All language subtitles for Lucifer.S03E13.BDRip.x264-DEMAND.eng

- Previously on Lucifer...
- CHLOE: Hey, Lieutenant,

are you going somewhere?

I put in for a transfer.

Maybe you don't have to go.

As a thank you
for watching Trixie,

maybe we can go grab
that coffee sometime.

Dinner would be
more romantic.

(Charlotte chuckles)

Did you know that Linda
and Amenadiel are a thing?

So our old flames
are having a fling.

I don't care,
why should you?

Unless you're still
hot for angel.

No!

LUCIFER:
You know, for an immortal,

you really do bleed a lot,
don't you?

I'm still human.
I still feel

all the pain
that comes with death.

It's just the wounds heal.

Do your thing. Ask me.

Cain.

What is it that
you desire?

To die.

I will find a way to end
your infinite misery

if it's the last thing I do.

(elevator bell dings)

Lucifer?

Lucifer!

Hello, Lucifer?

(chain saw whirring)

If it were that easy to kill me,

I would have been dead
a long time ago.

Very well.

Right, have you tried...

- grenade down the throat?
- Yes.

- Acid bath?
- Mm-hmm.

(sighs) Devoured by wolves?

Yes.

Dropped into helicopter blades?

Mm-hmm.

I've been trying
to kill myself

since the Bronze Age.

I have tried

everything.

Even jumped into a volcano once.

What, you survived molten lava?

Yeah, it was a rough six months.
Just, whatever I do, I just...

regrow.

Huh, like a blue-eyed,
square-jawed tapeworm.

So if I cut you exactly in half,
would there be two Pierces?

No. Only one side would heal.

You see, I call it the,
the "master molecule" theory.

Yes, yes, Wolverine rules.
I get it.

But...

there must be some
method that works.

Lucifer, why do you care
so much about this?

Because my Father laid a curse
on you to live forever,

so killing you would be an epic
loogie in the old man's eye.

Well, you are the Devil.

You must have something
shockingly evil

up your sleeve.

Mm, you mean, uh...

- something like this?
- Aah!

Ouch!

Thanks.

You're most welcome.

'Cause that little bad boy was
forged in the bowels of Hell.

(groaning)

Oh, yes, demon steel.

Can kill even me, so...

time to say good-bye
to Hollywood, Pierce.

Good-bye, Lucifer.

No, I-I don't understand.
How does this not work?

I should have known

that you wouldn't be able
to figure this out.

Well, I mean,
the good news is

we've got all the time
in the world to do so.

For me, that's a bad thing.

(groans)

♪♪ We gonna make it
to the morning ♪♪

♪♪ We gonna make it to morning ♪♪

(siren chirps) -
♪♪ We gonna make it to the morning ♪♪

♪♪ We gonna make it to morning. ♪♪

Hey, Dan.

- Hey.
- Thank you.

I feel like I'm having déjà vu.
This street seems so familiar.

Yeah, well, it should.

We took a look at that house
right there on the corner.

Remember? Right after
Trixie was born.

Oh, yeah. Great public schools,
really safe neighborhood.

Oh... or not.

June Lee, 34.

Local chemistry teacher.
She lived right down the block.

Forestry service left the
wood chipper here overnight,

and someone took advantage.

(sighs)

Did you get a chance to talk
to any of the lookie-loos yet?

Nope.

All yours.

Okay.

Hello.

I'm Detective Decker.

Who would do this to poor June?

Well, I'm hoping that you all
could help me with that.

Um... did any of you hear

or see anything out of
the ordinary this morning?

No. I mean, I heard that
wood chipper going, but...

I didn't know.

And did any of
you know anyone

that would want to hurt June?

No.

Everyone really loved her.

She was very active
in the community.

We just got mani-pedis together.

Mm, sorry.

Ah, thank you
for your help, Maze.

No worries.

This actually gives me
time to brainstorm

a little problem of my own.

Ah.

So, this is for
anything with wings.

- Ooh.
- I grab them like this.

And then I stab 'em
with my blade.

Right.

This beauty... (laughs)

This is for anything with horns.

Oh, goody.

- So I hook 'em like this.
- Yeah.

And then, bam!

Blade straight to the heart.

Right, I'm just
gonna stop you there.

Do these grisly struggles

always end with you stabbing
a victim with your blade?

My blades were forged in Hell.

How else am I supposed to kill
a celestial being?

Damn. I already stabbed him
with one of your blades.

