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1
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came from four different directions.
2
00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:54,231
The East Side...
3
00:00:54,735 --> 00:00:56,202
the West Side...
4
00:00:56,837 --> 00:00:58,236
Park Avenue...
5
00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:00,505
and Samantha.
6
00:01:02,142 --> 00:01:06,272
It was the ultimate New York power lunch,
also known as the power catch-up.
7
00:01:06,847 --> 00:01:07,973
I'll start.
8
00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:10,049
I can sum up my life in one breath.
9
00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:12,483
Work, work, Au Bon Pain, work.
10
00:01:12,552 --> 00:01:13,519
And you?
11
00:01:14,054 --> 00:01:15,521
Okay, let's see...
12
00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:18,422
Aidan, Aidan, this pimple, Aidan.
13
00:01:18,825 --> 00:01:20,122
Maybe we don't need an hour.
14
00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:22,423
Charlotte, I can't believe
you made this sandwich.
15
00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:25,027
I love you not working, you can be my wife.
16
00:01:25,098 --> 00:01:28,556
I thought I'd have more free time,
but redecorating is very stressful.
17
00:01:28,635 --> 00:01:31,661
Did you know there are
over 40 different kinds of dimmers?
18
00:01:32,372 --> 00:01:35,637
Remember back when the economy
was good and we had a table?
19
00:01:36,543 --> 00:01:38,010
- Carrie?
- Yeah?
20
00:01:38,078 --> 00:01:39,739
Are you a janitor now?
21
00:01:41,014 --> 00:01:42,709
I know, it's ridiculous.
22
00:01:42,849 --> 00:01:45,340
I need these seven
just to get in Aidan's building.
23
00:01:45,419 --> 00:01:46,647
He gave you his keys?
24
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,711
Yeah, but I always make him
come to my place.
25
00:01:48,789 --> 00:01:50,757
He buys that two-in-one shampoo.
26
00:01:50,824 --> 00:01:52,792
Does Aidan have your keys now, too?
27
00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:54,850
He does. All two of them.
28
00:01:55,195 --> 00:01:57,527
You exchanged keys, that's big.
29
00:01:57,597 --> 00:01:59,394
No, that's the opposite of Big.
30
00:01:59,566 --> 00:02:00,794
Good for you.
31
00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:03,665
It took me six months
to give my cleaning lady a key.
32
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:08,634
I happen to have the key
to a lasting relationship right here.
33
00:02:09,509 --> 00:02:11,340
1001 sexual positions.
34
00:02:11,478 --> 00:02:15,175
I got it on the corner from a guy.
$1.50. I love this city.
35
00:02:15,248 --> 00:02:16,272
Whoa, Nellie.
36
00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:19,876
- Whose legs bend back that far?
- It's like sex for the boneless.
37
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:23,445
See, that's what I love about
this guy Nick I'm seeing.
38
00:02:23,523 --> 00:02:24,683
He's deboned?
39
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:26,692
He's the wrestling coach at NYU...
40
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,422
and he's like an extra-strength rubber band.
41
00:02:29,796 --> 00:02:32,629
"My congregants, please refer...
42
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:35,634
"to Position 91 in your prayer books.
43
00:02:35,702 --> 00:02:37,795
"And let us say, 'Amen."'
44
00:02:42,242 --> 00:02:46,975
That night, I came home to find Aidan
in the most shocking position of all.
45
00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:48,344
Cooking to the oldies.
46
00:02:48,415 --> 00:02:52,977
You're deflowering my pristine kitchen.
47
00:02:54,187 --> 00:02:55,586
Fajitas!
48
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,717
Meet my new George Foreman...
49
00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:01,818
lean, mean, fat-reducing grilling machine.
50
00:03:02,195 --> 00:03:03,526
George, Carrie.
51
00:03:03,763 --> 00:03:05,230
Charmed, I'm sure.
52
00:03:09,936 --> 00:03:11,801
What are you doing back there, ladybird?
53
00:03:11,872 --> 00:03:13,840
I'm just looking for something.
54
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:15,668
Not in front of George.
55
00:03:17,143 --> 00:03:19,043
Leave George out of it.
56
00:03:19,412 --> 00:03:20,743
Okay, that's it.
57
00:03:20,881 --> 00:03:22,280
You're going down!
58
00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:28,716
What about the fajitas?
59
00:03:28,955 --> 00:03:30,320
Fuck the fajitas.
60
00:03:32,158 --> 00:03:34,490
If giving a man the keys to your apartment...
61
00:03:34,561 --> 00:03:38,327
means unlocking the door
to home cooking and great sex...
