All language subtitles for Please.Believe.Me.1950.HDTV.1080p.AC3.x264.eng

[music continues]

[music continues]

- Alison, we're late.
- Alright, alright.

Well, come on, hurry up!

- Texas again.
- Good.

Writing that often,
what does he find to say?

There is a great deal to say
about life on a big ranch.

- Big?
- Very.

They call it,
"Thirty Mile Ranch."

Fifty thousand acres,
ten thousand head of cattle.

Listen to this.

"Dear, little girl

I was thinkin' of you
this morning, little part."

- Part?
- It means partner.

Partner?

It means part-ner.

But you're not his partner.

No, no, no, they don't mean
partner the way we mean partner.

They mean buddy.

- Buddy?
- You know, friend, pal, chum.

Oh, why doesn't he say chum?

Because he says part.

Oh.

"I was thinkin' of you
this morning, little part.

As I looked out to the east
west and south.."

He never looks towards
the north, if he can help it.

It's the only direction
to which he can see land

he doesn't own.

"The cattle are just beginning
to stir in the fields.

"Soon, the boys will be
starting out to ride

our boundary fences
in every direction."

- Cowboys.
- Yes.

Can't you just see them?

Strumming their banjos
as they set off

about their day's work.

They ride out
from the ranch house

tall in the saddle.

Their eyes narrowed
to slits as they pass

the ornery cattle rustler
without even speaking to him.

Oh, it all sounds
simply wonderful.

Has he ever sent you
any snaps of the place?

No.

He never has sent me
a picture of the estate.

[donkey braying]

- Morning!
- Mornin'.

- Where's Hank?
- Out there.

- 'When?'
- 'Buried him this morning.'

Uh, I've been afraid
of something like that.

He said he was feelin'
kinda mangy

when he'd come
for supplies, last week.

Oh, we're just fixin'
to read the will.

Do you wanna sit in?

Thank you kindly.

Alright, Pete, let her rip.

[clears throat]

"Being of sound mind and, uh.."

Oh, we'll skip that stuff.

Get down to the big question.

"To my old and faithful friend

"Tom Welsh

"I leave my highly-valued rifle

'"with a silver engraved barrel'

'"and hand-carved
walnut stock.'

"To my old friends,
Pete Drago.."

Eh, that's me.

"...and Sam Smith.."

- Eh, that's you.
- Yeah.

"I leave jointly,
my completely equipped

"camping outfit
with a request that

"when they are finished with it,
they'd give it back

'"to the government
of the United States.'

"To my old friend,
Bill Hawkins

"I leave my faithful steed
with a request to him

"not to breed that
noble animal to any dame

'"unworthy of his
illustrious bloodlines.'

"The balance of my estate
comprising 50,000 acres

"with all the livestock
there on..

"The buildings
and rolling stock there too..

"...and all appurtenances
and ordinances

"I leave to Alison Kirbe
of London, England

who befriended a lonely old man
in a strange land."

Old Hank certainly must've
enjoyed writin' that.

Did he really own
50,000 acres?

- Wouldn't make any difference.
- Yeah.

There ain't no land around here

a week's travel
worth ten cents an acre.

Oh, what are we
gonna do about this?

- Tear it up, I guess.
- Uh!

No, I'll take it in
to Lawyer Jenkins.

- Let him send the word on.
- Yeah.

- Mail, but do it legal.
- Yes, sir.

Old Hank certainly must've
enjoyed writin' that.

[fog horn blaring]

Alison, what have you
got in these bags?

They're getting awfully heavy.

I told you
we should get a porter.

Here's a girl
who's inherited millions

and you're still trying to save
us two shillings.

Well, there's no sense
in chucking it about.

Don't quarrel, darlings.
Tony's right.

I really haven't any
of the money till I get there!

There she is. Porter?

You know, Terry, your luck
really isn't very good.

- You can say that again.
- Okay, it ain't very good.

Alison, how do you really feel?

- Frankly?
- Frankly.

- Revoltingly happy!
- Alison, look.

That's the way
rich people do it.

[dramatic music]

- We'll go and find a steward.
- Alright.

Why, hello.

I don't think we
know each other?

Oh, but I'm sure we've met.

Oh, no, of course not..

I, uh, I was reading
about you in the paper.

Very interesting article.

(Alison)
'It's not a very good
picture though.'

Certainly doesn't do you
justice.

Well, um, I hope
we'll see each other aboard.

Hey, he's takin' my suitcase!

- Pardon me?
- He's takin' my suitcase!

Oh, Vincent, uh, Vincent!
You made a mistake!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Vincent!

My, uh, man's a little
hard of hearing.

I'm so sorry.

A little stupid of us,
wasn't it?

Yes, it was!

Well, he isn't very bright.

Well, I better be going.

Oh, uh, by the way,
my name is Keath.

K-E-A-T-H.
Terence Keath.

Hello.

Uh, I'll send the bag
to you, Miss Kirbe

as soon as we
get aboard the ship.

- See that you do.
- Some people have all the luck.

First, she inherits a ranch,
then she marries a millionaire

on the boat going over.

Oh, he seemed awfully nice.

- And rich.
- And weak.

(male announcer)
'All ashore that's going ashore,
all visitors ashore--'

Now, Sylvia, stop crying.

- Well, I'll try not to.
- Goodbye, darling.

- Take care of yourself.
- Yes, I will. You too.

- And write often, won't you?
- I will.

- Please, may I join in now?
- C281.

- Goodbye, Tony.
- Goodbye, Alison.

Look after Sylvia.

Do take care of them.

- Goodbye, Alison.
- Goodbye, dear.

- 'Goodbye!'
- 'Bye, Alison.'

- 'Have a good time.'
- 'Goodbye.'

- 'Well, goodbye.'
- 'Goodbye!'

Bye!

Very beautiful girl.

I don't need a lawyer
to tell me that.

I'm not telling you,
I'm warning you.

Now, look, Jeremy, we don't go
on the big boat until you agree.

- I agree!
- Not so fast.

Look, let's talk about it
later--

No, we'll talk about it
right now.

What's got into you!

I'm sick and tired of it.
That's what's gotten into me.

- I'm a--
- Corporation lawyer.

Years of my life have
been devoted to the study--

Constitutional law.

- And corporate structure.
- Granted!

- And how do I spend my time?
- Traveling?

The most sordid end
of the legal profession

appeasing, averting,
and settling breach

of promise suits against you.

You know my last lawyer
adored that in me?

Your last lawyer was disbarred.

Ah-ah, only a little
bit disbarred.

I'm serious, Jeremy.
No girls, not even a midget.

Otherwise, I'll lock you in
your cabin all the way across.

Oh, I've got to eat sometime
between here and New York.

- Fast boat.
- Oh, no, no, that's unfair.

That's duress,
that's undue influence.

It's..

It's..
I promise.

(male announcer)
'All ashore
that's going ashore.'

I solemnly promise
not to talk

to any strange women
on this boat!

- Satisfied?
- Let's go.

- No point getting on the boat!
- Come on.

[fog horn blaring]

Write.

[all clamoring]

- Who are you waving at?
- Anybody.

[fog horn blaring]

[sighs]

Oh, dear.

What's the matter, ducky?

Little by little, I seem
to be losing all my luggage.

First, someone took a suitcase
by mistake on the pier.

Now, the rest of my things
are missing.

Better tell the stewardess.

I rang 20 minutes ago.

No doubt, she'll be around

when she feels like it.

[doorbell buzzing]
Come in!

- Miss Alison Kirbe?
- I'm Miss Kirbe.

Oh, your things
have been moved, miss.

Moved? But I'm in
the right cabin surely.

No, miss, you're been
transferred to Stateroom 16

on A-deck,
in the first class.

First class?
Must be some mistake.

Oh, I doubt it, miss.

The person himself
sent me down to tell you.

If you'll just come with me,
miss.

Just follow me, miss.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Well!
- Well!

[instrumental music]

- Little porch?
- A private deck, miss.

This must cost a fortune.

Oh, it does, miss.

I don't understand.

I'm a little muddled myself,
miss.

[door closes]

[music continues]

[doorbell buzzing]

Come in!

Hello?

Gee, I-I hope you haven't
needed anything in this.

