Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1937}{1998}You'll have to get out here, fellas. {2020}{2070}Thanks for the lift. {2264}{2311}Goodbye! {2633}{2684}(Horn blares) {2742}{2820}- How about a lift, mister?|- Sure, jump on the back. {2821}{2852}Thank you. {2942}{2993}Are you all set? {2995}{3054}OK, let her go. {3056}{3107}(Engine revs) {3231}{3316}- (Driver laughing)|- What's the big idea? {3317}{3384}What's the matter? Can't you take a joke? {3385}{3453}Get back on, l was only kiddin'. {3454}{3522}Well, it's a good thing you apologised. {3570}{3644}- We sure did told him off, didn't l?|- Yeah. {3645}{3696}(Engine revs) {4203}{4253}This is it, fellas. {4296}{4345}Thank you very much. {4588}{4635}Ahhh. {4959}{5010}What happened? {5012}{5083}- Good morning.|- What can l do for you? {5084}{5191}- Why, we'd like a job.|- What kind of employment do you prefer? {5193}{5314}Anything you got, missus. We're down|to our last six bucks, aren't we, Ollie? {5315}{5366}(Telephone) {5368}{5470}Well, kindly be seated,|l'll talk to you in a little while. {5471}{5517}Hello? {5550}{5618}Yes, Sterling Employment Agency. {5667}{5713}Who? {5750}{5796}Yes. {5829}{5886}Oh, yes, l understand. {5887}{5938}Good morning, Mrs Vandevere. {5940}{5991}l'm in a terrible predicament. {5993}{6078}l'm giving a party tonight|and my maid and butler have left me. {6080}{6131}Could you send me a couple? {6133}{6262}l haven't any on the list but l'll see|what l can do. A single or married couple? {6264}{6394}- 'l'd prefer a married couple.'|- All right, l'll do my best. {6396}{6464}- Goodbye.|- (Receiver clunks) {6465}{6561}Too bad you wasn't a woman,|that'd be a swell job for us. {6761}{6816}(Clunk, crashing, Ollie yells) {6959}{7065}Pardon me, but did l hear you say|you were looking for a maid and butler? {7067}{7163}- Yes, do you know of anyone?|- l know the perfect couple. {7165}{7262}- Are they available?|- l can get them right away, if not sooner. {7264}{7392}l'd appreciate it very much if you'd have|them go to this address immediately. {7394}{7445}Come, Stanley. {7513}{7564}- Goodbye.|- Bye. {7634}{7687}Goodbye. {7689}{7794}What's the idea?|We don't know any couple, do l? {7795}{7862}You don't but l do. {7863}{7914}ls that so? {7993}{8064}Ah, very nice, my dear! {8065}{8136}lt's wonderful what you can do|when you have to. {8137}{8198}Thank you, baldy, you're such a dear. {8200}{8297}Er, what's the latest|on the maid and butler situation? {8298}{8385}l haven't heard a thing|and l'm terribly worried. {8386}{8499}Don't you worry. lf the worst comes|to the worst, you can serve a buffet. {8501}{8565}- (Buzzer)|- Oh, excuse me. {8883}{8923}Are you the head butler? {8960}{9007}l am Mr Vandevere. {9008}{9074}Oh. We are from the employment agency. {9129}{9181}Oh, yes. {9276}{9359}We're the best they could do|at the last moment. {9383}{9434}So l can see. {9436}{9472}Well, come right in. {9473}{9524}Thank you. Come, dear. {9603}{9653}(Coughs) This way. {9744}{9835}Oh, darling, this is the new maid and butler. {9836}{9904}- Mrs Vandevere.|- How do you do, ma'am? {10309}{10364}What a strange-looking person. {10366}{10436}What do you expect on a few hours' notice? {10437}{10530}lf you'd have gone to the trouble we did|to get us the job... {10531}{10652}What he means...SHE means is that this is|the best they could do upon short notice. {10654}{10741}Never mind, dear.|Any old port in a storm, you know. {10743}{10812}l suppose you're right. Call Pierre. {10813}{10864}(Bell tinkles) {10866}{10942}- What's your name?|- Er, my name is Ollie {10944}{11002}and this is Agnes. {11004}{11055}(Tearing) {11224}{11265}A slight accident. {11267}{11310}Did you ring, madame? {11311}{11390}Yes, Pierre.|This is the new maid and butler. {11411}{11488}Show them to their quarters|and explain their duties. {11489}{11529}Yes, madame. {11530}{11580}Come, dear. {11656}{11707}(Pierre) This way. {11929}{11999}- (Chatter)|- Well, well, well. {12333}{12383}No, thank you. {12596}{12647}No, thank you. {12663}{12714}They're good. {12807}{12858}No, thank you. {12946}{12997}(Laughs nervously) {13480}{13524}Ooh! {13782}{13859}(# Shave And A Haircut) {13883}{13968}There's everything from soup to nuts, folks. {13969}{14019}Come and get it! {14238}{14289}What do l do now? {14317}{14378}You can take these cocktails. {14379}{14436}- What, all of them?|- Certainly! {14437}{14514}See if you can do that without spilling them. {14894}{14945}OK, boys, siddown. {15084}{15135}(Tinkling) {15158}{15295}Now, don't nobody eat till Mrs Vandevere|gets here. She went to change her dress. {15424}{15475}Well, kid, how does she look? {15575}{15664}(Laughs) Well, folks, the joke's on me! {15665}{15770}l've got you all seated wrong -|the old guy wants you all mixed up. {15771}{15817}l'll fix it. Say, you. {15818}{15907}- Me?