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1
00:01:03,504 --> 00:01:06,733
Someone once said that two halves
make a whole.
2
00:01:09,872 --> 00:01:11,912
And when two halves move in together...
3
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,668
it makes a whole lot of stuff.
4
00:01:15,697 --> 00:01:16,973
Hey, what's...
5
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,593
Hi pop-tart, where you been
and what have you been doing?
6
00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:22,185
I got coffee and papers...
7
00:01:22,257 --> 00:01:26,185
but I think the more pressing question is,
what have you been doing?
8
00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:27,664
Made myself an area.
9
00:01:27,984 --> 00:01:29,741
Yes, I can see that.
10
00:01:29,809 --> 00:01:33,191
I needed a space for my work papers
and stuff, you know, so...
11
00:01:33,265 --> 00:01:34,193
is that okay?
12
00:01:34,257 --> 00:01:36,297
Yeah, sure, yes. It's just...
13
00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:38,318
you're blocking the bathroom door.
14
00:01:38,386 --> 00:01:40,687
Yeah, but you got another one.
Who needs two?
15
00:01:40,754 --> 00:01:42,280
I do, me.
16
00:01:42,449 --> 00:01:44,816
Me, the one who loves
her two bathroom doors.
17
00:01:44,881 --> 00:01:46,311
Why do you need two doors?
18
00:01:46,385 --> 00:01:50,030
Sometimes I'm in a hurry and
it's just quicker to go, ping, out that one...
19
00:01:50,098 --> 00:01:52,716
- and it's my escape route in case.
- In case what?
20
00:01:52,786 --> 00:01:54,958
In case rapists
come in my bedroom window...
21
00:01:55,026 --> 00:01:57,360
I see them in the mirror
and then, phew, I'm gone.
22
00:01:57,426 --> 00:02:00,460
There's a whole lot of phewing going on
in that bathroom.
23
00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:04,779
It's just gonna be like this until we're able
to take over the apartment next door...
24
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,443
then we can load the stuff in.
25
00:02:06,514 --> 00:02:10,060
And would that be happening
in the next five minutes please, God?
26
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,367
Closing at the end of next week.
27
00:02:13,714 --> 00:02:15,121
Hello, Petey.
28
00:02:15,186 --> 00:02:18,285
Really, what's the problem, right?
It's just boxes, right?
29
00:02:19,795 --> 00:02:20,973
A plant!
30
00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:23,464
The man brought a living thing
into my apartment.
31
00:02:23,539 --> 00:02:26,060
I don't do plants.
I kill everything I bring in there.
32
00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:28,171
You said yes to moving in, he moved in.
33
00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:30,283
But he's taking over whole areas.
34
00:02:30,355 --> 00:02:32,330
This is why I've never lived with a man.
35
00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:35,339
This, and the fact that I want them out
an hour after I climax.
36
00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:37,005
You let them stay a whole hour?
37
00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:40,371
You'd be surprised how many
are ready to go again after a quick catnap.
38
00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:42,640
And there's no walls,
there's nowhere to hide.
39
00:02:42,708 --> 00:02:44,683
As soon as I walk in, he's all up with:
40
00:02:44,756 --> 00:02:47,691
"Who'd you see? Where'd you go?
Who'd ya meet? What'd ya know?"
41
00:02:47,764 --> 00:02:51,507
What I know is, I need time to decompress.
42
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,811
Just be alone.
43
00:02:52,884 --> 00:02:56,146
But there have to be some adjustments.
Relationships are hard.
44
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,632
You guys,
I miss walking into my apartment...
45
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,155
with no one there and it's all quiet...
46
00:03:02,613 --> 00:03:05,929
and I can do that stuff you do
when you're totally alone...
47
00:03:06,005 --> 00:03:09,867
things you would never want
your boyfriend to see you do.
48
00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,086
Like masturbate?
49
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,874
My S.S.B., my Secret Single Behavior.
50
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:16,555
Like, I like to make a stack of saltines.
51
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,287
I put grape jelly on them.
52
00:03:18,421 --> 00:03:21,837
I eat them standing up in the kitchen
reading fashion magazines.
