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1
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,200
Wow!
2
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,040
That place looks way
nicer than Brussels.
3
00:00:22,199 --> 00:00:24,279
Why don't we come
here all the time?
4
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,480
After World War II,
5
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,760
people wouldn't have accepted
to have EU's capital in Germany.
6
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,680
Well, Strasbourg
is not in Germany.
7
00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:33,319
Of course, it's not.
8
00:00:34,719 --> 00:00:35,799
No, it's not.
9
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,890
Dude, why do you
have to discriminate me?
10
00:00:53,799 --> 00:00:54,999
Excuse me, Miss?
11
00:00:55,679 --> 00:00:57,159
-Hi.
-Sorry.
12
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,440
Taking a last look at the rules
13
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,440
of procedure
before the grand départ?
14
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,240
No. This is
15
00:01:06,409 --> 00:01:07,959
Facebook's corporate values.
16
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,880
-Yeah.
-Really?
17
00:01:10,049 --> 00:01:12,999
I have to study it
before I take off to California.
18
00:01:14,519 --> 00:01:17,119
It's a lot of values
for a soulless organization.
19
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,640
Says the guy who works
for the European Union?
20
00:01:19,799 --> 00:01:22,159
Yes. But we have cool flags.
21
00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:23,479
And actual values.
22
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,720
"Likes per post ratio."
23
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,839
-What's that?
-I don't know.
24
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,400
The rest is just
25
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,040
a compendium
of Facebook's privacy policy.
26
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,160
Well, you can just go to the end
27
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,199
and click
"Accept terms and conditions"
28
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,359
-and don't read it.
-That would be nice.
29
00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:42,959
But I have to read it.
I have to study it.
30
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,240
I'm going tomorrow.
31
00:01:46,719 --> 00:01:47,759
Yeah.
32
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:51,680
It's a nice place.
33
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,120
-Yeah.
-It's really cool.
34
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,240
It's like Brussels,
but people are
35
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,120
better dressed
and more exciting.
36
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,320
Yeah.
37
00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,440
It's like
38
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:00,519
being on a
39
00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,039
school field trip.
40
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,840
You know? Same classmates,
anything's possible.
41
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,090
Yeah. I know what you mean.
42
00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:13,239
And that's the mean
school monitor.
43
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,160
Eamon?
44
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,639
Oh-oh!
45
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,240
When in Rome,
46
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,000
do as the Germans.
47
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,080
-Exactly.
-That's not the idiom.
48
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,160
And Strasbourg
is not in Germany.
49
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:43,559
I found pretzels
at the cafeteria.
50
00:03:43,719 --> 00:03:46,519
Whatever Google Maps
says, we are
51
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,120
in Germany.
52
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,280
-Period.
-No.
53
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,319
Alsatians make pretzels too.
54
00:03:51,479 --> 00:03:54,239
Except that it's less greasy
and more refined
55
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,520
because we're French.
56
00:03:57,199 --> 00:03:59,119
Anyway, do you know where
57
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,200
the tabling desk is?
58
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,199
Yeah.
59
00:04:04,719 --> 00:04:05,759
Can you tell me?
60
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,200
You have to say it first.
61
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,160
-What?
-Just say it.
62
00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:12,399
No. I'm not gonna say that.
63
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,760
The tabling desk closes
64
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:15,559
in three hours!
65
00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:18,639
There's an Eastern fraction
of the building, a Western one
66
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,680
-a Southern fraction...
-Strasbourg is in Germany.
67
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:23,199
Can we go now?
68
00:04:25,170 --> 00:04:26,400
You embarrass me, man.
69
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:35,440
Of course, you need
an ID to get in, Sharon.
70
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:37,170
It's Parliament.
71
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:40,399
It's still Parliament,
but it's in France.
72
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,839
Where is your ID?
73
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,200
Why were you there?
74
00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,079
I don't want to know that.
75
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:51,200
I'm coming.
76
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:52,759
Stay where you are.
77
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:56,679
Stay where you are.
Don't move or I won't find you.
78
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:58,519
For God's sake.
79
00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:07,319
Hi.
80
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,320
Um...
81
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,880
Can you keep an eye on that bag?
I've got a Sharon situation.
82
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:15,840
No.
83
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,200
Just for a second.
84
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:22,679
As I told your friend earlier,
85
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,959
I'm not the concierge
of this institution.
86
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,760
Of course, you're not.
87
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,040
But you also kind of are,
88
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,799
so can you do that for me?
89
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,960
Okay, great.
See you in a minute.
90
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,560
-You won't.
-Cheers.
91
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,400
When you walk over there,
to the right,
92
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,240
you see that blonde woman?
93
00:05:55,759 --> 00:05:57,239
-Yeah.
-That's gonna be her.
94
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,159
Okay. Thanks, man.
95
00:06:00,079 --> 00:06:01,679
-Cool.