|- You come here. Bring your eats with you. {15908}{15989}And you go over there.|Take your eats with you. {15990}{16070}lt's all right, don't get excited. l'll fix it. {16071}{16128}You go over there. Take your eats with you. {16129}{16203}You go over there|and take your food with you. {16204}{16255}You go over there, take your food. {16257}{16329}You come over here, and you go over there. {16330}{16432}- Just a minute...|- Will you keep quiet? Quit interrupting. {16433}{16512}You come over here,|bring your eats with you. {16513}{16613}No, don't sit there. Over here.|Bring your eats with you. {16614}{16675}- You go over there...|- Just a minute... {16676}{16771}You'd better go siddown.|Come right here and siddown. {16772}{16815}Right there. {16816}{16939}No, no, no, don't sit there. You go|over there, and you go over there. Right. {16941}{17006}- Come on, move fast.|- Don't you realise...? {17007}{17058}Take it easy, old boy. {17060}{17164}(Ollie) Oh, no, over there, please.|Take your eats with you. {17165}{17252}You come over here.|No, no, don't sit there, please. {17254}{17347}One of you boys go over there.|And you come right here. {17348}{17407}No, you're on this seat right here. {17409}{17507}lf you'll just... That's it.|You go right around there. {17508}{17565}Your food... You got it? That's it. {17566}{17617}Siddown, will ya, Pop? {17619}{17653}Pop? {17654}{17766}And if you'll go right up there.|Right there and sit right there, that's it. {17767}{17847}No, this side. Now, you sit right over there. {17848}{17925}That's right.|Oh, no, no, no, over here, please. {17926}{18007}You sit right there.|No, not you, the other one. {18008}{18082}Now, you sit right there. You over there. {18083}{18150}And you sit right there. Just a moment now. {18151}{18245}You sit right there,|and you right here, little lady. {18247}{18297}Now, if you'll come... {18354}{18441}Stop! Everyone sit down|right where you are. {18443}{18504}(Muttering) {18584}{18695}Agnes, will you please serve the salad?|Without any dressing. {18887}{18972}- What kind of a joint is this?|- What's the matter? {18974}{19044}He wants me to serve the salad undressed. {19045}{19180}Well, if he wants it undressed,|that's the way he'll have it. Go get the salad. {19310}{19371}(Pop) {20703}{20773}What's the matter with Mr Vandevere? {21107}{21158}(Screams) {21214}{21265}(Mr Vandevere) Let me at 'em! {21267}{21326}Where are they? Why, you...! {21327}{21373}Hey, come here! {21374}{21425}Come on! {21569}{21628}- (Gunshots)|- Owwww! {21630}{21707}l didn't mean it! l'm sorry, l tell you. {21709}{21788}- l didn't have my glasses on.|- Why don't you be careful? {21790}{21842}You almost blew my brains out. {23080}{23131}Hey, lob me your broom. {23619}{23683}- (Crack!)|- (Man) Ow! {24313}{24370}(Hissing) {24838}{24893}(Bell ringing) {24977}{25028}(Ringing stops) {25361}{25412}(Ollie sighs) {25473}{25524}Well, here we are at last. {25526}{25577}Right down in the gutter. {25579}{25638}l wonder what's the matter with us. {25640}{25779}We're just as good as other people|yet we don't seem to advance ourselves. {25780}{25848}You know what the trouble is, don't you? {25849}{25942}We never had no education,|that's what's the matter. {25944}{25995}We're not illiterate enough. {25997}{26068}- l guess you're right.|- Sure l'm right. {26069}{26182}lf we went to school like other people,|we would learn our three Rs, {26183}{26293}and today there'd be no job too small for us,|believe me. {26294}{26353}What do you mean, three Rs? {26354}{26413}Well, reading, writing and... {26460}{26511}and...figuring. {26513}{26566}- Figuring?|- Sure. {26568}{26629}You know - two and two make something {26631}{26723}and four and four make something.|lt's different to the first... {26724}{26796}- You mean 'rithmetic.|- l knew what it meant {26797}{26848}but l couldn't say it. {26850}{26923}- l think you've got something there.|- Have l? {26924}{27028}After we finish work today,|we'll start going to night school. {27029}{27122}Good idea.|Too bad we didn't think of that before. {27350}{27391}Thanks. {28786}{28892}- Don't throw that on the sidewalk.|- Well, we're going to clean it up. {28997}{29065}(Buzzing) {29110}{29146}(Gasps) {29225}{29275}(Alarm bell ringing) {29301}{29356}(Siren wailing) {29771}{29843}Thank you, officers, for your quick action. {29844}{29891}Don't thank us, those are the boys|that made the capture. {29891}{29948}Don't thank us, those are the boys|that made the capture. {30013}{30110}My boys, you've done a service for me|that l can never forget. {30113}{30179}You've saved me|hundreds of thousands of dollars. {30180}{30261}- What can l do to repay you?