Well, I wish you
would've told me that

before I hauled all this
out of the basement.

Nothing on Earth.

Nothing from Hell.

I mean, there must be some
way to snuff this candle.

Well...

Decker makes you
killable, right?

- Hmm.
- Why don't you

see what's going on there?

Rub some of that on Pierce.

Apples to oranges, Maze.

What's going on there

is just a cruel joke from Dad.

(laughing): And what's
going on with Pierce isn't?

Your Father

is all about mind games
and loopholes, remember?

Yes, perhaps you're right, Maze.

Maybe I should find out
what makes Pierce vulnerable.

Get inside his head.

Not with the cranial saw.

Well, not yet

anyway.

(chuckles)

♪♪♪♪

Why is my couch in
the middle of my office?

Oh, good. You're here.

Please, take a seat.

How are you feeling today?

What are you doing?

Oh, answering a question
with another question.

That's called "evasion."

All right,

and your body language
suggests you're quite upset.

No, I'm just not a fan
of your redecorating.

That's awfully
passive-aggressive

of you, Pierce. Why don't you
tell me how you really feel?

Get out of my office.

Good, good. Anger.

That's called a breakthrough,
yeah.

Oh. Don't worry.

This is a safe place.

Why are you doing this?

Well, how am I supposed

to solve the mystery
of how to kill you

if I don't understand you first?

Your strengths,
your weaknesses.

Because everyone has
a Kryptonite, Lieutenant.

So in other words, you still
have no idea how to kill me?

But... this is the idea.

I'm not a crier.

I'm not a sharer.

So unless you have something
that's case-related,

we're done talking.

And turn my desk around.

Decker.

Please tell me
you're working

on something interesting.

Pierce.

Lieutenant, you're still here.

D-Does that mean

you've decided to stay, or...?

Yeah.

At least for now.

Oh, that's great.

That's really, really great.

Two really's? Really?

Yeah, just 'cause...

I have a twist in my case,
and I could use your help.

So the suburban
wood chipper victim,

we recovered a finger,
ran a print.

Turns out June Lee
isn't June Lee.

It's a false identity?

Our vic's real name
is Sandra Jang,

and according to public record,
she died three years ago.

Fascinating. You know,

the lieutenant has a lot
of experience in fake deaths.

You must mean because
I came up through

Missing Persons in Chicago.

Hmm.

Oh, great. We could
really use

your experience on this, then.

Yes, I, too, would love
to learn everything

about your experience.

Sure.

Decker, why don't
you pull

the original death certificate.
There might be something there.

You got it.

I know what you're trying to do.

If you mean solve
a mystery, then yes.

And with you and I working
on this case together,

it'll kill two mysteries
with one stone, hmm?

Emphasis on the
kill, of course.

Oh...

♪♪♪♪

So if we can figure out why

Sandra faked her death
three years ago,

it might point to her killer.

In my experience, people
who fake their own death

are running from
something or someone.

Right, something or someone
that scares them,

makes them feel vulnerable.

Any experience of that in
your own life, Lieutenant?

Sandra definitely
could've been running.

- Check her rap sheet.
- Possession of narcotics

and distribution.

Mm-hmm.

For a gang called
the Korean Power.

Oh, not your
typical gangbanger.

DAN: Uh, that's 'cause
she's not a gangbanger.

She's some kind
of a chemist.

Tech unlocked Sandra's laptop,

found, uh, recipes for
synthetic chemical compounds

all filed under
the label "KPOP."

It's a kind of music,

- right?
- Oh, dear.

Poor Daniel,
so behind the times.

K-Pop is a kind of Ecstasy.

It's one of the
best kinds, actually.

(exhales)

Wait, so Sandra wasn't

dealing for the gang,
she was cooking for them.

I wonder if K-Pop
is still on the market?

Oh, well, it was
as of last Tuesday.

(laughs)
It's wonderful stuff.

Yeah, it makes your skin feel
like a baby chinchilla.

And as a nightclub owner,

you might know where
to find some?

Oh, absolutely. Yes, and I'd
be happy to guide you

on your roll, Detective.

Though I would wait
till you have

a day off to recover.

I'm not...

You want to squeeze a dealer.

Right, and work our way up
the chain to the Korean Power,

maybe find Sandra's killer.

There are dozens of homicides
tied to the gang.

Okay, one Ecstasy dealer
coming right up.

You two can meet me
at Lux in an hour.

- Sure.
- Right. Daniel?

- Yeah?
- You can stay.

