All language subtitles for The.Osbournes.Want.To.Believe.S01E02.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.x264-BOOP.pt-br

Could somebody get sharon?
What's she doing, jack?

She is coming down
right now.

Noon means 12:00, doesn't it?
Not a quarter past.

You're the one who's supposed
to be the rock star

and make people wait.

If I'm told 12:00,
I'm ready at [bleep] 11:30.

I hate being late
for anything.

Always have done.

Get your arse down here.

Jack: We may be
the first family of darkness,

but not all of us are true
believers in the paranormal.

They want to believe.

Has a ghost ever been
caught on film?
Yes.

Man: Whoa! What the --
and I have the evidence
that will blow their minds.

[ ozzy laughing maniacally ]

I think you're starting
to believe.

Seeing is believing.

Man: Whoa.
What is happening?

[ screams ]

oh, god, no.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

how we feeling?
Good. Ready for this.

Alright.
Hi, guys.

Alright, so,
this first clip --

I don't know
if you've seen this.

You know the dome of the rock
in israel?

A ufo hovered above it.

Was it a jewish ufo?

It looked like
a star of david.
Star of david.

Now I believe.
Come on, let's see.
Alright.

Was it a jewish alien?
Eee...

Did he have a yarmulke on?
[ chuckles ]

let the record show
that my mother is jewish.

Good thing you guys
are of the age...

[laughing] where people just
assume you're just crazy.

[indistinct]
"you are at the age."

[bleep] hell.

Hey, I'm old.
I'm getting gray hair.

Listen,
I've got an ex-wife,

a mortgage, three kids,
and ms.

I'm like 70.

Okay, I got an ex-wife,
three kids, gray hair-

oh, what the [bleep],
the ex-wife?

She's [bleep] dead.

Oh, calm down.
No, she's not.

I could kill you,
trying to pull rank with me.

Okay.
[ chuckles ]

but then again,
I have an ex-wife,

you have a wife.

Oh.
[ chuckles ]

but I got it right
the second time.

You ain't got there yet.
Yeah. Yeah!

Yes. Hey --

let's [bleep] get on
with these ufos and-

are you gonna start blinking
morse code in a second,

like a --
"help. Help."

what's distress?

Alright, let's go.

Ufo at the
dome of the rock.

Jack:
So in 2011, an israeli man
noticed this strange light

hovering over
the dome of the rock,

which is an islamic
shrine in jerusalem.

Star of david.
It's christmas eve.

Now watch the light.

Man: Whoa! [ laughs ]

♪♪

and then look, it leaves
these weird blinking lights

in its wake.
Weird, huh?

Hold on. Hold on.

Did you just see that?
Let's see it again.

You want to see it again?

Oh, yeah.
Star of david.

See -- arrow?

See, I believe it's real
'cause that arrow...

♪♪

"it's going down."

no, it ain't.
Planet's going up.

[ laughs ]

-watch.
-Whoa! [ laughs ]

♪♪

but when you think about it --

and I was saying yesterday,

how come that we never hear
about aliens

before the last century?

You did!
No, listen.

With the green --
no, listen, let me finish.

Back in the day,
when jesus was born...

Uh-huh.

...Three wise men...
Uh-huh.

...Followed a star.
It could've been an alien.

It could've been an alien!
They were following a ufo.

This is an ancient
alien theory that they --
is it?

Following a ufo.
Yeah, they think that
that could've been...

I don't know exactly what it is,
but there was some --

and jesus might've been
a descendant from an alien.
An alien!

Could've been.
Yeah.

How would you have responded
if you had seen that?

I would've thought
he should come back.

I would say...

It's the messiah coming

'cause my people have been
waiting for the messiah.

I would've thought
that was the messiah.

Yeah. I agree.
That's what I just said.

Mm-hmm.
Hmm. Okay.

On the woogie boogie scale,
where would you rate it?

7 1/2 out of 10.

8.
8? Huh.

Okay.
Let's move on, then.

So I'm assuming the schools
you guys went to in England

were very old, right?
Excuse me?