|- l don't know, sir. {30262}{30385}- l could give you some work in the bank.|- Oh, we wouldn't be of much help. {30386}{30479}You see, we haven't got any education,|have we, Stan? {30480}{30533}No, we don't know a thing, do we? {30535}{30616}We were just talking|of going to night school. {30617}{30700}l see. Diamonds in the rough. {30701}{30800}Then all you need is a little polish|with the proper setting. {30802}{30924}lf it's an education you want, you shall have|the finest that money can buy. {30925}{31024}- What do you think?|- What do you think? {31025}{31116}- lt'll save us the trouble of night school.|- lt's a goal. {31223}{31280}(Foghorn blares) {31754}{31811}(Foghorn blares) {32701}{32764}- Do you see what l see?|- What is it? {33055}{33126}l think they're entitled to the royal initiation. {33127}{33169}By all means. {33170}{33283}Now, listen, you round up the boys|and we'll all have a lot of fun. {33285}{33338}l'll start them off in the maze. {33361}{33454}- So this is Oxford.|- Yes, l think we're going to like it here. {33455}{33536}Pardon me, but haven't you come|to the wrong college? {33537}{33626}- This is Oxford, isn't it?|- You're dressed for Eton. {33628}{33695}Swell, we haven't eaten since breakfast. {33696}{33794}''Haven't eaten since breakfast''!|You made us dress like this. {33795}{33845}No wonder everyone's staring. {33848}{33953}Well, gentlemen, if l can be of any help,|l'm entirely at your service. {33954}{34045}Thank you very much.|Where do we find the head teacher? {34048}{34135}Oh, you mean the dean?|l'll escort you there myself. {34137}{34224}- (Both) Thank you.|- By the way, have you a pass? {34226}{34302}- A pass?|- You must have a pass to see the dean. {34303}{34386}- Where do we get it?|- From the pass professor. {34387}{34483}- Where do we find him?|- You see that entrance in the hedge? {34484}{34551}- Yes.|- When you enter there, {34552}{34679}you go to the right, then to the left,|then to the right again, then right again. {34681}{34793}Then, after you've been to the right,|you keep going right until the left turn. {34796}{34908}Then you go right again|until you find yourself left on the right side. {34909}{34964}- Hmm.|- l know it sounds complicated {34966}{35045}but if you keep to the right,|you can't go wrong. {35047}{35151}Now, then, when you come to the exit|on the other side of the hedge, {35152}{35239}you'll see a sign|pointing to the professor's lodge. {35240}{35367}- ls that to the right or the left?|- My dear old thing, it makes no difference. {35368}{35486}Now, let me get this straight,|we go to the left when we...after the... {35487}{35578}l have the directions, Stanley,|clearly in my mind. {35579}{35646}Thank you very much, we'll be right back. {35647}{35712}- Yes. Goodbye!|- Cheerio! l'll be waiting. {35713}{35786}- Goodbye!|- Goodbye! Goodbye! {35840}{35914}- Goodbye!|- Cheerio! Toodle-oo! {36059}{36095}(Sniggers) {36127}{36197}- Gee, he sure is a swell guy.|- He certainly is. {36198}{36271}- l knew it the minute l set eyes on him.|- You did? {36272}{36368}One thing l pride myself on|is reading character. {36370}{36410}- ls that so?|- Yeah. {36900}{36951}No, no, no, to your left. {37024}{37075}Now to your right. {37224}{37275}Go left. {37532}{37583}Now to the right. {37689}{37740}Wait a minute. {37742}{37817}All we're doing is going around in circles. {37916}{37967}- You know what?|- What? {37969}{38048}l think we must have taken|the wrong turning. {38049}{38110}What do you mean, the wrong turning? {38113}{38168}Maybe we went left instead of right. {38170}{38263}Remember the fella said,|''First you turn to the right...'' {38265}{38348}All right. You go to the left, l'll go to the right. {38350}{38462}Whoever finds the exit first,|comes back and gets the other one. {38463}{38538}- That's a good idea.|- Now we're getting someplace. {38632}{38698}What are we going to do about the trunk? {38699}{38825}- Think we'd better leave it?|- Certainly not. We may never find it again. {38827}{38884}l can't carry it, it's too heavy. {38885}{38957}All right, l suppose it's up to me, as usual. {38958}{39031}- l'm not as big as you are.|- Get it on my back. {39032}{39083}l'm doing all l can to help you. {39141}{39192}All right, slide it up. {39194}{39244}(Stan grunts) {39246}{39297}Take it easy. {39299}{39408}- Got it all right?|- lt'll be all right when l get a grip on it. {39409}{39474}- You want a grip on it?|- Yeah. {39630}{39681}- There we are.|- Help me up. {39683}{39733}Now, upsadaisy. {39809}{39860}There we are. {39862}{39919}(Ollie grunting) {39973}{40017}All right. {40018}{40079}- Don't forget to holler.