(siren wailing in distance)

Oh, here's one.

Some idiot named Ben Simpson.

Absconded in a stolen
ice cream truck.

Six-five.
Aggravated assault

with a blowtorch. Snore.

Don't you clowns have
anything challenging?

What is that?
(sniffs)

Do you smell that?

Axe Body Spray.

(scoffs)

Oh, hello. Uh, do I know you?

Used to.

I'm Lucifer's... friend.

Oh, so... we're friends?

(laughs) Hell no.

You were a monstrous bitch

and I hated you.
We were mortal enemies.

Right. I get that a lot.

Yeah, but now
something's different.

It's...

wonderful.

And Lord knows
I could use a distraction.

Oh, well, I have been
trying to make changes.

You know, new leaf and all.

Hasn't been easy,

but I'm glad
it's finally starting to...

come through.

Oh, something's coming
through all right.

(sniffs)

Oh.

You smell incredible.

(laughs)

What, um, exactly did you say
our relationship was?

Shh. Don't talk.

I've got to go
hog-tie a fugitive

in an ice cream
truck right now.

But... I will
definitely be back.

♪♪ Ooh, ah ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh, ooh ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh, ah ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh, ooh ♪♪

♪♪ Don't wanna hide ♪♪

♪♪ Better start running... ♪♪

Where's Pierce?

He said he was coming.

Well, he's probably
busy at the precinct.

And if you're worried

about him being checked out,
relax.

He's sticking around L.A.
for a while.

I kind of convinced him to stay.

Oh, don't be foolish.

The man's clearly staying
for me.

Turns out we have
quite a bit in common.

Right. So, back to reality,
where we have a case to solve,

where is this dealer
you promised?

Two house specials, please.

Lucifer, you know I don't drink
on the job.

Here you go. Two
house specials.

♪♪ Will I survive? ♪♪

(under breath):
Your bartender is a drug dealer?

What, you think I hired him
for abs alone? (chuckles)

Where'd you get
the K-Pop?

♪♪ What you're saying
when you fall asleep... ♪♪

I get it from
the Korean Power.

Best "E" in town,
or used to be.

Sad but true.

Previously hangover free,
but now in the morning,

your mouth's like
Gandhi's flip-flop.

Hmm, what changed?

Their cook.

The gang used to have
some genius lady chemist,

but I heard she got greedy.

- She stole from the Korean Power?
- Yup.

Big, powerful,
scary, boss dude,

and she pilfered right
from under his nose.

- Huh.
- (bartender chuckles)

Pretty ballsy.

I mean, not that
I would ever...

Yes, yes, get on with it.

So, the boss put a hit
out on her, did he?

Yeah, but her lab blew up
before they could get to her.

Freak accident.

Accident?

Do you know this boss' name
or where we can find him?

Yeah. Brandon Hong.

He likes to hang out at
this one karaoke spot

over on Irolo.

But these guys
don't mess around.

Right, well, mmm...

off we go, Detective.

What? Off we go to where?

To the karaoke parlor,
talk to a gang leader.

Maybe do a duet if you're
feeling adventurous.

We have to verify this testimony
with Vice.

We have to get a warrant,

assemble a SWAT team.

You know, actually plan
to do a gang takedown.

Right. Is that
the sort of thing

the lieutenant
would get involved in?

No, Pierce will not get involved
until we bring him a suspect.

Which is why we should
just go to the parlor

and skip to that part.

Lucifer, this is a
ruthless drug lord

with who knows how
many armed thugs?

You can't just walk in there
with your three-piece suit

and say... (British accent):
"Hello, drug dealers."

I would never do that.

(speaks Korean)

Come out, come out
wherever you are.

(gun cocks)

- And who are you?
- I'm Lucifer.

Morningstar. But don't worry,
I'm here alone.

- The police raid won't happen for a few more hours.
- Police raid?

Yes. So as you can see,
I'm in a bit of a rush.

Could you point me
to the bigger gun?

- Your boss?
- Get rid of him.

What is it with people
trying to avoid me today?

("Lucifer" by SHlNee playing)

(singing in Korean)

(grunting)

♪♪ Lucifer... ♪♪
(singing in Korean)

♪♪ Lucifer... ♪♪

(singing in Korean)

(man shouts)

(grunting, screaming)

♪♪ More than a feeling ♪♪

- (all exclaim)
- ♪♪ More than a feel... ♪♪

- ("Lucifer" continues playing)
- (grunting)

♪♪ Lucifer. ♪♪

- I'm only trying to help.
- Help?