Well, no, 'cause it's England,
and you guys were in the --

hey, I was at a cutting-edge,
new-world school.

Yeah, in like 1862.
[ chuckling ]

and what's that got to do
with it?

Did you ride there
on horseback?
I'll have you know...

Carriage.

...We had
discipline at our school.

Yes, and look
how you turned out.

Look, well, I made a lot
of money in my life.

We used to get caned
every day.

They used to discipline
the [bleep] out of you.

This is by far
one of my favorite clips.

This is from a school
in ireland,

and they set up
security cameras in the school,

and it caught some
really interesting stuff.

But what is it?
Poltergeist, aliens?

It's definitely poltergeist,
and then --

we're going back
to my people.

You're irish, yes.
Mm-hmm.

I love ireland.
I think ireland's [bleep] great.

They say ireland used
to be very much like
England used to be.

I think I'd like to move
to ireland.

No, you wouldn't.
You can [bleep] off on your own.

You know dublin's

the fastest-growing
city in europe, right?
Who?

Dublin.
Dublin.

Yeah, 'cause it keeps doublin'
and doublin' and doublin'.

Oh, for [bleep] sake.
Very expensive now.

Dad joke!
[ laughs ]

god...
Check it out.

Corny old [bleep].

Jack: So this is deerpark
christian brother's school,

and it's in the city of cork,
in ireland.

And late one night
in October 2017,

this is what the security
cameras picked up in the school.

♪♪

watch the back door.

♪♪

♪♪

okay, now watch
the lockers.

♪♪

wow.

♪♪

that's [bleep] radical.

Just wait.

Wow.

♪♪

alright, here's
the second hallway.

Now watch the chair
behind the date and time stamp.

♪♪

floating up the wall.

What?

Chair floated
up the wall.

Jack:
So the school administration
reviewed all the footage

and they found no evidence
of this being a setup.

♪♪

that's [bleep].

♪♪

♪♪

well, I believe that.

Isn't that some of
the coolest footage?

That is pretty convincing.

I mean,
that's, hands down,

some of the coolest stuff
I've ever seen.

I want to go
and investigate that school.

Oh, really?
Yeah.

What, in ireland?

There's a lot of ghosts
around ireland.

That would be a good place
to go ghost hunting.

In ireland?
It would be.

England and ireland
have great stuff.

Well, that's
what we should do.

Take this on the road?

I'd like to go to ireland,
ghost hunting.

What would you say,
on the woogie boogie scale,

where would you put
the irish school?

1 being the least scary,
10 being the most.

Where would you
categorize this clip?

High score.
Way up there.

Yeah, I'd put that
on like a 9 or a 10.

If that.
The only thing I would say --

8. 8.
Actually, I would say 8 1/2,
to be honest with you.

The only way that
I would say more

is if it
actually captured

an actual apparition
on camera.

If you could physically see
what was doing it,

that wasn't alive,

that would be concerning.

Has a ghost ever been
caught on film?
Yes.

Well, we're going
to see some stuff.

Oh, we are?
Yeah.

Oh, today?
Yeah.

What do you think
a ghost looks like?

It's a presence.

I think you feel a ghost

more than you actually
see a ghost.

I mean, you get a feeling
that people says,

"something walked
straight through me."

that would scare me more
than if I saw a shadow.

[ sharon and jack laugh ]

have you guys ever had any
weird experiences at a hotel?

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

let me rephrase that.

Did it smell of urine?

No, 'cause it's just
abandoned and old.

It's not like there's people
still pissing everywhere.

[ laughs ]

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

rocky is the star
of the show now.

This guy is the best dude.

He gets fan mail.

Pictures of girls.

That dog looks like
a muppet.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

have you guys ever been
to the biltmore hotel?

Yes, yes.
Oh, you have?

Where is it?
San francisco.

No.
[ buzzer ]

it's in providence,
rhode island -- biltmore.

I was just
in rhode island.

That's your heritage.

My heritage is from there.
Let's have a look.

This could be one
of your ancestors.

My ancestors went from ireland
to rhode island.

Hello.
Yeah, I'm listening.