62
00:03:38,398 --> 00:03:40,332
"...why were so many independent women..."
63
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,834
Don't, it's not done yet.
64
00:03:42,903 --> 00:03:44,165
Don't read it.
65
00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:52,105
Oh, my God.
66
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,550
Come on, come back.
67
00:03:59,185 --> 00:04:00,209
What...
68
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:02,846
- Why is this happening?
- What's up?
69
00:04:02,923 --> 00:04:05,949
My computer just crashed
right in the middle... I just...
70
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,887
Okay, just relax, darling.
Breathe and reboot.
71
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,571
It always works on my computer.
72
00:04:18,905 --> 00:04:19,929
Well?
73
00:04:20,006 --> 00:04:23,498
- Let's get your manual out.
- I don't have a manual!
74
00:04:23,577 --> 00:04:26,478
I got rid of it in a feng shui attack.
75
00:04:26,546 --> 00:04:28,514
Oh, my God, I want to kill myself.
76
00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:32,245
Just hang in there, sugar.
This thing's faking you out, that's all.
77
00:04:32,719 --> 00:04:34,118
Aidan, please.
78
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,745
Please just stop touching it. Stop it!
79
00:04:36,823 --> 00:04:39,348
You don't know
what you're doing, just stop!
80
00:04:42,629 --> 00:04:43,926
Two meltdowns later...
81
00:04:43,997 --> 00:04:47,433
we rushed my '98 laptop,
in my '99 pashmina, to Tekserve.
82
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,264
Can you please not do that?
83
00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:55,698
- 64!
- Oh, God, come on!
84
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,434
- Number 64.
- Yes.
85
00:04:58,845 --> 00:05:00,540
Hi, thank God.
86
00:05:00,614 --> 00:05:03,583
- Please tell me...
- I tried a few home remedies.
87
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,315
...that you can fix it.
88
00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:06,511
Whoa!
89
00:05:07,153 --> 00:05:09,246
One at a time. Which one of you crashed?
90
00:05:09,322 --> 00:05:13,122
Me, I did, it's mine.
But then he did something to it.
91
00:05:13,193 --> 00:05:15,024
Tell him what you did to it.
92
00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:17,195
I hit the Control-Alt-Delete.
93
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,957
That only works on PCs.
94
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:20,294
You a PC user?
95
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,531
You're not compatible.
96
00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:27,004
Tell me exactly what happened
right before you crashed.
97
00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:32,438
I was typing and then he came over
and he kissed me...
98
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,143
and then I got the bomb.
99
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:36,913
Not "da bomb," you know?
100
00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:38,507
Not the good kind.
101
00:05:38,718 --> 00:05:41,278
Is this funny,
do you think that this is funny?
102
00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:42,753
Just trying to...
103
00:05:42,822 --> 00:05:45,120
You are mortifying me.
104
00:05:46,259 --> 00:05:48,955
When was the last time
you backed up your work?
105
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:52,228
I don't do that.
106
00:05:52,298 --> 00:05:53,890
You don't back up?
107
00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:55,790
No.
108
00:05:55,869 --> 00:05:57,803
Anything else before we go in?
109
00:05:58,204 --> 00:05:59,193
Yes!
110
00:05:59,305 --> 00:06:01,500
There was a mean little man
who popped up...
111
00:06:01,574 --> 00:06:03,701
and he had "X's" where his eyes should be.
112
00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:05,267
And his tongue...
113
00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:07,603
was hanging out the side of his mouth.
114
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:09,945
- He didn't have a tongue.
- He had a tongue.
115
00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:11,244
That's the Sad Mac.
116
00:06:11,317 --> 00:06:13,751
You Sad Mac'd,
you should've told me that before.
117
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:16,311
Oh, my God, why? What does that mean?
118
00:06:16,389 --> 00:06:19,051
Could be your motherboard,
the guts of your computer.
119
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,319
It could be bad RAM.
120
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:23,157
We'll keep it here for a couple of days,
run some tests.
121
00:06:23,229 --> 00:06:24,662
I'm Dmitri.
122
00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:27,256
I'll call you if we find anything.
123
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:30,734
- If?
- Number 78!
124
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,772
Oh, God, Miranda, I'm freaking out.
125
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,138
What if everything I've ever written is gone?
126
00:06:36,209 --> 00:06:38,143
When was the last time you backed up?
127
00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:41,237
You know, no one talks about backing up.
128
00:06:41,314 --> 00:06:43,782
You've never used that expression
with me before.
