Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,327 --> 00:00:16,627
Doogie!
2
00:00:16,628 --> 00:00:18,928
Douglas, I can't understand
why you're so angry.
3
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,664
We caught the fish.
4
00:00:20,666 --> 00:00:22,065
Ha ha.
5
00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:23,833
A good-sized critter,
6
00:00:23,835 --> 00:00:24,968
I might add.
7
00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:27,070
You just don't get it, dad.
8
00:00:27,072 --> 00:00:31,174
I don't care.
I never wanted to come here.
9
00:00:31,176 --> 00:00:33,426
What?
10
00:00:33,427 --> 00:00:35,677
I could be in palm springs
with Wanda right now.
11
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,047
Instead, I'm stuck out here...
12
00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:39,381
Needs more butter.
13
00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:41,216
...Talking to the fish!
14
00:00:41,218 --> 00:00:43,252
Butter.
15
00:00:43,254 --> 00:00:45,154
More.
16
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,646
Murray, get the door!
17
00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:15,348
I've grown out of these trips.
18
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,350
Butter.
19
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,753
I don't want to be the
great white hunter.
20
00:01:21,856 --> 00:01:25,624
Sorry to disturb you at this
hour, Mr. Seidenbaum,
21
00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:28,494
But you have been
personally selected
22
00:01:28,496 --> 00:01:29,995
To receive a most...
23
00:01:29,997 --> 00:01:31,097
Irresistible offer.
24
00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:32,331
Giving me instructions
25
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,567
Like I was still a little boy.
26
00:01:34,569 --> 00:01:37,001
I didn't realize
you felt like this.
27
00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:41,606
I'm surprised you didn't
say anything before this.
28
00:01:42,142 --> 00:01:46,211
Murray, what are you
doing back there?
29
00:01:46,213 --> 00:01:47,545
Murray!
30
00:01:48,715 --> 00:01:52,850
Aah!
31
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:00,769
My name is Darryl Knable.
32
00:04:00,771 --> 00:04:04,405
I'm a normal kid
who led a pretty normal life...
33
00:04:04,407 --> 00:04:05,707
Until that night.
34
00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:07,842
It looks and feels natural,
35
00:04:07,844 --> 00:04:09,310
Whether you're skimming the surf
36
00:04:09,312 --> 00:04:12,280
Or racing the wind
on a cruiser for two.
37
00:04:12,282 --> 00:04:14,349
And remember,
we stand behind it.
38
00:04:14,351 --> 00:04:17,417
I'm not only the
hair club president,
39
00:04:17,419 --> 00:04:19,870
But also a client.
40
00:04:19,871 --> 00:04:22,322
In describing my dad,
several names come to mind...
41
00:04:22,324 --> 00:04:23,824
Bill Cosby, Alan Thicke,
42
00:04:23,826 --> 00:04:25,158
The Brady bunch father.
43
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,793
My dad watched all of them.
44
00:04:26,795 --> 00:04:30,631
In fact, he watched
anything on TV all the time.
45
00:04:30,633 --> 00:04:32,565
They say the average American
46
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:34,634
Watches 7 1/2 hours of TV a day.
47
00:04:34,636 --> 00:04:38,771
If that's true,
there are two guys who never watch,
48
00:04:38,773 --> 00:04:42,074
And my dad took their times.
49
00:04:42,076 --> 00:04:43,976
Perhaps I shall one day.
50
00:04:43,978 --> 00:04:47,012
You have some dispatches for
me, captain?
51
00:04:47,014 --> 00:04:49,681
I have some dispatches
for the queen.
52
00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:52,817
Prepare to taste Corsican steel.
53
00:04:55,956 --> 00:04:57,622
Uhh!
54
00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:00,525
Hi.
55
00:05:00,527 --> 00:05:01,425
Hi.
56
00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,694
It's late.
57
00:05:03,695 --> 00:05:05,962
Yeah, I know.
I'll be up in a minute, honey.
58
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,233
I'm thinking of renting out
59
00:05:09,235 --> 00:05:11,201
Your side of the bed.
60
00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:12,703
Huh?
61
00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:22,145
Don't get me wrong.
62
00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:24,113
I like TV just as much
as the next person.
63
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:28,384
It's just there are more
things you can do with it
64
00:05:28,386 --> 00:05:31,053
Than only watch it.
65
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:33,722
For instance, you can
also make money with it.
66
00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:44,099
We interrupt this broadcast
for a special report.
67
00:05:44,101 --> 00:05:47,134
Young electronics
genius Darryl Knable
68
00:05:47,136 --> 00:05:49,570
Has just won the Nobel prize.
69
00:05:49,572 --> 00:05:51,138
Oh, you dipstick.
70
00:05:51,140 --> 00:05:53,641
For secretly videotaping
his sister Diane
71
00:05:53,643 --> 00:05:56,077
French-kissing with
her boyfriend Chris.
72
00:05:56,079 --> 00:05:57,378
We're talking tongues here!
73
00:05:57,380 --> 00:06:00,780
For copies of this tape,
send $3.00 to...
74
00:06:00,782 --> 00:06:05,518
Darryl Knable,
1532 Blue Jay Court...
75
00:06:10,692 --> 00:06:14,393
Hey, Knable, your kid's messing
up my TV reception again.
76
00:06:14,395 --> 00:06:17,396
And your dog's
messing up my dichondra.
77
00:06:17,398 --> 00:06:20,099
Rivets didn't do that.
78
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:22,801
Then there's a brontosaurus
loose in the neighborhood.
79
00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:27,806
Bad dog. Bad, bad doggie.
80
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:30,341
I'm going to call the FCC!
81
00:06:30,343 --> 00:06:31,343
The FCC!
82
00:06:33,295 --> 00:06:35,245
My mom was a big-deal
advertising executive
83
00:06:35,248 --> 00:06:37,916
With a vitamin company.
84
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:40,585
My dad had this real suck job
selling plumbing supplies.
85
00:06:40,587 --> 00:06:42,520
I heard them arguing one night,
86
00:06:42,522 --> 00:06:45,021
And she said
he was suffering from
87
00:06:45,023 --> 00:06:47,858
Something called
a mid-life crisis,
88
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,359
Whatever that is.
89
00:06:49,361 --> 00:06:50,727
He said he wasn't.
90
00:06:50,729 --> 00:06:54,231
She said he was jealous
of her success.
91
00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:55,732
He said he wasn't.
92
00:06:55,734 --> 00:06:58,368
They argued a lot.
93
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:11,981
Aah!
94
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,529
So that's my dad,
95
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,797
Going to his pretty normal home
96
00:07:29,799 --> 00:07:32,666
After his pretty normal day
at his suck job,
97
00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:34,401
Ready to watch his TV.
98
00:07:34,403 --> 00:07:38,205
That brings us to that night
I was talking about.
99
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,574
That's when everything changed.
100
00:07:44,579 --> 00:07:45,678
I love you.
101
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,247
I don't care who loves who...
102
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:50,683
I won't play the sap for you.
103
00:07:50,685 --> 00:07:54,687
You killed miles, and
you're going over for it.
104
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:59,991
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you two going?
105
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:02,294
Mom, remember?
106
00:08:02,295 --> 00:08:04,596
Oh, right. You're spending
the night with friends.
107
00:08:04,598 --> 00:08:05,597
Diane...
108
00:08:05,599 --> 00:08:06,932
No boys.
109
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,266
Mother, I am not a child.
110
00:08:08,268 --> 00:08:12,136
Mm-hmm. You go directly to
Tracy's, you understand?
111
00:08:12,138 --> 00:08:13,671
Right.
112
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:19,109
Mom, you know my friend
billy Stephan?
113
00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,361
Mm-hmm.
114
00:08:20,362 --> 00:08:21,612
Well, his dad
moved out for a while.
115
00:08:21,614 --> 00:08:25,983
Then his parents went away and
sat in a hot tub all weekend.
116
00:08:25,985 --> 00:08:29,285
When they got back,
billy's dad moved back in
117
00:08:29,287 --> 00:08:30,753
And things were all better.
118
00:08:30,755 --> 00:08:34,891
Did you plan this so your
dad and I could be alone?
119
00:08:34,893 --> 00:08:39,262
We don't know how much
that hip bruise he got...
120
00:08:39,264 --> 00:08:40,330
Roy?
121
00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:41,497
Hi, Helen.
122
00:08:41,499 --> 00:08:42,464
I have an idea.
123
00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:46,034
You know how proud I
am of you... pass it!
124
00:08:46,036 --> 00:08:48,470
Let's go away.
125
00:08:48,471 --> 00:08:50,905
Go ahead. I'll be there in
4 minutes and 16 seconds.
126
00:08:50,908 --> 00:08:52,140
Roy. Roy, listen.
127
00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:54,910
Let's go away like we used to,
128
00:08:54,912 --> 00:08:56,644
To the mountains.
129
00:08:56,646 --> 00:08:57,378
Ok.
130
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,713
Just the two of us.
131
00:08:58,715 --> 00:09:01,249
No phones, no kids, no TV.
132
00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:02,783
No TV?
133
00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:04,986
They don't have TV there.
134
00:09:04,988 --> 00:09:06,921
Is there a plug?
135
00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:08,489
This is abnormal.
136
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:11,157
Honey, you're just
shutting yourself off
137
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:14,561
From everything and everybody.
138
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,030
Are you having problems?
139
00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:19,432
Is... is it me?
140
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,334
Yes! No.
141
00:09:21,335 --> 00:09:22,801
Is... is it work?
Are you having trouble at work?
142
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:26,972
Of course not.
What makes you say something like that?
143
00:09:26,974 --> 00:09:28,440
Shoot, you idiot.
Shoot.
144
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:31,577
The one thing we always
promised each other
145
00:09:31,579 --> 00:09:34,079
Is that we would remain honest.
146
00:09:34,081 --> 00:09:36,615
We are honest with each other.
147
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,117
Look...
148
00:09:38,118 --> 00:09:39,618
You say that I'm shut off,
149
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,387
That... that I can't
open up to you,
150
00:09:42,389 --> 00:09:43,421
That I'm closed down.
151
00:09:43,423 --> 00:09:46,090
OK, well,
I'm going to tell you something
152
00:09:46,092 --> 00:09:48,459
That's... that's
very important to me.
153
00:09:48,461 --> 00:09:50,328
I'm going to be
completely honest.
154
00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:54,032
I just don't want you to
take this the wrong way.
155
00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:58,201
Oh, Roy, talk to me.
I can take anything.
156
00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:01,705
We're in double overtime here.
157
00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:04,708
Fine!
158
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:07,110
Watch TV.
159
00:10:07,112 --> 00:10:07,978
Thanks, sweetheart.
160
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:10,212
Could you move just to...
161
00:10:10,214 --> 00:10:11,314
This is unbelievable!
162
00:10:11,316 --> 00:10:13,983
You couldn't listen to me
for two minutes
163
00:10:13,985 --> 00:10:16,419
Without that stupid
television being on!
164
00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:19,221
When I married you,
you were a doer.
165
00:10:19,223 --> 00:10:21,357
Now all you are is a watcher!
166
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:24,626
He gave it away to Drexler.
167
00:10:24,628 --> 00:10:27,596
Drexler fouled at mid-court.
168
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:31,132
Oh, Roy?
169
00:10:31,134 --> 00:10:32,634
Huh?
170
00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,870
Hyah... aah!
171
00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:39,173
The TV!
172
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:41,041
I was afraid
173
00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:43,611
You were keeping Tina
out of pity,
174
00:10:43,613 --> 00:10:45,646
But that wasn't pity just now.
175
00:10:45,648 --> 00:10:48,015
Now I know you still love me.
176
00:10:48,017 --> 00:10:50,384
It won't die, what's between us.
177
00:10:50,386 --> 00:10:52,019
Do what you will...
178
00:10:52,021 --> 00:10:52,953
Never happen.
179
00:10:52,955 --> 00:10:54,654
Ignore it, neglect it...
180
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,355
No further developments
in the disappearance
181
00:10:56,358 --> 00:10:58,658
Of Murray and Sarah
Seidenbaum of Oakview.
182
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:03,796
Police are still baffled and
report they have no clues.
183
00:11:14,642 --> 00:11:16,174
Ahhhh...
184
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:16,875
Roy...
185
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,977
Your boring little life
186
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,946
Is about to become
187
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,814
Much more exciting.
188
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,156
Mr. Knable?
189
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:35,292
Sorry to disturb you
at this hour,
190
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,261
But you've been
personally selected
191
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:40,597
To receive a most
irresistible offer.
192
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,366
I'm busy.
193
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,134
Wait, Mr. Knable.
I have something you want...
194
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:45,201
Escape...
195
00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:47,270
From all your failures and woes,
196
00:11:47,272 --> 00:11:49,806
At the touch of your thumb...
197
00:11:49,808 --> 00:11:51,775
On this.
198
00:11:53,577 --> 00:11:55,077
Go ahead.
199
00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:01,684
Your new controller.
200
00:12:02,753 --> 00:12:08,189
Your passport to the ultimate
television adventure.
201
00:12:08,558 --> 00:12:09,590
Cute place.
202
00:12:09,592 --> 00:12:10,692
You fence!
203
00:12:10,694 --> 00:12:13,261
Oh, I used to.
204
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:15,697
Did you ever, uh, kill anyone?
205
00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:18,166
Of course not.
Look, Mr., uh...
206
00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:19,000
Spike.
207
00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:21,235
At your service.
208
00:12:22,771 --> 00:12:25,572
What exactly is it
that you're selling?
209
00:12:25,574 --> 00:12:28,341
Mmm! Attractive.
The little woman.
210
00:12:28,343 --> 00:12:30,210
You two having difficulties?