|- l won't! {40107}{40158}- Bye!|- Goodbye! {40160}{40243}- You all right now? Goodbye!|- Goodbye! {40505}{40556}(Horn honking) {40786}{40837}(Air escaping) {40874}{40925}(Honks) {40976}{41020}(Honks) {41059}{41111}- (Honks)|- Oh! {41139}{41186}(Squeaks) {41353}{41414}- Oh, Ollie!|- Where are you? {41416}{41467}l'm here. Where are you? {41469}{41541}- l'm here!|- How can you be here if l'm here? {41542}{41634}Stan, l'm exactly where...|Will you come and find me? {41636}{41693}l will as soon as l can find myself. {41695}{41787}What do you think l am?|l can't be in two places at once. {41841}{41918}- Here we are.|- Will you show me the exit? {41919}{41994}- Here it is.|- Swell. Now get me out of here. {41995}{42090}- Follow me, we'll take the short cut.|- All right. {42093}{42152}- Don't lose me.|- l won't. {42247}{42302}(Bell tolling) {42603}{42654}Hey, just a minute. {42678}{42807}- What did you do with the suitcases?|- l put them on top of the trunk. {42824}{42923}Have l been carrying these all the time?|Get this off of me. {43087}{43138}Let's rest awhile, l'm tired. {43140}{43191}l am too. {43244}{43294}(Groans) {43296}{43343}(Grunts) {43936}{43986}(Sneezes) {44399}{44450}(Sneezes) {44588}{44639}Give me my handkerchief. {45034}{45085}(Sneezes) {45111}{45161}(Blows nose noisily) {45234}{45285}Thank you, Ollie. {45370}{45420}Will you leave that alone? {45422}{45475}l thought you just gave it to me. {45957}{46001}(Yells) {46027}{46078}Now, cut that out. {46407}{46457}(Tremulous yawn) {46473}{46520}(Clicking) {46922}{46972}(Yawns) {47788}{47838}Well, what's the matter now? {47841}{47938}- l just saw three hands.|- Siddown. You're crazy. {47939}{48036}You've been going around in circles all day|and you're dizzy. {48038}{48121}- ls that what it is?|- You just had a dizzy spell. {48122}{48209}- Ha!|- Now, let me get some rest, will you? {48348}{48399}Never had one of those before. {50186}{50237}Hey, Ollie. {50239}{50352}l don't want to bother you but l've just had|another one of those dizzy spells. {50354}{50469}No wonder - smoking those big black cigars,|they're too strong for you. {50471}{50522}- ls that what it...?|- Certainly. {50755}{50795}(Bang) {51639}{51730}- Did you see that?|- Sure, it's one of those dizzy spells. {51731}{51816}That wasn't no dizzy spell.|Go see what it was. {51818}{51915}- l don't want to see what it was.|- Go see what it was and don't argue. {51917}{51984}Hurry up. l'll wait right here for you. {52319}{52376}(Sighs) {52378}{52428}(Screams) {52621}{52725}Nope, nobody there.|Just one of those dizzy spells again. {52726}{52776}Even you look different. {52778}{52833}- (Ollie) Stan! Oh, Stan!|- What? {52834}{52891}- Come on!|- OK, l'll... {52892}{52943}(Shrieks and yelps) {52959}{53020}(Ollie yelling) {53022}{53083}- Don't leave me, Ollie.|- Give me your hand. {53085}{53136}(Stan yelping) {53210}{53265}(Ollie yelling) {53406}{53463}(Screams) {53612}{53663}(Laughs) {53839}{53920}Well, can you beat that?|Welcome to Oxford! {53957}{54025}(Bell tolling) {54060}{54111}- You know what?|- What? {54113}{54202}That fellow that sent us in here|made a fool out of you. {54204}{54299}Yes, and if l ever see him again|l'll punch him in the nose. {54300}{54351}l don't blame you. {54353}{54441}Say, l thought you said|you could read character. {54442}{54516}- l can but he was two-faced.|- Oh. {54517}{54644}- l'll never trust anybody as long as l live.|- That's a good idea. {54645}{54751}Bring them to Johnson's quarters.|Everything's arranged. {54794}{54861}Well? (Clears throat) How do l look? {54862}{54945}Marvellous. Much better|than the old dean himself. {54946}{55055}- You think he'll recognise me with this?|- Never in a month of Sundays! {55057}{55144}Hurry, fellas! Here comes Cecil|with the chumps. {55209}{55260}Here we are. {55363}{55404}(Cecil) This way, please. {55523}{55598}Dean, may l present|the two new boys from America? {55599}{55705}This is Dr Ramsbottom,|the dean of our university. {55707}{55758}Pleased to meet you, Mr Dean. {55760}{55811}Charmed, l'm sure. {55813}{55872}Meet Professor Push-Ha'penny. {55904}{55955}Dr Pigsfoot. {55957}{56014}And his brother, Trotter. {56047}{56162}Well, dear old things, heartiest|congratulations, and all that sort of thing, {56164}{56226}on your entrance into dear old Oxford. {56229}{56311}l hope that our association|will be a happy union. {56312}{56430}We wish to show our hospitality,|true to the traditions of our college, {56432}{56521}by giving you a most hearty|and royal greeting. {56539}{56633}- Cheerio, l don't think.