53
00:03:21,909 --> 00:03:23,022
Why standing up?
54
00:03:23,093 --> 00:03:25,330
It's weird, but it just feels great.
55
00:03:25,398 --> 00:03:27,470
I like to put Vaseline on my hands...
56
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,029
and put them in
Borghese conditioning gloves...
57
00:03:30,102 --> 00:03:31,662
while watching infomercials.
58
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,042
Before I was married...
59
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:36,907
I used to study my pores in
a magnifying mirror for an hour each night.
60
00:03:36,982 --> 00:03:39,154
But I'm afraid Trey will think it's weird.
61
00:03:39,222 --> 00:03:41,939
He would.
You can't do that stuff in front of men.
62
00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:44,011
What about you, Lolita?
63
00:03:44,086 --> 00:03:46,672
Anything you do
you wouldn't want a man to see?
64
00:03:46,775 --> 00:03:47,757
No.
65
00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:49,712
You know, I believe her.
66
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,576
Hey, didn't we make a rule
about those things at lunch?
67
00:03:54,647 --> 00:03:56,883
It's my boss, I have to take it.
68
00:03:57,591 --> 00:03:58,835
Samantha Jones.
69
00:03:59,351 --> 00:04:01,260
Richard, it's Sunday.
70
00:04:02,135 --> 00:04:03,182
Fine.
71
00:04:03,415 --> 00:04:05,008
I'll see you in an hour.
72
00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:08,470
He wants me to drop
something off this afternoon.
73
00:04:08,535 --> 00:04:09,745
Nice.
74
00:04:09,815 --> 00:04:12,947
A little skyrockets in flight,
afternoon delight?
75
00:04:13,015 --> 00:04:14,738
No, it's just work.
76
00:04:14,935 --> 00:04:16,942
Hardly, you're sleeping with him.
77
00:04:17,496 --> 00:04:18,706
You told them?
78
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:22,353
I also like to gossip on the phone
while secretly pumicing my calluses.
79
00:04:22,423 --> 00:04:23,667
So, how is he?
80
00:04:23,735 --> 00:04:26,289
And spare no detail,
I'm a horny pregnant person.
81
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,214
I don't want to talk about it.
82
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:33,204
Samantha likes a guy.
83
00:04:33,336 --> 00:04:35,507
- I do not.
- You do! You do!
84
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,649
Or you would tell us all the dirty details.
85
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,109
My God, we're gonna
have to ice skate home.
86
00:04:40,185 --> 00:04:41,810
Hell just froze over.
87
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,052
Okay, you want details?
88
00:04:46,297 --> 00:04:49,144
He's got the most perfect dick
I've ever seen.
89
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,789
Long, pink, amazing.
90
00:04:53,497 --> 00:04:55,122
It's dick-a-licious.
91
00:04:55,673 --> 00:04:58,455
All right, so,
what should I do about Aidan's stuff?
92
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,641
I'm gonna have the girls over for dinner.
93
00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:04,950
That sounds like fun. What night?
94
00:05:05,017 --> 00:05:06,359
Just the girls.
95
00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,206
I'm trying to get my day planner
back together.
96
00:05:09,273 --> 00:05:11,924
I have much more free time
since we left the baby track.
97
00:05:11,993 --> 00:05:14,743
Some apartments are cluttered
with physical stuff...
98
00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:16,719
others, emotional stuff.
99
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,736
It's a big readjustment.
100
00:05:18,874 --> 00:05:21,263
I've wanted a baby
ever since I was a little girl.
101
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:23,542
We have a baby room and no baby.
102
00:05:25,594 --> 00:05:27,252
I've got some good news.
103
00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:31,731
Bram Pomander thinks
he's snagged us orchestra seats...
104
00:05:31,802 --> 00:05:33,907
to The Producers next week.
105
00:05:36,475 --> 00:05:38,864
Charlotte, yes, we're disappointed.
106
00:05:39,195 --> 00:05:40,755
But life goes on.
107
00:05:40,859 --> 00:05:43,379
We still have to find a way to have a giggle.
108
00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:45,648
Come on, give me a smile.
109
00:05:55,643 --> 00:05:57,748
Hold on! Potential investors in Munich.