129
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:47,411
But apparently, everybody's secretly
running home at night...
130
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:48,681
and backing up their work.
131
00:06:48,855 --> 00:06:51,483
Dr. Adleman, please call Extension 213.
132
00:06:51,725 --> 00:06:52,783
Where are you?
133
00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:55,384
I'm at the hospital in Philadelphia.
134
00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:57,386
My mom had a heart attack.
135
00:06:57,464 --> 00:06:58,829
Oh, my God.
136
00:06:59,265 --> 00:07:01,563
And you let me go on
about my stupid computer?
137
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:04,067
That's very upsetting,
I've been through that.
138
00:07:04,137 --> 00:07:05,126
Is she okay?
139
00:07:05,205 --> 00:07:07,639
How could you go to Philadelphia
without telling me?
140
00:07:07,774 --> 00:07:11,733
I had six minutes to get the train.
I didn't know how bad it was till I got here.
141
00:07:11,811 --> 00:07:13,244
How bad is it?
142
00:07:13,313 --> 00:07:15,508
They keep telling us different things.
143
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:17,277
She's pretty out of it.
144
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:21,047
Although, she did open her eyes
just long enough to veto my lipstick.
145
00:07:21,121 --> 00:07:23,851
Can I do anything to help?
I'll jump on a train.
146
00:07:23,923 --> 00:07:25,788
I'll come there and keep you company.
147
00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,392
No, it's fine, I'm fine.
148
00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:30,725
Miranda, the doctor is waiting.
149
00:07:30,997 --> 00:07:33,488
You can't use a cell phone in the hospital.
150
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,392
She called me.
151
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:39,905
Great. Now my sister's
mad at me. I gotta go.
152
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:41,698
Keep me posted, all right?
153
00:07:41,775 --> 00:07:42,867
Okay, bye.
154
00:07:44,177 --> 00:07:48,477
Meanwhile, Charlotte's afternoon
was filled with ovulating and decorating.
155
00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:52,511
She was 12 days into her cycle...
156
00:07:52,585 --> 00:07:55,383
and three rooms into her lighting project.
157
00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:04,126
She had become a bona fide dimmer expert.
158
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:10,732
Samantha called in
a bona fide positions expert...
159
00:08:10,804 --> 00:08:12,772
who came fully equipped.
160
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,921
Turns out a half nelson
was very much like Position 411.
161
00:08:37,597 --> 00:08:40,896
One half nelson, one full orgasm.
162
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,364
Hello?
163
00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:50,705
It's me, I'm sorry to wake you.
164
00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:52,205
That's okay.
165
00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:55,239
My mom died.
166
00:08:55,481 --> 00:08:56,675
Oh, my God.
167
00:08:58,618 --> 00:09:00,552
She was stable last night.
168
00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:02,348
And we all went home.
169
00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:05,891
And then they called
and said she was crashing.
170
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:08,783
And by the time we got back, she had died.
171
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:11,422
Miranda, I'm so sorry.
172
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,164
I just wish we hadn't gone home, you know?
173
00:09:18,137 --> 00:09:21,470
Nobody wanted to, but they kept telling us
we ought to get some sleep.
174
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:23,634
I'm sure that she knew, on some level...
175
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:25,439
that you were with her.
176
00:09:25,578 --> 00:09:26,943
But I wasn't with her.
177
00:09:27,146 --> 00:09:28,511
Nobody was!
178
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,376
What can I do?
179
00:09:31,818 --> 00:09:33,979
Nothing, I'm fine.
180
00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:36,521
I'll be fine.
181
00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:42,153
The funeral's on Tuesday
and I don't have anything to wear.
182
00:09:42,228 --> 00:09:45,527
I didn't think I would be going to a funeral
while I was here.
183
00:09:45,598 --> 00:09:47,088
I'll be there, so I can...
184
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:49,930
I'll bring you something
from your apartment.
185
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:51,664
Don't bother.
186
00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:55,605
I'm just gonna go out
and buy a shitty black dress...
187
00:09:55,675 --> 00:09:57,108
I'll never wear again.
188
00:09:57,176 --> 00:09:59,076
Are you sure? I'd be happy to do it.
189
00:09:59,145 --> 00:10:00,339
Don't...
190
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:02,513
Don't do anything.
191
00:10:04,984 --> 00:10:06,383
I better go.
192
00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:08,711
I'm so sorry.
193
00:10:08,788 --> 00:10:10,779
Thanks, I gotta go.
194
00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:18,660
Miranda's mother died.
195
00:10:27,874 --> 00:10:29,307
Come here, you okay?