211
00:12:30,212 --> 00:12:32,279
Well, I don't see how...
212
00:12:32,281 --> 00:12:33,814
I know all about you, Roy.
213
00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:37,216
Success, it's like a fly
buzzing around your head.
214
00:12:37,218 --> 00:12:39,719
You reach for it, you grab it,
215
00:12:39,721 --> 00:12:42,188
And all you get is...
Nothing!
216
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:44,056
You're tired of nothing, Roy,
217
00:12:44,058 --> 00:12:46,726
So you want to hide
from everything,
218
00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:48,494
But she gives you heat, right?
219
00:12:48,496 --> 00:12:51,529
Roy, wait till she
gets a load of this...
220
00:12:51,531 --> 00:12:55,467
600 and 66 channels
of heart-pounding,
221
00:12:55,469 --> 00:12:56,935
Skull-blasting entertainment.
222
00:12:56,937 --> 00:12:58,803
Comedy! Drama!
Hot-oil aerobics
223
00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:01,206
Like nothing you've ever
seen, brother.
224
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,808
Unlimited entertainment,
snatched from the ether
225
00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:06,477
And slammed into your
brand-new 44-inch,
226
00:13:06,479 --> 00:13:10,447
900-line resolution,
3-way expanded-matrix,
227
00:13:10,449 --> 00:13:13,417
Dolby stereo TV,
right here, Roy.
228
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:14,952
A new TV?
229
00:13:14,953 --> 00:13:16,486
Straight from
the temple of high-tech.
230
00:13:16,489 --> 00:13:19,389
Make this thing
look like a Philco.
231
00:13:19,391 --> 00:13:20,590
Some people would give
232
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,126
Their souls
for a system like this.
233
00:13:23,128 --> 00:13:26,696
Just sign here.
We're in business.
234
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:30,867
I... I can't.
235
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,971
All right.
236
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:38,206
Good night, Mr. Knable.
237
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:42,077
Did I mention, uh...
238
00:13:42,079 --> 00:13:43,779
Free trial?
239
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,580
Free?
240
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:54,455
Well, Roy, all set for the
TV adventure of a lifetime?
241
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:55,890
Now remember...
242
00:13:55,891 --> 00:13:57,324
You'll have to adjust the dish
243
00:13:57,326 --> 00:13:59,059
To fine-tune reception.
244
00:13:59,061 --> 00:14:00,728
Like this.
245
00:14:17,245 --> 00:14:19,945
Enjoy your new system, Roy.
246
00:14:19,947 --> 00:14:22,080
We'll be in touch.
247
00:14:22,082 --> 00:14:23,615
Ha ha ha!
248
00:14:23,617 --> 00:14:25,784
That was a dead end!
249
00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:29,354
Ha ha ha ha!
250
00:14:38,865 --> 00:14:40,064
Hi.
251
00:14:40,066 --> 00:14:42,767
Ho ho ho ho ho!
252
00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:45,002
Ha ha ha ha ha!
253
00:14:45,004 --> 00:14:48,239
Ha ha ha ha ha!
254
00:14:52,377 --> 00:14:54,578
Aah!
255
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,847
Now, honey, just
keep an open mind.
256
00:14:56,849 --> 00:15:00,150
There's no obligation.
I got it on a free trial.
257
00:15:00,152 --> 00:15:03,519
It's a whole satellite
system, over 600 channels.
258
00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:05,788
♪ I hate to leave you ♪
259
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:08,357
♪ but I really must say ♪
260
00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:11,861
♪ oh, good night, sweetheart ♪
261
00:15:11,863 --> 00:15:14,163
Wednesdays at 9:00...
262
00:15:14,432 --> 00:15:17,199
The salesman said we'd
get a lot of shows
263
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:19,801
You can't get on regular TV.
264
00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:21,569
Helen?
265
00:15:22,939 --> 00:15:24,105
Helen?
266
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:26,808
I don't want this anymore!
267
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:29,410
We thought it would be funny,
268
00:15:29,412 --> 00:15:32,213
If our bob, dressed
as a policeman,
269
00:15:32,215 --> 00:15:34,414
Would tell a perfect stranger
270
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:35,883
Her husband is dead.
271
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:37,618
Mrs. Cecily Barth?
272
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,370
Yes.
273
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,121
Your husband's name
was Steven Barth?
274
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:42,089
Was?
275
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,624
What do you mean, was?
276
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:46,960
Did your husband drive
a 1978 Chevrolet impala?
277
00:15:46,962 --> 00:15:47,994
What are you saying?
278
00:15:47,996 --> 00:15:50,062
Has something happened
to my Steven?
279
00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:53,399
Watch her
reaction to the bad news.
280
00:15:53,401 --> 00:15:55,001
I'm afraid so.
281
00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:56,003
Ah! Aah!
282
00:15:57,038 --> 00:15:59,172
It's all right.
283
00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:01,307
I think
it's time for Mrs. Barth
284
00:16:01,309 --> 00:16:03,441
To be let in on the fun.
285
00:16:03,443 --> 00:16:06,278
Mrs. Barth, look
across the street
286
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,280
At that van behind me.
287
00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:11,449
Look really carefully.
288
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:13,919
Is that, uh...
289
00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:15,453
It's a camera, yes.
290
00:16:15,455 --> 00:16:17,888
Then... You mean...
291
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:19,456
Yes, Mrs. Barth.
292
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,824
You're on...
293
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:23,360
Sadistic hidden videos?
294
00:16:23,362 --> 00:16:25,462
And you're... Bob.
295
00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:27,064
Ha ha ha ha!
296
00:16:27,066 --> 00:16:28,432
I'm on TV?
297
00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:30,167
Uhh! Oh, you guys!
298
00:16:30,169 --> 00:16:32,035
Oh!
299
00:16:37,876 --> 00:16:40,610
The dish needs adjusting.
300
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:48,183
Ohh!
301
00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:51,687
That'll improve the reception!
302
00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:53,889
Yeah?
303
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:56,325
Oh, yeah, Roy?
304
00:16:56,327 --> 00:16:58,894
Well, how's this?
305
00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:01,195
You receiving this?
306
00:17:01,197 --> 00:17:02,697
Are you getting this?
307
00:17:02,699 --> 00:17:04,131
Will you stop it?
308
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,233
I am leaving you, Roy.
309
00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:14,909
I want a man who'll touch me
rather than his remote control.
310
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:17,877
Please hang on a second.
311
00:17:17,879 --> 00:17:19,212
We have to talk!
312
00:17:19,214 --> 00:17:21,982
It's too late to talk!
313
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,725
Whoa!
314
00:17:46,673 --> 00:17:48,606
Fasten your seat belts, folks.
315
00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:51,809
It's going to be a bumpy ride!
316
00:17:51,811 --> 00:17:53,311
Ha ha ha ha!
317
00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:55,580
Ha ha ha ha.
318
00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:59,517
And welcome back to...
319
00:17:59,519 --> 00:18:02,786
You can't win!
You can't win!
320
00:18:02,788 --> 00:18:05,622
Now let's welcome
our new contestants
321
00:18:05,624 --> 00:18:09,026
Roy and Helen knable!
322
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:16,432
Do you know
the rules of our game?
323
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:17,833
What game?
324
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:21,237
The game with these
great prizes.
325
00:18:21,239 --> 00:18:22,405
Jay?
326
00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:23,572
Feast your eyes on this...
327
00:18:23,574 --> 00:18:25,708
The all-new Nappa-crapper 9000.
328
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:29,277
You'll never have to
get off your fat butt again.
329
00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:30,812
It has every amenity...
330
00:18:30,814 --> 00:18:32,280
A built-in color TV.
331
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:35,817
It adjusts to you
so you don't have to move.
332
00:18:35,819 --> 00:18:38,686
No more trips to the kitchen
during commercials.
333
00:18:38,688 --> 00:18:41,823
Better yet, no more annoying
trips to the bathroom.
334
00:18:41,825 --> 00:18:45,259
Your television viewing
never has to be interrupted,
335
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,027
And of course, win or lose,
336
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:51,131
Every contestant takes home
a set of encyclopedia satanica!
337
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:54,401
And now it's time to play...
338
00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:55,803
You can't win.
339
00:18:55,805 --> 00:18:57,037
Back to you, guy.
340
00:18:57,039 --> 00:18:59,505
Roy, the first question's
for you.
341
00:18:59,507 --> 00:19:01,507
On your last
wedding anniversary,
342
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:04,877
You missed the romantic
dinner your wife had planned.
343
00:19:04,879 --> 00:19:07,413
The reason, a... car trouble.
344
00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:10,349
B... you were running a marathon.
345
00:19:10,351 --> 00:19:12,452
C... you were in a bar
346
00:19:12,454 --> 00:19:15,987
Swilling a beer,
watching... World series.
347
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,356
Car trouble, just like I said!
348
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,659
No! Can you take it?
349
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:22,794
You were watching baseball?
350
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:24,930
That's right!
351
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:30,334
Trust me, babe.
You walked into the right place.
352
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,920
Very cushy down here.
353
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,505
You can cool your heels in
here for the rest of eternity
354
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,441
If you kiss the right ass.
355
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,010
These lips ain't
calloused for nothing!
356
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,145
Ha ha ha ha!
357
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,046
Are you some kind of comedian?
358
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:46,116
I once opened
for Liberace in Vegas.
359
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:46,783
Great.
360
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,051
This is the jumbotron.
361
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,687
It's got all the bells
and whistles.
362
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,255
It's our official scoreboard.
363
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,457
Keeps track of the SBI's.
364
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,559
Souls batted in.
365
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:57,826
Ha ha ha.
366
00:19:57,828 --> 00:20:00,596
Kind of a sports thing.
367
00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:05,701
Time for the Seidenbaums, sir.
368
00:20:11,908 --> 00:20:14,342
Punch 'em up.
369
00:20:14,544 --> 00:20:18,012
Mmm...
The Seidenbaums.
370
00:20:18,014 --> 00:20:20,047
Yearning for exotic locales.
371
00:20:20,049 --> 00:20:23,684
This episode
takes them to Tokyo.
372
00:20:23,686 --> 00:20:25,553
They're having a wonderful time
373
00:20:25,555 --> 00:20:27,320
Starring in their own movie.
374
00:20:27,322 --> 00:20:31,057
It's the Seidenbaums versus...
375
00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:34,628
The gigantic
stinking-footed lizard!
376
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:36,029
Aah!
377
00:20:36,031 --> 00:20:36,663
Ooh!
378
00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:39,599
Sayonara, Mrs. Seidenbaum.
379
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,339
That's entertainment.
380
00:20:47,341 --> 00:20:48,774
Oh, he's good.
381
00:20:48,776 --> 00:20:50,276
He's so good.
382
00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:51,610
Ha ha ha!
383
00:20:51,612 --> 00:20:53,045
Shocking.
384
00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:56,047
Sir, this is pierce,
our new, uh, intern.
385
00:20:56,049 --> 00:20:58,483
If you can't stomach
the sight of blood...
386
00:20:58,485 --> 00:21:01,219
It's not the blood
I find distressing.
387
00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,354
It's your lack of subtext.
388
00:21:03,356 --> 00:21:06,024
Film school graduate.
389
00:21:06,026 --> 00:21:07,125
Yes, sir.
390
00:21:07,127 --> 00:21:08,610
USC.
391
00:21:08,611 --> 00:21:10,094
I did my thesis on
Kurosawa and spike lee.
392
00:21:10,096 --> 00:21:13,897
Mr. Pierce, let me educate
you about our organization.
393
00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:14,932
Here at Hellvision,
394
00:21:14,934 --> 00:21:18,068
We've turned the process
of soul acquisition
395
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,603
Into an entertainment
extravaganza,
396
00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:24,942
And all for the benefit of one
very demanding viewer below.
397
00:21:24,944 --> 00:21:26,209
The boss himself,
398
00:21:26,211 --> 00:21:27,977
And I don't mean Springsteen.
399
00:21:27,979 --> 00:21:30,246
He has an enormous
appetite for misfortune.
400
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:33,816
It is our job to supply him
with an eclectic offering
401
00:21:33,818 --> 00:21:36,819
Of light amusements,
not subtext!
402
00:21:37,355 --> 00:21:38,521
Don't go away, Knables!
403
00:21:38,523 --> 00:21:41,957
It's time for...
The final question.
404
00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:44,659
What's that mean?
405
00:21:44,661 --> 00:21:46,995
The pit!
The pit!
406
00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:51,666
Yes, the pit!
407
00:21:51,668 --> 00:21:54,735
And what's down there
today, jay?
408
00:21:54,737 --> 00:21:59,506
Lots of slimy, crawly
bad things, guy.
409
00:21:59,508 --> 00:22:00,274
Eeeuw!
410
00:22:00,276 --> 00:22:01,942
Now you have 10 seconds
411
00:22:01,944 --> 00:22:05,846
To answer the question
correctly, or be...
412
00:22:05,848 --> 00:22:07,414
Eliminated.
413
00:22:07,416 --> 00:22:09,116
Aah!
414
00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:12,018
So the object's
to get to the end...
415
00:22:12,020 --> 00:22:14,954
The object's to kill them
before the end.
416
00:22:14,956 --> 00:22:17,123
Take the Knables, for instance.
417
00:22:17,125 --> 00:22:18,258
They just checked in.
418
00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:21,027
If they survive 24
hours, they go back.
419
00:22:21,029 --> 00:22:23,696
Part of our treaty
with the other side.
420
00:22:23,698 --> 00:22:25,831
Kind of a Geneva convention
421
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:28,033
In the war for souls.
422
00:22:28,035 --> 00:22:29,034
Ha ha ha ha!
