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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,033 Edited at https://subtitletools.com 2 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,407 There are tribes in Africa... 3 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:16,034 that lead their young people to the edge of the village... 4 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,870 strip them of everything... 5 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,788 then send them out into the bush... 6 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,916 for a 40-day physical and spiritual ordeal. 7 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,835 If the young people survive... 8 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,171 they are officially initiated into the community. 9 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,756 Our tribe has a different ritual. 10 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,384 It's called "Summer Camp." 11 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,019 We made fun of the camp work booklet. 12 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,021 The smiling idiots on the cover... 13 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,607 and the pathetic clichés inside. 14 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,900 The work booklet said we'd learn... 15 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,776 the true meaning of responsibility... 16 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,112 while creating memories that last a lifetime. 17 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,531 What a joke. 18 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,866 Are we really gonna follow this? 19 00:01:58,202 --> 00:01:59,703 Hi, campers. 20 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,039 Who's hungry for some super summer fun? 21 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,832 Here we go. Fun, fun, fun. 22 00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,626 You guys are gonna have the best summer. 23 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,419 Hey, kids! 24 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,339 OK, you're in my world now, insects. 25 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:11,882 What'd I say? 26 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,343 When the hand goes up, the mouths go shut. 27 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,802 Don't give me any lip, all right? 28 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,137 I've got a headache. 29 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,241 Do your ears hang low? 30 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,243 We counsellors defined ourselves quickly. 31 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,869 Wendy was the perky girl... 32 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,205 who still believed in all the silly little rules... 33 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,915 and all the silly little songs. 34 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,458 Go ahead and make fun of her... 35 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,126 but she was our queen. 36 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,962 - Hey, counsellor! - What?! 37 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,547 This camp sucks shit! 38 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,841 A good counsellor's supposed to know when we eat... 39 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,092 and where are the horses... 40 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,344 and why you wear those stupid uniforms... 41 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,847 What?! Holy Jesus! 42 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,224 Donald Dark liked to think of himself... 43 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,017 as a witty, intelligent young man... 44 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,644 trapped in a geek's body. 45 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,480 Unfortunately, a witty, intelligent young man... 46 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,941 trapped in a geek's body is still a geek. 47 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,573 You look like you could use a friend. 48 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,743 You know, I remember my first day at camp. 49 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,704 Oh, Christ. I was so nervous... 50 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,539 Howdy, pouty! We need another muskrat... 51 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,832 to join our sunshine circle. 52 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,375 Scurry up! Isn't fun great? 53 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,045 "Isn't fun great?" 54 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,213 You've got to be fucking kidding. 55 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,673 I'm Wendy! 56 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,757 If you're happy and you know it... 57 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,384 Stomp your feet. 58 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,635 If you're happy and you know it... 59 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,262 Stomp your feet. 60 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,806 Talia liked kids, but only in theory. 61 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,976 Talia liked nature, but only in photographs. 62 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,730 Talia was temporarily locatedN72 miles from a real city... 63 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,774 and a decent espresso for one reason... him... 64 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,568 her college pal Wichita. 65 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,403 College is entertaining... 66 00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:00,741 but after 40 days and 40 nights of this... 67 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,492 I think we're really gonna... 68 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,660 get to know each other... 69 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,953 you know, in a more kind of... 70 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,163 Ooh, I'm sorry, hon. I gotta go confiscate... 71 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,748 my first water balloon. 72 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,082 All right, let's have it. 73 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,417 Come on! 74 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,422 Weak! What's wrong with you little vaginas? Next! 75 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,637 Adam needed little elaboration. 76 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,847 As a child, he tasted the whip... 77 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,016 and now it was his turn to crack it. 78 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,645 Like all the fine coaches and gym teachers before him... 79 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:30,979 he truly believed... 80 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,649 it was for the little bastards' own good. 81 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,276 Aah! I won't go! Let go of me! Help! 82 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,319 There, there. 83 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,737 I don't want to go to camp! 84 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,074 Hey, pal! Cinnamon, spearmint, or both? 85 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,700 Oh, wow. Thanks. 86 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,702 There you go. 87 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,454 Come on, show some fury! 88 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,373 Thanks, Wichita. 89 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,375 Isn't that cheating? 90 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,793 Whatever works. You know, I mean... 91 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:55,128 it beats the hell out of "there, there." 