110
00:05:57,819 --> 00:06:00,023
I wish I knew how to say
"fuck you" in German.
111
00:06:00,091 --> 00:06:01,106
Fick mich.
112
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:02,675
Fick mich.
113
00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:06,356
Impressive.
114
00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:08,091
Why do you speak German?
115
00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:10,066
A gal has her reasons.
116
00:06:10,139 --> 00:06:12,506
Actually, that wasn't "fuck you,"
it was "fuck me."
117
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,993
That's a negotiation ploy
I haven't tried before.
118
00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:16,246
Who are you kidding?
119
00:06:16,316 --> 00:06:18,585
Where's the layout
for the L.A. Magazine spread?
120
00:06:18,652 --> 00:06:20,594
Signed, sealed, delivered.
121
00:06:20,668 --> 00:06:22,075
And one more thing.
122
00:06:25,629 --> 00:06:26,938
It was perfect.
123
00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,940
Long, pink, amazing.
124
00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:34,866
I thought about you all weekend.
125
00:06:37,181 --> 00:06:40,793
Let me see if I can give you something
to think about all evening.
126
00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:45,462
Bring out that gorgeous dick.
127
00:06:45,854 --> 00:06:48,439
You're gonna get down on your knees
right here?
128
00:06:48,637 --> 00:06:50,742
What if my assistant should see you?
129
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,052
Oops!
130
00:06:57,406 --> 00:06:59,228
I dropped my portfolio.
131
00:07:01,277 --> 00:07:03,350
That may take some time to pick up.
132
00:07:11,838 --> 00:07:15,384
Das ist einen sch�nen perfekten Schwanz.
133
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:25,465
Whoops. Better get those,
while you're down there.
134
00:07:27,135 --> 00:07:30,070
If I had known you were gonna
turn out to be so not a loser...
135
00:07:30,143 --> 00:07:32,729
I would have run home
after work and changed.
136
00:07:32,799 --> 00:07:35,286
Or at least put on some fresh deodorant.
137
00:07:37,151 --> 00:07:39,736
Careful. I was a much younger man...
138
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,946
when we started setting up this blind date.
139
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:44,536
You're the one who kept canceling
to go to...
140
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:45,622
Where were you?
141
00:07:45,695 --> 00:07:47,288
First time, Spain and Rome...
142
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:49,880
the second time, Luxembourg and Athens.
143
00:07:49,952 --> 00:07:53,661
Walker Lewis, fluent in five languages,
traveled the world...
144
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,582
as a State Department interpreter.
145
00:07:55,648 --> 00:07:57,306
Seriously, Miranda...
146
00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:00,062
best blind date I have ever had...
147
00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:02,805
in the continental U.S.A.
148
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,792
What?
149
00:08:17,889 --> 00:08:21,402
Listen, any reason I can't see you again
before I go to Brussels?
150
00:08:24,449 --> 00:08:26,750
He is so cute and funny and sexy.
151
00:08:26,817 --> 00:08:29,632
And I really want to have sex with him.
But I don't know.
152
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:33,341
Is it okay to fuck one guy when
you're pregnant with another guy's baby?
153
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:35,930
If one more person asks me that today...
154
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:40,279
I mean, I'm not in a relationship
with the father of the baby or anything.
155
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,038
I've rarely heard that used as a plus,
but go on.
156
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,080
It's just... Is it tacky?
157
00:08:45,154 --> 00:08:47,259
And beyond tacky, is it safe?
158
00:08:47,329 --> 00:08:49,337
Let's assume he's a really great fuck.
159
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:50,784
Because so many men are.
160
00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:54,233
Could all that poking
shake the baby loose or something?
161
00:08:54,562 --> 00:08:56,122
No, that's silly.
162
00:08:56,482 --> 00:08:58,871
Married couples have sex all the time.
163
00:08:59,074 --> 00:09:00,351
But what if he's huge?
164
00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,305
Again, 'cause so many men are.
165
00:09:02,371 --> 00:09:04,193
Could the dick dent the baby?
166
00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:06,429
Where do you think dimples come from?
167
00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:08,416
That is so cute.
168
00:09:08,483 --> 00:09:09,595
I try.