423
00:22:29,036 --> 00:22:32,304
Name the person who's
recently been seeing
424
00:22:32,306 --> 00:22:33,739
A former lover.
425
00:22:33,741 --> 00:22:35,474
Is it, a... Roy?
426
00:22:35,476 --> 00:22:36,375
No.
427
00:22:36,377 --> 00:22:37,609
B... Helen?
428
00:22:37,611 --> 00:22:41,212
Or c... Roy and Helen?
429
00:22:41,214 --> 00:22:43,448
I know, I know.
430
00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:45,683
The former lovers we've
been seeing are each other!
431
00:22:45,685 --> 00:22:49,587
You're...
432
00:22:49,589 --> 00:22:51,155
Right!
433
00:22:51,157 --> 00:22:53,757
Aah!
434
00:22:54,259 --> 00:22:58,261
We'll be back with the
Knables' vacation round
435
00:22:58,263 --> 00:23:00,330
Right after this!
436
00:23:04,469 --> 00:23:06,636
How long do they usually last?
437
00:23:06,638 --> 00:23:09,204
Whether they go quickly or not,
438
00:23:09,206 --> 00:23:11,607
In the end, they always join us.
439
00:23:11,609 --> 00:23:14,343
You're forgetting that
wiry little Peruvian chap.
440
00:23:14,345 --> 00:23:16,979
A mistake, Mr. Crowley,
that won't be repeated.
441
00:23:16,981 --> 00:23:20,149
Hey, it wasn't me
that loused up. Jeez.
442
00:23:20,151 --> 00:23:23,418
Are you implying
that if was my fault?
443
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,019
I'm kidding!
444
00:23:25,021 --> 00:23:26,788
You know me.
445
00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:29,791
Always joking.
446
00:23:29,792 --> 00:23:32,793
I think, Mr. Crowley,
it's time for a little... Field work.
447
00:23:32,796 --> 00:23:34,195
Uh...
448
00:23:34,197 --> 00:23:36,297
Spike.
449
00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:38,732
Sir.
450
00:23:38,734 --> 00:23:40,434
Uh...
451
00:23:40,435 --> 00:23:42,135
Why don't I take you to lunch?
452
00:23:42,137 --> 00:23:45,205
We can sit down.
We can...
453
00:23:45,207 --> 00:23:47,274
Oh, boy.
454
00:23:47,276 --> 00:23:50,077
Hey, spike, come on.
455
00:23:50,079 --> 00:23:51,578
You know me.
456
00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:52,678
Heh heh heh.
457
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,880
Chronic foot-in-the-mouth
disease.
458
00:23:54,882 --> 00:23:57,650
I don't want to do field work.
459
00:23:57,652 --> 00:23:59,185
I'm executive material.
460
00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:01,153
I belong here with you.
461
00:24:01,155 --> 00:24:03,923
Aaahhh!
462
00:24:05,426 --> 00:24:09,728
Screw up in here,
and you're dead meat...
463
00:24:09,730 --> 00:24:11,529
Dead meat.
464
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,266
Mr. And Mrs. Knable,
465
00:24:15,268 --> 00:24:16,868
It's time to find out
466
00:24:16,870 --> 00:24:21,506
Where you go on
your fantasy vacation.
467
00:24:29,315 --> 00:24:32,916
Door number 1 it is!
468
00:24:33,753 --> 00:24:34,985
What is going on?
469
00:24:34,987 --> 00:24:38,654
You're going on
the trip of a lifetime!
470
00:24:38,656 --> 00:24:41,324
Aah!
471
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:50,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
472
00:24:50,902 --> 00:24:53,402
The main event...
473
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:55,003
Mixed pairs wrestling.
474
00:24:55,005 --> 00:24:56,605
No holds barred.
475
00:24:56,607 --> 00:24:59,508
No transfusions allowed.
476
00:24:59,510 --> 00:25:02,043
A battle to the death!
477
00:25:02,045 --> 00:25:04,880
This has got to be a dream.
478
00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:07,982
It's a bad dream.
479
00:25:07,983 --> 00:25:11,084
In this corner, Roy
"the couch potato" knable
480
00:25:11,087 --> 00:25:14,221
And his wife Helen the harridan!
481
00:25:14,223 --> 00:25:15,623
I gotta wake up.
482
00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:17,425
And the challengers...
483
00:25:17,427 --> 00:25:19,193
The vilest and evilest duo
484
00:25:19,195 --> 00:25:22,495
Ever to disgrace
a wrestling ring...
485
00:25:22,497 --> 00:25:27,333
That ogre and ogress...
The gorgons!
486
00:25:27,335 --> 00:25:29,269
Rraahhhrr!
487
00:25:29,271 --> 00:25:32,939
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
488
00:25:32,941 --> 00:25:33,840
Rraahhr!
489
00:25:33,842 --> 00:25:35,674
Calm down. Stay calm.
490
00:25:35,676 --> 00:25:37,009
Couch potato, come on.
491
00:25:37,011 --> 00:25:38,944
I... I think he means us.
492
00:25:38,946 --> 00:25:42,548
Excuse me.
We're not suppose to be here.
493
00:25:42,550 --> 00:25:43,849
Rrraahhhr!
494
00:25:43,851 --> 00:25:45,017
OK. Everything goes...
495
00:25:45,019 --> 00:25:47,853
Maim, murder each other,
I don't care,
496
00:25:47,855 --> 00:25:48,954
But keep it clean.
497
00:25:48,956 --> 00:25:51,656
When the bell rings,
kill or be killed.
498
00:25:51,658 --> 00:25:53,558
Do we look like wrestlers?
499
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,693
We have no idea why we're here.
500
00:25:55,695 --> 00:25:59,330
I'm a senior product manager
for a vitamin company.
501
00:25:59,332 --> 00:26:00,932
Senior product manager?
502
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:02,333
I got a promotion.
503
00:26:02,335 --> 00:26:04,435
Why didn't you tell me?
504
00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:06,169
Roy, you know why.
505
00:26:06,171 --> 00:26:07,387
Why?
506
00:26:07,388 --> 00:26:08,604
Because my success
threatens you.
507
00:26:08,607 --> 00:26:11,441
Your success
does not threaten me.
508
00:26:11,443 --> 00:26:12,909
It does, too!
509
00:26:14,012 --> 00:26:15,695
Uh-oh.
510
00:26:15,696 --> 00:26:17,379
I've watched enough
wrestling to know
511
00:26:17,382 --> 00:26:18,682
It's all fake.
512
00:26:18,684 --> 00:26:21,283
No one ever gets hurt...
513
00:26:21,285 --> 00:26:23,352
Aaaahhhh!
Rrraahhrr!
514
00:26:23,354 --> 00:26:25,020
Rrraahhhr!
515
00:26:30,261 --> 00:26:32,194
Roy!
516
00:26:39,002 --> 00:26:40,468
Not fake.
517
00:26:40,470 --> 00:26:42,687
It's not fake.
518
00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:44,905
Run for your life,
Helen... quickly.
519
00:26:44,908 --> 00:26:46,641
Helen, hold me...
520
00:26:46,643 --> 00:26:48,343
Aah!
521
00:26:57,286 --> 00:26:58,252
Aah!
522
00:26:58,254 --> 00:27:00,954
Watch, Mr. Pierce.
See how it's done.
523
00:27:00,956 --> 00:27:05,191
The exhilarating end
of a tedious life.
524
00:27:08,563 --> 00:27:10,096
Grrr!
525
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,799
Get up. Get up!
526
00:27:13,801 --> 00:27:19,671
Here comes that gorgon girl
to finish the job.
527
00:27:19,673 --> 00:27:22,574
Leave him alone, you bitch!
528
00:27:22,576 --> 00:27:24,476
Grrr!
529
00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:25,544
I apologize.
530
00:27:25,546 --> 00:27:29,314
You're probably really
not a bitch.
531
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:30,982
Roy, get up!
532
00:27:32,219 --> 00:27:34,652
The gorgon's in the seats!
533
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,053
He's history!
534
00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:37,288
Roy!
535
00:27:37,290 --> 00:27:40,057
You know, for
a full-figured woman,
536
00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:42,526
You really wear
that outfit well.
537
00:27:42,528 --> 00:27:44,128
Help! Ow!
538
00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:46,330
Whoa, Nellie! Cat fight!
539
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:48,498
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
540
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,367
This could be the end.
541
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:54,070
Grrr!
542
00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:02,844
My hair!
543
00:28:17,627 --> 00:28:19,427
Looks like that pathetic loser
544
00:28:19,429 --> 00:28:25,099
Isn't going to be
as easy as we thought.
545
00:28:30,106 --> 00:28:30,938
Roy.
546
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,872
What happened?
547
00:28:32,874 --> 00:28:34,040
We won.
548
00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:35,842
Or rather, I won.
549
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:36,843
Knables!
Knables!
550
00:28:36,845 --> 00:28:38,845
Knables!
Knables!
551
00:28:38,847 --> 00:28:41,681
Knables!
Knables!
552
00:28:44,553 --> 00:28:46,819
All right, you won, too.
553
00:28:46,821 --> 00:28:48,554
Damn right.
554
00:28:49,590 --> 00:28:52,391
And your success
does not threaten me.
555
00:28:52,393 --> 00:28:54,860
It does, too.
556
00:29:19,385 --> 00:29:22,085
Totally wicked.
557
00:29:28,994 --> 00:29:31,093
Excellent.
558
00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:38,601
Where's mom and d... oh, my god.
559
00:29:39,070 --> 00:29:40,970
Dad must have gotten
it last night.
560
00:29:40,972 --> 00:29:42,705
How did James dean really die?
561
00:29:42,707 --> 00:29:48,276
Find out tonight on autopsies
of the rich and famous.
562
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,985
The usual, sir?
563
00:29:56,987 --> 00:29:59,354
Please.
564
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:29,848
Bizarre.
565
00:30:29,849 --> 00:30:31,282
Welcome to
northern overexposure,
566
00:30:31,283 --> 00:30:32,716
The story of a young doctor
from new york
567
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,288
Who comes to Alaska,
complains about everything,
568
00:30:36,290 --> 00:30:38,657
And freezes to death.
569
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:52,303
Hello! Yoo-hoo, mister!
570
00:30:52,305 --> 00:30:55,473
Stay away!
These are my holes!
571
00:30:55,475 --> 00:30:56,173
Back off!
572
00:30:56,175 --> 00:30:58,309
Oh, knable, it's only you.
573
00:30:58,311 --> 00:31:00,510
How does he know our name?
574
00:31:00,512 --> 00:31:03,546
Trying to find
a conduit out of here.
575
00:31:03,548 --> 00:31:05,148
Conduit?
576
00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:06,749
Yeah. A window
to the next channel.
577
00:31:06,752 --> 00:31:09,919
If you think I'm spending
the rest of eternity here,
578
00:31:09,921 --> 00:31:10,954
You're crazy!
579
00:31:12,424 --> 00:31:14,990
Here it is!
Here it is!
580
00:31:14,992 --> 00:31:16,925
This is it!
581
00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:28,803
The shack!
582
00:31:36,246 --> 00:31:38,212
Aah!
583
00:31:39,749 --> 00:31:42,216
Helen! Helen!
584
00:31:57,065 --> 00:32:00,432
Hey, mom and dad left us a note.
585
00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:01,433
Give me that.
586
00:32:01,435 --> 00:32:04,570
"Dear kids,
had to leave for a while.
587
00:32:04,572 --> 00:32:07,473
"Will call tomorrow to explain.
588
00:32:07,475 --> 00:32:08,641
Love, mom."
589
00:32:08,643 --> 00:32:11,810
Killer!
The house to myself!
590
00:32:11,812 --> 00:32:13,845
They did it.
591
00:32:13,846 --> 00:32:15,879
They went away,
just like billy's mom and dad did.
592
00:32:15,882 --> 00:32:19,117
And now it's your turn
to go away, dweebnik.
593
00:32:19,119 --> 00:32:22,954
Shelley, it's me.
Guess what?
594
00:33:41,362 --> 00:33:43,061
What are you doing?
595
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,730
Did you see that?
596
00:33:44,732 --> 00:33:47,065
That dish, it ate my bmx.
597
00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:50,502
Is this some kind
of male puberty thing?
598
00:33:51,772 --> 00:33:53,672
Let me get this straight.
599
00:33:53,674 --> 00:33:57,275
We've been sucked into
some kind of TV world?
600
00:33:57,277 --> 00:33:59,543
Are you saying
that that salesman was...
601
00:33:59,545 --> 00:34:01,262
Mr. Spike...
602
00:34:01,263 --> 00:34:02,980
Mephistopheles
of the cathode ray,
603
00:34:02,982 --> 00:34:04,849
Big brother
to the ungrateful dead.
604
00:34:04,851 --> 00:34:08,819
If we ever cross
channels again... ho ho ho!
605
00:34:08,821 --> 00:34:09,986
Roy, how could you?
606
00:34:09,988 --> 00:34:12,522
I thought I was buying a TV.
607
00:34:12,524 --> 00:34:15,425
Oh! This is
just great.
608
00:34:15,427 --> 00:34:16,526
This is great.
609
00:34:16,528 --> 00:34:18,862
You wanted to live
in a TV fantasy?
610
00:34:18,864 --> 00:34:20,230
You got your wish.
611
00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:22,632
At least we're not dead.
612
00:34:22,634 --> 00:34:23,366
Not yet.
613
00:34:23,368 --> 00:34:25,401
Stay alive another 15 hours...
614
00:34:25,403 --> 00:34:28,170
Bingo. Free pass
back to reality.
615
00:34:28,172 --> 00:34:30,539
The odds of making it are...
616
00:34:32,843 --> 00:34:34,243
Oh, my.