196
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,309
I'm fine, actually.
197
00:10:32,712 --> 00:10:35,579
Do you know when the funeral is?
I'd like to go if I can.
198
00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:41,086
I don't know.
199
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,614
You don't have to.
200
00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:48,622
I don't really know.
201
00:10:55,568 --> 00:10:58,901
Where have you been,
and where's Miranda? I'm starving.
202
00:11:00,373 --> 00:11:01,772
What's wrong?
203
00:11:04,711 --> 00:11:06,406
Miranda's in Philadelphia.
204
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:09,070
Her mother had a heart attack yesterday...
205
00:11:09,148 --> 00:11:11,582
and she died, early this morning.
206
00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:15,114
She wasn't even sick.
207
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:18,685
I can't believe it.
208
00:11:18,992 --> 00:11:20,687
Poor Miranda, how is she?
209
00:11:23,663 --> 00:11:25,062
I don't know.
210
00:11:26,632 --> 00:11:28,031
She's not good.
211
00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:32,967
I just felt so awful for her and I just...
212
00:11:34,307 --> 00:11:36,070
I didn't know...
213
00:11:36,142 --> 00:11:37,769
what to say to her and...
214
00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:42,510
You know Miranda,
she was trying to be so strong...
215
00:11:42,849 --> 00:11:44,646
but she sounded so alone.
216
00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:47,377
And I just kept saying
all the wrong things, I think.
217
00:11:47,453 --> 00:11:50,013
I'm sure you didn't.
218
00:11:50,957 --> 00:11:53,482
- Here.
- Thanks, I'm sorry.
219
00:11:54,227 --> 00:11:57,060
I guess the first thing we should do
is send some flowers.
220
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:59,598
- Right.
- Or a fruit basket.
221
00:11:59,899 --> 00:12:02,094
Or muffins, what do you think?
222
00:12:04,937 --> 00:12:06,336
You all right?
223
00:12:06,739 --> 00:12:07,831
What?
224
00:12:08,741 --> 00:12:09,935
I'm fine.
225
00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:13,137
Flowers are fine,
just tell me who to send the check to.
226
00:12:15,782 --> 00:12:17,374
I'm just hungry.
227
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:21,549
After breakfast,
Charlotte showed her support for Miranda...
228
00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:23,782
by becoming the Martha Stewart of death.
229
00:12:23,856 --> 00:12:26,723
I want the clear cellophane
and the navy ribbon.
230
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,855
Samantha, have you called Miranda yet?
231
00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:33,387
She thinks it'd be faster for us
to take the train to Philadelphia...
232
00:12:33,466 --> 00:12:34,455
and I agree.
233
00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:36,965
We're going to the funeral?
234
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:39,469
I thought we were just sending flowers.
235
00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:41,598
Of course we're going to the funeral...
236
00:12:41,674 --> 00:12:43,107
and you should call her.
237
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:45,144
I think she'd really like to hear from you.
238
00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:47,436
What am I gonna say to her?
239
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:50,413
You could say, "I'm so sorry for your loss.
240
00:12:50,616 --> 00:12:52,481
"I love you, I'm here for you."
241
00:12:52,552 --> 00:12:54,076
That's enough ribbon.
242
00:12:54,353 --> 00:12:55,752
"You're in my thoughts.
243
00:12:55,822 --> 00:12:57,983
"May she rest in peace,
I'm so sorry you lost..."
244
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:00,082
Fine, I'll call her, good-bye.
245
00:13:02,061 --> 00:13:05,588
In times of sorrow,
some people have trouble reaching out.
246
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:10,058
Samantha wasn't one of those people.
247
00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:15,229
Wanna wrestle?
248
00:13:18,845 --> 00:13:21,507
Keep doing that!
249
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:24,880
But today...
250
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:28,051
something was just out of reach.
251
00:13:29,722 --> 00:13:32,657
So they tried another position. 299.
252
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,793
I'm almost there.
253
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,899
Just hang on one more second.
254
00:13:42,201 --> 00:13:43,759
Hang on, hang in there.
255
00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:45,895
Keep hanging on, stay with me.
256
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:48,133
Stay just like that.
257
00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:54,046
Get 'em off me!
258
00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:55,978
You're distracting me.
259
00:13:57,817 --> 00:13:59,546
And when none of those worked...
260
00:13:59,619 --> 00:14:03,055
they went back to Old Faithful. Number 17.
261
00:14:03,122 --> 00:14:05,750
Okay, now that's it.
262
00:14:05,825 --> 00:14:08,589
Now we got it. Here we go.