92 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,469 Jasper was our sensitive counsellor... 93 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:05,597 seemingly shy, actually sly... 94 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,850 a lot more than met the eye. 95 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,394 You touched me! You touched me! 96 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,854 No! Don't touch me! 97 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,398 Don't touch me! Don't touch me! 98 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,109 Meet Todd... from our cabin. 99 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,446 She touched me! 100 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,739 As for the twisted Tinkerbell... 101 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,284 with the band-aids, her name was Pixel. 102 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,287 It was dangerous to try and figure this counsellor out. 103 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,290 Pixel herself wisely never tries. 104 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,880 And finally, Wichita. 105 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,384 Here was someone with anarchy in his eyes. 106 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,429 Here was someone, period. 107 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,597 Wichita would have... 108 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,391 an immediate effect on everyone. 109 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,642 Even those of us... 110 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,477 thought to have no actual feelings. 111 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,188 When you throw a bunch of people together... 112 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,481 in the middle of the forest, they become something more... 113 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,901 than a bunch of people together in the middle of the forest. 114 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,528 Personality traits blend in to one another... 115 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,364 sweet, bitter, moral, immoral... 116 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,575 overconfident, overwhelmed. 117 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,744 A strange environment is created... 118 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,871 one in which anything that happens to anyone... 119 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,206 happens to you. 120 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,459 Welcome toNCamp Bleeding Dove. 121 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:20,255 Welcome toNCamp Bleeding Dove! 122 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:23,050 I am Oberon... 123 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,803 Big Chief Oberon. 124 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,431 It's fun. I like it. 125 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,350 You think I don't? 126 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:39,066 But fun without structure is chaos. 127 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,818 Chaos is not fun. 128 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,030 Now, everybody take off your band-aid. 129 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,198 Red! 130 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,950 - Green! - Blue! 131 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:52,454 Yes, it has begun! And I declare war... 132 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,498 the War of Colours! 133 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,125 I want reds there, greens there... 134 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,252 blues right here, right now! 135 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,170 I didn't get a band-aid! 136 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,006 Now, who's got more camp pride?! 137 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758 Red! Red! 138 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,009 Blue! Blue! 139 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,262 Green! Green! 140 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,931 Red! Red! Red! 141 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,309 Green! Green! Green! 142 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,478 Something tells me he can't hear us. 143 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,690 I can't hear you! 144 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,317 - Good, right? - Yeah. 145 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:25,112 One more time! 146 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,448 Green! Green! Green! Green! 147 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:29,908 Green! Green! 148 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:31,743 Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! 149 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,788 - Green! - Shh! Shh! 150 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,123 Oopsy. 151 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,208 What's the matter? 152 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:42,045 Haven't you people seen an epileptic camper before? 153 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,422 Is she gonna die? 154 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,174 What are you waiting for, counsellors? 155 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,384 Get these Indians into cabins 156 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,722 and on to activities! Swim test! 157 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,807 Sack race and the tug-of-war tournament! 158 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,601 Then on to the campfire! 159 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,399 But even more than the taste of s'mores... 160 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:08,238 he enjoyed the taste of camper flesh! 161 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,745 OK! OK, OK. 162 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,371 Don't everyone all talk at once. 163 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:19,249 First of all, little Willy has a learning disability. 164 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,043 Yes, it's called being really stupid. 165 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,419 What we need is more Ritalin. 166 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:23,462 I mean, Can't we start making him... 167 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,880 snort it or something? 168 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,632 Would you please tell me what I'm supposed to do... 169 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,966 with Bad Boy Billy? 170 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,219 You know, the bovine, little home-schooled lad... 171 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,679 turned today's dodge ball game into dodge scissors. 172 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,849 You have no authority, Donald Dark. 173 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,768 To get camper allegiance, you first have to take away... 174 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,436 their self-respect. 175 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,522 Then you bleed the little bastard until, you know... 176 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,815 This is a summer camp, not a concentration one... 177 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,359 you obvious Nazi bitch. 178 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,486 Hippie hag. 179 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,571 Counsellors! Counsellors! Instead of getting all mad... 180 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,240 at our littleNTasmanian devils... 