617
00:34:34,245 --> 00:34:37,313
The cold's no place for a stiff.
618
00:34:37,315 --> 00:34:38,380
Oh, my god.
619
00:34:38,382 --> 00:34:39,747
Don't panic.
620
00:34:39,749 --> 00:34:42,116
I got us into this,
I'll get us out.
621
00:34:42,118 --> 00:34:46,621
Your leadership skills couldn't
get us out of a t-shirt!
622
00:34:52,495 --> 00:34:54,561
I'll get it!
623
00:34:55,798 --> 00:34:56,930
Hi! Hi! Hi!
624
00:34:56,932 --> 00:34:59,066
Hi. Come in.
625
00:35:05,975 --> 00:35:08,808
I don't believe in
out-of-body experiences.
626
00:35:08,810 --> 00:35:11,510
That's because you hold
your emotions back.
627
00:35:11,512 --> 00:35:13,429
Do not.
628
00:35:13,430 --> 00:35:15,347
What do you think of this color?
629
00:35:15,350 --> 00:35:16,415
That's all right.
630
00:35:16,417 --> 00:35:19,719
I don't think it
really goes in here.
631
00:35:19,721 --> 00:35:20,786
Clashes with the bars.
632
00:35:20,788 --> 00:35:23,455
You can't really say
you're an expressive person.
633
00:35:23,457 --> 00:35:26,725
What do you think
of this color here?
634
00:35:26,727 --> 00:35:28,893
Clashes with the bars.
635
00:35:28,895 --> 00:35:31,262
See? I told you.
636
00:35:31,264 --> 00:35:34,099
Coming this fall...
637
00:35:36,269 --> 00:35:39,069
♪ row, row, row your boat ♪
638
00:35:39,071 --> 00:35:41,438
♪ gently down the stream ♪
639
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,940
♪ merrily,
merrily, merrily... ♪
640
00:35:42,942 --> 00:35:45,309
These kids are driving me crazy!
641
00:35:45,311 --> 00:35:47,811
Wish there was some way
to shut them up!
642
00:35:47,813 --> 00:35:51,115
For those long,
tedious car trips, you need...
643
00:35:51,117 --> 00:35:53,416
The silencer of the lambs.
644
00:35:53,418 --> 00:35:57,053
Driving will never be the same.
645
00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:02,859
Silencer of the pets
sold separately.
646
00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:07,195
It's...
647
00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:17,439
My bike.
648
00:36:19,576 --> 00:36:22,576
That's my bike.
649
00:36:24,514 --> 00:36:27,848
You saw a bike like yours on TV.
650
00:36:27,850 --> 00:36:28,516
So what?
651
00:36:28,518 --> 00:36:30,851
Not a bike like my bike.
652
00:36:30,853 --> 00:36:32,186
My bike! Come on.
653
00:36:32,188 --> 00:36:34,088
Stop it!
Leave me alone.
654
00:36:34,090 --> 00:36:35,856
Look, there's something else.
655
00:36:35,858 --> 00:36:40,593
I found this on the
ground near the dish.
656
00:36:45,467 --> 00:36:46,332
Mom's watch.
657
00:36:46,334 --> 00:36:48,468
It stopped at 10:30.
658
00:36:48,470 --> 00:36:51,303
This is going to sound
totally crazy,
659
00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:54,089
But I don't think
660
00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:56,874
Mom and dad went to the
mountains for the weekend.
661
00:36:56,877 --> 00:36:59,711
Come on, Diane!
662
00:36:59,713 --> 00:37:03,782
Look, I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about, ok?
663
00:37:03,784 --> 00:37:05,716
Now leave us alone!
664
00:37:05,718 --> 00:37:07,518
Diane, whatever you do,
665
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,621
Don't go in the back yard, ok?
666
00:37:10,623 --> 00:37:13,858
Don't go in the back yard!
667
00:37:15,428 --> 00:37:16,594
If you'll excuse me,
668
00:37:16,596 --> 00:37:18,496
I'm off to warmer megahertz.
669
00:37:18,498 --> 00:37:20,530
Going to find a channel
with sun,
670
00:37:20,532 --> 00:37:23,266
Funny drinks with
those little umbrellas,
671
00:37:23,268 --> 00:37:25,769
And maybe a dog track.
672
00:37:28,807 --> 00:37:30,774
All clear.
673
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,545
Hey! Aah!
674
00:37:38,983 --> 00:37:43,385
I'm already dead!
Save her!
675
00:37:59,269 --> 00:38:01,102
We got to get to that conduit!
676
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:03,972
Roy, it's getting worse!
677
00:38:04,507 --> 00:38:07,774
Wait, wait, wait.
I got an idea.
678
00:38:07,776 --> 00:38:10,310
Push! Come on, now.
679
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:26,993
There it is.
680
00:38:26,995 --> 00:38:29,328
There it is!
681
00:38:30,532 --> 00:38:32,465
Come on.
682
00:38:58,491 --> 00:38:59,490
Jump.
683
00:38:59,492 --> 00:39:02,093
Jump?
684
00:39:02,094 --> 00:39:04,694
Wherever it leads can't
be any worse than this.
685
00:39:20,878 --> 00:39:22,010
Yeow!
686
00:39:22,012 --> 00:39:23,645
Umph!
687
00:39:26,517 --> 00:39:29,484
Couldn't be any worse, huh, Roy?
688
00:39:29,486 --> 00:39:30,919
Helen?
689
00:39:30,921 --> 00:39:32,354
Oh, my god!
690
00:39:32,356 --> 00:39:34,555
We're cartoons.
691
00:39:35,758 --> 00:39:37,391
Boy, this is strange.
692
00:39:37,393 --> 00:39:40,261
Strange? I'm
an animated rodent
693
00:39:40,263 --> 00:39:42,530
Wearing high-heeled
running shoes.
694
00:39:42,532 --> 00:39:45,900
The word "strange"
is somehow lacking.
695
00:39:56,712 --> 00:39:58,478
At least we're safe here.
696
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,381
No one ever dies
in cartoons, right?
697
00:40:01,383 --> 00:40:03,482
Ralph, I left some food out.
698
00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:05,818
I hope it doesn't
attract any mice.
699
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:08,520
Don't worry.
That new device is guaranteed.
700
00:40:08,522 --> 00:40:11,757
No rodent stands
a chance in there.
701
00:40:21,835 --> 00:40:23,601
Stay tuned.
702
00:40:24,271 --> 00:40:26,771
How can you even think
of eating doughnuts
703
00:40:26,773 --> 00:40:28,106
At a time like this?
704
00:40:28,108 --> 00:40:31,875
Should I look for some oat bran?
I'm starved.
705
00:40:31,877 --> 00:40:34,645
If you don't come down,
I'm leaving.
706
00:40:34,647 --> 00:40:37,748
Where you going to go,
your cartoon mother's house?
707
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:40,617
I am warning you, Roy.
708
00:40:41,620 --> 00:40:44,021
Roy?
709
00:40:44,022 --> 00:40:46,422
Wow! These things are
as big as Buicks.
710
00:40:46,424 --> 00:40:48,624
I'm gone.
That's it.
711
00:40:48,626 --> 00:40:51,894
I said we're through,
and we are through.
712
00:40:51,896 --> 00:40:54,330
I can do better on my own.
713
00:40:54,332 --> 00:40:58,301
I am not a mouse.
I'm Helen knable.
714
00:40:58,303 --> 00:41:00,002
I have an MBA.
715
00:41:00,004 --> 00:41:02,570
I live at 1532 blue jay court.
716
00:41:02,572 --> 00:41:05,240
I have two beautiful children...
717
00:41:05,242 --> 00:41:08,943
Who I may never see again.
718
00:41:08,945 --> 00:41:11,313
Mom?
719
00:41:18,487 --> 00:41:20,254
Roy?
720
00:41:29,298 --> 00:41:33,800
Warning... you are trespassing
in a human habitation.
721
00:41:33,802 --> 00:41:36,602
The penalty is death.
722
00:41:47,348 --> 00:41:50,182
My doctor was right.
723
00:41:50,183 --> 00:41:53,017
Doughnuts will be
the death of me.
724
00:42:27,519 --> 00:42:28,785
Aah!
Aah!
725
00:42:28,787 --> 00:42:30,419
Aah!
Aah!
726
00:42:36,260 --> 00:42:38,627
Would you let go of me?
727
00:42:38,629 --> 00:42:42,097
You have to see this.
728
00:42:43,567 --> 00:42:45,616
There.
729
00:42:45,617 --> 00:42:47,667
This will work.It worked on MacGyver.
730
00:42:47,670 --> 00:42:49,871
What are you talking about?
731
00:42:49,873 --> 00:42:51,005
Can't you see?
732
00:42:51,007 --> 00:42:54,242
It's mom and dad in the cartoon.
733
00:42:54,244 --> 00:42:56,511
Very funny, pus-head.
734
00:42:56,513 --> 00:43:00,847
Diane, you've got to believe me.
735
00:43:17,432 --> 00:43:22,101
Kids, don't try this at home.
736
00:43:53,032 --> 00:43:55,766
I think we lost them.
737
00:43:56,502 --> 00:43:58,301
What?
738
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,102
For a mouse,
you, um, look pretty sexy.
739
00:44:00,104 --> 00:44:02,805
Too bad you didn't like
the way I looked
740
00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:04,373
When I was human.
741
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:05,908
I always did.
742
00:44:05,910 --> 00:44:07,944
News to me.
743
00:44:07,946 --> 00:44:09,545
I'm sorry.
744
00:44:16,119 --> 00:44:17,018
Surrender.
745
00:44:17,020 --> 00:44:19,020
Come out with...
746
00:44:34,070 --> 00:44:37,872
Look!
Roy, turn! Turn!
747
00:44:39,942 --> 00:44:42,208
Helen, wait!
748
00:44:48,350 --> 00:44:51,684
This is one clever pussy.
749
00:44:52,854 --> 00:44:54,153
I've watched enough cartoons.
750
00:44:54,155 --> 00:44:56,388
How would an animated character
751
00:44:56,390 --> 00:44:58,023
Handle this?
752
00:45:03,731 --> 00:45:07,966
This will put a permanent
crease in his shorts.
753
00:45:13,006 --> 00:45:16,307
Identify yourself.
754
00:45:16,309 --> 00:45:18,776
Catnip-gram.
755
00:45:52,076 --> 00:45:55,577
I'll never get out of here.
756
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:05,019
Deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb...
That's all, folks.
757
00:46:07,524 --> 00:46:11,258
I've lost the feeling in my arm.
758
00:46:11,260 --> 00:46:14,761
All of a sudden,
I can't see anything.
759
00:46:14,763 --> 00:46:16,730
Uhh!
Oh!
760
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:20,801
Sundays at 8:00...
761
00:46:20,803 --> 00:46:23,537
It's...
762
00:46:25,473 --> 00:46:27,106
Where did he go?
763
00:46:27,108 --> 00:46:29,775
Duane's underworld.
764
00:46:29,777 --> 00:46:32,178
Duane's underworld.
765
00:46:32,180 --> 00:46:35,381
It's partytime! Excellent!
766
00:46:38,852 --> 00:46:42,053
Welcome to Duane's
underworld, O father of lies.
767
00:46:42,055 --> 00:46:43,521
I'm your excrement host Duane,
768
00:46:43,523 --> 00:46:47,392
And with me as always is my
slightly decaying co-host Garf.
769
00:46:47,394 --> 00:46:48,193
Wifto! Wifto!
770
00:46:48,195 --> 00:46:49,628
Party eternally, Garf.
771
00:46:49,630 --> 00:46:50,762
Party eternally, Duane.
772
00:46:50,764 --> 00:46:53,264
All right.
Today we have a special guest,
773
00:46:53,266 --> 00:46:56,100
A man who can't even
sell plumping supplies.
774
00:46:56,102 --> 00:46:59,303
Shhyeah! Like no one
uses a toilet.
775
00:46:59,305 --> 00:47:01,005
Mr. Roy knable.
776
00:47:01,007 --> 00:47:03,474
Salutations, O mighty failure.
777
00:47:03,476 --> 00:47:06,477
Mr. Knable,
before we get started,
778
00:47:06,479 --> 00:47:10,213
Tell me what you see
on this card.
779
00:47:10,215 --> 00:47:13,416
I... War ship... Satin?
780
00:47:13,418 --> 00:47:15,451
Excrement.
781
00:47:17,489 --> 00:47:19,940
Now, I understand
782
00:47:19,941 --> 00:47:22,392
You're searching for
your lovely wife Helen...
783
00:47:22,394 --> 00:47:24,826
Who I truly believe
you will find,
784
00:47:24,828 --> 00:47:27,896
Because good always
conquers over evil...
785
00:47:27,898 --> 00:47:30,332
Not!
Not!
786
00:47:33,804 --> 00:47:36,738
In order to assist you
in your efforts,
787
00:47:36,740 --> 00:47:39,774
We have located
a photograph of your wife
788
00:47:39,776 --> 00:47:41,676
To show our viewers.
789
00:47:41,678 --> 00:47:43,310
Where did that come from?
790
00:47:43,312 --> 00:47:45,212
She's a vixen,
Mr. K.
791
00:47:45,214 --> 00:47:46,447
Beezle-babe! Tent pole!
792
00:47:46,449 --> 00:47:49,150
Lady knable, we salute you.
793
00:47:49,152 --> 00:47:50,217
Schwing!
Schwing!
794
00:47:50,219 --> 00:47:51,986
And your daughter's pompoms,
795
00:47:51,988 --> 00:47:54,287
They're delectable, too, man.
796
00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:55,221
You creeps!
797
00:47:55,223 --> 00:47:59,859
Uh-oh. Extreme close-up
on Mr. Knable.