263
00:14:08,661 --> 00:14:10,026
Home free.
264
00:14:10,096 --> 00:14:12,462
Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
265
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:18,669
Exactly what you're doing.
266
00:14:19,138 --> 00:14:21,106
Don't stop.
267
00:14:26,612 --> 00:14:29,172
I gotta pick up my stuff
at the cleaners by 5:00.
268
00:14:29,248 --> 00:14:30,613
Okay, stop.
269
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:35,081
I want you to make it very clear
to the Philadelphia florist...
270
00:14:35,154 --> 00:14:37,588
Tasteful, all white.
271
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:41,519
The Casablanca lilies, the calla lilies
and the Phalaenopsis.
272
00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:43,490
I don't want any crap.
273
00:14:43,763 --> 00:14:44,889
You told her.
274
00:14:44,964 --> 00:14:47,660
These flowers will be the centerpiece
on the church altar.
275
00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:50,566
It's important that they represent us,
don't you agree?
276
00:14:52,004 --> 00:14:54,598
I don't know, I'm not even listening.
277
00:14:55,341 --> 00:14:57,138
I lost my orgasm.
278
00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:58,942
In the cab?
279
00:14:59,579 --> 00:15:00,944
What do you mean, "lost"?
280
00:15:01,013 --> 00:15:04,449
I mean, I just spent the last two hours
fucking with no finale.
281
00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:07,213
It happens.
Sometimes you just can't get there.
282
00:15:07,286 --> 00:15:08,913
I can always get there.
283
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:10,750
Every time you have sex?
284
00:15:10,823 --> 00:15:12,882
She's exaggerating.
285
00:15:15,094 --> 00:15:17,062
Please say you're exaggerating.
286
00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:19,723
I'll admit I have had to polish myself off...
287
00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:21,528
once or twice, but yes.
288
00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,968
When I R.S.V.P. To a party,
I make it my business to come.
289
00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:28,305
See, I've been a no-show
on more than one occasion.
290
00:15:28,507 --> 00:15:30,941
Sex can still be great without an orgasm.
291
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,568
That is such a crock of shit.
292
00:15:32,645 --> 00:15:33,942
She has a point.
293
00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:35,944
What's wrong with me?
294
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,175
Listen!
295
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:42,049
You've got plenty of orgasms
under your belt.
296
00:15:42,121 --> 00:15:43,918
You're gonna be fine.
297
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:46,585
Now, let's retrace your steps.
298
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:48,286
Were you on top?
299
00:15:48,694 --> 00:15:50,059
How is that relevant?
300
00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:51,858
You can have them on the bottom?
301
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:55,264
- Top, bottom, upside-down.
- All right, now you're just showing off.
302
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,734
- I'm asking for help!
- Sweetie...
303
00:15:58,137 --> 00:16:01,868
I'm sure it will pop up
when you least expect it.
304
00:16:01,941 --> 00:16:03,169
Like...
305
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:05,805
jury duty.
306
00:16:05,878 --> 00:16:07,743
- Unless...
- What?
307
00:16:09,248 --> 00:16:11,341
I read this article about a woman...
308
00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:13,783
who's having orgasms around the clock.
309
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:15,882
And then, boom!
310
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:19,422
Orgasms stopped for good.
311
00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:22,817
It was like she had used them all up
or something.
312
00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:27,494
That's the meanest thing
you've ever said to me.
313
00:16:30,202 --> 00:16:33,228
Meanwhile in Philadelphia,
Miranda realized...
314
00:16:33,372 --> 00:16:36,773
she needed a shitty black bra
to go with her shitty black dress.
315
00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:38,503
Can I help you find something?
316
00:16:38,577 --> 00:16:41,603
No, I'm looking for this in 36A in black.
317
00:16:41,914 --> 00:16:44,246
You don't look like a 36A to me.
318
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:45,642
I am.
319
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:50,781
Excuse me? Lucille?
320
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:54,689
I've been a 36A my whole life.
I think I know what size I am.
321
00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:56,819
Didn't think so.
322
00:16:59,699 --> 00:17:02,793
- Try these.
- There is no way that I'm a 34B.
323
00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:04,026
Just try them.
324
00:17:06,806 --> 00:17:08,330
How's it going in there?
325
00:17:08,407 --> 00:17:10,398
Everything's fine.
326
00:17:10,476 --> 00:17:14,071
From the age of 14,
Miranda had a strict "no visitors" policy...
327
00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:15,374
in the dressing room.
328
00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:17,382
Let's see how that's working out.