Alright.
Just telling you.
Wow.

But I don't think they went
to the biltmore hotel.

No, I highly doubt it.

Jack: Here it is,
the biltmore hotel.

Now, this place has been open
since 1922.

You were there
when it opened, right?

So there was a speakeasy
here during prohibition,

and supposedly people have
performed satanic rituals there.

There we even several murders

that have been committed
in the hotel,

and some of these stories
about this place

inspired "the shining"
and "psycho."

I've heard of this.

I know we have.

Jack: So in October of 2018,
this guy named jack stephens

stayed at the biltmore hotel,

and he took this really
creepy video.

Stephens: This is my hotel room
in the providence biltmore.

This is room 1102.

And they say that this hotel
is a little bit haunted.

The overhead light in my room

has been flicking
on and off by itself,

so I thought that
I'd better get it on video.

♪♪

there it goes.
Did you see that?

♪♪

I'm the only one in this room,

and this is the light switch
over here at the back.

As you can see, it is clearly
in the off position right now.

Okay, so I don't know
how it is doing this.

♪♪

holy [bleep].

♪♪

so, okay.
Who was that guy?

He was just some guy
checking out the haunted hotel.

Okay.

Well, that I wasn't
very impressive.

He wasn't
like a professional?

I don't think he was
a professional ghost hunter,

not unlike myself.

[ chuckling ]
no, an expert in this.
[ chuckles ]

[ upper-crust accent ] an expert
in paranormal matters.

It could've been a draft,
or something from...

Or could it be paranormal?

This place definitely
screams creepy.

Have you guys ever had any weird
experiences at a hotel?

Yeah. [ chuckles ]
[ production crew laughs ]

what?
Let me rephrase that.

Have you ever had any ghostly
experiences at a hotel?

No.
Not ghostly, but strange.

So, that clip with the light
moving in the hotel room.

We had a similar experience
while we were filming

"portals to hell"
at eastern state penitentiary,

where dad,
you've been to.

Remember the museum,

the old prison in philadelphia
we went to?
Yes.

Yep, I went back there.

We were in a section,
which was the death row wing,

and a light above my head
started to swing.

Very [bleep]
weird in that place.

Wasn't it?

Damned [bleep] evil.

This place was [bleep]
terrifying.
Really?

Oh, the place really
freaked me out.

The worst place
you've ever been?

In the top five,
for sure.

We can give it a look.

♪♪

I'm kind of dreading
going back up to death row.

It's an intense hum of energy.

It freaks me out.

This place is like
[bleep] evil.

♪♪

I feel like everything
in me's like,

"just leave. Just leave.
Just leave."

I think there's something
up here,

and I don't think...

Call it spider sense-y,
I don't know, but it's saying,

"just get the [bleep]
out of here.

Just get out of here."

I have felt...

Like something...

♪♪

that just started moving behind
your head.
Yeah, it did.

What is it?
Look at that light, just started
swinging above my head.

Oh, I'd be, "see ya."
yep.

Why that just start moving?

Producer: I have no idea.
Makes no sense.

And you didn't hear gust of wind
come through,

and look,
and now it's stopped.

And now it's stopping.

♪♪

I'm getting the [bleep]
out of here.

♪♪

I hate that place.

I mean, I saw
a shadow figure there.

But you know,
you know what it is?

You're in a [bleep] place
which was a [bleep] old prison.

You know nothing good
went on in there.

Yeah.

So it could be your own
instinct that's telling...

Especially knowing that
like 1,000 people died
in that building.

Really?
Yeah.

Were they hung
or electrocuted there or both?

They were just
housed there.

No killings there?
No, but --

why 1,000 people dead, then?
Over the time?

Over the time
of tuberculosis outbreak...

Oh, okay.
...Cholera,
all these weird --

'cause it's one of the oldest
penitentiaries in the --

it's actually the oldest
penitentiary in the country.

Would you ever spend the night
in si-- not sing sing.

What was
the place in san francisco?

Alcatraz.
Alcatraz.
Alcatraz.

Yeah, I would because

I really want to go
do an investigation there.