Oh, no, not yet.
How ever did you find me?

I'm listed in the second class.

Yes, I know you were.

Thank you very much, Mr. Keath

but you've got entirely
the wrong idea.

Oh, wait a moment.
You-you-you misunderstand.

No, you do.

- Oh, oh, it isn't that at all.
- Perhaps not.

Let's just say
that a suite of this kind

is a little too magnificent
to be anything else.

Yeah, but it is something else.

What?

Well, it's, uh,
kind of hard to explain.

- Precisely.
- Well..

Won't you just listen
to what I have to say?

My dear Mr. Keath, in the ATS
I drove American officers.

I know what you're going to say
so well, I could say it for you.

Look, uh, Miss Kirbe, uh

my-my-my father and your, uh,
benefactor, Hank Wadburn

were old friends,
why, for years.

- I--
- Mr. Keath.

If it isn't what I thought
it was, I apologize.

But if it is, I must say

it's superbly
an awful approach.

Well, please,
now if-if you just, uh

sit down and relax,
I'll-I'll explain

the whole thing to you.

You see, one of my
family's estates is in Texas.

Now, Hank Wadburn and my father
were old friends.

Even you know
how kind old Hank was.

He did many favors for us.

Advice and, well,
even more than that.

He, uh, handled the sale of, uh,
most of our surplus stock.

I'm beginning to feel
rather awful.

So, you see,
I couldn't let anyone

who meant so much
to an old family friend, uh, uh

just travel second class.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

I still can't
possibly accept it.

You know, you have to get
used to the fact

that you have money now
to spend, you know.

But that's just it,
I don't have the money

until I get to Texas.

Which is why you must
let me lend it to you.

But I can't let you
lend it to me, truly.

Even though your motives
are the best in the world

it would look most odd.

People would think
all sorts of things.

Pe.. Oh.

Uh, that's, eh, final?

Final.

Oh, gee, well,
I-I'm awfully sorry

that you feel this way about it.

So am I.

You'll have them move me back?

Uh, yes.

It is a very pleasant room.

Oh-oh, it is a very
pleasant room.

Would you promise to let me pay
you back when I get my money?

Of course,
when you get your money.

After all, if I did stay here,
there'll be more space

for the other three
in my old cabin.

You've got a wonderful face,
you know that?

And there really wouldn't
be anything wrong with it?

Good girl.

Oh, and, uh, I've already
made arrangements for you

to have my place
at the captain's table.

- Thank you.
- Uh, well..

I'll see you.

[instrumental music]

Well?

Well?

I pulled that Texas routine on
her, and it worked beautifully.

Sure, it worked. Who's gonna
refuse a first class cabin?

- Well, she almost did.
- What happens now?

Well, first, Miss Kirbe
and I get to be friends.

Friends?

Eh, this will probably make

absolute no sense to you,
Vincent

but I can hardly marry the girl
until I get to know her!

Look, Terry,
Lucky Riley sent me along

to watch his investment in you--

Oh, not that again.

Yes, that again!

He holds five, kid.
Count 'em!

- Five of your IOUs.
- Six.

I played another spin
at that wheel

while you were out
calling a taxi.

You make me extremely
antagonistic.

I make you what?

I read it in a book.

Look here, kid, you just
gotta get married this trip.

You've gotta get them IOUs back.

Oh, if I'd only played
my lucky number

in that last half hour.

Eh, well, you played
just long enough

to get yourself
in a real jam.

Now, you gotta get out!

You know,
Riley bankrolled you

on the basis you was
gonna marry a rich dame.

So, what happens,
we crossed the drink

back and forth,
forth and back

and you haven't hit yet.

I'm gettin' sick of the sea.

Thirty-three came five times
in that last half hour.

Look, Terry,
will you please

keep your mind on your work?

Kid, fortune hunting
is just like any other business.

You gotta work at it!

- I gotta work at it?
- Yeah.

Listen, I-I talked
to the mothers.

I danced with their daughters.

What I'm doing
is worse than babysitting.

I-I go for walks in
the moonlight with them.

I-I get up early and I go
to bed late! I work hard.

Well, kid, I guess you just
ain't got what it takes.

Oh, I don't know about that.

[indistinct chatter]

Good evening, uh..

- Miss Kirbe.
- Miss Kirbe.

Uh, this way, please.

[indistinct chatter]

Miss Kirbe.

I'm Mrs. Milwright,
uh, this is my daughter

Lily, and my son, Peter.

I do find the Clayton Line

most satisfactory, don't you?

I'm afraid I'm not much
of a judge of steamship lines.

Embarkation is always
tiresome though.

All these people going
abroad for the first time.

[Mrs. Milwright laughing]

That's curious whipping up
of an excitement

that vulgar shouting goodbyes
and crying.

It's really a bore,
don't you think?

I didn't notice, I was too
busy shouting and crying.

Good evening, Mrs. Milwright.
Lily, Peter--

- Oh, captain.
- Good evening, Miss Kirbe.

- Good evening, captain.
- Oh, you seem to be alone.

Wonder who your dinner
partners are?

Oh, yes, Matt Kinston
and Jeremy Taylor.

We had young Taylor
aboard before.

- Usually late.
- Oh.

Lord Duff.

Taylor..
The Jeremy Taylor.

My dear, it must be
very uncomfortable

for you sitting alone there
on your first trip.

You did say it was your
first trip, didn't you?

Why don't you change
places with Lily?

Then you can come and sit
with Peter and me.

Lily, get out.
No, not a word, dear.

I won't listen.

We must make your first trip
a memorable one.

Lily, I said, "Get up."

We can't have..
Change places with her.

You sitting all by yourself.

Lily, don't sit there, move.

On your first crossing, can we?

- Lily?
- Yes, mother.

- Oh, Mr. Taylor.
- Good evening.

Remember what I told you,
you don't talk

to anyone unless
I introduce you to.

Okay, okay.

- Lily, sit down.
- Thank you.

- Yes, mother.
- Hello, I, uh..

I believe I saw you
getting on board.

Yes, I was shouting and crying.

Oh, really?
I didn't notice.

You passed us going
up the gangplank.

Sorry, I bit you.

Oh, my shoulders are broad.

I have a very healthy tailor.

- He really is crazy.
- Oh.

By the way, allow me
to introduce myself.

My name is Kinston,
Matt Kinston.

How do you do?

- I'm Alison Kirbe.
- And I'm Jeremy Taylor!

I'm Mrs. Milwright,
and this is my daughter, Lily.

- Lily, say hello to Mr. Taylor.
- Hello.

You cleverly arranged it,
so she's sitting

at the captain's table.

- Right.
- Between two wolves!

- Don't worry.
- Don't worry?

The investment gets bigger
every minute.

Ocean trips,
now, staterooms for everybody

flowers, candy, perfume--

Hardly seems enough, does it?

You mean, there's gonna be more?

Vincent, there's no joy in you.

Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?

- Nope.
- Huh?

- It's wrong, all of it.
- Wrong?

I never figured out why people
think a boat deck is romantic.

It's sort of like taking
a girl for a ride in an open car

thinking she's enjoying herself.

Now, you know,
no woman can enjoy herself

with her hair blowing
all over her face.

But I like it here.

Besides being windy, it's cold.

I'm not cold.

I-I-I think you are.

Now, supposing you
would let me kiss you..

...what chance would I have?

I'm trying to make
an impression on you

while secretly inside,
you're shivering..

...but not the right way.

- The prosecution rests?
- No.

The prosecution suggests
you come with me.

The most romantic
place in the world.

Wait.

Swaying palms.

Oh.

Music?

[instrumental music]

And moonlit waters.

You're very ingenious,
Mr. Kinston.

Not really,
just careful planning.

Then, I must be equally careful
not to upset your planning.

- Mustn't I?
- Oh, in what way?

You obviously brought me here
with the intention

of making love to me.

So, I suppose, I must just
let you make love to me.

I suggest that you
kiss me here first

and then here.

Well?

No, here first, please.

- Thank you, Mr. Kinston.
- You're wel..

Thank you very much, uh..

And, of course,
Lily has had so many offers

to go on the concert stage.

Talented girl.

But we have refused them all.

You've no idea
how they pleaded with her.