|- Thank you very much. {56634}{56749}Now, is everything in readiness to escort|these gentlemen to their quarters? {56751}{56796}(All) Everything. {56797}{56852}Then carry on. {56854}{56971}# For he's a jolly good fellow,|for he's a jolly good fellow {56973}{57037}# For he's a jolly good fellow {57038}{57082}# And so say all of us! # {57083}{57198}l shall be quite some time at the lecture,|Jenkins. You may take the afternoon off. {57199}{57276}Thank you, sir, thank you. Goodbye, sir. {57277}{57387}# For he's a jolly good fellow,|for he's a jolly good fellow {57388}{57443}# For he's a jolly good fellow {57444}{57495}# Which nobody does deny {57497}{57610}# For he's a jolly good fellow,|for he's a jolly good fellow {57612}{57662}# For he's a jolly good fellow {57665}{57717}# And so say all of us {57718}{57823}# And so say all of us,|and so say all of us {57824}{57939}# For he's a jolly good fellow,|for he's a jolly good fellow {57940}{57993}# For he's a jolly good fellow {57994}{58042}# And so say all of us # {58083}{58158}Well, gentlemen, these are your quarters. {58159}{58244}Don't be afraid|to make yourselves at home. Ta-ta. {58245}{58340}- Skip the gutter.|- (All) And good luck, we don't think. {58460}{58531}Say, that dean's a swell guy, ain't he? {58532}{58619}- Now, there's a man that you can trust.|- He sure is. {58621}{58692}Gee, this is a swell joint, l don't think. {58693}{58744}- lt's a pit.|- Lovely. {58746}{58797}No wonder people go to school. {58814}{58882}Nice place to live in like this. {58883}{58949}No flies or nothing, and... {58950}{59023}l wonder how long this place|has been open. {59024}{59143}l wonder. You'd think they would advertise|to let people know it was on the map. {59167}{59218}- Say, do you know what?|- What? {59220}{59277}We didn't have any sleep last night. {59278}{59381}That's right. ln this excitement,|l completely forgot it. {59382}{59471}Let's unpack the trunk|and make ourselves at home. {59472}{59519}That's a good idea. {60090}{60156}- Boy, is this the life.|- Mm-hm. {60157}{60242}- English colleges give you the works.|- Don't they? {60244}{60318}You should see what they've done|to the dean's bedroom. {60319}{60370}Fix me another snort. {60372}{60425}Hey, fellows! KV! {60455}{60527}- Here comes the dean.|- The dean? {60551}{60610}No, no, no, he's coming down the hall. {60612}{60657}What shall we do? {60918}{60968}(Crashing) {60971}{61036}- (Muffled shouts)|- Did you hear that? {61037}{61115}- Sure. What is it?|- l don't know. Go see. {61757}{61829}Nobody there,|it couldn't have been somebody. {61830}{61898}- How about 40 winks?|- That's a good idea. {62108}{62197}- Say, Ollie...|- What now? {62198}{62249}How about a nightcap? {62251}{62300}Well, just one. {62366}{62444}- There's no fizz water.|- Well, get some. {63576}{63627}There's no more nightcap. {63645}{63721}Well, what would you do in a case like that? {63950}{64017}- Go and get some.|- Certainly. {64018}{64064}Simple. {64743}{64810}(Ollie) Cheerio!|(Stan) l don't think! {64811}{64874}(Ollie) Ripping! (Laughs heartily) {64968}{64999}(Ollie sighs) {65001}{65040}- Say, Ollie.|- What? {65041}{65104}l wonder who that old buzzard is over there. {65133}{65216}Some old cockroach that had this room|before we did. {65218}{65263}Get a load of that puss. {65266}{65361}Say, did you ever see a face like that|outside a zoo? {65363}{65414}- Sure.|- Where? {65416}{65489}ln a monkey house. {65490}{65541}l never thought of that! {65543}{65593}(Ollie laughs) Monkey house! {65622}{65684}Give me some more fizz water. Mm! {65730}{65777}(Squirting) {65778}{65839}l bet you a nickel l can hit him in the eye. {65840}{65891}- Bet you can't.|- Bet you. {65993}{66044}(Ollie, laughing) You missed! {66046}{66103}Give me the bottle. {66105}{66201}- Dime or nothing.|- All right, give you a chance to get even. {66203}{66253}Now. {66441}{66492}(Squirting) {66581}{66636}What are you doing in my quarters? {66637}{66796}You've got a lot of nerve. They're|our quarters, the dean just give 'em to us. {66797}{66861}- l am the dean!|- Read his character. {66862}{66935}l just did, he's a phoney. lt's another rib. {66936}{67025}Sure, he's got ribs all over his face.|See them? {67027}{67087}Get out of my quarters, l tell you! {67090}{67174}Know what the trouble is?|He's got a dizzy spell. {67176}{67244}- He's a Dizzy Dean.|- That's what he is. {67245}{67324}Come on, Dizzy,|get out before l throw you out. {67325}{67371}That goes for me too, Dizz. {67372}{67429}- You can't...|- This is an outrage. {67431}{67505}l'll have you sent down!|l'll have you prosecuted! {67506}{67579}- Ow!|- There, sir! {67580}{67654}And as for you, you'll suffer for this. {67656}{67709}That's a lot of baloney. {67727}{67768}There, sir! {67769}{67846}- See here, of all the...