- Who?!
- You. The lieutenant.

I'm a giver, damn it.

And now you

are gonna help me.

(chuckles) - CHLOE: Mr. Hong,
thank you for coming in.

So, out-out of curiosity,
what... how did you know

that we wanted
to speak to you?

Ah, when you're
in my line of work,

word gets around, you know?

And what line
of work is that?

Oh.

I run the Korean Power.

- Ah.
- Uh, we are a criminal organization

specializing in extortion
and drug dealing.

And, yes.

Sandra Jang used
to cook our Ecstasy.

Oh. And while you're
being so forthcoming

about your felony
distribution,

you care to
confess to murder?

(chuckles)
I'd love to help you,

but Sandra's death
wasn't our doing.

LUCIFER: What, even though
she stole from you

and faked her own
death to escape?

Yeah, she was
a smart cookie.

I totally fell
for the old

my-lab-exploded-
and-I-died shtick.

- (chuckles)
- But then,

like a voice from beyond,
she called me.

Sandra stole money from
you to start a new life.

Why would she get back
in contact with you?

To pay the money back,
with interest.

She was sick of looking
over her shoulder, I guess.

The suburbs gave her a double
garage and a conscience.

Yeah, I find that
hard to believe.

You and your guys,

you aren't necessarily
known for your kindness.

(laughs)
Thank you.

And you're right.

I never forgave Sandra.

But not for stealing,
for leaving.

When I found out
she was still alive,

I begged her to come back,
but she said no.

Best cook I ever had.

Our profits went down over 40%
when we lost her formula.

So she was worth more
to you alive than dead.

Oh, um...

I've instructed
my guys to cooperate.

You know, alibis and stuff
for the night Sandra was killed.

Whatever the police need.

Okay, you do understand that
even if you weren't involved

in Sandra's death, you have
confessed to several felonies

and we will be arresting you.

Whatever it takes to bring
Sandra's killer to justice.

Right.

That was the most cooperative
arch-criminal I've ever met.

Did you go to that club
on your own?

What did you do to him?

Nothing.
Just made him a deal.

Of course you did.

In exchange
for his cooperation,

I gave him the formula
we found on Sandra's computer.

I mean, a few years in prison
is just a small price to pay

for doubling your profits
with a superior product.

- You can't just hand out random, illicit drug recipes.
- Ah-ah.

Not random,
Detective, the best.

I mean, you don't
want inferior Ecstasy

out there on the streets,
ruining orgies

and dubstep parties,
now, do you?

Rhetorical. My point is,
I got us our suspect,

so can we finally
involve the lieutenant?

We are not involving Pierce
until we check Hong's story.

And if what
he says is true,

he's not even a suspect.

(groans)

There's one way
to find out.

There is?

Well, what are we
gonna find in there?

We already know about
Sandra's criminal past.

Yes, but what about
her criminal present?

Sandra paid cash for her house,
then two years later,

paid back the Korean mob,
with interest.

Right. How'd she
get that money?

Exactly. You can't do that
on a chemistry teacher's salary.

So, what do we think?

She was hacking into banks?

Or she decided to dust off her
old skill of cooking Ecstasy.

- Right.
- Okay.

Now that we know what
we're looking for,

let's try to find proof
that she was still making

and now selling drugs.

Huh. That's weird.

It's not connecting.

Oh, let me have a look at it.

Oh, Lucifer,
please don't mess with it.

What does this do, anyway?

Stop shaking it.
You're gonna break it.

Ah, you're right, Detective.

It does help to know
what you're looking for.

Are those client lists? Ooh.

One angry one, maybe.

"I know what you're doing.

End it or you're dead."

Ooh.

So, you can take the girl
out of the Ecstasy biz,

but you can't take
the Ecstasy biz out of the girl.

LUCIFER: Well, actually,
it's not Ecstasy.

It's more sort of
a homebrew Adderall.

It's very smooth. (sniffs)

Did your partner just admit
to snorting evidence?

The only thing I admit to is
being very focused on this case.

CHLOE:
We think Sandra adjusted

her product
to her new environment.

Type-A moms,
high-pressure dads...

And all the Ivy League-bound
brats in between.

And if she was selling,
these death threats suggest

that someone didn't want
those drugs in the neighborhood.

We think she was trying
to determine who sent them.

And maybe looking
got her killed.

All right.
Get close to the neighbors.