But-but Lily wanted to be
just a wife and mother.

Well, bedtime!

[sighs]

- Oh, it's you.
- Oh, what I saved you from.

- Thanks, chum.
- I can't figure that girl out.

I don't know whether
she's Delilah and baby face

Little Red Riding Hood or what!

I don't even know whether
I owe her an apology

or she owes me one?

I'll find out for you tomorrow.

You stay away from her,
if she's too smart for me

how do you think
you'll make out?

Terribly,
but I can afford it.

'Not as long as
you're my client.'

Look, Matt, I have a little
over $15 million.

Now, I know it's not
supposed to be nice to talk

about one's money,
but I happen to like money.

It's been in my family
for years.

- 'Go on.'
- Well, that's it.

You see,
I'm a lily of the field

that's what I was born for,
to enjoy myself.

But you won't let me

just because you think
it'll spoil your record.

'Alright,
get yourself another lawyer.'

Oh, now,
that doesn't make any sense.

You're brilliant about
all the business things.

- I need you.
- 'So?'

So, this, I happen
to think you're wrong

about this girl,
but that's beside the point.

All I ask is if some
charming young thing

wants to clip me
for 50 or 100,000..

...please, just once
in a while, let her.

- Are you finished?
- Yes.

Goodnight!

Eh, well, good morning.

- This is a pleasant surprise.
- Well, good morning.

Ahh, it's a beautiful morning,
isn't it?

Mmm.

Uh, how would you like to talk
about beef cattle this morning?

- Dead or alive?
- Oh, both ways.

Uh, may I have a cigarette,
Vincent?

Market cattle, you know?

Oh, I don't know
too much about them

aside from the fact that
a cow is a four-legged animal

entirely unsuited
for city living.

Or if it helps any, I once
learned an elocution line.

"How now brown cow."

Okay, we don't
talk about cattle.

- Oh, I'm sorry--
- Eh?

I promise to listen
carefully from now on.

- Will that be all, Mr. Keath?
- Uh, yes, Vincent, that's all.

You see here,
the selling of cattle

is, uh, quite a complicated
operation and..

- Oh.
- Good morning.

- Mr. Kinston, Mr. Keath.
- Hello.

Somebody's selling cattle here
today?

Well, I was about to explain
the workings of the livestock.

Oh, go right ahead.
Don't let me stop you.

Thank you.

Uh, now, you see,
you must first

take into consideration
the, uh, green market--

I imagine the Chicago quotation
is very important too?

The Chicago quotations
are very important, very!

Well, they're being posted
in the lounge right now.

- Uh, now?
- Now.

Oh.

Excuse me.

I'm afraid
I owe you an apology.

I was rather fresh last night.

I do think you might have waited
till we'd known each other

a little longer than an hour.

Say, an hour and half?

Even two hours wouldn't be

considered exactly Victorian.

Well, look,
I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll start all over again,
and this time

you tell me
where you'd like to go.

Why can't we stay here?

Well, there's too much
to be seen.

The whole ship
to be inspected.

And Terry will be back

with the Chicago quotation?

Yeah.

Look, we'll start at the bottom.

The first thing we'll do
is inspect the..

But, of course,
I'm serious.

What ever made
you think that I wasn't?

I'm so happy.

- Good morning.
- Good mor..

- Shall we?
- Yes.

Darling, I forgot my purse.

Oh, I'll get it for you.
Stateroom 22, A-deck, right?

Right.

- I'll go with you.
- Good!

I'll tell you what.
We'll begin at the bottom.

We'll start with the en..

Do you mind if we take this up
some other time?

- Not at all.
- Thank you.

Something very important
just came up.

I gotta take care of it
right away.

- Well, how did it work?
- It worked like a charm.

-Madame,you were perfect.
- It was a lot of fun.

Jack, thank you very much
for the loan of your wife.

- I trust you, Jeremy.
- But of course.

- But not out of sight.
- Well, of course!

[chuckles]

Well, hello.

- You all alone?
- Deserted.

Well, it's those
legal fellows for you.

Business, business, business.

You seemed to have got rid of
your young lady rather quickly.

Oh, she's not my young lady.

She's the wife
of a friend of mine.

- Pretty smooth, eh?
- Mm-hm.

Come on,
let's get out of here.

No, I want to have
a long talk with you.

- Oh, about what?
- You.

Oh, my favorite subject.

How long have you
known Matt Kinston?

[instrumental music]

[doorbell buzzing]
Come on, Jeremy, open up.

[knocking]
Jeremy, I know you're in there.

[knocking on door]

Alright, come out,
or I'm comin' in!

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, just a minute,
eh, Vincent?

I'm afraid you have
the advantage of me, sir.

- Don't you remember me?
- I'm afraid not, sir.

Well, then, perhaps,
I can refresh your memory.

I once had a case
in the criminal courts.

There was a witness
for the other side.

A slight case of perjury.

Among other things, uh, assault

possession of stolen goods--

I remember you.

Tell me, what are you doing
on this boat?

- I got a little deal on.
- Oh.

Well, one thing, if it weren't
for people like you

there would be no legal
profession, would they?

- Bye, Vincent.
- Goodbye, counselor.

And he worked his way through,
isn't that wonderful?

I was under the impression that
we were gonna talk about me.

But we are! You were in Matt's
class at school.

No, he was in mine.

Tell me, did he go
in for athletics much?

No.

Always had his nose
buried in a book.

After you graduated,
what did he do?

- I don't know.
- Studied law.

- And then?
- He became a lawyer.

And a very good one.

Oh, yes, there was nothing
he couldn't tell you

about corporate structure and..

You!

- Lunch.
- See, he identifies things.

Now, what are you gonna do
after lunch?

Well, we haven't decided.

Well, let's decide together.

How about the Tropic Room?

- Tropic Room?
- You know, swaying palms?

Moonlit waters?

- Oh, yes.
- Fine, I'll meet you there.

- So will I.
- You do that.

I will.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

You know, I've been wondering
about something.

What?

How come you let me
brush Jeremy off

with that Tropic Room routine?

- Why shouldn't I?
- Oh, I don't know.

Most girls wouldn't.
He's quite rich.

I got a hint of that
when he was explaining to me

that he doesn't feel any better
off now that he has 15 million

than he did when he had 14.

Money doesn't mean anything
to you then?

I didn't say that.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, fancy seeing me here.
Excuse me.

Must you act
like a Water Spaniel?

Oh, I can work
things out too, you know.

When I went to our cabin
and saw your clothes

I knew that one of two things
had happened.

Either you were gone
to the swimming pool

or you were running
around the ship's dock naked.

Thanks for giving me
the benefit of the doubt.

I didn't.

Well, now what are you going
to do with yourself?

Sit around here
with this old man all day?

We're young, we're lovely.
Let's enjoy ourselves.

Let's make like athletes.

[women laughing]

Oh, no.

- We swim.
- We swim.

Hello, going swimming?

Uh, as soon as we
get our clothes off.

Yes, we are.
Would you like to join us?

Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, by the way, uh, you're
Jeremy Taylor, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- I know you.

- I'm Terry Keath.
- How are you?

Would you do me a favor?

Thanks a lot.

[water splashing]

Come on in!
It's wonderful!

[splashing]

I'm not very good at this,
I'm afraid.

Oh, don't worry.
I'll take care of you.

- Oh.
- Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

It's a race!

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheering]

Help.

[gasping]

Don't panic!

[gasping]

Don't panic!
I'll get you out!

Thank you.

Get rid of these for me,
will you?

Yes, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I couldn't make it to dinner.

I took a nap and overslept.

Do you mind if I join you?
Thank you.

Not at all.

Terry was just showing me
how the cattle market operates.

Oh, really?

Tell me, do you often sit
and talk to girls about cattle?

Only when they're interested.

I guess
I'll have to get around more.

I was interested.

Okay, by tomorrow
I'll be an expert

on longhorns and all the other
kinds of cattle.

By the way,
what other kinds are there?

- Oh, there are many breeds.
- 'Like what?'

Hertfordshire, Aberdeens

Black Angus, bahamas,
shorthorns.

The longhorns Jeremy mentioned
are no longer

considered efficient stock.

And "How now brown cow?"