|- Get out of here or we'll... {67847}{67898}How dare you? {67900}{67951}l'll tell him... {67953}{67998}(Tearing) {68030}{68081}l shall speak to my... {68130}{68181}- Jenkins!|- Come on, get out! {68183}{68240}Lunatics at large! {68242}{68292}And stay out! {68482}{68558}- What is the meaning of this?|- You'll find out. {68559}{68648}Deany, tell this nitwit to get out|and stop bothering us. {68649}{68710}He's trying to crash in on our party. {68712}{68790}- What is this all about?|- Hey, Dean, tell him. {68791}{68867}Dean? l reiterate, l am the dean. {68869}{68991}Aw, don't give us that. He told us he was|the dean and he gave us these quarters. {68993}{69069}- Didn't he, Stan?|- He certainly did. Didn't you? {69070}{69127}ls this true, Johnson? {69129}{69175}Yes, sir. {69177}{69218}- See? Don't you feel silly?|- Yeah, get out... {69218}{69245}- See? Don't you feel silly?|- Yeah, get out... {69246}{69284}Silence! {69285}{69374}You shall be expelled,|sent down for this, my lad, all of you! {69375}{69472}This is the most disgraceful outrage|ever perpetrated at Oxford. {69475}{69541}Report to me in the morning. You may go. {69542}{69593}Snitchers. {69649}{69695}- Jenkins.|- Yes, sir. {69696}{69829}Help them to pack their things and see that|they're taken to their proper quarters. {70129}{70208}What will the pater say|when he hears l am to be expelled? {70209}{70304}Don't worry. We'll see|they're not here tomorrow to testify. {70307}{70396}- Snitchers have no place in Oxford.|- You're right. {70398}{70444}The dirty dogs! {70446}{70542}That's one thing we won't tolerate|in Oxford - snitching! {70544}{70580}That's right. {70639}{70723}Here you are, gentlemen,|these are your quarters. {70826}{70932}Meredith the valet will be here shortly|to attend to your needs. {70933}{70984}- Good afternoon.|- Goodbye. {70986}{71037}Well, so far so good. {71062}{71117}- Can you beat that?|- What? {71119}{71191}Look - we're only that far from home. {71205}{71256}lt says on the... {71258}{71315}- (Knock on door)|- Come in. {71317}{71385}How do you do, gentlemen? l'm Meredith. {71386}{71453}l'm Mr Hardy. This is my friend, Mr Laurel. {71454}{71511}How do you do, Mr Hardy? Mr Lau... {71548}{71611}Your Lordship! {71612}{71695}Don't you remember me, sir? l'm Meredith. {71697}{71769}Don't you recall?|l used to take care of you, sir. {71770}{71848}Look out, another rib.|Say, that's a lot of hooey. {71849}{71960}- You never saw him before in your life.|- And l never saw you either. {71961}{72074}Pardon me. l understand, Your Lordship,|why you don't recognise me. {72076}{72133}Oh, it's a pity, it's a pity. {72134}{72225}- What's a pity?|- Oh, it's a sad story, sir. {72226}{72320}lt was a great blow to Oxford.|You see, it's like this, sir - {72322}{72451}when His Lordship was here before,|he was the greatest athlete and scholar {72453}{72511}this university ever boasted of. {72513}{72572}And oh, what a brilliant mind. {72620}{72729}Are you trying to make me believe|that this is the guy you're talking about? {72730}{72821}l know it. l was never so sure in my life. {72823}{72876}(Ollie) Brilliant mind... {72991}{73102}Well, l've known him for years|and he's the dumbest guy l ever saw. {73103}{73173}- Aren't you, Stanley?|- l certainly am. {73174}{73279}- That's why l'm here.|- Pardon me, sir, you don't understand. {73280}{73356}l can recall your accident most vividly. {73373}{73458}- What accident?|- lt happened in this very room. {73460}{73519}lt was right here, at this very window. {73520}{73588}Your Lordship had just defeated Cambridge {73589}{73678}and you were acknowledging the plaudits|of the student body. {73679}{73783}Just as l came in with your tea|and crumpets, the window slipped {73784}{73864}and hit you on the head|as hard as a heavy hammer. {73865}{73961}When you came to, you'd lost your memory {73962}{74030}and wandered away from the university. {74031}{74122}We never saw or heard of you|from that day to this. {74123}{74223}Pardon me for being frank|but l think that you are screwy. {74224}{74330}He's got bees in his cockpit,|that's what's the matter with him. {74331}{74403}Oh, if l could only bring your memory back. {74404}{74495}Maybe some of your peculiar mannerisms|may show up. {74496}{74537}What mannerisms? {74538}{74610}Your Lordship had a most outstanding one. {74611}{74682}- Did l?|- Mmm! When you got very angry, {74683}{74780}you'd wiggle your ears|in a most extraordinary manner {74781}{74832}and you'd fight like a demon. {74916}{74985}Fight like a demon... Wiggle your ears. {74986}{75050}- What?|- Wiggle your ears. {75178}{75255}- l can't wiggle my ears.