See who you can smoke out.

Right. I-I had
the exact same idea,

and there is a house for rent
on Sandra's block.

However, the owner will
only rent to couples.

Great. You and Lucifer
are on it.

No, I'd love to,

but I canvassed the
entire neighborhood.

They know I'm
a cop. Dan, too.

So find another officer
with knowledge of this case

to go undercover.

LUCIFER:
Oh, don't worry.

We already have.

Hey, hey.

It's the welcome wagon.

Yeah, but not
in the lame way.

(chuckles) We just want
to be the first to say hi

to the, uh, new couple
on the block.

- I'm Brian. This is my wife Anya.
- Hey.

Thank you.
That is so thoughtful.

Honey!

We have guests.

Ah. Right. Brian and
Anya, this is Marc.

- Hi. Oh.
- (chuckles)

Oh. (sniffs)

Mmm.

All right.

What, plastic plates?

What are we, barbarians?

Don't we have any
china in there?

You know this
isn't real, right?

I mea...
(scoffs)

You realize this is
just for the case.

This is my chance
to really get to know you.

Pierce, I'm taking
it seriously

and so should you for our cause

and for the case, obviously.

So, let's just get in there
and put on a good show.

Shall we? Just
don't give me

your resting Pierce face.

What face?

So, how did you two
lovebirds meet?

We were high school
sweethearts, actually.

- LUCIFER: Aw.
- We were biology partners.

He asked me out while we
were dissecting a crayfish.

(laughs) - My wife.
Oh, the stuff she remembers.

(Brian chuckles) - How about you?
How'd you two meet?

- At work.
- Well, um, actually,

we met through my Dad.

ANYA:
Oh!

- So sweet.
- LUCIFER: Well, not really.

My Dad's a right bastard.

BRIAN:
Oh, right, yes.

Tough, right?
When parents don't approve.

It's true. True.
And my Father would definitely

disapprove of this.

Isn't that right, Marky Marc?

Well, let's not start with that

with these
nice people, Luke.

(sighs) I'm sorry. Marc loathes
talking about himself.

(quietly):
He's shy.

(normal volume):
But don't let that put you off.

I mean, we are
neighbors now, after all.

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- (chuckles)

Feel free to ask him...
I mean, us... anything you want.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Shall we?
- Yes. - BRIAN: Yes.

All right.

ANYA:
Thank you.

LUCIFER:
Smells delicious.

DAN:
Ah, I get it.

You know,
when Chloe and I got divorced,

I was so worried about Trixie.

What she would think,
when I would see her.

But I realized,
it's the quality of the time,

not the quantity, you know?

I'm really glad
we did this, Dan.

You're such a nice, normal guy.

(both chuckle)

Well, thank you, I think.

- I meant that as a compliment.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, after
the past few months,

normal is exactly
what I need in my life.

(chair clatters)

Hey, sexy.

What's up, Dan?

CHARLOTTE:
Uh, hello.

You two know each other.

MAZE:
Oh, yeah.

We, uh, killed a guy
together once.

(chuckles)

(laughs)

Maze...

No.

Uh, what she means is,

we had a killer time,

together, once.

(nervous laugh)

Why are you here, Maze?

Isn't it obvious?

The three of us?

- (chuckles)
- I'm sorry.

Did we...?

Oh, no.

No. No, no, no, no, we didn't.

No. Course n...

But if you wanted to...

um,

now... whatever...

you're into.

I have heard that it's...
can be empowering

'cause I've-I've been reading
this, uh, feminist social...

Well, I'm into it.

If she is.

(exhales)
It's ho... hot.

Oh... uh, can I have
another drink, please?

Thanks.

LUCIFER:
Milano?

Ooh. They're aren't any nuts
in there, are there?

I-I blow up like a balloon.

Of course, allergies.

- Yeah.
- I didn't think of that.

What makes us vulnerable is
often right under our noses.

Shellfish, maybe?

Huh?

Bees? Latex?

Oh, you know I don't have
any allergies, sweetie.

Let's talk about this
lovely community.

You seem so tightknit.

Yes, yes. It must
have been devastating

when that poor woman was found
ground up like hamburger meat.

Our Realtor told us.

Yeah, it was horrible.
Huge loss. We're...

we're kind of one
big family around here.

ANYA:
Well, most of us, anyway.

Some of the neighbors
can be a little uptight.

Ah, come on, babe, the guys
don't want to hear about that.

Right? We're here
to welcome 'em.