Look at that tie.

(Jeremy)
'Thank goodness,
you could see it too.'

- My tie.
- Speaking about cattle..

A very funny thing happened
to me the other day on the way--

- My tie.
- Why do you keep saying that?

- My tie!
- It's a nervous condition.

Sometimes he says the same
two words for weeks at a time.

Very funny, my..
Come on, give me the tie!

I haven't got it.

Either you produce,
or I'll wear yours.

You know,
this could go on all night.

Uh, steward, I'm Mr. Keath,
would you phone Stateroom 24

and ask my man
to bring up a black bow tie?

- Yes, sir.
- Oh.

[telephone ringing]

Yes.

What?

Okay.

[instrumental music]

- Allow me, sir.
- Hm?

Oh.

Merci.

Merci beaucoup.

Nothing at all.

[instrumental music]

- You sent for this, sir?
- Oh, it's for Mr. Kinston.

Oh, Vincent.

I'm afraid you've mistaken me
for someone--

- Oh, not again, Vincent.
- Yes, sir.

Oh, now, don't go away.
I'll need you.

- To, uh, tie this for me.
- But, sir, I--

Besides, I wanna talk to you.

- Me, sir?
- Yes, you, sir.

- Perhaps, we better go.
- 'That won't be necessary.'

- How about a walk on deck?
- Lovely.

- 'Good idea.'
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Yes, you two stay here
and have a nice heart to heart.

Let's sit down, Vincent.

[instrumental music]

Careful, Vincent.
Careful.

So, you've got
a little deal on, huh?

Look, counselor,
we ain't steppin' on your toes.

- Why butt in?
- I'll make sure that you don't.

Jeremy Taylor is my client.

Are you and Terence Keath
in this together?

- That's right.
- And the girl?

What about the girl?

What do you think?

- Now, don't get mad, counselor.
- Don't worry.

You're not sore at the girl?

- Jeremy Taylor is my client.
- Sure. Sure thing, counselor.

- We'll lay off.
- I'll make sure that you do.

- 'Good morning.'
- Good morning.

Aren't you gonna sit down?

Look, I'm not gonna play games
with you anymore.

- I'm angry and I'm disgusted.
- What?

I give you full credit. It was
a very smart act. Very smart.

Pretend to be interested in me

but never lose sight
of the guy with the money.

- Okay, I went for it.
- What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
a very sweet innocent girl

who isn't interested in money,
that's what I'm talking about!

Oh!

Oh!

- Hey, hold that line, tiger.
- Let me go!

Easy.

I've never hit a man
before in my life

but that friend of yours--

Easy, easy.
Has Matt been talking to you?

Talking.

Well, he thinks you're
interested in me for my money.

He what?

He thinks you're after me
for my money.

Why the insolent,
insufferable, lonesome..

Oh, I wish I had
thought of those.

What made him think
I had any interest in you?

And if I had,
how could he possibly think

I'd be interested in you
just because of your money.

Well, what more reason
could you want?

And you went
to school with him.

Alison?

Alison,
don't be sore with me.

I don't believe any of it.

I should think not.

Why should I worry
about your money?

I have plenty of money
of my own.

I've got so much money,
I'm, I'm not quite used to it.

I've got so much,
I'm vulgar about it.

I'm, I'm,nouveau riche.

Come along.

Terry, you said
I could draw on you

for anything I might need.

Why certainly.

I want to buy some things
in the ship's arcade.

Well, you go right ahead. You
charge anything you want to me.

Thank you.
Come along, Jeremy.

I'm living the life
of a caboose.

Vincent, my lad, I just had
the thrill of a lifetime.

- No.
- Yeah.

Well, come on, tell me.
Exactly, how did it happen?

Oh, oh, boy.

Well, she started edging up
just a little bit closer.

- You mean it?
- And it was beautiful.

- Just beautiful.
- Oh, it must've been.

- Then what?
- I was so calm and confident.

It was great.
Oh, I knew she was mine.

Ha, Terry.

Terry, you didn't go too far,
did you?

- What are you talking about?
- What are you?

The bet I made
on the ship's run.

What did you think
I was talking about?

I will never tell you
as long as I live.

A cigarette, Vincent.

Only when other people
are present.

Oh.

- We packed?
- I am.

- What's eating you?
- Oh, nothing you'd care about.

I take it, our young lady
spent, uh, quite a bit today.

Quite a bit?

She went down
to the ship's arcade

and bought over $400
worth of merchandise.

- What of it?
- "What of it?"

They were all presents for
Jeremy Taylor, a guy who only

has more money than anybody else
in the country!

Oh, so what?

Listen, I don't mind her gettin'
him cigarette cases.

I don't even mind her buyin' him
pen and pencil sets

but why, with all his dough,
did she had to get him a wallet?

Calm yourself, Vincent.
Everything is under control.

Like how?

That lawyer
is out of our way now.

Thanks to you.

Tomorrow, as soon as we land,
I'll whisk our young lady

right off to Texas.

Good.

I'd like it, kid,
but the minute you get her alone

kneel down at her feet..

...gaze up into her eyes..

...and with
trembling emotion speak.

"Oh, my beloved, say yes
to life. Say yes to love.

Say yes to me."

Vincent, you've been reading
another book.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Uh, Vincent will take care
of your luggage for you.

Uh, our train leaves in an hour.

- I'm not going.
- What?

I'm staying over for a few days
at the Amadon Hotel.

- I own it.
- That I know.

But I've already cabled ahead
for tickets.

- Keep moving.
- We'll talk later.

- What?
- I said, "We'll talk later."

- What did you say?
- She said, "Keep moving."

[instrumental music]

- Good morning, Mr. Kinston.
- Good morning, Ms. Russell.

Nice to see you back.
How was the trip?

Oh, wonderful, thanks.
Wonderful.

- Anyone with Mr. Warrender?
- No, just Mr. Cooper.

Take care of those for me,
will you?

- Uh, welcome back, my boy.
- Thank you, sir.

- Eh?
- 'Nothing.'

- 'He said, "Thank you, sir."'
- Oh, you're welcome.

- Matthew, my boy.
- Hello, Mr. Cooper.

Tell me, how did young Taylor
behave, huh?

The same as he always behaves,
like an idiot.

He got himself entangled
with a girl.

- What, another one?
- On the boat.

Remarkable the energy
that boy has.

Um, what's she like?

She's beautiful, schemer,
and smarter than most of them.

Smarter? In what way?

She told him she was an heiress.

Place called
Thirty Mile Ranch in Texas.

Well, young fellow,
we leave all that to you.

I've always found the best way
to settle these affairs

was over a bird
and a cold bottle.

Hm.

Hello, Ms. Russell,
have my secretary contact

our representative in Galveston.

And tell him to get all the
information he can

on a place called
Thirty Mile Ranch.

No, it's near Goshen, Texas.

[instrumental music]

Alison, I've got to talk to you.

Oh, why not come up with me?

- I'll go along with you.
- Come on, I'm in a hurry.

I'd like to see
how they treated you.

If you don't mind, I'd like
to speak to Alison alone.

- I mind.
- Going up?

I still would like
to speak to her alone.

This makes no difference to me.

Now, what was the big idea!

Uh, it was very important
that I talk to her.

I just wanted to see
how determined you were.

- Come on, Terry.
- Me too?

No.

[dramatic music]

- I'll call a porter.
- It isn't necessary, Vincent.

I couldn't budge her.

- She's gonna stay for a week.
- On whose dough?

Well, naturally, I had
to offer to loan it to her.

What's so natural about that?

Oh, never mind, it's done.

Now, I've called Reilly
and I'm going out to see him

and you are leaving for Texas
on the next plane.

What can I do down there?
I don't even look like her.

Different color hair
for one thing.

Oh, Vincent, you're gonna go
down and look over the estates

so you'll be able to give
a full report on it to Reilly.

- It may help.
- Okay.

As a matter of fact, kid

if he feels the way
I think he's gonna feel

I just so not be here
when it happens to you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[dramatic music]

- Hello.
- Reilly is expecting me.

Would you tell Reilly..

Through there.
The door at the end.

Hey, you!

[dramatic music]

Your check.

Check? Thank you.