169
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:12,481
Okay, I really need
to have sex with him now.
170
00:09:12,771 --> 00:09:16,481
Next time he comes back in town,
I'll be too big and he won't want to.
171
00:09:16,547 --> 00:09:19,264
Nothing puts a man off sex like pregnancy.
172
00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:22,873
This is my last chance.
173
00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,657
Last chance for sex.
174
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,512
You're not on death row.
175
00:09:27,588 --> 00:09:29,693
Yes, I am, dead woman fucking.
176
00:09:29,923 --> 00:09:32,825
It's your body, your life.
You do what's best for you.
177
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,722
Easier said than done.
178
00:09:34,787 --> 00:09:38,399
You can't even ask Aidan not to talk
when you walk in the front door.
179
00:09:39,396 --> 00:09:42,014
Hi, Mrs. Cohen! Hold on a second.
180
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,609
Here, let me help you.
181
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,302
Hold on, here we go.
182
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,227
Hello. Okay?
183
00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:50,077
That's a crazy outfit.
184
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:55,097
Okay, Mrs. Cohen,
this is my friend, Miranda.
185
00:09:55,204 --> 00:09:56,797
Hello, Mrs. Cohen.
186
00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:03,260
Listen, you tell your boy
I'm not leaving for 30 days.
187
00:10:03,589 --> 00:10:04,636
What?
188
00:10:05,061 --> 00:10:07,003
But we're closing in a week.
189
00:10:07,205 --> 00:10:08,798
Read the contract!
190
00:10:10,405 --> 00:10:13,438
I didn't think Mrs. Cohen
could move any slower...
191
00:10:13,957 --> 00:10:16,129
but apparently she could.
192
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:20,093
Gal, what's up?
193
00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:22,075
Where you been? What do you know?
194
00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:29,158
Brace yourself, partner.
195
00:10:29,222 --> 00:10:31,556
I been outside, and what's up...
196
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:35,234
is Old Lightning Rod
next door informs me...
197
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:39,268
she will not be leaving for 30 days.
198
00:10:40,614 --> 00:10:43,429
I was afraid she was gonna do that. Fuck!
199
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:44,699
Fuck!
200
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:47,644
What the fuck
are we gonna fucking do now?
201
00:10:50,022 --> 00:10:51,364
Thank you.
202
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,206
You hate it, too, I'm so relieved!
203
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,864
I thought you'd already changed into a pod.
204
00:10:56,934 --> 00:10:59,236
Invasion of the Single Snatchers.
205
00:11:00,807 --> 00:11:02,301
Of course I hate it.
206
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,029
We cannot live like this.
207
00:11:06,439 --> 00:11:09,952
I mean, I got all my boxes in the hall.
You can't get in the fucking door.
208
00:11:10,023 --> 00:11:11,649
I know, did you see me?
209
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,265
- Every time! Every single time!
- We gotta get this stuff out of here.
210
00:11:15,335 --> 00:11:18,565
We could make some room for it
if we cleaned out your closet.
211
00:11:22,184 --> 00:11:23,362
Careful!
212
00:11:23,752 --> 00:11:25,857
Okay, damn, my ears.
213
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:27,490
Listen to me.
214
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,488
I have laid out clean towels
on the floor of the bathroom.
215
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:35,870
Gently place the shoes and boxes on them.
216
00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:44,866
I forgot I had these.
217
00:11:44,936 --> 00:11:46,595
Things are looking up.
218
00:11:46,729 --> 00:11:48,834
How many pairs of shoes
does one person need?
219
00:11:48,905 --> 00:11:51,393
That is not the way to get out of this alive.
220
00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:56,038
I figure I'm gonna need
about half this space.
221
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:58,276
I figure you've gone mentally ill.
222
00:11:58,345 --> 00:12:00,931
- You never wear most of this stuff.
- Yet!
223
00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:03,969
I never wear most of this stuff yet.
Someday I will.
224
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:08,192
Like this?
225
00:12:08,266 --> 00:12:11,135
When and where were you
planning to wear this?
226
00:12:12,169 --> 00:12:14,690
Don't do that. Don't mock the clothes.