- Hear about what?
- The Neighborhood Watchdog.

Someone has been writing notes
and terrorizing the block.

Uh, "Trim your
hedges, or else."

"Stop using non-organic
weed killer,

or I'll make you drink it."

This Watchdog seems rather
preoccupied with gardening.

No. People have been getting
notes for all kinds of things.

Uh, loud music, parking,

holiday decor.

It's like Martha Stewart
and the Terminator had a baby.

(laughs)

Any idea who
this "Watchdog" is?

No, actually.

Well, I suppose
we all have our mysteries.

Don't we? Speaking of,

wouldn't you two
like to know more

about this little enigma?

- Hmm?
- Well,

this has been nice.

Um, but remember,
we have to get up early

for that thing tomorrow morning.

LUCIFER:
Uh...

No idea what you're
talking about, darling.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

BARTENDER:
Here you go.

(inhales)

(sighs)

I thought you went
to the bathroom.

No.
(chuckles)

I'm sorry, I just...
needed a few minutes.

Truth is, I've...
been through hell lately.

That's it.

No wonder
I wanted you.

That's it.

I can smell it on you.

The pain, the torment.

What, it's that obvious?

Girl,

it is all over you.

(laughs softly)
I guess I thought I was doing

a better job of covering it up.

You see, um...

I died recently,

or... well, almost... died.

And since then,
it's been a struggle

to get my life back
to some semblance of normal.

That's what you want?

Normal.

Yes. Please, God, yes.

Well,

I am definitely not God.

Or normal.

So, guess I'm out.

Oh, y-you are?

I just...

I just told you
my deepest secret.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I thought it was you
I was attracted to,

but turns out,
it's just my old life.

And I'm... not sure
if I want to go back there.

Hey, but Dan's probably
still into it, though.

Hmm.

LUCIFER:
Thanks so much for dinner, bye.

ANYA:
Bye, have a good one.

(insects chirping)

(Anya and Brian chatting
indistinctly)

(radio crackles)

This Watchdog weirdo seems
promising.

And those notes sound
just like the one we found

in Sandra's stash.

I just can't imagine someone
so obsessed

with obeying the rules
of suburbia.

Where do you think you're going?

I cook, you clean, remember?

Domesticity can have
a strange effect on people.

Question is, now,

how do we draw out
this Watchdog?

Well, don't you worry
about that, Detective.

Trust me,

no one's a worse neighbor
than the Devil.

("There Goes the Neighborhood"
by Body Count playing)

♪♪ There goes the neighborhood! ♪♪

♪♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪♪

♪♪ There goes the neighborhood ♪♪

♪♪♪♪

♪♪ Da, da, da, da, da... ♪♪

(sharp buzzing)

(door opens)

Lucifer.

What, are you
building something?

Yes.

Our reputation as the most
annoying neighbors on the block.

(chuckles)

It's 4:00 a.m.

Maybe we can finish this
in the morning.

"We"?

You're barely involved.

You know, I-I...

I thought this was
supposed to be about you and I

spending time together.

No. No, no. This is about
catching a killer.

Guys, someone's approaching
the house.

You just need to open up to me.

- CHLOE: Guys?
- That won't solve anything!

- Guys, heads up.
- Everyone has their Achilles' heel.

- Someone's approaching.
- We just need to find yours.

PIERCE:
Right now, mine is you.

Guys. Damn it.

LUCIFER:
We've been through this.

Feel like I
don't know you.

PIERCE:
What are you talking about?

LAPD. Don't move.

Oh.

Hello.

Have you come
for your casserole dish?

Hands up.

BRIAN:
It's not illegal to hold people up

to our community standards.

The police should be
thanking me.

I'm out there every night
helping you guys.

Helping? Is that what you were
doing when you killed June Lee?

What? I di... I didn't hurt June.

I understand.
You're out there,

you're trying to keep
your neighborhood clean.

And then June's there,
dealing drugs.

Wait, you think I was trying to
get June to stop dealing drugs?

I was her best customer.

You were buying her Adderall?

Uh, yeah.

(chuckles)
Me and half the block.

How do you think
I had the energy

to be out there
every night, all night?

I mean, June changed my life.

I learned Mandarin.

I built a deck around my...
I-I lost 40 pounds.

Okay.

So you're saying you didn't
write that threatening note?

No, that's not even my
handwrit... look, look at it.

It's so sloppy. Of course,
what do you expect from someone

clueless enough to put a whole
body into a wood chipper? Wha...