[clears throat]

[dramatic music]

[gasps]
Um!

[dramatic music]

[whistling]

[whistling]

[gasps]

Hello, girl.

Yeah, nice doggy.

Good old girl.

[instrumental music]

That's it, girl.

Yeah, good old girl.

[music continues]

That's it, girl.

Yes.

[dog growling]

[barking]

[dramatic music]

- Hello, Reilly.
- You're sweating.

- Well, it's a warm day.
- No, it's not.

No, well, possibly not.

What are you doin' up here?

Well, I told you on the phone
I'll need some more money.

What did I tell you
on the phone?

You, uh, told me to..

[barking]

Please, he asked me.

How much will it take?

Well, uh, 5000
should, uh, cover everything.

I wonder if you're sticking
close to business.

On the phone, it sounded like
you were thinkin'

more of the girl
than her money.

[chuckles]
Well, it must've been
a bad connection.

Maybe so.
Maybe not.

Bring her out tonight,
I'll look her over.

Oh, good.
Thanks, Reilly.

[coughing]

[instrumental music]

What do you think of it?

Oh, it's very exciting,
isn't it?

Oh, it's about the same
as most gambling joints.

- Good evening, Mr. Keath.
- Good evening.

Pleasure to see you.

Mr. Taylor,
we don't see you in here often.

- Why should I gamble?
- I wouldn't know.

Mr. Reilly, this is Ms. Kirbe.

- How do you do, Miss Kirbe?
- How do you do?

Are you gonna try your luck
with us?

- Well--
- By all means.

- Beginner's luck, you know.
- You can't lose.

Right this way, please.

- Now, what will it be?
- A hundred or so for--

A hundred dollars
for the account of Miss Kirbe.

I hope you won't need anymore.
Good luck to you.

Thank you, Mr. Reilly.
It's a pleasure.

Best percentage is the dice
table, do you wanna play that?

- Oh, I'd love to.
- How about roulette?

- I'd love to.
- [indistinct]

- Oh, I'd love to.
- Well, roulette it is.

[instrumental music]

Twenty-one, red.

Place your bets please,
ladies and gentlemen.

- How much is this one?
- $50.

(male #1)
'Place your bets please.'

- How much is this one?
- $5.

(male #1)
'Your bets please.'

Change please.

Five, uh, $1 chips.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Place your bets please.

'No more betting please.
No more betting.'

'Thirty-one, black.'

You better make up your mind
beforehand.

Place you bets please,
ladies and gentlemen.

Place your bets.

- Sixteen.
- Why sixteen?

Because today's the date,
of course.

(male #1)
'Eleven, black.'

I didn't win!

Try again.

Double up this time. Bet $2.

(male #1)
'Place you're bet,
ladies and gentlemen.'

'Please place your bet.'

Plunge.

Be back in a minute.

- Well, Reilly.
- She's no bluff.

I'll say that for her.

Bettin' a buck a throw.

Looks like an interesting
proposition.

I, uh,
I-I'd like the money tonight.

We'll see.
Haven't made up my mind yet.

(male #1)
'Nineteen, red.'

'Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.'

'Please place your bets.'

Twenty-four.

Twenty-four.

Twenty-three.

- Twenty..
- 'Twenty-four, black.'

Tee-hee.

(male #1)
'Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.'

'Please place your bets.'

There's dancing
in the next room.

Oh, no,
just a few more rounds.

Twenty-four.

Hi.

Excuse me.

[instrumental music]

Well, how did you get here?

I'll let you in a little secret.
Doorman talk.

I see they didn't waste any
time, did they?

- How much you hooked for?
- Me? Hooked?

That's the oldest come-on
in the world.

They let her win 500 or 1000.

You get the fever
and you start playing big.

- What are you in for?
- Haven't bet a ten cent piece.

You see that wild little thing
over there?

She is ahead all of $12

and she's as excited
as a kid about it.

I don't get it.

Oh, you don't get anything

unless the supreme court
decides on it.

[instrumental music]

- Well, hello.
- Hello.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- How did you do?
- I did good.

I win me 16 bucks.

Well, a gambling triumph
like that

calls for a small celebration.

Doesn't the winner
always buy the wine?

- Good deal.
- But of course.

Very interesting place,
isn't it?

I didn't know you gambled,
Mr. Kinston.

Matter of fact, I don't.

I, uh, I came out here tonight

'cause I found out
you were going to be here.

I'm here.

I'm gonna follow some advice
you gave me.

I want to apologize this time.

Did you drive all the way
out here just to tell me that?

No.

I'd like to tell you how lovely
you look this evening.

- I won't do it.
- You won't do what?

Tell you to go ahead and say

how lovely
I look this evening.

It's too easy a victory.

Let me up, will you?
I'm licked.

Well, I'm buying the wine.

I'd like to help you drink it.
Shall we?

[instrumental music]

- I'll get you a menu.
- Oh, no, you order.

Uh, you order.
Mr. Kinston.

- Matt!
- Well, thank you.

Caviar, champagne,
and crepes flambe for everyone.

Thank you, Mr. Taylor.

Oh, dear, I think I better

get back in the next room

and win some more money.

Oh, honey, now, you sit down.

We'll wash the dishes.

- Everything alright?
- Wonderful.

Mr. Reilly,
won't you sit there?

Thank you.

Miss Kirbe won
better than three pounds.

What did you say
Miss Kirbe won?

Uh, Miss Kirbe won
better than three pounds.

More than three guineas.

Oh, what's the difference?

A pound is 20 shillings,
and a guinea is 21 shillings.

- Except there is no such thing.
- Sure, there.. Huh?

Well, you see, in English money,
a pound is worth 20 shillings

and a guinea
is worth 21 shillings.

Except there is no such thing.

I'll tell him
when he comes in.

Uh, I don't think
you quite understand.

They don't coin guineas anymore,
they just use them

for counting
in certain transactions.

Well, certainly, uh, certainly.
Of course, I understand.

They don't have them
which is why they use them.

Shall we dance?

Well, I hate to leave until
I've cleared this up for you.

Oh, no, no, I-I've got it.
It's, it's all as clear as..

- It's clear.
- Oh, good.

[instrumental music]

Are you lonesome?

Reilly, a man in your line
has to know his customers

pretty accurately,
doesn't he?

He sure does.

Tell me, what credit
would you rate Miss Kirbe?

Unlimited.

How can you tell?

Well, all you have to do
is look at her.

You can tell
she's a genuine article.

[instrumental music]

Funny, how much you can tell

about people
just by lookin' at them.

Now, take Terry..

...he looks like a guy
that would--

He sure does.

Where do you think you'd be
if you didn't have money?

What about dad here?

He looks like a guy that's just
discovered something.

- 'Thank you, Alison.'
- You're welcome.

[instrumental music]

Reilly.

- What about the money?
- We got a deal.

Good.

[music continues]

- You know something?
- What?

- Your education is incomplete.
- How?

Well, you can't pretend
to be an expert

on George Washington Bridges

until you see
ours over the Hudson.

Then by all means
I must see it.

[instrumental music]

It's a truly lovely
George Washington Bridge.

Now, why did I have to convince
him that she was okay?

When I'm the one who should be
out there with her.

Or me.

No, he's not the man for her.

By comparatively speaking,
he hasn't got a quarter.

And no charm.

[instrumental music]

Oh, how can he compete with us?

He's a little lucky,
but that's all.

Absolutely all.

And he's certainly no threat.

Well, he isn't even
in the running.

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

- 'What happened?'
- 'I don't know.'

He asked me to bring him out
here, and then when I did

he took one look at the place
and keeled over.

[dramatic music]

[donkey braying]

[dramatic music]

- 'Good morning.'
- 'Good morning.'

- Over here, by the window--
- Yes, ma'am.

Oh, Matt, come in.

Good morning, darling.

Just stopped by
on my way to the office.

- Oh, what fun.
- Ah, you look lovely.

Darling, you had breakfast?

Yeah, but I can use
another cup of coffee.

Oh, would you bring
another cup, please?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

- Up to the top?
- Not quite.

- Cream?
- A little, yeah.

- Sugar?
- Two, please.

I'll remember.

There you are.

- Toast.
- Hm.

Buttered or dry?