798
00:47:59,861 --> 00:48:01,661
Oh!
Oh!
799
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,032
Excellent.
800
00:48:07,668 --> 00:48:09,768
One more time!
801
00:48:13,607 --> 00:48:15,340
Man, I'm getting dizzy.
802
00:48:15,342 --> 00:48:16,709
I could hurl.
803
00:48:16,711 --> 00:48:18,377
No. Chew it back, man.
804
00:48:18,379 --> 00:48:22,814
Now the red-hot-poker-
in-the-eye cam.
805
00:48:35,995 --> 00:48:37,961
Bogus.
806
00:48:38,697 --> 00:48:40,130
I'm black and white.
807
00:48:40,132 --> 00:48:43,533
Hello. Testing, testing.
808
00:48:44,470 --> 00:48:47,270
"Roy knable,
private dick."
809
00:48:47,272 --> 00:48:50,073
Well, better than being
a public dick.
810
00:48:50,075 --> 00:48:54,577
OK, I'm in some old movie.
Must be on cable.
811
00:48:54,579 --> 00:48:57,413
I've been watching
these things my whole life.
812
00:48:57,415 --> 00:48:59,548
I should know what to do.
813
00:48:59,550 --> 00:49:02,284
Be like Bogart,like in the Maltese falcon.
814
00:49:02,286 --> 00:49:05,121
I'm on a case.
I got to find Helen.
815
00:49:05,123 --> 00:49:06,721
Got to find the clues.
816
00:49:06,723 --> 00:49:10,992
Got to find out
how to use this thing.
817
00:49:14,096 --> 00:49:15,929
Mr. Knable,
you've dropped your gun again.
818
00:49:15,932 --> 00:49:17,565
I know!
819
00:49:21,270 --> 00:49:24,505
Roy, is that you?
820
00:49:29,779 --> 00:49:32,045
Sir... Great news.
821
00:49:32,047 --> 00:49:33,881
Your new class of recruits...
822
00:49:33,883 --> 00:49:37,316
We've taken possession
of all of them,
823
00:49:37,318 --> 00:49:38,785
Except two, sir.
824
00:49:38,787 --> 00:49:41,921
Oh! I know that,
you postulating putz!
825
00:49:41,923 --> 00:49:44,924
They've just been lucky,
that's all.
826
00:49:44,926 --> 00:49:45,992
Have they?
827
00:49:45,994 --> 00:49:49,262
You know, the strain of your job
828
00:49:49,264 --> 00:49:50,462
Must be tremendous.
829
00:49:50,464 --> 00:49:52,030
Ever considered
taking a vacation,
830
00:49:52,032 --> 00:49:55,867
Letting someone else take the
burden off your shoulders?
831
00:49:55,869 --> 00:49:58,537
Someone else?
832
00:49:58,539 --> 00:49:59,538
You?
833
00:49:59,540 --> 00:50:01,640
I'm flattered you'd even think
834
00:50:01,642 --> 00:50:03,608
I could fill your shoes.
835
00:50:03,610 --> 00:50:05,476
But I'm ready to try, sir.
836
00:50:05,478 --> 00:50:08,979
And now...
Get in shape with the exorcist.
837
00:50:08,981 --> 00:50:11,916
Come on, people,
let's get in shape.
838
00:50:11,918 --> 00:50:14,652
Come on.
Make it burn.
839
00:50:14,654 --> 00:50:16,954
Feel it burn.
840
00:50:17,957 --> 00:50:19,689
Good, Doreen.
841
00:50:19,691 --> 00:50:22,425
OK, everybody, head spins.
842
00:50:22,427 --> 00:50:23,393
With me.
843
00:50:23,395 --> 00:50:25,195
Ready, go.
844
00:50:25,430 --> 00:50:27,564
Very good.
Very nice.
845
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:29,833
I like it.
846
00:50:29,835 --> 00:50:31,234
OK, that's good.
847
00:50:31,236 --> 00:50:33,236
Cool down.
Shake it out.
848
00:50:33,238 --> 00:50:35,037
OK, now vomit.
849
00:50:35,039 --> 00:50:38,907
Kids,
now there's a new beer just for you.
850
00:50:38,909 --> 00:50:40,592
It's got no alcohol,
851
00:50:40,593 --> 00:50:42,276
But it'll make you
act just like dad.
852
00:50:42,279 --> 00:50:45,080
Give me another one, babe.
853
00:50:45,082 --> 00:50:47,483
That's my boy.
854
00:50:47,484 --> 00:50:49,884
Yogi beer. You'll be
just like your dad.
855
00:50:53,690 --> 00:50:54,690
Dad?
856
00:51:00,496 --> 00:51:02,797
Get away from the dish.
857
00:51:02,799 --> 00:51:05,098
Darryl, what is with you?
858
00:51:05,100 --> 00:51:06,867
Get lost.
859
00:51:14,409 --> 00:51:16,743
5, 6, 7, 8.
860
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,814
5, 6, 7, 8.
861
00:51:25,086 --> 00:51:27,186
5, 6, 7, 8.
862
00:51:27,188 --> 00:51:28,687
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
863
00:51:28,689 --> 00:51:30,356
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
864
00:51:30,358 --> 00:51:32,891
Darryl, what are you doing?
865
00:51:32,893 --> 00:51:35,627
Darryl!
Oh, my god!
866
00:51:35,629 --> 00:51:39,931
Guys, wait! It's not my
fault my brother's a creep!
867
00:51:42,002 --> 00:51:43,701
Darryl!
868
00:51:43,703 --> 00:51:45,336
Darryl!
869
00:51:45,338 --> 00:51:47,138
Darryl!
870
00:51:51,543 --> 00:51:52,876
You're pizza topping!
871
00:51:52,878 --> 00:51:55,846
Wait. Mom and dad
are here.
872
00:51:55,848 --> 00:51:57,681
They're home?
873
00:51:57,950 --> 00:52:00,817
Well, not exactly.
874
00:52:00,819 --> 00:52:02,351
Look.
875
00:52:05,990 --> 00:52:08,157
See? That's dad.
876
00:52:08,159 --> 00:52:10,526
That is not dad.
877
00:52:13,798 --> 00:52:15,298
Mom?
878
00:52:16,234 --> 00:52:18,817
That looks like mom.
879
00:52:18,818 --> 00:52:21,402
It is mom. That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
880
00:52:21,405 --> 00:52:25,040
Our parents are trapped
in television.
881
00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:27,142
Oh, wow.
882
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:28,910
"Classy dame vanishes.
883
00:52:28,912 --> 00:52:32,146
Last seen
at club seidenbaum."
884
00:52:32,949 --> 00:52:34,682
Helen.
885
00:52:34,684 --> 00:52:35,749
Seidenbaum.
886
00:52:35,751 --> 00:52:36,917
That name is famil...
887
00:52:36,919 --> 00:52:38,719
Oh, my god.
Murray seidenbaum.
888
00:52:38,721 --> 00:52:40,487
He lives right near me.
889
00:52:40,489 --> 00:52:42,623
He borrowed my lawn mower.
890
00:52:46,861 --> 00:52:48,861
Obviously,
we're dealing with something
891
00:52:48,863 --> 00:52:50,530
Of a supernatural
nature here, Diane.
892
00:52:50,532 --> 00:52:55,101
I mean, this thing,
it did not come from radio shack.
893
00:52:55,103 --> 00:52:59,372
Yeah, so you're the smart one.
Think of something.
894
00:52:59,374 --> 00:53:02,224
OK, um...
895
00:53:02,225 --> 00:53:05,076
What goes in a dish
and winds up on TV?
896
00:53:05,079 --> 00:53:07,346
My bike...
897
00:53:07,348 --> 00:53:09,214
Our parents...
898
00:53:11,418 --> 00:53:13,018
Follow me.
899
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,461
Hey, not my stereo.
900
00:53:23,463 --> 00:53:24,862
I need the parts.
901
00:53:24,864 --> 00:53:26,797
Go downstairs and watch them.
902
00:53:26,799 --> 00:53:29,166
Keep track of them.
903
00:53:37,509 --> 00:53:42,278
Ho ho.
Nice work, boys.
904
00:53:43,281 --> 00:53:45,981
Glad you could
join me, Mrs. Knable.
905
00:53:45,983 --> 00:53:47,750
Didn't have much choice.
906
00:53:47,752 --> 00:53:49,585
Lobster?
907
00:53:49,587 --> 00:53:51,120
Drink.
908
00:53:51,389 --> 00:53:53,422
Where's my husband?
909
00:53:53,424 --> 00:53:54,556
Why worry about him?
910
00:53:54,558 --> 00:53:56,658
I ditched my wife
five channels ago.
911
00:53:56,660 --> 00:54:01,729
She happened to meet the
business end of a 50-ton reptile.
912
00:54:01,731 --> 00:54:03,398
And I can tell you,
913
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:06,567
I don't exactly miss
dried meat loaf.
914
00:54:06,569 --> 00:54:08,503
This is great here.
Great.
915
00:54:08,505 --> 00:54:10,938
I don't ever want to get out.
916
00:54:10,940 --> 00:54:13,574
Outside, I was
Murray the doormat.
917
00:54:13,576 --> 00:54:17,144
In here...
Boss seidenbaum.
918
00:54:18,247 --> 00:54:20,547
Brought my remote in with me.
919
00:54:20,549 --> 00:54:23,717
Gets too hot... bam,
I'm on another channel.
920
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:25,886
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
921
00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:27,454
Aah!
Aah!
922
00:54:27,456 --> 00:54:28,422
Oh!
Oh!
923
00:54:28,424 --> 00:54:31,090
You're not coming in here!
924
00:54:34,262 --> 00:54:35,995
Euh! Euh!
925
00:54:35,997 --> 00:54:37,129
Ahhh!
926
00:54:37,131 --> 00:54:39,532
Well, look who showed up.
927
00:54:39,534 --> 00:54:40,533
Where's my...
928
00:54:40,535 --> 00:54:41,267
Hello, Roy.
929
00:54:41,269 --> 00:54:42,601
Helen, you're all right.
930
00:54:42,603 --> 00:54:45,303
You... you look terrific!
931
00:54:45,305 --> 00:54:46,571
Oh, really?
932
00:54:46,573 --> 00:54:50,408
Hey, seidenbaum!
I'm taking over your business!
933
00:54:50,410 --> 00:54:53,678
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
934
00:55:15,433 --> 00:55:16,899
Seidenbaum.
935
00:55:16,901 --> 00:55:19,135
Knables.
936
00:55:19,136 --> 00:55:21,370
All I wanted was to be
the big shot for once.
937
00:55:21,372 --> 00:55:23,639
Take my remote.
Get out of here.
938
00:55:23,641 --> 00:55:28,510
You two still got a chance
of making it together.
939
00:55:32,783 --> 00:55:34,182
There it is!
940
00:55:34,184 --> 00:55:35,650
No, no, stay down.
941
00:55:35,652 --> 00:55:37,853
This is my job.
942
00:56:02,644 --> 00:56:04,644
Piece of cake.
943
00:56:04,646 --> 00:56:05,646
OK, ready?
944
00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:16,522
Oh, my god.
I lost them.
945
00:56:16,524 --> 00:56:20,893
The next item we have
for you on the...
946
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,564
Dad, where are you?
947
00:56:25,565 --> 00:56:28,332
And now the all-new miniseries
about the french revolution...
948
00:56:28,334 --> 00:56:31,135
The story of
the Marquis de Knable,
949
00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:32,887
An enemy of the people,
950
00:56:32,888 --> 00:56:34,638
Who wears a disguise
to escape the guillotine.
951
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:39,243
It's an epic drama of love,
danger, and cross-dressing.
952
00:56:46,251 --> 00:56:47,751
Roy.
953
00:56:48,754 --> 00:56:51,288
You have boobs.
954
00:56:52,724 --> 00:56:55,091
Oh, they're not mine.
955
00:57:11,474 --> 00:57:14,275
Psst! Hey, knables.
956
00:57:18,415 --> 00:57:19,514
Nice disguise.
957
00:57:19,516 --> 00:57:20,549
Crowley?
958
00:57:20,550 --> 00:57:21,583
Interesting concept,
diagonal boobs.
959
00:57:21,585 --> 00:57:24,085
Could you fix that thing?
960
00:57:24,087 --> 00:57:26,420
Thought the wolves got you.
961
00:57:26,422 --> 00:57:28,488
Tell you something
about wolves...
962
00:57:28,490 --> 00:57:30,190
Vicious?
Goes without saying.
963
00:57:30,192 --> 00:57:32,393
But not that bright.
964
00:57:32,394 --> 00:57:34,595
While those dumb bunnies were
fighting over my appendages,
965
00:57:34,597 --> 00:57:36,730
I managed to escape.
966
00:57:36,731 --> 00:57:38,864
Liberte, citizen.
Vive la France!
967
00:57:38,867 --> 00:57:40,366
Power to the people!
968
00:57:40,368 --> 00:57:44,170
Ha ha ha ha!
Come on.
969
00:57:50,878 --> 00:57:53,012
Personally,
I think he's losing it.
970
00:57:53,014 --> 00:57:55,046
What a pathetic thing to watch.
971
00:57:55,048 --> 00:57:58,783
Only 2 hours left,
and your 24 hours are up.
972
00:57:58,785 --> 00:58:02,120
All you got to do is lie low.
973
00:58:03,456 --> 00:58:04,789
Les cops.
Les cops.
974
00:58:04,791 --> 00:58:06,174
Inside.
Inside.
975
00:58:06,175 --> 00:58:07,558
I'll find a conduit out of here.
976
00:58:07,561 --> 00:58:12,896
Bonjour.