-You're welcome.
96
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:02,879
All right.
97
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,280
Um...
98
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,400
What's wrong?
99
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,280
Nothing. It's just...
100
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,199
Congrats, man.
101
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,200
-The signatures, that's... big.
-Oh, yeah.
102
00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:20,079
Yeah. I mean thanks to you.
103
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,320
Because posting that humiliating
video of me online
104
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,160
-kind of helped.
-Yeah.
105
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:26,359
You're welcome.
106
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:27,559
And...
107
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,080
-Don't drop them.
-I won't.
108
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,960
-Don't drop the signatures.
-Thanks.
109
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,160
What are you doing here?
110
00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:18,160
I would have expected that
to be Torsten. What?
111
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,800
- No, too close.
-What are you doing here?
112
00:09:20,879 --> 00:09:23,209
-I'm not doing anything here.
-Okay.
113
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:25,559
Hello.
114
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,160
-What are you doing?
-Pretend to be on your phone.
115
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:31,920
Hi, oh, how are you?
116
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,000
-It's my bag.
-What bag?
117
00:09:34,799 --> 00:09:36,039
The suspicious package.
118
00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,639
Can you tell them it's your bag?
119
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,280
No, I can't tell them
it's my bag.
120
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,560
-Why?
-Because it's humiliating.
121
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,040
No, it's not.
122
00:09:48,639 --> 00:09:50,679
This is not my fault.
123
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:51,960
This is your friend
who's done this.
124
00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:53,209
Torsten?
125
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,120
No, it's the mean...
126
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:56,599
-school monitor.
-Eamon?
127
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:58,959
Yes. He said he'd watch
the bag for me
128
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,040
-then he just left.
-Really?
129
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,160
Yeah.
130
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,920
That doesn't sound like him.
Did he say he would?
131
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:06,799
Did he say he would?
132
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,160
That's not the point.
133
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:10,520
Someone must take the blame.
It can't be me.
134
00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,399
Because this is my last day.
135
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:14,959
Okay, don't worry.
I'm gonna take care of this.
136
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,330
-Okay?
-Yeah.
137
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:24,559
Thank you.
138
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,000
Radek,
139
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,840
I can't see
Mr Specklin's finning amendment.
140
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,120
It was tabled this morning.
141
00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:40,599
No, it hasn't.
142
00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,599
I'm quite convinced it has.
143
00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,759
I don't quite like your tone,
Brendan.
144
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:48,039
Eamon.
145
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,400
Name's still Eamon.
146
00:10:51,279 --> 00:10:52,279
Look, Brendan.
147
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,400
Eamon.
148
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:56,600
I've a well-oiled
filing system...
149
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,040
Oh, dear.
150
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:06,919
Have you been drinking again?
151
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,600
Okay. It's not because
I'm Polish, I drink.
152
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,240
Have you been drinking today?
153
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,320
Yes.
154
00:11:12,399 --> 00:11:13,439
No.
155
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,440
I said yes instead of no
because I'm a bit drunk...
156
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,600
Radek.
157
00:11:19,159 --> 00:11:20,959
Having lost an amendment...
158
00:11:22,519 --> 00:11:24,239
is gonna be a problem.
159
00:11:35,039 --> 00:11:36,199
Oh, look.
160
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,800
Here it is.
161
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,320
With just 40 little signatures.
162
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,159
Here it is.
163
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,440
-The amendment on...
-Finning.
164
00:12:00,159 --> 00:12:01,799
-Of course.
-By Michel Specklin.
165
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,360
That's right.
166
00:12:06,919 --> 00:12:08,479
-Mr?
-Specklin.
167
00:12:08,639 --> 00:12:11,159
S-P-E-C-K
168
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,240
L-I-N.
169
00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:18,999
-Tabled.
-Thank you.
170
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,440
Hey.
171
00:15:41,799 --> 00:15:42,879
Hi.
172
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,639
You're watching a video
of Theresa May?
173
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,760
Yeah.
174
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,680
That's what I do
when I get anxious.
175
00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:01,519
I watch Theresa May's
endless crucifixion and that
176
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:03,920
makes me feel a bit better.
177
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,600
Eamon won't take the bullet,
I'm sorry.
178
00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:12,239
Yeah, I suspected that.
179
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,160
What are you gonna do?
180
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,320
Are you gonna turn yourself in?
181
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,920
No. Absolutely no.
I can't do that.
182
00:16:19,639 --> 00:16:22,719
It's fine. Everybody makes
mistakes. They'll understand.
183
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,280
Yes, sure.
184
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,320
But I'm British.
185
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,600
British people say sorry
all the time.
186
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,759
Yeah, but that's not
how it works.
187
00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:36,919
We only say sorry when the other
person is meant to feel sorry.
188
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,640
We never mean any of it.