181 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,449 have you people ever thought of getting all glad at them? 182 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,409 Wendy Bear... 183 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,328 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt... 184 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,455 your guys' little pow-wow, but, uh... 185 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,791 isn't that Bad Boy Billy over there... 186 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,793 munching down on some, uh... 187 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,461 stollen from the chapel communion house? 188 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,881 Whoa! How do you tell... 189 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,675 the Antichrist to take a time-out? 190 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,468 Talia! Just because you happen to be Jewish doesn't mean 191 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,679 that you get to make fun of desecrating the Lord's body. 192 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,847 Sure it does. 193 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:17,683 Look at the work booklet, page 6-C... 194 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,767 "Freedom of religious expression." 195 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:22,604 Wendy, you suck as a counsellor. 196 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,691 Oh, that's harsh, man. 197 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:29,111 Calm down, everyone. "Sucks" is the most disgustingly... 198 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,238 overused word in the current English language. 199 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073 So I figured if I could reverse the meaning... 200 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,741 to where it meant something positive... 201 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:35,784 you know, because historically... 202 00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,286 "sucks" isn't a bad word. 203 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:41,081 Mother's nipple, sno cones, lollies, shit like that. 204 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,416 Oh, fuck it. I don't know. 205 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,626 Call it my social experiment of the summer. 206 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:45,711 So that's one of the pearls... 207 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,296 from your mysterious journal. 208 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,298 Is anybody paying attention 209 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,508 to what Big Chief Oberon is saying? 210 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,970 He turned into a horrible beast... 211 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:59,141 ready to sodomize anything that got in his way... 212 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,602 and eat them raw. 213 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,687 That's a little harsh. 214 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,022 And on Parents' Day... 215 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,483 all the children rushed from their cabins... 216 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:10,736 to see the corpses... 217 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,488 of their slaughtered mummies and daddies... 218 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,824 nailed to the picnic table! 219 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,077 Who's in a yummy tummy marshmallowy mood? 220 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,789 - Here! - Here! 221 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:27,836 There is a placeNI'm dreaming of... 222 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,464 My home away from home... 223 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,634 Camp Bleeding Dove. 224 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,719 Of all the... 225 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,514 Find Amber Stimson. Don't touch Todd. 226 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,766 Jason B. Is the blond, Jason R. Has the harelip. 227 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,309 Thursday is Piñata Day. 228 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,229 You're doing a super job, Wendy. Keep it together. 229 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,689 Keep it together. You can take the pressure. 230 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:48,857 You can take it! 231 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,532 What'd you do that for? 232 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,700 I don't know. 233 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,744 Don't worry. 234 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,995 I had everything on that hand memorized. 235 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,997 You gotta stop taking fun so seriously. 236 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,378 Are we allowed to start hating Wendy yet? 237 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:10,879 Oh, gee, Wichita. 238 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,715 I guess mosquitoes just think I taste better. 239 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:16,426 But you and Wichita go to school together, right? 240 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,179 Have you two ever... 241 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,514 That would be a no. 242 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,683 That wants to be a yes. 243 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,143 It came up that he used to be a camp counsellor... 244 00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:28,480 and I used to be a camp counsellor. 245 00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:31,108 He can be a crude, arrogant little... 246 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,820 but he writes poetry... the unterrible kind... 247 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:38,740 and... I don't know. Just can't help myself. 248 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,284 Get him alone for the summer... 249 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,661 out in the wilderness, underneath the stars... 250 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,663 Well, my grand plan is to find... 251 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:48,166 Amber! What are you... 252 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,835 - Oh, shit! - Uh... 253 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,795 Don't do that! 254 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,672 Whoo! First day of camp. 255 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,674 Colour me impressed. 256 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,843 Reminds me of someone I once knew. 257 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,386 Just promise me you won't try... 258 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,180 moving so fast with Wichita. 259 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,098 Oh, don't worry. 260 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:05,893 I have 39 more days... 261 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:08,228 to find the perfect moment... 262 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:11,231 to tell him exactly how I feel. 263 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,610 And it hurts too much... 264 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:17,154 to keep these feelings inside me any longer. 265 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,822 - I mean... - Talia... 266 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,574 you know how important... 267 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,034 our friendship is to me. 268 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,828 "How important our friendship"? 