131 I dunno what you two are talking about 558 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,156 half the time, anyway. 559 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,501 But she did have a tidy pair of knockers, 560 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,211 which, at the end of the day, 561 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,339 he valued more highly than regional accents. 562 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,508 - Mm. - Shame. 563 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,350 But as the weeks went by... 564 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,228 ...Nelly got between us. Literally. 565 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,939 She bided her time and sealed the deal. 566 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,283 Don't go. What would we do without you? 567 00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,494 Oh, yeah. Don't be silly, stay. 568 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,097 You won't know what happens at the end. 569 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,207 Oh, I... I don't think anything important. 570 00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:12,422 Still, all's fair in love and war. 571 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,685 What you thinking about, Nan? 572 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,981 I was thinking... 573 00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,569 It never fails to amaze me when I see a fat girl married. 574 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,821 Nan, what is wrong with you? 575 00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:38,031 Curvy Brides' Boutique. 576 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,118 Seen that? Oh, that's me program me. 577 00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,288 Fat girls getting married. Amazing, innit? 578 00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,416 Enough of 'em for three series. 579 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,543 Most of 'em to skinny blokes. 580 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,587 Boggles your mind. 581 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,005 You wanna get us a drink, you two? 582 00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:54,631 Come on, Nan, let's get some sleep. 583 00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,218 Hold on... 584 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,804 This don't look like Coventry. 585 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:03,807 Everyone's orange. 586 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,440 It's Liverpool, Nan. 587 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:13,692 I think I missed the turning. 588 00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,255 I know what you're trying to do, love. 589 00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:17,696 You're trying to trick me into going to see Nell 590 00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:19,019 and I'm not gonna stand for it. 591 00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:21,825 But seeing as it's late 592 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,203 and they've got two-for-ones on Jager bombs, 593 00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:27,039 we'll stay here tonight. But, you mark my words, 594 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:30,042 6 o'clock tomorrow morning, we are out of here. 595 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:33,587 You are taking me to a day spa in Coventry, 596 00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:36,840 where I'm getting a manicure, my eyebrows threaded 597 00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:40,093 and a Hollywood. Whatever that is. 598 00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:44,973 You can't park there! 599 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,308 What's that? 600 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,102 I said, you can't park there! 601 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:56,652 Oh, have a look! 602 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,362 Hello, sweetheart! 603 00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,821 You... 604 00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:01,698 Not seen you in ages! 605 00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:02,908 Who is it, Nan? 606 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,368 Here, Jame, do you remember? 607 00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:08,872 It's that bastard woman from up the council! 608 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,791 You used to work up the council, didn't ya? 609 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,751 I did. Until you got me sacked. 610 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,169 Because you were a bastard. 611 00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:15,379 What you doing now, love? 612 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:16,922 Come back to Liverpool. 613 00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,924 I had to. 'Cause you got me fired 614 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:21,802 for being insensitive to the needs of the elderly. 615 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:23,512 Well, you were very insensitive. 616 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,514 You stopped me using a communal Sky dish. 617 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,767 It wasn't communal! You were stealing from your neighbour. 618 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,727 You said I traumatised ya. 619 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,854 I was very traumatised! 620 00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,690 I missed the finale of Ex on the Beach! 621 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,650 I have dreamt about seeing you again. 622 00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,735 Well, whatever floats your boat, love. 623 00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:39,903 And now here you are. 624 00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,073 Illegally parked across three disabled bays. 625 00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,993 Well, here's lucky... 626 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:48,662 I've got three disabled badges! 627 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:51,415 - Where'd you get them? - From up the council! 628 00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,667 They've been ever so nice to me since you left. 629 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,085 You shouldn't have three. 630 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,880 And yet I do. Riddle me that. 631 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,758 Oh, yeah, I do remember. It's Ms Mahler, isn't it? 632 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:03,760 It's Officer Mahler now. 633 00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:08,432 There is a distinct smell of urine in this minibus. 634 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:09,558 Mm, that was him. 635 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,726 Let's go, Nan. 636 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,019 Careful, you. 637 00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:14,604 If you put a foot wrong while you're in my city, 638 00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:16,231 I'll be onto you. 639 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,942 I am a member of the road policing unit. 640 00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:21,445 - Traffic warden. - Traffic police. 641 00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,405 - Traffic warden. - They are vastly different. 642 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:24,614 Do you give out tickets? 643 00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:25,866 Yes, I do. 644 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,367 Then you're a traffic warden. 645 00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:31,038 Anyway, lovely to see you again. 646 00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:34,624 I'm glad you've maintained that snap-on hairdo. 647 00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,376 It's like a LEGO hat, innit? 648 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:37,919 Come on, Nan, let's go. 649 00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:42,132 Oh, looks like this was named after you. 650 00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:46,053 That is grossly offensive to an officer of the law. 651 00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:49,264 Well, it's what most people call traffic wardens, anyway. 652 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,891 Ta ta, square head! 653 00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:11,828 I'll go and have a word with them. 654 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,747 No, leave off. 655 00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:15,415 What you gonna do, invite them 656 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,043 to a "Find The Goddess Within" workshop? 657 00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:20,003 No, I'll just ask them politely. 658 00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:21,338 Like a chicken shit? 659 00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,464 What do you call me? 660 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,132 Chicken... shit. 661 00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,051 Nobody calls me chicken shit! 662 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,636 Well, I do all the time. 663 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,554 I'll sort it. 664 00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:33,642 No, leave off, Marty McFly, I'll deal with this. 665 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,187 Nan, don't. They sound really drunk. 666 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:38,897 Nah, it's all right, son, 667 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,816 I once knocked out a skinhead in Magaluf. 668 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,860 I think I can handle a couple of pissed-up rugby lads. 669 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:08,510 Now, listen up! Millennials! 670 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,229 I said, "Shove it up your arse, 671 00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:20,522 "it's only Tuesday." 672 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,199 Oh! Give us another bit of lemon, 673 00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,534 that's repeating on me! 674 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,554 - Get her one, come on! - Come on, let's go again! 675 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,163 Down again! 676 00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:38,206 Hello. 677 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,541 Hello, darlin'! 678 00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:44,254 Hello, Jame. It's my grandson. 679 00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:48,091 Come down and see me. Come down and see me! 680 00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,111 Nan, don't you think we should be getting some rest? 681 00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:52,471 No! I'm hanging with me squad! 682 00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,389 Meet me pals. This is Froggo, 683 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,183 this is Mabbo, this is Nutsack, 684 00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:58,310 this is Piss Up, this is Crystal Meth Cathy, 685 00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,620 - this is Arsemunch... - Arsemunch. 