All language subtitles for The Law of Enclosures 2000 DVDRip x264_track3_eng

(clock ticking)

- (whispers)
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

(footsteps)

- 2...

1.

- BEA?

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG,

I GOT STUCK DOING A BATCH
FOR THE HOSPITAL.

- NAILS LIKE RED FISH
IN BLACK WATER.

RED NAILS,
CRUSHED CRANBERRIES.

BLOOD RED NAILS
FROM POMEGRANATES.

ORANGE RED NAILS
LIKE A TRAFFIC CONE.

RED NAILS
FROM THE VELVET CURTAIN

FALLS AT THE ORCHESTRA--

- FOLLOWING YESTERDAY'S
INVASION OF KUWAIT

BY SADDAM HUSSEIN'S
IRAQI FORCES--

- WE WILL ALSO DESTROY

HIS CHEMICAL WEAPONS
FACILITIES.

- THEY'LL BRING YOU
LIVE COVERAGE 24 HOURS--

- RED FISH IN BLACK WATER,

RED NAILS,
CRUSHED CRANBERRIES,

BLOOD RED NAILS,
POMEGRANATES.

- THERE.

- IT'S NOT VERY BIG, BEATTY.

- THEY PUT MY NAME IN.
SEE MY NAME?

- IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
A RED DEER.

- IT'S A NEWSPAPER PHOTO.

THE HEADLINE SAYS
IT'S A RED DEER.

- BUT WHY SHOULD ANYONE
BELIEVE IT, BEATTY?

WHY SHOULD ANYONE BELIEVE
IT'S A RED DEER

IF IT'S IN BLACK AND WHITE?

- BEATRICE?

HERE'S YOUR FATHER'S
PRESCRIPTION.

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG.

I GOT STUCK DOING A BATCH
FOR THE HOSPITAL.

- THAT'S OKAY.

- SO HOW'S HE DOING NOW?

- HE'S OKAY, YOU KNOW.

HE'S NOT DOING GREAT.

HE'S BEEN REALLY HAVING TROUBLE
GETTING HIS SLEEP.

- THERE YOU GO.

TAKE CARE NOW.

- 49.70.

EXCUSE ME?

EVERY TIME HE COMES IN,

IT'S A DIFFERENT
HANDKERCHIEF.

IT'S A CODE, RIGHT?
(laughs)

- WHAT'S THAT THING
ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD?

- I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT THE DOCTOR.

- RIGHT.

- LOOK, I WOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT HIM IF I WAS YOU.

- SORRY?

- HE'S A FAG.

HE'S GOT AIDS.

THE WAY HE'S LOSING WEIGHT,

HE'S PROBABLY GOT
SIX MONTHS.

- HEY.

WHERE'S MYRA GOT TO?

- CHECK IT OUT.

THAT AMERICAN GUY,
STANLEY WHAT'S HIS FACE,

HAS TO LEAVE TODAY.

HE RUNS RIGHT UP
TO THE COUNTER

AND PINS THAT RIBBON
RIGHT ON HER BOOB

IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS.

(laughs) HIS HAND
WAS SHAKING SO HARD,

I THOUGHT HE'D STAB HER.

- SHIPPING OUT, EH?

- DAISY
BETTER NOT CATCH HER.

- HI, MYRA.

- HEY.

CHECK THIS OUT.

HE SAYS I HAVE TO WEAR IT
TILL HE GETS BACK.

- IT'S NICE, MYRA.

- IT'S NOT NICE, BEA.
IT'S POLYESTER.

I TOLD HIM I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,

BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT I'D CALL
AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

- IT'S SWEET, THOUGH.

- IT'S NOT SWEET.

HE COULD BE GONE FOR MONTHS.

HE MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT.

- NEXT MONDAY,
YOU AND YOUR SWEETIE

HAVE GOT TO TROT
YOUR LIPS DOWN

TO THE WORLD'S BIGGEST
KISS-A-THON

AND HELP PUT SARNIA
ON THE LOVE MAP.

WE'VE GOT THREE LIPS REGISTERED
FROM CENTRAL TECH,

22 FROM LAKE HURON OIL,
ONE FROM SUNOLO,

AND A WHOPPING 72
PAIRS OF EAGER LIPS

FROM THE SHIFT
AT PETRO-CHEM UNITED.

WE'VE GOT 25 LIPS SO FAR
COMING FROM MICHIGAN,

AND WE WANT MORE,

BECAUSE IT'S ALL THE SAME:

AMERICAN LIPS,
CANADIAN LIPS,

HA HA, MARTIAN LIPS.

WE'RE GOING TO BREAK
THE WORLD'S RECORD.

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST
KISS-A-THON DOESN'T CARE--

- WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

DO YOU HAVE
THAT ONE ALREADY?

I THINK SOMETIMES YOUR UNCLE
FORGETS YOU'RE NEARLY 18.

HMM. "PLEASE GET WELL SOON."

WELL, YOU CAN PHONE
YOUR UNCLE KENNY TOMORROW

AND THANK HIM.

(clock ticking)

- TELEVISION CREWS ARE
ARRIVING BY THE BOATLOAD,

ARMED WITH STATE-OF-THE-ART
BROADCAST CAMERAS

AND PORTABLE
SATELLITE UPLINKS.

THIS WILL BE THE FIRST WAR
IN HISTORY

TO BE TELEVISED LIVE
AS IT HAPPENS.

- HE'LL BE OKAY, MYRA.

- WE HAVE SAID
FROM THE START

THAT IF ATTACKED--

- MY MOM TOLD ME
NOT TO DATE AMERICANS.

- JOURNALISTS HAVE BEEN
DIVIDED INTO MEDIA POOLS

BY GENERAL SCHWARZKOPF'S
PRESS ATTACHé

AND ARE BRIEFED TWICE DAILY,

OFTEN BY STORMIN' NORMAN
HIMSELF.

- HE'S GOING
TO GET HIMSELF GASSED.

- THIS MORNING,
IT SAYS HE MAY BE--

- I KNOW WHAT IT SAYS.

- WE'RE WELL IN CONTROL
OF THE SKY.

- HENRY, YOU CAN'T THROW
YOUR TOYS AROUND.

YOUR DAD'S GOING TO HAVE
A FIT WHEN HE FINDS OUT.

- YOU OKAY?

- I'M OKAY.

- DON'T MOVE.
JUST LIE BACK.

- LET ME GO.

- I COULD DRIVE YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL.

- NO, LEAVE NOW.

- BUT YOU SHOULD REST.
YOU FELL PRETTY HARD.

YOU COULD BE IN SHOCK.

- ARE YOU FINISHED?

- YOU DROPPED THIS.

- WHAT?

IT'S NOT MINE.

- YOU DROPPED IT
OUTSIDE MONROE'S.

- IS THAT IT NOW?

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

- NO.

NO, THERE'S NOTHING.

- I HAVEN'T BEEN TO MONROE'S
SINCE THURSDAY.

- YEAH. I NOTICED YOU

'CAUSE YOU TOOK THAT NAP
IN YOUR CAR.

I JUST WORK ACROSS
THE STREET AT HARRY'S.

- YOU FOLLOWED ME?

- YOUR ADDRESS IS ON
YOUR AIDS MEDICINE.

I RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY.
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

- WHAT?

- I KNOW YOU'RE GAY.

I KNOW YOU HAVE AIDS.

I RESPECT THAT.

I WON'T BOTHER YOU
EVER AGAIN.

- FUCK YOU, LADY.

- I'M SO SORRY.

I GUESS IT'S JUST
THE SHOCK OF HIM DYING.

OH, YEAH, NO, I KNOW
DR. VARTIKIS JUST--

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN PICKING UP
DAD'S PILLS FOR SO LONG,

IT'S JUST AUTOMATIC
THAT WAY.

YEAH, I KNOW I WILL.

YEAH, UH...

I CAN'T, ACTUALLY,

'CAUSE I FLUSHED THEM ALL DOWN
THE TOILET WHEN I REALIZED.

(laughs)
YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
I DO ANYTHING, EH?

NO, NO, OF COURSE
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

OKAY. THANKS A LOT
FOR CALLING, DR. VARTIKIS.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

- (whispering)
10, 9, 8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

- I'M NOT GAY.

I'M NOT GAY.

- I'M SORRY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO--

- I'M NOT GAY.

- I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE NOW.

- I'M NOT GAY.

- I'M SORRY.

OH.

- I'M NOT GAY.

- IT WAS THE GIRL
AT MONROE'S.

- WHY WOULD SHE
SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

'CAUSE OF YOUR HAIR--

I MEAN YOUR HEAD.

SHE TOLD ME
YOU GOT SIX MONTHS.

- SHE SAYS THAT?

(laughs)

IT'S CALLED ALOPECIA
UNIVERSALIS.

- WHAT IS?

- MY HEAD.

MOST HAVE GOT
A MILD FORM OF IT,

BUT I PASS OUT IF
I DON'T TAKE MY MEDICATION.

- IT'LL NEVER GROW BACK?

- NEVER.

- I THINK IT'S SEXY.

- CUNT.

YOU'RE SUCH A CUNT.

- HANK.

- STOP IT.
YOU JUST BETTER BE QUIET.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ANY MORE OF YOUR GARBAGE.

- ARE YOU GOING
TO DRINK THAT?

- I AM DRINKING IT.

- THE LID IS STILL
ON THE CUP, HANK.

ARE YOUR HANDS
BOTHERING YOU AGAIN?

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH MY HANDS.

- I GUESS IF YOU CALL
ARTHRITIS NOTHING.

THEY SURE LOOK SWOLLEN
TO ME.

I DON'T WHY YOU WASTE
A PERFECTLY GOOD CUP OF COFFEE

JUST TO HOLD IT
IN YOUR HANDS.

- WELL, HEAT MAKES MY HANDS
FEEL BETTER.

- I THOUGHT YOU SAID

THAT THERE WAS
NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM.

- YOU WANT ME TO THROW THIS
IN YOUR FACE?

JUST SHUT UP.

- I TOLD YOU
THIS IS THE WRONG WAY.

WHERE'S THE MAP? WHERE?

- I DON'T NEED THE MAP.

- YOU DIDN'T BRING THE MAP.

- SHIT!

YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE,
DIDN'T YOU?

(horn honks)

- SHH, SHH. WELCOME.

SHH. STAN'S ASLEEP.

- OH.

- OH.

- MYRA, YOU LOOK GREAT.

THAT'S A NEW HAIRDO,
ISN'T IT?

- OH, I GUESS IT'S NEW.

I GET A NEW ONE
ANY CHANCE I GET.

- IT USED TO BE SMALLER?

- LIKE MY ASS.

(all laugh)

- JESUS, MYRA,
IT HAS BEEN FOREVER.

- AND YOU'RE
A BALD EAGLE NOW.

AN OLD BALD EAGLE.

OH, AND, BEA,

YOU STILL HAVE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL HAIR I'VE EVER SEEN.

- I TOLD HER
THAT SHE SHOULD DYE IT,

BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE
ANY PRIDE IN HER APPEARANCE,

SO SHE JUST LETS IT GO.

- HANK WOULD LOVE
A CUP OF COFFEE.

HANK LOVES COFFEE.

- I JUST MADE A POT
HALF AN HOUR AGO.

COME ON.
DON'T MIND THE MESS.

REMEMBER, STAN'S ASLEEP.

- THAT SURE HIT THE SPOT.

- HOW'S WORK, HANK?

- IT'S NOT SO MUCH WORK
AS IT A DESK.

- IT'S NOT A DESK.
IT'S A CHECK.

- FROM WHAT I HEAR,
IT'S A PRETTY BIG ONE.

- I WOULDN'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT.

HANK NEVER LETS ME
TOUCH THE MONEY.

- SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TOUCH IT
TO SPEND IT, DOES SHE?

- BEA, THAT'S
A LOVELY SCARF.

DID YOUR HUSBAND
GIVE IT TO YOU?

- NO.

YOURS DID.

- WHAT?

- OH, I DON'T REMEMBER
WHERE I GOT IT, MYRA.

- I GAVE YOU THE SCARF.

- NO, YOU DIDN'T.
IT WAS MY MOTHER'S.

HANK,
I DROPPED A BOBBY PIN

RIGHT OVER THERE
BY YOUR FOOT.

COULD YOU PICK IT UP
FOR ME?

- JESUS, YOU GUYS.

(clock ticking)

- SUPERMAN
HELPS EVERY MAN OUT.

SUPERIOR, HURON, ERIE,
ONTARIO, MICHIGAN.

- MOMMY VERY EARLY
MADE JELLY SANDWICHES

UNDER NO PROTEST.

MERCURY, VENUS, EARTH, MARS,

JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS,
NEPTUNE, PLUTO.

- NINE EGGS SMELL WEIRD.

- NEVER EAT SOGGY WIENERS.

- MY PARENTS SURE AS HELL
AREN'T LIKE THAT.

- NOBODY
WAS LIKE MY PARENTS.

THEY MARRIED STRAIGHT OUT
OF HIGH SCHOOL,

BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ME
TILL THEY WERE 40,

AND, EVEN THEN, I THINK
THEY HADN'T PLANNED IT.

I KNOW THEY HADN'T.

YOU KNOW WHY?

THREE'S A CROWD.

- THAT'S AWFUL.

- I DIDN'T RESENT THEM.

WELL, MAYBE I DID.

THEY WERE LIVING INSIDE
THIS GRAND ROMANCE.

I GUESS THAT WAS MY JOB,
JUST WATCHING THEIR LOVE.

SEE? SHE FROWNS,
SHE SMILES.

SHE FROWNS, SHE SMILES.

HMM?

IT DOESN'T WORK SO GOOD
WITH GEORGE.

- I THINK I TAKE AFTER
MY PARENTS.

- NOT ME.

ALL I REALLY GOT FROM THEM
WAS THE HOUSE,

THE HOUSE AND HER HAIR.

- WE SHOULDN'T BE GOING OUT.

- WHY NOT?

- I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU.

- I LOVE YOU.

- I DON'T LOVE YOU, OKAY?

- LIAR.

- I DON'T, BEATRICE.
I CAN'T.

- LIAR.

- WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON HERE?

LADY, YOU WANT ME
TO CALL THE COPS?