269 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,747 Oh, man. 270 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,583 You know, you're a truly beautiful person. 271 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,085 Oh, stop. Please stop. 272 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,754 You know, I just never looked at you... 273 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:34,838 in... in that way. 274 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:35,923 I gotta, uh... 275 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,467 I gotta do a bunk check... 276 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,678 or some goddamned thing. 277 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,892 I'm sorry, honey. I completely forgot. 278 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,101 Why were you crying? 279 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:51,063 - Because I didn't get any... - Gum? 280 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:56,902 Sheila! 281 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,029 Goodness, gracious. The Night One sleepwalker. 282 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,781 Wendy, the important thing... 283 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,032 is that when we find her... 284 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,327 do not... repeat, do not jar her awake. 285 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,495 My little brotherNChristian... 286 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,538 he's a sleepwalker... 287 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:08,789 You two keep looking. 288 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:09,998 I left Pixel alone with the girls... 289 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:11,500 and there's something about Pixel... 290 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,503 that I don't quite trust. 291 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,756 Sluttier! Come on, you call that stripping? 292 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,676 Shake your money-maker! Let's see some ass! All right! 293 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,928 You ladies dance for tips and for tips only! 294 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,932 Come on, they worked hard on this. Whoo! 295 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,517 This isn't the hokey pokey! 296 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,310 Come on, you guys, work that body! 297 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:34,147 Don't just stand there! This is college tuition! 298 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,315 Wendy alert. 299 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,485 Come on, guys. Movie. 300 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,072 2 words. 301 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,490 Oh, wait! Austin Powers! 302 00:13:43,574 --> 00:13:47,119 Rush Hour! Boiler Room! 303 00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,454 I know I said this before, but just remember... 304 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,873 when we find Sheila the Sleepwalker... 305 00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,708 it's really important not to jar her awake. 306 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:53,792 - Listen. - What? 307 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,127 I'm gay. 308 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,670 I wasn't gonna say anything... 309 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,713 but I decided, what the hell, you know? 310 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,131 Oh, yeah. What the hell? 311 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,632 I mean, I felt like everybody was getting 312 00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,634 this sexually-confused vibe from me. 313 00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:03,677 No. Just don't jar her awake. 314 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,720 - I'm not, you know? - OK. 315 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,430 I'm straight-up fairy. 316 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,641 Sheila! Where is she? 317 00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:10,684 Oh, it's getting late. We should... 318 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,187 - Donald, relax. - What? 319 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,229 I'm not attracted to you. 320 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,773 Oh, God! Fine! Good! 321 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,443 I'm not even... You know? 322 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,986 I am. 323 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,699 OK. Gay. Gay's great. 324 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,701 Yes, it is. 325 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,746 Whoa! It is for you... 326 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:31,997 and... and... and not... 327 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,458 look, just be gay, and yay for gay. 328 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,626 Yay! Gay! 329 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:36,668 Aah! 330 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:37,711 - Aah! - Ow! 331 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,421 - Aah! - Aah! Ow! 332 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,257 There is a place... 333 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:45,010 I'm dreaming of... 334 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,763 My home away from home... 335 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,265 Camp Bleeding Dove. 336 00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:52,935 The first week of camp had swooshed on by. 337 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,353 Aside from a burnt hand... 338 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,104 everything was going according to schedule... 339 00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:57,356 according to plan. 340 00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,982 I'll rememberNBleeding Dove. 341 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,610 My home away from home. 342 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,488 Man, can't you just give Talia... 343 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,739 a sloppy mercy fuck... 344 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,157 so she won't bother you anymore? 345 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,867 It's not that easy, dude. 346 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,035 It's like, uh... 347 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,787 you know, Talia's my best friend. 348 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:12,829 Oh. 349 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,331 But thanks for voting. 350 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,542 You got a bigger problem sleeping right next to you 351 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,210 and it rhymes with big fag. 352 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,296 Your cabin mate's affecting the camp bug juice, man. 353 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,340 You never... 354 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,676 Oh, hello. 355 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,653 Talk about flipping the script. 356 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,197 That creepy, freak waif in actuality... 357 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:51,493 is a hot, tight, wet piece of summer peach... 358 00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:53,245 just waiting to be picked. 359 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:56,707 Rise, shine, now! 360 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,793 Mess hall, 9 minutes! Move it! 361 00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,462 Mama don't allow no hand clappin' round here. 362 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,799 We don't care what Mama don't allow. 