686 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,813 ...and this one here on the end, this is Dan. 687 00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,398 - He's gonna Kill us all. - Yep. 688 00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,734 Come on! Do a shot! 689 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,361 Do a shot! Do a shot! 690 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,906 No, I don't want to, Nan. I've gotta be up early. 691 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:13,366 Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink! 692 00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,285 And I've gotta drive in the morning! 693 00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:18,580 Shame! Boo! Come on then, Nutsack. 694 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,665 Load me up again! 695 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:40,810 Oh! Look out, here she is... 696 00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:42,604 Sir Ken Dodd. 697 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,940 Are you aware that you're being drunk and disorderly? 698 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,944 Are you aware how much like k.d. lang you look? 699 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,755 Keep your voice down, people are trying to sleep. 700 00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:51,863 Their loss. 701 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,658 They won't get another chance to catch 702 00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:58,119 Crystal Meth Cathy burp the alphabet! 703 00:33:58,203 --> 00:33:59,287 Go on, love. 704 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:02,874 Now listen, 705 00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,877 it's all just a laugh with people like you. 706 00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:09,297 Coming in, taking advantage of the system 707 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,758 and good hard-working people like me. 708 00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:14,844 I had to rebuild my life 'cause of you. 709 00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,680 While you remain oblivious 710 00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,015 to the damage you cause all around ya. 711 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:23,687 Well, now that I've got you in my sights again, 712 00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,897 I won't let you out of it. 713 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,316 And I will have my revenge... 714 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,820 in this world or the next. 715 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,197 Right, yep, sounds like a plan. 716 00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:35,991 Yep, see ya! 717 00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:42,956 Is that from Gladiator? 718 00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:48,295 Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan! Nan! 719 00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:50,547 Can't hear ya! 720 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:53,592 What's my name? 721 00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,428 - Come on, then! - Yeah! 722 00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,078 Whoo! 723 00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,247 Better take me angina pill. 724 00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,835 Here we go! 725 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,422 Oh... 726 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,091 Oh. 727 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:36,384 What's up, Nan? 728 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,927 I dropped me pill! 729 00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:40,847 You wanna drop a pill? 730 00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,099 Yeah, dropped me pill. 731 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:44,934 Are you sure? 732 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,228 Well, 'course I'm sure! 733 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,648 Legend! 734 00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,744 Oh, that's it! You found it! 735 00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:06,331 Thank you, Arsemunch. 736 00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,797 Delicious. 737 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,591 Mm? Mm? 738 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:28,103 Oh... Oh, oh, oh, oh... Here we go! 739 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:30,313 I need... I need to come in. 740 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:31,398 In you go. 741 00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,982 Excuse me! Excuse me! 742 00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:34,943 Nan! 743 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,488 Nan? Nan? 744 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,408 Oi! Oi! 745 00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:43,535 - Jamie! What's up? - Where's my Nan? 746 00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:52,460 Fuckin' have it! 747 00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,159 Excuse me! 748 00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:28,830 Ooh! Mind me canary! 749 00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:30,331 Nan! Nan! 750 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,882 Hello there, sweetheart! 751 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:44,512 It's like... 752 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,807 It's like being on the moon, innit, eh? 753 00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:49,601 Are we on the moon? 754 00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:51,102 We're in Liverpool, Nan. 755 00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,854 No! 756 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,483 Ain't it amazing how the feet get on the floor, 757 00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,109 and they ju... 758 00:37:58,193 --> 00:37:59,569 Oh... 759 00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:03,865 Oh, Officer Mahler! 760 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,366 - Get off! - Bring it in... 761 00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:07,535 Oh... 762 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:11,039 Here... Oh, it's a nice bit of kit, love. 763 00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:12,290 That is police property! 764 00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:14,292 - Nan... - Jame, put the hat on me. 765 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:16,503 Have a go with the hat. Ha-ha. 766 00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:21,674 All units. 767 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,259 ...location, please, Officer Mahler. 768 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:24,344 Roger that. 769 00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:29,933 - Can you hear that as well? - Yeah. 770 00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:31,202 Oh, look... Ooh, how's that happened? 771 00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:32,227 All right. 772 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,729 Oh... You can leave me here, Jame. 773 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:36,898 - Oh, no. - I like it here! 774 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,858 Oh, it's nice. Look at the sky. 775 00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:41,152 No, Nan. 776 00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:42,695 Put that hat on. 777 00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,574 Put that on your head, love. Put that on. 778 00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,077 Cover that up. 779 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,329 I love the Scouse. 780 00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:54,165 I love the Scouse. I do, darlin'. 781 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,876 Why do I love the Scouse so much, Jame? 782 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,086 Mind you, I don't know how 783 00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:01,047 anyone understands what they're saying. Hollyoaks. 784 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,883 It's all... Innit, eh? 785 00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:06,344 ...and a... 786 00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,680 Where is she? Mwah... 787 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:11,391 I love that one! Mwah, mwah, mwah... 788 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,810 - Come on, Nan. - Mwah, mwah... 789 00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:14,894 Come on. 790 00:39:14,978 --> 00:39:18,064 Oh, she's my favourite Scouser! 791 00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:19,691 Ooh, look how many stairs. 792 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:24,904 I will get you, old woman. I will get you. 793 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,824 Careful... Shit. 794 00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:31,911 I love you, Jame... Oh, ain't that soft, eh? 795 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,122 Ah... You know... 796 00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,165 You know that though, don't you? You know that. 797 00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,250 I do, Nan. 798 00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,253 Yes, you know 'cause you are a good boy. 799 00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,421 I know, Nan. 800 00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:42,982 - No, down here, Nan. - You are a good boy. 801 00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:45,341 Ah, yeah... Do you know that? 802 00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,218 You know it, don't you? 803 00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:51,764 Er, listen... 804 00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,352 - What? - I didn't say anything. 805 00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:57,645 Shh! 806 00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:05,278 I can be an absolute mare to you, I know. 807 00:40:05,361 --> 00:40:06,613 I know. 808 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,366 And I don't... I don't... 809 00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:14,913 So fuckin' soft, this is... 810 00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:19,667 I don't... I don't always tell you how I feel. 811 00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:20,919 Mm. 812 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:25,715 But I am telling you now, right now... 813 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:30,553 What's under there? Look at this! 814 00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:33,348 Look at the little hands. 815 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,560 Yeah, I am telling you, son... 816 00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,358 You make me so proud. 817 00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,445 I love you, darlin'. 818 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,949 Thanks, Nan, I love you too. 819 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,454 And I do miss my Nell. 820 00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:00,792 Oh... I miss her. 821 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,173 Nan! 822 00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,467 Oh, get up, you lazy bastard! 823 00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:12,261 Come on, we've got a spa to get to! 824 00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:14,055 Well, that was nice while it lasted. 825 00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:16,683 Ooh, useless. No stamina. 826 00:41:16,766 --> 00:41:19,060 Ooh. That was one I didn't want. 827 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,272 Right, let's go to Nell's. 828 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:27,110 - We're going to Coventry! - Ooh... manners. 