|- Of course you can't. {75256}{75332}- Of course l can't.|- Now stop this kidding! {75333}{75380}Very good, sir. {75381}{75494}Don't want to hear... Say, why don't you|read his character? Maybe he's right. {75496}{75583}- Maybe l am a lordship.|- You, a lordship! {75610}{75680}''And we're only this far from home''! {75710}{75823}Well, l knew a fella once|that lost his memory and he's better now. {75824}{75870}You see... {75935}{76038}(All chanting) Fee, fi, fo, fum {76039}{76145}We want the blood of an American {76146}{76229}- Be he alive or be he dead...|- What's that? {76230}{76355}- l don't know.|- We'll crush his bones to make our bread {76357}{76462}Fee, fi, fo, fum {76463}{76544}We'll beat those Yankees like a drum {76545}{76658}- l wonder what this is all about.|- That's their chant of revenge. {76660}{76755}Some gentleman must have violated|the ethics of the student body. {76757}{76808}When that happens, oh! {76810}{76899}They're never satisfied|until they've hounded the guilty one out. {76900}{77013}We'll cut their throats|and take out their tongues {77015}{77123}We'll chew them up like chewing gum {77124}{77172}Fee, fi, fo... {77174}{77273}- Look, they're pointing at us.|- Don't worry, it's another rib. {77274}{77357}Oh, no, sir. They never jest|in a case like this. {77359}{77446}We'll send them back|where they came from {77447}{77556}Fee, fi, fo, fum... {77558}{77637}We'll go up and make them jump|out of the window, {77639}{77722}or we'll take off their breeches|and throw them out! {77723}{77797}Fetch a blanket, chaps. {77859}{77891}(Stan whimpers) {77892}{77995}- (Students) Fee, fi, fo, fum...|- They mean us all right! {77996}{78104}We want the blood of an American {78105}{78185}- Be he alive or be he dead|- (Both yelping) {78186}{78237}Where can we hide? {78239}{78354}Climb out the window, sir,|along the ledge through to the next study. {78356}{78413}(Stan yelping) {78415}{78468}Say, Ollie, what about the trunk? {78469}{78519}Never mind the trunk! {78537}{78575}(Clunk) {78613}{78663}Oh, oh. {78784}{78858}(Upper class) Gracious, Meredith,|can't you fix that? {78860}{78927}- Hit me right on the cranium.|- Your Lordship! {78928}{79000}You've got your memory back.|You know me! {79001}{79066}What are you talking about?|Course l know you. {79067}{79195}- Where's my tea and crumpets? Hurry!|- Oh, it's a miracle! A miracle! {79196}{79262}- Are you barmy?|- (Knock on door) {79263}{79346}- See who that is. Stop annoying me.|- Yes, my lord. {79348}{79427}Must be losing his memory.|Silly old bounder. {79428}{79479}There's one of them. {79481}{79547}What is the meaning|of this vulgar intrusion? {79548}{79667}We're going to take off your breeches|and run you out of Oxford. {79669}{79762}Take off my breeches?|ln the presence of Meredith? {79763}{79820}Yes, you dirty snitcher! {79840}{79891}Repeat that remark again. {79893}{79954}(All) Dirty snitcher! {80081}{80170}- Meredith, hold my handkerchief.|- Yes, my lord. {80172}{80243}Now, l demand an immediate apology. {80244}{80353}(All) An apology?|(Man) l'll give you an apology! {80354}{80405}(Crashing) {80407}{80449}(Cheering) {80542}{80647}(Crashing and clanging) {81168}{81205}(Yelling) {81273}{81320}(All) The dean! {81508}{81564}(Crashing) {81566}{81623}Ohhhhh! {81625}{81697}- (Thud)|- Oooh! Oh! {82170}{82239}Wonderful, Your Lordship, wonderful. {82240}{82297}Right back to your old form again. {82299}{82371}Did me heart good to see you carry on. {82372}{82466}- Didn't half put it across 'em.|- Don't annoy me, Meredith. {82468}{82567}Get this place cleaned up,|and hurry with my tea and crumpets. {82568}{82619}l'm starved, really. {82621}{82682}What's the big idea, throwing me out? {82684}{82824}l beg your pardon! Meredith, who is this|coarse person with the foreign accent? {82825}{82876}Why, you little shrimp! {82878}{82929}Are you trying to rib me now? {82931}{83028}Careful, sir, be careful.|His Lordship's regained his memory. {83030}{83124}Don't annoy him, sir,|or he may again become violent. {83152}{83232}- lt's on the level, then?|- Yes, sir. {83233}{83284}Well, congratulations. {83286}{83372}l'm sorry but, er,|we've never been introduced. {83373}{83449}Meredith, will you kindly officiate? {83450}{83526}Mr Hardy, meet Lord Paddington. {83532}{83571}How do you do? {83572}{83653}What is the nature of your business here? {83655}{83738}Why, Stan, don't you know me? {83739}{83830}Know you? Why, l never saw you before|in all my life. {83832}{83906}- What are you talking about?|- Don't you remember? {83907}{84016}- We used to sweep the streets together!|- Sweep the... How dare you! {84017}{84091}How dare you make such slurring remarks! {84093}{84199}Meredith, show this common person|the egress and eject him forcibly. {84200}{84268}- This way, sir.