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NARRATOR: The Pentagon,
Washington, DC,
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heart and nerve center
of our national defense.
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Swamped by the gigantic task
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of classifying, assigning and
recalling thousands of soldiers,
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man has turned to the machine.
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Take the process
of recalling reserve officers.
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Department of the army
classification cards
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for several hundred
military personnel
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may be placed
in the classification machine,
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and in the space
of a few seconds
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the person best suited for a
specific assignment will be selected.
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Once the officer is selected,
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the recall procedure
is swift and unerring.
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Oh, uh...
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Tommy, you got
anything there for me?
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Yeah. Here's a telegram,
Mr. Stirling.
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Telegram?
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I hope there's nothing
wrong with Aunt Ethel.
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She's not feeling very well.
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Yeah?
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Oh, good!
It's not from Aunt Ethel.
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It's from Washington. DC!
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Gee, who do you know
in Washington?
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Oh, connections, connections.
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Well...
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Hey, I won't go! I won't go!
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Bad news, Mr. Stirling?
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(STUTTERS) I... I'm a retread!
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00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,582
You're a what?
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A retread! (STAMMERING) The Army,
they're calling me back in the Army.
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Gee! Are things that bad?
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Yeah, I...
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Well, they can't do this to me!
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They can't do this to me!
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If they want me, they're gonna have
to come and get me, that's all!
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They're gonna have to come and get me...
(ALARM BLARING)
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...No, I won't go!
You wait and see!
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You... They won't...
They won't take me! Ha!
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You wait and see. I won't go!
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(RATTLING)
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(HORN BLARING)
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(BELL TINKLING)
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(MALE VOICE SINGING)
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(SINGING)
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Hey, Francis! Francis!
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It... It's me! Francis! Francis!
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(FRANCIS HUMMING)
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Hey, Francis!
Hey, Francis, it's me!
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It's me, Petey!
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Uh... Hey, wait, wait!
Don't... Don't go away!
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Wait! Wait!
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Francis, I...
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Well, I'll be darned!
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I could've sworn
you were Francis!
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Why, you're not even a mule!
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Do you always talk to horses?
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Huh? Oh, no, sir,
just the mules.
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My bags! My bags! Hey, wait!
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Wait! Help me to stop it!
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(GROANING)
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I... I beg your pardon, sir.
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I really, I...
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
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(STAMMERING)
I had no idea that you...
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00:04:39,707 --> 00:04:42,207
That... No, really.
Really, sir...
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Why, you're not a sir.
You're a lady.
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Fortunately for you.
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I... I mean, you're a WAC.
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00:04:47,707 --> 00:04:49,683
Oh, well... Well, anyway,
I beg your pardon, madam.
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Uh, young lady, uh, Captain...
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00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,291
All right, Lieutenant,
you got your laugh.
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Uh, but, no, really, I...
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That's the prettiest soldier
I've ever seen.
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CONDUCTOR: Board!
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My bag! Wait.
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Porter! Porter! Uh...
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Oh! (SIREN BLARING)
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Oh! Oh, it's you again!
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00:05:30,582 --> 00:05:31,832
And your aim is getting better.
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00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:33,642
Oh, thank you!
I mean, no. No, no.
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00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,643
Well, what I mean is,
well, you see,
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the door was closed, I had
to get my bag off somehow.
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On my head?
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00:05:37,957 --> 00:05:39,642
Well, I didn't know it was your head.
Besides, I...
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00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,517
Hey, wait a minute! Hey,
stop the train, will you?
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Wait a second!
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(SHRIEKING)
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Oh!
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Oh. (EXCLAIMING)
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00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:49,642
I'm... I'm very
sorry, madam. I...
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00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:50,642
Are you all right, Captain?
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00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:51,666
Oh!
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00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:54,291
Oh, fine! Just fine!
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00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:55,600
Now, really, just...
Just an accident!
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00:05:55,624 --> 00:05:57,600
Really, I... I'm
terribly sorry, madam.
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I mean, young...
(STAMMERING) Captain,
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00:05:58,666 --> 00:06:00,207
I'm really...
I'm very sorry. I...
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00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:01,291
Oh!
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00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:03,600
Now, really, I... At
ease, Sergeant, at ease.
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00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,666
Okay, Lieutenant. Okay.
I saw the whole thing.
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00:06:05,749 --> 00:06:07,017
Well, then you know
it was an accident.
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00:06:07,041 --> 00:06:10,791
Sure, but you gotta leave the girl
some pride, Lieutenant, some pride.
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00:06:10,874 --> 00:06:13,225
Corporal McDonald will take care
of your transportation, Lieutenant.
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00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:14,683
Well, thank you. Oh, uh,
my luggage, though. I got...
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00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,416
Oh, we'll get it, if that WAC
captain hasn't chewed it up.
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00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:21,886
You're the prettiest soldier
I've ever seen.
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00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,166
Oh!
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00:06:34,707 --> 00:06:35,832
Ahem!
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00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:38,166
Ahem!
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00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,041
Just a minute, ma'am.
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00:06:46,457 --> 00:06:48,297
Uh, I was told I could
get transportation to...
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00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:51,582
Well, now, please, don't crowd in.
The lady's first.
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What happened to her?
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00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,541
Where'd that WAC go? What WAC?
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00:06:59,582 --> 00:07:01,558
Look, I'm Lieutenant Peter Stirling.
Do you mind?
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Yes, sir. Here you
are, Lieutenant.
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All in one piece.
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00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,541
He, uh, wants transportation.
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00:07:07,582 --> 00:07:08,782
KREUGER: Well, give it to him.
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00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:18,124
Lieutenant, give these to the
jeep driver behind the station.
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00:07:18,207 --> 00:07:19,707
He'll take you to your outfit.
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00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:21,249
Thank you.
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00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:25,916
I thought I'd seen everything.
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Papers seem to be in order.
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Washington sent him.
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00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:31,332
George or Martha?
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Being transferred in.
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00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:03,374
PETER: "Off Limits."
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00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:06,041
Must be a highly
secret assignment.
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00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:07,499
Sure must be!
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00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:09,541
All right, sir.
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00:08:27,416 --> 00:08:28,475
This is it, Lieutenant.
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Thank you very much.
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00:08:29,749 --> 00:08:31,475
I wonder what kind
of work it is.
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00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:33,499
It shouldn't be hard to take.
135
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,416
Hmm, that's quite
a large female personnel.
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Small ones, too.
All sizes. (GROWLS)
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00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:01,207
Uh...
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This organization, is it, uh...
(STAMMERING)
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00:09:03,457 --> 00:09:05,207
Oh, no, couldn't be.
140
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,683
Is something bothering
you, Lieutenant?
141
00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:08,499
Huh? Well it looks
like a WAC area.
142
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:09,957
It should. It is.
143
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,666
Oh, is that so?
144
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:14,291
The WACs! Me in the WACs!
145
00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:16,041
Now, what's...
What's going on here?
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(STAMMERING) Now you wait here!
I'm gonna find...
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00:09:24,416 --> 00:09:26,999
Good afternoon, Lieutenant.
Sightseeing?
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00:09:27,124 --> 00:09:28,225
I would like some information.
149
00:09:28,249 --> 00:09:30,207
My name is Lieutenant Stirling.
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00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:31,416
What?
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00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:33,416
Oh.
152
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:35,749
For a minute there you had me.
153
00:09:35,832 --> 00:09:37,916
We were expecting
someone by that name.
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00:09:37,999 --> 00:09:39,392
A camouflage expert.
155
00:09:39,416 --> 00:09:40,499
Well, my name is Stirling,
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but, uh, I don't know
anything about camouflage.
157
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,666
Of course, it's not you. You're
Lieutenant Peter Stirling.
158
00:09:45,749 --> 00:09:46,749
Yes, that's right.
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00:09:46,832 --> 00:09:48,749
We were expecting
a Bunny Stirling,
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who is a camouflage expert.
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00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:51,416
Oh, I see.
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00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:54,457
May I talk to your
commanding officer, please?
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00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:01,457
OFFICER: Yes?
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Lieutenant Stirling has arrived.
165
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:06,499
Oh, wonderful! I'll be
with her in a minute.
166
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:07,791
"Her"?
167
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,041
I told you we were expecting
a Lieutenant Stirling.
168
00:10:10,124 --> 00:10:11,874
Yeah, but not me, you weren't!
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00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:13,624
Welcome to the WAC.
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00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,374
(GASPS) (MUTTERS)
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00:10:21,249 --> 00:10:22,374
(MUTTERS)
172
00:10:22,457 --> 00:10:23,749
Anything wrong?
173
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,350
Well, there seems
to be a mistake, Major.
174
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,351
Mistake? What do you mean?
175
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,291
Did the new officer report in?
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That's her.
177
00:10:29,874 --> 00:10:30,916
Him.
178
00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:32,041
He?
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00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,374
He's not a she!
180
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,666
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Good afternoon, Major.
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00:10:37,374 --> 00:10:39,142
Would you mind stepping
into my office, Lieutenant?
182
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,541
What's going on, Captain?
183
00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:42,350
I was about to ask
that same question.
184
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,041
He's your retread,
Major Simpson.
185
00:10:44,124 --> 00:10:45,124
He?
186
00:10:45,207 --> 00:10:46,916
Lieutenant Stirling.
187
00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:51,499
"Peter Stirling."
188
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:55,308
Now I understand why our
retread wasn't on that train.
189
00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:56,957
A terrible mistake
has been made.
190
00:10:57,082 --> 00:10:58,957
They sent us a... A man?
191
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:02,416
Good heavens, I certainly
stipulated I wanted a WAC officer!
192
00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:05,207
I guess the words "overseas
experience" confused them.
193
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,308
Make out a request for transfer
194
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,874
and get him out of this area.
195
00:11:07,957 --> 00:11:08,957
Check Post Headquarters.
196
00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:10,308
They can put him up
until we get rid of him.
197
00:11:10,332 --> 00:11:11,749
Yes, Major.
198
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:19,308
Well, Lieutenant.
199
00:11:19,332 --> 00:11:21,124
How does it feel to be a WAC?
200
00:11:21,207 --> 00:11:23,308
Now just a minute, this...
This is a mistake!
201
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:24,332
Uh, isn't it?
202
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,832
I'm afraid you don't quite
fit our physical standard.
203
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,624
Well, naturally not.
A man in the WACs.
204
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:30,707
What do you mean by that?
205
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,291
Uh, I just meant it's funny, that's all.
The WACs.
206
00:11:33,374 --> 00:11:35,082
If there's anything
funny about it,
207
00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:36,624
it's some of you men
who make it so.
208
00:11:36,707 --> 00:11:37,791
Despite your amusement,
209
00:11:37,874 --> 00:11:39,374
we prefer to think
of women in uniform
210
00:11:39,457 --> 00:11:41,267
as a serious business.
Yeah, but, I didn't mean...
211
00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:43,666
Your masculine ego
refuses to admit that...
212
00:11:43,749 --> 00:11:45,308
That the Women's Army Corps
can serve any place
213
00:11:45,332 --> 00:11:47,541
but in kitchens or for clerical work!
Isn't that so?
214
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,041
I didn't say that.
That's what you meant!
215
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,166
Lieutenant Stirling.
216
00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:56,957
For the moment, you've
been assigned to us.
217
00:11:57,207 --> 00:11:58,207
Thinking it over,
218
00:11:58,291 --> 00:12:01,374
it might be very nice to have
a man around the company.
219
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:02,541
Yeah, well...
220
00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:05,291
Yes, yes, to help us
helpless women.
221
00:12:05,666 --> 00:12:07,207
As a hardened combat vet,
222
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,971
you'll no doubt put us
poor women to shame,
223
00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:11,791
but, uh, we'll try
to keep up with you.
224
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,249
Now, now, now, really, sir.
I, uh, madam.
225
00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:16,707
I, no, Captain, I think...
I think the WACs are wonderful.
226
00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:18,999
They're... They're just
wonderful in their place.
227
00:12:20,249 --> 00:12:21,332
In our place!
228
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:22,558
Yes, in your place,
I think you're just...
229
00:12:22,582 --> 00:12:23,582
(DOOR OPENS)
230
00:12:24,416 --> 00:12:25,791
Yes, Corporal Hilstrom?
231
00:12:25,874 --> 00:12:27,291
Post billets
are all filled, ma'am.
232
00:12:27,374 --> 00:12:29,207
Well, Guest Bungalow Six
is unoccupied.
233
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,749
You can put him in there.
234
00:12:30,832 --> 00:12:32,472
Uh-oh. Uh-oh, what
does she mean, "uh-oh"?
235
00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:33,874
Is anything wrong?
236
00:12:33,957 --> 00:12:35,832
No, ma'am, not yet.
237
00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:38,249
But it's a start.
238
00:12:39,374 --> 00:12:41,457
(STAMMERS) What did she mean?
239
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,416
Need I explain? Uh-huh.
240
00:12:43,957 --> 00:12:45,600
Well, Lieutenant, in the
course of your duties with us,
241
00:12:45,624 --> 00:12:48,041
you'll be in contact with
the women of this battalion.
242
00:12:48,249 --> 00:12:49,749
You will avoid any incident.
243
00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:51,041
Uh, incident?
244
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:53,183
Oh, good heavens, Lieutenant,
you had combat in Burma.
245
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,082
Weren't there any
Burmese girls there?
246
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,124
Oh, yes, yes. They
used to sell us things.
247
00:12:57,207 --> 00:12:58,499
I can imagine. Yeah, uh-huh.
248
00:12:58,582 --> 00:13:00,058
I used to take some
of them home with me.
249
00:13:00,082 --> 00:13:01,124
You did? Oh, yes.
250
00:13:01,207 --> 00:13:02,184
The cutest little wood carvings.
251
00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,558
You know, in those little...
Little monkeys that...
252
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,041
You may go now, Lieutenant.
253
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:06,291
Oh, thank you very much.
254
00:13:06,374 --> 00:13:07,999
Oh, uh, where?
255
00:13:08,374 --> 00:13:10,916
You will be assigned the
duties of a WAC officer.
256
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,374
You mean, I'm a WAC?
257
00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:14,416
Until you've had a change
of assignment, yes.
258
00:13:14,499 --> 00:13:15,541
(STAMMERING)
259
00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:17,291
Dismissed! I just...
260
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,666
Well. A WAC. (CHUCKLES)
261
00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:58,916
Fancy earmuffs.
262
00:14:44,207 --> 00:14:45,957
What am I doin' in the WACs?
263
00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:48,416
MALE VOICE: That's
a logical question.
264
00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:50,249
I... Who said that?
265
00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:55,166
Your old, furry cousin.
1000 pounds of loveable mule
266
00:14:55,207 --> 00:14:56,457
on the hoof. Mmm-hmm.
267
00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,374
Well, Francis!
268
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,291
Francis! It couldn't be!
269
00:15:00,374 --> 00:15:02,457
Says you. Well, then it
was you on the train!
270
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:03,541
Yeah.
271
00:15:03,707 --> 00:15:04,916
Boy, am I glad to see you!
272
00:15:04,999 --> 00:15:06,999
Lieutenant, please!
273
00:15:07,082 --> 00:15:09,707
What kind of an indoctrination
are they giving you?
274
00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:10,999
Oh, I'm in terrible trouble.
275
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:12,124
Well, that figures.
276
00:15:12,374 --> 00:15:14,082
Me, Peter Stirling, in the WACs.
277
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:15,582
I'm in and they
won't let me out!
278
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:17,058
(STAMMERING) I don't
wanna be a WAC!
279
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,082
Oh, simmer down, Petey
boy, that's why I'm here.
280
00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:22,058
I heard the
classification machine
281
00:15:22,082 --> 00:15:23,582
at the Pentagon went snafu
282
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:25,749
and tapped you for duty
with the ladies
283
00:15:25,832 --> 00:15:27,041
of the Army Corps. Well...
284
00:15:27,082 --> 00:15:28,267
Oh, so that's how it happened?
285
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,749
And it only could happen to you.
286
00:15:30,957 --> 00:15:32,683
Yeah. Yeah, well, you did
come to get me out?
287
00:15:32,707 --> 00:15:36,041
What a fate! Wet nurse to
an upper-class shavetail!
288
00:15:36,249 --> 00:15:38,499
For this I had
to get myself transferred
289
00:15:38,624 --> 00:15:40,874
to the medical research
lab on this post.
290
00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:42,332
I'm checkin' in in the morning.
291
00:15:42,499 --> 00:15:43,666
Oh, that's wonderful!
292
00:15:43,749 --> 00:15:45,041
Wonderful? Yeah!
293
00:15:45,207 --> 00:15:48,017
They needed a guinea pig
to try their injections on.
294
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,017
So, shake hands
with the guinea pig. Me.
295
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:51,249
Oh, I'm sorry, Francis.
296
00:15:51,332 --> 00:15:52,892
Yeah, but you are gonna
help me out, aren't ya?
297
00:15:52,916 --> 00:15:54,957
Well, I won't be able
to sit for a while
298
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,957
and I hate to stand around
doing nothing.
299
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,791
Oh, thanks, Francis.
Thanks a million!
300
00:16:00,874 --> 00:16:02,624
Oh, Pete, cut that out!
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
301
00:16:02,707 --> 00:16:03,707
What's that? Shh!
302
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:06,017
(WHISPERS) Sounds like
retreat to me.
303
00:16:06,041 --> 00:16:07,207
For you.
304
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,166
Oh, uh, excuse me. Is there,
uh, is something wrong?
305
00:16:17,249 --> 00:16:19,374
We heard voices. You are
supposed to be alone.