You would spend
the night?
Yes.

But at eastern state,
I wouldn't.

Did it smell of urine?

No, 'cause it's just
abandoned and old.

It's not like there's people
still pissing everywhere.

[ laughing ]

do you want to hear one theory
about bigfoot?

They think
they could be aliens.

They have
a biomechanical space suit

to be on
earth's environment.

I think
this is a crock of [bleep].

Have you guys ever seen
any weird creatures?

Like in England,
they've got in the moors

with the black dogs,
the black cat on the moor.

Nah.
Have you guys
ever seen any of that?

Mnh-mnh.
No.

No.
Only me.

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

hey, how's it going?
It's jack osbourne

as well as...

Ozzy osbourne
and sharon osbourne.

Mrs. Osbourne.

And we are
coming to you from --

hold on. Pickles.

Oh, and pickles.
Terrifying.

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

okay, so, here we are,
me trying to convince you

that the world
is not as it seems.

Are you guys ready
to become believers?

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Okay, I'm gonna try...
[ laughs ]

you guys
are gonna love this.
Is this "harry
and the handersons?"

no, this is an aswang.

What? What?
In aswang.

What the [bleep]
is an aswang?

It's a creature --
allow me to read.

A-s-s-w-o-n-g?

No, it's a-s-w-a-n-g.
Aswang.

As-wang.

I'm gonna have a good-old
aswang tonight.
[ laughs ]

it's some kind
of demonic entity

that is known
to hang out in asia.

You don't say ass-wong?

An ass-wong?
No.

An arse-wipe.

Okay, so this aswang
appears to be a human at first,

but it's some kind of
demonic entity.

[bleep],
and I should know all this.

I used to play in a band
called black sabbath.

This is your fault.

I bet you have
a lot of aswang fans.

And it's in asia?

Yes, the philippines.
It's like a shape-shifting

demonic entity
that torments people.

That's the theory.
That's the myth behind it.
Oh, I know a few of them.

Okay, so it's their
version of a ghost?

Yeah, just say yeah...

No, it's more
of a cryptid.

Alright.
"aswang through gate."

[ laughs ]

jack: So this is in June of 2019
in the philippines,

and these two guys are watching
the security camera

outside of their apartment
building.

It's like 1:00 in the morning,

and then you see
this amorphous gray figure.

It literally looks like
it's walking through the gate.

Wow.

And then it turns into something
that looks like a human.

Let's see it again.

♪♪

how [bleep]
weird is that?

You know what I think
that is?
What?

It's a double exposure.

It's filmed on top of
a film or [gibberish].

Look at the size of his
[indistinct].

But it's behind the fence, and
then it comes through the fence

like it's the [bleep]
terminator.

Double exposing.
It's like on a loop.

It's every 24 hours he films,
and after so many times

the impression of the first
one goes onto the second one.

I don't think
he looks asian.

[ laughing ] I don't.

I'm gonna buy you
a [bleep] bag of weed.

He's not supposed to.
He's supposed to look filipino.

You know what?

[ chuckling ]
I hate you both.

[ laughs ]

so aswang or ass-right?
[ rim shot ]

oh, I think it's a camera thing.

I don't think
that's [bleep]...

You think it's just
some kind of glitch.

I just think it's
an american tourist

that's been out drinking
late at night.

And walks through
a [bleep] fence?

Well, it all depends
on what you're drinking.

Moving on.
Right.

Alright, so this clip,
it's a bigfoot clip.

It's from russia.
These hunters were driving --

in siberia --
were driving down --
hang on.

How many of [bleep]
things are there?
Supposedly a lot.

Do you want to hear one theory
about bigfoot?

They think
they could be aliens

and that's their
space suit

to be on
earth's environment.
Oh.

They have
a biomechanical space suit

that has fur
and all this.

No, no, no, no.

They're little green men.
But they could be big.

We have tall people here.

Think about...
7'4".

But if you've been traveling
across the [bleep] universe --

...Like basketball players
and very tall people.

There could be
tall aliens.

I think this is a crock
of [bleep].