Nice day for an execution, non?
977
00:58:15,717 --> 00:58:18,134
Stay tuned for the final
chapter of off with his head,
978
00:58:18,137 --> 00:58:21,438
When the marquis de knable
finally loses his.
979
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:22,973
Uh-oh.
980
00:58:25,944 --> 00:58:27,110
Darryl!
981
00:58:27,112 --> 00:58:28,411
We got to jam.
982
00:58:31,850 --> 00:58:33,349
Merci.
983
00:58:33,351 --> 00:58:38,021
Well, we've always
wanted to go to Paris.
984
00:58:38,256 --> 00:58:40,856
In the 20th century.
985
00:58:40,857 --> 00:58:43,458
Since we're here,
we might as well make the best of it.
986
00:58:43,460 --> 00:58:45,027
Make the best of it?
987
00:58:45,029 --> 00:58:46,695
This is the french revolution.
988
00:58:46,697 --> 00:58:48,430
People are trying to kill you.
989
00:58:48,432 --> 00:58:52,100
If we get out of this,
things will be different.
990
00:58:52,102 --> 00:58:54,368
I won't just be a watcher.
991
00:58:54,370 --> 00:58:57,138
I'll be the man I was
when we first met.
992
00:58:57,140 --> 00:59:02,176
You weren't blond then,
and you wore a lot less make-up.
993
00:59:06,816 --> 00:59:11,551
Aim it at the
center of the dish!
994
00:59:28,903 --> 00:59:31,904
You are both under arrest!
995
00:59:31,906 --> 00:59:32,604
For what?
996
00:59:32,606 --> 00:59:34,573
For being too beautiful
997
00:59:34,575 --> 00:59:36,909
And without proper escort.
998
00:59:36,911 --> 00:59:37,909
Ha ha ha!
999
00:59:37,911 --> 00:59:40,845
Garcon, more wine!
1000
00:59:53,992 --> 00:59:57,327
OK. TV's connected
to the dish.
1001
00:59:57,329 --> 00:59:59,896
Now we go for contact.
1002
01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:18,280
There's no interference.
1003
01:00:18,282 --> 01:00:20,883
Nothing's getting through.
1004
01:00:21,219 --> 01:00:23,017
We need more power.
1005
01:00:23,019 --> 01:00:26,187
I'm going to cop some juice.
1006
01:00:26,556 --> 01:00:27,455
Be careful.
1007
01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:30,325
This woman is not who you think.
1008
01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:31,426
She is wanted.
1009
01:00:31,428 --> 01:00:34,462
Of course she's wanted,
you fool!
1010
01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:35,563
By me!
1011
01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,464
My Cherie...
1012
01:00:37,466 --> 01:00:40,000
You inflame me.
1013
01:00:40,002 --> 01:00:43,003
I never kiss on the first date.
1014
01:00:43,005 --> 01:00:43,737
Oh?
1015
01:00:43,739 --> 01:00:46,040
Ooh!
Naughty boy.
1016
01:00:46,041 --> 01:00:48,342
This has been a kick,
fellas, but we've got to go.
1017
01:00:48,344 --> 01:00:51,177
No, no!
Come back here, sweetheart!
1018
01:00:51,179 --> 01:00:52,812
Keep your hands off her!
1019
01:00:52,814 --> 01:00:57,383
Your hair's so beautiful.
May I have a lock of it?
1020
01:00:57,385 --> 01:00:58,251
I...
1021
01:00:58,253 --> 01:00:59,803
Oh!
Oh!
1022
01:00:59,804 --> 01:01:01,354
Why don't you keep
the whole thing?
1023
01:01:01,356 --> 01:01:02,822
I tried to tell you!
1024
01:01:02,824 --> 01:01:05,258
It's the marquis de knable!
1025
01:01:05,260 --> 01:01:07,659
Enemy of the people!
1026
01:01:07,661 --> 01:01:10,162
I knew that!
1027
01:01:11,098 --> 01:01:13,064
Marquis de knable...
1028
01:01:13,066 --> 01:01:14,933
The guillotine awaits!
1029
01:01:14,935 --> 01:01:19,237
I would have
given you chocolates.
1030
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,599
Kill the marquis!
Kill the marquis!
1031
01:01:50,601 --> 01:01:53,535
I'm telling you,
I'm not a marquis!
1032
01:01:53,537 --> 01:01:56,872
I sell plumbing supplies
in Seattle...
1033
01:01:56,874 --> 01:01:58,507
Washington!
1034
01:02:09,919 --> 01:02:10,918
Roy!
1035
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,053
Roy! Roy!
1036
01:02:12,055 --> 01:02:14,355
I love you.
1037
01:02:14,357 --> 01:02:16,824
You guys are making
a big mistake.
1038
01:02:16,826 --> 01:02:19,426
I'm not even a member
of this country!
1039
01:02:19,428 --> 01:02:22,662
Darryl, you'd better hurry up!
1040
01:02:24,833 --> 01:02:26,650
Kill the marquis!
1041
01:02:26,651 --> 01:02:28,468
Hi, fellas,
I loved you in star wars.
1042
01:02:28,470 --> 01:02:31,404
Can we just talk for a second?
1043
01:02:31,406 --> 01:02:32,973
Oh, my god. Holy...
1044
01:02:32,975 --> 01:02:35,074
Oh! Could we...
1045
01:02:44,752 --> 01:02:46,902
Any last requests?
1046
01:02:46,903 --> 01:02:49,052
Yeah. How about the long
version of stairway to heaven?
1047
01:02:49,055 --> 01:02:54,092
I'm afraid that is not
where you are going.
1048
01:02:58,832 --> 01:02:59,864
Darryl!
1049
01:03:11,076 --> 01:03:13,010
Here, catch!
1050
01:03:15,447 --> 01:03:19,749
Wait! An innocent man's
blood is being spilled!
1051
01:03:19,751 --> 01:03:20,650
Good point.
1052
01:03:20,652 --> 01:03:21,884
Better back away.
1053
01:03:21,886 --> 01:03:26,088
This one, he could be a gusher.
1054
01:03:30,628 --> 01:03:32,811
By order of the court...
1055
01:03:32,812 --> 01:03:34,996
Looks like spike's going to
make his quota after all.
1056
01:03:34,998 --> 01:03:37,599
I deliver the marquis
de Knable's soul
1057
01:03:37,601 --> 01:03:39,634
To its rightful owner!
1058
01:03:39,636 --> 01:03:42,604
Finally, he's mine.
1059
01:03:58,387 --> 01:04:02,221
How come he dresses
like a woman?
1060
01:04:02,223 --> 01:04:04,557
I do that sometimes.
1061
01:04:14,302 --> 01:04:16,635
Kill the marquis!
1062
01:04:26,614 --> 01:04:29,314
Dad, can you hear me?
1063
01:04:31,118 --> 01:04:33,451
Darryl? My god!
1064
01:04:33,953 --> 01:04:35,720
God?
1065
01:04:38,891 --> 01:04:40,725
Yes!
1066
01:04:40,727 --> 01:04:41,859
It's...
1067
01:04:41,861 --> 01:04:43,361
God!
1068
01:04:45,732 --> 01:04:47,964
Right, god?
1069
01:04:47,966 --> 01:04:51,468
Tell the infidels
to release him.
1070
01:04:51,470 --> 01:04:52,569
What's an infidel?
1071
01:04:52,571 --> 01:04:53,737
I don't know.
1072
01:04:53,739 --> 01:04:55,505
Tell them to release him!
1073
01:04:55,507 --> 01:04:57,390
Tell them!
1074
01:04:57,391 --> 01:04:59,274
Um... Um... Release
the marquis.
1075
01:04:59,277 --> 01:05:02,111
You heard him.
Get me out of this.
1076
01:05:02,113 --> 01:05:03,212
What's happening?
1077
01:05:04,315 --> 01:05:06,782
Who's messing
with my programming?
1078
01:05:09,053 --> 01:05:12,021
You... the weenie in black...
1079
01:05:12,023 --> 01:05:13,889
You, dork...
1080
01:05:13,891 --> 01:05:15,324
At the wheel...
1081
01:05:15,326 --> 01:05:17,225
Yeah, you!
1082
01:05:17,227 --> 01:05:19,327
Release him!
1083
01:05:20,230 --> 01:05:23,064
I am the voice of...
1084
01:05:27,570 --> 01:05:30,203
Ohhh...
Oh, Roy!
1085
01:05:30,839 --> 01:05:33,240
We beat spike!
We did it!
1086
01:05:33,242 --> 01:05:39,079
I would have given an arm
and a leg to see this!
1087
01:05:39,081 --> 01:05:41,048
In fact, I already did!
1088
01:05:41,050 --> 01:05:43,283
Ha ha ha!
No, it's...
1089
01:05:43,285 --> 01:05:44,285
Not possible.
1090
01:05:53,961 --> 01:05:56,962
Sir. Speaking
for the staff...
1091
01:05:56,964 --> 01:06:01,966
We'll all miss your kind words
and inspiring leadership.
1092
01:06:04,438 --> 01:06:06,004
Ducker, contracts...
1093
01:06:06,006 --> 01:06:07,122
What?
1094
01:06:07,123 --> 01:06:08,239
There was a protest
1095
01:06:08,241 --> 01:06:10,492
Filed on the knable case.
1096
01:06:10,493 --> 01:06:12,744
A verbal contract binds only those
parties personally making the agreement.
1097
01:06:12,746 --> 01:06:16,747
Therefore, the contract
can only be for one person.
1098
01:06:16,749 --> 01:06:18,482
You took two.
1099
01:06:18,484 --> 01:06:20,017
Yes.
1100
01:06:22,655 --> 01:06:24,154
Yes.
1101
01:06:24,824 --> 01:06:27,658
Yes! Yes! Oh!
1102
01:06:27,660 --> 01:06:29,376
Mmm!
1103
01:06:29,377 --> 01:06:31,094
Oh, you're the ugliest
bitch in perdition,
1104
01:06:31,096 --> 01:06:33,796
But you gave me
a beautiful idea.
1105
01:06:33,798 --> 01:06:35,531
Discharge
Mr. Knable.
1106
01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:36,766
But, sir...
1107
01:06:36,768 --> 01:06:39,202
The contract was for him only.
1108
01:06:39,204 --> 01:06:41,604
Masterful stroke, sir.
1109
01:06:41,606 --> 01:06:43,805
I don't get it.
1110
01:06:44,308 --> 01:06:47,809
They should've zapped
you two home by now.
1111
01:06:47,811 --> 01:06:49,711
You heard me...
1112
01:06:49,713 --> 01:06:52,748
Discharge Mr. Knable.
1113
01:06:57,688 --> 01:06:59,019
Roy?
1114
01:06:59,021 --> 01:07:00,121
Roy!
1115
01:07:00,123 --> 01:07:02,256
Oh!
Oh!
1116
01:07:16,605 --> 01:07:17,604
Dad!
1117
01:07:17,606 --> 01:07:19,305
Dad!
1118
01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:23,143
Where's your mother?
1119
01:07:23,144 --> 01:07:25,245
My obligation is limited to
those I have a contract with.
1120
01:07:25,247 --> 01:07:28,213
I fulfilled my end
by discharging Mr. Knable.
1121
01:07:28,215 --> 01:07:30,265
His wife is still...
1122
01:07:30,266 --> 01:07:32,316
Those who trespass into the
system are on their own.
1123
01:07:32,319 --> 01:07:34,486
We'll sort out the bodies later
1124
01:07:34,488 --> 01:07:36,288
After I kill them both.
1125
01:07:36,290 --> 01:07:39,124
How can we be sure
he'll come back?
1126
01:07:39,126 --> 01:07:41,894
Because he loves her.
He's a puss.
1127
01:07:41,896 --> 01:07:43,628
Oh, and I'll be back,
1128
01:07:43,630 --> 01:07:45,730
In case anyone's
feeling ambitious.
1129
01:07:45,732 --> 01:07:49,367
Well, time to rock 'n' roll.
1130
01:07:52,405 --> 01:07:54,105
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1131
01:07:54,107 --> 01:07:56,441
Crowley.
1132
01:07:56,442 --> 01:07:58,775
Quite a radical weight-loss
plan you've been on.
1133
01:07:58,777 --> 01:08:00,710
Yes. Ha ha ha.
1134
01:08:00,712 --> 01:08:02,712
Ha ha ha.
1135
01:08:03,215 --> 01:08:06,216
But, uh... Feeling
a lot, uh, better.
1136
01:08:06,218 --> 01:08:08,585
Ha ha ha!
1137
01:08:08,587 --> 01:08:09,986
Aah!
1138
01:08:09,988 --> 01:08:12,087
Hello, Mrs. Knable.
1139
01:08:12,089 --> 01:08:15,324
Mr. Spike,
at your service.
1140
01:08:15,326 --> 01:08:17,693
Where's my husband?
1141
01:08:17,695 --> 01:08:19,862
I'll take you to him.
1142
01:08:19,864 --> 01:08:21,664
Rahrr.
1143
01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:24,834
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1144
01:08:29,172 --> 01:08:30,972
Howdy, ma'am.
1145
01:08:30,973 --> 01:08:32,773
Reckon the 3:10 to Yuma
will be along any minute.
1146
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:37,011
Funny thing, though...
It don't exactly stop here.
1147
01:08:37,013 --> 01:08:39,047
You're going to hit me
with a train?
1148
01:08:39,049 --> 01:08:43,183
What can I say?
I'm a sucker for a big ending.
1149
01:08:43,185 --> 01:08:44,918
You sadistic bastard.
1150
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:45,986
Runs in the family.
1151
01:08:45,988 --> 01:08:48,488
My father was an oil
company president.