227
00:12:15,178 --> 00:12:17,480
And for the record, have worn it.
228
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,291
December, '99, Union Square...
229
00:12:20,555 --> 00:12:21,961
book signing.
230
00:12:22,794 --> 00:12:24,452
We gotta start somewhere.
231
00:12:24,938 --> 00:12:26,662
Come on, I love this outfit.
232
00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:32,038
That's when I realized I was holding onto
a Roberto Cavalli outfit...
233
00:12:32,107 --> 00:12:34,441
and throwing away my relationship.
234
00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:36,262
- Okay, it goes!
- Good.
235
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:38,017
Bye.
236
00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:44,898
Pete!
237
00:12:46,827 --> 00:12:47,875
Hey, Pete!
238
00:12:47,947 --> 00:12:50,281
Stop it! Pete, stop it!
239
00:12:50,924 --> 00:12:53,924
- Pete, my God!
- Pete, hey!
240
00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:57,379
Don't show it to me,
don't even show it to me!
241
00:12:57,451 --> 00:12:59,077
I think I saw turquoise.
242
00:12:59,148 --> 00:13:01,569
That better not be the pair I think!
243
00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:03,876
Goddamn it!
244
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:08,514
That dog owes me $380.
245
00:13:08,844 --> 00:13:12,390
- Fine.
- You can't buy it, it's circa 1996!
246
00:13:13,324 --> 00:13:14,633
Goddamn it!
247
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:18,792
He's a dog, what's he supposed to do
with all your shit lying around here?
248
00:13:18,861 --> 00:13:22,756
My shit wouldn't be lying around
if we weren't making room...
249
00:13:22,828 --> 00:13:25,032
because your shit is lying around.
250
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,239
You got more shit lying around than I got.
251
00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:29,064
What? Look at this place.
252
00:13:29,132 --> 00:13:30,659
It's loaded with your shit.
253
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:32,773
Just look at this bathroom!
254
00:13:32,941 --> 00:13:35,429
Look at all your shit in my bathroom.
255
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:40,171
Who needs five almost-empty
Speedstick deodorants?
256
00:13:40,238 --> 00:13:41,798
What are you, a crazy bag man?
257
00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:43,396
They're different smells!
258
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,608
And when have you ever worn musk?
259
00:13:45,677 --> 00:13:48,809
Look at this stuff,
you got old razors, Rogaine...
260
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:52,812
Wait a minute. You use Rogaine?
261
00:13:52,877 --> 00:13:55,333
- I didn't know you needed...
- It's preventative!
262
00:13:55,405 --> 00:13:58,188
- Is your hair falling out?
- I don't want to talk about it!
263
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,287
It seems it's not only women
who have Secret Single Behavior.
264
00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:04,075
This is my stuff!
Don't be going through my stuff.
265
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:06,443
You were more than happy
to go through my stuff.
266
00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:08,299
Your stuff, your bathroom.
267
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:10,788
You always do that,
you never want to let me in.
268
00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:13,164
I don't "always do" anything.
269
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,943
And I have let you in.
270
00:14:16,014 --> 00:14:18,796
You're fighting with me
about a stupid fucking outfit!
271
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,361
Shut up!
272
00:14:20,431 --> 00:14:22,056
It's Roberto Cavalli.
273
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:24,200
I threw it away and I love it!
274
00:14:24,271 --> 00:14:26,507
- What more do you want?
- Shut up?
275
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:29,353
- Shut up!
- Yes, shut up!
276
00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:31,470
You're telling me to shut up?
277
00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:34,382
Please, just shut up!
278
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:37,895
I'm so sick of hearing you talking
all the time!
279
00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:39,877
Don't you ever just shut up?
280
00:14:39,952 --> 00:14:41,959
- I'm gonna take a walk.
- No.
281
00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:44,902
I'm taking a walk!
282
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:48,998
You can stay here with your boxes of shit
and your shoe-eating dog...
283
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:53,259
and you can knock yourself out
putting on the Rogaine and the Speedstick!
284
00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:59,559
This is why I need a second door!
285
00:15:02,256 --> 00:15:03,663
I heard that!