306
00:16:19,457 --> 00:16:21,166
Oh. Well, there's
no one here but me.
307
00:16:21,249 --> 00:16:22,874
That's what we were told.
308
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,999
Oh, uh, believe me,
there's no one in it!
309
00:16:30,082 --> 00:16:31,082
What about this?
310
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,499
There's no one in that, either.
311
00:16:33,957 --> 00:16:36,499
Now, if... If I need
you, I'll call you.
312
00:16:36,624 --> 00:16:38,499
I will. I'll call you.
313
00:16:48,332 --> 00:16:50,957
Francis? Francis! Oh.
(CAR WHIRRING)
314
00:16:53,957 --> 00:16:55,933
That's Bungalow Six, Lieutenant.
315
00:16:55,957 --> 00:16:57,041
Thanks, Sergeant.
316
00:16:57,124 --> 00:17:00,082
But are you sure the OD
didn't say Quarter Six?
317
00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:01,332
She said six something.
318
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:03,541
I'll worry about it tomorrow
when I'm not so sleepy.
319
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:04,957
Good night.
320
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,957
Oh, I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
I thought... (GASPS)
321
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:57,041
(SCREAMING)
322
00:18:57,124 --> 00:18:58,225
Please, don't... Don't scream!
323
00:18:58,249 --> 00:18:59,350
(SCREAMS) Please,
please, don't scream.
324
00:18:59,374 --> 00:19:00,374
What are you doing here?
325
00:19:00,457 --> 00:19:01,577
I really am very sorry. I...
326
00:19:01,624 --> 00:19:02,666
(SCREAMS) Shh!
327
00:19:02,749 --> 00:19:04,541
Help! Help! I... Help!
328
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:10,832
(SCREAMS) I'm sorry.
329
00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:12,082
(DOOR OPENS)
330
00:19:12,999 --> 00:19:14,166
Alone, huh?
331
00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:23,100
Now... Now I know
what you're thinking,
332
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,249
but it's not so. Honestly!
333
00:19:24,332 --> 00:19:26,666
You'd better come with us.
Get dressed.
334
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:27,850
Now... Now I know
what you're thinking!
335
00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:29,707
But it's not so, honestly!
336
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,808
Now I know what you're thinking,
but it's not so, honestly.
337
00:19:31,832 --> 00:19:33,957
You can wait outside. I'll
get your report later.
338
00:19:34,082 --> 00:19:35,517
Now I know what you're
thinking, but it's not so...
339
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,374
Lieutenant, I want the truth.
340
00:19:37,457 --> 00:19:39,541
Now, really it was...
It was nothing!
341
00:19:39,624 --> 00:19:40,808
Nothing? Yes.
342
00:19:40,832 --> 00:19:43,957
Two incidents in one night?
Your first night here?
343
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,142
Well, now, believe me, I...
344
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:46,207
Uh, two incidents?
345
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:47,517
What was... What was
the first one?
346
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:48,767
Then you admit
there was a second?
347
00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:49,850
Uh, yeah, no, ma'am.
I just thought
348
00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,142
the second one
was the first one.
349
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,707
Well, we won't discuss
the order of your romances.
350
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,350
You were distinctly heard
speaking to someone
351
00:19:55,374 --> 00:19:57,642
before Lieutenant Dickson arrived.
Who was the other girl?
352
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:58,749
Uh, it wasn't any girl.
353
00:19:58,791 --> 00:19:59,768
It had to be a girl.
354
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,600
There are hundreds of them
stationed in this area.
355
00:20:01,624 --> 00:20:02,767
Nothing but girls.
356
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,916
Not one girl was in my bungalow.
Not... Not one.
357
00:20:04,999 --> 00:20:06,207
What about Lieutenant Dickson?
358
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:08,041
(STAMMERS) Well, I was
there before she was!
359
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,350
That didn't give you the privilege
of making advances to her.
360
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:13,041
(STAMMERING) Why, I didn't.
Why, I didn't.
361
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,267
Don't tell me, she screamed
because you didn't make advances.
362
00:20:15,291 --> 00:20:16,707
Yes, ma'am. Uh, no, ma'am!
363
00:20:16,791 --> 00:20:18,191
(STAMMERS) I don't know
what I mean!
364
00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:20,957
If your motives were so pure,
365
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:22,791
why didn't you
immediately contact the OD
366
00:20:22,874 --> 00:20:24,374
and notify her of the mistake?
367
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:27,249
Well, I couldn't. The lieutenant
was getting undressed.
368
00:20:27,332 --> 00:20:29,749
You... You saw her undressing?
369
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,832
No, ma'am. I shut my eyes.
370
00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:34,683
Then how do you know
she was getting undressed?
371
00:20:34,707 --> 00:20:35,725
(STAMMERS) I don't know!
372
00:20:35,749 --> 00:20:37,725
I... I just thought she
might be, that's all, I...
373
00:20:37,749 --> 00:20:39,332
(STAMMERS)
Well, uh, you gotta...
374
00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:41,600
You gotta take your clothes
off to get into bed, don't you?
375
00:20:41,624 --> 00:20:42,749
I... Now I'm all confused.
376
00:20:42,832 --> 00:20:44,725
I shouldn't wonder.
377
00:20:44,749 --> 00:20:47,541
Lieutenant Stirling, your records
arrived here this afternoon.
378
00:20:47,624 --> 00:20:49,416
They were very interesting.
379
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:50,707
Need any help, toots?
380
00:20:55,666 --> 00:20:56,749
What did you say?
381
00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:59,374
Hmm? I... I didn't say anything.
382
00:21:01,207 --> 00:21:04,332
If you get stuck, you can spend
the night with me in the stable.
383
00:21:04,874 --> 00:21:07,957
Lieutenant, you must fancy
yourself a veritable Don Juan!
384
00:21:08,082 --> 00:21:09,499
Who? No, no, not me!
385
00:21:09,707 --> 00:21:10,808
I know your type, Lieutenant.
386
00:21:10,832 --> 00:21:13,707
You get into trouble and try to
talk yourself into a psycho ward.
387
00:21:13,749 --> 00:21:15,999
You've been in trouble before.
388
00:21:16,707 --> 00:21:19,832
Twenty-seven times in
neuro-psychiatric retention!
389
00:21:20,541 --> 00:21:22,249
That's really gold-bricking.
390
00:21:22,374 --> 00:21:23,433
Well, I tried to tell 'em...
391
00:21:23,457 --> 00:21:25,749
I can see right here what
you tried to tell them,
392
00:21:25,832 --> 00:21:27,683
that a mule talked to you.
393
00:21:27,707 --> 00:21:29,142
They didn't believe me.
And neither would [!
394
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:31,832
So don't pull any of that
mule hanky-panky around here!
395
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,957
Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.
I mean, yes, ma'am!
396
00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:35,291
For lack of clear-cut evidence,
397
00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:37,207
I will not press charges
against you
398
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:39,291
but let me make
one thing quite plain,
399
00:21:39,374 --> 00:21:40,582
until you are transferred out,
400
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:41,707
you are a WAC officer!
401
00:21:41,749 --> 00:21:44,624
You will think as we do
and do as we do.
402
00:21:45,707 --> 00:21:47,707
Everything? Everything!
403
00:21:52,666 --> 00:21:54,207
(TRUMPET BLOWING)
404
00:22:04,082 --> 00:22:05,666
(ALL GIGGLING)
405
00:22:07,249 --> 00:22:09,332
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
406
00:22:25,249 --> 00:22:26,291
WOMAN 1: Come on! Come on!
407
00:22:26,332 --> 00:22:28,666
WOMAN 2: Come on,
we gotta play...
408
00:22:43,166 --> 00:22:45,166
SERGEANT: One, two, three!
409
00:22:45,249 --> 00:22:48,624
One, one, one, two, three!
410
00:22:49,374 --> 00:22:52,624
One, one, one, two, three!
411
00:22:53,374 --> 00:22:54,624
One, one!
412
00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:56,957
One, two, three!
413
00:22:57,416 --> 00:22:58,791
One, one!
414
00:22:59,624 --> 00:23:01,249
One, two, three!
415
00:23:01,499 --> 00:23:02,916
Platoon, halt!
416
00:23:04,624 --> 00:23:06,624
Ma'am, C Company is formed.
417
00:23:09,624 --> 00:23:12,082
Extend to the left. March!
418
00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:28,249
Uh, good morning, Captain.
419
00:23:28,291 --> 00:23:30,707
I'm supposed
to report to Company C.
420
00:23:32,582 --> 00:23:34,874
The Second Platoon leader is ill.
You may fall in there.
421
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,666
(ALL GIGGLING)
422
00:23:40,874 --> 00:23:41,916
There?
423
00:23:41,957 --> 00:23:43,291
Fall in.
424
00:23:45,874 --> 00:23:47,666
You are at attention.
425
00:23:51,374 --> 00:23:53,457
Lieutenant Burke,
take over, please.
426
00:23:53,541 --> 00:23:54,749
Yes, ma'am!
427
00:23:56,332 --> 00:23:58,874
Prepare to exercise! Move!
428
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:20,541
Lieutenant.
429
00:24:21,332 --> 00:24:23,916
Lieutenant! Prepare to exercise.
430
00:24:24,082 --> 00:24:25,207
Move!
431
00:24:29,832 --> 00:24:31,499
(ALL SNORTING)
432
00:24:41,291 --> 00:24:42,999
Our first exercise
433
00:24:43,499 --> 00:24:46,166
is the double
arm swing and leg lift.
434
00:24:47,041 --> 00:24:48,374
Leg lift.
435
00:24:50,499 --> 00:24:52,249
Exercise begins!
436
00:24:52,999 --> 00:24:55,249
Forward, and lift!
437
00:24:55,416 --> 00:24:57,957
And two, and right!
438
00:24:58,374 --> 00:25:00,957
And three, and left!
439
00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:02,832
And four.
440
00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:05,475
Our Don Juan doesn't look so
Don Juan-îsh in the morning.
441
00:25:05,499 --> 00:25:06,476
Oh.
442
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:09,957
This certainly isn't going to help the
morale of your Second Platoon, Jane.
443
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,791
Oh, that
wouldn't matter, Louise.
444
00:25:12,207 --> 00:25:13,892
Maybe it would be better
to drop the Second Platoon
445
00:25:13,916 --> 00:25:15,791
out of the camouflage
operation entirely,
446
00:25:15,874 --> 00:25:18,082
rather than risk their
making a bad showing.
447
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:20,433
We can't go in
with just two platoons.
448
00:25:20,457 --> 00:25:22,249
General Kaye and all of G3 know
449
00:25:22,332 --> 00:25:25,374
we've been training a full
company in camouflage.
450
00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:27,249
How would it look
if we admitted failure?
451
00:25:27,332 --> 00:25:29,957
Our cause would be lost
before we started.
452
00:25:30,124 --> 00:25:32,957
Three and four!
453
00:25:33,374 --> 00:25:36,916
And five and six!
454
00:25:37,457 --> 00:25:39,082
And seven.
455
00:25:39,457 --> 00:25:41,916
And eight, and... (GROANS)
456
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,767
What's the matter,
Lieutenant, out of condition?
457
00:25:43,791 --> 00:25:45,582
Yeah. No, an old back injury.
458
00:25:45,666 --> 00:25:47,582
Looks as if a new one
has been added.
459
00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:49,166
BURKE: And four!
460
00:25:49,249 --> 00:25:50,808
Well, you see, when I
took my basic training,
461
00:25:50,832 --> 00:25:51,933
we didn't have to be acrobats.
462
00:25:51,957 --> 00:25:54,916
Oh, I see. You men went in for
the rugged things, no doubt.
463
00:25:54,957 --> 00:25:57,100
Oh, yes. Obstacle course and
that sort of thing, you know,
464
00:25:57,124 --> 00:25:58,832
scale that wall,
jump that hurdle and...
465
00:25:58,916 --> 00:26:00,017
And climb that landing net...
466
00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:01,392
You mean Confidence
Course, Lieutenant.
467
00:26:01,416 --> 00:26:02,624
We WACs don't use it.
468
00:26:02,707 --> 00:26:03,892
Yeah, well, it is
pretty strenuous.
469
00:26:03,916 --> 00:26:05,332
It wasn't meant for women.
470
00:26:05,416 --> 00:26:06,393
BURKE: And...
471
00:26:06,417 --> 00:26:08,749
I'm sure the women
would appreciate it
472
00:26:08,832 --> 00:26:10,499
if you'd show them
how it's done sometime.
473
00:26:10,582 --> 00:26:11,791
Fine!
474
00:26:11,916 --> 00:26:13,999
Maybe I could even get a
few volunteers to help you.
475
00:26:14,416 --> 00:26:16,416
Wonderful. Uh, me?
476
00:26:16,624 --> 00:26:18,916
Yes, you, Lieutenant. Fall in.
477
00:26:18,999 --> 00:26:22,416
BURKE: And four, and five,
478
00:26:22,707 --> 00:26:26,249
and six, and seven.
479
00:26:29,416 --> 00:26:30,957
(ALL GIGGLING)
480
00:26:32,041 --> 00:26:33,416
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
481
00:26:35,416 --> 00:26:37,041
(ALL CHEERING)
482
00:26:41,416 --> 00:26:43,041
We'll show him!
483
00:27:10,957 --> 00:27:12,332
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
484
00:27:12,374 --> 00:27:13,832
(ALL CHEERING)
485
00:27:26,332 --> 00:27:27,541
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
486
00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:29,308
(ALL GASPING)
487
00:27:29,332 --> 00:27:31,999
WOMAN: Come on, get up!
Get up quick! Yeah!
488
00:28:08,291 --> 00:28:09,832
FRANCIS: Attention!
489
00:28:10,791 --> 00:28:12,207
Fall out!
490
00:28:13,582 --> 00:28:15,082
(EXCLAIMING)
491
00:28:16,291 --> 00:28:18,124
(FRANCIS LAUGHING)
492
00:28:18,874 --> 00:28:21,541
Swimming at this hour of the morning?
Come here!
493
00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:23,541
Francis, I...
494
00:28:23,624 --> 00:28:25,416
Hey, Pete, come here!
495
00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:28,291
On the double!
496
00:28:31,707 --> 00:28:32,933
Francis, that was a dirty trick!
497
00:28:32,957 --> 00:28:33,957
Oh?
498
00:28:34,082 --> 00:28:36,166
What are you doing here?
Haven't you reported in yet?
499
00:28:36,207 --> 00:28:39,124
Yeah, but how I gotta
figure a way to get out.
500
00:28:39,291 --> 00:28:40,268
Yeah, me too.
501
00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:42,267
They've been cutting me to pieces
all morning! (MULES BRAYING)
502
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:43,957
Oh? What are you
looking at, Pete?
503
00:28:47,416 --> 00:28:49,249
Francis? Yours? Huh?
504
00:28:50,249 --> 00:28:52,249
Flatterer. (CHUCKLES)
505
00:28:53,957 --> 00:28:56,166
Come here, cousin.
Come here. What?
506
00:28:56,249 --> 00:28:59,291
Do you know what Major
Simpson's pet project is, huh?
507
00:28:59,374 --> 00:29:01,666
No. Camouflage!
508
00:29:01,749 --> 00:29:03,082
Camouflage, that's a man's job.
509
00:29:03,166 --> 00:29:04,791
Uh, since when?
510
00:29:05,249 --> 00:29:08,374
Every beauty parlor is a
camouflage installation. Yeah.
511
00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:10,225
Well, I never thought of that.
512
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:11,624
Neither did General Kaye!
513
00:29:12,416 --> 00:29:14,082
General Kaye? Uh-huh.
514
00:29:14,207 --> 00:29:15,933
Why, you don't mean old Ben
Kaye, hero of the Burma Road?
515
00:29:15,957 --> 00:29:16,957
Yep.
516
00:29:17,082 --> 00:29:18,475
Well, what's he got to do
with all of this?
517
00:29:18,499 --> 00:29:21,291
Everything. He's in G3
at the Pentagon!
518
00:29:22,124 --> 00:29:23,374
And he's trying to booby-trap
519
00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:25,957
the WAC's whole
camouflage training plan!
520
00:29:26,041 --> 00:29:28,291
Yeah! That's why
he suddenly whipped up
521
00:29:28,374 --> 00:29:29,791
this here demonstration!
522
00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:30,916
What demonstration?
523
00:29:30,999 --> 00:29:32,416
A camouflage operation
in the field,
524
00:29:32,457 --> 00:29:33,457
in two weeks.
525
00:29:33,541 --> 00:29:37,124
Major Simpson's WACs against
a company of combat veterans!
526
00:29:37,457 --> 00:29:41,183
And our "Burma Hero" is bringing
along reporters and congressmen
527
00:29:41,207 --> 00:29:43,183
to laugh the girls right out
of their camouflage suits!
528
00:29:43,207 --> 00:29:44,207
Yeah. Yeah.
529
00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:45,308
Now what are
they all gonna think
530
00:29:45,332 --> 00:29:46,999
when they see a man in the WACs?
531
00:29:47,082 --> 00:29:48,582
Francis, I just gotta
get out of this!
532
00:29:48,624 --> 00:29:50,624
Ooh! Easy, boy.
533
00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:52,874
They snuck up on me
with a square needle.
534
00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:54,166
I'm sorry, Francis, I forgot.
535
00:29:54,207 --> 00:29:55,291
They didn't waste any time.
536
00:29:55,374 --> 00:29:57,041
And I'd suggest
you don't either.
537
00:29:57,124 --> 00:29:58,124
Hey!
538
00:29:58,207 --> 00:30:00,167
There's a shortcut to the
finish line over yonder!
539
00:30:00,207 --> 00:30:01,184
Okay.
540
00:30:01,208 --> 00:30:02,499
Now, that wouldn't be fair.
541
00:30:02,582 --> 00:30:04,749
All is fair in love and war.
542
00:30:04,832 --> 00:30:05,874
Get going!
543
00:30:05,957 --> 00:30:07,350
Well, that girl is way
ahead of me, isn't she?
544
00:30:07,374 --> 00:30:10,166
Mmm-hmm, there is the
understatement of the year.
545
00:30:10,249 --> 00:30:11,957
Come on! Mmm!
546
00:30:13,041 --> 00:30:14,624
(GIRLS CHEERING)
547
00:30:18,707 --> 00:30:20,166
(ALL GROAN)
548
00:30:25,207 --> 00:30:26,832
(ALL CHEERING)
549
00:30:26,916 --> 00:30:28,142
Congratulations! Thank you.
550
00:30:28,166 --> 00:30:29,707
Good work.
551
00:30:31,041 --> 00:30:32,166
(GRUNTS)
552
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:36,791
Are you all right, Lieutenant?
Yeah, I'm... Oh, yeah!
553
00:30:36,874 --> 00:30:37,957
Yes, I, uh...
554
00:30:38,082 --> 00:30:40,558
I just misjudged the height a
little, that's all. Oh! (CHUCKLES)
555
00:30:40,582 --> 00:30:42,957
Oh, well. (CHUCKLES)
556
00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:45,582
Well, that's not all I misjudged.
You WACs are terrific.
557
00:30:45,666 --> 00:30:48,225
(CHUCKLES) You know, I have to admit
that it really wasn't very fair.
558
00:30:48,249 --> 00:30:51,416
You see, Private Wilson
was an Olympic Champion.
559
00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:54,041
Oh. Well, I'm glad to
know that she's human.
560
00:30:54,124 --> 00:30:56,041
I thought she might be
a new secret weapon!
561
00:30:56,124 --> 00:30:59,207
Oh. Here, here,
lean on my shoulder.
562
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:01,332
Oh, thank you.
563
00:31:01,791 --> 00:31:04,999
I'm, uh, glad to know you
WAC officers are human, too.
564
00:31:05,082 --> 00:31:06,100
What do you mean?
565
00:31:06,124 --> 00:31:09,457
Oh, I thought you were hard as nails.
You're really very soft underneath.
566
00:31:10,457 --> 00:31:13,100
I mean, underneath.
Uh, uh, way underneath.
567
00:31:13,124 --> 00:31:14,666
The real you,
568
00:31:14,749 --> 00:31:16,124
that, that's what I mean!
569
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,308
Well, our complexities won't
puzzle you much longer, Lieutenant.
570
00:31:19,332 --> 00:31:22,124
I'm sure Major Simpson
will expedite your transfer.
571
00:31:22,416 --> 00:31:24,207
Oh, I'm not a bit puzzled.
572
00:31:24,291 --> 00:31:26,124
I understand why
you're all so sensitive.
573
00:31:26,207 --> 00:31:29,100
I suppose General Kaye's attitude
does get you on edge. (CHUCKLES)
574
00:31:29,124 --> 00:31:30,916
What do you know
about General Kaye?
575
00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:32,100
Oh, I sure hope you surprise him
576
00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:33,844
when you have your big
camouflage operation.
577
00:31:33,874 --> 00:31:35,082
(CHUCKLING)
578
00:31:35,707 --> 00:31:38,791
Hey, Captain Parker, I... Captain
Parker, I got a wonderful idea!
579
00:31:38,874 --> 00:31:39,957
Now that we're friends,
580
00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:43,082
what do you say we both go to
the Post dance together tonight?
581
00:31:43,374 --> 00:31:44,624
Huh?
582
00:31:46,082 --> 00:31:48,207
Uh... Hmm.
583
00:31:48,916 --> 00:31:50,207
Francis was right,
584
00:31:50,291 --> 00:31:53,457
every WAC is a woman. Except me.
585
00:31:54,082 --> 00:31:55,832
But it's impossible!
586
00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,058
General Kaye just informed
us of the field operation!
587
00:31:58,082 --> 00:32:01,082
No one knows about It here but you and me!
And General Kaye.
588
00:32:01,416 --> 00:32:03,058
The old fox!
589
00:32:03,082 --> 00:32:04,416
I didn't think he'd stoop to it,
590
00:32:04,499 --> 00:32:06,416
but the evidence leads
to only one conclusion!
591
00:32:06,499 --> 00:32:08,791
Lieutenant Stirling was
sent here by General Kaye.
592
00:32:08,874 --> 00:32:10,058
To snoop! Check!
593
00:32:10,082 --> 00:32:12,041
The mistake was no mistake!
594
00:32:12,082 --> 00:32:14,082
General Kaye had Stirling
assigned here by plan!
595
00:32:14,124 --> 00:32:17,166
Very clever of him to send a
spy who looks and acts like...
596
00:32:17,249 --> 00:32:18,749
Like a schlemiel!
597
00:32:18,832 --> 00:32:20,916
Well, if it's fight
the old double-crosser wants,
598
00:32:20,999 --> 00:32:23,041
we'll play his game his way!
How?
599
00:32:23,082 --> 00:32:26,124
We'll try to keep Lieutenant
Stirling here! What?
600
00:32:26,874 --> 00:32:28,416
General Kaye insists
we conduct our
601
00:32:28,499 --> 00:32:30,374
field demonstration
with a full company.
602
00:32:30,457 --> 00:32:32,624
But the morale status of
the Second Platoon is such
603
00:32:32,707 --> 00:32:34,207
that it leaves us
only one course,
604
00:32:34,291 --> 00:32:35,957
to leave them out
of the operation!
605
00:32:36,332 --> 00:32:38,082
But you said he'd raise
an awful holler!
606
00:32:38,291 --> 00:32:41,499
Not if we can blame the condition
of that platoon on a man,
607
00:32:42,041 --> 00:32:43,207
his man!
608
00:32:44,749 --> 00:32:45,874
Send him in!
609
00:32:51,041 --> 00:32:52,041
Lieutenant!
610
00:32:59,416 --> 00:33:00,999
At ease.
611
00:33:01,499 --> 00:33:04,975
Well, Lieutenant, it seems
we have a mutual friend.
612
00:33:04,999 --> 00:33:07,457
Oh, do we? I didn't know.
General Kaye.
613
00:33:07,999 --> 00:33:09,624
Oh, no, I think you're
mistaken, ma'am.
614
00:33:09,707 --> 00:33:11,058
At least, I don't
know him personally.
615
00:33:11,082 --> 00:33:14,541
Well, you knew he was coming here to
review a camouflage demonstration.
616
00:33:14,916 --> 00:33:17,541
Yeah. Well, I, uh, I didn't
think there was any harm.
617
00:33:17,624 --> 00:33:20,124
[, uh, I did happen to mention
to Captain Parker that...
618
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:21,957
Then you did get the
word from General Kaye?
619
00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:23,457
Oh, no, ma'am. I got it from...
620
00:33:23,874 --> 00:33:25,707
Uh, well, you
wouldn't believe me.
621
00:33:25,957 --> 00:33:27,957
Don't tell me you
got it from that mule?
622
00:33:28,582 --> 00:33:30,291
Why, yes. How did you know?
623
00:33:31,707 --> 00:33:35,332
Strangely enough, Lieutenant,
your answer quite satisfies me.
624
00:33:35,957 --> 00:33:38,291
(CHUCKLING) Oh, well. Oh, fine!
(CHUCKLES)
625
00:33:38,374 --> 00:33:40,933
Lieutenant Stirling,
I have decided to make you
626
00:33:40,957 --> 00:33:43,957
the camouflage instructor for
the Second Platoon of Company C.
627
00:33:44,207 --> 00:33:45,707
Oh, well, I...
628
00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:48,249
Me, an instructor for...
For a WAC platoon?
629
00:33:48,332 --> 00:33:50,475
I'm sure, since you're a man,
you won't have any trouble
630
00:33:50,499 --> 00:33:51,933
whipping 'em into shape.
631
00:33:51,957 --> 00:33:54,957
Congratulations, Lieutenant
Stirling, and good luck!
632
00:33:56,916 --> 00:33:58,957
Man coming! (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
633
00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:00,832
Man coming!
634
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:03,957
Attention!
635
00:34:12,874 --> 00:34:13,957
At ease.
636
00:34:14,916 --> 00:34:16,416
Some of you women may be aware
637
00:34:16,499 --> 00:34:18,166
that we were to be
joined by an officer
638
00:34:18,249 --> 00:34:20,541
with experience in
combat conditions.
639
00:34:20,916 --> 00:34:24,166
Through some error, Lieutenant
Stirling was assigned.
640
00:34:24,291 --> 00:34:26,499
Until he is transferred,
he will undertake duties
641
00:34:26,582 --> 00:34:28,892
as your platoon
camouflage instructor.
642
00:34:28,916 --> 00:34:31,916
A man in the WAC? What is this?
That's for me!
643
00:34:31,999 --> 00:34:34,707
Take orders from a man?
But he's so cute.
644
00:34:35,666 --> 00:34:38,791
Well, Lieutenant,
they're all yours.
645
00:34:39,082 --> 00:34:40,291
Take over.
646
00:34:45,832 --> 00:34:46,916
(CLEARS THROAT)
647
00:34:49,374 --> 00:34:51,041
I just don't believe it!
648
00:34:51,499 --> 00:34:53,916
Well, it's true! Now, uh...
649
00:34:54,249 --> 00:34:55,957
I'm supposed to whip
you girls into shape!
650
00:34:56,082 --> 00:34:58,249
You're supposed to what?
651
00:34:58,916 --> 00:35:01,874
Well, uh, that's right, I'm supposed
to whip you girls into shape!
652
00:35:01,916 --> 00:35:04,041
Now I want order
and I want discipline.
653
00:35:04,166 --> 00:35:06,124
There will be no
shirking of duty!
654
00:35:06,207 --> 00:35:08,624
Now, when I say "fall out,”
I mean "fall out”!
655
00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:09,850
And when it comes
time to fall out,
656
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:12,582
we fall out and very fast!
Fall out now, fast!
657
00:35:13,374 --> 00:35:15,332
Platoon, attention!
658
00:35:18,874 --> 00:35:21,041
I said attention!
We are at attention, sir!
659
00:35:21,916 --> 00:35:23,291
You are? Yes, sir!
660
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,457
At ease!
661
00:35:32,749 --> 00:35:34,957
I said, at ease.
I am at ease, sir.
662
00:35:35,874 --> 00:35:37,499
You are? Yes, sir!
663
00:35:42,249 --> 00:35:44,832
Men... Uh, uh, ladles,
664
00:35:44,999 --> 00:35:46,791
now we've all got a job to do.
665
00:35:46,832 --> 00:35:48,832
We've got to be
on the ball, right?
666
00:35:50,624 --> 00:35:52,457
Right. Right.
667
00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:54,041
Let's have a little
close order drill.
668
00:35:54,082 --> 00:35:55,999
Platoon, attention!
669
00:35:57,374 --> 00:35:59,791
Shoulders back!
Suck in your, uh...
670
00:35:59,832 --> 00:36:01,166
(ALL CHUCKLING)
671
00:36:01,249 --> 00:36:03,874
Uh, pull, in your, uh...
(ALL LAUGHING)
672
00:36:03,957 --> 00:36:06,166
Uh, pull out your, uh...
(ALL LAUGHING)
673
00:36:06,249 --> 00:36:07,832
At ease!
674
00:36:08,707 --> 00:36:09,874
All right, fall out.
675
00:36:11,624 --> 00:36:12,808
Fall out!
676
00:36:12,832 --> 00:36:15,832
Lieutenant, we can't fall out
from an "at ease" position.
677
00:36:17,791 --> 00:36:20,082
You always know what's right
when I'm wrong, don't you?
678
00:36:21,832 --> 00:36:23,082
(CLEARS THROAT)
679
00:36:23,832 --> 00:36:25,791
Platoon, attention!
680
00:36:26,374 --> 00:36:27,791
Fall out!
681
00:36:27,874 --> 00:36:30,082
(ALL LAUGHING)
682
00:36:39,791 --> 00:36:41,166
Hey, Francis.
683
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:50,832
Francis?
684
00:36:50,916 --> 00:36:53,457
FRANCIS: Beat it, bud.
You're bad luck to me.
685
00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:55,541
Where are you? Right over here.
686
00:36:55,624 --> 00:36:57,791
They've made a monkey out of me.
687
00:36:58,374 --> 00:37:00,767
Oh, no. Francis.
688
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,017
Francis, what've
they done to you?
689
00:37:02,041 --> 00:37:03,749
Francis, tell me you forgive me.
690
00:37:03,791 --> 00:37:05,267
Tell me you forgive
me, will you, Francis?
691
00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:06,624
Pfft! Please tell me!
692
00:37:06,707 --> 00:37:09,624
Cut out the monkey business!
I'm over here, Petey boy.
693
00:37:12,291 --> 00:37:13,499
You...
694
00:37:13,582 --> 00:37:14,791
Oh, did you scare me!
695
00:37:14,916 --> 00:37:16,541
For a minute, I... Yeah, yeah...
696
00:37:16,624 --> 00:37:18,499
Why, Francis. Huh?
697
00:37:18,624 --> 00:37:21,291
Hey, what've they done to your...
Please, Lieutenant.
698
00:37:21,457 --> 00:37:23,957
I'm gettin' what I deserve
for tryin' to help you!
699
00:37:24,332 --> 00:37:28,082
One more injection and I'll be
ready to buck for rear admiral.
700
00:37:28,166 --> 00:37:30,207
Gee, I'm sorry, Francis.
Is there anything I can do?
701
00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:31,832
I've often wondered.
702
00:37:32,374 --> 00:37:34,207
I can take anything
they can dish out.
703
00:37:34,291 --> 00:37:35,725
Well, I think we're
both getting a bad deal.
704
00:37:35,749 --> 00:37:36,874
I am officially in the WACs.
705
00:37:36,916 --> 00:37:38,749
Heaven help the WACs.
706
00:37:38,874 --> 00:37:40,457
Now, this is no time to joke.
707
00:37:40,541 --> 00:37:43,166
What're we gonna do? I can't
get any place with those girls.
708
00:37:43,249 --> 00:37:45,666
Maybe they're a little choosey.
Yeah.
709
00:37:45,749 --> 00:37:46,726
Oh, you know what I mean.
710
00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:48,457
I've brushed up on my
manual of arms. Yeah.
711
00:37:48,541 --> 00:37:49,683
My close order drill. Yeah.
712
00:37:49,707 --> 00:37:51,957
Et cetera, et cetera. That
should endear you to them.
713
00:37:52,082 --> 00:37:53,374
Psst! Psst!
714
00:37:53,499 --> 00:37:56,707
Uh-oh! Here comes old aspirin tablet.
Yeah. Who? Who?
715
00:37:57,332 --> 00:38:00,291
(LAUGHS) Have you
got a surprise coming.
716
00:38:00,374 --> 00:38:01,707
Oh, boy.
717
00:38:03,207 --> 00:38:04,791
Oh.
718
00:38:04,874 --> 00:38:07,707
Good morning, you
dear little animals!
719
00:38:08,749 --> 00:38:11,457
Here's some breakfast,
you horrid little things.
720
00:38:11,541 --> 00:38:12,749
(SQUEAKING)
721
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,957
Oh, Aunt and Uncle Wiggly,
722
00:38:15,082 --> 00:38:17,957
a big fat carrot for you.
723
00:38:20,666 --> 00:38:22,082
And Rosalind.
724
00:38:22,541 --> 00:38:25,707
Look what nursie
brought you, a banana.
725
00:38:27,707 --> 00:38:30,207
Well, then you eat it later.
Just take it and eat it later.
726
00:38:32,207 --> 00:38:34,874
Peggy, look what I brought you.
727
00:38:34,957 --> 00:38:37,457
Some nice, fresh peanuts.
728
00:38:37,541 --> 00:38:39,832
Good morning, Lieutenant.
Oh, good morning, Lieutenant.
729
00:38:39,957 --> 00:38:41,332
Here's some...
730
00:38:45,457 --> 00:38:47,166
Oh, no. No, you couldn't be.
731
00:38:47,582 --> 00:38:49,457
No, I'm not! I'm not!
Honestly, I'm not!
732
00:38:49,666 --> 00:38:52,642
No, I mean, uh,
one I met in Burma.
733
00:38:52,666 --> 00:38:54,624
It was in a psychopathic ward.
Huh?
734
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,642
Oh, but that, that was somebody
else entirely. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
735
00:38:56,666 --> 00:38:59,124
Yes, he was always weaving baskets.
Is that so?
736
00:38:59,207 --> 00:39:01,041
Crazy as a loon,
huh? A real idiot?
737
00:39:01,124 --> 00:39:03,541
Oh, the cutest little
idiot you ever saw.
738
00:39:03,624 --> 00:39:05,416
Well. Oh? He talked to a mule.
739
00:39:05,499 --> 00:39:08,249
So of course, you couldn't...
Oh, no, I couldn't. (CHUCKLES)
740
00:39:11,874 --> 00:39:13,332
Oh, dear.
741
00:39:16,874 --> 00:39:19,832
Uh, this mule isn't a
friend of yours, is he?
742
00:39:19,957 --> 00:39:21,916
(LAUGHING) Of course not.
743
00:39:21,999 --> 00:39:24,166
I just came in to see the monkeys.
Well,
744
00:39:24,291 --> 00:39:27,832
no insinuations implied, Lieutenant.
Of course not. No.
745
00:39:32,624 --> 00:39:34,749
Let's see. You poor,
dumb little beast.
746
00:39:34,832 --> 00:39:37,124
No reaction whatsoever.
747
00:39:37,207 --> 00:39:39,624
Here, let's take
your temperature.
748
00:39:44,374 --> 00:39:46,582
Well, now there.
Now, stick it in.
749
00:39:46,624 --> 00:39:49,082
Stick it in that dear little
mouth of yours. Up, up.
750
00:39:49,166 --> 00:39:50,582
There you go.
751
00:39:50,624 --> 00:39:51,624
Oh!
752
00:39:53,082 --> 00:39:54,582
For pity's sakes.
753
00:39:55,791 --> 00:39:57,541
No brains, no feeling.
754
00:39:57,832 --> 00:39:59,332
She shouldn't have said that.
755
00:39:59,582 --> 00:40:02,582
He drank a whole bottle
of alcohol yesterday!
756
00:40:02,624 --> 00:40:06,291
Now, you dear little mule, I'm
gonna start you on your pills.
757
00:40:06,582 --> 00:40:08,624
I hope you take them nicely.
758
00:40:14,582 --> 00:40:15,707
No, I...
759
00:40:20,707 --> 00:40:22,166
The old battle axe.
760
00:40:24,582 --> 00:40:27,416
Pills. Takes a pill
to know a pill! Mmm.
761
00:40:27,582 --> 00:40:29,332
Remember that old saddle bag?
Yeah.
762
00:40:29,416 --> 00:40:31,216
Lieutenant Valerie Humpert.
Do I remember her?
763
00:40:31,249 --> 00:40:32,249
Burma. Yeah.
764
00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:33,683
She nursed me through four
sieges of basket weaving!
765
00:40:33,707 --> 00:40:34,808
Uh-huh. Look, things
are getting worse.
766
00:40:34,832 --> 00:40:36,058
We've just gotta get outta here.
Check!
767
00:40:36,082 --> 00:40:37,749
And your old cousin has a plan!
768
00:40:37,832 --> 00:40:40,517
I knew you'd come up with something.
Natch. Now, get this.
769
00:40:40,541 --> 00:40:41,791
Peel a WAC and you got a woman.
770
00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:45,291
Rank or file, they're females
first and last! Right? I guess so.
771
00:40:45,374 --> 00:40:47,832
All right. You can't win a
woman unless you woo her.
772
00:40:47,916 --> 00:40:50,749
A whole platoon? You want me to
woo a whole platoon? Precisely!
773
00:40:50,832 --> 00:40:52,749
Yeah, but I'm not very strong.
774
00:40:52,832 --> 00:40:55,416
Have you got 30 bucks? Why?
775
00:40:55,499 --> 00:40:57,749
Well, there's a special
sale on cologne at the PX.
776
00:40:57,832 --> 00:40:58,957
Cologne?
777
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:03,374
It's called, "Night
In the Casbah."
778
00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:05,517
"Night In The Casbah"? You
mean for the entire platoon?
779
00:41:05,541 --> 00:41:07,041
But of course!
780
00:41:07,374 --> 00:41:09,416
You are such a boy!
781
00:41:09,499 --> 00:41:11,374
Now get goin' and check with me!
782
00:41:12,874 --> 00:41:15,457
Woo a whole platoon?
That's 25 to one.
783
00:41:15,666 --> 00:41:17,499
You're the odds-on favorite!
784
00:41:18,791 --> 00:41:20,416
Eh-eh.
785
00:41:21,666 --> 00:41:22,916
Uh-oh.
786
00:41:25,499 --> 00:41:26,999
Oh, no, not that!
787
00:41:31,499 --> 00:41:34,791
(SIGHS) Now you must take your
pill, you naughty little mule!
788
00:41:35,499 --> 00:41:38,475
Take this great big pill,
now! Open wide!
789
00:41:38,499 --> 00:41:40,124
Up with the little mouth.
790
00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:43,499
Now, that's right!
Put it in for nursie.
791
00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:45,749
There, now. Just one big blow.
792
00:41:47,499 --> 00:41:49,457
(SNORTING) (COUGHING)
793
00:41:49,499 --> 00:41:52,374
You all right, Lieutenant?
You... You all right?
794
00:41:55,874 --> 00:41:58,957
Oh, Lieutenant! Lieutenant!
795
00:42:03,666 --> 00:42:06,207
What's this "Night
In The Casbah" bit?
796
00:42:06,291 --> 00:42:08,582
Huh? Oh. It's just a gift!
797
00:42:09,457 --> 00:42:11,749
Are you as innocent as you look?
798
00:42:11,832 --> 00:42:13,791
Well, I really had an
ulterior motive, you see,
799
00:42:13,874 --> 00:42:15,433
I want you girls to like me.
800
00:42:15,457 --> 00:42:19,332
You mean... You mean you gave
cologne to everybody in the platoon?
801
00:42:19,416 --> 00:42:21,332
Well, yeah. Don't you like it?
802
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:23,457
(LAUGHING) I think
it's wonderful.
803
00:42:23,582 --> 00:42:27,082
You know, if I had a kid brother
I'd like him to be just like you!
804
00:42:27,166 --> 00:42:28,749
(CHUCKLES) I... No...
805
00:42:33,416 --> 00:42:35,541
Oh, Lieutenant! Lieutenant!
(WHISTLES)
806
00:42:36,499 --> 00:42:39,499
Oh, thank you
so much! Thank you!
807
00:42:39,749 --> 00:42:41,124
(CHUCKLES)
808
00:42:42,749 --> 00:42:44,416
(CHUCKLING) (WHISTLING)
809
00:42:44,957 --> 00:42:46,624
Oh, Lieutenant!
810
00:42:47,207 --> 00:42:49,416
You shouldn't have! Now, mmm...
811
00:42:54,416 --> 00:42:57,457
Now, Corporal Hilstrom,
this is against regulations.
812
00:43:00,416 --> 00:43:02,832
Sorry, Captain. It was
just a slip of the lip.
813
00:43:03,957 --> 00:43:06,392
Well, I expect you to be
more careful next time!
814
00:43:06,416 --> 00:43:07,541
Yes, ma'am!
815
00:43:07,624 --> 00:43:09,582
I'll be extra careful next time.
816
00:43:11,207 --> 00:43:12,916
Lieutenant Stirling. Yes, ma'am?
817
00:43:13,041 --> 00:43:16,416
You were out of order. Well, yes. My aim...
My aim is better discipline!
818
00:43:16,832 --> 00:43:19,767
You'd sound a little more convincing if
you wiped that lip rouge off your mouth.
819
00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:21,457
Of course. (CHUCKLES)
820
00:43:21,874 --> 00:43:24,374
I... You know, that Corporal
Hilstrom took me by surprise.
821
00:43:24,541 --> 00:43:27,082
Your life seems to be
full of surprises!
822
00:43:32,499 --> 00:43:34,041
Oh, Lieutenant!
823
00:43:34,291 --> 00:43:35,707
(ALL GIGGLING)
824
00:43:45,707 --> 00:43:47,249
How do you figure that?
825
00:43:47,582 --> 00:43:50,350
Lieutenant Stirling seems
to be trying awfully hard.
826
00:43:50,374 --> 00:43:51,957
Lieutenant Stirling!
827
00:43:52,041 --> 00:43:54,166
There's more to this
than meets the eye!
828
00:43:58,707 --> 00:44:02,041
One, two, three, four,
to the left flank, march!
829
00:44:02,332 --> 00:44:05,957
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
830
00:44:06,041 --> 00:44:09,541
Hut, two, three, four.
Hut, two, three, four.
831
00:44:09,624 --> 00:44:11,874
To the rear, march!
832
00:44:12,332 --> 00:44:14,166
One, two... Lift those legs.
833
00:44:14,249 --> 00:44:15,916
Lift those lovely, lovely legs!
834
00:44:17,166 --> 00:44:19,332
And away we go
to the rear, march!
835
00:44:19,374 --> 00:44:21,374
To the rear, march.
836
00:44:21,541 --> 00:44:23,041
Lift those legs!
837
00:44:23,166 --> 00:44:25,041
You're doin' great,
you beautiful dolls!
838
00:44:25,124 --> 00:44:27,291
Embarrassing! Very embarrassing!
839
00:44:27,332 --> 00:44:29,749
Well, don't you think Lieutenant
Stirling is to be commended?
840
00:44:29,832 --> 00:44:31,957
For what? Double-crossing us?
841
00:44:32,041 --> 00:44:34,308
He lifted that Second Platoon
right out of their slump!
842
00:44:34,332 --> 00:44:35,957
And made us a
target for ridicule.
843
00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:38,332
What do you think General
Kaye will say about this?
844
00:44:38,457 --> 00:44:40,308
A man helped us out!
845
00:44:40,332 --> 00:44:42,541
We couldn't do it
but a man could!
846
00:44:42,957 --> 00:44:44,832
PETER: Lift those
lovely, lovely legs.
847
00:44:47,374 --> 00:44:51,267
Ma'am, General Kaye is waiting
for you at Battalion Headquarters.
848
00:44:51,291 --> 00:44:54,291
General Kaye? But he isn't
due in until tomorrow.
849
00:44:54,457 --> 00:44:56,332
PETER: Lift those
lovely, lovely legs!
850
00:44:56,416 --> 00:44:59,166
I'm going to settle that Lieutenant
Stirling's hash right now!
851
00:44:59,249 --> 00:45:00,874
See you later!
852
00:45:03,291 --> 00:45:06,541
KAYE: Major, you might think
that I'm a stubborn mule.
853
00:45:06,624 --> 00:45:08,267
Just because a few of your women
854
00:45:08,291 --> 00:45:10,624
have developed into adequate
camouflage specialists,
855
00:45:10,707 --> 00:45:13,267
it doesn't mean that you can
flood the service with them.
856
00:45:13,291 --> 00:45:15,124
We've known each other
a long time, General,
857
00:45:15,207 --> 00:45:16,767
and I... I'd even
like to think of us as
858
00:45:16,832 --> 00:45:17,957
being good friends, Louise,
859
00:45:18,041 --> 00:45:19,916
but these wild ideas of yours...
860
00:45:19,957 --> 00:45:22,957
Ben, may I have your permission
to speak freely? Yeah.
861
00:45:23,082 --> 00:45:25,600
Just because you believe women are
fit only to be typewriter jockeys
862
00:45:25,624 --> 00:45:27,291
and telephone operators
doesn't mean that
863
00:45:27,374 --> 00:45:29,124
national defense
should be jeopardized!
864
00:45:29,207 --> 00:45:30,308
We've done pretty
well up to now.
865
00:45:30,332 --> 00:45:31,957
You only have to do badly once.
Louise,
866
00:45:32,041 --> 00:45:35,249
you've got a one-track mind and I
consider it my duty to prove you're wrong.
867
00:45:35,374 --> 00:45:37,916
And I find your methods as
misguided as your views.
868
00:45:37,999 --> 00:45:39,416
My methods are beyond reproach!
869
00:45:39,499 --> 00:45:41,957
I've gone to great lengths to
arrange this demonstration.
870
00:45:42,041 --> 00:45:44,791
You've gone to even greater lengths
to disrupt our morale and snoop!
871
00:45:44,874 --> 00:45:45,874
And what?
872
00:45:45,957 --> 00:45:47,642
Why haven't you approved
Lieutenant Stirling's
873
00:45:47,666 --> 00:45:49,499
transfer out of this
WAC assignment?
874
00:45:49,624 --> 00:45:51,624
I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
875
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,249
Who is this Lieutenant Stirling?
876
00:45:53,332 --> 00:45:55,249
And why should you
want her transferred?
877
00:45:55,332 --> 00:45:57,707
Lieutenant Stirling is not a her!
It's a him. A him?
878
00:45:57,791 --> 00:45:59,916
As if you didn't know! Here?
879
00:45:59,957 --> 00:46:03,416
Yes! A Mata Hari
in men's clothing!
880
00:46:03,541 --> 00:46:06,874
Sent here to carry out his
general's orders! General!
881
00:46:07,207 --> 00:46:09,916
Ben, there are many things on
which we don't see eye to eye,
882
00:46:09,999 --> 00:46:13,183
but up to now I have never questioned
your ethics or sportsmanship.
883
00:46:13,207 --> 00:46:15,167
Now, Louise, if you'll simmer...
But the mere fact
884
00:46:15,207 --> 00:46:17,183
that you had to stoop to
this sort of procedure
885
00:46:17,207 --> 00:46:18,999
to try and beat us
is proof of our
886
00:46:19,082 --> 00:46:20,874
superior skill and ability.
887
00:46:21,041 --> 00:46:22,749
Major, it might be
a good idea for you
888
00:46:22,832 --> 00:46:24,975
to use some of your smart
camouflaging on that sharp tongue
889
00:46:24,999 --> 00:46:27,124
when you're addressing
a superior officer.
890
00:46:30,166 --> 00:46:31,291
I'm sorry, Louise.
891
00:46:31,374 --> 00:46:33,166
This is the first I've
heard about all this.
892
00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:36,207
Naturally, if there's been a
mistake, I'll rectify it at once.
893
00:46:36,666 --> 00:46:38,082
Thank you.
894
00:46:40,957 --> 00:46:43,183
Now about the
demonstration, I've, uh,
895
00:46:43,207 --> 00:46:47,416
selected Piney Woods as the area of
operation, if this is acceptable to you.
896
00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:50,332
A male WAC,
897
00:46:51,832 --> 00:46:53,166
how about that?
898
00:46:55,166 --> 00:46:56,707
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
899
00:46:57,166 --> 00:46:59,142
Just think, in a couple of days
we might be out of this mess.
900
00:46:59,166 --> 00:47:01,874
You're sure your transfer
is going through?
901
00:47:01,999 --> 00:47:04,142
Well, Corporal Hilstrom
heard it from Captain Parker
902
00:47:04,166 --> 00:47:05,999
and Captain Parker got
it from Major Simpson.
903
00:47:06,166 --> 00:47:09,166
Happy day. I couldn't
stand much more.
904
00:47:09,624 --> 00:47:12,166
What Headquarters is
doing to my hindquarters
905
00:47:12,207 --> 00:47:14,541
shouldn't happen In any quarter.
906
00:47:16,166 --> 00:47:18,624
You know, it's gonna be
hard saying goodbye. Yeah?
907
00:47:18,707 --> 00:47:20,291
Francis? Huh?
908
00:47:20,374 --> 00:47:23,142
Do you think it's possible for a guy
to be in love with a whole platoon?
909
00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:25,666
Never heard of it outside
the Marine Corps.
910
00:47:25,749 --> 00:47:28,791
Once knew a Marine who was
engaged to three women.
911
00:47:28,957 --> 00:47:30,291
Yeah? What did he do about it?
912
00:47:30,374 --> 00:47:32,124
They buried him in Arlington.
913
00:47:32,791 --> 00:47:35,124
Sharpened his heels and drove him in.
(CHUCKLES)
914
00:47:35,624 --> 00:47:37,041
Shh. Shh.
915
00:47:44,832 --> 00:47:46,124
Attention!
916
00:47:46,291 --> 00:47:48,457
Come on, Francis.
No games. I'm tired.
917
00:47:49,666 --> 00:47:50,791
Attention!
918
00:47:51,124 --> 00:47:53,957
Now quit making like a
general, you idiot. (HISSING)
919
00:47:54,124 --> 00:47:57,166
Idiot, am I? I could have you
broken for this, Lieutenant!
920
00:47:57,749 --> 00:47:58,957
(LAUGHS)
921
00:47:59,041 --> 00:48:00,624
A jackass break a lieutenant?
922
00:48:00,707 --> 00:48:02,707
Heh, that's a laugh. (CHUCKLES)
923
00:48:02,916 --> 00:48:04,666
Yes, it's a real yuk.
924
00:48:04,874 --> 00:48:06,166
On your feet!
925
00:48:16,291 --> 00:48:17,749
So you're Lieutenant Stirling?
926
00:48:17,832 --> 00:48:19,957
(STUTTERING) Uh, yes, sir.
927
00:48:20,041 --> 00:48:22,058
Looks like we're gettin' kinda
close to the bottom of the barrel.
928
00:48:22,082 --> 00:48:23,166
Yes, sir. Hmm.
929
00:48:23,707 --> 00:48:25,457
See we hit the Burma front together.
Yeah?
930
00:48:25,541 --> 00:48:27,058
I'm General Kaye.
Oh, how do you do, sir.
931
00:48:27,082 --> 00:48:29,957
At ease, Lieutenant.
(STAMMERING) At ease, sir?
932
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,124
I know how you feel,
933
00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:34,916
coming out of a man's army and
being pushed in with these Suzies.
934
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:37,041
A male WAC! Yes, sir.
935
00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:38,416
I hear your little tour of duty
936
00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:40,419
has thrown the ladies into a tizzy.
Uh, yes, sir.
937
00:48:40,457 --> 00:48:42,624
Uh, no, sir! Well, I
try to do my duty, sir.
938
00:48:42,707 --> 00:48:45,249
So I hear, and that's what
I want to talk to you about.
939
00:48:45,332 --> 00:48:48,457
Just between us, Stirling, I
don't think you should overdo it.
940
00:48:48,541 --> 00:48:50,332
Huh? I don't understand, sir.
941
00:48:50,416 --> 00:48:54,499
Well, women just don't appreciate
a man's superior skill and ability.
942
00:48:54,582 --> 00:48:56,017
Oh, yes, sir. Oh, not that
it would matter, sir.
943
00:48:56,041 --> 00:48:57,433
I'm not gonna be with
them much longer.
944
00:48:57,457 --> 00:48:59,666
I'm being transferred
out. I think.
945
00:48:59,749 --> 00:49:03,041
Am I not, sir? Yes, of course, my boy.
Of course.
946
00:49:03,082 --> 00:49:04,999
Might take a little time.
947
00:49:05,624 --> 00:49:08,082
I suppose this was a
little advance celebration?
948
00:49:08,166 --> 00:49:10,041
Oh, yes, sir. Me and Francis.
949
00:49:10,582 --> 00:49:11,832
Francis?
950
00:49:12,041 --> 00:49:13,041
Who's she?
951
00:49:13,249 --> 00:49:15,707
Oh, she is a he.
Uh, he is a mule.
952
00:49:15,999 --> 00:49:17,791
Uh, that that's him
over there, sir.
953
00:49:18,207 --> 00:49:20,166
Celebratin' with a mule?
Hmm. Yes, sir.
954
00:49:23,041 --> 00:49:25,957
Personally, I would've selected
a sweeter smellin' companion.
955
00:49:26,041 --> 00:49:27,457
One not so dumb.
956
00:49:27,541 --> 00:49:30,416
Yeah, but he's a pretty smart mule, sir.
That I doubt.
957
00:49:30,916 --> 00:49:33,291
He reminds me of one
I had in my command.
958
00:49:33,374 --> 00:49:35,582
We had just built a temporary
bridge on the Burma Road,
959
00:49:35,666 --> 00:49:37,916
and this stubborn
creature refused to cross.
960
00:49:37,999 --> 00:49:40,124
Held up the whole company.
We never did get across it.
961
00:49:40,166 --> 00:49:41,749
Never? No. The bridge collapsed
962
00:49:41,832 --> 00:49:44,999
before our very eyes into a
raging, storm-swollen river.
963
00:49:45,082 --> 00:49:46,916
Well, maybe he was
pretty smart, sir.
964
00:49:46,999 --> 00:49:48,416
No. Not this one.
965
00:49:48,749 --> 00:49:50,749
He was just ornery, stupid.
966
00:49:50,999 --> 00:49:52,999
Dumbest animal I ever saw.
967
00:49:53,916 --> 00:49:56,791
Well, I'll leave you to
your little celebration.
968
00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:57,957
Yes, sir.
969
00:49:58,874 --> 00:50:00,291
Uh-huh.
970
00:50:01,957 --> 00:50:03,374
Get him!
971
00:50:04,957 --> 00:50:06,582
Come back here, Pete!
972
00:50:10,457 --> 00:50:12,374
I wish you'd make up your mind!
I'm so mad,
973
00:50:12,457 --> 00:50:16,457
I could blow a gasket! Naturally,
I wouldn't cross that bridge.
974
00:50:16,957 --> 00:50:18,933
You mean that mule was you?
975
00:50:18,957 --> 00:50:21,416
Anybody could see the
pulley system was faulty,
976
00:50:21,499 --> 00:50:23,416
the bridge was
bound to collapse.
977
00:50:23,499 --> 00:50:25,791
Francis, you saved
the whole company.
978
00:50:25,874 --> 00:50:28,499
Yeah, but our hero
got a commendation.
979
00:50:28,957 --> 00:50:33,416
Never mentioned me. "Ornery,
stupid." The old goat.
980
00:50:33,499 --> 00:50:36,624
Yeah, yeah, but I don't understand.
Now... Now his voice
981
00:50:36,707 --> 00:50:38,291
sounds exactly like yours.
982
00:50:38,541 --> 00:50:40,832
It was along about
then I decided
983
00:50:40,916 --> 00:50:42,541
it would be handy
to be able to talk,
984
00:50:42,624 --> 00:50:45,144
particularly like a general, and
as long as I was in his outfit,
985
00:50:45,207 --> 00:50:46,933
it was a built-in goldbrick.
986
00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:48,874
Well, it sounds like
nothin' but trouble.
987
00:50:48,957 --> 00:50:50,374
Am I glad we're
getting out of this!
988
00:50:50,457 --> 00:50:52,933
But we're not getting out.
No. Yeah.
989
00:50:52,957 --> 00:50:54,791
What're you saying?
We gotta get out of this!
990
00:50:54,957 --> 00:50:56,166
Hmm, Petey, my boy,
991
00:50:56,249 --> 00:50:58,916
we're gonna stay long
enough to teach that old...
992
00:50:59,082 --> 00:51:01,416
Well, we're gonna
teach him a lesson!
993
00:51:01,499 --> 00:51:02,624
Oh, no, now you can't!
994
00:51:02,707 --> 00:51:05,457
Oh, you're going to become
a camouflage expert.
995
00:51:05,541 --> 00:51:08,332
Not me, I refuse. I just plain refuse!
Let me see,
996
00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:11,166
the operation will take
place at Piney Woods.
997
00:51:11,291 --> 00:51:13,624
Now, we need a map of that area.
998
00:51:14,207 --> 00:51:17,207
Not me! Now you leave me out of this.
I don't want anything to do with maps.
999
00:51:17,916 --> 00:51:20,124
Naturally, this
is top secret, Pete.
1000
00:51:20,291 --> 00:51:22,291
Major Simpson won't
even tell Company C
1001
00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,041
what route they're
going to follow.
1002
00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:26,374
Not until the night
before the operation.
1003
00:51:26,957 --> 00:51:28,916
Now, starting from Point Able...
1004
00:51:30,374 --> 00:51:31,916
Yeah, that's it.
1005
00:51:32,041 --> 00:51:34,624
Company C, to be
called the White Army,
1006
00:51:34,707 --> 00:51:36,017
is going to try to
move a distance
1007
00:51:36,041 --> 00:51:38,291
of 10 miles to Point Baker.
1008
00:51:39,249 --> 00:51:41,874
You see it there? Atta boy.
1009
00:51:41,916 --> 00:51:45,124
That is, without being spotted
by General Kaye's Blue Army.
1010
00:51:45,749 --> 00:51:48,541
Both these points will be
known to us and the umpire,
1011
00:51:48,624 --> 00:51:50,457
but not to the Blue Army.
1012
00:51:51,124 --> 00:51:54,874
Starting tomorrow, Company C goes
into training on a 24-hour basis.
1013
00:51:55,249 --> 00:51:58,332
Yeah, well, Francis, what do I
know about... You'll learn, my boy.
1014
00:51:58,416 --> 00:52:00,791
Yes, sir, you'll learn.
1015
00:52:01,666 --> 00:52:03,832
Did you deploy your
troops so they can
1016
00:52:03,874 --> 00:52:07,249
be identified and
signaled immediately? Huh?
1017
00:52:07,332 --> 00:52:09,874
Yes. All right. Show me.
Show me.
1018
00:52:19,791 --> 00:52:21,957
Reverse, move!
1019
00:52:24,791 --> 00:52:27,832
I said move! Oh, there you are.
1020
00:52:28,832 --> 00:52:31,374
Oh, my aching back!
1021
00:53:00,916 --> 00:53:02,291
(SCREAMS)
1022
00:53:02,374 --> 00:53:04,749
Oh, a moose!
1023
00:53:04,791 --> 00:53:07,749
Calm down, boy. That's
just an object lesson.
1024
00:53:07,791 --> 00:53:10,291
Camouflage can be offensive
as well as defensive.
1025
00:53:10,374 --> 00:53:13,457
I just wanted to drive that
point through your head!
1026
00:53:13,541 --> 00:53:15,767
You sure took the long way through.
Mmm-hmm.
1027
00:53:15,791 --> 00:53:17,707
Parker! JANE: Oh, good morning.
1028
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,350
Jane, did you take
the topographical map
1029
00:53:21,374 --> 00:53:22,791
of Piney Woods from my desk?
1030
00:53:22,832 --> 00:53:24,767
Well, I wouldn't do that
without your permission, Louise.
1031
00:53:24,791 --> 00:53:26,207
Well, someone did. It's gone!
1032
00:53:26,291 --> 00:53:28,916
And if that map ever gets into
the wrong hands... Wrong hands!
1033
00:53:28,957 --> 00:53:31,041
Oh, you don't think General
Kaye would go that far?
1034
00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:33,749
I think he'd do anything
to prevent our success,
1035
00:53:33,791 --> 00:53:35,541
him and his male WAC, I...
1036
00:53:36,791 --> 00:53:38,791
That's who it was. Stirling!
1037
00:53:40,207 --> 00:53:43,416
It must have been our
dear little lieutenant.
1038
00:53:47,707 --> 00:53:49,749
Lieutenant! Lieutenant!
1039
00:53:52,249 --> 00:53:53,582
As you were.
1040
00:53:53,749 --> 00:53:56,624
I won't beat about the bush,
I want that map! What map?
1041
00:53:56,707 --> 00:53:58,725
The map to Piney Woods,
as if you didn't know,
1042
00:53:58,749 --> 00:53:59,933
and don't tell me you lost it!
1043
00:53:59,957 --> 00:54:02,677
Oh, no, ma'am. I've got it. Not that
it would matter, I memorized it!
1044
00:54:04,082 --> 00:54:07,124
Lieutenant, report to Battalion
Headquarters immediately.
1045
00:54:07,207 --> 00:54:09,725
Go there directly.
Do not speak to anyone!
1046
00:54:09,749 --> 00:54:12,332
Yes, ma'am. I mean yes, sir.
I mean, I mean, yes.
1047
00:54:13,332 --> 00:54:16,666
Nothing, but nothing must
jeopardize the operation.
1048
00:54:17,082 --> 00:54:19,725
Obviously, if he went to the
trouble of memorizing the map,
1049
00:54:19,749 --> 00:54:22,374
the information on it has not
yet gotten to General Kaye.
1050
00:54:22,457 --> 00:54:24,291
I'm going to see
that it never does.
1051
00:54:24,374 --> 00:54:25,791
Send Lieutenant Stirling in.
1052
00:54:28,707 --> 00:54:30,124
Lieutenant Stirling.
1053
00:54:40,666 --> 00:54:41,707
Sit down!
1054
00:54:50,624 --> 00:54:52,183
Lieutenant, I want to know what...
It's not true.
1055
00:54:52,207 --> 00:54:54,166
I'm innocent. I'm not
on General Kaye's side.
1056
00:54:54,249 --> 00:54:56,916
We want you WACs to win. Yeah, we.
"We," Lieutenant Stirling?
1057
00:54:56,957 --> 00:54:58,624
I mean, I. I see.
1058
00:54:58,707 --> 00:55:00,933
Oh, no, no, you don't see. Honestly...
I see the map you stole.
1059
00:55:00,957 --> 00:55:02,207
I didn't steal any map.
1060
00:55:02,291 --> 00:55:04,166
Somebody did. It was borrowed.
1061
00:55:04,249 --> 00:55:05,475
Francis wouldn't steal anything.
1062
00:55:05,499 --> 00:55:07,582
Francis? Who's Francis?
Francis, he's...
1063
00:55:08,207 --> 00:55:09,457
Oh, you wouldn't believe me.
1064
00:55:09,541 --> 00:55:12,082
Don't tell me you're going to
go into that mule routine again!
1065
00:55:12,166 --> 00:55:13,624
Yes, ma'am.
1066
00:55:14,041 --> 00:55:16,642
All right, so there's a mule.
1067
00:55:16,666 --> 00:55:19,374
A mule named Francis.
Yes. Spelled with an "I."
1068
00:55:19,457 --> 00:55:22,207
Just an ordinary mule? Oh,
no, he's not an ordinary mule.
1069
00:55:22,332 --> 00:55:25,374
A mule walked into my office
to borrow a map? Yes, ma'am.
1070
00:55:25,832 --> 00:55:27,874
How do you know he did?
He told me.
1071
00:55:27,957 --> 00:55:30,499
Oh, yes, I forgot.
He talks, too.
1072
00:55:30,582 --> 00:55:31,642
Yeah.
1073
00:55:31,666 --> 00:55:34,874
Well, I know it sounds impossible, why,
I didn't believe it myself at one time.
1074
00:55:34,957 --> 00:55:37,791
But now you do believe he can talk?
I know it!
1075
00:55:37,874 --> 00:55:41,541
And you're willing to stand by
that story, Lieutenant? Definitely!
1076
00:55:41,666 --> 00:55:44,874
Good! It makes what I have
to do that much simpler.
1077
00:55:44,957 --> 00:55:46,166
(STAMMERING)
1078
00:55:46,249 --> 00:55:48,207
Honestly, it's the truth!
I swear, it's...
1079
00:55:48,291 --> 00:55:49,666
I swear it's the truth!
1080
00:55:50,457 --> 00:55:52,374
Don't you worry about a thing.
1081
00:55:52,457 --> 00:55:54,541
We've been through this
before, Lieutenant.
1082
00:55:54,624 --> 00:55:56,017
Yeah, and I don't want
to go through it again.
1083
00:55:56,041 --> 00:56:00,082
Just like old times, they're
using our treatments again.
1084
00:56:00,416 --> 00:56:01,707
Good afternoon, nurse.
1085
00:56:03,624 --> 00:56:07,207
And how's our patient? Oh, just dandy.
Just dandy.
1086
00:56:07,291 --> 00:56:10,874
Do you still think a mule talks to you?
He certainly does!
1087
00:56:10,957 --> 00:56:12,916
You don't have to answer
for Lieutenant Stirling.
1088
00:56:12,957 --> 00:56:14,791
You're asking our questions.
1089
00:56:14,957 --> 00:56:18,041
That's all. That's all.
Yes, you were asking...
1090
00:56:18,124 --> 00:56:19,749
Well, I...
1091
00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:25,166
Oh, yes. Mmm.
1092
00:56:25,249 --> 00:56:28,207
I'll be right outside, Lieutenant.
(CLEARING THROAT)
1093
00:56:29,832 --> 00:56:33,624
Now, this heavy dark mass
represents your mother.
1094
00:56:36,999 --> 00:56:38,666
My mother was a skinny blonde.
1095
00:56:38,957 --> 00:56:41,041
You said Francis was
like a mother to you.
1096
00:56:41,124 --> 00:56:42,964
Oh, no, I said Francis
was like a father to me.
1097
00:56:43,041 --> 00:56:45,416
He helps me and advises
me on everything.
1098
00:56:45,499 --> 00:56:48,558
And you believe he could help
and advise you in this situation?
1099
00:56:48,582 --> 00:56:50,041
You mean you'll
let me talk to him?
1100
00:56:50,124 --> 00:56:51,499
I think it can be arranged.
1101
00:56:51,582 --> 00:56:53,916
Oh, thank you very much, sir!
Thank you! That's really...
1102
00:56:53,999 --> 00:56:56,332
(STAMMERING)
I'm awfully sorry...
1103
00:56:57,249 --> 00:57:01,916
There, there, now. Be my
own dear brave little mule.
1104
00:57:02,624 --> 00:57:04,166
I know it hurts!
1105
00:57:04,249 --> 00:57:06,207
Oh, it hurts me worse
then it does you.
1106
00:57:06,291 --> 00:57:08,874
Oh, we got to get
prettied up, you know.
1107
00:57:08,957 --> 00:57:11,582
Company's coming. Yes, company!
1108
00:57:17,166 --> 00:57:20,499
Now you wait right there
and I'll fix your oatsies.
1109
00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:25,249
Hmm, I'd like to
fix her oatsies.
1110
00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:26,541
Hey!
1111
00:57:28,749 --> 00:57:30,249
Hi, Francis.
1112
00:57:31,749 --> 00:57:34,999
Uh, look, I know you're mad at
me but I had to tell the truth.
1113
00:57:36,541 --> 00:57:38,957
Uh, did he answer you?
1114
00:57:39,374 --> 00:57:42,791
No, he gets this way. Stubborn.
Look, I'm sorry, Francis.
1115
00:57:44,124 --> 00:57:46,416
Oh, it's no use now.
He won't talk to me.
1116
00:57:46,541 --> 00:57:48,582
No, I'm sure he won't.
Come, Lieutenant.
1117
00:57:48,707 --> 00:57:50,499
Now, no hard feelings, Francis.
1118
00:57:51,082 --> 00:57:52,666
Come up and see
my paintings sometime.
1119
00:58:03,124 --> 00:58:04,499
Hello.
1120
00:58:06,332 --> 00:58:07,916
Hello, uh, Francis.
1121
00:58:10,041 --> 00:58:11,041
(SCOFFS)
1122
00:58:12,874 --> 00:58:14,249
Goodbye, cutie.
1123
00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:15,999
Ah! (SCREAMING)
1124
00:58:30,624 --> 00:58:32,582
Oh... (SIGHS)
1125
00:58:33,416 --> 00:58:34,666
What's the matter?
1126
00:58:37,124 --> 00:58:38,916
He spoke to me.
1127
00:58:39,416 --> 00:58:41,457
Well, at least I thought he did.
Who?
1128
00:58:44,332 --> 00:58:45,499
Francis. The mule!
1129
00:58:45,624 --> 00:58:49,457
(LAUGHS) Oh, you dreamt it.
No, no, no, he said...
1130
00:58:49,999 --> 00:58:51,457
Oh, he said...
1131
00:58:51,749 --> 00:58:54,957
Well, he said, "Goodbye,
cutie." (LAUGHING) Oh, look.
1132
00:58:55,041 --> 00:58:58,874
Why don't you knock off for the
rest of the day. Take it easy.
1133
00:58:58,957 --> 00:59:00,291
(SIGHS)
1134
00:59:00,374 --> 00:59:03,416
Maybe I'd better.
A mule! (LAUGHS)
1135
00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:07,041
Cutie! Uh?
1136
00:59:20,416 --> 00:59:21,832
(CLICKING)
1137
00:59:22,291 --> 00:59:24,166
(CLICKING)
1138
00:59:27,499 --> 00:59:30,499
(SNORTING) (SNORTING)
1139
00:59:32,374 --> 00:59:34,207
(IMITATING NEIGHING)
1140
00:59:34,332 --> 00:59:36,832
You know something, you look
like a horse too, Major.
1141
00:59:36,999 --> 00:59:38,416
(SCREAMING)
1142
00:59:49,207 --> 00:59:50,957
You wanted to see me, Louise?
1143
00:59:56,082 --> 00:59:57,499
You too? Huh?
1144
00:59:58,124 --> 01:00:00,374
Oh, no. It's just a hobby.
1145
01:00:00,416 --> 01:00:01,832
Since when?
1146
01:00:02,999 --> 01:00:04,374
Since last night.
1147
01:00:04,874 --> 01:00:05,957
The mule?
1148
01:00:06,041 --> 01:00:09,374
He not only spoke to me, he
sounded just like General Kaye.
1149
01:00:09,707 --> 01:00:11,624
Like General Kaye?
1150
01:00:11,707 --> 01:00:13,749
Oh, you've got it real bad!
1151
01:00:13,832 --> 01:00:15,957
You're one to talk, "cutie"!
1152
01:00:16,457 --> 01:00:18,291
Now I've got it all figured out.
1153
01:00:18,374 --> 01:00:20,207
It has to be ventriloquism.
1154
01:00:20,457 --> 01:00:21,874
Of course!
1155
01:00:21,957 --> 01:00:23,374
You mean Lieutenant Stirling.
1156
01:00:23,957 --> 01:00:26,249
Oh, I didn't say it was
Lieutenant Stirling. I...
1157
01:00:26,374 --> 01:00:29,374
Uh, why I could be wrong about the
whole thing. It had to be Stirling.
1158
01:00:29,416 --> 01:00:31,874
But he wasn't even there.
How do we know?
1159
01:00:31,957 --> 01:00:34,124
The medical lab is part
of the hospital installation.
1160
01:00:34,207 --> 01:00:36,350
All the buildings are grouped together.
(PEOPLE YELLING IN DISTANCE)
1161
01:00:36,374 --> 01:00:39,832
Oh, you mean it's another one of
General Kaye's morale breakers?
1162
01:00:39,916 --> 01:00:42,249
(YELLING INTENSIFIES)
1163
01:00:48,124 --> 01:00:50,041
(ALL WHISTLING)
1164
01:01:02,624 --> 01:01:06,166
You gentlemen of the press will
be briefed later by Major Simpson.
1165
01:01:06,332 --> 01:01:07,932
From my point of view
I can only tell you
1166
01:01:07,957 --> 01:01:10,916
that the operation will start
at dawn tomorrow and finish.
1167
01:01:11,082 --> 01:01:13,308
(LAUGHING) before it starts.
1168
01:01:13,332 --> 01:01:14,749
Well, what happens
if you spot them?
1169
01:01:14,832 --> 01:01:17,166
Do you shoot them down?
Heck, no.
1170
01:01:17,249 --> 01:01:19,308
We need them behind
the typewriters.
1171
01:01:19,332 --> 01:01:21,291
We're using a kind
of a genteel ammo.
1172
01:01:21,332 --> 01:01:23,267
Squirt guns with liquid dye.
1173
01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:26,457
That way we can tell which of the ladies
has been spotted and disqualified.
1174
01:01:26,541 --> 01:01:29,624
(CHUCKLES) The White Army isn't
going to be white very long.
1175
01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:33,291
Major, show these gentlemen
to their quarters.
1176
01:01:34,582 --> 01:01:35,999
John?
1177
01:01:37,291 --> 01:01:38,832
See you at six in the
morning, General.
1178
01:01:38,916 --> 01:01:41,791
(CHUCKLES) You'll be back
in the sack at seven, Jack.
1179
01:01:46,291 --> 01:01:49,582
Good morning, Major. I hope your
little army is fit and ready.
1180
01:01:49,666 --> 01:01:50,957
(GASPING)
1181
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:52,957
Oh, I...
1182
01:01:53,041 --> 01:01:54,416
I thought you were a mule.
1183
01:01:54,666 --> 01:01:55,749
A what?
1184
01:01:56,124 --> 01:01:58,374
Oh, I mean a jackass. I...
1185
01:01:58,457 --> 01:02:01,291
Now wait a minute, uh...
She means a talking mule.
1186
01:02:01,374 --> 01:02:03,666
We've both been the victims
of your ventriloquist.
1187
01:02:03,749 --> 01:02:06,249
Ventriloquist? Talking mule?
1188
01:02:07,499 --> 01:02:08,541
You both ill?
1189
01:02:08,624 --> 01:02:10,499
Oh, please, let's not
go through that again.
1190
01:02:10,582 --> 01:02:12,225
I mean Lieutenant Stirling.
1191
01:02:12,249 --> 01:02:14,707
Oh, Stirling. Yes.
I met him and his mule.
1192
01:02:14,791 --> 01:02:16,624
What do you mean
the animal talks?
1193
01:02:16,707 --> 01:02:18,707
Well... Well, what
did it talk about?
1194
01:02:18,791 --> 01:02:19,999
Well, for one thing, he...
1195
01:02:20,082 --> 01:02:22,582
It called Captain
Parker "cutie."
1196
01:02:23,249 --> 01:02:25,166
Cutie? Excuse me.
1197
01:02:25,249 --> 01:02:26,541
(CHUCKLES)
1198
01:02:26,749 --> 01:02:28,207
A real army mule.
1199
01:02:28,249 --> 01:02:29,499
(DOOR OPENS)
1200
01:02:30,082 --> 01:02:31,249
(DOOR CLOSES)
1201
01:02:31,291 --> 01:02:33,332
What did he call you, Louise?
1202
01:02:33,416 --> 01:02:35,666
I'd rather not say.
1203
01:02:36,499 --> 01:02:38,874
What made you
suspect ventriloquism?
1204
01:02:38,957 --> 01:02:41,957
Well, for one thing,
he talked exactly like you.
1205
01:02:42,082 --> 01:02:43,457
Now wait a minute, Major.
1206
01:02:43,541 --> 01:02:45,582
You may be a woman, but
you're also an Army officer
1207
01:02:45,666 --> 01:02:47,183
and there's such
a thing a respect.
1208
01:02:47,207 --> 01:02:48,416
But it's true.
1209
01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:49,999
He talked exactly like you.
1210
01:02:50,082 --> 01:02:51,082
Oh, Major.
1211
01:02:51,166 --> 01:02:53,707
No insubordination
intended, believe me.
1212
01:02:53,791 --> 01:02:55,416
If anyone's guilty
of such a thing,
1213
01:02:55,499 --> 01:02:56,707
it's your Lieutenant Stirling.
1214
01:02:56,749 --> 01:02:58,916
Why do you keep insinuating
I have something
1215
01:02:58,999 --> 01:03:02,666
to do with this Lieutenant
Stirling and his talking mule?
1216
01:03:02,749 --> 01:03:04,183
Well, haven't you, General?
1217
01:03:04,207 --> 01:03:07,666
I'll soon settle your mind on that.
Where is this Stirling?
1218
01:03:08,499 --> 01:03:11,207
In, uh, in the psycho ward.
1219
01:03:13,207 --> 01:03:15,832
What? Well, where's the mule?
1220
01:03:15,916 --> 01:03:17,183
In the barn.
1221
01:03:17,207 --> 01:03:20,183
I can hardly believe this.
This is too normal.
1222
01:03:20,207 --> 01:03:22,499
I'd like to have a look
at this mule.
1223
01:03:27,541 --> 01:03:28,666
Hiya, Francis.
1224
01:03:28,707 --> 01:03:30,374
Beat it. Get lost.
1225
01:03:30,457 --> 01:03:32,207
I just had to sneak
out and apologize!
1226
01:03:32,291 --> 01:03:34,832
Amscray, before
they find you here.
1227
01:03:34,916 --> 01:03:36,517
I suppose you think I'm a
stupid idiot, don't you?
1228
01:03:36,541 --> 01:03:39,142
With you, Pete, that's
par for the course!
1229
01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,767
Yeah, but I just did
what you told me to do!
1230
01:03:40,791 --> 01:03:43,142
I didn't tell you to
mess up the whole detail.
1231
01:03:43,166 --> 01:03:46,142
You know how much it means to
me to win this old ballgame.
1232
01:03:46,166 --> 01:03:48,457
Well, me too. Well,
we're out of the runnin'.
1233
01:03:48,541 --> 01:03:50,832
And that ain't all. Have you
checked your platoon lately?
1234
01:03:50,916 --> 01:03:52,166
How could I?
1235
01:03:52,249 --> 01:03:54,124
They've fallen apart.
1236
01:03:54,166 --> 01:03:55,832
But why? They were
doing so great.
1237
01:03:55,916 --> 01:03:58,457
Morale, boy, morale. Yeah.
1238
01:03:58,749 --> 01:04:00,541
When they discovered
you were in psycho
1239
01:04:00,624 --> 01:04:02,541
and they'd been gettin'
camouflage instruction
1240
01:04:02,624 --> 01:04:04,207
from a mental case, well...
1241
01:04:04,291 --> 01:04:05,541
(DOOR OPENING) Shh. Shh. Pete.
1242
01:04:05,624 --> 01:04:07,166
Hit the dirt.
1243
01:04:09,332 --> 01:04:10,499
It's over here, Ben.
1244
01:04:10,582 --> 01:04:12,874
Oh, I've had mules
in my outfit before.
1245
01:04:12,957 --> 01:04:15,124
None of 'em could ever talk.
1246
01:04:15,166 --> 01:04:16,457
Yes.
1247
01:04:17,124 --> 01:04:20,100
This is the beast I saw out
near the Confidence Course.
1248
01:04:20,124 --> 01:04:22,124
Mangy lookin' creature.
1249
01:04:25,124 --> 01:04:27,332
So, you're the
talking mule, huh?
1250
01:04:27,791 --> 01:04:30,041
All right, talk it up.
1251
01:04:34,207 --> 01:04:37,124
This is all utter nonsense!
1252
01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:40,249
What do you mean,
utter nonsense?
1253
01:04:41,291 --> 01:04:42,374
(SNORTING)
1254
01:04:43,041 --> 01:04:44,124
Hmm-hmm.
1255
01:04:52,041 --> 01:04:53,999
Did you hear somethin'?
I heard you talk.
1256
01:04:54,082 --> 01:04:55,916
Well, so did I. Me?
1257
01:04:55,999 --> 01:04:57,624
It was the mule.
1258
01:04:58,957 --> 01:05:01,957
Mule, did you say something?
1259
01:05:03,582 --> 01:05:05,082
Come on, speak up!
1260
01:05:05,166 --> 01:05:07,457
Are you givin' me permission
to sound off, sir?
1261
01:05:10,541 --> 01:05:12,749
Permission granted! Sound off!
1262
01:05:13,082 --> 01:05:14,207
Well, to start with,
1263
01:05:14,291 --> 01:05:17,082
you're a narrow-minded
fuddy-duddy.
1264
01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:19,100
You probably think the top brass
1265
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:22,058
is the machinery that
runs this man's army.
1266
01:05:22,082 --> 01:05:23,416
Horsefeathers!
1267
01:05:24,124 --> 01:05:26,082
Now, you take these WACs.
1268
01:05:26,332 --> 01:05:29,666
Everyone knows that women are here to stay.
But not you.
1269
01:05:30,582 --> 01:05:33,017
You've got the idea
they're in the service
1270
01:05:33,041 --> 01:05:35,499
just to keep your
memos circulating.
1271
01:05:36,582 --> 01:05:38,957
This is the most ridiculous...
1272
01:05:41,041 --> 01:05:42,041
Lieutenant Stirling.
1273
01:05:42,124 --> 01:05:43,541
KAYE: So, that's it.
1274
01:05:44,041 --> 01:05:46,832
Huh! Just as we thought.
Ventriloquism.
1275
01:05:47,041 --> 01:05:48,832
You were right, Louise.
1276
01:05:49,916 --> 01:05:51,582
On your feet, Lieutenant!
1277
01:05:52,499 --> 01:05:55,017
A narrow-minded fuddy-duddy, huh?
Pig-headed, huh?
1278
01:05:55,041 --> 01:05:57,100
Yeah, well, no, sir. If you
are, sir, I didn't say so, sir.
1279
01:05:57,124 --> 01:05:58,332
Tell him, Francis.
1280
01:05:58,416 --> 01:05:59,475
Tell him he's a narrow-minded,
1281
01:05:59,499 --> 01:06:01,017
pig-headed old fuddy-duddy.
1282
01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:02,499
I mean, tell him you said so.
1283
01:06:02,582 --> 01:06:03,725
I've heard enough
from this mule!
1284
01:06:03,749 --> 01:06:05,017
You did give him permission
to sound off, sir.
1285
01:06:05,041 --> 01:06:07,582
And I sure like the
sound he made, General.
1286
01:06:07,666 --> 01:06:09,957
We won't discuss the
opinions of a sick mind.
1287
01:06:10,041 --> 01:06:11,957
This boy needs medical care.
1288
01:06:12,041 --> 01:06:14,916
Put him back in psycho where
he belongs and keep him there!
1289
01:06:18,999 --> 01:06:20,225
Now... Now look
what you've done!
1290
01:06:20,249 --> 01:06:22,999
How could you do this
to me? How? Huh, how?
1291
01:06:33,249 --> 01:06:35,332
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1292
01:06:48,916 --> 01:06:49,933
Yes, Sergeant?
1293
01:06:49,957 --> 01:06:51,541
Leemy can't find
her helmet liner
1294
01:06:51,624 --> 01:06:53,374
and Cassidy thinks
she's got a fever.
1295
01:06:53,457 --> 01:06:55,707
If you ask me, your whole
platoon's dogging it.
1296
01:06:55,791 --> 01:06:57,142
Well, we just haven't
been the same
1297
01:06:57,166 --> 01:06:59,832
since we found out what happened
to poor Lieutenant Stirling.
1298
01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:02,624
Don't you think you women are
carrying loyalty a little too far?
1299
01:07:03,582 --> 01:07:05,707
WOMAN: All right, girls.
Come on, now. Let's get busy!
1300
01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:09,332
FRANCIS: (SOFTLY) Hey, Cutie.
1301
01:07:11,499 --> 01:07:12,874
Captain.
1302
01:07:13,582 --> 01:07:14,791
Come on over here.
1303
01:07:15,957 --> 01:07:17,957
Come on. On the double.
1304
01:07:29,124 --> 01:07:30,957
Back of this truck.
1305
01:07:36,749 --> 01:07:38,582
Hey, Captain.
1306
01:07:38,999 --> 01:07:40,457
Back here.
1307
01:07:48,791 --> 01:07:50,916
Oh, don't be frightened.
1308
01:07:52,499 --> 01:07:53,892
Relax.
1309
01:07:53,916 --> 01:07:57,249
The next voice you hear
is mine and nobody else's.
1310
01:07:57,332 --> 01:07:58,624
Yeah.
1311
01:07:58,707 --> 01:08:01,707
The trouble with you, babe, is
that you look like a hot tamale
1312
01:08:01,791 --> 01:08:03,832
and act like a frozen custard.
1313
01:08:04,207 --> 01:08:06,874
Do you know the best thing
that could happen to you?
1314
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:08,291
Don't answer that.
1315
01:08:08,374 --> 01:08:10,624
Lose those captain's bars
for a couple hours!
1316
01:08:10,707 --> 01:08:13,082
Act like a woman.
Break a few rules.
1317
01:08:13,249 --> 01:08:16,291
You like Pete, don't you? Yeah.
1318
01:08:16,582 --> 01:08:19,541
And you want to believe that
he's on your side! Yeah!
1319
01:08:19,707 --> 01:08:20,850
Well, he is.
1320
01:08:20,874 --> 01:08:22,624
What's more, he could
help this operation.
1321
01:08:22,707 --> 01:08:25,874
He could pull that Second Platoon
right into line again. Check?
1322
01:08:26,499 --> 01:08:28,332
Well, what're you waitin' for?
1323
01:08:28,416 --> 01:08:31,707
Bust him outta that nuthouse
and let's put him into action.
1324
01:08:31,791 --> 01:08:32,999
Get goin'.
1325
01:08:34,082 --> 01:08:35,291
(CHUCKLES)
1326
01:08:35,374 --> 01:08:36,624
Typical.
1327
01:08:36,707 --> 01:08:39,749
Once those icebergs melt,
there ain't no stopping 'em.
1328
01:08:44,582 --> 01:08:45,707
Can I help you, Captain?
1329
01:08:45,791 --> 01:08:48,624
I'd like to see Lieutenant
Stirling, please.
1330
01:08:48,707 --> 01:08:50,582
Uh, in... In here, ma'am.
1331
01:08:50,666 --> 01:08:52,041
Oh, thank you.
1332
01:09:02,541 --> 01:09:04,499
Lieutenant Stirling.
Just a minute...
1333
01:09:04,582 --> 01:09:05,808
Well, Captain Parker!
1334
01:09:05,832 --> 01:09:08,791
I want to apologize. I know now
it's all a horrible mistake.
1335
01:09:08,832 --> 01:09:10,017
Oh, well, it's not
so horrible now.
1336
01:09:10,041 --> 01:09:12,249
Captain, the Lieutenant
is a very sick man.
1337
01:09:12,332 --> 01:09:15,041
Oh, he's no sicker than I am.