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG.

IT'S JUST THAT HE LOVES ME.

(clock ticking)

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WE WILL NOW PUT
THE DRAFT RESOLUTION--

- WHAT'D THE DOCTOR SAY?

- OH, YOU KNOW DOCTORS.

THEY CAN'T PIN IT DOWN
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

'CAUSE HE WORKED
AT SUNOLO FOR YEARS,

THEY SAY IT COULD BE THAT
JUST AS WELL AS THE WAR.

- WELL, THIS AIR UP HERE

MUST BE GOOD
FOR HIS BREATHING.

- MAYBE. IT'S GOOD
FOR HIS YELLING.

- HE SURE HAD A GOOD SET
OF PIPES.

- IT'S BEEN LONELY, HANK.

NO ONE TO YELL AT
BUT ME AND THE DEER.

- HEY, BEA, YOU LOOK GOOD.

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL,

YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD
ALL OVER.

- (laughs)

THANK YOU.

IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE, STAN.

- I'M GLAD YOU CAME UP, BEA.

I'M GRATEFUL.

I'D HAVE SURE HATED
TO MISS YOU.

- YEAH.

- 20 YEARS AGO,

WE WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE
AROUND HERE FOR MILES.

NOW THIS IS THE LAST PIECE
OF LAND LEFT.

- YOU'RE DAMN LUCKY, MYRA,

WAKING UP TO ALL THIS
EVERY MORNING.

- YOU GET USED TO IT.

- I NEVER REALIZED
IT COULD BE THIS BEAUTIFUL.

- I GUESS I LIKE IT.

STAN SAYS
IT'S A GOOD PLACE TO DIE.

- NOW I CAN'T SEE NOTHING
BUT SHADOWS,

SHAPES, MOSTLY SHADOWS.

I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
WHAT TOMORROW LOOKS LIKE.

EVERY TIME I WAKE UP,

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M DEAD
OR JUST DYING.

- IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU NEED, STAN?

- NO, NO, NO, NO.

I DON'T NEED NOTHING.

DYING'S EASY.

IT'S SIMPLE.

IT'S...

- IT'S WHAT?
WHAT, STAN? WHAT IS IT?

- IT'S GETTING TO THE END

AND NOT BEING ABLE TO
REMEMBER THE FUCKING MIDDLE.

IT'S GETTING STUCK

AND THEN FIGURING OUT
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN STUCK.

IT'S REALIZING WHAT
A FUCKING WASTE IT'S BEEN.

(coughing)

- DOCTORS SAY
THERE'S TWO SCENARIOS.

THEY NEVER KNOW
WHICH ONE IT'LL BE

UNTIL THEY CUT INTO
HIS BRAIN--

HIS SKULL.

HE HASN'T TOLD YOU, HAS HE?

- OF COURSE HE'S TOLD ME.

- SOMETIMES THE TUMOR
HAS SPREAD ALL OVER,

AND THE INVADING CELLS
HAVE DESTROYED EVERYTHING.

THEY CUT OUT
AS MUCH AS THEY CAN,

BUT THEY HAVE TO KEEP
GOING IN AGAIN AND AGAIN.

(sighs)

DR. MITCHELL
CALLS THESE RESCUE MISSIONS.

SOMETIMES THE CANCER--

THE TUMOR IS COMPLETELY
SELF-CONTAINED.

THEY CAN JUST POP IT OUT
LIKE AN EGG.

OF COURSE, THE CHANCES OF
THAT HAPPENING ARE SO SLIM,

THAT THEY...

WELL...

EITHER WAY, OF COURSE,

IT'S THE OPERATION
THAT'S THE BIGGEST RISK.

DR. MITCHELL SAYS
IT'S A LITTLE BIT LIKE...

SHOOTING A BULLET INTO
THE BACK OF HENRY'S HEAD

AND THEN TRYING TO STOP IT
BEFORE IT GOES TOO FAR.

(knock on door)

- BEATRICE.

(knock on door)

- BEATRICE,
HE'S GONE TO SLEEP.

- 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3...

- AND STAN SAYS THE ONLY
FIGHTING THEY'VE BEEN DOING FAR

IS WHO GETS CHOCOLATE BARS

AND WHO GETS CHOCOLATE
PUDDING FOR DESSERT,

AND THEN HE GOES INTO
THIS BIG SECURITY ROUTINE

SAYING HE CAN'T TELL ME
WHERE THEY ARE

'CAUSE IT'S SO TOP SECRET.

SO I LET HIM GO ON, RIGHT?

AND THEN I GO TO HIM,
OH, REALLY?

THAT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE WASN'T THAT YOUR SHIP

I SAW LAST NIGHT ON CNN?

- STAN WAS ON TV?
THAT'S 9.25, PLEASE.

- NO.
- HERE YOU GO.

- NOT STAN, JUST A BUNCH
OF SOLDIERS DOING DRILLS,

BUT I KNOW IT WAS HIS BOAT

'CAUSE HE'S IN
THE FIRST MECHANIZED.

THEY'RE IN THE GULF OF OMAN
DOING DRILLS.

- WHERE'S THAT?

- IT'S NEAR OMAN.

JESUS,
DON'T YOU WATCH THE NEWS?

- WE SHOULD...(mumbling)

CAN WE TALK TO--

(horn honks)

- NO, NOT YET.

- NO, DON'T.
DON'T BE MAD.

DON'T BE MAD.
- AH, SHIT.

- I'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE.

- OH.

- THE OPERATION'S
IN TWO WEEKS.

- I KNOW.

I KNOW.

- I THINK ABOUT IT
EVERY DAY,

AND I'M GOING TO DIE
A VIRGIN.

(laughs)

PRETTY DUMB, EH?

- IT'S NOT DUMB.

- I'M NOT ASKING
FOR A CHARITY FUCK.

- LISTEN...

- I DON'T KNOW. I SHOULD
JUST GO TO A PROSTITUTE.

- HENRY, I LOVE YOU.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU THIS...

THIS TO YOU
MORE THAN ANYTHING.

WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

WHAT WILL I DO
WHEN YOU'RE GONE?

TO HAVE YOU INSIDE ME

AND THEN NEVER HAVE YOU
INSIDE ME AGAIN?

I DON'T KNOW
IF I COULD STAND THAT.

- I DON'T KNOW
IF I MIGHT EXPLODE.

(crowd cheering)

- NOW, I KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING.

EVERYWHERE I'VE BEEN
IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS,

I'VE SEEN YOU PRACTICING.

WHEN YOU GUYS DECIDE
TO BREAK A WORLD RECORD,

YOU TAKE YOUR PRACTICING
SERIOUSLY.

- HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

- HEY, TONY.

LAST NIGHT
IN CENTENNIAL PARK,

I SAW TONY
DOING A BIT OF PRACTICING,

AND WHO WAS THAT
LOVELY REDHEAD

THAT YOU WERE
PRACTICING WITH, TONY?

BECAUSE IT SURE
DIDN'T LOOK LIKE CLAIRE.

(crowd hoots)

- STAN IS 8,000 MILES AWAY.

STAN WOULDN'T MIND.

I JUST, I DON'T WANT
TO MISS OUT ON ALL THE FUN.