286
00:15:06,225 --> 00:15:09,127
I used to think those people
who sat alone at Starbucks...
287
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,656
writing on their laptops
were pretentious poseurs.
288
00:15:11,921 --> 00:15:13,295
Now, I know.
289
00:15:13,361 --> 00:15:15,947
They're people who have recently
moved in with someone.
290
00:15:16,017 --> 00:15:17,261
As I looked around...
291
00:15:17,329 --> 00:15:19,849
I wondered how many of them
were mid-fight...
292
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,263
like myself.
293
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:26,283
The thing about fighting in relationships,
as opposed to Madison Square Garden...
294
00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:27,301
no referee.
295
00:15:27,377 --> 00:15:30,312
There's no one to tell you
which comments are below the belt...
296
00:15:30,386 --> 00:15:32,361
or when to go to your separate corners.
297
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,954
As a result, someone usually gets hurt.
298
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,706
And it seems, the closer a couple gets...
299
00:15:37,777 --> 00:15:40,047
and the more "stuff"
they have between them...
300
00:15:40,114 --> 00:15:43,430
the harder it is to figure out
exactly why they are yelling.
301
00:15:43,506 --> 00:15:45,197
When it comes to relationships...
302
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:46,793
I couldn't help but wonder...
303
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:48,775
what are we fighting for?
304
00:15:52,211 --> 00:15:53,804
Hello, my darling.
305
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:56,364
I'm home!
306
00:16:00,722 --> 00:16:03,625
What are you... Is that a surprise for me?
307
00:16:03,698 --> 00:16:04,942
Yes, it is.
308
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:07,793
Don't get all excited,
it's just a little silly something.
309
00:16:07,859 --> 00:16:09,681
- What is it?
- Open it.
310
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,455
It's a cardboard baby.
311
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:21,105
I saw it in the window of a novelty store
next to the hospital.
312
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:24,271
See, now we can relax because we have one.
313
00:16:33,108 --> 00:16:34,285
Oh, dear.
314
00:16:34,644 --> 00:16:36,400
It was supposed to be funny.
315
00:16:36,468 --> 00:16:38,607
I thought we'd have a chuckle.
316
00:16:38,772 --> 00:16:40,332
Don't talk to me.
317
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:42,634
See, it was a novelty store.
318
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:45,482
And the clerk said that they sell...
319
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,646
But to Charlotte,
it was definitely hitting below the belt.
320
00:16:49,749 --> 00:16:52,498
If the meat is about
a quarter of an inch thick...
321
00:16:53,493 --> 00:16:56,526
And across town,
Miranda decided it was time...
322
00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:59,313
to put on the gloves
and come out swinging.
323
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:01,262
Leave a message.
324
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,275
Hi, Walker, Miranda.
325
00:17:03,861 --> 00:17:07,658
Before you leave for Brussels on Monday,
how about getting together Friday night?
326
00:17:07,733 --> 00:17:09,424
My apartment, call me.
327
00:17:09,493 --> 00:17:13,552
Pregnant or not, Miranda had needs
and decided to stop fighting them.
328
00:17:16,598 --> 00:17:19,151
And surprisingly, Samantha developed...
329
00:17:19,222 --> 00:17:21,808
some Secret Single Behavior of her own.
330
00:17:30,646 --> 00:17:33,581
Seven hours and a landslide of lattes later...
331
00:17:33,879 --> 00:17:37,108
I vibrated home,
prepared to admit how silly I'd been.
332
00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:44,718
That was...
333
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:48,086
until he wasn't prepared to admit
how silly he'd been.
334
00:17:57,239 --> 00:17:59,148
He yelled, then I yelled.
335
00:17:59,639 --> 00:18:01,941
It's been three days, and nothing.
336
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:05,234
Not a word.
And I'll be damned if I say I'm sorry first.
337
00:18:05,304 --> 00:18:07,092
Trey and I hardly ever yell.
338
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,942
We're Wasps. Wasps don't yell, it's genetic.
339
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:13,837
- Would anyone like more salad?
- No, we're done, what's the main course?
340
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:18,004
Relax. Chew. You'll get laid.
You're not meeting until 10:00.
341
00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:19,894
Beef with Thai noodles.