Buttered lightly, please.

Lightly, of course.

[knock on door]

(Kirbe)
'Come in.'

Good morning.

- Morning, Terry.
- Morning.

- May I join you?
- 'Please do.'

Well, Matt just dropped in for
coffee, would you like some?

Oh, I'd love it.

I'm awfully sorry. I wonder if
you'd mind bringing another cup?

[dramatic music]

- Well, everything is set.
- What?

I picked up the tickets
on the way over

and our plane leaves at 2:30.

But I'm--

Oh, I'd leave these decisions
to me.

You need guidance
in business affairs, Alison.

Oh, but not in an aeroplane.
An up in the air contrivance.

I can't fly.

- You get sick.
- Oh, well, latest thing.

The army developed it during
the war for air sickness.

Won't work.

- It's infallible.
- For air sickness?

- Right.
- I get seasick on a plane.

Seasick?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, I see.

Well, just in case
I also made reservations

on the evening train.

I suppose you get airsick
in a train?

- That's silly.
- That, oh..

Well, good,
well, then we'll leave at--

I'll be perfectly alright
on the train

as long as there are no
telephone poles.

- Telephone poles?
- Oh, yeah, she counts them.

Let her count them.

You see, in England
the trains travel on the left.

I'm used to counting them
on the left.

Here, they'd be on the right.

You-you wouldn't want to injure
her neck muscles, would you?

- No.
- I knew you'd understand.

There is a boat
that goes down the coast

and around the gulf
to Galveston.

Oh, but really, listen

you couldn't expect her
to be comfortable

on the coastal steamer
after coming--

Is it okay with you
if we walk?

Oh, don't bring me into this.

[knock on door]

Come in.

[instrumental music]

Well, coffee.

Waiter,
I hate to ask you this, but..

Well, what's on for today?

[door slams]

We are not leaving by train,
and we are not leaving by plane.

As you came in,
I was about to explore

the possibilities of an ox cart.

Oh, I can settle that for you.

When in doubt,
you take a girl shopping.

Oh.

I don't think we should.

Oh, New York's got the most
luxurious shops in the world.

- Can you resist that?
- Yes.

- But not for very long.
- Oh, what are we waiting for?

Fine, I'll ride down
the lobby with you.

Are you sure
the elevator is safe?

Well, let's get going.

Every minute we waste,
we're saving you money

aren't we, Terry?

We won't be needing that now.

[dramatic music]

Oh, I certainly like that hat.

Well, I still prefer
the blue one.

No, much too conservative.

That one was only $40.

This one is useless
and extravagant

and that's what makes a girl
feel good.

You know, I don't really
need a fur coat.

Well, let's look at it anyway.

Just a moment,
I'll get Mr. Renard.

You're the one who seems to be
getting all the fun out of this.

Oh, boy, would you happen to be
running a little short?

Oh, it's not necessary.
Thank you.

- Good morning, Mr. Taylor.
- Morning.

And what can we do
formadamethis morning?

- I don't know.
- No, we're just looking.

Oh, there's nothing
like a fur coat

to set off the sparkle
in your eyes.

This,madame,is a good value,
but not of our regular quality.

- A nice serviceable mink.
- Yes, for rainy days only.

- Oh, it's not bad.
- And only $2500.

I don't really need
a fur coat.

But of course, you do.

(Mr. Renard)
'May I try this one on,madame.'

- 'Oh, that's much better.'
- 'Oh.'

And the bargain is $6000.

Cheap.

I don't really need
a fur coat.

- 'This is very smart.'
- 'Oh.'

- 'Ah, this is more like it.'
- $15,000. Beautiful, isn't it?

Here it is.
We'll take this one.

- Yes, sir, I'll pack it.
- Yeah.

Are you sure it's alright?

Yes, but let's get out of here.

Excuse me a moment.

You put that down!

[instrumental music]

I thought you'd want this
immediately, Mr. Kinston.

- It's about your Texas enquiry.
- Thank you.

Property in Texas
is worthless.

Taylor was right.

- She's a liar and a fraud.
- Let Taylor have her.

- I'm sorry, Matthew.
- Oh.

It's very funny, I..

I've made such nice
little plans.

Eh, care for a drink?

No, thanks,
I don't want a drink.

Good, I'll pour it.

He doesn't want a drink!

Oh..

Ms. Russell, will you see
if you can contact

Miss Alison Kirbe
at the Amadon Hotel

and ask her to come down here
as soon as she can?

I'm Alison Kirbe.

Mr. Kinston is expecting you,
Ms. Kirbe.

He'll be free in a few minutes.

Matthew, I don't understand.

Borrowed this from police
procedure.

I'll get a confession
from that girl.

Why do you need it?
Telegram told everything.

- 'How's that?'
- Uncomfortable.

[tapping]

And stop that pencil tapping!

- Get on your nerves?
- 'Yes.'

- It's supposed to.
- Well, it does.

[telephone buzzing]

Hello?

Yes, show Miss Kirbe in, please.

You're, uh, sure you want
to handle this yourself?

Quite sure.
Now, if you'll excuse me.

- Oh, good afternoon.
- Oh, good..

I'm very sorry to have to have
you come down here like this.

But I was tied up,
and couldn't get away.

Oh, darling,
I wanted to see where you work.

Yeah.

Well, uh, why don't you,
you sit down and, and, uh..

I've got some papers
you gotta come look at.

Alright.

'Uh, not there!'

Over there.
Where I can look at you.

I'll look at these papers,
it'll only take me

a couple of minutes.

I'm perfectly happy here.

[tapping]

[instrumental music]

Oh, darling,
I thought you wouldn't know.

You're such an awful girl.

And you're such
a dreadful fellow.

You're a captivating, entrancing

heavenly little grifter.

Darling.

- Matt.
- Hmm?

- What is a grifter?
- Pretty smooth.

- What?
- Pretty smooth.

You're using that vicious term
again, why?

Come on,
I know all about it.

You know all about what?

You, Terry, Thirty Mile Ranch,
the whole swindle.

- Swindle?
- Yeah, it's an American word--

Well, it's an English word
meaning exactly the same thing.

Really?

Is this true?

Oh, come now,
you can do better than that.

Will you kindly tell me
what you're talking about

and stop that childish leering
and smirking?

- Leering and smirking?
- Yes, leering and smirking.

I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.

Your great Thirty Mile Ranch
isn't worth a plugged nickel.

But Terry lives--

And as for your good friend,
Terry

I had him looked up.

Before he started traveling,
he was known around town

as "Return to the maker" Keath.

- "Return to the maker?"
- Yes.

It's a bank notation
on a bad check.

Oh, no.

I suppose this comes as
a complete surprise to you?

Yes, it does.
I still can't quite understand.

Oh, perfect. Would you mind
saying that again?

Not at all.
I still can't quite understand.

Magnificent.

A little too much
for such a badly made up story

but very smooth.

You realize how horrid
you're being?

Completely.

Well, possibly this will sound
like a badly made up story too.

You see, there was a soldier,
an older man who became friends

with an English girl
during the war.

He wanted to give her something.

He wasn't very rich, so he left
her his house and his ranch.

Perhaps, it was worthless
as far as money goes

but it was all he owned.

Very interesting.
Please go on.

When you give someone a present,
you want it to look attractive.

You wrap it in gay paper, and
tie it with a colored ribbon.

And that's what he tried to do.

You may be an excellent lawyer,
but you don't understand about

wrapping a will in gay paper

and tying it
with a colored ribbon.

Do you?

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

Oh, Vincent,

Listen, we got no time to be
standin' around

saying each other names. I got
important news to tell you.

Then suppose you tell it--

I didn't know
how to get it across to you.

Just take a deep breath
and begin.

We don't speak
the same kinda talk.

- Try.
- Okay.

Well, I zip-lined over here
from the airport.

Look, Miss Kirbe

I just journeyed back
from visiting your ranch.

And an unforeseen development
has developed

which might
seriously distress things.

It seems that your ranch is a..

- Well, it's a--
- A washout.

Yeah!

Now, since it's been
"Lucky" Reilly

who's been puttin' up the..

Advancing the funds
for your living cost

the new development
in the situation is that the--

- The heat's on.
- Right.