329
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,817
Although her mother never observed it,
and neither did Lucille.
330
00:17:20,886 --> 00:17:23,116
I just said that I didn't need any help.
331
00:17:23,189 --> 00:17:26,647
You say you don't want help,
but you were picking out the wrong size.
332
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:28,489
See, this one fits you.
333
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:31,860
I think that I can adjust
my bra straps by myself.
334
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,491
Would you please get your hands
off of my breasts?
335
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:36,330
I'm not being fresh.
336
00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:37,892
I think I know what's best.
337
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,232
You don't!
338
00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:42,234
I think that I know what's best for me!
339
00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:45,006
Suddenly Miranda realized...
340
00:17:45,444 --> 00:17:48,379
she would never have a fight
with her mother again.
341
00:17:48,714 --> 00:17:50,909
I'm sorry, it's not you.
342
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,850
My mother just died, and...
343
00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:58,682
- Come here.
- No, I'm fine, I...
344
00:17:58,758 --> 00:17:59,782
I'm...
345
00:18:01,227 --> 00:18:04,128
And there, behind the curtain,
when no one was looking...
346
00:18:04,196 --> 00:18:07,632
Miranda found a kind of support
that actually fit her.
347
00:18:18,944 --> 00:18:20,571
This is perfect.
348
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:24,282
You were right.
349
00:18:27,153 --> 00:18:28,347
Thanks.
350
00:18:31,056 --> 00:18:33,251
Wait!
351
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,853
Damn, you're always sneaking up on me.
352
00:18:36,929 --> 00:18:38,226
Surprise!
353
00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:40,591
It's your new computer.
354
00:18:44,203 --> 00:18:46,103
- It's blue.
- Yeah.
355
00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:48,465
It's a lot more fun than your old one.
356
00:18:48,707 --> 00:18:51,175
It's got this handle, so it's like a little purse.
357
00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:53,768
That's a very expensive purse.
358
00:18:55,748 --> 00:18:58,581
- When did you get that?
- Today.
359
00:18:58,651 --> 00:19:00,710
And I got you one of these Zip drives...
360
00:19:00,786 --> 00:19:03,687
so you can start backing up your work now.
361
00:19:03,756 --> 00:19:05,451
I don't even know how to use that...
362
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:08,357
and I don't need it, I have my own system.
363
00:19:08,427 --> 00:19:10,657
- Works just fine.
- Right.
364
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:12,420
You sure about that?
365
00:19:12,598 --> 00:19:13,963
I am.
366
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:16,524
I'm not ready for a new computer.
367
00:19:16,602 --> 00:19:19,162
I'm still waiting to hear back
about my old one.
368
00:19:19,238 --> 00:19:21,832
My whole life was on that computer.
369
00:19:23,142 --> 00:19:24,336
I get it.
370
00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:27,176
It's all you.
371
00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:30,146
I'm not a part of any of this.
You don't want the laptop.
372
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:32,616
You don't want me to go
to the funeral. I feel like...
373
00:19:32,685 --> 00:19:35,153
I gave you my keys,
what more do you want?
374
00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:36,449
Your keys?
375
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:40,489
Great, now I can get into your front door.
376
00:19:41,427 --> 00:19:43,122
How do I get into there?
377
00:19:47,466 --> 00:19:49,957
I'm sorry, but I've been
taking care of myself...
378
00:19:50,035 --> 00:19:51,798
for a really long time.
379
00:19:51,871 --> 00:19:55,773
You may not like it,
but this is how I deal with things.
380
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:57,771
This is your receipt.
381
00:19:58,477 --> 00:20:02,277
So you can do whatever you want
with that computer, all right?
382
00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:13,647
Meanwhile, Samantha
was troubleshooting her own laptop.
383
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:22,824
She was determined to just relax...
384
00:20:23,903 --> 00:20:25,165
unwind...
385
00:20:31,677 --> 00:20:34,168
and let the rest of the world fall away.
386
00:20:38,918 --> 00:20:41,409
- What?
- Good, you're there.
387
00:20:41,487 --> 00:20:44,217
I'm picking up bagels for the train ride.
Sesame, right?
388
00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:46,187
And have you called Miranda yet?
389
00:20:46,258 --> 00:20:47,748
I'm whole wheat...
390
00:20:48,394 --> 00:20:51,659
and I haven't called her
because I don't want to bother her.
391
00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:54,893
I'm masturbating.
392
00:20:55,401 --> 00:20:58,234
I told you I'd be doing that all day today.
393
00:21:07,379 --> 00:21:10,712
By nightfall,
Samantha called off the search party.