Hmm.
Well, this is interesting.
Okay, moving right on.

Watch.

Jack: So, these guys are driving
the back roads of siberia

one night in 2016.

Jack:
It's for sure lucky they had
their dashboard camera going

because nobody
would've believed them.

[ men speaking in russian ]

ozzy: That ain't
a [bleep] moose, [bleep].

Looks like a big man.

Yeah. Bigfoot.

I don't think it's bigfoot.

There was something
running with it, though.

Let's see.

♪♪

no, that's the snow.
Oh, the snow
coming up, yeah.

That's a big...Thing.

I mean, it didn't look like
a bear to me.

Didn't move like a bear.

No, I mean, it's running.
It's bipedal.

It looks like a person.

I don't think it's
a [bleep] alien, anyway.

I don't believe you.

I think it's probably some guy
running across the [bleep] road.

How would you respond if you
were driving and you saw that?

I'd be perturbed.

Perturbed?
Mm-hmm.

Have you guys ever seen
any weird creatures?

Like in England,
they've got in the moors

with the black dogs,
the black cat on the moor.

Nah.
Have you guys ever seen
any of that?

Mnh-mnh.
No.

No.
Only me.

No pukwudgies?
What?

Pukwudgie.
What's a pukwudgie?

Pukwudgie
are like gnomes.

I wish I did.
I'd love to see them.

They eat strawberries.

Stop it.
No, they do.
Yeah, if you want to lure in

a pukwudgie,
you leave out strawberries.

Are they irish?
No, they're
native american.

They're like the native american
gnome-elf thing.

What are they?
They wear pointy hats.

What are they?
Why do
little people wear --

what are they?!
Pukwudgies.

They're like little gnomes.
They're like garden gnomes.

I've never heard of it.
It's a
native american myth,

and they eat
strawberries.

They're actually
my favorite mythical creature.

There seems to be a lot of
things going on the planet

that people never really see.

There must be a [bleep] big
place that we don't know about

where they all hang out.

Well, that's
the hollow earth theory.

Oh, [bleep] god.
Hollow earth.

Where would you rate that
on the woogie boogie?

-2.
-No. 4.

Yeah, I'm about
a four on it

'cause it could've been
a person.

It could've been a person
with big snow clothes on,

and just, yeah.

Alrighty. Moving on.

This house here,
what we live in now,

I get some peculiar feelings
in this [bleep] house.

Oh, really?
Really do.

I think something heavy's
happened in this house.

Something like a murder
or something bad.

[bleep] this place.

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

I'm think I'm gonna be asleep
in 10 minutes.

Do you want a coffee?

Yes.

[ laughter ]

[ slurping, gulping ]

[ gulping continues ]

[ bleep ]
oh, my god.

Gulp, gulp -- you're gonna just
take a massive [bleep] now.

Ahh...
[ laughter ]

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

alright, so, remember
how you were asking

has anyone ever actually
captured on camera a ghost?
Right.

This is considered some of
the best footage

of that exact thing.

This next clip
is a security guard

at a nursing home
in chicago.

It's quite fascinating.

We're watching a ghost?
Ghost caught on camera,

or a strange...

Well, you'll just see.
Happening.

It's odd, for sure.

Jack: Okay, so, the security
guard is on the night shift

at a nursing home.

Alright,
watch the carpet.

You see that white thing?
That white --

what white thing?
The carpet.
Look at the carpet.

Oh, yeah.

Watch.
Look at this white wisp.

It's a [bleep] thing
on lens or something.

Okay, but look.
Look at this guy's reaction.

He's like,
"what in the [bleep] was that?"

no, it's just a [bleep]
reflection.

It's...Not a [bleep] ghost.

♪♪

he just farted.
It's probably from that.

Alright, so then
there's another one of that.

Another camera?
There's three parts

'cause it happened
three times to this guy

in three different
occasions.

This same security guard?
You know, it's called
smoking the ganja.

Look.

He's smoking ganja.

♪♪

see, night watchman smoke ganja
behind the desk.

♪♪

nah, that's smoke.
Saw it again,
different clip.