Now, it was Terry who initiated
the negotiations with Reilly.

And when Reilly finds out
that he's been--

- Given a fast shuffle.
- Right.

- Then poor Terry will be--
- Rubbed out.

Yeah.

You know, I never tried to sing
this kinda talkin' before.

- I'm not bad at it, am I?
- You're on the ball.

Say, you know American too,
how come?

-C'est la guerre.
-It certainly is.

Well, what are we gonna do to
get poor Terry out of this jam?

I don't think Terry
is exactly my responsibility.

- Do you?
- No.

No, no, I guess you're right.

- Poor Terry.
- He planned to swindle me.

That he did.

It's not my affairs
he's helpless.

- He was born helpless.
- Oh, can't deny that.

What if Reilly is a violent man?

He knew that long before
he ever started with him.

Sure, he did.

Ought to start to think for
himself sometime, hasn't he?

You're absolutely right.

Poor Terry.

Well, if all that's true,
what are you doing

just sitting there?

Call him and get him down here.

Alright.

Mr. Terence Keath, please.

Hello?

Just a minute, now, see..

Yes, birdbrain, this is Terry.
Who did you think it was?

How is everything, Vincent?

What?

What!

It can't be!

Are you sure
you saw the right place?

I don't understand.
Describe it again.

Why, Vincent,
you're crying!

We're in pretty deep, huh?

Almost $6000.

Six thousand clams?

You know, we were so busy
figurin' out

how to get your money
away from you

we never bothered to figure out
if you had any.

I must say, you and Terry are
rather inefficient blaggards.

Anybody would've fallen for it.

Why?

Don't you know nothin' about

how a con game works?

- No.
- Any child could tell you.

A con game is like a dipsy-do.

And now you see it,
now you don't.

When you're workin' a con, you
get people thinkin' of one thing

then you do another.

- You do?
- I don't.

- I'm not pretty enough. You do.
- I do what?

And now you see it,
now you don't.

[doorbell buzzing]

Keep calm.

Relax.

The situation looks bad,
but it can be handled.

I-In fact, I've already
taken care of everything.

- What did you do?
- I packed.

Oh, great.

The three of us will take
the afternoon train for Boston.

But when Reilly finds out
that I'm not--

- We'll be in Boston.
- Look, Terry..

Lucky Reilly will know
where you are in 48 hours.

They won't allow him
to shoot me in Boston.

Terry, sit down.

I've got to think.

Why couldn't we--

You better let her handle it,
kid.

Must be somewhere we can
make some money quickly.

You might as well
save yourself some time.

We gotta make a pile
of dough in a hurry.

And there's no honest way
of doin' that.

Mm..

- That's a good imitation.
- What?

- A rug.
- The rug?

The good imitation
prayer rug.

If we're so desperate,
we're gonna start praying

let's stick to our own side
of the fence.

How 'bout tryin' a gimmick
with young Taylor?

- He's still believes in you.
- Let's sell him the ranch.

No, I feel there's something

a trifle unlucky
about that ranch.

You're right.

How about trying
the old Bunco game?.

My dear Vincent,
if I think of a way

I may become a thief,
but I most certainly

am not going to become
an old-fashioned thief.

Well, we gotta do something.

Mm-hmm.

All I have to offer
is that I look honest.

- That's good.
- No, it's bad.

But now, that I study it

you have a wonderfully thieving
air.

- I, a thieving air?
- Congratulations.

Oh, it's nothing.

You said, if people are sure
you're doing one thing

they won't notice that you might
actually be doing another.

- Eh?
- Now you see it, now you don't.

Oh, yeah!

Have you of Reilly's money left?

- Yeah, about 1500.
- Good.

We're going to use some
of it for a very worthy cause.

- I don't understand.
- Neither do I.

But if she's got an idea,
it's our only chance.

I think you'll do better if
you don't quite know what it is.

Oh, Alison.

Oh, hello,
where have you been?

I missed you
the last few days.

- Why didn't you call?
- Well, I-I--

There's no need for us
to break off socially

just because you found out
I'm dishonest.

- Please, don't talk like that.
- Destroying your illusions?

Look, I may sound
like a sap saying this

but even at the risk
of being trite

why don't you
give up this life?

- You mean go straight?
- That's exactly what I mean.

Well, haven't you
forgotten something?

Shouldn't you offer me
the love of a pure man?

You know, the more you talk,
the more you prove my point.

Believe me,
if you were a thief..

If you were a thief,
you wouldn't

y-you wouldn't talk like that.

Oh, as the sergeant I knew once
remarked, "Bravo."

Oh, let's skip the cynicism,
huh?

Aren't you forgetting
your duty to a client?

Look, I'm not interested in any
clients. All I want..

- Look, Alison--
- Excuse me, please.

Oh. Ah!

Alison, all I know is
I can't help loving you.

Even if you are a little crook.

Oh, I see.

Alison, I-I want you
to marry me.

I beg your pardon.

[laughing]

Look..

W-well, what do you say?

You're not only convinced
I'm a thief

but you found out
a way to reform me.

Are you afraid,
I might have plans

against your pet client,
Jeremy?

- No.
- Well, I do.

You..

But, Alison..

[instrumental music]

I wasn't kidding,
these are facts.

Well, I guess this proves
she isn't

what she seems to be, alright.

Well, you're finally
getting some sense.

Ah, it's plain enough,
they're after my money.

As your lawyer, I hated having
to tell you all this.

But I'm glad,
you see the point.

Boy, I can hardly wait
for the outrage to begin.

What did you say?

The most beautiful girl
I have ever seen in my life

and she is going
to swindle little old me.

Look, Jeremy,
she's after your money.

That's right.
Take my money, take me.

Do you realize you're talking
about buying a wife?

And there are very few others

who are equipped to do it,
old boy.

Look at it this way.

When did the fish ever
get to enjoy the bait?

They'll sell you a gold brick
and leave town.

- Leave town without me?
- Yes.

- Oh, they can't.
- Oh, but they will.

Oh, old pal,
don't let them.

I don't mind their chipping me

but I've gotta wind up
with a girl.

Not a chance.

Oh, you're kidding,
aren't you?

Go ahead,
tell me you're kidding.

I've never been
more serious in my life.

Then start an action
against them.

On what grounds?

On the grounds that
they're jipping me

and I'm not getting the girl,
I'll sue.

Whoa, now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You just sit tight.
Let them make the first move.

Then when they play their card,
we find out what the deal is.

That's right.
Find out what the deal is.

And then sue!

Remember, you don't
do anything without me.

Hmm.

[instrumental music]

Don't let him know
which one you really want

or he'll put the price up.

- How much is this one?
- I don't remember.

You don't remember?

My dear friend,
why should I waste my time

bargaining with you
for 15 minutes on that rug

when it's this one you want
all the time.

- Wise guy.
- Of course.

Alright, we'll take that one.

Call Terry and get him
started for Jeremy's.

Now, I want him out of the house
when we bring this in.

Oh, we can make it
a secret surprise, huh?

- Exactly.
- Oh, sure.

Just like Christmas Eve.

Hey, kiddo, uh..

Buddy, uh, where's your phone?

- Hello, Jeremy.
- Good evening, Terry.

How are you? How'd you
happen to drop in here?

Well, I didn't just drop in.
I came by on purpose.

- Know what, have a cue.
- Uh, no, thanks.

Uh, Jeremy,
Alison is in trouble.

- Oh, what kind of trouble.
- Money.

I, uh, I-I wish I could help,
but, uh..

At the moment,
I'm a little overextended.

Of course, you know the
difficulties everyone is having

in these days
of currency regulation.

- Mm, like what?
- Oh, just, uh, difficulties.

- Oh, difficulty?
- Yes.

- That's too bad.
- Yes.

Uh, I wonder, have you ever
noticed that beautiful little

oriental rug in the foyer
of Alison's apartment?

- Uh, coming to think of it..
- Yes.

- Now, that you mention it..
- Yes.

I never have.

- Well, there is one.
- I'll take your word for it.

As a matter of fact, it's, uh,
an extremely valuable one.

- Mm, indeed.
- Oh, yes.

It's a genuine
Persian prayer rug.

Oh, it's been
in her family for years.