363 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,302 We're gonna clap our hands anyhow. 364 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,803 Mama don't allow no hand clappin' round here. 365 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:11,346 Hey. 366 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:14,391 Mama don't allow no foot stompin' round here. 367 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:19,479 Mama don't allow no foot stompin' round here. 368 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:21,523 We don't care what Mama don't allow. 369 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,400 Gonna stomp our feet anyhow. 370 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,195 Mama don't allow no foot stompin' round here. 371 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,823 Mama don't allow no yee-haw around here. 372 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,325 Yee-haw! 373 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,209 How, campers! 374 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,670 How, Big Chief Oberon! 375 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,757 Better. It's getting better! 376 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,759 Inspection results! 377 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,637 Cabin 4... 378 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,222 dead fly. 379 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:56,767 That's 24-hoursNGameboy confiscation. 380 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:02,397 And it looks like Cabin 6 has a bed-wetter. 381 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,192 Now, I don't want to embarrass anyone... 382 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:09,988 but his initials are Rick Johnson! 383 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,824 - Here! - Come on! 384 00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:14,451 Loser. 385 00:17:16,495 --> 00:17:19,873 Campers! 386 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:23,043 Are you ready for week 2? 387 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,170 Yeah! 388 00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:27,047 That's good! 389 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,633 The timetables are gonna get tighter... 390 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,803 and the war is gonna get tougher. 391 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,264 Now, if you'll look to Wendy... 392 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,975 you'll see today's activities... 393 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,352 Has been cancelled and replaced by... 394 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,020 your first hour of free time... 395 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,857 your whole summer camp experience. 396 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,483 Now, I don't know about you guys... 397 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,776 but I'm gonna hit the lake! 398 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,902 Let's go! 399 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,667 Coed camps... 400 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,836 anarchy, by definition. 401 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,922 If you stop channelling this disgusting... 402 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:10,549 hyena-twitching energy... 403 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,342 even for a second, fluids build up... 404 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,887 generators start to rumble. 405 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,054 You have to be on top of it... 406 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,224 yes, sir... 24 hours. 407 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,188 Thank God my Bible camp lost its funding. 408 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,522 Aw, yeah. 409 00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:28,942 Wow. 410 00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,444 Ay, chihuahua. 411 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,987 Why don't you guys take a picture? 412 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,822 Lt'll last you a little longer, you know? 413 00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:35,949 That's a good idea, Wichita. 414 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,576 Wes, my man, um... 415 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:38,619 I was kinda insinuating... 416 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:39,995 that it's not cool to stare. 417 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,205 Oh. 418 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,791 And now, the greatest of all summer love ballads... 419 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,255 God, I hate this song. 420 00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,799 Oh, I love this song. 421 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,266 Whoa! Yeah! 422 00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,351 Wichita. 423 00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:03,685 - Wichita. - Shh! 424 00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,728 [Whispering]NWichita. 425 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,813 Wichita. Wichita. 426 00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:07,856 Wichita! 427 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:08,941 Wichita! Wichita! 428 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,567 Aah! 429 00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:12,069 Oh, yeah! 430 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,362 You hit Wendy, man! 431 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,821 You hit her right in the chest! 432 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,448 That was so cool, man! 433 00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:19,826 Nothing personal, y'all. I just hate that damn song! 434 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,621 You ruined her radio, man! 435 00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,039 That was so cool! 436 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,458 I don't know, but I couldn't do it again. 437 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,710 Man, I couldn't have done that! 438 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,677 - Whoo! - Whoo! 439 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,929 Oh! 440 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,479 And that's how it began... with a frog... 441 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:49,231 The end of one summer camp 442 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,650 and the beginning of another. 443 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:52,943 Look at them go. 444 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,904 Wendy's an adorable burst of sunshine... 445 00:19:55,988 --> 00:19:58,615 and Wichita's a smoking hot... 446 00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:00,075 piece of steel. 447 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,202 Isn't it romantic the way... 448 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:03,996 that they pretend not to like each other? 449 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,290 It's just like a movie. 450 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,001 Let's follow 'em. 451 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,794 Hey! Wait... wait... wait a minute! 452 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:13,422 Haven't you guys ever seen movies where the... 453 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:14,673 haven't you ever seen movies... 454 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,009 where the sweet, sexy girl realizes... 455 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,219 "Hey, maybeNI don't have to be... 456 00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:21,555 with the hottest hunk"? You know? 457 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,973 Those movies are pathetic. 