- 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

- THE NIGHT BEFORE
YOUR OPERATION, HENRY...

I'LL HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

WE'LL MAKE IT THE BEST EVER,

AND IT'LL LAST
FOREVER AND EVER.

(telephone rings)

(ring)

- HELLO?

- HI, DAVID.
IT'S MOM.

- HI.

- AM I CALLING TOO LATE?

- IT'S MIDNIGHT.

- WELL, I CALLED SUSAN.

SHE'S NOT HOME.

THE MACHINE WAS ON.

- HOW'S DAD?

- OH, SAME, SAME.

HE'S TALKING
ABOUT RETIRING AGAIN.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M, UH...

I'M MAKING POPCORN.
YEAH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD,

HE REALLY MISSED
SEEING YOU THIS SPRING.

- WELL, I COULDN'T
GET A MINUTE.

THE DEADLINE WAS A KILLER.

- I KNOW.

I'LL TELL HIM.

- TELL HIM TO CALL.

- I WILL.

(doorbell rings)

- OH.
- OH.

(laughs)

- AHH. OW.

- DOES IT HURT?

- IT HURTS.

- WHEN I STOP THE CHEMO,
IT STARTED GROWING BACK.

- IT DOESN'T HURT TOO MUCH.

- JEEZ, I'M SORRY.

- YOUR HAIR...

WHAT COLOR IS IT?

- BLOND.

IT USED TO GO
BLONDER IN THE SUMMER.

- BLONDER IN THE SUMMER.

IT'S A SIGN OF HOPE.

YOU HAIR COMING BACK.

- IT'S NOT.

- IT'S HOPE.

- DON'T YOU KNOW HAIR
KEEPS GROWING AFTER YOU DIE?

- I THOUGHT
THAT THE REVEREND

DID A REAL NICE JOB
WITH THE EULOGY, MYRA.

- "ONE FOREVER
YOUNG AT HEART."

OH, YEAH.

STAN WAS ABOUT
AS YOUNG AS T-REX.

- IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT, MYRA.

- THAT'S BETTER.

ASHES TO ASHES,
DUST TO DUST.

WHAT?

OH, JESUS,
WHAT I AM DOING?

- MYRA?

- I'M SUCH A WRECK.

I'M JUST A GODDAMNED MESS.
- MYRA.

- CAN YOU GUESS
HOW MUCH THIS COST?

WELL, IT COST TOO MUCH

FOR ME TO BE WASTING
A CIGARETTE,

I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

- YOU KNOW, MYRA--

- OH, GOD, TO SEE
ALL THESE DEATHS.

I JUST WANTED GOD
TO KEEP HIM ALIVE.

- ME AND BEA,
WE TALKED ABOUT THAT.

- HE TALKED.

- THANK GOD
FOR THE GODDAMNED V.A.

AT LEAST THE SERVICE
WAS FREE.

- YOU KNOW THE PIECE OF LAND
RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRAILER?

WE WANT TO BUY IT.

- HE WANTS.

- HANK, YOU DON'T NEED
TO DO THAT.

- WE CAN HELP
WITH THE BILLS.

IT'S TIME THAT BEA AND I
RETIRED ANYWAY.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- I ALREADY BOUGHT IT.

- MYRA.

- OH, MY GOD!

OH, CHRIST.

OH, GOD.
- MYRA.

(jets pass overhead)

- YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE.

- (crying)

- PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER,
BEATRICE.

YOU CAN'T GO INTO HIM
LIKE THAT.

- (crying)
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

- THE DOCTORS SAY
IT'S A MIRACLE.

THE OPERATION
WAS 100% SUCCESSFUL.

- BUT--

- NO BUTS, BEA.

HE'S GOING TO LIVE
TILL HE'S 100.

- DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?

- OF COURSE
I STILL LOVE YOU.

- JESUS, THE LOGS
LOOK GREAT, DON'T THEY?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY'VE
GOT ALONG THIS FAR, BEA?

THEY MUST BE AT LEAST
TWO WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

WHY DON'T WE PULL UP AND
SAY HELLO TO THE FOREMAN?

- JESUS, YOU GUYS.

YOU'RE REALLY MOVING ALONG HERE,
AREN'T YOU? THAT'S GREAT.

- HEY, HANK, SHOULDN'T YOU
BE CARRYING HER

ACROSS THE THRESHOLD?

- HEY, HANKY PANKY.

I STARTED THE PARTY EARLY.

- OH.
- (laughs)

- LOOK AT ALL THE COLOR
IN THOSE CHEEKS.

- I GO WALKING IN THE WOODS
EVERY MORNING.

- THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE
TO START DOING.

- LOOKING FOR DEER,
ALL THIS FREE TIME.

- AH.

- FREE TIME.

- WE CAN DO IT
EVERY MORNING, MYRA.

MAYBE I'LL EVEN LOSE
A FEW OF THESE POUNDS.

- I'LL MAKE YOU A DRINK.

- MAKE IT A DOUBLE.
WHERE'S BEA?

- OH, SHE'S DEALING
WITH THE FURNITURE.

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

- OY. HANK.

THOSE MOVERS OF YOURS
WERE REALLY PISSED OFF

WHEN THEY GOT
TO THE STORAGE LOCKER

AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE
A BOOKING.

- WE HAD A BOOKING.

- NO, THEY SAID
EVERYTHING WAS FULL UP.

THEY CALLED ALL OVER TOWN,

AND THEY COULDN'T FIND
STORAGE SPACE ANYWHERE.

- WE HAD A BOOKING.

- THEY WERE HERE,
AND YOU WEREN'T.

THEY SAID THEY HAD A JOB
AT 5:00.

I COULDN'T STOP THEM.

- BEA MADE THE BOOKING.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
BEA MADE THE BOOKING.

- YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE
GOING TO HANDLE THIS.

- I MADE THE RESERVATION.

THEY SAID IT WAS FINE.

- WELL, WHERE
IS THE CONFIRMATION?

YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE
GOING TO HANDLE THIS.

WHO DID YOU SPEAK TO?

- BOB OR WAS IT JOHN?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

IT WAS ALL DONE
OVER THE PHONE.

- BOB OR JOHN?
- MMM.

THIS TAKES
THE FUCKING CAKE.

- RELENTLESS ASSAULT
ON BAGHDAD,

AVERAGING 2,000 SORTIES
PER DAY.

SADDAM'S UNAIDED
GOVERNMENTAL TROOPS

PROVED TO BE NO MATCH
FOR THE SOPHISTICATION

OF THE COALITION'S
HIGH TECH WEAPONRY.

SUPERIOR
AERIAL MAPPING ENSURES

THAT U.S. BOMBERS
CAN PINPOINT THEIR TARGETS

WITH 95% ACCURACY.

FOR THE FIRST TIME
CAMERAS ATTACHED TO BOMBS

CAN DELIVER
A GRAPHIC PICTURE

SECONDS BEFORE IMPACT.

AT NIGHT, OUTFITTED
WITH NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

AND THE LATEST
IN INFRARED SENSORS,

THE COALITION'S ADVANTAGE
INCREASES ONE HUNDRED FOLD.

COLIN POWELL
BOASTED PROUDLY YESTERDAY,

THIS IS THE CLEANEST WAR
I'VE EVER SEEN.