829 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,866 Oh, hello. 830 00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:36,202 Our favourite traffic warden's up early. 831 00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:38,621 What an absolute fruitcake. 832 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,498 Oh. 833 00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,084 Nan, who keeps texting ya? 834 00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:45,586 Oh, we've got a group chat, me and the lads. 835 00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,090 Froggo's just sent me a photo of him spewing on a cat. 836 00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:52,343 That's just... classic Froggo, that is. 837 00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,904 Did you ever get together with Walter? 838 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,347 Chicken bites, chicken skewers, 839 00:41:56,431 --> 00:41:59,892 pork shots. High in protein, big on flavour. 840 00:41:59,976 --> 00:42:02,478 I mean, absolutely delicious. 841 00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:03,646 Look at that! 842 00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:07,817 They've squashed all that meat into one tasty mouthful. 843 00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,028 - Smashing. - Nan! 844 00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:19,579 Go on, Jame, your turn. 845 00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:21,372 -My name is Jamie -Yeah! 846 00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,416 - Hip hip hooray! - Yep! 847 00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:25,334 -I drive a minibus -Yep! 848 00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:26,711 - Because... - Because I'm gay 849 00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:27,795 Roll call! 850 00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,005 That's it. Yeah! 851 00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,758 That's it, that's the way it goes. Yeah. 852 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:35,011 I mean, "hip hip hooray" bit was pony. 853 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:38,097 But you're only starting out, it's all right. 854 00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:54,405 Gotta say, Nan, I'm really impressed with your stamina. 855 00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:55,490 It's amazing how you... 856 00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:03,956 Sorry, Nan, but we've come too far. 857 00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,257 Oh... Oh... 858 00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,516 Don't wake up. Please don't wake up! 859 00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:46,666 Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! 860 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,668 Oh... 861 00:43:48,751 --> 00:43:50,628 Oosh! What's that? 862 00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:52,630 Where am I? 863 00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:56,259 I'm not in Ireland, am I? 864 00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,970 Am I in Ireland? 865 00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:01,389 I'm in fucking Ireland? 866 00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:03,432 What have you done? 867 00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:04,892 Sorry, Nan. I just thought 868 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:07,395 we can't go back, so we may as well go forward. 869 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,105 If you don't wanna see Nell, that's fine, 870 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:12,191 but I'd like to meet her. You can just wait in the bus. 871 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,069 Oh, all right. Come on, then. 872 00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:18,072 But after we've had a quick drink, eh? 873 00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:20,992 Proper Guinness, quench me thirst, then we'll be off. 874 00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,660 Guinness? It's 9:00am. 875 00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,287 When in Rome. 876 00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:27,832 And it's no, nay, never 877 00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,041 Go on, my son! 878 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:32,003 No, nay, never, no more 879 00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:36,674 Will I play the wild rover 880 00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:39,677 No, never, no more! 881 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:42,114 Come on, Nan, we should get going. 882 00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:44,557 Oh, my grandson Jamie. 883 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,018 Here, come and meet my new best friend, Mick. 884 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:49,937 I love your Nan! What a treat, you lucky fella. 885 00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:51,647 Yeah. She's a real prize. 886 00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:54,692 Ooh, look, what you got there? 887 00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:57,820 M-M-M. What's that stand for? Mick Mick Mick? 888 00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,031 You got a stutter? 889 00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:01,532 She's the best! 890 00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,492 Listen to that accent, Jame. 891 00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:07,288 Everything he says sounds like good news on a sunny morning. 892 00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,916 Well, you say that, but I have my dark days. 893 00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,792 Lilting melody. 894 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:13,920 Sometimes I struggle to get up in the morning... 895 00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,005 I've never been properly diagnosed, 896 00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,132 but I'm pretty sure I have clinical depression. 897 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:21,761 A real tonic you are, son! I could listen to him all day. 898 00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,262 You have, Nan. 899 00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:24,722 Come on, we've gotta go. 900 00:45:24,805 --> 00:45:26,140 Mick needs a lift. 901 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,642 One for the road, son'? 902 00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,405 Yeah, let's. Why not drown me sorrows, huh? 903 00:45:29,477 --> 00:45:31,437 See what I mean. 904 00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,398 Shabooya, roll call! 905 00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:38,110 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 906 00:45:38,194 --> 00:45:39,362 My name is Mick 907 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,530 - Yeah! - I've drank a lot 908 00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:43,282 - What? - I'm feeling sick now 909 00:45:43,366 --> 00:45:44,784 - Yes! - That's all I've got 910 00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:45,868 Roll call! 911 00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:46,953 That is how you do it! 912 00:45:47,036 --> 00:45:49,163 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 913 00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:50,873 See? Excellent work! 914 00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,083 Shabooya-yah-yah 915 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,876 Shabooya, roll call! 916 00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,713 What's all this back here? 917 00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:58,923 It's craft therapy. 918 00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,508 Here, Mick, Mick, Mick, 919 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,719 make yourself a mood cube. You'll enjoy that! 920 00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:06,097 Yeah, I'll give it a go. 921 00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:07,223 Pork shots? 922 00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:13,437 Whoops! 923 00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,439 Butter fingers! 924 00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,525 Don't worry, love, there's plenty more 925 00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,527 where they came from. 926 00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:20,778 Wait, what time is it? 927 00:46:20,903 --> 00:46:21,904 It's 2.30. 928 00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:22,989 Oh, we're early. 929 00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:24,115 Early for what? 930 00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,878 Turn right up ahead and then the next left. 931 00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:26,909 Why? 932 00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,495 My God! No of fence, 933 00:46:29,578 --> 00:46:31,789 but there's a distinct smell of urine in here. 934 00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:36,085 No of fence taken, darling, not with that voice. 935 00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,213 Here, I've gotta say, son, 936 00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:41,924 you were right. It's magical up here. 937 00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:43,592 Look at this! 938 00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:44,927 So? 939 00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,054 Oh, leave off with the reminiscing. 940 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,139 I'm enjoying the view. 941 00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:49,557 Why don't you go and help Mick, 942 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,975 Mick, Mick with his mood cube? 943 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,226 Oh, come on, Nan, tell me. 944 00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:54,520 You must have been upset about Nell and Walter. 945 00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,606 Well, course I was. 946 00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,902 But I had no choice, did I? I had to get on with me life 947 00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:03,321 and forget all about him. 948 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,410 Problem was I'd see him everywhere. 949 00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:12,163 And my heart would skip a beat. 950 00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:17,460 And, I swear, the way he'd look at me. 951 00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:21,756 Come on. 952 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:25,885 And then, one day... 953 00:47:28,971 --> 00:47:30,365 Not now, Terry, I'm not in the mood. 954 00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:32,183 Your fella told me to give you this. 955 00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,310 I thought you'd be sad if you didn't get it. 956 00:47:35,144 --> 00:47:36,145 Thanks. 957 00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:39,565 I hope you get what makes you happy, Joanie. 958 00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:46,906 Dearest Joanie, 959 00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:49,408 I've been deployed and leave for France tonight. 960 00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,243 I need to see you before I go. 961 00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,846 Please come and meet me at the station. 962 00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:55,790 I beg you. Don't tell Nell. Walter. 963 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,085 Here, what you got there? 