Watch him.
Look, he's like --
no, no.

No, no.

♪♪

I don't be--

it's his reaction
which gets me.

I don't...

And then,
last but not least.

I mean,
if that was a ghost,

I wouldn't do
the sign of the cross.

I'd get the [bleep]
out of there.

Well, he's got a job to do.
He got to protect

the good people
of that nursing home.
Yeah.

I'm not buying
this one at all.

Okay, but what about
the third time he sees it?

Nope. Nope.
Do you believe that?

Look.

♪♪

♪♪

alright, where's that for you
on the woogie boogie scale?

1.

Mom?

3.
Alright.

If it's not a ghost, what do
you think it could it be?

Shadow.

Okay.

Or something on the lens.

Steam?

What?
No.

Condensation?
No.

Just a dodgy lens.

So you think there's
nothing there

and he's just
[bleep] around?

No, it could've been a shadow.

He could've broke wind.

No.

Have you ever farted and
actually seen the cloud of fart?

Do you know something.
Oh, here we go.

No, hold on.
When I was at school --

do you remember
this school teacher that I had

at first school,
like nursery school?
No.

It was ms. Mayhew.
The woman that was a baby

on the titanic
that survived, okay.
Yes, yes.

She had a bulldog
called dinah...
Mm-hmm.

...And she was really,
really big bulldog...

[laughing] and this one guy
that was in a class with me,

he goes, "ms. Mayhew,

I just saw
a big, green cloud

come out
of dinah's bum."

nah, his second name was mite.
Dyna-mite.

His arse exploded.
[ chuckling ]

so, do you believe
the 6-year-old child

that claims to have seen
a big, green gaseous cloud?

Yeah.

Why would he say that?

'cause he smokes the same
cigarette that you were smoking.

'cause he's
a 6-year-old boy

and thinks farts are funny.
[ chuckles ]

have you met my kids?

All they do
is talk about farts.

So, what do you think
a ghost would look like

if that's not what
a ghost looks like?

It wouldn't surprise me

if a spirit
or whatever was like that.

So it's not in
the human form, yeah.

Like a gaseous cloud.
Okay, a shadow.

Yeah, I see
what you're saying.

Why couldn't that be
light shadows?

Why do shadows
always have to be black?

The notion of a shadow,
it's bending...

Light is bending around you,
that's creating a shadow.

What they say
about your soul, right?

Your soul, you can't find it
if you open someone up, so...

Was that a hospital?

No, it's
a nursing home.

That might be a soul,
not a ghost.

Yeah.
I just said that!

[ laughs ]
I mean,
that's what I'm saying.

Thank you.

Okay, I didn't come up
with the idea.

My wife did.
She's the scientist

of the family.
She came up with the --

you see, sharon said
it's a soul, not a ghost.

From egypt.
I was just referring
her discovery

that mankind now
understands about ghosts.

It's souls.

Arse-[bleep].

[ laughter ]

so, this is weird.

This is captured on
someone's ring doorbell camera.

Apparently she hears
someone in the vicinity

screaming for help.

Jack: So, this happened in
houston in the summer of 2019.

See? Stoned.

You can tell by the way
they're walking.

Woman:
What the [bleep]?

[ indistinct sounds ]

what am I supposed
to be watching now?

[ sounds continue ]

jack: You can hear someone say,
"help me, help me."

listen again.

A tortured voice seems
to be begging for help.

[ sounds continue ]

she can't see
where it's coming from,

so she starts
freaking out...

...And then decides
to call the police.

♪♪

she plays them
the footage.

[ indistinct sounds ]

the cops search the place
and find nobody.

♪♪

listen one more time.

[ indistinct sounds ]

see, that frightened me
more than anything.

Really?
Yeah, that frightened me.

Why?
I don't know.

Just the way it was.
The way it sounded.

Just hearing someone go,
"[ faintly ] please. Help me."
what was she saying?

Have you ever thought
you've heard someone talking?

In the '70s, I used to hear
that all the time.

Yeah?
In the hotel rooms?
Yeah.

No, I haven't heard
anything like that.
You've never heard?