WE CAN SEE THEM PERFECTLY,

AND THEY CAN'T SEE US
AT ALL.

(knock on door)

- (laughter)

- PUT ME DOWN.
I'M WAY TOO HEAVY.

- YOU AIN'T HEAVY,
YOU'RE MY HUSBAND.

- OW, OW, OW, OW, OW.

HEY.

- WHOO. (laughs)

- DON'T BE NERVOUS, OKAY?

EVERYTHING'S GOING
TO BE FINE, ALL RIGHT?

- GOOD MORNING, UNCLE KEN.

- HEY, HENRY.

RULE ONE, EVERYONE CALLS ME
THE OLD MAN AROUND HERE.

- HEY, MILLER, COME OVER
AND SAY HELLO TO HENRY.

HE'S MY NEW RIGHT-HAND GUY.

- HENRY.

- HONEY, YOU'RE GOING
TO PULL OUT BEFORE YOU...

I GUESS
THAT WOULD BE A NO.

- HEY.

- HEY, LITTLE LADY.

- HI.

- WHAT'S UP?

- WASHER'S ON THE FRITZ.

- (sighs)

- THE MORTGAGE IS LATE,

AND THEY DISCONNECTED
THE PHONE AGAIN.

- WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

WE'LL JUST GET IT RECONNECTED
WHEN I GET PAID.

- MY DAD ALWAYS TOOK CARE
OF THESE THINGS.

- I THOUGHT IT WAS ALWAYS
YOU TOOK CARE OF HIM.

- YEAH, WELL, HE DID THE MONEY,
I DID THE HOUSE.

- HE GOT THE DEAL.

- IT'S WEIRD.

I'M FORGETTING HIM.

TOOK CARE OF HIM
FOR SEVEN YEARS,

AND NOW I COULDN'T TELL YOU
HIS SHOE SIZE OR HIS WAIST.

HE'S FADING.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M LYING.

IT'S 8 1/2, 42.

- (laughs)

YOU'RE SUCH A WEIRDO.

- YOU GOT A BROWN MOON
SITTING IN A WHITE LAKE.

- WHAT ABOUT ME?

- 9, 27.

AT LEAST IT WAS.

LOOKS LIKE I'M PUTTING
SOME MEAT ON YOUR BONES.

YOUR MOM DROPPED BY AGAIN.

- I'M GOING TO GO
TAKE A SHOWER.

- KITCHEN,
BASEMENT, BATHROOM,

UPSTAIRS MASTER BATHROOM.

(chuckles)

UPSTAIRS BATHROOM,

DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM.

BAR.

(both laugh)

HERE, MR. INTERIOR DECORATOR,
GIVE ME THAT.

(laughs)

- I NEVER SAW A LOG CABIN
WITH SO MANY BATHROOMS.

SUSAN AND THE KID, ARE THEY
GOING TO COME UP HERE SOON?

- SUSAN'S
GOT THREE KIDS NOW.

- THREE? JEEZ.

WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?

- I DON'T KNOW. (laughs)

- OH, COME AGAIN.

- TOO BUSY TO VISIT.

WE WERE GOING TO GO UP THERE
AND BE WITH THEM,

BUT THEN SHE SAID IT WASN'T
THE RIGHT TIME TO COME

BECAUSE HER HUSBAND'S
GOT A NEW JOB.

- SHE'S A BITCH
FOR NOT BRINGING THEM.

- WELL, LET'S FACE IT.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE US.

NEITHER DOES DAVID.

MYRA, OUR KIDS
DON'T LIKE US.

- WHAT DID YOU EVER DO TO THEM,
I'D LIKE TO KNOW?

YOU AND BEA
WERE GOOD PARENTS.

I WATCHED YOU RAISE THEM.

- WELL, I NEVER HIT THEM,
NEVER ABUSED THEM.

WE DIDN'T
GIVE THEM EVERYTHING,

BUT WE DID
THE BEST WE COULD.

- EXACTLY.

- THERE WAS ONE THING.

WE MADE THEM WATCH.

- WATCH?

- MUST'VE REALLY
BEEN SOMETHING,

WATCHING TWO PEOPLE
LEARN TO HATE EACH OTHER.

MUST HAVE BEEN
QUITE A SHOW.

- WHY, HANK?

- WELL, FOR NO REASON
AT ALL.

BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY
THAT WE DO THINGS.

- OH.

- JUST LIKE OLD TIMES,
HANK, EH?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- YOU REMEMBER FUCKING ME
ON THIS COUCH

A FEW WEEKS
AFTER MY MISCARRIAGE.

- BEA.

- OR...DO YOU REMEMBER
YOUR MOTHER

SITTING ON THIS COUCH

TELLING ME TO DIVORCE YOU?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

YOU WEREN'T HERE.

YOU WERE AT THE BAR.

- BEA.

- NOT BEA, HANK.

TEA, HANK.

TEA, HANK?

- BEA, LEAVE ME.

- OH, I BELIEVE YOU, HANK,
BELIEVE ME.

- LEAVE ME, BEA.

- LEAVE ME, BEA.

- YOU KEEPING
YOURSELF CHASTE

WHILE YOUR MAN'S AWAY,
MYRA?

- YOU BET. TRUE BLUE.

- YOUR EYE NEVER WANDERS?

- WELL, I HAD A FEW OFFERS.

- WELL, YEAH, WHAT'S
THE POINT OF BEING CHASTE

IF YOU AIN'T
BEING CHASED?

- I BET YOU LIKE THE HUNT,
PEARL.

- THE ONLY THING BETTER

THAN A MAN
NOSING AFTER YOUR TRAIL

IS WHEN YOU LET HIM
CATCH YOU.

- ARF, ARF, ARF.

- THEY'RE NOT
ALL DOGS, MYRA.

- WELL, YES, THEY ARE.

THEY ONLY DO TRICKS
WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY.

- WHAT ABOUT YOUR MAN, BEA?
WHAT ARE HIS TRICKS?

- OH, I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS ANY,
REALLY.

- (laughs) WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

- HE'S DIFFERENT.

- SURE, SURE.

- HE IS.

HE WAS SICK WHEN I MET HIM.

- HE WAS REALLY SICK, EH?

- HE ALMOST DIED.

I MEAN, THE FIRST THING
I SAW OF HIM

WAS A TUMOR THE SIZE
OF A ROBIN'S EGG.

- PETE SAID THERE'S NO
MISTAKING A REAL RED DEER.

WE'RE GOING TO GO BACK
THIS WEEK,

AND WE'RE GOING TO BAG ONE.

- THE SEASON'S OVER.
BETTER NOT GET CAUGHT.

- YEAH, I BET I CAN GET
500 BUCKS FOR THE PELT.

- WELL, YOU LAND IN JAIL,

YOU COULD SELL YOUR ASS
FOR THE PHONE BILL.

- HEY, I'LL BRING PRETTY BOY
HENRY ALONG WITH ME.

HE CAN WORK IT OFF.

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE THAT
THERE, BABY FACE?

- WELL, THE KID'S NOT QUEER.
ASK HIS WIFE.

- WOULDN'T SHE BE BETTER OFF

WITH SOMEONE
WHO'S HIT PUBERTY?