964 00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:01,212 Just another bleedin' love letter from Tel. 965 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:05,216 Oh. Poor fella. He doesn't give up, does he? 966 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:12,807 At work, I could barely contain me excitement. 967 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,143 Ooh, is that a new hat, Fee? 968 00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:17,787 Here, Lil, ain't it your birthday today? 969 00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,271 - Yeah. - Good luck to ya. 970 00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,661 Ooh, look at you! All dolled up. 971 00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,498 You've been grinning like a loon all day. 972 00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,291 What's the matter with you? 973 00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:45,172 Nothing. I'm just feeling... I don't know, hopeful. 974 00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,550 Oh, here, have you got a minute? 975 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:52,346 I've got some wonderful news. Been waiting to tell ya. 976 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,808 What is it? 977 00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,184 You'll never believe it. 978 00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,937 I'm expecting. 979 00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,149 You what? 980 00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:06,402 How about that? You're gonna be an auntie. 981 00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,197 You're having a baby? 982 00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:12,491 Yeah. Smashing, innit? 983 00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:16,120 And you'll have to look after me while he's away. 984 00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:18,873 You will look after me, won't you, Joanie? 985 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:21,584 Does he know? 986 00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:22,877 No. 987 00:49:24,253 --> 00:49:25,796 Well, hadn't you better tell him? 988 00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,882 Well, he's going to war, Joanie. 989 00:49:28,716 --> 00:49:30,301 I don't want to burden him with it. 990 00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:31,927 Walter needs a clear head, 991 00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:34,430 not worried about me and a baby. And then, 992 00:49:34,513 --> 00:49:36,032 when he gets back, it'll be a lovely surprise 993 00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,434 and then we can get married. 994 00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:43,355 Oh. Ain't life wonderful? 995 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,609 Yeah. 996 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:19,850 You came. 997 00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:24,480 Nell wants to get married. To me. 998 00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:25,606 I gathered. 999 00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,942 I'm very fond of her, you know that. 1000 00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,693 Er, looks like it. 1001 00:50:29,777 --> 00:50:31,529 I got carried away thinking 1002 00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:32,923 I could have fun with both of you. 1003 00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:34,073 This damn war made me feel 1004 00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,242 like I could act like there was no tomorrow. 1005 00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:37,576 Look, it's all right. 1006 00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:38,661 And it wasn't fair. 1007 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,329 And I'm sorry if I hurt you. 1008 00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:41,830 Please, don't. 1009 00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:43,040 But the truth is, 1010 00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:44,833 if there is a tomorrow, 1011 00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,837 it's you I'd want to spend it with, not her. 1012 00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,758 Oh. Walter. 1013 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,322 Well, I don't know where you got that idea from, 1014 00:50:57,346 --> 00:50:58,764 because the feeling's not mutual. 1015 00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:00,266 You don't mean that. 1016 00:51:00,349 --> 00:51:03,811 Oh, don't I? I... I only let you pal around 1017 00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:06,522 with me and Nell because I knew she was sweet on ya. 1018 00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:09,024 I mean, what would I want with a big longshanks like you? 1019 00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:10,985 Joanie, I'm being serious. 1020 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,153 So am I. Now get on that train. 1021 00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:15,489 This can't be true. 1022 00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,409 Well, it is, Walter. And the sooner you get it 1023 00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,661 into that fat Yank head of yours, the better. 1024 00:51:21,787 --> 00:51:23,014 Now get on that train and go and do 1025 00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,318 something useful with your life. 1026 00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:27,209 Please. 1027 00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:29,545 Joanie, you're killing me. 1028 00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:33,088 This could be the last time we ever see each other. 1029 00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:37,011 Oh, well. Ta, ta. 1030 00:51:59,033 --> 00:52:02,494 Joanie, I swear I will make a good life for you. 1031 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,289 I will do everything I can to make you happy. 1032 00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:07,875 I will be your rock. I will be your heart. 1033 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,836 Please, Joanie. Will you marry me? 1034 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,129 Yes. 1035 00:52:12,421 --> 00:52:13,982 No, I'm sorry, I said, "Will you marry me?" 1036 00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:16,133 I know, and I said yes. 1037 00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:22,848 Wow. 1038 00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:24,308 How'd he react? 1039 00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,643 He shit himself. 1040 00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:28,354 I don't think either of us were expecting it. 1041 00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,898 We did a quick registry office 1042 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:32,650 and moved in together. 1043 00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,360 It was quite the weekend. 1044 00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:37,071 - Finished. - Wow, that's amazing. 1045 00:52:37,613 --> 00:52:39,615 What's all this then, Mick, Mick, Mick? 1046 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,408 Represents the struggle for dominance 1047 00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,243 between man and beast. 1048 00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:44,995 The machine that tries to belittle him, 1049 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,998 and how the only way to beat the cruel system of capitalism 1050 00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:49,708 is to blow it up from the inside. 1051 00:52:49,792 --> 00:52:50,793 Oh. 1052 00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:53,087 And I thought it was a gonk. 1053 00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,089 Feeling better? 1054 00:52:55,756 --> 00:52:58,300 I won't lie, I do. 1055 00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:01,637 See? The healing power of crafts. 1056 00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,722 Erm, Froggo again. 1057 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:04,848 It's the 4am news, 1058 00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,351 and gardaí are still on the hunt for an arsonist 1059 00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:09,978 who planted explosives in a factory fire in Kildare. 1060 00:53:12,481 --> 00:53:13,482 The last suspected attack 1061 00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:15,567 believed to be as recent as Tuesday. 1062 00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:16,944 Garda believe the arsonist 1063 00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,071 to be a militant animal rights activist 1064 00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:20,906 who is considered extremely dangerous 1065 00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,700 and to be avoided at all costs. 1066 00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,743 It's all happening in Ireland, innit? 1067 00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,955 ...describe him as a man with dark hair, deep-set eyes, 1068 00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:31,166 and a tattoo on his arm with the letters M-M-M. 1069 00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:34,837 And now for the weather. 1070 00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,630 I'm afraid there's more doom and gloom. 1071 00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,048 Mick, Mick, Mick. 1072 00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,717 "Meat means murder." 1073 00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,678 Oh? Right. 1074 00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,347 Yeah, that makes more sense. 1075 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:50,936 Well, we better make a move. 1076 00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:53,021 Yeah, busy schedule. 1077 00:53:53,105 --> 00:53:55,107 Yeah, I've got to go see my sister. She's dying. 1078 00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,275 - Get in the van. - What? 1079 00:53:56,442 --> 00:54:00,821 Get in the van. 1080 00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:04,032 I've gotta say, even now, 1081 00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:07,244 it's hard not to feel charmed. 1082 00:54:07,953 --> 00:54:11,623 Let's all take a nice drive to the countryside. 1083 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,000 What are you gonna do? 1084 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:15,878 "We." What are "we" gonna do? 1085 00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,921 We're gonna blow up a farm. 1086 00:54:18,839 --> 00:54:21,425 A farm? With what? 1087 00:54:21,508 --> 00:54:23,010 With this. 1088 00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,263 Oh-ho, no, we're not, son. As we know, 1089 00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:29,308 I'm not immune to your dulcet tones, 1090 00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,435 but I've gotta draw the line somewhere. 1091 00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,396 You know, there's a good way to live, 1092 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,773 and there's a bad way. 1093 00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,399 No. 1094 00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:40,778 And the bad way is walking away from what's right. 1095 00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,155 And what's a good way? 1096 00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:46,700 It doesn't matter. Now you don't have a choice. 1097 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,911 - Ah, done it again. - What are you doin'? 1098 00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:51,538 I'm not a monster, I'm on a mission. 1099 00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,373 You don't know what they do to them. 1100 00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:54,875 - To whom? - To the animals. 