I never knew she was Persian.

Uh, Persia is where
the prayer rugs are made.

Oh.

Uh, I believe it was her uncle

that was stationed
in the near east

and he brought it back
with him.

- The rug?
- Yes, of course.

- What did you think?
- The rug.

Uh, now, you see,
the trouble is that, uh

now, Alison has to sell her rug.

- Oh, no.
- Yes.

Oh, that's terrible.

Why, I can't let that shy little
thing go hawking a rug around.

I'll buy it myself.

Oh, good, Jeremy, I thought
you'd take it this way.

Yes, and you go
and tell her that

I'll be down to see her
first thing in the morning.

Good.

Uh, well,
I better be getting along

break the good news,
you know?

- 'Yes, you do that.'
- Goodnight.

(Jeremy)
'Goodnight.'

Crooks, robbers, thieves,
so forth.

What are you so heated up about?

Listen, I own stock
in this hotel.

- Yes, I know that.
- A, I don't get the girl.

B, they try to jip me

C, they bring me down here
to sell me my own rug.

Look, will you relax
and let me handle it?

[doorbell buzzing]

- Good morning, Jeremy.
- Good morning.

I see you've come
well protected.

I just happened to run into him
on the corner.

Should we get the business
out of the way first?

By all means.

- This is the rug?
- Yes.

I see.

Now, let me get this straight.

Do you represent this to be
a genuine Persian prayer rug?

- I represent it to be--
- No.

She doesn't know
anything about it.

I'm the expert,
and I guarantee it's genuine.

It's mine, of course,
and it is genuine.

- And it is your property?
- No, it's mine.

She doesn't know
anything about it.

- 'It's my property.'
- How much?

$8000.

Okay.

Since you seem to be
above bargaining

you can make
the check out for 6000.

Thank you.

If you'll sign
the bill of sale, please.

- Mm-hm.
- Oh, Alison, don't sign it.

- Terry.
- Yeah, but you better let me--

(Alison)
'Terry, please sit down.'

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- What are you doing?
- I'm calling the police.

We are charging this bunch
with fraud and larceny.

We are not.

Whose lawyer are you anyway?

You make that call
and you're on your own.

Why don't you
let him go ahead?

For the simple reason that
no matter what else you are

I think you're smarter
than this.

What else am I?

Well, now, I'm not sure.

You refuse to answer
on advice of council.

Vincent?

In my bedroom cupboard,
you will find a rolled up rug.

- Bring it here, please.
- Sure.

Be my lawyer again, will you?

Something is going on,
and I don't get it.

I don't think
it's a question of getting it.

I've got a strong hunch
you've had it.

Unroll it, Vincent.

- That is hotel property.
- So?

The rug you just bought
is a genuine prayer rug.

'Mine to sell,
I bought it yesterday.'

Then it's a legitimate deal.

The only point is that even
a genuine Persian prayer rug

isn't worth more than $500.

Certainly not 6000.

You've just been let off
on an open and shut case

for false arrest.

And you just
lost yourself some business.

Oh, what do you know?
A legitimate deal.

Yes, but not a very nice one.

I'm sorry, Terry, but I just
can't go through with this.

Wait a minute,
now he was perfectly

willing to put us in jail.

Eager, in fact.

Alison!

If I had a rope,
I'd cut my throat.

- You mean a knife.
- No, I don't.

The way things have been
going around here

you could hang yourself
with a knife.

Alison!

Alison, wait a minute.
Where are you going?

I'm going to see Mr. Reilly,
and tell him the truth.

Oh, please, take my word for it.

I can handle him,
but if you got out there, he..

Well, he might have you
taken for a ride.

If Mr. Reilly invites me
to drive with him

I shall simply decline to go.

Club Mentone, 44 River H Drive.

Alison, you can't go out there
by yourself. It's silly.

- Where'd she go? Reilly's?
- Out to Reilly's.

Yeah, there's no use
trying to head her off.

I guess we've done everything
we can do.

You can't stop
a headstrong woman.

Well, so long, fellas.

- Ah..
- But..

All we can do
is hope for the best.

Yeah.

- Well, so long.
- So long.

Can't you go any faster,
please?

Lady, I got two tickets
last week, another one

and they'll take
my license away.

I'm sorry.

Table 8, win 715.

Table 9, lose 300.

Table 10, win 825.

Table 11, win 640.

Table 11 won 850 bucks
last night, not 640.

That's all Martin turned in.

Pass that onto Martin,
and get the other 210.

Oh, uh, Miss Kirbe.
Come in and close the door.

I didn't see you there.
I beg your pardon.

Mine? Beg his.

I'm sorry. What brings you
here at this hour?

Mr. Reilly,
I haven't any money.

Oh, I'm sure Mr. Keath will
let you have anything you need.

No, you don't understand.
I'm talking about my estate.

It's as good as non-existent.
It's worthless.

Go on.
Don't you wanna sit down?

No, I don't.

Terry and I owe you $6000.

Here is a 1000 of it.

We'll also let you have a rug
worth $500

and a coat worth 2500.

A rug and a coat?

As soon as we can get jobs,
I think I can promise you

payments of at least
$10 a week on the balance.

Ten bucks, and all for me?

I think that covers everything.

Now, you've had your say
and you're just

gonna walk out,
is that it?

Yes.

And since you don't
frighten me

I suggest you save time
by not trying.

I think you're a very
nasty little man

of an extremely
unsavory type.

And I don't want to spend
more time talking to you

than I have to.

Well, that's a little rough,
isn't it, Miss Kirbe?

I want you to understand this.

If you attempt to bother
either Terry or myself

I shall go straight
to the authorities.

- Is that clear?
- I guess it's clear.

Good. We'll send you the
payments as soon as we get jobs.

[growling]

Boo!

Okay, Terry.

Well, you decided to be
sensible, huh?

- Yup.
- And you're lucky.

I wasn't fooling, Reilly.

If you'd gotten tough
with that girl

I would've blown
the top of your head off.

I guess that's why I never keep
a loaded gun in my desk.

You keep a..

[gasping]

- Well, anyway..
- Sure, sure.

Send him in.

- You here?
- Yeah.

- Did you do what I said?
- Yup.

Remember, if you get one step
out of line with this girl

I'm gonna personally see that

you're turned over
to the district attorney.

- You don't say.
- I do say.

Well, I've got a cousin,
she's married.

Who did she marry?
The district attorney.

Wha..

Why'd she do
what I told you for?

Just did it.

[knock on door]

You here?

Reilly, I wanna talk to you.

- Did you do what I told you?
- Yeah.

Good.

Well, gentlemen, I guess
that takes care of everything.

Now, listen, Reilly.

- I wanna talk to you.
- Oh?

Oh! No!

A man could get killed in here.

[indistinct chatter]

[doorbell buzzing]

[instrumental music]

Is that all in?

Announce us.

Hey, Miss Kirbe,
they're back.

Gentlemen, I think you'll be
glad to know

that everything has been settled
with Mr. Reilly.

- It has?
- Yes.

All you have to do is take a
firm hand with people like that.

You'll, uh, be leaving then,
huh?

Yes, there's nothing
left for me here

and I can send Mr. Reilly
his payments from England.

Alison.

Uh, look, I don't suppose
you two

would leave me alone with her,
would you?

You're so right.

Look, Alison,
I started this out on one basis.

I was in a tough spot
and I needed money.

But now it's turned into
something else.

I'm in love with you.

Now, if that means anything
to you, I'll get a job--

It's very sweet of you, Terry.

And I know,
you mean it.

Now, wait just a minute.

If we're starting to make public
proposals, what about me?

I want you to marry me, so
you can help me spend my money.

It's very sweet of you, Jeremy.

Well, with me, you can have
everything your own way.

And with me, you can have
anything and everything

you ever wanted.

I won't bid for you,
I won't offer you money

and I won't let you be boss.

- Well?
- Well?

- No.
- Well, what are you gonna be?

An old maid?

One'll get you ten if I am.

[instrumental music]

I told you.
He never had a chance.

(Jeremy)
'Let's go.
I know a couple of girls.'

'One of 'em is rich,
and the other one's beautiful.'

'I'll take the rich one..'

[instrumental music]

[music continues]