(laughs)

- I DON'T KNOW.

SHE LOOKED PRETTY SATISFIED
LAST WEEK WHEN I SEEN HER.

- WHOA, HENRY. HEY,
WHAT'S YOUR BEDROOM SECRET?

- WE DO OKAY.

- WELL, SO TELL US
ALL ABOUT IT.

- THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL.

WE JUST LIKE
THE USUAL STUFF.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- SOMETIMES SHE LIKES IT
DOGGIE STYLE.

- (laughs)

- THEN WE GOT MARRIED
AT CITY HALL,

AND HENRY GOT SO NERVOUS,

HIS STITCHES
STARTED BLEEDING.

- THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
(crying)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

- OH, NOTHING SPECIAL.

- NO, MY LIFE
IS NOTHING SPECIAL.

I'M LITTLE MISS ORDINARY,
BUT YOU, THAT'S SPECIAL.

AND NOBODY CAN TELL YOU
DIFFERENT, EH?

- GEORGE?
THIS DOOR, LOOK AT IT.

IN THIS CORNER,
TELL ME ABOUT THIS DOOR.

- IT'S NEARLY DONE.

IT'S COMING FROM
THE WOODSHOP ON TUESDAY.

- (sighs)

I WAS WONDERING.

WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER OFF
OVER HERE

CLOSER TO THE CLOSET?

- YOU KNOW, THE DOOR THAT
YOU AND I WERE DISCUSSING.

- I EXPLAINED
ABOUT THE PLANS.

I'VE GOT TO GO
WITH THE SIGNED PLANS.

- YES, AND THAT'S WHY
HANK AND I

DREW UP NEW PLANS
LAST NIGHT.

SEE, THERE'S HIS INITIALS
RIGHT THERE IN THE CORNER,

AND THIS IS FOR YOU, GEORGE,

BECAUSE WE REALIZE WHAT
AN INCONVENIENCE IT'S BEEN.

- WHAT THE FUCK
IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

I'M GOING TO HAVE
SOMEBODY'S ASS OVER THIS.

(clock ticking)

- AAH!

- CROWBAR SMASHES STAIRS.

- HAMMER BREAKS CROWBAR.

- HAND RIPS PAPER.

- WHY CAN'T I HAVE
MY STAIRCASE?

- BECAUSE IT DOESN'T GO
ANYWHERE.

- IT GOES UP, IT GOES DOWN.

- IT DOESN'T GO WITH
THE REST OF THE HOUSE.

- THEN WHY CAN'T I HAVE
MY OWN HOUSE?

WHY CAN'T
I BUILD MY OWN HOUSE?

- BECAUSE THAT'S NOT THE WAY
WE DO THINGS.

- THAT'S NOT A REASON.

- THAT'S NEVER MATTERED.

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW THAT.

(overlapping voices on TV)

- MIGHT AS WELL PUT
A GODDAMN PIE PLATE ON THE ROOF

FOR ALL THE GOOD THIS DOES.

(overlapping voices on TV)

- GODDAMN STAN AND HIS
MAIL ORDER SATELLITE DISH.

WE WANT TO SEE
THE FUCKING WAR.

SHOW US THE FUCKING WAR.

WHAT'S THE USE
OF ALL YOUR CAMERAS

IF ALL WE CAN SEE
IS A FUCKING SANDSTORM?

- THE COALITION
HAS INCREASED ITS ASSAULT

TO 2,100 SORTIES PER DAY
THROUGHOUT IRAQ.

- PEOPLE ARE POURING OUT
INTO THE STREETS

IN A SPONTANEOUS DISPLAY
OF JUBILATION.

- HEY, THERE'S STANLEY.
GO GET HIM.

- THIS IS A GREAT DAY
FOR PRESIDENT BUSH.

- HEY, TIME FOR STANLEY
TO TAKE A LITTLE RIDE.

- HE'S GOING
TO PISS HIMSELF.

- THE NATION
IS AT A STANDSTILL.

EVERYONE IS GLUED
TO THEIR TV SETS

WATCHING THE TRIUMPH
LIVE FROM THE GULF.

- STORMIN' NORMAN
CAN'T STOP GRINNING.

HE TOLD ME--

- WHOA!
- WHOA!

- HENRY.

HENRY, COME HERE.
STANLEY'S ON TV.

- BEA!

BEA?

BEA, WHERE ARE YOU?

BEA? BEA?

BEATRICE?

- THE WAR'S OVER, HENRY.

- IT'S OVER.

- BEATRICE?

- BEA.

- THEY JUST ANNOUNCED IT.

- THE WAR IS OVER.

- BEATRICE?

- HENRY.

- HE SURRENDERED.

(gong)

(cheering)

- WHOA!
- WHOA!

- WHOA!
- WHOA!

- COMING HOME NOW
PROUD AND CONFIDENT.

- WHOA!
- WHOA!

- THERE IS MUCH
THAT WE MUST DO,

AT HOME AND ABROAD,

AND WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER.

WE ARE AMERICANS.

MAY GOD BLESS
THIS GREAT NATION,

THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA.

- OKAY, MISTER. THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE ALL GOING BACK.

- HE'S NO MISTER.
HE'S A GULF VET.

- SHUT UP, MYRA.

- I GUESS YOU WANT A DRINKING
VIOLATION, TOO, LADY?

- NO, I'M REAL SORRY.
WE'LL GO BACK RIGHT NOW.

- NO WAY. OFFICER, HERE.
HERE'S HIS CARD.

HE WAS IN
THE FIRST MECHANIZED.

WE'RE CELEBRATING
HIS SAFE RETURN.

- HEY, SHUT UP, MYRA.
- HE'S A WAR HERO.

- WOW.

GOOD WORK.
WELCOME HOME.

- WHOO!

- SO DID YOU GET TO WEAR
THOSE NIGHT VISION GOGGLES?

- YEAH, WHAT'D YOU SEE?

I MEAN, WE SAW IT ALL
ON TV, RIGHT,

BUT IT'S GOT TO BE NOTHING
COMPARED TO ACTUALLY BEING THERE

AND SEEING IT LIVE.

- HE DOESN'T LIKE
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

- OKAY. SORRY.

- DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT
THAT GUY WE SAW ON TV?

HE LOOKED
EXACTLY LIKE YOU, STANLEY.

- WELL, THEY ALL LOOK
THE SAME IN UNIFORM.

- UH-UH. NO, I WAS SURE.

DIDN'T HE, HENRY? HE WAS--
- YEAH, I GUESS SO.

- YEAH, THEY PUT THE CAMERA
ON THIS JEEP OR SOMETHING,

SO IT LOOKED LIKE
YOU WERE THIS GUY

WHO WAS FLYING
RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA,

AND THIS GUY WAS LOOKING
STRAIGHT INTO THE LENS

SO, LIKE, YOUR FACE JUST
FILLED THE WHOLE FRAME.

WAS IT YOU?

- HE'D SAY IF IT WAS,
SO IT WASN'T, OKAY, BEA?

- IT SURE LOOKED LIKE YOU.

- IT REALLY MEANT
A LOT TO HER THAT YOU CAME.

- I'LL CALL NEXT WEEKEND.