I-I mean,

saw before you mulch.

Everyone knows that.

Thanks.

Ah. Now, he would know

not to put onion skins
down the garbage disposal.

You know,
why wouldn't I put onion skins

down the garbage disposal?

They're garbage.

- They're compost.
- You know what?

Thank God
that this marriage is over.

CHLOE:
Guys.

Brian's not our killer.

But your cover is still intact

and I have
a new plan.

You lovebirds ready
to go back to suburbia?

Ah.

Till death do us part,

darling.

Well, how's this angle,
Detective?

A little to the right,
and make sure

you put the guest book
where I can see it.

Don't worry, Decker, we'll be
checking handwriting

as we go along,
I just hope people show up

after Lucifer's antics.

Ah, I've simply piqued
their curiosity.

♪♪♪♪

Oh, we... we'd like
everyone to sign.

Please.

Makes it more personal.

Um, why is that hummus so
far away from the crudités?

- What?
- Everyone knows

you put the snacks next
to the dipping sauce. I...

Why do I feel like I'm
the only one putting

any effort into anything?

Probably because you're making
everything about you.

Me?

In case you've forgotten,
I am doing this for you.

- PIERCE: Really?
- LUCIFER: Yes, really.

And if you're not committed,
then there's no point

to us even being here.

The only reason I'm here
is because I have to be.

- Ah.
- Everything else is just an empty promise.

You have no idea
what you're doing.

I beg your pardon?

You say you're
a man of your word.

But you're not.

(scoffs)

(scoffs)

Can't believe
he just said that.

Excuse me!

(whispering):
Lucifer.

Lucifer.

What the hell are you guys
doing back there?

This is a sting... you can't
just leave in the middle of it.

I just can't be
around him right now.

(scoffs) Lucifer, sometimes
when you go undercover,

things get real, people
get on each other's nerves.

But here's the thing:

you can't change
your partner.

Tell me about it.

Okay... as hard as
it is right now,

I need you to stick it out
until the job's done.

Pierce is never gonna be
the guy who cares about

where the hummus is,
or whatever.

But he does care
about what matters.

Like solving this case.

He can't do it without you,
and he knows that.

- Does he?
- Yes, he does.

So, please,
get back in there

and get those signatures.

Right.

(shouting playfully)

(indistinct chatter)

(sighing)

You moved the nachos.

Well, yeah, I didn't want
anyone to spill salsa...

BOTH:
Into the macaroni.

Wasn't sure
you were coming back.

I made you a promise.

And I am a man
of my word,

no matter what
you may think.

I may have overreacted.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

But...

you were right
about one thing.

I don't have
all the answers.

But I hope that

we can find them...
together.

I mean, after all, you may be
the only person on this planet

who truly understands me.

I'm not ready
to give up on that.

GUESTS:
Aw...

(both chuckle awkwardly)

(guests gasping, cheering)

Wow. Cover officially restored.

Okay, now can we please
check the book for signatures?

(indistinct chatter)

(girl shouts playfully)

Forgive me.

Ah, Marcie, uh,

some words for the chef?

Ooh, I've got mustard on...

Some words for the chef!

Lovely. Would you mind
working the word "pervert"

in there somewhere?

Could you address it
to "scheming whore"?

(chuckles)

Just a little private
joke for Marc.

Brian said he signed
for us both already.

Well, Marc and I would like
everyone to write

- a little message, if you don't mind.
- Oh.

Okay. Uh, let's see.

Actually, um,
I think it's, uh...

I think it's time
for us to go, dear.

But we just got here.

Uh, yeah, I know,
but we really

need to go.

Brian, please.
What-wh-what are you doing?

Just put the book down.

- Brian!
- Brian...

- Brian, please...
- Just a little message.

No, no, no, I know
what you guys are

- trying to do here.
- Brian.

Hey, Brian, just relax, okay.

Just calm down.

Take it easy.

Everybody get back!

Go on, get back.
All right, yeah? Get back.

Brian. Bri...

We're leaving.

Thanks.
It was great.

- What about hedge trimmers?
- Tried it. Didn't work.

- Put it down, Brian.
- Uh...

I didn't want
to hurt anybody.

I know. And I know you don't
want to hurt anyone right now.

You're not a killer,
you're just protecting one.

Brian, what is she
talking about?

You wrote the threatening
note to June.

We accused your husband,
but he must have

recognized your handwriting
when we showed it to him.

That's why he didn't want
you signing the guest book.