|- Wait a minute! {84270}{84375}l don't know what you're talking about|but this has gone far enough. {84376}{84463}- l'm gonna mop the floor up with you!|- Have a care. {84576}{84645}Wiggling your ears ain't gonna stop me. {84659}{84716}- (Crashing)|- (Ollie screams) {84718}{84771}- (Thud)|- Ow! {85810}{85885}- (Knock on door)|- Come in. {85950}{86030}- Good morning, Fatty.|- Good morning, Your Lordship. {86031}{86098}- Thank you.|- Tea, Your Lordship. {86099}{86168}The dean wishes to speak with you,|Your Lordship. {86169}{86215}Oh, come right in. {86216}{86267}You may remain here, Fatty. {86269}{86366}Good morning.|Would you care to join me in a spot of tea? {86369}{86407}No, thanks. {86408}{86477}Don't stand there, get a chair for the dean. {86478}{86565}Pardon my valet being so horribly stupid. {86566}{86654}He's not quite broken in yet.|Rather thick, as it were. {86655}{86727}- Why do you tolerate him?|- l don't know. {86728}{86838}He's got a jolly old face, you know.|Breaks the monotony and, er, {86839}{86913}helps to fill up the, er, room and, er... {86914}{86965}Besides, he's something to talk to. {86967}{87035}l quite understand, Your Lordship. {87036}{87084}A thousand congratulations {87087}{87187}for all your wonderful accomplishments|since your return. {87188}{87251}Oh, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut. {87252}{87331}Might l presume to ask you a favour? {87332}{87379}Why, certainly. {87380}{87473}Professor Einstein has just arrived|from Princeton {87475}{87568}- and he's a bit confused about his theory.|- You don't say. {87569}{87648}(Dean) He wondered if you could|straighten him out. {87649}{87766}- lt would be a pleasure.|- When could you give him a few moments? {87767}{87826}Let me see, er... Oh, Fatty? {87857}{87908}Hand me my memorandum. {87970}{88034}Let me see now. Monday... {88050}{88111}Tuesday. And, er... {88136}{88193}Suppose we make it Ash Wednesday. {88195}{88306}Thank you, Your Lordship.|The professor will be so very grateful. {88307}{88424}That's perfectly all right. lncidentally -|invite him to have lunch with me. {88425}{88528}- l'm having pancakes.|- Thank you, Your Lordship, thank you. {88529}{88580}Thank you, Fatty. {88582}{88632}Take it. {88728}{88798}Gracious, Fatty, what is this? Senna tea? {88799}{88860}Take this stuff away immediately. {88862}{88931}Don't let it occur again. My goodness. {88956}{88995}(Stan) Hmph. {88996}{89111}lf it wasn't for that bump on the head,|he wouldn't know Einstein from a beer stein. {89112}{89167}Er, by the way, er, Fatty. {89193}{89237}l've noticed lately {89239}{89337}- that you're getting terribly sloven.|- How do you mean, sir? {89339}{89436}You don't seem to have the dignity|becoming of a lackey. {89458}{89549}Er, no poise, you don't walk right,|or something. {89572}{89655}Let me see. Er, pull in your stomach. {89731}{89798}That's better. Throw your shoulders back. {89799}{89884}That's right. Now chin up, chin up. {89886}{89937}No, no, no, both of them. {90056}{90149}There, that's better.|Now walk around. Let me see you. {90150}{90230}Step into it, make it brisker. {90231}{90288}Brisker! Now, chins up! {90355}{90425}Now look what you've done, clumsy. {90461}{90516}l've had enough! When l knew you, {90518}{90640}l had more brains in my little finger|than you had in your whole carcass, {90641}{90688}even with your overcoat on! {90689}{90752}You're a witty old stick-in-the-mud, Fatty. {90753}{90844}- You bet, and don't call me Fatty!|- Don't get excited. {90845}{90896}Who's excited? l'm through! {90898}{90994}Take your lordships, your Oxford|and your Paddingtons {90996}{91046}and do what you like with 'em! {91048}{91144}- l've never been so humiliated...|- Really, old dear. {91145}{91196}Not intentional, really... {91198}{91306}There's one more thing too!|l didn't like that double chin crack! {91307}{91358}- Well, l...|- Ah! {91360}{91463}- (Ollie ranting)|- My goodness! {91464}{91577}(Men singing) # For he's a jolly good fellow,|which nobody does deny {91579}{91634}# Which nobody does deny # {91635}{91706}- (Clunk)|- (Ollie) Never been so humiliated! {91707}{91811}l'm gonna get my clothes|and catch the first boat back. {91812}{91929}And another thing, and furthermore,|get another boy! {91931}{91967}Goodbye! {91993}{92040}- (Normally) Hey, Ollie...|- What?! {92042}{92143}- Where you going?|- Back to America for me. {92144}{92201}- (Door slams)|- Hey, Ollie! {92203}{92249}Ollie! {92250}{92317}(Weeping) Aren't you going to take me? {92318}{92368}Stan! You know me! {92372}{92475}Of course l know you.|Have you got one of those dizzy spells? 38119