- IF YOU NEED SOME MONEY
OR ANYTHING, JUST ASK, OKAY?

HOW IS YOUR FRIEND DOING?
IS HE OKAY?

- HE'S GOOD, DAD.

IVAN'S OKAY.

- IVAN.

(pots clatter)

- SHIT.

YOU CAN'T SLEEP,
EITHER, EH?

HOW MANY SHEEP
ARE YOU UP TO?

- I COUNT DOWN.

I GO BACKWARDS.

- BACKWARDS?

- FROM A THOUSAND.

- THERE'S NO
RATIONALITY TO IT.

IT LOOKS DESPERATE.

IT LOOKS LAST GASP.

- (whispers)
I BROUGHT YOU BREAKFAST.

- OH.

- IT'S GOT A LITTLE COLD.
I'M SORRY.

- OH, IT'S OKAY.

I CAN'T EAT.

BUT THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

- (whispers)
I BETTER GET A SWEATER.

- HANK?

- HMM?

I BETTER GET ON
WITH THE DISHES.

- OH.

- (laughs)

(both laugh)

- OH, SHIT.

YOU TASTE SO SWEET.

(both laugh)

- NOW, HENRY, YOU GOT
TO GRIP HER THIS WAY.

YOU GOT TO TIP IT
AWAY FROM YOUR BODY.

YOU ALWAYS CUT
TOWARD YOUR BUDDY.

OTHERWISE,
YOU MIGHT GET BURNED.

KIND OF LIKE
YOU'RE GOING TO BE

WHEN YOUR WIFE FINDS OUT
YOU'RE WORKING OLD SANDY.

- YEAH, I MEAN, YOU WANT
TO TURN OUT LIKE ME?

NO WIFE, NO KIDS,

39 YEARS OLD,

KICKING AROUND
A BIG EMPTY HOUSE.

(sighs)

YOU GOT
A BEAUTIFUL WIFE, HANK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING CHASING
A LOOSE CABOOSE

THAT'S OLD ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR...SISTER?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

- YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHERE HE IS, EITHER, DO YOU,

OR WHAT HE'S DOING?

- SURE, I DO.

HE GOES OUT WITH UNCLE KENNY
AND THE GUYS AFTER WORK.

HE'S NEVER HAD
MEN FRIENDS BEFORE.

IT'S GOOD FOR HIM.

- (laughs)

IT'S GOOD FOR HIM.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, BEA.

YOU'VE BECOME...A WIFE.

- PLEASE,
THIS IS THE NINETIES.

- THIS IS NOT THE NINETIES.

THIS IS SARNIA,

JUST THE SAME
AS ANY OTHER COUPLE

ON THE 402
ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON.

HE'S AT THE WHEEL,

AND YOU'RE IN
THE PASSENGER SEAT.

- WHY DO YOU HATE
YOUR SON SO MUCH?

- AND WHY DON'T I HATE HIM?

THAT IS THE QUESTION.

HE HATES ME.

BLAMES ME.

HE'S GOING TO BLAME YOU
FOR SOMETHING, TOO, ONE DAY.

- HE WON'T.

- BEA, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT
IN THIS LIFE YOU GOT?

- KIDS.

I WANT KIDS.

- NO, REALLY, WHAT ELSE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I'D LIKE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL,
GET A BETTER JOB.

- AND?

- WHAT?

I WANT IT
TO BE LIKE IT WAS BEFORE.

- BEFORE WHAT?

- BEFORE...

BEFORE HE WAS CURED.

- HEY, SHE WALKS.

WOULD YOU LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE?

- WHO MADE IT?

- I DID.

- I'LL PASS.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- NOTHING.

- HEY, HONEY.

YOU'RE STILL UP.

I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D STILL BE UP.

- I'M PREGNANT.

- OH, SHIT.

- I'M KEEPING IT.

- OH, BEA.

WE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

WE CAN'T AFFORD IT, CAN WE?

- THAT'S FUNNY.

WE CAN'T AFFORD
A KID THIS MONTH,

AND LAST MONTH, WE COULDN'T
AFFORD BIRTH CONTROL.

- BEA...

BEA...

WE'LL FIND
THE MONEY, OKAY?

WE'LL FIND THE MONEY.

HOW MUCH IS AN ABORTION?

- OH.

I WANT THIS KID, HENRY.

- HOW?

HOW?

- HERE'S HOW, HERE'S HOW,
AND HERE'S HOW.

IF WE CAN AFFORD
TO GET DRUNK EVERY NIGHT,

I THINK WE CAN FIND A WAY.

- I'M RUINING MY LIFE, BEA,

AND I'M RUINING YOURS.

- OH, YEAH.

I'LL SAY.

- I DON'T WANT
TO RUIN KIDS, TOO.

- OH.

- WE CAN'T, BEA.

- NO.

- WE CAN'T.

- OKAY. THAT'S FINE.

WELL, I GET PAID ON FRIDAY,

SO I'LL GET IT DONE
NEXT WEEK.

- I DON'T KNOW. OKAY?
I DON'T KNOW.

- IT'S FINE.
I SAID FINE.

(beep)

- PLEASE PROCEED
TO NUMBER 10.

(beep)

- BEFORE YOU IS THE SITE

OF THE WORLD'S
FIRST OIL GUSHER.

IN 1862, A PENNILESS DRILLER
NAMED HUGH NIXON SHAW

ARRIVED AT THESE DUMP BEDS

ON THE ONTARIO/MICHIGAN
BORDER

AND DUG 157 FEET
INTO THE BEDROCK.

A GUSHER OF THICK GREEN OIL
SHOT UP ABOVE TREE LEVEL.

SHAW'S STRIKE LAUNCHED
THE WORLD'S FIRST OIL BOOM

AND LAID THE FOUNDATIONS

FOR SARNIA'S MODERN
PETRO-CHEMICAL INDUSTRY.

(beep)

- PLEASE PROCEED
TO NUMBER SEVEN.

(beep)

- FUELED BY SHAW'S GUSHER,

OIL SPRINGS BECAME
A BOOMTOWN OVERNIGHT,

FLOODED WITH WOULD-BE DRILLERS,
MUCKERS AND SPECULATORS

STAKING THEIR CLAIMS.

HOTELS AND SALOONS
POPPED UP LIKE RABBITS,

AND THE MAIN STREET
WAS THE FIRST IN THE WORLD

TO BE LIT BY KEROSENE LAMPS.

(beep)

PLEASE PROCEED
TO NUMBER SIX.

- HENRY?

- YEAH? YOU WANT
TO GO HOME NOW?

- I'M FEELING KIND OF TIRED.

- HE'S GOT TO KISS YOU NOW.

- NO WAY.
THAT IS NOT THE RULE.

- YOU MADE THE RULE,

AND NOW HE'S GOT
TO KISS YOU.

10, 9--

- THAT IS NOT MY RULE.

- 8, 7, 6, 5--

- HE DOESN'T WANT TO.

- YES, HE WANTS TO.

- FORGET IT.

- 3, 2, 1, NOW.

(all laugh)

- HENRY.

- MAYBE I SHOULDN'T
HAVE BROUGHT YOU.

- KISS ME.

- WHAT?

- YOU HEARD ME.