189
00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:41,239
Why do you think
we're insisting on Brexiting?
190
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:44,079
It would be way too embarrassing
191
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,240
at this stage for us
to come out and say:
192
00:16:46,399 --> 00:16:48,679
"Sorry, we should never have
asked the question.
193
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,240
"Let's forget about it."
194
00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:52,919
I can't come out now
in front of everyone and say:
195
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,920
"Sorry, my knickers
have been blocking
196
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,800
the whole building
for four hours!"
197
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:57,879
It's okay.
198
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,080
Hey, relax.
199
00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:03,479
It's never too late
to make the right decision.
200
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:06,890
Yeah.
201
00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:09,170
Yeah.
202
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,520
Could you say it's your bag?
203
00:17:31,279 --> 00:17:32,319
What?
204
00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:34,320
Could you say it's your bag?
205
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,119
Shit.
206
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,960
Love the EU, huh?
207
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:35,169
You know what?
208
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,840
Fuck the EU!
209
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,890
Fuck the EU and everyone in it.
210
00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:44,889
Fuck the French and their
grandiose ideas about Europe.
211
00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:46,679
Insufferable bastards.
212
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:48,519
Your country is a gigantic mess
213
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,360
and you are telling us
how we should run things?
214
00:19:54,279 --> 00:19:55,889
Fuck the Brits
215
00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:59,239
and their sense of entitlement
they carry everywhere they go.
216
00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:01,960
You're not a global power.
Just a tiny island
217
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,479
with a massive drinking problem.
218
00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:07,440
And two years down the line,
you're the only ones
219
00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:10,439
who still think Brexit
is a good idea.
220
00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:14,320
Fuck the Grand Duchy
of fucking Luxembourg.
221
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,720
Tax haven without sunlight
or beaches.
222
00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:20,410
No wonder only money
wants to live there.
223
00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:21,759
Fuck the Italians
224
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,800
and their political experiments.
225
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,360
Fascists and...,
vaffanculo politics.
226
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:30,359
Always ten years ahead
on the next dumbest shit.
227
00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:33,039
Just stick to undercooked pasta.
228
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,079
Fuck the Scandinavians.
229
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:39,080
Swedes, Danes, Finns...
What's the fucking difference?
230
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:42,040
"I do everything better than
you do." Fucking goody-goodies.
231
00:20:42,519 --> 00:20:43,889
Fuck the Greeks.
232
00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:45,839
Living above your means
with our money
233
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,440
and now you're crying
like babies
234
00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:50,759
because we're asking you
to pay your taxes?
235
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,890
Give me a fucking break!
236
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,600
Fuck us Germans
237
00:20:55,759 --> 00:20:58,999
and the preaching tone.
238
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,960
Ruling the continent again
like we just can't help it.
239
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,839
Patronizing motherfuckers.
240
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Praising the rules
by selling rigged diesel cars.
241
00:21:08,170 --> 00:21:09,720
Don't get me started
on the Dutch,
242
00:21:09,799 --> 00:21:11,439
they make the Germans look good.
243
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:13,520
Fuck the Eastern bloc.
244
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,600
Giving us the finger while we
shower your mid-sized towns
245
00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:18,239
with European cash!
246
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,720
Constantly whining
247
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:23,480
because History
has been so unfair to you.
248
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:27,240
And now, you are spitting
on liberal democracy?
249
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:28,720
You've betrayed us.
250
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,479
Give us back our fucking money!
251
00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:34,319
And Belgium.
252
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:36,479
Come on, I mean. You know...
253
00:21:36,650 --> 00:21:38,680
You're not even a real country.
254
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,120
Fuck the citizens.
255
00:21:42,279 --> 00:21:43,799
You don't deserve the effort
256
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:45,480
we put in to make
your lives better.
257
00:21:45,650 --> 00:21:46,920
You know what?
258
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:51,200
If the EU makes no sense to you,
it's maybe because you are...
259
00:21:51,279 --> 00:21:55,119
Life's complicated, Europe too.
So just grow the fuck up!
260
00:21:55,279 --> 00:21:57,039
And keep on voting for the most
261
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:58,959
entertaining buffoon
every five years.
262
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:00,839
Just look at them.
263
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,840
Populists pissing on Europe
264
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,800
while cashing
massive EU salaries.
265
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,480
Trashing everything
we do from the backseat.
266
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:08,559
You know what?
267
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,800
If you don't like it, just go
back to your fucking country.
268
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,400
Fuck the civil servants.
269
00:22:16,559 --> 00:22:18,119
Smug faces
270
00:22:18,279 --> 00:22:19,679
and their paternalistic tone.
271
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,999
You think you know better?
272
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,240
Well, maybe you do.
273
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,120
But you haven't been elected
by anyone, darling.
274
00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:30,079
So, just shut the fuck up
275
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,800
and do as you're told.
17396
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