You never thought
you heard anything?
No.

Now that clip,
on the woogie boogie scale,

where would you rate it?

1.
1 for you?

5.
5 for mum. Okay.

This house here,
what we live in now.

I get some peculiar feelings
in this [bleep] house.

Oh, really?
Really do.

Like where?

Tell him, mum.
Oh, yeah.

He woke up saying
that there was...

A figure in the bedroom,

and he could see somebody
in the bedroom.

I said, "you know what, hon?
I think someone --

something heavy's happened
in this house."

something like a murder
or something bad.

Could you see it?
No!

And he said, "look, look,
they're over there."

I'm like,
"no, nobody there."

[bleep] this place.

♪♪

jackie,
can you take pebbles,

'cause pebbles
is the one that --

pickles.
Pickles, sorry.

Pebbles.
What the [bleep] am I on?

Pebbles?
Calling my pickles --
I'm sorry, pickles.

Pebbles was my dog.
Come here pickles.
I'm sorry.

Now listen, you.
You can't come down here.

'cause you're too gorgeous.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Do you want to start,
or you want to wait?

I'm getting ready to start.

Mufon, which is
the mutual ufo network,

investigated this.

Who runs that network?
I don't know.

It's a collective
of paranormal investigators.

A guy called spock.

You noticed when they all
first saw the alien --

he had the big eye,
little mouth, little nose --

then everybody else saw one.

Now he's balls of light
in the [bleep] sky.

But everyone's
reporting him.

Now he's the balls.

It's the balls.
Balls of light.

Great balls of fire.
[ laughing ] balls.

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

look at bella.
Bella's just old, and...

Bella comes from chernobyl.

She's just
holding on to life.

Look at her arse.

It looks like a [bleep].

She looks like a chicken.
Little radioactive
arse-[bleep].

Like a chicken you'd buy
at the grocery store.

When she's backing up, I thought
she was gonna take a dump on me.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

this is another
ufo encounter.

Mufon, which is
the mutual ufo network,

investigated this.

Who runs that network?
I don't know.

It's a collective
of paranormal investigators.

A guy called spock.

[ chuckling ]

jack:
This is in portland, oregon.

So, this group of friends
are hanging out

in September of 2014,
when they see this.

Man:
Yo, what is that?

Man: It's so close!

[bleep], dude!

-What the [bleep]?
-That's awesome.

Dude, is that?

There's like five things, bros.
I don't even --

no, I think that's a [bleep]
reflection off a window.

Jack: Inside their house?
Yep.

They're looking out a window
that's got a...

-They are stopping.
-No way.

No.

Man: Bro, it just stopped.
What the [bleep]?

It's called
a [bleep] window.

Jack:
Now they're forming a pattern.

-[ bleep ]
-kay, you're about to be

anal probed, son.
-[ chuckles ]

not even kidding, bro.

To me, it looks like
a [bleep] re--

man: Bro, I just want to go up
to it and see what it is.
Hell no!

Jack:
These guys ended up handing
the footage off to mufon,

and so far the ufo experts
have come up

with no logical explanation
from the recording.

That's some alien
[bleep].

Now that clip,
where would you rate it

on the
woogie boogie scale?

3.
3?

I put it at a 7.

5.
5? Okay.

If it's not a ufo,
what do you think it is?

You think it was --
reflection of a window.

So, they're filming
out of a window,

and they're catching
reflections behind them?

Yeah. [indistinct]
the reflection

on the [indistinct]
could be a wet window.

Okay.
That explains a bit of --

I thought
it was skydivers.

You know how sometimes
show skydivers will...

It could be that.
They put the flares
on their boots.

But have you noticed, when they
all first saw the alien --

you had the big eye,
little mouth, little nose --

and everybody else saw one.

Now it's balls of light
in the [bleep] sky.

But everyone's recording them.
We've seen, what, four?

♪♪

man: Whoa!

Now it's the balls.

It's the balls.
Balls of light.

Great balls of fire.
[ laughing ] balls.

See that?

That looks pretty cool.
Doesn't it?