1101 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,086 Don't. 1102 00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:00,756 Now that's a waste. They're already dead. 1103 00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,382 The way they treat them. 1104 00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:05,219 Bred from birth to die in horrific circumstances. 1105 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,095 It's just not right! 1106 00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,097 All right, son. Keep it light. 1107 00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,326 All I did was let the animals go free, 1108 00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:13,727 and then burn down the buildings. Is that a crime? 1109 00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:16,104 - Well, yeah, course it is. - Definitely a crime. 1110 00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:17,948 - What do you want with my nan? - Collateral. 1111 00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:19,605 She comes with me and then 1112 00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,010 when we're done, you drive us away. 1113 00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,195 Are you touched? 1114 00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,989 I'm not blowing up a fucking farm. 1115 00:55:26,281 --> 00:55:27,950 I'm a pensioner. 1116 00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:30,786 I'm not spending me last few years in a cell 1117 00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:33,455 fighting off a woman called Beth. 1118 00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,290 That's an offensive stereotype. 1119 00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:38,669 Oh, wake up and smell the lesbian. 1120 00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:40,921 Orange might be the new black. 1121 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,538 But they still wanna have a go 1122 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,132 up your clacker when the lights go out. 1123 00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:56,854 Security takes ten minutes to change shift. 1124 00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:58,105 That's gonna be our window. 1125 00:55:58,438 --> 00:56:00,691 So let's get in position before the guard comes out. 1126 00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,193 Come on. When you get the signal, 1127 00:56:03,277 --> 00:56:04,695 you step on it and come and get us 1128 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:05,839 and then we get the hell out of here, all right? 1129 00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,239 What's the signal? 1130 00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:09,133 A bloody great big explosion. That be enough for ya? 1131 00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:10,951 - Yeah. - Okay, let's go. Come on. 1132 00:56:11,034 --> 00:56:12,411 You've got it all caught. 1133 00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,788 Get the seat belt off first, please. 1134 00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:16,290 Oh, that's all I need! 1135 00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:29,678 Oh. 1136 00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:39,104 I mean, this is all I need, I can tell you that much. 1137 00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,188 I shouldn't be here. 1138 00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:41,912 I'm supposed to be cashing in me Wowchers. 1139 00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,776 All I wanted was to get a Paul Hollywood 1140 00:56:44,860 --> 00:56:46,153 and see Coventry. 1141 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:48,196 Nah. But instead, I'm handcuffed 1142 00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:50,699 to Daniel O-fucking-Donnell. 1143 00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:52,492 - Oh, no. - What? 1144 00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:54,202 - Oh, I need the lav. - You're joking me. 1145 00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:55,996 No, no. 1146 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,414 Oh, we'll have to go over there. 1147 00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:59,583 Ooh, quick. Oh, quick. 1148 00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:01,835 Quick. 1149 00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,462 Let me behind this bush. 1150 00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:05,547 Oh, come on, it's fallin' out of me. 1151 00:57:05,631 --> 00:57:07,591 - Ugh! - Let's get this done. 1152 00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:14,598 Hello, mate. 1153 00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:15,682 Are you lost? 1154 00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,101 Yeah, I am, actually. 1155 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:19,394 What are you lookin' for? 1156 00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:21,418 You're pretty far away from anywhere. 1157 00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:23,941 I'm looking... 1158 00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:27,069 Looking, looking... 1159 00:57:27,819 --> 00:57:30,447 Looking to get into the security game. 1160 00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:32,240 - You? - Yep. 1161 00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:33,867 Yeah, right. 1162 00:57:35,243 --> 00:57:36,244 Open the door. 1163 00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:39,665 Your mini bus says... 1164 00:57:39,748 --> 00:57:40,958 Ooh! 1165 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:42,042 Find me a dock leaf, son. 1166 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,603 It's running down the back of me legs. 1167 00:57:43,627 --> 00:57:44,628 Mind my shoes! 1168 00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:47,172 Yeah, it's a long story. 1169 00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,299 Is it? 1170 00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:56,345 I don't know what they put 1171 00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:57,391 in them fridge Rustlers. 1172 00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:00,435 But it definitely don't go with 12 pints of Guinness! 1173 00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:02,688 Fuck me! 1174 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:07,651 We've got, erm, buttons, shells, feathers, 1175 00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,945 googly eyes, crayons. 1176 00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,364 My wife finds colouring in very soothing. 1177 00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:15,200 - Oh, does she? - Yeah. 1178 00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:18,662 I'm not great with crayons, 1179 00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:19,997 but I've tried a bit of origami 1180 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,280 and I was surprisingly nimble. 1181 00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:22,958 That's nice. 1182 00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:29,840 Come on then, Mick, Mick, Mick. 1183 00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,427 Let's do this, you mad vegan fucker. 1184 00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:39,766 Actually, I've put a lot of posts on Pinterest. 1185 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:40,851 Oh, right. 1186 00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:46,815 It was decoupage that changed the paradigm for me. 1187 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,568 - Really? - Oh, absolute game-changer. 1188 00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:51,737 You have to have the precision of a sniper 1189 00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:54,489 and the gossamer-like touch of a butterfly's wing. 1190 00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:57,242 Look, you seem like a really nice man 1191 00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:59,220 and I love that you get so much out of papier-mâché, 1192 00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:00,847 but I'm in a really complicated situation. 1193 00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:03,832 Decoupage is not papier-mâché. It's more glaze based. 1194 00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,792 My mistake. When I said papier-mâché... 1195 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,085 Hang on. 1196 00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:08,920 Oh, cluck. Cluck me. 1197 00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,048 Huh? 1198 00:59:17,471 --> 00:59:19,097 I'm coming! 1199 00:59:26,271 --> 00:59:27,272 Come on! 1200 00:59:37,157 --> 00:59:38,700 I suppose we gotta make a move... 1201 00:59:41,787 --> 00:59:42,996 Come on. 1202 00:59:44,206 --> 00:59:45,999 Quickly, hurry up, get in! 1203 00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,628 That was amazing! Ha-ha! 1204 00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:58,553 You're a good man, Jamie. We saved all them chickens! 1205 01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:02,849 Nearly all of 'em. 1206 01:00:03,391 --> 01:00:05,560 - What do we do now? - Drive, drive! 1207 01:00:05,644 --> 01:00:08,230 Go, go, go, go! 1208 01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:15,487 Yeah! 1209 01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,240 Now this is what I call a proper day out! 1210 01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,287 Oh! 1211 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,835 - Ahh. No. - Oh! 1212 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:39,302 I think I lost 'em. 1213 01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:42,388 Come on, then, Mick. Aah! 1214 01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,559 - Oh, no. - Wooo. 1215 01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:55,819 This is insane. 1216 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:01,241 What do we do now? 1217 01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:04,953 I am buzzing. 1218 01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:07,831 I gotta say, 1219 01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,892 I could see how you could get a taste for all this, 1220 01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,085 Mick, Mick, Mick. Whoo! 1221 01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:15,672 I've never felt so alive. I'm buzzing. 1222 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:17,441 Is this what they mean when they say it, eh? 1223 01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,676 Because I am buzzing. 1224 01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,928 I do feel like I'm buzzing. 1225 01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,890 It makes me wonder what I've been doing all my life. 1226 01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:26,558 Well, we didn't just do it for the buzz. 1227 01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:28,185 There was a point to what we did. 1228 01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:29,269 Oh, I see. 1229 01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,937 Can you uncuff my nan, please? 1230 01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:33,440 I can't. I chucked the key out the window, remember? 1231 01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:34,816 You got a saw back here? 1232 01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:37,611 It's a craft mobile for people with emotional difficulties. 1233 01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,029 I don't carry sharp objects. 1234 01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,364 Well, I guess we're stuck together then, aren't we? 1235 01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:43,593 We need to get out of the country 1236 01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,677 and then we'll work it out. 1237 01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:45,785 Get out of the country? 1238 01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,538 We're wanted criminals. There'll be police everywhere. 1239 01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:50,749 And they'll be watching the airports, the sea ports. 1240 01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:52,417 It's only a matter of time. 1241 01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:53,895 I think we should hand ourselves in. 1242 01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:56,421 Oh, calm down, you big old Mary Ann. 1243 01:01:56,504 --> 01:01:58,465 You're harshing my vibe. 1244 01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,843 We're going to the island off of Ireland, 1245 01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,553 hiding Mick from the police. 1246 01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:05,263 Oh. 1247 01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:07,766 Oh, God. 1248 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,937 Oh, I've got an idea. 1249 01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,817 Still buzzing, you know. 1250 01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:24,866 All done. 1251 01:02:24,950 --> 01:02:27,452 Oh, thanks for helping out, Aussies. 1252 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:28,578 Ah, you're welcome, Nan. 1253 01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:31,206 We wanted to see the island off of Ireland, anyway. 1254 01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:33,833 - Aussies on tour. - Are we all ready? 1255 01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:36,419 Come on, we gotta be quick. 1256 01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:39,798 Come on then! Let's go the island 1257 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,591 That is off of Ireland 1258 01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:43,677 La-la-la-la Hey 1259 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,845 La-la-la-la Hey 1260 01:02:45,929 --> 01:02:47,889 Let's go to the island 1261 01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:49,683 That is off of Ireland 1262 01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,440 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 1263 01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,317 -My name is Arsemunch -ALL: Yeah! 1264 01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:01,069 -And I drink beer -ALL: Yeah! 1265 01:03:01,152 --> 01:03:02,696 -While playing rugby -ALL: Yeah! 1266 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:03,780 I hope we win 1267 01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,241 Ruined it. 1268 01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:08,576 Roll call 1269 01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:12,122 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 1270 01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:15,834 Shabooya-yah-yah Shabooya, roll call! 1271 01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:18,962 Oh, shit. 1272 01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:20,046 Get your head down, Mick. 1273 01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,798 - Nan. - There we go. 1274 01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:27,012 Jamie, you can do this. 1275 01:03:27,095 --> 01:03:28,513 You're an Australian rugby player 1276 01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,432 from Australia in Ireland. 1277 01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:32,434 Keep your voice down. 1278 01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:40,483 G'day, officer. 1279 01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:41,651 Morning, lads. 1280 01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,361 G'day, officer. 1281 01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:45,280 G'day, officer. 1282 01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,403 Where are you boys off to? 1283 01:03:46,781 --> 01:03:47,949 Big game. 1284 01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,409 - Yeah. - Who's in here? 1285 01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,535 The rugby team? 1286 01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:52,746 Oh, yeah, just us boys. 1287 01:03:53,580 --> 01:03:54,956 Oh, really? 1288 01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,375 Just us boys, is it? 1289 01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:04,549 Yeah! 1290 01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:07,344 Just us boys! 1291 01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:11,973 Here enjoying a couple of tinnies. 1292 01:04:12,057 --> 01:04:16,978 And saving babies from dingoes, Sarah. 1293 01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,190 - What's she saying? - "She"? 1294 01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:21,941 It's how we identify. 1295 01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,026 Oh, yeah. 1296 01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:24,309 I need a number plate checked. 1297 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,695 - We're fluid. - AR 02. 1298 01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:27,197 Non-binary. 1299 01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,032 Eco-friendly. 1300 01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:30,867 Queer. 1301 01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:35,789 There is a distinct smell of urine in this mini bus. 1302 01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:37,582 That was Nutsack. 1303 01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:39,000 Take that wig off. 1304 01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,169 It's stuck to my head. 1305 01:04:41,252 --> 01:04:44,672 Take that wig off! 1306 01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:49,677 I can't hear you! 1307 01:04:50,261 --> 01:04:51,262 We're fucked. 1308 01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:52,448 You're not. It's me they want. 1309 01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,723 I knew it was you. 1310 01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:57,018 Oh, well done, Scouse Sherlock. 1311 01:04:57,811 --> 01:04:59,396 That number plate matches the bee van. 1312 01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:00,480 That's him. He's in here! 1313 01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:01,856 Oh, God. We're trapped. 1314 01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:03,608 All units, suspect in the van, 1315 01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:04,818 in the blue-purple van. 1316 01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:06,528 They only want me. 1317 01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,571 Well, you might be Ireland's most wanted, 1318 01:05:08,655 --> 01:05:10,240 but I've got a bit of form me self. 1319 01:05:10,323 --> 01:05:13,451 No regrets. Promise me you'll see your sister. 1320 01:05:13,535 --> 01:05:14,994 What are you talking about? 1321 01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:18,099 Thought you threw that out of the window. 1322 01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:22,377 Tullamore child magician of the year, 1994. 1323 01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:25,296 I don't need 'em no more. 1324 01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:27,882 Go and see Nell. I mean it. 1325 01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,094 Open the boot, open the boot. 1326 01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,388 Close the boot, close the boot. 1327 01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,396 What a smashing fella. 1328 01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:45,108 Violent, angry, dangerous. 1329 01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:47,402 Everything you'd want in a vegan. 1330 01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,714 I could vomit, 1331 01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:10,008 I could vomit, I could vomit. 1332 01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:12,886 But in a good way, in a good way I could vomit. 1333 01:06:14,345 --> 01:06:15,472 Whoo! 1334 01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,683 Let's go to the island 1335 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,560 That is off of Ireland 1336 01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:22,353 La-la-la-la Hey 1337 01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:24,689 La-la-la-la Hey 1338 01:06:24,772 --> 01:06:26,357 Let's go to the island 1339 01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:28,318 That is off of Ireland 1340 01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,403 La-la-la-la Hey 1341 01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:31,905 La-la-la-la Hey 1342 01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,408 Nan, Nan, look. 1343 01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,036 Gotta make this ferry. 1344 01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,370 No ferry, no beer. 1345 01:06:39,454 --> 01:06:40,806 Before they do all the fuckin' booze. 1346 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:41,998 This is all your fault. 1347 01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,584 We're only here because of you. 1348 01:06:44,667 --> 01:06:47,879 I mean, I'm supposed to be in a day spa in Coventry 1349 01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:49,881 with my legs up, having hot wax 1350 01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:50,965 poured all over me noon. 1351 01:06:51,049 --> 01:06:53,885 Which, as Crystal Meth Cathy reliably informed me, 1352 01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:56,429 is the correct definition of an Hollywood. 1353 01:07:00,892 --> 01:07:02,644 I mean, that fella off the Bake Off, 1354 01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:05,230 he ain't gonna be there. Nothing to do with him. 1355 01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:07,357 He won't be anywhere in sight. 1356 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:08,775 Take all your hair off. 1357 01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,027 Mary Berry wouldn't stand for that. 1358 01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:14,614 - My name is Nutsack! - Not now! 1359 01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:15,698 She's gaining on us. 1360 01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:18,326 This woman stops me getting a drink... 1361 01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,411 Jamie, 1362 01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:22,288 pull yourself together. 1363 01:07:22,372 --> 01:07:24,874 For God's sake, calm down. 1364 01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:26,876 I can't go any faster. 1365 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,837 Hyperventilating clown. What's the matter with ya? 1366 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:32,090 The law, she's an officer of the law. 1367 01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:34,342 She's a fucking traffic warden. 1368 01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,094 Lose her, mate. She can't stop us. 1369 01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,178 No ferry, no beer. 1370 01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:38,342 Quick, the ferry's leaving. 1371 01:07:42,433 --> 01:07:43,935 It's okay, I'm sorry. 1372 01:07:44,018 --> 01:07:46,646 - We missed it, Nan. - We haven't! You can do it! 1373 01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:48,314 Or are you just chicken shit? 1374 01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,066 - What did you call me? - Chicken shit. 1375 01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:51,401 Nobody calls me chicken shit. 1376 01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,778 - Chicken shit! Did it again. - Chicken shit! 1377 01:07:53,861 --> 01:07:55,697 Froggo just called you chicken shit! 1378 01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,992 Chicken shit! Chicken shit! 1379 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:02,328 - Chicken shit! - I am not chicken shit! 1380 01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:13,172 The copper's missed! 