1152
01:08:48,490 --> 01:08:52,326
Well... Have a good day, Mrs.
Knable.
1153
01:08:56,331 --> 01:08:57,363
This just in...
1154
01:08:57,365 --> 01:08:59,498
Helen knable has been kidnapped
1155
01:08:59,500 --> 01:09:03,536
And taken to channel 1.
We take you there live.
1156
01:09:03,538 --> 01:09:06,839
Roy, wherever you are,
get your butt back here!
1157
01:09:06,841 --> 01:09:10,376
Unfortunately,
her gutless failure of a husband
1158
01:09:10,378 --> 01:09:13,245
Won't lift a finger to save her.
1159
01:09:13,247 --> 01:09:14,379
Right, Roy?
1160
01:09:14,381 --> 01:09:15,881
No.
1161
01:09:22,155 --> 01:09:27,725
Dynamite. He's going to hit me
with a train and blow me up?
1162
01:09:27,727 --> 01:09:29,393
Roy!
1163
01:09:29,395 --> 01:09:31,595
I want you both to stay inside.
1164
01:09:31,597 --> 01:09:33,597
Make sure those
doughnuts are ready.
1165
01:09:33,599 --> 01:09:36,734
I'll be very hungry
when I get back.
1166
01:09:36,736 --> 01:09:38,269
OK?
1167
01:09:38,604 --> 01:09:40,970
Careful, dad.
1168
01:10:14,404 --> 01:10:16,137
Help!
1169
01:10:18,408 --> 01:10:20,141
Helen?
1170
01:10:20,143 --> 01:10:21,809
Roy!
1171
01:10:30,585 --> 01:10:33,253
Back to play the hero, huh?
1172
01:10:33,255 --> 01:10:35,655
Ha ha ha ha ha!
1173
01:10:35,657 --> 01:10:39,224
Not exactly typecasting.
1174
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,493
Be about 6... 6'1".
1175
01:10:41,495 --> 01:10:43,028
Yeah.
1176
01:10:46,767 --> 01:10:50,135
Make your move, tinhorn.
1177
01:10:56,343 --> 01:10:59,010
Today, Roy!
1178
01:11:01,982 --> 01:11:03,681
No!
1179
01:11:03,683 --> 01:11:05,783
Dad!
Dad!
1180
01:11:25,670 --> 01:11:28,471
You missed me, partner.
1181
01:11:44,855 --> 01:11:47,055
Captain,
the ship has found itself
1182
01:11:47,057 --> 01:11:48,490
In an orbit around hell.
1183
01:11:48,492 --> 01:11:50,558
The underworld is hailing us.
1184
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:52,559
I know you.
1185
01:11:52,561 --> 01:11:54,028
Greetings, captain Roy.
1186
01:11:54,030 --> 01:11:56,263
Our remotes are synchronized,
1187
01:11:56,265 --> 01:11:58,732
So wherever you go, I go.
1188
01:11:58,734 --> 01:12:00,334
Enjoy the attack.
1189
01:12:02,271 --> 01:12:03,337
Lieutenant?
1190
01:12:03,339 --> 01:12:04,338
Captain?
1191
01:12:04,340 --> 01:12:08,374
G-g... Get us
out of here!
1192
01:12:08,376 --> 01:12:10,209
No!
1193
01:12:13,748 --> 01:12:15,915
Phasers on, uh...
1194
01:12:17,519 --> 01:12:19,118
Torture.
1195
01:12:24,224 --> 01:12:26,691
Holy Shatner!
1196
01:12:27,327 --> 01:12:29,361
And just to show you
how effective
1197
01:12:29,363 --> 01:12:31,163
Our passenger
restraint system really is,
1198
01:12:31,165 --> 01:12:33,799
Watch this demonstration
at 110 miles an hour,
1199
01:12:33,801 --> 01:12:36,534
Where our driver dummy
has the benefit
1200
01:12:36,536 --> 01:12:38,335
Of seat belt and air bag,
1201
01:12:38,337 --> 01:12:40,805
The other dummy
having neither one.
1202
01:12:40,807 --> 01:12:42,907
Neither one?
1203
01:12:43,709 --> 01:12:46,210
I can't watch.
Switch to mom.
1204
01:12:46,212 --> 01:12:47,678
Switch to mom!
1205
01:12:56,555 --> 01:12:58,721
Dad'll save her.
1206
01:13:03,628 --> 01:13:06,061
Aah!
1207
01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:18,173
Ooh. Rrr!
1208
01:13:21,644 --> 01:13:23,978
No! No, wait!
1209
01:13:25,248 --> 01:13:30,351
Aaaaaahhhhh!
1210
01:13:36,692 --> 01:13:40,360
Hey, lady, watch out!
1211
01:13:52,540 --> 01:13:54,039
Ooh.
1212
01:13:58,546 --> 01:13:59,578
Whoop.
1213
01:13:59,580 --> 01:14:02,114
Aah!
1214
01:14:11,258 --> 01:14:13,191
Yaaahhhh!
1215
01:14:13,994 --> 01:14:14,926
Whoa!
1216
01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:16,561
Unh! Ahh!
1217
01:14:16,563 --> 01:14:18,296
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
1218
01:14:18,298 --> 01:14:20,631
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
1219
01:14:20,633 --> 01:14:21,498
Where have you been?
1220
01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:23,600
♪ We've been waitin'
for you... ♪
1221
01:14:23,602 --> 01:14:27,404
Aaaaaahhhh!
1222
01:14:38,116 --> 01:14:39,015
My, my.
1223
01:14:39,017 --> 01:14:43,252
Now you'll never
get back to Kansas.
1224
01:14:45,390 --> 01:14:47,056
En garde.
1225
01:14:49,660 --> 01:14:50,926
Oh, no sword.
1226
01:14:50,928 --> 01:14:54,596
Have to talk to that prop man.
1227
01:15:04,907 --> 01:15:06,807
Right about now,
your wife is probably
1228
01:15:06,809 --> 01:15:10,311
Catching that train...
Right between the eyes.
1229
01:15:10,313 --> 01:15:13,147
And you let it happen.
1230
01:15:17,153 --> 01:15:19,285
Here it comes, dad!
1231
01:15:22,224 --> 01:15:24,190
I've taken loads of souls...
1232
01:15:24,192 --> 01:15:25,892
And none more pathetic
1233
01:15:25,894 --> 01:15:28,995
Than yours, Roy.
1234
01:15:32,234 --> 01:15:35,300
Say good night, Gracie.
1235
01:15:36,437 --> 01:15:38,487
Not yet.
1236
01:15:38,488 --> 01:15:40,538
You see, I was captain of my
junior college fencing team.
1237
01:15:40,541 --> 01:15:43,041
All right. Co-captain.
1238
01:15:51,317 --> 01:15:54,151
I gave you escape
from your pitiful life.
1239
01:15:54,153 --> 01:15:56,420
I want it back.
1240
01:15:56,990 --> 01:15:58,623
All sales are final.
1241
01:15:58,625 --> 01:16:00,458
Not this one.
1242
01:16:09,034 --> 01:16:10,700
♪ You got to start me ♪
1243
01:16:10,702 --> 01:16:12,402
♪ Up ♪
1244
01:16:13,538 --> 01:16:16,373
♪ Start me up ♪
1245
01:16:18,609 --> 01:16:20,843
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1246
01:16:20,845 --> 01:16:21,677
♪ Come down ♪
1247
01:16:21,679 --> 01:16:23,779
♪ The "s" to the a-I-t ♪
1248
01:16:23,781 --> 01:16:24,513
♪ Come down ♪
1249
01:16:24,515 --> 01:16:25,781
♪ The love to the b-u-g ♪
1250
01:16:25,783 --> 01:16:26,816
♪ Come down ♪
1251
01:16:26,817 --> 01:16:27,850
♪ The spin to the d-a-rella ♪
1252
01:16:27,852 --> 01:16:29,201
♪ Come down ♪
1253
01:16:29,202 --> 01:16:30,551
♪ S-t-double e-v-e in the "p" ♪
1254
01:16:30,554 --> 01:16:31,486
♪ Come down ♪
1255
01:16:31,488 --> 01:16:32,587
The "p" to the e-p-a ♪
1256
01:16:32,589 --> 01:16:34,189
♪ Come down ♪
1257
01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:35,790
♪ The idolmaker's
in the house, how ya know? ♪
1258
01:16:35,792 --> 01:16:36,691
♪ Come down ♪
1259
01:16:36,693 --> 01:16:37,892
♪ To the record lord ♪
1260
01:16:37,894 --> 01:16:39,210
♪ Come down ♪
1261
01:16:39,211 --> 01:16:40,527
♪ Wait a minute,
wait a minute, y'all ♪
1262
01:16:40,530 --> 01:16:42,630
♪ Let's get serious
for a minute ♪
1263
01:16:42,632 --> 01:16:43,598
♪ Y'all havin' fun? ♪
1264
01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:44,565
♪ I'm havin' fun,
everybody havin' fun ♪
1265
01:16:44,567 --> 01:16:46,833
♪ But you know those times ♪
1266
01:16:46,835 --> 01:16:48,168
♪ When you get stressed out ♪
1267
01:16:48,170 --> 01:16:50,070
♪ And you wanna
give up? ♪
1268
01:16:50,072 --> 01:16:52,606
♪ Everybody has a time
in their life ♪
1269
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:54,908
♪ When things doesn't
always go right ♪
1270
01:16:54,910 --> 01:16:57,878
♪ It just gets harder
every day ♪
1271
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,513
♪ And it makes you
wanna run away ♪
1272
01:16:59,515 --> 01:17:02,982
♪ Then I wonder
when it will end ♪
1273
01:17:02,984 --> 01:17:05,017
♪ Can I ever
be myself again? ♪
1274
01:17:05,019 --> 01:17:07,119
♪ Yo, I got hopes,
and I got trust ♪
1275
01:17:07,121 --> 01:17:09,555
♪ And I got you here
to start me up ♪
1276
01:17:09,557 --> 01:17:10,723
♪ I'm fed up, fed up ♪
1277
01:17:10,725 --> 01:17:11,957
♪ Word up, dead up ♪
1278
01:17:11,959 --> 01:17:13,225
♪ Gotta keep my head up ♪
1279
01:17:13,227 --> 01:17:14,493
♪ Don't stop or let up ♪
1280
01:17:14,495 --> 01:17:15,493
♪ You're sleepin', laid up ♪
1281
01:17:15,495 --> 01:17:17,529
♪ Time to get your bed made up ♪
1282
01:17:17,531 --> 01:17:18,363
♪ Always gonna lose it ♪
1283
01:17:18,365 --> 01:17:19,531
♪ Till your dues get paid up ♪
1284
01:17:19,533 --> 01:17:20,365
♪ Straight up, wait up ♪
1285
01:17:20,367 --> 01:17:21,599
♪ I'm not gamin' or bluffin' ♪
1286
01:17:21,601 --> 01:17:24,436
♪ Watch television
all day doin' nothing ♪
1287
01:17:24,438 --> 01:17:25,854
♪ Poisoning your liver ♪
1288
01:17:25,855 --> 01:17:27,271
♪ Looks like
you're ready to deliver ♪
1289
01:17:27,274 --> 01:17:29,107
♪ Yo, salt, I think
he gets the scissors ♪
1290
01:17:29,109 --> 01:17:31,608
♪ Start me up ♪
1291
01:17:31,610 --> 01:17:33,944
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1292
01:17:33,946 --> 01:17:35,946
♪ Start me up ♪
1293
01:17:36,248 --> 01:17:39,016
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1294
01:17:39,018 --> 01:17:40,951
♪ Start me up ♪
1295
01:17:40,953 --> 01:17:43,554
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1296
01:17:43,556 --> 01:17:46,489
♪ Start me up... ♪
1297
01:17:53,064 --> 01:17:55,598
♪ Start me up ♪
1298
01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:57,934
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1299
01:17:57,936 --> 01:17:59,901
♪ Start me up ♪
1300
01:17:59,903 --> 01:18:01,903
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1301
01:18:01,905 --> 01:18:04,072
♪ On the dial,
the people gonna fall off ♪
1302
01:18:04,074 --> 01:18:07,008
♪ The eeby deeby jam
coming at me, big mama ♪
1303
01:18:07,010 --> 01:18:08,009
♪ Stoppin' at the period ♪
1304
01:18:08,011 --> 01:18:09,678
♪ And pause upon the comma ♪
1305
01:18:09,680 --> 01:18:12,013
♪ The bis boom bit did
a drama for your fodda ♪
1306
01:18:12,015 --> 01:18:13,081
♪ Tell me, rough ♪
1307
01:18:13,083 --> 01:18:15,516
♪ Coach man workin' I'm stuck ♪
1308
01:18:15,518 --> 01:18:17,885
♪ De-man-a man-a lek-O lek-O ♪
1309
01:18:17,887 --> 01:18:20,287
♪ Fix the collar
on a world, rah ♪
1310
01:18:20,289 --> 01:18:22,456
♪ The microchips never fail me ♪
1311
01:18:22,458 --> 01:18:24,492
♪ Start me up ♪
1312
01:18:24,494 --> 01:18:26,861
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1313
01:18:26,863 --> 01:18:28,895
♪ Start me up ♪
1314
01:18:28,897 --> 01:18:31,030
♪ You got to start me ♪
1315
01:18:31,032 --> 01:18:31,765
♪ Up ♪
1316
01:18:31,767 --> 01:18:33,066
♪ Well, uh, well, uh ♪
1317
01:18:33,068 --> 01:18:34,167
♪ We-heh-heh-hell uh ♪
1318
01:18:34,169 --> 01:18:35,735
♪ You're caught in the rain ♪
1319
01:18:35,737 --> 01:18:36,970
♪ But you forgot your umbrella ♪
1320
01:18:36,972 --> 01:18:38,327
♪ What could you do ♪
1321
01:18:38,328 --> 01:18:39,683
♪ Punch-a-nella,
punch-a-nella? ♪
1322
01:18:39,684 --> 01:18:41,039
♪ You're trapped in a cage
like an ape called Magilla ♪
1323
01:18:41,042 --> 01:18:43,542
♪ And now you're ready
to throw in the towel ♪
1324
01:18:43,544 --> 01:18:44,510
♪ That's kinda foul ♪
1325
01:18:44,512 --> 01:18:45,611
♪ You don't give a hoot ♪
1326
01:18:45,613 --> 01:18:46,578
♪ Like a mute owl ♪
1327
01:18:46,580 --> 01:18:47,746
♪ That's not the way
I know you to be ♪
1328
01:18:47,748 --> 01:18:49,248
♪ You used to be true to me ♪
1329
01:18:49,250 --> 01:18:51,550
♪ Oo-ee, what you
used to do to me ♪
1330
01:18:51,552 --> 01:18:53,185
♪ Start me up ♪
1331
01:18:53,187 --> 01:18:56,121
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1332
01:18:56,123 --> 01:18:59,090
♪ Start me up... ♪
1333
01:18:59,092 --> 01:19:00,224
Wait.