394
00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:23,522
Somewhere in the city of lost dreams
and missing persons...
395
00:21:23,596 --> 00:21:26,121
Samantha's orgasm remained at large.
396
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:30,933
The next morning,
my own search party called...
397
00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:32,630
with news of a breakthrough.
398
00:21:32,705 --> 00:21:33,763
Hi.
399
00:21:34,106 --> 00:21:36,973
You remember me?
400
00:21:37,042 --> 00:21:41,001
I'm Number P438W, you have my computer.
401
00:21:42,181 --> 00:21:43,239
Yep.
402
00:21:45,818 --> 00:21:46,910
Okay.
403
00:21:51,323 --> 00:21:53,985
And here's what we could recover
from your hard drive.
404
00:21:54,159 --> 00:21:55,922
Any of that look familiar to you?
405
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:57,926
There it was, my past.
406
00:21:58,130 --> 00:21:59,529
It was a mess.
407
00:22:01,266 --> 00:22:05,134
Can you please tell me
why this happened in the first place?
408
00:22:05,204 --> 00:22:06,432
We don't know.
409
00:22:06,505 --> 00:22:08,973
Sometimes these things, they just crash.
410
00:22:09,241 --> 00:22:11,334
We can replace your motherboard...
411
00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:14,573
but you have to get yourself
a backup system.
412
00:22:15,214 --> 00:22:17,148
Pick out a Zip drive, start saving.
413
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:19,411
Next time, you won't lose everything.
414
00:22:21,153 --> 00:22:22,245
Ouch.
415
00:22:22,755 --> 00:22:24,746
You saved your warranty, right?
416
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,037
Hello, furniture company.
417
00:22:43,242 --> 00:22:45,904
It's me, the girl who doesn't back up.
418
00:22:48,313 --> 00:22:51,146
This is my attempt to breathe and reboot.
419
00:22:52,284 --> 00:22:53,911
Are you smiling at all over there?
420
00:22:53,986 --> 00:22:55,715
- I'm listening.
- Okay...
421
00:22:58,223 --> 00:23:00,623
I'm just on my way to Philly...
422
00:23:01,293 --> 00:23:03,659
and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.
423
00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:06,561
This is hard.
424
00:23:06,932 --> 00:23:09,423
We're gonna run into stuff that's hard.
425
00:23:10,269 --> 00:23:11,998
That's why I was trying to help.
426
00:23:12,071 --> 00:23:13,299
I know that...
427
00:23:15,607 --> 00:23:17,268
but if you start helping me...
428
00:23:17,342 --> 00:23:20,072
and then I get used to having that help...
429
00:23:20,145 --> 00:23:21,237
Yeah?
430
00:23:22,581 --> 00:23:24,310
No good can come of that.
431
00:23:24,616 --> 00:23:27,642
I mean, then what happens when,
you know...
432
00:23:27,986 --> 00:23:29,544
you're not around one day?
433
00:23:29,822 --> 00:23:32,052
- Where am I going?
- I don't know.
434
00:23:32,124 --> 00:23:36,151
You could be out of town or be busy or...
435
00:23:37,096 --> 00:23:38,757
Things fall apart.
436
00:23:39,398 --> 00:23:40,558
We could fall apart.
437
00:23:40,632 --> 00:23:41,724
I know that.
438
00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:43,632
Then what?
439
00:23:44,436 --> 00:23:47,234
Then I guess we'd be a couple of Sad Macs.
440
00:23:54,413 --> 00:23:55,539
Philadelphia.
441
00:23:55,614 --> 00:23:59,380
Just a hop, a skip, a cab, a metroliner
and another cab away.
442
00:24:09,261 --> 00:24:11,752
I'm not gonna find my orgasm in this town.
443
00:24:11,897 --> 00:24:13,626
We are at a funeral.
444
00:24:31,183 --> 00:24:32,582
Be right back.
445
00:24:40,759 --> 00:24:41,953
I'm so sorry.
446
00:24:46,131 --> 00:24:47,598
I'm so sorry.
447
00:24:52,404 --> 00:24:53,928
You look great.
448
00:24:56,008 --> 00:24:57,305
She does.
449
00:24:59,211 --> 00:25:01,236
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
450
00:25:01,513 --> 00:25:03,879
But everybody else
is very concerned about me...
451
00:25:03,949 --> 00:25:05,507
because I'm here alone.
452
00:25:05,584 --> 00:25:08,610
I didn't realize I needed a date
for my mother's funeral.
453
00:25:09,888 --> 00:25:11,549
My sister and her husband...