1381 01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,758 I'll get you, old woman! 1382 01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:17,427 You nailed it, Jamie! 1383 01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,182 Well, I gotta hand it to you. 1384 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,143 You got me there in the end. 1385 01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,146 Yeah, I did. 1386 01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:30,940 So, go on, then. 1387 01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:34,319 You had a whirlwind wedding with Terry. 1388 01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:36,779 Yeah, I married Tel. 1389 01:08:37,155 --> 01:08:38,823 And Walter went off to war. 1390 01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:43,244 Then Terry spent every night interfering with me. 1391 01:08:43,369 --> 01:08:45,538 Sometimes twice if he had an early shift. 1392 01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,123 Nan, didn't need to know all that. 1393 01:08:47,206 --> 01:08:48,625 Well, you did ask. 1394 01:08:51,753 --> 01:08:53,755 And then, four months later, that was it. 1395 01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,299 War was over. 1396 01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:58,843 Ceasefire. 1397 01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:01,012 Peace. 1398 01:09:19,072 --> 01:09:20,948 And after all those years, 1399 01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,284 all that chaos and commotion, 1400 01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:24,869 suddenly... 1401 01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,538 ...it all stopped. 1402 01:09:28,581 --> 01:09:31,709 And Walter came back to make an honest woman of Nell. 1403 01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:34,837 Oh. Ah. 1404 01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:36,422 Oh, do you think I look nice? 1405 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,926 Here, you're lucky you're not showin'. 1406 01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:43,137 You are sweet, Joanie. 1407 01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,847 What are you talking about? 1408 01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:47,600 Come on, Joan. 1409 01:09:48,393 --> 01:09:49,894 I'm not really pregnant. 1410 01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:53,398 - I never was. - What? 1411 01:09:53,940 --> 01:09:56,067 I thought you'd have worked that out by now. 1412 01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:58,820 I'm not a tart. 1413 01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:06,327 I saw that note Walter wrote to you. 1414 01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:09,622 I thought, "I'm not having that. He's mine." 1415 01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,960 Oh, come on, Joanie. 1416 01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:16,212 What did Mum always say? 1417 01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:19,132 "All's fair in love and war." 1418 01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:23,720 What'd you do that for? What's wrong with you? 1419 01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:25,596 - Get off! - You say sorry. 1420 01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:34,439 You pathetic lump of lard. 1421 01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:35,815 It's my wedding day. 1422 01:10:36,774 --> 01:10:38,985 Well, then, go and get married. 1423 01:10:41,696 --> 01:10:43,740 You wouldn't have known what to do with him anyway. 1424 01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:49,454 You're a piece of work, Nell. 1425 01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:52,790 I gave him up for you! 1426 01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,798 Ah! 1427 01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,011 He wouldn't have wanted you. 1428 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,429 But he did, Nell. 1429 01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:09,140 And you took him just because you couldn't... 1430 01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,903 What the bleedin' hell is going on in here? 1431 01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:19,400 The day you were born, Daddy told me 1432 01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:22,403 to always look after you and I always have. 1433 01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:24,572 But that ends today. 1434 01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,701 You are dead to me. 1435 01:11:28,785 --> 01:11:31,162 Don't be so dramatic, Joanie. 1436 01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:33,164 Today's supposed to be a celebration. 1437 01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,957 It is, Nell. 1438 01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:37,710 Because if I've read this situation correctly, 1439 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:40,379 we don't ever have to see you again. 1440 01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,591 Well said, Tel. 1441 01:11:44,842 --> 01:11:46,469 Shall we? 1442 01:12:24,382 --> 01:12:26,175 Couldn't you have been with Walter then, 1443 01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:27,510 once you knew the truth? 1444 01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:30,179 No, I was a married woman. 1445 01:12:31,472 --> 01:12:33,266 That's not how things were done. 1446 01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:37,186 So, that's why you never speak to Auntie Nell? 1447 01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:38,980 She stole my life. 1448 01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,942 I got lumbered with Tel. 1449 01:12:43,025 --> 01:12:46,195 While she swanked off into the sunset drinking champagne 1450 01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:47,989 and snorting caviar, 1451 01:12:48,072 --> 01:12:50,700 or whatever it is heavy-chested girls get to do. 1452 01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:55,788 Yeah, but you had a nice life with Grandad Tel, didn't ya? 1453 01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:58,040 It was all right. 1454 01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,794 But it wasn't what I deserved. 1455 01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:05,339 I did everything right. 1456 01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:08,509 And look where it got me. 1457 01:13:10,511 --> 01:13:12,263 We are on the island 1458 01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:14,432 That is off of Ireland 1459 01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,142 La-la-la-la Hey 1460 01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:18,060 La-la-la-la Hey 1461 01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:20,229 We are on the island 1462 01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:22,231 That is off of Ireland 1463 01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,275 La-la-la-la Hey 1464 01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:25,735 La-la-la-la Hey 1465 01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:33,367 Here, I'll tell you what, 1466 01:13:33,451 --> 01:13:35,369 we'll always have that ferry jump. 1467 01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:39,624 Oh, er, quick question. 1468 01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:42,835 What is there to do on the island off of Ireland, Nan? 1469 01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:44,378 Oh, nothing, darling. 1470 01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:47,214 No, I mean, it's an absolute tip. 1471 01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:49,675 Still, there's another ferry tomorrow. 1472 01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:53,638 - Tally-ho, sweethearts. - Bye, Nan. 1473 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,057 We're really grateful, thanks very much. 1474 01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,517 Hey, well done, tough guy. 1475 01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:00,311 You really think I'm tough? 1476 01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:03,940 Well, no. Not now you said that. 1477 01:14:04,231 --> 01:14:07,193 Boom, explosion, shrapnel. 1478 01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,694 Legend. 1479 01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:11,530 Her name is Nan ALL: Yeah! 1480 01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,074 -And she is lairy -Yeah! 1481 01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:14,867 -She dropped a pill -Yeah! 1482 01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:16,285 -And jumped a ferry -Yeah! 1483 01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:17,745 Oh. 1484 01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:22,416 Oh. Oh. 1485 01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:25,086 Poor old Mick, Mick, Mick. 1486 01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:26,809 Do you think he'll be all right in prison? 1487 01:14:27,004 --> 01:14:28,130 Yeah. 1488 01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:30,299 Everyone loves magic. 1489 01:14:31,425 --> 01:14:32,426 It's all right. 1490 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,055 Yeah. 1491 01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:38,432 Shall we go home now? 1492 01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:40,601 You're so close, Nan. 1493 01:14:40,685 --> 01:14:41,894 No. 1494 01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:43,437 Let's go home. 1495 01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:44,522 Hmm. 1496 01:14:45,606 --> 01:14:46,774 Chicken shit. 1497 01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:51,404 Touché, son. 1498 01:14:51,862 --> 01:14:52,863 Touché. 1499 01:14:58,035 --> 01:15:00,788 I meant it, what I said, you know? 1500 01:15:00,871 --> 01:15:01,956 What's that, Nan? 1501 01:15:03,124 --> 01:15:04,333 I am proud of you. 1502 01:15:06,043 --> 01:15:07,378 You remembered saying that? 1503 01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:09,880 Of course I remember. 1504 01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:12,550 Also meant it 1505 01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:15,011 when I blew off in your face. 1506 01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:17,513 - Thanks, Nan. - Yeah. 1507 01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:58,054 I'll wait here for a bit, 1508 01:15:58,179 --> 01:15:59,930 let you say hello, 1509 01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,265 get reacquainted. 1510 01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:04,810 What are you gonna do? 1511 01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:07,188 I've got my crafts, haven't I? 1512 01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,273 You've come up and seen me. 1513 01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,984 I've come up and seen you. 1514 01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:37,319 You've come up and seen me, ain't ya? 1515 01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:39,238 I've come up and seen you. 1516 01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:41,824 Well, you are a good girl. 1517 01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,786 You look rough. 1518 01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:48,164 - Well, I'm dying. - Oh. 1519 01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,748 Read your letter. 1520 01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:52,334 No need to keep banging on about it. 1521 01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:10,811 You've landed on your feet, as usual. 