1334
01:19:00,226 --> 01:19:02,193
OK. You got
the remote. You win.
1335
01:19:02,195 --> 01:19:04,162
But how about...
Just pitching here...
1336
01:19:04,164 --> 01:19:05,897
You and me working together?
1337
01:19:05,899 --> 01:19:08,366
We could come up with
dynamite programming.
1338
01:19:08,368 --> 01:19:09,500
Chairman'd love it.
1339
01:19:09,502 --> 01:19:11,202
Knock him off his hooves.
1340
01:19:11,204 --> 01:19:12,136
We'd be number one.
1341
01:19:12,138 --> 01:19:14,404
Of course, we are
the only one, but...
1342
01:19:14,406 --> 01:19:16,706
You don't get it, do you?
1343
01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:19,509
Without me, you
don't get out of here.
1344
01:19:19,511 --> 01:19:23,213
Sorry, spike.
You're canceled.
1345
01:19:26,718 --> 01:19:29,618
♪ You got to start me up ♪
1346
01:19:29,620 --> 01:19:31,887
♪ Start me up ♪
1347
01:19:31,889 --> 01:19:33,456
♪ You got to start me ♪
1348
01:19:33,458 --> 01:19:35,157
♪ Up ♪
1349
01:19:37,829 --> 01:19:39,361
Roy!
1350
01:19:40,164 --> 01:19:42,464
Deactivate escape frequencies.
1351
01:19:42,466 --> 01:19:43,932
What are you doing?
1352
01:19:43,934 --> 01:19:46,334
I've trapped them.
1353
01:19:57,947 --> 01:19:58,779
It's not working!
1354
01:19:58,781 --> 01:20:02,316
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
1355
01:20:03,986 --> 01:20:07,221
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
1356
01:20:07,223 --> 01:20:10,324
What do you do when you
want the TV to go away?
1357
01:20:10,326 --> 01:20:11,458
You turn it
1358
01:20:11,460 --> 01:20:12,992
Off!
1359
01:20:27,908 --> 01:20:29,708
We've lost them.
1360
01:20:29,710 --> 01:20:30,775
Helen...
1361
01:20:30,777 --> 01:20:32,644
We're home!
1362
01:20:32,646 --> 01:20:34,179
Kids!
1363
01:20:35,215 --> 01:20:36,481
Oh! Dad!
1364
01:20:36,483 --> 01:20:39,050
Oh! Oh!
1365
01:20:44,123 --> 01:20:47,491
Whoever left the gate open
is grounded for a week.
1366
01:20:54,934 --> 01:20:56,232
Check that.
1367
01:20:56,234 --> 01:21:00,937
Whoever left the gate open
gets double their allowance.
1368
01:21:03,041 --> 01:21:05,275
Look at that.
1369
01:21:26,195 --> 01:21:27,929
Wetzel!
1370
01:21:27,931 --> 01:21:30,631
Don't get me angry, you worm!
1371
01:21:30,633 --> 01:21:32,466
Get me out of here!
1372
01:21:32,468 --> 01:21:34,068
Put a lid on it, Fido.
1373
01:21:34,070 --> 01:21:36,137
OK, Pierce, what do you want?
1374
01:21:36,139 --> 01:21:37,872
Corner office?
Name on the door?
1375
01:21:37,874 --> 01:21:39,973
Hello, spike.
Heh heh.
1376
01:21:39,975 --> 01:21:41,575
Crowley.
1377
01:21:43,779 --> 01:21:46,446
You know,
you're a gentleman and a scholar...
1378
01:21:46,448 --> 01:21:47,414
A fine corporate asset...
1379
01:21:47,416 --> 01:21:50,283
A man who I, personally,
like very much.
1380
01:21:50,285 --> 01:21:54,820
Oh, incidentally, spike,
nice of you to drop in.
1381
01:21:54,822 --> 01:21:57,089
Ha ha ha ha...
1382
01:21:57,091 --> 01:22:00,292
Ah... That's funny.
1383
01:22:00,995 --> 01:22:02,461
Ah!
1384
01:22:02,463 --> 01:22:03,862
Aah!
1385
01:22:07,501 --> 01:22:10,368
I get his parking space.
1386
01:22:10,804 --> 01:22:13,271
So what can I tell you?
1387
01:22:13,273 --> 01:22:14,539
My parents got back together.
1388
01:22:14,541 --> 01:22:18,109
The only TV my dadwatches is 60 minutes,
1389
01:22:18,111 --> 01:22:19,577
And he started a new job.
1390
01:22:19,579 --> 01:22:23,247
I guess you could call us
a pretty normal family.
1391
01:22:23,249 --> 01:22:27,317
That's if anything
is ever normal.
1392
01:22:27,319 --> 01:22:29,686
Who on earth taught you that?
1393
01:22:29,688 --> 01:22:31,755
Uh, I saw it on TV somewhere.
1394
01:22:31,757 --> 01:22:33,490
Some old movie.
1395
01:22:33,491 --> 01:22:35,224
Take my advice, kiddo.
Don't watch too much TV.
1396
01:22:35,227 --> 01:22:37,461
It can get you into trouble.
1397
01:22:37,463 --> 01:22:39,762
OK, fencers.
Class dismissed.
1398
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:03,585
♪ Me and that dude is talkin' ♪
1399
01:23:05,222 --> 01:23:07,088
♪ Baby, I just love your body ♪
1400
01:23:07,090 --> 01:23:09,790
♪ Can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ♪
1401
01:23:09,792 --> 01:23:11,925
♪ Baby, we don't need no party ♪
1402
01:23:11,927 --> 01:23:14,061
♪ You can taste it
if you don't like to talk ♪
1403
01:23:14,063 --> 01:23:16,363
♪ I used to have a woman
who was so shy ♪
1404
01:23:16,365 --> 01:23:18,632
♪ Never spoke about
what she desired ♪
1405
01:23:18,634 --> 01:23:20,801
♪ Now the door is open,
it's open wide ♪
1406
01:23:20,803 --> 01:23:23,403
♪ Take a little peek
and find what's inside ♪
1407
01:23:23,405 --> 01:23:25,338
♪ Baby, I just love your body ♪
1408
01:23:25,340 --> 01:23:27,807
♪ Can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ♪
1409
01:23:27,809 --> 01:23:30,176
♪ Hey there, we don't
need no party ♪
1410
01:23:30,178 --> 01:23:33,880
♪ You can taste it,
if you want ♪
1411
01:23:50,531 --> 01:23:52,730
♪ Baby, I just love your body ♪
1412
01:23:52,732 --> 01:23:55,366
♪ Can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ♪
1413
01:23:55,368 --> 01:23:57,334
♪ Baby, we don't need no party ♪
1414
01:23:57,336 --> 01:23:59,637
♪ You can taste it
if you don't like to talk ♪
1415
01:23:59,639 --> 01:24:02,006
♪ Used to have a woman
who was so shy ♪
1416
01:24:02,008 --> 01:24:04,275
♪ Never spoke about
what she desired ♪
1417
01:24:04,277 --> 01:24:06,510
♪ Now the door is open,
it's open wide ♪
1418
01:24:06,512 --> 01:24:08,912
♪ Take a little peek
and find what's inside ♪
1419
01:24:08,914 --> 01:24:10,947
♪ Baby, I just love your body ♪
1420
01:24:10,949 --> 01:24:13,616
♪ Can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ♪
1421
01:24:13,618 --> 01:24:15,819
♪ Baby, we don't need no party ♪
1422
01:24:15,821 --> 01:24:19,089
♪ You can taste that,
if you want ♪
1423
01:24:31,569 --> 01:24:34,203
Captioning made possible by
Warner bros. Inc.
1424
01:24:34,205 --> 01:24:37,438
Captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.
1425
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,741
Captions copyright 1992
Morgan creek productions, inc.
1426
01:24:39,743 --> 01:24:44,912
Public performance of captions prohibited without
permission of national captioning institute
1427
01:24:46,950 --> 01:24:49,183
♪ do you want it? ♪
1428
01:24:58,193 --> 01:25:00,694
♪ Do you want it? ♪
1429
01:25:12,740 --> 01:25:14,874
♪ Do you want it? ♪
1430
01:25:21,381 --> 01:25:23,782
♪ Do you want it? ♪
1431
01:26:02,887 --> 01:26:05,320
♪ Do you want it? ♪
1432
01:26:06,156 --> 01:26:09,724
♪ Do you... do
you want it? ♪
1433
01:26:11,962 --> 01:26:14,396
♪ Do you want it? ♪
1434
01:26:15,999 --> 01:26:17,799
♪ Moon's out tonight ♪
1435
01:26:17,801 --> 01:26:21,869
♪ The doctor's takin' a walk ♪
1436
01:26:22,371 --> 01:26:25,239
♪ Awoo ♪
1437
01:26:26,542 --> 01:26:28,809
♪ The mic stalker ♪
1438
01:26:35,116 --> 01:26:36,950
♪ Some dame did me wrong,
and I admit it ♪
1439
01:26:36,952 --> 01:26:38,551
♪ My temper was a fuse,
and you just lit it ♪
1440
01:26:38,553 --> 01:26:40,753
♪ And made me right
that on a Saturday night ♪
1441
01:26:40,755 --> 01:26:42,355
♪ That I bit it,
the price is death ♪
1442
01:26:42,357 --> 01:26:43,623
♪ This is a row,
the fight for right ♪
1443
01:26:43,625 --> 01:26:45,592
♪ Don't get hyped
this is my knife strike ♪
1444
01:26:45,594 --> 01:26:46,793
♪ No nob, no gun ♪
1445
01:26:46,794 --> 01:26:47,993
♪ Took my vocals
through the mic ♪
1446
01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:49,192
♪ It's cold so I pack it
in my jacket at night ♪
1447
01:26:49,196 --> 01:26:51,363
♪ Hey, I live by my mic
and die by my mic ♪
1448
01:26:51,365 --> 01:26:53,048
♪ No, I live to exist ♪
1449
01:26:53,049 --> 01:26:54,732
♪ And I never bid
on the great ride to hitch ♪
1450
01:26:54,735 --> 01:26:55,934
♪ And while you're dying ♪
1451
01:26:55,936 --> 01:26:57,502
♪ Your son is cryin',
beggin' and yellin' ♪
1452
01:26:57,504 --> 01:26:58,570
♪ Will I give you
pity? Hah! ♪
1453
01:26:58,572 --> 01:26:59,872
♪ Never would I with all
the trouble I'm in ♪
1454
01:26:59,874 --> 01:27:01,974
♪ Until the devil eat heart out
cause I'm hotter than him ♪
1455
01:27:01,976 --> 01:27:04,242
♪ The other day kid was rockin'
on the corner alone ♪
1456
01:27:04,244 --> 01:27:05,843
♪ And I was stroking
my microphone ♪
1457
01:27:05,845 --> 01:27:07,879
♪ I heard him reciting
somebody's record that was sold ♪
1458
01:27:07,881 --> 01:27:10,081
♪ Though he was five years old
I had to adjust some more ♪
1459
01:27:10,083 --> 01:27:12,149
♪ Teach him a lesson
no matter what the age ♪
1460
01:27:12,151 --> 01:27:14,252
♪ I'm on a rampage
on and off the stage ♪
1461
01:27:14,254 --> 01:27:15,453
♪ You wanna copy
of my record? ♪
1462
01:27:15,455 --> 01:27:16,888
♪ This is what you do ♪
1463
01:27:16,889 --> 01:27:18,321
♪ Go to the precinct,
and they'll give you a few ♪
1464
01:27:18,323 --> 01:27:21,558
♪ The mic stalker,
stalker, stalker ♪
1465
01:27:26,164 --> 01:27:28,431
♪ I got a natural gift,
I don't sniff ♪
1466
01:27:28,433 --> 01:27:30,233
♪ For a little lift, boy,
my mother woulda whipped ♪
1467
01:27:30,235 --> 01:27:33,068
♪ I got accused when my mother gave
me, never gave me dope ♪
1468
01:27:33,070 --> 01:27:34,803
♪ To coke, she say,
just say no ♪
1469
01:27:34,805 --> 01:27:36,705
♪ It's criminal or premature ♪
1470
01:27:36,707 --> 01:27:38,607
♪ It's premeditated literature ♪
1471
01:27:38,609 --> 01:27:42,444
♪ The mic stalker,
stalker, stalker ♪
99595
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof