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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,127
Here's what happened last week.
2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:05,967
Rachel and the Glee Club
know that Quinn's pregnant...
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:08,633
but they all think Finn's the father,
when really, it's Puck. Yikes.
4
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:13,441
And Terri's only fake pregnant and wants
Quinn to give her her baby so Will won't find out.
5
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,140
How come you haven't had
any morning sickness?
6
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,376
Also, Ken is dating Emma,
but she's really got eyes for Mr. Schue.
7
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,611
And that's what you missed on...
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,916
A- five, six, seven, eight.
9
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:25,480
Step, turn, out.
And it's ball-change. Step-ball-change.
10
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:29,551
Step, you, you, you, you.
Ba, ba, ba. Turn...
11
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:31,961
Come on, guys.
You're sleep-walking on me here.
12
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,966
Gimme some energy.
13
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,332
- We've got sectionals in two...
- Please. Sectionals is gonna be a breeze.
14
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:39,270
Maybe so...
15
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:43,105
but if we coast through sectionals,
we're gonna get killed at regionals.
16
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,269
We have got to be on our game.
17
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,416
Sorry. Funny YouTube.
It's a grape-stomping one.
18
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,355
The kids have gotten really complacent.
19
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,414
It's like the fire has totally gone out.
20
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:01,460
Um...
Um, I'm sorry. You've just...
21
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:06,795
You've got a little mustard
in your cute, Kirk Douglas chin dimple.
22
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:09,266
Uh... Ah?
23
00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:13,271
- Um...
- Did I get it?
24
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:16,433
Here. Let me... Hold on.
25
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,103
There.
26
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,440
Thanks.
27
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:25,643
Um, so.
28
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:27,948
Uh, when did...
When did this start to happen?
29
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,285
A week ago.
30
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,951
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
31
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,722
-
No, no, no, no.
- Great news, guys.
32
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:39,663
Just got the competition bracket for
sectionals, and we are in really good shape.
33
00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,724
There's only two other teams.
If we beat them, we make it to regionals.
34
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,862
- Yeah.
- Who are the other teams?
35
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,998
Drumroll, please, Finn.
36
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:54,142
School for the Deaf in Dayton,
and some place called Jane Adams Academy.
37
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,239
Jane Adams? That's a halfway house...
38
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,308
- for girls just getting out of juvie.
- Th-Th-This is great.
39
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:02,377
People who can't hear what they're
singing, and criminals who don't care.
40
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,151
It's gonna be a cakewalk. High five.
41
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,659
I don't know. They think
they've got it in the bag...
42
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,661
so they've simply stopped trying.
43
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,596
I've got to figure out
some way to motivate them.
44
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,690
Okay, well, you, um...
45
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,701
You could... Well, what about a sticker board?
46
00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,602
That's how my parents
got me to do chores when I was a kid.
47
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:22,869
All right, so I do a chore,
and then I get a star, and then...
48
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:26,207
Oh, dear God. Please... Please stop talking.
49
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,543
I'm trying desperately...
50
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:33,575
to ignore the treacly sweet
inanity of your asinine conversation...
51
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,587
but now I've got bile in my mouth.
52
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:38,055
I will hold my tongue no further.
53
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:41,218
You know what this is?
This is a list of my Cheerios.
54
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:44,388
Every week I pick someone at random,
and I kick 'em out.
55
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,694
Yeah, well, in Glee Club
we do things a little bit differently.
56
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:49,564
Oh, yeah, Will?
How's that workin' out for you?
57
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,763
You have to remember something.
58
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,829
We're dealing with children.
59
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,137
They need to be terrified.
60
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,143
It's like mother's milk to them.
61
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:02,204
Without it, their bones
won't grow properly.
62
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,216
So if you want results with a kid...
63
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:08,550
you find that competitive animal
within, and unleash it.
64
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:11,886
Okay. Ellen, that blouse is just insane.
65
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,594
Can't believe she's allowed
to teach at this school.
66
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,134
You know...
67
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,136
she may have a point.
68
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,369
Competition.
69
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,744
Every one of these people or elements was
a champion in their own right...
70
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:39,581
but they used competing with each other
to make themselves even better.
71
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,745
I don't understand how lightning...
72
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,914
is in competition with
an above-ground swimming pool.
73
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,149
Just go with it. You guys
have become complacent.
74
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,457
You were great at the invitational...
75
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,497
but you gotta up your game
if you wanna get through sectionals.
76
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,328
Okay, split up.
77
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,595
Guys on the left side,
girls on the right side.
78
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,631
Let's go. Come on.
79
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,940
All right.
80
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,037
Kurt?
81
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:17,617
Here's the deal. Two teams...
Boys versus girls.
82
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,124
One week from today...
83
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,627
you will each perform
a mash-up of your choice.
84
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:26,358
- What's a mash-up?
- A mash-up is when you take two songs...
85
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:30,732
and mash 'em together to make an even
richer explosion of musical expression.
86
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:32,896
Boys will perform on Tuesday.
Girls the next day.
87
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:36,203
I want you guys to go all out, okay?
Costumes, choreography.
88
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,574
Whoever wins the competition...
89
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,910
- gets to choose the number
that we do for sectionals.
- Wait.
90
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,506
Who's gonna be the judge?
91
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,212
- Your gender makes you biased.
- Ahh.
92
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,688
There is going to be a celebrity judge.
93
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:54,386
- Who?
- You're gonna have to show up to find out.
94
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,395
- We got this in the bag.
- Totally.
95
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,863
I'm gonna start story-boarding
our choreography tonight.
96
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,866
Hey. Hope you guys are up
for this competition.
97
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,868
The girls look pretty pumped.
98
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:06,427
We're planning on smacking 'em down
like the hand of God.
99
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:12,841
Hey, Finn, you all right?
You seem a little out of it.
100
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,176
Yeah, I'm just a little worn out.
101
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,911
Come on, dude.
We're late for football practice.
102
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:29,423
Dear Journal. Feeling listless again today.
103
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,622
It began at dawn, when I tried...
104
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:35,600
to make a smoothie out of beef bones,
breaking my juicer.
105
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:39,263
And then at Cheerios practice, disaster.
106
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,832
It was unmistakable.
107
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,243
It was like spotting the first
spark on the Hindenburg.
108
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:51,113
A quiver. That quiver
will lose us nationals...
109
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,244
and without a championship,
I'll lose my endorsements...
110
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,949
and without those endorsements,
I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.
111
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,288
Feeling all right, Quinn?
112
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,658
I'm just really tired from Glee Club.
113
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,156
Glee Club!
114
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:12,136
Every time I try to destroy that clutch
of scab-eating mouth breathers...
115
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:16,107
it only comes back stronger, like some
sexually ambiguous horror movie villain.
116
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:20,077
Here I am, about to turn 30...
117
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:24,105
and I've sacrificed everything
only to be shanghaied...
118
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,242
by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal...
119
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,617
of doughy, misshapen teens.
120
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,418
Am I missing something, Journal?
121
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,459
Is it me?
122
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,756
Of course it's not me.
123
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,853
It's Will Schuester.
124
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,864
What is it about him, Journal?
125
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:41,866
Is it the arrogant smirk?
126
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,698
Is it the store-bought home perm?
127
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:49,174
You know, Journal,
I noticed something yesterday.
128
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,643
Of course...
129
00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,873
It's coming clear to me now.
130
00:06:54,947 --> 00:07:00,408
If I can't destroy the club,
I will have to destroy the man.
131
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,857
Let me be frank.
132
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,859
Your husband is hiding his kielbasa...
133
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:11,328
in a Hickory Farms gift basket
that doesn't belong to you.
134
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,865
What? With who?
135
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,562
Guidance counselor.
Real floozy and a man-eater.
136
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,731
Wears creepy broaches like the kind
my nana was buried in. More tea.
137
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:24,072
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, it's the same old song.
138
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:27,374
- Wife puts on a couple extra pounds...
- I'm pregnant.
139
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,642
Oh, that's no excuse.
140
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:33,014
I've always thought the desire to procreate
showed deep, personal weakness.
141
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:35,417
Me... Never wanted kids.
142
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,888
Don't have the time.
Don't have the uterus.
143
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:42,688
- Are you sure about this?
- A woman always knows.
144
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:46,198
- Yeah.
- Let me put it to you this way.
145
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:50,031
If it's not a full-blown affair, well,
it's certainly heading in that direction.
146
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:54,266
You need a machete to cut through
the haze of lust that surrounds them.
147
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,672
Oh, God. What am I gonna do?
148
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,210
I think you should both pack up
and move out of the district.
149
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,607
Unless you wanna lose your man
to a mentally ill...
150
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,276
ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby.
151
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:08,514
Now, you're absolutely sure about this?
I mean, you have proof?
152
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,556
Get into that school, and sniff out...
153
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:13,183
those sex pheromones for yourself.
154
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,193
We happen to have an opening.
155
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,923
Our school nurse,
Mrs. Lancaster, is in a coma.
156
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,524
Oh, she took a terrible tumble
down the stairwell yesterday.
157
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:27,238
Aaah!
158
00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:31,106
- But I'm not a nurse. I work at Sheets 'N' Things.
- I'm not an American citizen.
159
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,907
I was born in the Panama Canal Zone,
but I managed...
160
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,380
to get a passport
and run for office twice.
161
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:41,216
My advice to you,
if you wanna keep your husband...
162
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,319
Get creative.
163
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:50,954
Mrs. Schuester, I appreciate your interest
in the nursing position...
164
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,397
but your previous experience
is limited to folding hand towels.
165
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,560
As assistant manager
at Sheets 'N' Things...
166
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,503
I've had first aid training. Mm-hmm.
167
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:03,633
- I've also used a defibrillator.
- Huh.
168
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,069
So what did you want to talk to me about?
169
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,080
Oh. Good news.
170
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,173
I figured out a way
to get the kids motivated.
171
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,083
They're gonna compete
against each other in a glee-off.
172
00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:16,986
- Oh.
- And guess who the celebrity judge is gonna be.
173
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,957
- You.
- Me?
174
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,855
You are the most honest
and impartial person I know.
175
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,460
Well, isn't this a surprise.
176
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,470
Terri, wh-what are you doing here?
177
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,768
Hi. I don't think
we've been properly introduced.
178
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,831
I'm Terri Schuester, Will's pregnant wife.
179
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,309
- Hi.
- Oh, honey...
180
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:42,541
-
Someone got a little lipstick on your cup.
- Sorry.
181
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,709
I got it.
182
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,791
Um, is-is everything okay, Terri?
183
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:56,521
- You-You never visit me at work.
- Oh, I'm not visiting.
184
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,724
No. You've been so stressed
about our finances lately...
185
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,962
that I thought I would pitch in
by getting a second job.
186
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,972
I'm the new school nurse.
187
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,132
But you're not a nurse.
188
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,540
- You don't have any training.
- Oh, please, Will.
189
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,307
It's a public school.
190
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,649
Isn't this gonna be great?
191
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,379
And this means that I'm gonna
be around all the time now.
192
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,222
Know your routes.
193
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,788
Now, that is the key
to this play, gentlemen.
194
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:36,835
The receivers run
the fly route downfield...
195
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:39,598
and then block as the play develops, okay?
196
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:42,163
Know your assignments. This is not...
197
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:45,677
I'm losing it. I'm tired all the time.
198
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,679
I can't keep my eyes open.
199
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,545
That's your only job,
is to know your assignments.
200
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:53,744
-
No sharps, and no flats.
- I know how lucky I am...
201
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,413
Captain of the football team, Glee stud.
202
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,423
I know I should be excited about Quinn.
203
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,085
She's hot, popular,
and she's carrying my baby and all...
204
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,788
but I can't get Rachel out of my head.
205
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,457
She kind of freaks me out
in a Swimfan
kind of way...
206
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:09,524
but she can really sing
and her body is smokin' ...
207
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,729
if you're not into boobs.
208
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:15,672
My body's a mess.
I found a hair on my ear the other day...
209
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,574
and I have to rub Biofreeze on my shins
a couple times a day.
210
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,635
Growing pains.
211
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:23,147
It smells pretty bad,
but I mask it with Drakkar Noir.
212
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,714
Being a guy my age is tough.
213
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,187
Between Glee and football
and school and being popular...
214
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,190
I'm just kind of overwhelmed.
215
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,284
Everyone wants something from me,
and I don't have the energy to do it all.
216
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,295
I don't know how important people
like presidents...
217
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,161
or newscasters or mob bosses do it.
218
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:42,166
My mom says I'm stretched too thin...
219
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,327
so I gave up homework,
but that didn't help.
220
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:47,133
All I know is, last night
I got vaporized on level two.
221
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,835
Level two! And I didn't even
have the energy to care.
222
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,745
He's drooling.
223
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,805
Dude, wake up.
224
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,975
Sure, yeah. That sounds good.
225
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,986
- I said, we can't let those girls beat us.
- Sorry.
226
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,581
Sometimes when I'm thinking real hard,
it helps to close my eyes.
227
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,183
We're doing a mash-up of"It's My Life"
and Usher's "Confessions."
228
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:11,787
We should get some trash can lids
and stomp the yard up in this piece.
229
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,628
Puck, with respect, you're more helpful
when you don't contribute.
230
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,363
Dude, what's wrong with you?
Go see the nurse.
231
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,133
Every day I say I have a headache.
I sleep for three hours.
232
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:24,665
I haven't attended
a math class in two years.
233
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,838
Oh. Thanks, guys.
234
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:31,041
Keep up the good work.
235
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,891
Uh, okay, girls.
We need to get started.
236
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:43,395
- We're getting warmed up.
- Where's Quinn?
237
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:46,829
Probably down at the mall
looking for elastic-waist pants.
238
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:53,534
Mr. Schuester's right, you guys.
We can't get complacent.
239
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,301
- Chill out.
- I already picked the songs.
240
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,501
We're gonna do a mash-up of"Halo"
and "Walking on Sunshine."
241
00:12:57,576 --> 00:13:00,511
- Yeah, that was my idea.
- Whatever.
242
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,945
Come on. We can do this in our sleep.
243
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,415
You think those six dudes
are gonna give us any competition?
244
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,851
-
I say we just wing it.
- We can't just wing it.
245
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,481
All those in favor of winging it?
246
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,355
All those opposed?
247
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,390
Looks like the ayes have it.
248
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,334
Hi. How can I help you?
249
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,533
- Hey, Mrs. Schuester.
- Uh-huh.
250
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:32,771
- I'm Finn Hudson. I'm in Glee with your husband.
- Well, hi, Finn.
251
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:36,110
Oh, wait a minute.
Are you the one who's dating Quinn Fabray?
252
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:39,618
- Yeah. Why?
- Oh, you have really good bone structure.
253
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:43,121
Yeah. Um, I've been really tired lately...
254
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,022
and I was wondering if I could lie down
in here for a while.
255
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,026
Why don't you have a seat.
256
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:52,257
Why don't you tell me
a little bit about your sleep habits.
257
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,856
- What time do you go to bed?
- Um, I don't know.
258
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:58,426
Usually after "Skinemax"
starts playing regular movies again.
259
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,938
And I'm normally tired, but lately...
260
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,464
I can't just fall asleep.
It's like my brain won't shut up.
261
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,740
Well, what are you thinking about?
262
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,838
Oh, you can be honest with me.
263
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:12,713
There's a code of silence in my office.
264
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:17,313
- Okay, uh, football plays...
- Uh-huh.
265
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:20,222
um, girls, dance steps...
266
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,427
- girls.
- Girls?
267
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:26,896
- But you're dating Quinn Fabray.
- Yeah, but...
268
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,766
- Do you think a guy can be into two girls at once?
- No.
269
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:35,773
And remember, flirting is cheating.
270
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:38,969
And the revenge of the jilted woman
is usually pretty messy.
271
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,480
- So can I take my nap now?
- Do you want to sleep through your life, Finn?
272
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:46,609
No, but I read once that teenagers
need more sleep than infants.
273
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,381
When I was in high school,
I captained the cheerleading squad...
274
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,447
I kept a perfect 4.0 G.P.A.,
I cultivated my popularity...
275
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,958
and I maintained a loving relationship...
276
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,325
with the boy who
would become my husband.
277
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,762
Wow.
278
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,801
I don't even know how I did that.
279
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,802
Wait a minute.
280
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:07,361
Yes, I do.
281
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,373
Pseudo ephedrine.
282
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,875
It's the stuff they put in decongestants
to make them non-drowsy.
283
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,504
It's kind of like a... Well, like a vitamin.
284
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,107
I would pop two of these blue meanies
every morning...
285
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:21,118
and then I would be a firecracker
for the rest of the day.
286
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,847
Are they safe?
287
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,652
They're over-the-counter.
They stock them next to the candy bars.
288
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,124
Sweetie, I'm the school nurse.
289
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,661
I know what I'm doing.
290
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,561
Hey, guys, how's it goin' ?
291
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,900
God, it's a beautiful day.
Let's run through the number.
292
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,270
I can't wait to do the number.
I'm ready and excited.
293
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:45,367
You guys stand up!
Come on. Let's get this joint jumping.
294
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,004
Has your soul been taken over
by caffeinated space aliens?
295
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,014
No, just visited the school nurse.
296
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:53,643
Got this great vitamin. I feel fantastic.
I can't wait to do the number.
297
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,949
Let's do the number, and then
afterwards we can build a house...
298
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:57,955
for Habitat for Humanity.
299
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,957
- What kind of vitamin?
- Vitamin C?
300
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,755
Vogue magazine says it boosts energy
levels and brightens the complexion.
301
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,888
Vitamin D. And I got you guys some.
302
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,206
- Awesome, guys.
- Yeah!
303
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,215
Geez, I didn't know you had that in you.
304
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,683
It's like somebody slipped
something in your juice boxes.
305
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,686
Ooh. You ladies better bring it tomorrow.
306
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,018
Otherwise, whoo!
307
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,058
We've got an opening number
for sectionals.
308
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:19,997
Olé.
309
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,914
Haven't seen you at Glee rehearsals.
310
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:39,644
I'm not Superwoman.
311
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:43,085
I know Glee is your whole life,
but I have the Cheerios.
312
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,487
I'm on honor roll. I have friends.
313
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:48,151
You don't have to be embarrassed.
314
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,627
No one at Glee is gonna judge you.
315
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:56,666
Look, I know everyone expects us
to be enemies and be in competition...
316
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:59,363
but I don't hate you.
317
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:03,101
Why not? I've been awful to you.
318
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,611
That was before you knew
what it felt like to be me...
319
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,942
an outsider.
320
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,743
More people are gonna start
finding out about this...
321
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,545
and you're gonna need
friends who can relate.
322
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,609
How can you relate
to what I'm going through?
323
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:17,348
You don't think people whisper
about me in the lunchrooms...
324
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:20,914
or draw pornographic
pictures of me on the bathroom walls?
325
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,052
That was me, actually.
326
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,556
Look, I don't agree
with the choice you're making...
327
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,566
but you're gonna need Glee.
328
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,296
You have seven months of your youth left.
329
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,304
You should enjoy it. And let's face it.
330
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:35,806
In a couple of months
that cheerleading uniform isn't gonna fit...
331
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:37,967
and we're gonna be all you have left.
332
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,910
Just... come back to practice.
333
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:42,913
Boys versus girls... It's fun.
334
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:45,245
And we could certainly
use your voice right now.
335
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:47,615
You're actually a good singer, Quinn.
336
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,154
Occasionally sharp, but that's just
because you lack my years of training.
337
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:55,789
I would have tortured you
if the roles were reversed, you know.
338
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,796
I know.
339
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:09,966
Hi. It's Terri.
340
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,602
Hi, Terri. This is Howard Bamboo.
341
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:15,374
Yeah. I know that, Howard.
342
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,915
Okay, you know how
I'm moonlighting as a nurse?
343
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,451
- Well, I need a favor.
- O-Okay.
344
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,215
Go to the drugstore and get me
a couple of boxes of decongestant.
345
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:26,621
I'm running low, and I want the children
of McKinley to be healthy and happy.
346
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:30,253
- Uh, h-how many boxes?
- Um...
347
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:33,321
Thirty-six.
348
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,332
Oh.
349
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:43,034
- Hey, Terri.
- Oh. Hi, Ken. What's up?
350
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,713
- Can we talk frank?
- Uh...
351
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:54,946
Listen.
352
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,285
We have a problem. I think my girlfriend
is in love with your husband.
353
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,382
And I wouldn't be surprised
if the feeling was mutual.
354
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:03,394
- How long has this been going on?
- I don't know. A couple months.
355
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,396
I see 'em together all the time...
356
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,523
Laughing, talking.
All the stuff she never does with me.
357
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,533
You know, I knew something was up.
358
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,627
She couldn't keep her eyes off him
at those Acafella clown shows.
359
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:16,140
Listen. Has Will
ever mentioned her to you?
360
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,803
Oh, no, but he's too smart for that.
I mean, just barely, but still.
361
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:21,812
Oh, Ken, I gotta be honest with you.
362
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,247
I only took this job
so that I could keep an eye on him.
363
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:28,844
We've got to put a stop to this
so that I can get out of here.
364
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,048
See, I'm not built
to work five days a week.
365
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,058
Well, I been thinking, maybe...
366
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,151
that if you and I started
seeing each other on the side...
367
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,162
it might kind of cancel their thing out.
368
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,532
Are you two still having sex?
369
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,364
Because, you know,
when that stops, something is up.
370
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,871
We actually haven't, um, had sex yet.
371
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:50,430
She doesn't like to be touched.
372
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:54,411
- By me.
- Oh.
373
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,449
God, I love her so much.
374
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:02,214
Oh. Um, okay.
375
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:05,154
It's okay.
376
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,525
There, there.
377
00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:10,720
Look at the two of us.
378
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:13,356
You pregnant, and me with psoriasis...
379
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:15,832
- Oh.
- and one testicle that won't descend.
380
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:19,268
- I don't know who to feel more sorry for.
- Okay, that's enough.
381
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,772
You know what?
You gotta stop being such a baby.
382
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,071
- I cannot fix this unless you're willing to man up.
- Okay. I'm sorry.
383
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,408
Here's what you're gonna do.
384
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:34,316
You're going straight to the nearest
department store to buy her an engagement ring.
385
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,815
Then you're gonna get down on one knee...
386
00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:40,756
and you're gonna ask
that doe-eyed little harlot to marry you.
387
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:44,318
No. I can't do that.
388
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:46,830
What if she says no?
It might kill me.
389
00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:55,238
Take two of these,
then nothing can stop you.
390
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,235
- I told you guys.
- We know.
391
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:04,111
You've been berating us
for the better part of an hour.
392
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:07,049
- Were they really that good?
- They were, Quinn. Look.
393
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,486
I was fine with arranging, choreographing
and directing this number free of charge.
394
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:13,115
But we underestimated the boys.
Their number will go to sectionals...
395
00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:15,284
and once again I will be humiliated.
396
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,989
How were we supposed to know they'd
rock the house? They've never been good.
397
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:23,501
- How did they d-d-do it?
- The real question is, what were they on?
398
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:27,060
Though I've been grouped with the boys,
my allegiance still remains with you ladies.
399
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:29,130
They declined my offer
to do their hair in cornrows...
400
00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:31,971
and all my artistic decisions
have been derided as too costly...
401
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:34,807
because they involve several varieties
of exotic bird feathers.
402
00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:38,741
We all took something.
403
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:50,084
My man, got next week's plays
all worked out. Yeah!
404
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,562
Hey, Mr. Schue, got that paper
on Bariloche, Argentina, on your desk.
405
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:55,862
- But it's not due for two weeks.
- Damn straight. I am in the
zone!
406
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:59,028
- Cheater.
- I don't know what you're talkin' about.
407
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:02,835
- You took performance enhancers
before your mash-up. Kurt told me.
- Ah.
408
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:06,537
It's deplorable, contemptible, and it's
just plain wrong. It's also cheating.
409
00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,603
- As a matter of fact,
I'm gonna start calling you "F-Rod."
- Hey, back off.
410
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:13,913
I'm nothing like A-Rod, okay? I'd never
take steroids. They make your junk fall off.
411
00:24:13,985 --> 00:24:17,318
Listen, Rachel. You don't know what it's
like for me, the kind of pressure I'm un...
412
00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:20,722
Oh, we all have pressures. But you know
how I deal with it? The natural way...
413
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:23,260
with a rigorous diet and exercise routine.
414
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:28,598
I'm up at 6:00 a.m. every day.
415
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:31,830
I have my protein shake
with banana and flax seed oil...
416
00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:34,064
and by 6:10 I'm on the elliptical.
417
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:37,233
You know how I motivate myself?
418
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,402
Not with anything artificial.
I set a goal...
419
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:42,504
and I won't rest until I reach it.
420
00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:45,778
Well, that's personal pressure. If you don't
meet your goal, you're the only one who loses.
421
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,978
I have to be the quarterback,
th-the male lead...
422
00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:50,248
and deal with a pregnant girlfriend
who yells about ice cream.
423
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:53,155
So, yeah, maybe I helped
me and my teammates out a little bit...
424
00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:56,752
but it's only because I'm sick and tired
of working so hard and still losing.
425
00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:59,763
- Yeah, but winning by cheating isn't winning.
- Oh, don't give me that.
426
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,857
The reason you're so pissed about this is
you know you can't compete with us.
427
00:25:02,934 --> 00:25:04,868
Oh, I'm offended by that accusation.
428
00:25:04,936 --> 00:25:08,372
We haven't performed yet, but,
if I may say, our mash-up is spectacular!
429
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,603
It still isn't gonna be as good.
We're gonna win. You're gonna lose.
430
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:13,610
Deal with it.
431
00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:20,478
Everyone gets a dose.
432
00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,918
Oh, except for Quinn.
You get folic acid...
433
00:25:22,988 --> 00:25:24,922
mama.
434
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:27,686
It's good for the baby.
435
00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:31,794
Get the lead out, Howard.
We have patients waiting.
436
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:35,928
Are you sure we should be doing this?
437
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:38,401
Oh, it's over-the-counter. It's safe.
438
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:41,701
You can trust me. I'm a nurse.
439
00:25:41,773 --> 00:25:43,764
It's good for you.
440
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,149
- What's up with Ken?
- I know. Doesn't he have a healthy glow?
441
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:01,158
I put him on a new vitamin regimen.
442
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,491
Is that safe? I mean,
you're not really a nurse, Terri.
443
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,690
Don't start criticizing my work, Will...
444
00:26:06,765 --> 00:26:08,756
not when I'm just getting my sea legs.
445
00:26:15,373 --> 00:26:17,637
Isn't this nice? I mean,
when is the last time...
446
00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:20,507
- we got to have lunch together
on a weekday, hmm?
- Hmm.
447
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:24,481
Oh, honey, you have a little mustard... Just...
448
00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:28,110
Geez, Terri.
449
00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:30,484
- This is my workplace.
-
I'm sorry, honey.
450
00:26:30,555 --> 00:26:34,355
- It's just that my hormones
are going really crazy for you.
- Hey, look. Look.
451
00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,462
You being here...
is not good for our marriage.
452
00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:41,556
Spending time together
is not good for our marriage?
453
00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:45,034
Not every minute.
There's no separation.
454
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:48,834
We used to come home every night
a-and talk about our day.
455
00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:50,841
Now we have nothing to say to each other.
456
00:26:52,377 --> 00:26:55,938
A lot of ants on the sidewalk today.
457
00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:01,415
Pretty late in the season for that.
458
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:07,653
I think this is just forcing us
to expand our intellectual horizons.
459
00:27:07,726 --> 00:27:09,216
- Where are you going?
- The bathroom.
460
00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:11,421
- I'll come with you.
- No.
461
00:27:11,496 --> 00:27:14,727
I love you, but... I need my space.
462
00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:21,872
Hmph.
463
00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:28,846
- Now's your chance, Ken.
- What, here? Now?
464
00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:33,383
- Hi, Emma.
- Hi, Ken.
465
00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:36,113
What are you doing?
466
00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:38,314
Look, Emma. I know our relationship
hasn't been perfect.
467
00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:41,188
You won't ride in my car.
I can't touch you above the wrist.
468
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:44,786
Remember, you cried for an hour that time my
elbow accidentally brushed by your breast.
469
00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:46,797
But I think about you all day long.
470
00:27:46,865 --> 00:27:50,460
I kiss that picture of us at the state
fair every night before I go to sleep.
471
00:27:52,037 --> 00:27:54,562
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
This isn't happening. This is a dream.
472
00:27:54,639 --> 00:27:58,097
- Emma Pillsbury, this is not an engagement ring.
- Oh, thank goodness.
473
00:27:58,176 --> 00:28:01,703
No. I mean, it is. But I-it's more than
that. It's... It's a promise.
474
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:05,648
Look, Emma. I know you have
this thing about being clean.
475
00:28:05,717 --> 00:28:09,585
Now I can't promise to pick up my
underwear or squeegee the shower door...
476
00:28:09,654 --> 00:28:13,317
but I can promise
to keep your life clean of sadness...
477
00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:17,088
and loneliness... and any other dark
clouds that might float into it.
478
00:28:20,498 --> 00:28:25,435
It's cubic zirconia. I know how affected
you were by
Blood Diamond.
479
00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:30,941
Emma Pillsbury... "M&M"...
will you marry me?
480
00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:41,479
Thank you so much. It really is a pleasure.
While the boys chose songs that cast an eye...
481
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:44,989
inward on the irresponsible life choices
and sexual hunger of today's modern teens...
482
00:28:45,056 --> 00:28:48,048
we have chosen a selection of songs that
speaks to the nation as a whole...
483
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:51,687
during these troubling times filled with
economic uncertainty and unbridled social woe.
484
00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,857
Because if there's two things America needs
right now, that is sunshine and optimism.
485
00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:59,261
Also angels.
486
00:29:01,206 --> 00:29:04,369
Okay.
487
00:30:42,273 --> 00:30:45,299
Whoo! Ha-ha!
488
00:30:45,376 --> 00:30:48,038
Ladies, I... I don't even know what to say.
489
00:30:48,112 --> 00:30:50,774
You did such a good job.
490
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:53,716
I don't know what you guys did,
but whatever it was, keep doing it!
491
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:57,243
Our celebrity judge
has her work cut out for her.
492
00:30:57,322 --> 00:31:00,086
Hey, great job, guys.
493
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:05,218
Okay. All right.
Whoo. What the...
494
00:31:06,164 --> 00:31:08,223
Ha!
495
00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:13,236
- Hey, Emma, um, can you walk with me?
- Yeah.
496
00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:19,235
- Well, I think your, uh... think your plan worked.
- Yeah.
497
00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:21,972
Instilling a sense
of good, clean competition in these kids...
498
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:24,708
I think, um...
I think you really motivated them.
499
00:31:24,782 --> 00:31:29,344
Well, actually, I consider you a co conspirator.
We came up with the idea together.
500
00:31:30,421 --> 00:31:32,889
So...
501
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:35,187
is it true about Ken asking to marry you?
502
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:38,794
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
503
00:31:41,332 --> 00:31:43,823
What are you gonna do?
504
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,836
I don't know.
505
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,065
Can you, um...
506
00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:50,607
Can you think of
any other options I might have?
507
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:57,109
I-Is that a reason to marry someone?
508
00:31:58,616 --> 00:32:00,550
That's not what I'm asking.
509
00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:15,922
Emma.
510
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,026
Terri. Um...
511
00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:21,901
Hi. What can I, uh...
512
00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:24,874
What can I... do for you?
513
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:27,002
I just wanted to cut to the chase...
514
00:32:27,078 --> 00:32:29,478
that things have been a little awkward
since I started working here.
515
00:32:29,547 --> 00:32:33,005
- I just wanted to clear the air.
- Oh.
516
00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:36,520
That's, um... That's actually really nice.
Why don't you just...
517
00:32:36,587 --> 00:32:39,750
You have no chance with my husband.
Do I make myself clear?
518
00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:43,419
Oh, you might think there's some kind of
competition going on between you and I...
519
00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:46,486
but that's like saying
that a nail is competing with a hammer.
520
00:32:49,834 --> 00:32:51,927
- Terri, Will is a good man.
- Uh-huh.
521
00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:53,937
He's kind...
522
00:32:54,005 --> 00:32:58,601
and he's generous,
and he deserves a lot better than you.
523
00:32:58,676 --> 00:33:02,271
Emma, Will is my husband.
524
00:33:03,848 --> 00:33:05,975
Look at you.
525
00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:10,453
You are so superior, because you're nice
to a man that you see for an hour or two a day.
526
00:33:10,521 --> 00:33:14,218
You're just an innocent little dove. Hmm?
527
00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:17,955
You're so innocent that you would steal
a man away from his pregnant wife.
528
00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:19,963
Yeah.
529
00:33:20,031 --> 00:33:24,593
Do yourself a favor, honey.
Marry Ken Tanaka.
530
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:27,900
Oh, sure, he's dumb like sand,
and his fondue pot of nationalities...
531
00:33:27,972 --> 00:33:30,532
is gonna open your kids up
to a host of genetic diseases...
532
00:33:30,608 --> 00:33:34,066
but he's kind, and
he's generous.
533
00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:36,773
And he's available.
534
00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:46,089
Hmm.
535
00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:56,099
-
Mrs. Schuester.
- Mm-hmm.
536
00:33:56,167 --> 00:33:59,398
I need to talk to you...
about the baby.
537
00:33:59,470 --> 00:34:02,439
Is everything okay? Wait, you're not
having it right now, are you?
538
00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:06,409
- What? No. Aren't you supposed to be a nurse?
- Mm-hmm.
539
00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:13,412
- I've been thinking about your offer.
- Yeah?
540
00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:16,009
I like my life.
541
00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:19,454
I like being a cheerleader...
542
00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:25,394
and I can't believe I'm actually saying this,
but I really like being in Glee Club.
543
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:30,196
I have all these great things in my life,
and it already feels like too much.
544
00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:35,771
I can't raise a baby.
545
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,509
You know, honestly, I don't even know
how you kids do it nowadays.
546
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:44,673
I mean, I-I didn't have it this bad
when I was your age.
547
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:48,344
I mean, there weren't as many
TV channels either though.
548
00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:50,387
Is Finn okay with this?
'Cause, you know...
549
00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:53,322
I don't want any baby-daddy drama
when you hand it over to me.
550
00:34:53,391 --> 00:34:56,792
He's the reason I'm doing this.
551
00:34:56,861 --> 00:35:01,127
He's such a good guy.
And he internalizes all this pressure.
552
00:35:01,199 --> 00:35:04,032
He's gonna have a heart attack.
553
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:09,734
I never want Mr. Schuester to find out about
this though. I don't wanna hurt him either.
554
00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:12,367
Oh, your secret's safe with me.
555
00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:14,377
I have a lot more to lose.
556
00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:17,573
One more thing.
557
00:35:17,648 --> 00:35:20,913
- You know how you gave me
those vitamins for the baby?
- Mm-hmm.
558
00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:23,283
I really appreciated that...
559
00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:26,380
um, but I'm gonna have
all these doctors' bills...
560
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:28,391
and I'm gonna need
some new maternity clothes.
561
00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:31,986
- You want money from me?
- It's gonna be your baby.
562
00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:36,090
Which means I'm gonna be paying the bills for
18 years. I think you can handle nine months.
563
00:35:36,167 --> 00:35:40,797
Look, you're making the right call here,
Quinn. It's what's best for everybody.
564
00:35:55,853 --> 00:35:57,582
Hi.
565
00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:03,560
Hi.
566
00:36:04,795 --> 00:36:06,786
Um, I can't...
I can't stay long in this room...
567
00:36:06,864 --> 00:36:09,958
because of the germs, you know,
and because of the odor.
568
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,101
But I have a question.
569
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,141
Anything for you, Emma.
570
00:36:19,544 --> 00:36:22,104
So what would, um...
571
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:25,775
what would getting married
mean... exactly?
572
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:30,150
Because I would wanna keep my last name...
573
00:36:30,221 --> 00:36:34,180
and I'd wanna continue living
in different parts of town.
574
00:36:34,258 --> 00:36:38,251
And, um, I think it would be best
if we didn't see each other after school.
575
00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:40,297
Sure.
576
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:45,495
And I wouldn't want a big ceremony, you
know, like in a church or with... people.
577
00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:48,095
We wouldn't have to invite anybody,
you know, or tell anybody actually.
578
00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:50,834
It could be more like a secret, you know...
like a secret marriage.
579
00:36:50,908 --> 00:36:54,105
That's actually a better deal
than I expected.
580
00:36:55,813 --> 00:36:57,974
You're a really good man, Ken.
581
00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:04,983
And I don't want to spend
the rest of my life alone...
582
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:07,752
and I know that you don't either.
583
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:13,053
So...
584
00:37:14,265 --> 00:37:16,199
is that a yes?
585
00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:23,806
What's up, A-Rach?
586
00:37:23,874 --> 00:37:26,638
Hey, sweet mash-up.
You guys were so... energetic.
587
00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,544
We were just taking a lesson
from Major League Baseball.
588
00:37:29,614 --> 00:37:32,276
l-l-It's not cheating
if everyone's doing it.
589
00:37:32,350 --> 00:37:35,547
- We were just leveling out the playing field.
- You really believe that?
590
00:37:37,955 --> 00:37:41,049
No. Okay? I-I feel terrible.
591
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,389
Even if we win,
it's not gonna be satisfying.
592
00:37:43,461 --> 00:37:47,192
I know. I don't even remember performing.
593
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,927
What do you think we should do?
594
00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:54,131
I think... the only way to make things right
is to just withdraw from the competition...
595
00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:58,369
You know, admit that we were wrong and
disqualify our respective teams immediately.
596
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:02,037
- No one gets to win.
- Cool.
597
00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:09,918
I'm sorry about what I said the other day, about
calling you contemptible and deplorable.
598
00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:12,979
Ah, that's all right.
I didn't even know what those words meant.
599
00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:16,390
W-What I meant to say is that...
600
00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:19,520
I guess I get caught up
in the competitive hysteria too.
601
00:38:19,597 --> 00:38:21,531
My goals are too selfish.
602
00:38:21,599 --> 00:38:24,932
You know, it's time for me to stop
competing against everyone...
603
00:38:25,002 --> 00:38:28,699
and start competing alongside them.
604
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,538
What the hell were you thinking?
605
00:38:37,615 --> 00:38:40,607
- You gave drugs to my students?
- I'll say it again.
606
00:38:40,685 --> 00:38:44,246
They are over-the-counter, F.D.A. approved,
and if I didn't give it to them...
607
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,756
I'm sure the kids would just
find a way to get it for themselves.
608
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:50,590
- No. No, they wouldn't. These are good kids.
- Nothing bad happened.
609
00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:52,595
Howard Bamboo got arrested.
610
00:38:55,533 --> 00:38:58,400
- Well, that.
- Wait. What?
611
00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:03,429
Pseudo ephedrine is an ingredient
in the manufacturing of methamphetamines.
612
00:39:03,507 --> 00:39:06,203
Howard got picked up by the feds on
suspicion of running a crystal meth lab.
613
00:39:06,277 --> 00:39:08,745
I never told Howard
to get them all in one place.
614
00:39:08,813 --> 00:39:10,747
Okay, enough, Terri.
615
00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:12,806
How are we supposed to raise a baby...
616
00:39:12,883 --> 00:39:16,375
when I can't trust you
to look after a group of teenagers?
617
00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:18,388
You are oblivious to consequences.
618
00:39:18,456 --> 00:39:21,983
- I was only trying to help you, Will.
- Don't.
619
00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:25,825
Every time I light a fire in my life...
620
00:39:25,896 --> 00:39:29,297
you find a way to make sure
it burns the forest down.
621
00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:35,795
I have serious concerns
about your judgment, Mrs. Schuester.
622
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:38,467
I must ask you to resign as school nurse.
623
00:39:39,777 --> 00:39:43,474
Fine. I was working too hard anyway.
624
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:50,012
Hold on to your horses, Schue. I have to
question your judgment in the matter as well.
625
00:39:50,087 --> 00:39:52,487
What? I had no idea
this was even going on.
626
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:56,117
Exactly. The children rely
on you to create the culture...
627
00:39:56,193 --> 00:40:00,994
and you, with your obsession
with winning and competition...
628
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:04,091
has fostered an unsafe environment.
629
00:40:04,168 --> 00:40:07,296
I'm bringing in someone else
to co chair the Glee Club.
630
00:40:07,371 --> 00:40:12,536
Someone with a track record
of responsibility and excellence.
631
00:40:14,678 --> 00:40:16,873
We're really sorry, Mr. Schue.
632
00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:19,006
We didn't mean to get you into trouble.
633
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:23,849
I'm really disappointed in you guys.
634
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,855
Glee is supposed to be about
what's inside your heart...
635
00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:27,823
not what's coursing through your veins.
636
00:40:27,892 --> 00:40:30,452
We know, and I think
I speak for everyone when I say...
637
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:33,520
that we'd be happy to move forward
and put this episode behind us.
638
00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:35,861
Well, it's not that simple.
639
00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:37,867
Because of this debacle...
640
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:40,733
it's been decided that I'm no longer fit
to run Glee Club myself.
641
00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:44,500
We've been assigned a co director.
642
00:40:44,575 --> 00:40:46,475
Who?
643
00:40:46,544 --> 00:40:48,409
Hey, kids.
644
00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:51,243
I gotta tell ya, I'm just thrilled...
645
00:40:51,315 --> 00:40:53,249
to becoming on board...
646
00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:56,616
to co captain your little showbiz cruise.
647
00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,712
Ah, I can't wait to start
singin' and dancin' ...
648
00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:01,223
and maybe even puttin' on
the Ritz a little bit.
649
00:41:06,664 --> 00:41:09,224
Will?
650
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,907
I wanted you to, um... to hear this from me.
651
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,179
You know Ken, um, asked me to marry him.
652
00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:28,741
I said yes.
653
00:41:30,588 --> 00:41:32,522
That's...
654
00:41:34,291 --> 00:41:36,225
That's great.
55997