- WELL, NOT HERE.

- KISS ME, HENRY.

- (laughs)

- GO, GRANDPA, GO.

- GO.
(applause)

- AW, COOL.

(all laugh)

- COME ON.

- GOOD JOB.

- YOU CAN ALREADY SEE
THE LEGS MOVING THERE.

AND THAT'S THE HEAD.

- IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

- OH, WE WON'T BE ABLE
TO TELL THAT

UNTIL THE SECOND TRIMESTER.

- YEAH, IT'S GOING
FINAL THEN.

WE SHOULD BE FINISHED UP
TOMORROW AFTERNOON NO PROBLEM.

WE HAD SOME TROUBLE
WITH ONE OF THE SENSORS.

THIS BATCH
WAS FUCKING FINICKY.

- THE FIGHT
WAS TWO DAYS AWAY,

AND WE WERE ITCHING
TO GET IN THERE.

WE'D BEEN STUCK IN
THE SAND DUNES FOR SIX WEEKS

WHILE THE AIR FORCE
WAS HAVING ALL THE FUN.

- HOW MANY OF THERE
WERE YOU?

- THERE WAS THREE BRIGADES
OF THE FIRST MECHANIZED.

THAT'S OUR
INFANTRY DIVISION.

WHAT WE DID WAS WE TOOK
SAND PLOWS

AND MOUNTED THEM ON FRONT OF
OUR TANKS AND EARTH MOVERS,

AND WE JUST ROLLED--

- HOW ABOUT SOME MUSIC?

- JUST A SEC.

- WHAT DID THEY DO THEN?

- HE'S JUST TALKING SHIT.
LET'S DANCE.

- SOME OF THEM SURRENDERED,
SOME OF THEM RETURNED FIRE.

WE JUST KEPT ROLLING
TOWARDS 'EM.

THE GOAL WAS TO BURY THEIR
BUNKERS AND TRENCHES,

THE BUNKERS, THE GUNS,
THE WHOLE WORKS.

WE TOOK CARE OF 70 MILES
OF TRENCHES THAT WAY,

MADE 'EM DISAPPEAR.

- SO WHAT DID SADDAM'S SOLDIERS
DO, MAKE A RUN FOR IT?

- NAH. WE MADE THEM
DISAPPEAR, TOO,

FOR THE MOST PART.

A FEW ARMS AND LEGS
STICKING OUT.

SOME OF THEM
WERE PRETTY BRAVE.

THEY KEPT FIRING BACK
AT US UNTIL THE LAST SECOND.

- HOW MANY IRAQIS
WERE KILLED THEN?

- I DON'T KNOW, 5,000.

ONCE WE BURIED THEM,

WE REALLY COULDN'T
COUNT THEM, COULD WE?

- DESPITE
ALL THE TV COVERAGE,

YOUR ASSAULT
WENT PRETTY WELL UNNOTICED.

- YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT
TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF.

WE DIDN'T GET
ANY RECOGNITION,

NOT LIKE THE AIRBORNE,
AND YOU KNOW WHY?

THERE WASN'T ANYTHING
HIGH TECH ABOUT WHAT WE DID,

NO SMART BOMBS,
NO NIGHT VISION,

NO LASER TARGETING SYSTEMS,

NOTHING MUCH
FOR THE TV CAMERAS,

JUST A LOT OF SAND.

- DID THE FIRST MECHANIZED--

- FUCK THIS.
I'M FALLING ASLEEP.

- NO.
- HEY!

(crash)

- (gasps)

(clock ticking)

- OH, SHIT.

(clock ticking)

- HOW DO YOU FEEL?

- (sighs)

GOOD. GOOD ENOUGH.

- YOU MEAN, UH...

- NO. (laughs)

I MEAN...

(whispers) LET ME GUESS.

- (whispers) YOU DON'T HAVE TO
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

- (sighs) NO, NO.

- YOU MEAN...

(laughter)

- AW, FUCK, HENRY.
(laughs)

- I WON'T DO IT
ANY MORE, OKAY?

(both laugh)

- HEY, NO, NO. I TOLD YOU
WE'LL PAINT IT LATER.

(all laugh)

- UH-OH.
SOMEONE OLD LADY'S HERE.

- HI, BEA.

WHEN DID YOU GET HOME?

(laughs) YOU WEREN'T HOME
WHEN WE GOT HERE.

- HEY, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL CLEAN IT ALL UP.

- COME ON, HONEY.
DON'T GET MAD AT US, OKAY?

YOU'RE GOING TO LAUGH

WHEN WE TELL YOU
THIS WHOLE THING.

FUCK, WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?

IT WAS JUST
A DUMB ACCIDENT, OKAY?

- I LOST THE BABY.

- WHAT?

- I LOST IT, HENRY.

- YOU HAD THE ABORTION?

- NO.

NO, I SAVED US
THAT MONEY, TOO.

I HAD A MISCARRIAGE.

- OH, GOD.

OH, SHIT.

(crying)
BEA, I DON'T KNOW.

- IT'S NOT LIKE
WE WANTED IT ANYWAY.

IT'S NOT LIKE
WE COULD AFFORD IT.

IT'S NOT LIKE
IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

BEATRICE, COME HERE.
LET ME HOLD YOU.

- THEY COULDN'T TELL
IF IT WAS A BOY OR A GIRL.

- THE OFFICIAL KEEPER
OF WORLD RECORDS,

AFTER A CAREFUL
AND LENGTHY REVIEW

OF THE VISUAL AND STATISTICAL
EVIDENCE PROVIDED,

IS PLEASED TO CONFIRM

THAT A TOTAL
OF 1,543 COUPLES

FROM THE TOWN--HEY, CITY--

OF SARNIA, ONTARIO, CANADA,

HAVE SET
THE OFFICIAL WORLD RECORD

FOR THE LARGEST
SIMULTANEOUS KISS.

(cheering)

- HEY, OLD MAN,

I HEARD YOU WERE THE ONE
WITH THE BIGGEST KISSER.

- OLD MAN.

- HEY, IT'S MY FAVORITE
RIGHT-HAND GUY

AND HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

HEY. (laughs)

HEY, HENRY, GIVE
YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE A KISS.

EVERYONE?
THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY,

AND HENRY
IS GOING TO KISS BEATRICE.

- HURRY BACK.

YOU TURN YOUR COLLAR UP.

I DON'T WANT YOU
CATCHING THE FLU.

YOU GOT THE CAMERA?
- UH-HUH.

(gunshot)

(clock ticking)

(choking)

- OH, JESUS.

JOHN?

JOHN, GET OVER HERE.

I'VE GOT TO GET HELP.

I'M GOING TO SEND JOHN
FOR HELP.

(clock ticking)

(clock ticking)

(ticking sticks)

(breathing heavily)

- HENRY.

HENRY.

- IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.

- NO, DON'T TALK.

- WE WOULD'VE JUST
FUCKED IT UP AGAIN.

THIS WAY, WE'RE SAFE.

- OH.

- BEA, COUNT FOR ME.

- COUNT?

- DOWN, COUNT DOWN.

- OH.

10, 9, 8...

7, 6, 5...

4, 3...

(crying)

2...

1.

- BEATRICE...

BEATRICE...

LOOK.