342
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,092
Richard is thinking of opening
a hotel in Thailand.
343
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,866
Sweetie?
344
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:29,040
It's perfectly okay to like a guy.
345
00:18:29,112 --> 00:18:32,527
For the last time,
the only thing I like about Richard...
346
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,277
is his big, throbbing, rock-hard,
perfect dick.
347
00:18:38,712 --> 00:18:40,239
Forgot it was ladies' night.
348
00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:42,615
Trey, you're not supposed to be here.
349
00:18:42,681 --> 00:18:44,568
- Good evening, everyone.
- Hello.
350
00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:46,869
- Hi.
- Hello, Mrs.
351
00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:50,002
Still mad, I see.
352
00:18:51,353 --> 00:18:54,320
- I suppose she told you about the baby.
- No, I didn't.
353
00:18:54,393 --> 00:18:56,881
I never want to think about it again.
354
00:18:57,305 --> 00:18:58,417
See...
355
00:18:58,777 --> 00:19:02,323
- I was trying to make Charlotte laugh...
- It's not funny!
356
00:19:02,394 --> 00:19:04,783
Wait a minute now,
maybe they'll think it's funny.
357
00:19:04,858 --> 00:19:08,240
See, we were so tense about
not being able to have one...
358
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,031
that I gave Charlotte a cardboard baby.
359
00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:12,882
Isn't that funny?
360
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:19,319
Carrie, you're funny.
361
00:19:20,474 --> 00:19:22,896
Cardboard baby, that's funny, right?
362
00:19:23,386 --> 00:19:26,648
I mean, it's not funny "ha-ha," but silly.
363
00:19:29,275 --> 00:19:32,057
See, they sell them in novelty stores...
364
00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:36,752
and other people buy them,
and the clerk said that it was funny.
365
00:19:36,955 --> 00:19:39,989
- Maybe you have to see it.
- Don't you bring that thing in here!
366
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,073
It's silly.
367
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,708
Not to me it isn't!
368
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:46,708
How would you feel if I gave you
a cardboard cut out of a big flaccid penis?
369
00:19:46,779 --> 00:19:48,721
It's not so funny now, is it?
370
00:19:48,795 --> 00:19:52,178
Don't you bring that flat baby in here,
I will kill you!
371
00:19:52,572 --> 00:19:54,993
How dare you talk to me like that
in front of them?
372
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:58,101
They know about your penis problems!
They're sick of hearing it!
373
00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,561
There we were,
right in the middle of a Wasp nest.
374
00:20:00,636 --> 00:20:01,813
This is unforgivable!
375
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:04,982
No, what's unforgivable
is you denying me my baby...
376
00:20:05,052 --> 00:20:07,224
because of your own selfish, spoiled needs.
377
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:08,372
- I'm spoiled?
- Yes!
378
00:20:08,445 --> 00:20:09,971
You are spoiled!
379
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,240
Ever since we moved back in here,
it's been nothing but "baby, baby"!
380
00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:16,505
- What about me?
- Richard, hello.
381
00:20:17,468 --> 00:20:19,956
No, it's not too late to call.
382
00:20:20,028 --> 00:20:21,337
Everything but a baby!
383
00:20:21,405 --> 00:20:23,925
- We're gonna go.
- Good!
384
00:20:23,997 --> 00:20:27,827
Don't you talk to my friends like that!
Without a baby, they're all I have!
385
00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:28,916
And what am I?
386
00:20:28,989 --> 00:20:32,251
You are the man who gave me
a cardboard baby!
387
00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:35,000
- It was funny!
- No, it wasn't!
388
00:20:35,069 --> 00:20:36,531
Goodnight!
389
00:20:46,557 --> 00:20:50,354
Okay, what's so important
that it couldn't wait until...
390
00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:51,477
This.
391
00:20:57,374 --> 00:20:59,196
Let's get something straight.
392
00:20:59,262 --> 00:21:01,084
I want no part of that.
393
00:21:01,503 --> 00:21:04,252
That turns everything into
a big screaming mess.
394
00:21:04,318 --> 00:21:06,653
We are work and sex, nothing more.
395
00:21:07,646 --> 00:21:08,759
Now...