And he's got a job to do!
1338
01:09:15,124 --> 01:09:16,166
Your platoon needs you,
1339
01:09:16,249 --> 01:09:18,142
and that means the camouflage
operation needs you.
1340
01:09:18,166 --> 01:09:20,582
But he's a man! He's also a WAC!
1341
01:09:20,666 --> 01:09:22,957
Lieutenant Stirling, I want
you to join your platoon.
1342
01:09:23,166 --> 01:09:24,808
Captain, that's against orders.
1343
01:09:24,832 --> 01:09:26,124
Orders! This is war!
1344
01:09:26,207 --> 01:09:28,166
And you're in the army,
too, Lieutenant Humpert.
1345
01:09:28,249 --> 01:09:30,457
And tomorrow we'll be fighting
your battle out there.
1346
01:09:30,541 --> 01:09:32,541
But it is against orders.
1347
01:09:33,124 --> 01:09:34,791
Lieutenant...
1348
01:09:36,832 --> 01:09:37,957
What do you say?
1349
01:09:38,041 --> 01:09:40,041
Well, it's orders are orders,
1350
01:09:40,124 --> 01:09:42,791
and you heard me tell
the captain, orders.
1351
01:09:43,332 --> 01:09:44,916
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
1352
01:09:44,999 --> 01:09:46,291
Well!
1353
01:09:46,791 --> 01:09:49,124
What you want me to do?
Just anything!
1354
01:09:49,207 --> 01:09:50,874
Well, we've got to
smuggle him out of here
1355
01:09:50,957 --> 01:09:52,707
past that guard.
1356
01:09:53,666 --> 01:09:56,291
Hey, you could lend
him your uniform.
1357
01:09:56,374 --> 01:09:58,054
Why, yes. You could lend me...
Her uniform?
1358
01:09:58,124 --> 01:09:59,332
A woman's uniform?
1359
01:09:59,416 --> 01:10:00,457
He's a WAC, isn't he?
1360
01:10:00,541 --> 01:10:02,142
Oh, now wait. Things are going
just a little bit too far.
1361
01:10:02,166 --> 01:10:03,666
Well, you want to
help us, don't you?
1362
01:10:03,749 --> 01:10:04,767
(STAMMERS) Well, yeah, but I...
1363
01:10:04,791 --> 01:10:06,249
Lieutenant, all those
women need you.
1364
01:10:06,332 --> 01:10:08,332
Uh, really? Well, I...
1365
01:10:08,416 --> 01:10:09,767
Quick! You've got
to get undressed!
1366
01:10:09,791 --> 01:10:10,768
Undressed? Yes. Yes!
1367
01:10:10,792 --> 01:10:12,767
Well, how much of my uniform?
1368
01:10:12,791 --> 01:10:14,916
Uh, do you think just
the outside would do?
1369
01:10:14,957 --> 01:10:17,374
Well, I'm afraid what I've
got to put inside won't do!
1370
01:10:17,457 --> 01:10:19,791
Hurry. We haven't got much time.
1371
01:10:19,874 --> 01:10:21,249
Quick! (STAMMERS)
1372
01:10:21,332 --> 01:10:23,132
I don't know whether I
want to do this or not.
1373
01:10:23,166 --> 01:10:24,725
Now, really, I...
Give me your bathrobe!
1374
01:10:24,749 --> 01:10:25,999
Oh, for heaven's sake.
1375
01:10:26,082 --> 01:10:28,124
Now your pajamas. My pajamas?
1376
01:10:28,416 --> 01:10:29,499
Here's the robe.
1377
01:10:29,582 --> 01:10:30,933
HUMPERT: Yes, and...
And here's my dress!
1378
01:10:30,957 --> 01:10:31,957
Hurry!
1379
01:10:32,041 --> 01:10:33,975
I don't know whether it'll fit or not!
Oh, that doesn't matter.
1380
01:10:33,999 --> 01:10:36,041
He's such a little thing.
And here's the slip.
1381
01:10:36,124 --> 01:10:38,041
Yes. Tell him to
squeeze into it.
1382
01:10:38,124 --> 01:10:39,249
Here they are!
1383
01:10:39,332 --> 01:10:41,725
Okay. Now, if I catch
cold, I'm gonna blame you.
1384
01:10:41,749 --> 01:10:44,332
Oh, these are just the tops.
I've gotta have the bottoms, too.
1385
01:10:44,416 --> 01:10:46,416
The bottoms, too? Yes. Hurry!
1386
01:10:46,499 --> 01:10:47,749
Okay.
1387
01:10:49,457 --> 01:10:51,725
Quick! The girls
will be leaving.
1388
01:10:51,749 --> 01:10:53,457
HUMPERT: Oh, I'm so cold. Here!
1389
01:10:53,541 --> 01:10:54,832
Oh, my. Do you think it would...
1390
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:56,017
Now the shoes and stockings.
1391
01:10:56,041 --> 01:10:59,416
The shoes and the... Oh, do I
have to take them off, too? My.
1392
01:10:59,666 --> 01:11:02,082
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
1393
01:11:02,374 --> 01:11:04,291
No, it's Superwoman.
1394
01:11:04,541 --> 01:11:05,957
Very funny. Very funny.
1395
01:11:06,082 --> 01:11:07,499
I'll bet you got me into this.
1396
01:11:07,582 --> 01:11:09,374
And trés chic, too.
1397
01:11:09,457 --> 01:11:10,749
(LAUGHS)
1398
01:11:14,124 --> 01:11:15,916
Oh-oh! Hey!
1399
01:11:16,707 --> 01:11:18,707
Oh, why did I ever...
1400
01:11:18,957 --> 01:11:21,582
Oh! Spaceship number seven.
1401
01:11:21,666 --> 01:11:23,707
I'm getting you
clearly. Mmm-hmm.
1402
01:11:23,999 --> 01:11:25,957
Oh, General. Oh.
1403
01:11:26,624 --> 01:11:29,707
No, nursie, just your darling
little mule talking to you.
1404
01:11:29,749 --> 01:11:30,749
Oh.
1405
01:11:33,166 --> 01:11:35,707
(CHUCKLES) You are such a girl.
1406
01:11:36,499 --> 01:11:38,707
No, no, no!
1407
01:11:39,249 --> 01:11:41,332
Yes, yes, yes!
1408
01:11:41,416 --> 01:11:44,791
And no time to faint until we
get lover boy put together.
1409
01:11:45,332 --> 01:11:48,207
Well, just don't stand
there with egg on your face!
1410
01:11:48,332 --> 01:11:50,499
No, (STAMMERS) I was just going.
1411
01:11:50,582 --> 01:11:51,582
Get goin'!
1412
01:11:52,249 --> 01:11:54,624
What's taking you
so long, Lieutenant?
1413
01:11:54,666 --> 01:11:57,267
Well, it's just that I'm not used to
getting in these things, that's all.
1414
01:11:57,291 --> 01:12:00,041
Captain, what're you going to use
for hair on your new sister WAC?
1415
01:12:00,332 --> 01:12:02,666
That's right. We've got to
fake a wig out of something.
1416
01:12:02,707 --> 01:12:04,666
A wig? Oh, no.
1417
01:12:05,291 --> 01:12:06,999
I've got it. Horsehair!
1418
01:12:07,082 --> 01:12:08,207
How about it, Francis?
1419
01:12:08,291 --> 01:12:11,041
Horsehair? Me and my big mouth.
1420
01:12:11,249 --> 01:12:13,666
Well, anything for the cause.
Get the scissors.
1421
01:12:13,707 --> 01:12:15,166
Oh, scissors. Scissors!
1422
01:12:15,249 --> 01:12:16,707
Yeah. FRANCIS: Come on, Nurse!
1423
01:12:16,791 --> 01:12:19,041
They're over here. Here they are.
Oh, there!
1424
01:12:20,957 --> 01:12:23,642
Now don't make this
a butch, Captain.
1425
01:12:23,666 --> 01:12:24,707
Well!
1426
01:12:25,082 --> 01:12:26,624
HUD-huh!
1427
01:12:27,207 --> 01:12:28,416
(SIGHS)
1428
01:12:30,207 --> 01:12:32,166
Ow! Ooh, you're hurting me!
1429
01:12:32,249 --> 01:12:34,291
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Francis.
1430
01:12:39,916 --> 01:12:41,582
Good night, Corporal.
1431
01:12:42,082 --> 01:12:43,791
Good night, Captain.
1432
01:12:44,082 --> 01:12:45,624
(DOOR OPENS)
1433
01:13:06,041 --> 01:13:08,600
Lieutenant Stirling
is not to be disturbed.
1434
01:13:08,624 --> 01:13:10,124
Yes, ma'am.
1435
01:13:10,666 --> 01:13:13,832
Whatever you're thinking,
Corporal, it's not true!
1436
01:13:19,916 --> 01:13:22,558
LOUISE: Tomorrow we women will
be involved in an operation
1437
01:13:22,582 --> 01:13:24,916
that will test the mettle
of every one of us.
1438
01:13:25,166 --> 01:13:26,624
You are all volunteers,
1439
01:13:26,707 --> 01:13:29,791
and I am grateful for
your efforts and courage.
1440
01:13:30,582 --> 01:13:34,558
By tomorrow evening, I feel
sure that we will have proved
1441
01:13:34,582 --> 01:13:37,249
that when we WACs say
we can do something,
1442
01:13:37,332 --> 01:13:38,707
we can do it.
1443
01:13:40,124 --> 01:13:41,558
Good luck.
1444
01:13:41,582 --> 01:13:43,374
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
1445
01:13:55,874 --> 01:13:57,374
LOUISE: Lieutenant!
1446
01:13:57,624 --> 01:13:59,291
What's the meaning of this?
1447
01:13:59,374 --> 01:14:01,249
I'm responsible, Major.
1448
01:14:01,332 --> 01:14:03,541
Well, you see, I felt the
urgency was so great...
1449
01:14:03,582 --> 01:14:06,124
Well, there wasn't time
to consult with you.
1450
01:14:06,207 --> 01:14:08,457
I believe that Lieutenant
Stirling can help us.
1451
01:14:08,541 --> 01:14:10,517
You know the low morale
of Second Platoon
1452
01:14:10,541 --> 01:14:13,166
and what it'll mean
to have him back.
1453
01:14:13,374 --> 01:14:15,707
And I know Lieutenant
Stirling wants to help.
1454
01:14:15,791 --> 01:14:16,832
Well, I...
1455
01:14:17,166 --> 01:14:19,291
And he still is in the WAC.
1456
01:14:20,541 --> 01:14:22,374
He'd better come
through for us tomorrow
1457
01:14:22,457 --> 01:14:24,166
or he'll never
get out of the WAC.
1458
01:14:24,582 --> 01:14:26,666
Dig up some field gear.
1459
01:14:27,666 --> 01:14:29,166
Yes, ma'am.
1460
01:14:42,999 --> 01:14:44,541
Woman driver.
1461
01:15:07,416 --> 01:15:09,124
Covers on four.
1462
01:15:11,666 --> 01:15:12,916
Follow me.
1463
01:15:14,041 --> 01:15:16,832
MAN: This is Blue.
I read you loud and clear.
1464
01:15:16,916 --> 01:15:18,582
Stand by. Over.
1465
01:15:26,457 --> 01:15:27,457
General. Huh?
1466
01:15:27,541 --> 01:15:29,707
May I get you an aspirin? Aw.
1467
01:15:31,791 --> 01:15:35,249
General, the White Army has taken
its initial position at Point Able.
1468
01:15:35,332 --> 01:15:36,892
The demonstration
is officially started.
1469
01:15:36,916 --> 01:15:38,249
What happens now, General?
1470
01:15:38,332 --> 01:15:40,892
Thank you, Charlie. Well, George,
I'm just an observer like yourself.
1471
01:15:40,916 --> 01:15:43,433
Unless I miss my guess,
in exactly 60 seconds
1472
01:15:43,457 --> 01:15:46,124
recon planes will be coming
over from Lassen Field.
1473
01:15:46,207 --> 01:15:48,207
In 30 minutes, aerial
photos will be developed
1474
01:15:48,291 --> 01:15:51,916
and we'll have Major Simpson's
lovely ladies pin-pointed.
1475
01:16:34,624 --> 01:16:36,041
Hi. Oh, I beg your pardon.
1476
01:16:36,124 --> 01:16:37,791
Be my guest? Thank you.
1477
01:16:37,874 --> 01:16:39,291
(CHUCKLES)
1478
01:16:45,166 --> 01:16:46,374
(WHISTLES)
1479
01:17:01,207 --> 01:17:03,291
Watch out for that gimmick.
1480
01:17:05,832 --> 01:17:07,350
Say, you know something?
1481
01:17:07,374 --> 01:17:09,749
Those WACs might look
pretty keen in polka dots.
1482
01:17:10,666 --> 01:17:12,207
(LAUGHS)
1483
01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:21,082
Nothing.
1484
01:17:21,166 --> 01:17:23,124
Nothing? Nothing, General.
1485
01:17:23,332 --> 01:17:26,124
You don't mean to tell me
that that isn't something?
1486
01:17:26,207 --> 01:17:28,308
Well, that's your field
headquarters, sir.
1487
01:17:28,332 --> 01:17:29,874
Is it? It is?
1488
01:17:31,332 --> 01:17:33,166
(BANJO PLAYING)
1489
01:17:34,082 --> 01:17:36,624
(MAN SINGING)
1490
01:17:43,832 --> 01:17:46,207
(SINGING)
1491
01:17:54,707 --> 01:17:57,582
Hey, uh, that's a might right
pretty dress you got there, Sis.
1492
01:17:57,666 --> 01:17:59,166
I've never seen it before.
1493
01:17:59,249 --> 01:18:00,957
Glad you all like it.
1494
01:18:01,082 --> 01:18:02,916
Sure wish I could read writin'.
1495
01:18:02,957 --> 01:18:04,207
MAN: Hey, there, bud!
1496
01:18:04,832 --> 01:18:05,916
Hi, there.
1497
01:18:05,999 --> 01:18:07,267
Run for it, Beauregard!
1498
01:18:07,291 --> 01:18:09,541
They're draftin' again!
Draftin'?
1499
01:18:09,707 --> 01:18:11,416
Take it easy, son!
1500
01:18:11,624 --> 01:18:12,874
Who we fightin' this time?
1501
01:18:12,957 --> 01:18:14,499
Did you see any WACs go by here?
1502
01:18:14,582 --> 01:18:15,957
WACs? WACs?
1503
01:18:16,041 --> 01:18:17,707
Yeah. You know, female soldiers.
1504
01:18:17,791 --> 01:18:20,291
Oh, them! Oh, they...
They went, uh...
1505
01:18:20,332 --> 01:18:22,291
No, no. They went, uh...
1506
01:18:22,499 --> 01:18:24,291
They went that-a-way.
1507
01:18:25,957 --> 01:18:27,374
Thanks. Let's go!
1508
01:18:54,249 --> 01:18:56,332
HILSTROM: Okay, girls, come on.
1509
01:18:57,249 --> 01:18:58,791
Hey, Captain.
1510
01:19:12,249 --> 01:19:13,457
Plane!
1511
01:19:17,957 --> 01:19:19,332
Take cover!
1512
01:19:27,749 --> 01:19:29,999
They're really pouring
on the pressure. Yeah.
1513
01:19:30,082 --> 01:19:31,808
We've still got eight
more miles to go! Whew!
1514
01:19:31,832 --> 01:19:33,791
I think maybe we'd better
take the offensive.
1515
01:19:33,916 --> 01:19:36,291
Yeah. How do we do that?
Well, let's see.
1516
01:19:37,374 --> 01:19:40,207
The idea first is to steal
one of their walkie-talkies.
1517
01:19:40,249 --> 01:19:42,142
Oh, I see. And then Intercept
their messages, huh?
1518
01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:43,767
Sure. Mmm-hmm. Well, do
you think you can do it?
1519
01:19:43,791 --> 01:19:46,207
Well, I'll need a volunteer.
1520
01:19:46,374 --> 01:19:50,374
Are there any volunteers
for this hazardous mission?
1521
01:19:53,749 --> 01:19:55,082
Well?
1522
01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:56,957
Now, look, Francis,
I can't take the chance.
1523
01:19:57,082 --> 01:19:59,183
If I mess up this operation,
I'll never get out of the WACs.
1524
01:19:59,207 --> 01:20:00,957
All those who don't
want to volunteer,
1525
01:20:01,082 --> 01:20:02,957
take one step backward.
1526
01:20:04,041 --> 01:20:06,749
The idea is, exchange
one of our walkie-talkies
1527
01:20:06,832 --> 01:20:07,916
with one of theirs.
1528
01:20:08,082 --> 01:20:10,457
That way we'll be tuned
into their frequency.
1529
01:20:10,541 --> 01:20:13,124
Now, this is how you'll do it.
1530
01:20:13,166 --> 01:20:14,166
Yeah?
1531
01:20:18,166 --> 01:20:20,041
Hey, look at this. What is it?
1532
01:20:20,249 --> 01:20:21,624
A gal's comb!
1533
01:20:21,707 --> 01:20:22,957
Nice goin'.
1534
01:20:23,041 --> 01:20:25,374
We'd better contact
a mobile unit.
1535
01:20:27,957 --> 01:20:30,142
Hello, Blue. Hello, Blue.
This is Diamond.
1536
01:20:30,166 --> 01:20:32,249
We've picked up
their trail. Over.
1537
01:20:33,791 --> 01:20:35,291
Right, sir. Over.
1538
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:39,707
Hey, let's have a little
camouflage discipline.