You know?

How could you do something
so stupid, babe?

I'm not stupid.

I know that you and June
were having an affair.

- No.
- I saw you

sneaking around with her,

and then you lost
all that weight.

I thought I would
just write her

one of those notes
to scare her off,

but then you still kept
sneaking out every night.

And then you went
and confronted her.

Yes, but then she
just kept denying it,

and I got so,

so angry I just... shoved her,
and then she...

she hit her head.

But I d...
I didn't mean to kill her.

I just...

I just didn't want you
to leave me.

But he wasn't having an affair.

June was his drug dealer.

It's true.

I was buying pills from her
to help me lose weight.

For you, so that I could
go back to being the guy

that you fell in love
with in high school.

I didn't want you to leave me.

I'm so sorry
I doubted you.

I just... I don't know what
I would do without you.

Neither do I. Oh...

(crying)

Okay, show's over.

(handcuffs clicking)

Yeah, I suppose there's
some cold comfort

in them being
arrested together.

At least they've got each other.

Yeah, they do.

Dan?

(clears throat)

Hey.

I just wanted to
come by and apologize

about the other night.

(chuckles)

You have nothing
to apologize for.

I absolutely, completely
blame Maze.

That girl is a freak.

(laughing):
She is odd.

But she also made me realize
some things about myself.

Maze isn't
the only odd one.

I'm a mess.

All that talk about
feeling normal again?

Wishful thinking.

I have a long road ahead.

You know, whatever
this is that we have,

it has never been normal.

And I decided that
I just have to own that.

I like you, Charlotte.

You are unlike anyone
I have ever met.

So if you need time
to sort some things out,

I can wait.

You're worth it.

(chuckles softly)

So, I heard
the divorce went through.

What are you gonna do
with your half of Lux?

- Very funny, Decker.
- (chuckles)

What's up?

Some of us from the precinct
are going down to the Paddock

for beers after work,

and I thought
you might want to join,

if you don't have
anything better to do.

I don't think I should.

Oh, yeah, no big deal.

Just, like I said,
a lot of people are going, so...

Listen, Chloe,

you and I, it's not a good idea.

Oh, I wasn't suggesting
anything romantic at all.

- I just...
- Listen, it's just

we deal with death
every day,

and...

everybody's gonna die.

Someday you'll die,
and I just...

Yeah.

Losing your brother,
it's still

really affecting you, huh?

Understatement
of the millennia.

I understand.
I do.

And about tonight,
it's not a big deal.

But...

just so I know
that I'm not crazy, um...

in the surveillance van,

when I asked you
to stay in L.A.,

we did have a moment
there, yeah?

We did share a moment.

Which is why I had
to tell you

that I'm not
relationship material.

Mm.

Well, for what it's worth,

it was a really nice moment.

♪♪ Tell me, who's that writin' ♪♪

♪♪ John the Revelator ♪♪

♪♪ Tell me, who's that writin' ♪♪

♪♪ John the Revelator ♪♪

♪♪ Tell me, who's that writin' ♪♪

- ♪♪ John the Revelator... ♪♪
- Lucifer, this better be good.

I was really looking forward
to sleeping

far away from you tonight.

Oh, it is good.

I've finally got
you figured out.

- (chuckles) Really?
- Mm, yes.

You're terrified of letting
someone get close to you

'cause you know they'll
eventually leave you.

You'll outlive them.

You want to die because

you don't want to
be alone anymore.

Yeah, well, duh.

- What's your point?
- If we're gonna kill you...

...then we have got
to do it together.

Is that right?

Mm.

You see, I don't think you've
been spending time with me

trying to figure out
how to kill me.

I think you want
to spend time

with someone who's been
screwed by your Dad

as much as you've been.

You are the one that
doesn't want to be alone.

I suppose one might
call us friends now.

And it is nice to have
a friend who can relate.

I get you.

No, you don't.

But you've been
on the earth, what, five years?

You'll see.

It's hard not
to get attached.

Okay. Okay.

So we both have some issues
that we need to work through.

But if we're gonna
get revenge on Dad,

we've got to be committed.

I've already married you.

I'm not sure how much
more committed I could be.

(laughing)

True. True.

But there are
so many things

that we never got to try.

♪♪ John the Revelator ♪♪

♪♪ Wrote the book
of the seven seals ♪♪

Fine.

Go get the chain saw.

Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
(chuckles)

♪♪ Wrote the book of the seven seals.
♪♪ - (groans)