454
00:25:11,623 --> 00:25:14,353
want me to third-wheel with them
down the aisle...
455
00:25:14,426 --> 00:25:16,656
God forbid that I should walk it alone...
456
00:25:16,728 --> 00:25:19,026
because that would be
the real tragedy, right?
457
00:25:19,097 --> 00:25:20,257
Ignore the coffin.
458
00:25:20,332 --> 00:25:23,392
There's a single 35-year-old woman
walking behind it.
459
00:25:23,702 --> 00:25:25,636
- Miranda?
- Coming, Betsy.
460
00:25:31,109 --> 00:25:32,576
This is hard.
461
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,147
"You look great"?
462
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:39,013
That was not one of the things
I told you to say.
463
00:25:41,687 --> 00:25:43,018
Excuse me, Betsy?
464
00:25:43,088 --> 00:25:45,579
Hi, I'm Charlotte, we spoke on the phone.
465
00:25:46,158 --> 00:25:48,626
I just wanted to say again how sorry I am.
466
00:25:48,694 --> 00:25:51,663
And to make sure
that everything worked out with the flowers.
467
00:25:51,730 --> 00:25:53,254
Yes, thank you.
468
00:25:54,299 --> 00:25:56,563
In fact, there they are now.
469
00:26:04,877 --> 00:26:06,504
I said tasteful!
470
00:26:08,413 --> 00:26:11,644
I think now we know
what $500 worth of glitter looks like.
471
00:26:12,851 --> 00:26:15,877
Death is the eternal mystery.
472
00:26:16,655 --> 00:26:19,089
It defies our comprehension.
473
00:26:19,591 --> 00:26:22,924
There are no explanations, no answers.
474
00:26:23,362 --> 00:26:26,490
No magic words to soothe us.
475
00:26:26,798 --> 00:26:29,665
You're a spiritual leader,
can't you make something up?
476
00:26:29,735 --> 00:26:31,862
Those flowers were supposed to say:
477
00:26:31,937 --> 00:26:35,737
"We're so sorry, we love you."
Not "you're dead, let's disco."
478
00:26:35,807 --> 00:26:38,002
...so many wonderful stories about her...
479
00:26:38,076 --> 00:26:41,603
from her daughter Betsy
and her husband, David...
480
00:26:41,980 --> 00:26:44,949
her son John and his wife, Miranda...
481
00:26:45,550 --> 00:26:46,983
her daughter Catherine...
482
00:26:47,052 --> 00:26:48,610
Did he just say...
483
00:26:49,121 --> 00:26:53,285
No spiritual stuff
and he can't keep the family tree straight?
484
00:26:53,992 --> 00:26:55,584
This guy's a hack.
485
00:26:55,727 --> 00:27:00,494
Sara, Alexandra, Nathan, and little Emily.
486
00:27:01,934 --> 00:27:03,595
After the burial...
487
00:27:04,002 --> 00:27:08,496
John and his wife, Miranda,
invite you back to their home.
488
00:27:08,941 --> 00:27:13,139
Directions can be found
as you exit the sanctuary.
489
00:27:16,682 --> 00:27:17,774
I'm sorry.
490
00:27:19,051 --> 00:27:20,040
Thank you.
491
00:27:25,624 --> 00:27:28,752
Finally, Samantha found the release
she really needed.
492
00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:31,090
She cried for everything she couldn't say...
493
00:27:31,163 --> 00:27:33,256
and for things she didn't even know she felt.
494
00:28:00,726 --> 00:28:01,750
It's okay.
495
00:28:01,827 --> 00:28:04,022
There's the kind of support you ask for...
496
00:28:04,096 --> 00:28:06,724
and a kind of support you don't ask for.
497
00:28:09,067 --> 00:28:12,002
And then there's the kind
that just shows up.
498
00:28:16,274 --> 00:28:17,263
Thank you.
499
00:28:32,491 --> 00:28:36,086
After all, computers crash, people die...
500
00:28:36,161 --> 00:28:37,890
relationships fall apart.
501
00:28:38,797 --> 00:28:41,630
The best we can do is breathe and reboot.
502
00:28:45,303 --> 00:28:46,702
And when that fails...
503
00:28:46,772 --> 00:28:48,899
a little gizmo called a Zip drive...
504
00:28:48,974 --> 00:28:51,499
can provide a surprising amount of comfort.
505
00:28:59,985 --> 00:29:01,714
So can a boyfriend.
506
00:29:03,221 --> 00:29:05,314
If you can learn to let him.
36428
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