396
00:21:09,694 --> 00:21:12,760
kindly take off those pants
and show me your dick.
397
00:21:22,463 --> 00:21:25,082
I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
398
00:21:42,528 --> 00:21:44,667
That's what I'm talking about.
399
00:22:07,552 --> 00:22:10,902
Seeing a bantamweight championship
fight like Charlotte and Trey's...
400
00:22:10,977 --> 00:22:14,654
made me feel thankful that Aidan and I
were still in the banter weight division.
401
00:22:14,721 --> 00:22:15,997
I'm sorry.
402
00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:18,263
I'm sorry, too.
403
00:22:22,721 --> 00:22:24,958
That night, I slept in my clothes.
404
00:22:32,609 --> 00:22:35,326
Trey and his baby slept in the guest room.
405
00:22:36,290 --> 00:22:39,389
And Charlotte no longer
cared what Trey thought.
406
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,743
Fuck me!
407
00:22:47,811 --> 00:22:49,633
Fuck me like there's no tomorrow!
408
00:22:49,698 --> 00:22:51,007
Yeah!
409
00:22:51,074 --> 00:22:54,238
For her last meal,
the condemned woman had seconds...
410
00:22:55,714 --> 00:22:57,024
and thirds.
411
00:22:59,042 --> 00:23:02,141
Samantha met the dawn
after a night of S.S.B.
412
00:23:03,043 --> 00:23:04,865
Sexy Swimming Behavior.
413
00:23:15,075 --> 00:23:16,504
Dance with me.
414
00:23:17,060 --> 00:23:18,521
What did I say?
415
00:23:21,635 --> 00:23:23,064
I'm your boss.
416
00:23:24,516 --> 00:23:25,945
It's an order.
417
00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:37,217
Richard...
418
00:24:11,749 --> 00:24:14,171
Samantha finally threw in the towel.
419
00:24:14,373 --> 00:24:16,861
All this time,
she'd been trying to make him...
420
00:24:16,934 --> 00:24:19,651
just a perfect dick, fighting her feelings...
421
00:24:19,718 --> 00:24:22,206
that he might be the perfect Richard.
422
00:24:36,614 --> 00:24:39,200
And back at the Bradshaw-Shaw residence...
423
00:24:39,271 --> 00:24:41,180
it was pretty much business as usual.
424
00:24:41,254 --> 00:24:43,840
What's up? Where you been?
Who did you see?
425
00:24:54,151 --> 00:24:56,998
Buddy, I need you to do something.
426
00:24:59,047 --> 00:25:00,094
What?
427
00:25:01,479 --> 00:25:05,408
I've never lived with anybody before you,
so don't know how to say this correctly...
428
00:25:07,335 --> 00:25:09,724
but I need you to not talk to me...
429
00:25:10,407 --> 00:25:12,066
for one whole hour.
430
00:25:12,616 --> 00:25:15,038
I know that sounds pretty selfish...
431
00:25:15,496 --> 00:25:17,863
but it's just what I need. Is that okay?
432
00:25:19,048 --> 00:25:20,357
Okay, good.
433
00:25:21,769 --> 00:25:24,518
We don't have any other rooms yet...
434
00:25:25,064 --> 00:25:27,104
so, I'm gonna close these...
435
00:25:27,273 --> 00:25:29,640
and then it's like I'm not here.
436
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,026
For one whole hour, I'm not here.
437
00:25:34,729 --> 00:25:35,874
Thanks.
438
00:25:37,257 --> 00:25:38,631
I love you.
439
00:26:08,746 --> 00:26:10,983
So, what are you doing out here?
440
00:26:18,890 --> 00:26:22,687
That's the thing about needs,
sometimes when you get them met...
441
00:26:22,762 --> 00:26:24,802
you don't need them anymore.
442
00:26:25,995 --> 00:26:27,817
As our 30 days wore on...
443
00:26:27,979 --> 00:26:31,361
Aidan and I miraculously managed
to not kill each other.
444
00:26:31,563 --> 00:26:33,351
But, as I predicted...
445
00:26:35,467 --> 00:26:37,474
the plant was not so lucky.
33659
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