1539
01:20:39,957 --> 01:20:40,957
Sorry.
1540
01:20:41,582 --> 01:20:43,249
FRED: Is this your first hitch?
1541
01:20:43,332 --> 01:20:45,041
You should know
better than that.
1542
01:20:45,124 --> 01:20:47,082
Let's get it out quick
before they see the smoke.
1543
01:20:59,999 --> 01:21:01,100
LIEUTENANT: Which way, soldier?
1544
01:21:01,124 --> 01:21:03,225
FRED: Well they must've come this way, sir.
We found a girl's comb.
1545
01:21:03,249 --> 01:21:05,832
Show him the comb, George.
GEORGE: Here you are, sir.
1546
01:21:05,916 --> 01:21:07,957
FRED: It's about time those
WACs let down their hair
1547
01:21:08,041 --> 01:21:10,457
and gave us some
kind of a clue, sir.
1548
01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:12,582
LIEUTENANT: It might be a decoy,
1549
01:21:12,666 --> 01:21:14,791
but I think we'd better
contact field headquarters
1550
01:21:14,874 --> 01:21:16,957
and see if it fits in
with the plot map.
1551
01:21:17,124 --> 01:21:18,124
Okay, let's go.
1552
01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,666
Wait a minute, sir.
My walkie-talkie.
1553
01:21:41,082 --> 01:21:44,082
Help! Help! They got me!
1554
01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:47,082
Well, what do you know?
We hooked the wrong fish.
1555
01:21:47,624 --> 01:21:50,332
Francis! Francis, get
me outta here, will ya?
1556
01:21:51,416 --> 01:21:54,041
Shh. Easy does it. There.
1557
01:21:58,832 --> 01:22:00,916
Lieutenant! Two patrols
are approaching.
1558
01:22:00,957 --> 01:22:02,082
What?
1559
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:06,058
That's nice work, Lieutenant.
1560
01:22:06,082 --> 01:22:07,082
Thanks.
1561
01:22:07,499 --> 01:22:09,041
Mission accomplished.
1562
01:22:09,082 --> 01:22:11,457
Yeah, and two enemy
patrols are approaching.
1563
01:22:11,541 --> 01:22:13,457
Aah! Come on, let's go!
1564
01:22:14,124 --> 01:22:15,957
Aw... Aren't you coming with me?
1565
01:22:16,041 --> 01:22:18,582
No, I've gotta untangle
this mess you made.
1566
01:22:18,666 --> 01:22:20,582
Gimme that hearin' aid.
1567
01:22:20,749 --> 01:22:23,124
Come on. Hmm-mmm.
1568
01:22:24,249 --> 01:22:27,017
Oh, hello all units.
1569
01:22:27,041 --> 01:22:29,916
This is Blue,
Field Command to patrols.
1570
01:22:29,999 --> 01:22:31,041
General Kaye.
1571
01:22:31,124 --> 01:22:34,499
Charlie Patrol proceed south
by southeast. Be alert.
1572
01:22:34,582 --> 01:22:37,374
Opposing forces
are wearing men's uniforms.
1573
01:22:40,249 --> 01:22:41,874
Calling Dog Patrol.
1574
01:22:43,041 --> 01:22:44,291
Calling Dog Patrol.
1575
01:22:44,374 --> 01:22:45,416
It's General Kaye.
1576
01:22:45,499 --> 01:22:48,166
Dog Patrol, proceed
north by northwest.
1577
01:22:48,249 --> 01:22:49,374
Be alert.
1578
01:22:49,457 --> 01:22:52,041
Opposing forces
are wearing men's uniforms.
1579
01:23:09,624 --> 01:23:10,957
Stand by, over.
1580
01:23:10,999 --> 01:23:12,374
I gave no such orders.
1581
01:23:12,457 --> 01:23:14,374
You know I gave no such orders.
1582
01:23:14,457 --> 01:23:15,957
Tell them that...
1583
01:23:16,957 --> 01:23:18,374
That's it.
1584
01:23:18,957 --> 01:23:21,082
The White Army's tuned
in on our frequency.
1585
01:23:21,166 --> 01:23:23,957
They're giving commands
and intercepting ours.
1586
01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:25,416
Yeah.
1587
01:23:25,707 --> 01:23:27,957
This is our first bit of luck.
1588
01:23:28,957 --> 01:23:32,874
Corporal, we're going to
give those WACs some orders
1589
01:23:32,957 --> 01:23:34,037
that will cook their goose.
1590
01:23:34,082 --> 01:23:35,124
Yes, sir.
1591
01:23:35,249 --> 01:23:37,957
Hey, Pete, give this
thing a listen, quick.
1592
01:23:38,374 --> 01:23:39,707
MAN: Attention all patrols.
1593
01:23:39,791 --> 01:23:41,933
Mmm-hmm. This is Unit Blue.
1594
01:23:41,957 --> 01:23:44,933
The White Army is now
bracketed in Zone Twelve.
1595
01:23:44,957 --> 01:23:48,582
Deploy east and west
of Hill 1-1-8 to intercept.
1596
01:23:48,666 --> 01:23:49,666
FRANCIS: Oh.
1597
01:23:49,749 --> 01:23:51,933
That... That must be
this hill right here.
1598
01:23:51,957 --> 01:23:53,957
Hey, look, it's not covered!
1599
01:23:54,332 --> 01:23:56,791
He probably figured we'd never
dare cross it, too exposed!
1600
01:23:56,874 --> 01:23:58,207
That's our answer.
1601
01:23:58,291 --> 01:24:00,166
Hill 1-1-8, here we come.
1602
01:24:00,541 --> 01:24:03,207
Simmer down, Captain.
This might be a trap.
1603
01:24:03,374 --> 01:24:05,374
But it's our only
chance, Francis.
1604
01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:08,166
If we're lucky, we'll... We'll
slip right through their lines.
1605
01:24:08,249 --> 01:24:10,749
FRANCIS: I'm tellin' ya, Pete.
This could be a trap.
1606
01:25:11,874 --> 01:25:14,707
The Blue Army.
It's there. It's a trap.
1607
01:25:14,999 --> 01:25:16,249
Francis was right.
1608
01:25:16,624 --> 01:25:18,832
Someday you'll believe me.
1609
01:25:19,166 --> 01:25:21,582
We'll have to retreat
on the double.
1610
01:25:21,666 --> 01:25:23,874
Get Sergeant Kipp. Yes, Captain.
1611
01:25:27,874 --> 01:25:30,499
Did I hear you
say retreat, Captain?
1612
01:25:30,916 --> 01:25:32,416
What else can we do?
1613
01:25:32,499 --> 01:25:34,916
Well we can give 'em credit
for havin' some brains.
1614
01:25:34,957 --> 01:25:37,207
They've got our rear
covered and re-covered.
1615
01:25:37,332 --> 01:25:38,791
We go forward.
1616
01:25:38,874 --> 01:25:40,332
Into their waiting arms?
1617
01:25:40,499 --> 01:25:42,749
Into their smoky eyes, yeah.
1618
01:25:44,874 --> 01:25:45,916
Right.
1619
01:25:45,999 --> 01:25:48,166
A smoke screen.
FRANCIS: You betcha.
1620
01:25:48,832 --> 01:25:51,041
Now come over here
and pick my pocket.
1621
01:25:52,582 --> 01:25:54,041
All right, come on
over, Captain.
1622
01:25:54,124 --> 01:25:56,041
We got the "O" smoke.
1623
01:25:57,707 --> 01:25:58,832
Yes, sir.
1624
01:25:59,291 --> 01:26:01,041
Yes, sir. Over.
1625
01:26:01,832 --> 01:26:03,207
Forward, men.
1626
01:26:16,541 --> 01:26:17,832
Ready grenades.
1627
01:26:21,457 --> 01:26:22,457
Fire!
1628
01:26:54,666 --> 01:26:55,791
Ugh!
1629
01:26:58,791 --> 01:27:00,767
Ooh! Happy landin', soldier.
1630
01:27:00,791 --> 01:27:01,874
(CHUCKLES)
1631
01:27:07,749 --> 01:27:08,749
(GROANS)
1632
01:27:08,791 --> 01:27:10,916
Ooh. There's a real
belly-flopper.
1633
01:27:38,874 --> 01:27:42,124
I'll scout a bit, sir, for
a way across the gully.
1634
01:27:51,124 --> 01:27:53,916
FRANCIS: Well, don't stand there, men.
Jump, jump!
1635
01:27:53,999 --> 01:27:55,707
Yes, General. Yes, sir!
1636
01:27:55,916 --> 01:27:57,874
KAYE: What... What is this?
1637
01:27:58,457 --> 01:28:01,082
Who said that? Who's
giving orders around here?
1638
01:28:01,166 --> 01:28:02,707
I am, sir. What's wrong?
1639
01:28:02,749 --> 01:28:04,749
What's wrong?
Have you gone crazy?
1640
01:28:04,916 --> 01:28:07,707
Don't stand there. Jump. Jump.
1641
01:28:08,499 --> 01:28:09,624
Yes, sir!
1642
01:28:11,249 --> 01:28:12,683
FRANCIS: Captain! With your men.
1643
01:28:12,707 --> 01:28:14,666
What are you waiting for? Jump!
1644
01:28:14,707 --> 01:28:15,987
(STAMMERS) But... But General...
1645
01:28:16,582 --> 01:28:18,041
Come back here, Captain!
1646
01:28:18,124 --> 01:28:20,957
I could you men
court-martialed for this!
1647
01:28:21,041 --> 01:28:23,791
FRANCIS: Don't stand there!
Jump, General!
1648
01:28:26,666 --> 01:28:27,707
Where's that coming from?
1649
01:28:27,791 --> 01:28:29,642
Just a little overdue
payment, General,
1650
01:28:29,666 --> 01:28:31,207
on that Burma bridge account.
1651
01:28:31,416 --> 01:28:34,041
See you at Point Baker
when the ladies win!
1652
01:28:34,416 --> 01:28:35,666
Yes, sir!
1653
01:28:39,707 --> 01:28:41,642
After them. Get that mule.
1654
01:28:41,666 --> 01:28:44,666
Shoot that lieutenant!
I mean, disqualify him.
1655
01:28:47,124 --> 01:28:48,600
If you don't mind some
rough goin', General,
1656
01:28:48,624 --> 01:28:49,725
there's a crossing
downhill a ways
1657
01:28:49,749 --> 01:28:51,058
that'll bring us out
near Point Baker.
1658
01:28:51,082 --> 01:28:52,707
Get in that jeep, soldier.
1659
01:29:02,624 --> 01:29:05,666
Oh, General, maybe you'll
need some aspirin now!
1660
01:29:09,291 --> 01:29:11,207
Three minutes, General.
1661
01:29:12,082 --> 01:29:13,600
Any luck, General?
1662
01:29:13,624 --> 01:29:15,624
(HOARSE VOICE) Well, they
haven't reached here yet,
1663
01:29:15,666 --> 01:29:17,166
have they?
1664
01:29:22,499 --> 01:29:24,957
Well, Major, (CLEARS
THROAT) have they?
1665
01:29:25,041 --> 01:29:26,749
No, sir, not yet.
1666
01:29:26,832 --> 01:29:29,600
I think I can guarantee
now that they won't.
1667
01:29:29,624 --> 01:29:31,291
We've plotted their
line of advance
1668
01:29:31,374 --> 01:29:33,749
and got them sewed up
tight as a drum.
1669
01:29:33,874 --> 01:29:36,600
About three minutes, your little
dream will be over, Louise.
1670
01:29:36,624 --> 01:29:39,624
Aren't you cheering yourself
hoarse a bit too soon, Ben?
1671
01:29:39,874 --> 01:29:41,332
Uh, Louise.
1672
01:29:42,749 --> 01:29:44,749
You may as well know this.
1673
01:29:44,832 --> 01:29:47,041
Your girls are on their own now.
1674
01:29:47,124 --> 01:29:48,624
That, uh, little male WAC
1675
01:29:48,707 --> 01:29:50,666
has been disqualified by now.
1676
01:29:50,707 --> 01:29:52,416
There are still
two minutes left.
1677
01:29:52,499 --> 01:29:54,582
Do you mind if I hope
that much longer?
1678
01:29:58,582 --> 01:30:00,041
Two minutes.
1679
01:30:07,874 --> 01:30:09,207
At ease.
1680
01:30:09,291 --> 01:30:11,291
What about that Lieutenant?
Did you disqualify him?
1681
01:30:11,332 --> 01:30:13,558
Uh, no, sir. We finally caught
up with this jackass, sir,
1682
01:30:13,582 --> 01:30:16,558
but there was no sign of a lieutenant
or anyone else from the White Army.
1683
01:30:16,582 --> 01:30:17,707
Of course not.
1684
01:30:17,791 --> 01:30:20,207
There isn't one of 'em
within miles of us.
1685
01:30:20,291 --> 01:30:21,707
You want to bet?
1686
01:30:23,582 --> 01:30:25,166
Who said that?
1687
01:30:26,416 --> 01:30:27,749
Mmm-hmm.
1688
01:30:31,207 --> 01:30:32,332
You men carry on.
1689
01:30:34,374 --> 01:30:36,041
Leave that donkey.
1690
01:30:52,124 --> 01:30:54,124
It's a trick.
It's gotta be a trick.
1691
01:30:54,207 --> 01:30:56,749
Why? What trick is
there to talking?
1692
01:30:56,832 --> 01:30:58,517
Any fool can do it.
1693
01:30:58,541 --> 01:30:59,582
(GROANS) Oh.
1694
01:30:59,666 --> 01:31:01,707
Unless he loses his voice.
1695
01:31:02,291 --> 01:31:03,332
(GROANS)
1696
01:31:03,416 --> 01:31:05,832
And that ain't all you
lost, General Kaye.
1697
01:31:05,916 --> 01:31:07,332
Look!
1698
01:31:15,624 --> 01:31:17,499
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
1699
01:31:26,332 --> 01:31:27,666
(CHEERING)
1700
01:31:33,749 --> 01:31:35,874
Not a WAC for miles, huh?
1701
01:31:36,332 --> 01:31:37,499
(LAUGHS)
1702
01:31:38,916 --> 01:31:41,416
Open wide, General.
Wider. It won't hurt.
1703
01:31:41,499 --> 01:31:43,957
What do you think
that is, a barn door?
1704
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:47,475
General! We'd certainly like
a few words from you, General,
1705
01:31:47,499 --> 01:31:49,457
straight from the horse's
mouth, you might say.
1706
01:31:49,499 --> 01:31:51,475
(HOARSE VOICE) And that's the
way you're gonna get it, my boy.
1707
01:31:51,499 --> 01:31:53,457
If I can talk through
this throat of mine.
1708
01:31:53,499 --> 01:31:56,124
Right over there, sir.
We're all ready for you.
1709
01:32:01,457 --> 01:32:02,874
Okay, Fred?
1710
01:32:05,457 --> 01:32:08,582
Now it is my pleasure and privilege
to introduce to the TV audience
1711
01:32:08,666 --> 01:32:10,433
the man who came
from the Pentagon
1712
01:32:10,457 --> 01:32:12,582
to arrange this
camouflage operation.
1713
01:32:12,999 --> 01:32:16,291
Ladies and gentlemen, here
he is, General Ben Kaye!
1714
01:32:16,416 --> 01:32:17,433
(APPLAUD)
1715
01:32:17,457 --> 01:32:19,249
FRANCIS: I'll have to be brief,
1716
01:32:19,332 --> 01:32:21,249
because of a touch
of laryngitis.
1717
01:32:21,332 --> 01:32:24,291
But having observed
the camouflage demonstration
1718
01:32:24,374 --> 01:32:27,541
by this splendid group
of Fort Chase WA Cs,
1719
01:32:28,332 --> 01:32:31,433
I must pay tribute to
them and admit defeat.
1720
01:32:31,457 --> 01:32:33,332
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1721
01:32:38,999 --> 01:32:41,374
A magnificent job, ladies.
1722
01:32:41,749 --> 01:32:43,041
Magnificent!
1723
01:32:43,124 --> 01:32:45,416
But with Major
Simpson's leadership,
1724
01:32:45,499 --> 01:32:47,416
how could it be otherwise?
1725
01:32:47,457 --> 01:32:49,041
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1726
01:32:49,541 --> 01:32:51,166
I just can't believe it.
1727
01:32:51,416 --> 01:32:53,392
A salute to Company C.
1728
01:32:53,416 --> 01:32:56,541
The Army is proud of you. Proud!
1729
01:32:56,624 --> 01:32:58,166
(APPLAUSE)
1730
01:33:10,416 --> 01:33:11,457
You all right, General?
1731
01:33:11,541 --> 01:33:12,666
Of course I'm all right.
1732
01:33:12,749 --> 01:33:14,249
I want you to arrest that mule.
1733
01:33:14,332 --> 01:33:16,017
Have that mule court-martialed...
Mule, sir?
1734
01:33:16,041 --> 01:33:17,392
That mule! Get that mule!
At once, sir.
1735
01:33:17,416 --> 01:33:18,892
Right now! Get that mule.
At once, sir.
1736
01:33:18,916 --> 01:33:21,374
(CLOCK CHIMING) (HUMMING)
1737
01:33:26,957 --> 01:33:28,374
(SIGHS)
1738
01:33:29,374 --> 01:33:30,666
Oh.
1739
01:33:31,374 --> 01:33:34,207
Boy, I never had
a general before!
1740
01:33:39,374 --> 01:33:41,350
This is really the end.
1741
01:33:41,374 --> 01:33:43,457
Let's get outta here,
Lieutenant!
128036
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