1522 01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:12,855 In what way? 1523 01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:14,607 Living in paradise. 1524 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,568 - Look at this place. - We've made do. 1525 01:18:17,985 --> 01:18:19,153 Made do? 1526 01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:22,948 Where's Walter, then? 1527 01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,367 He's upstairs getting ready. 1528 01:18:25,451 --> 01:18:28,370 I think he's a bit nervous to see you after all this time. 1529 01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,080 So I'm here, then. 1530 01:18:30,998 --> 01:18:32,291 Got what you wanted? 1531 01:18:34,043 --> 01:18:35,711 You want to show me your perfect life 1532 01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,589 in your perfect house with your perfect man? 1533 01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:41,425 You want me to see all the things you stole from me, 1534 01:18:41,508 --> 01:18:43,719 SO you can have one last thrill before you go? 1535 01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,224 You always resented me, Nell. 1536 01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,060 And all I ever did was try and look after ya. 1537 01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,458 Hello, Joanie. 1538 01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,046 Joanie, it's me. 1539 01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:23,550 Say hello to Walter. 1540 01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:26,679 Hmm. 1541 01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:29,640 You... 1542 01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,810 It's wonderful to see you. I've missed you. 1543 01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:35,020 We both have. 1544 01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,731 Erm... 1545 01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:39,984 Who is it? 1546 01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:41,277 It's me, Joanie. 1547 01:19:43,112 --> 01:19:45,447 - Who is it? - Joanie, it's me. 1548 01:19:46,407 --> 01:19:49,118 What? So, erm... 1549 01:19:53,664 --> 01:19:54,957 You look well. 1550 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,209 Hmm. 1551 01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,450 How long has this been going on? 1552 01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,465 All our lives. 1553 01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:05,592 We came out here for some privacy. 1554 01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:09,930 I suppose it wasn't as accepted as it is now. 1555 01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:12,099 We had to keep ourselves to ourselves. 1556 01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,394 Er, so you 1557 01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,313 both wear dresses? 1558 01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,398 Yeah, sometimes we share them. 1559 01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:20,983 He has tremendous taste in fashion. 1560 01:20:21,525 --> 01:20:22,651 Oh, it's... 1561 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:24,361 "He." 1562 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,488 "He," is it? 1563 01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:27,573 Yep. 1564 01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,075 What's, er... 1565 01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:32,786 What's going on? Am I... Am I having a stroke? 1566 01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:43,422 It's a lot to process, but it's still me. 1567 01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:46,550 I've just always felt happier in women's clothing. 1568 01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,218 I'm still a man in every respect. 1569 01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:50,679 If you understand my meaning. 1570 01:20:50,763 --> 01:20:52,014 We have a voracious sex life. 1571 01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:54,183 All right, sailor, I don't need all the details. 1572 01:20:58,479 --> 01:20:59,813 Well, I've gotta admit, 1573 01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:02,775 I never saw that coming. 1574 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,276 Neither did I. 1575 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,070 Really? 1576 01:21:10,157 --> 01:21:11,397 Is that chiffon you're wearing? 1577 01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:23,879 Are those buttons mother of pearl? 1578 01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:28,008 Fair enough. 1579 01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:32,513 So when did you find out about all this? 1580 01:21:33,013 --> 01:21:34,598 On our wedding night. 1581 01:21:35,516 --> 01:21:37,643 His drawers were frillier than mine. 1582 01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,354 Hmm. 1583 01:22:08,632 --> 01:22:11,301 Look at the size of the shoes. 1584 01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,599 They're like boats! 1585 01:22:32,281 --> 01:22:33,824 Oh, I do feel better. 1586 01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:37,119 Oh, that has cheered me up. I mean, all these years 1587 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,330 I thought you'd been living the perfect life. 1588 01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:41,748 Little did I know most of it's 1589 01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,584 been spent arguing over 1590 01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:47,754 who looks best in a feathered muumuu. 1591 01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,631 A muumuu! 1592 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,972 Whoo! That can't have been easy. 1593 01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,267 Well, I'm glad you had a rough ride of it an' all. 1594 01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:03,020 Well, how did you have a rough ride? 1595 01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:06,398 You were with Terry. He was your soul mate, wasn't he? 1596 01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,984 We all thought you were meant to be. 1597 01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:12,905 Terry? Terry? 1598 01:24:51,712 --> 01:24:53,297 I never realised. 1599 01:24:56,383 --> 01:24:57,743 It's always the way, though, innit? 1600 01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:02,180 You don't appreciate what you've had till it's gone. 1601 01:25:04,349 --> 01:25:06,393 He was a wonderful man. 1602 01:25:08,395 --> 01:25:09,730 My Terry. 1603 01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,984 He loved me so much. 1604 01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:18,405 Obsessed with my arsehole. 1605 01:25:19,448 --> 01:25:22,242 But, other than that, a proper gent. 1606 01:25:23,076 --> 01:25:24,077 Ah. 1607 01:25:25,162 --> 01:25:27,164 Hello? 1608 01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:30,959 Oh, here's me grandson. 1609 01:25:31,043 --> 01:25:32,711 He's drove me all this way. 1610 01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:34,129 Oh, he's a good boy. 1611 01:25:34,212 --> 01:25:35,852 - Is it all right if I come in? - Come in. 1612 01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:37,132 Come and meet your auntie. 1613 01:25:37,215 --> 01:25:38,216 Oh. 1614 01:25:39,509 --> 01:25:42,387 Oh, I do love a corduroy collar. 1615 01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,015 Thanks. 1616 01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:54,983 Lovely to meet you. 1617 01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:07,412 Look how big your hat is there. 1618 01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:12,793 "Our Life Through A Series Of Gorgeous Outfits". All right. 1619 01:26:12,918 --> 01:26:16,088 Oh, very nice. Wear it well, don't ya? 1620 01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,589 - Oh... - Yeah, that's very, er... 1621 01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:19,800 - That was new year. - Yeah. Nice. 1622 01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:21,051 It's very, innit, eh? 1623 01:26:21,134 --> 01:26:22,719 Here's his power dressing. 1624 01:26:22,803 --> 01:26:24,388 - Mmm. - Innit, eh? 1625 01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:26,807 He's got a cape on that suit. 1626 01:26:26,890 --> 01:26:27,891 It's a scarf. 1627 01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,685 Oh, it's a scarf. Do excuse me. 1628 01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:31,478 It was a scarf. 1629 01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:33,397 Yeah, it's, it's a pashmina. 1630 01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:37,567 Oh, a pashmina, this one, see? Have you met? 1631 01:26:47,244 --> 01:26:48,245 I'll give you a minute. 1632 01:27:00,257 --> 01:27:02,259 I hated what Nell did to us. 1633 01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:05,512 Took me a long time to forgive her for keeping us apart. 1634 01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:06,596 Well... 1635 01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:08,348 She stole our lives. 1636 01:27:08,432 --> 01:27:10,308 - I mean... - But she... 1637 01:27:11,435 --> 01:27:12,686 She changed. 1638 01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:15,897 She regretted hurting you. 1639 01:27:15,981 --> 01:27:17,649 And I grew to love her. 1640 01:27:20,444 --> 01:27:23,363 So maybe I ended up with the right sister, after all. 1641 01:27:26,408 --> 01:27:27,409 Did I? 1642 01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:30,704 100%. 1643 01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,206 Hands up, I don't think 1644 01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:35,584 I could have got on board with any of this. 1645 01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:40,922 You really are marvellous. 1646 01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:10,744 I don't know what to say. 1647 01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:13,455 Then don't. 1648 01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,709 You conniving old 'ore. 1649 01:28:18,877 --> 01:28:20,629 You miserable old shit house. 1650 01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:26,384 Joanie, I just want you to know... 1651 01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:27,469 Yeah. 1652 01:28:29,471 --> 01:28:30,555 Me, too. 1653 01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:48,949 You okay, Nan? 1654 01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:51,701 I will be. 1655 01:28:54,663 --> 01:28:56,289 We're in trouble, aren't we? 1656 01:28:56,373 --> 01:28:58,792 Like, really serious criminal trouble? 1657 01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,962 Nah. 1658 01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:05,715 All's fair in love and war. 1659 01:29:08,802 --> 01:29:11,221 Come on, son, let's go home. 1660 01:29:30,115 --> 01:29:32,659 Thank you, Arsemunch! Good effort, son. 1661 01:29:32,742 --> 01:29:35,662 Love you, Nan! 1662 01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:37,539 Well, that turned out to be 1663 01:29:37,622 --> 01:29:40,125 a very multi-layered road trip. 1664 01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,918 You'll have a field day with your cartoons. 1665 01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:54,055 Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick! 1666 01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:55,140 Ta-da! 1667 01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,267 Whoo! 1668 01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:58,435 It's not over! 1669 01:29:59,603 --> 01:30:00,604 See ya! 1670 01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:22,584 Oh, sweetheart. 1671 01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,544 - You're back! - Hi! 1672 01:30:24,628 --> 01:30:26,463 Oh, do join us. 1673 01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:35,472 What a fucking liberty! 1674 01:30:58,745 --> 01:31:01,915 All together now! 117015