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

♪♪

we just need one of the dogs,
not all of the mental cases.

Oh, they just followed me.
Sorry, they just followed me.

It's alright.
[ chuckling ]

oh.

[ mumbling ]

my baby boy. Yeah.

[ producer laughs ]
he's a good boy.

I think bella needs
an antidepressant.

♪♪

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

alright, moving on.
This is the final clip.

There's multiple
of this clip.

Two different people recorded
the exact same thing.

These people don't
know each other,

and there were in different
parts of the city.

But the same city?
The same city.

Okay.
What we're
about to see next.

And it is a pyramid
that was like a --

some kind of pyramid craft

that is spinning above
the pentagon.

It's a relatively
recent video.

And this incident was written
about but not largely reported.

Okay, you can see it...

Yeah, I can see it.
...Right here.

Man: Where is it?
Give me the camera.

Right there.
What is this?
I mean...

What the [bleep] is that?
See it right there?

♪♪

turn right, turn right,
turn right!

Do you see it?
-Where is it?

♪♪

right there.

♪♪

oh, man.

♪♪

man: This is a [bleep]
alien invasion.

Ozzy: Maybe it's
some new transport?

Look at that thing.
Oh, yeah.

It's [bleep] huge.

Alright,
so that's one angle.

That looks pretty cool.
Go on.

Doesn't it?
And this is the...

I don't know what to think.
...Second angle.

Someone was stationary
at home, and they --

their place
overlooks the pentagon.

Man: Honey?

Woman:
Should not be here.

[ speaking indistinctly ]

look at that.
That would be interesting.

♪♪

♪♪

you know what the interesting
theory behind this is?
What?

It's a pyramid shape.

What if the pyramids
are spaceships?

The greeks
didn't make pyramids.
No, I know,

but we're talking
about the egyptians now.

Talking about
ancient civilizations.
Okay.

What if they built a replica

of what one looked like...

Yeah.
Exactly, yeah.

...Out of stone?
Yeah, that's a good --

that's a actually
really great theory.

They were
almost like a...

So, they wanted
to train everybody

about the [bleep] pyramids.

Yeah.
It could be.

Because what were
the pyramids for?

They don't know.
They have no idea.

Well, "burial temples,"
but like...

No, I mean, if you're gonna
build a [bleep] temple,

it must've taken them
[bleep] 1,000 years

to build one of them,
they reckon.

Oh, yeah.
Forever.

But the reason why they did it,
was to say to us,

"this is what --
when this comes back,

this is what it looks like."

yeah. [ chuckles ]

home has arrived.
We built a house for them.

What if the pyramids

are actually like
an airport terminal?

Like, the triangle
goes on top of it,

and then they can get
out of the spaceship?

It's like a --
that's why they were buried
with all of their belongings.

If you land one of them things,
maybe its a angle to come in?

Yeah, it's like lights
on an aircraft carrier.

They were buried
with all their wealth,

and they did it
'cause they need it

when they get up there
to barter.

Yeah.
You guys are gonna do that.

On the woogie boogie scale,
where would you rate this?

That's got a 9 for me.

A 9.
Interesting.

Pretty convincing
stuff?

Are you guys
starting to believe?

Ish. Ish.

It's very good food
for thought.
Yeah.

Who would've thought...

Was it
an egyptian magician?

[ laughs ]

any last goodbyes?

Yes, we'd like to say
thank you --

tune in next week, folks.

By next,
I'll be totally [bleep] insane.

[ thunder cracks ]
[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

if you at home have any
spooky clips,

make sure you hashtag
osbournes believe

and we'll be sure
to check it out.

♪♪

ozzy: Is that for real?

[ laughs ]

you guys are both aliens.
What does bella think?

[ singsong voice ]
my little bella.

[ as '20 gangster ] yeah, bella.
How's it going there, see?

All aboard the osbourne
crazy train!

[ ozzy laughs maniacally ]

it's a full moon tonight.
That's where we're going.

[ laughs ]

oh, my god.
Let's go.

That's it for this episode.
That's it?

See you next week.
Ooh.