458 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:26,518 Maybe that... maybe that nice, caring young man... 459 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:29,229 the one the others sometimes call "Nerd" or "Geek"... 460 00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:31,690 maybe he's the one who... who can... 461 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:34,026 Come on, you've seen movies. Back me up, guy. 462 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:36,486 You touched me! You touched me! 463 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:37,905 There he goes again. 464 00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:39,823 - Why'd you touch me? - I'm sorry. 465 00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:40,908 - You touched me. - I'm sorry. 466 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:45,871 You see, some like horseback riding... 467 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,498 some like making moccasins, but now... 468 00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,209 everyone's favourite activity... 469 00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,794 was the watching of the attracted opposites... 470 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:56,840 rulemaker Wendy and rulebreaker Wichita. 471 00:20:56,924 --> 00:21:00,052 They had become the heart of the camp... 472 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:01,762 pumping life to its every pore. 473 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:19,238 What kind of a sick, fucky-fuck ritual is that?! 474 00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:21,615 And look at all of you... 475 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,825 you giddy, freaky witnesses! 476 00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:27,120 I command a complete camp lockdown until dawn. 477 00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:28,997 No one is to leave their cabin... 478 00:21:29,081 --> 00:21:33,585 and no one is to eek one word about this incident... 479 00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:37,840 or the entire subject of sexuality... 480 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:41,426 until I can concoct proper punishment. 481 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:43,136 Move it! 482 00:21:45,848 --> 00:21:48,016 Hey, wait at the cabins, children! 483 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,268 How long do we have to keep up 484 00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:50,644 this queasy massage shit? 485 00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:51,979 Didn't you listen to Wichita? 486 00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,689 If you ever want to be with a girl... 487 00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,148 instead of just talking about it... 488 00:21:55,232 --> 00:21:56,400 massage ability is key. 489 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,485 Look, it's gotta be a rolling motion. 490 00:21:58,569 --> 00:21:59,945 This sucks! 491 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:02,573 Thanks. Wichita says that everyone cool knows... 492 00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:03,907 that "sucks" is a good word now. 493 00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:05,158 Damn, man. 494 00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,493 Just because you're Wichita's favourite... 495 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:07,870 doesn't mean you have to be such a drag. 496 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,496 Hurry! Here comesNDon't-Touch-Me Todd! 497 00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:10,831 Let's do the thing! 498 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:15,335 You know, I was just thinking... 499 00:22:15,419 --> 00:22:18,172 isn't it great having sex with your own mother? 500 00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:21,258 Oh, yeah! Sex with Mum is the bomb... 501 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:22,926 right, Todd? 502 00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:24,553 Aw, no way. No way Todd's that fly. 503 00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:26,346 I bet you've never made love to your mother even once... 504 00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:27,431 have you, Todd? 505 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,434 Sex with my mum?! 506 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:31,894 Um... 507 00:22:31,977 --> 00:22:34,730 Yeah... I mean, tons of times. 508 00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:36,940 I mean, every night, you know? We have a party. 509 00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:40,194 He fell for it! What a freak! 510 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,906 Don't touch me! Don't touch me! 511 00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,157 Don't touch me! 512 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,993 You touched me! You touched me, Mummy! 513 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,369 Mama! Mommy! 514 00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:53,373 Oh, and Pixel says what comes out... 515 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:55,584 tastes like salty pancake batter. 516 00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:58,504 Oh, my God! That's disgusting! 517 00:22:58,587 --> 00:23:00,839 Wait. What are we talking about? 518 00:23:00,923 --> 00:23:03,383 Ooh, they're so "naughty." 519 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:05,427 Is there anything more lame... 520 00:23:05,511 --> 00:23:06,762 than a bunch of bimbettes... 521 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:09,765 talking about s-e-x? 522 00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:12,226 Yeah, Hayley, pretty lame. 523 00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:14,228 I got a good one. What would you do... 524 00:23:14,311 --> 00:23:16,146 if you were in a cabin all alone... 525 00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:18,357 You got Britney Spears, Phoebe Cates... 526 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,442 Old school, baby, yeah. 527 00:23:20,526 --> 00:23:23,362 Halle Berry, and Pamela Anderson... 528 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,489 all in one room, butt-ass naked. 529 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,241 You can do anything you want to 'em... 530 00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:29,034 but one of 'em has, like, deep-dish genital warts... 531 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,661 and you can't use a condom. 532 00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:31,870 Call me conservative... 533 00:23:31,954 --> 00:23:34,873 but I'd just rub my you-know-what... 534 00:23:34,957 --> 00:23:36,124 on all their faces... 535 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,252 before bestowing the final honours... 536 00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:40,504 to divine Miss Berry's lovely visage. 537 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:44,258 Only a virgin could answer that fast. 538 00:23:45,968 --> 00:23:49,346 I mean, no... no! I'm not a virgin! 539 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,891 Doesn't it count... I read somewhere that... 540 00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:55,102 You either have or you haven't. 541 00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:56,645 It's pass-fail, Daffy Duck. 542 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:58,814 Well, fine. Then, maybe I'm just waiting... 543 00:23:58,897 --> 00:23:59,690 for the right girl. 544 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,775 "Right girl"? 545 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:04,069 I thought we were talking about sex, man. 546 00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,571 Pardon my French... 547 00:24:05,654 --> 00:24:07,948 but the right girl is one avec a pussy. 548 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,157 Tell him, coach. 549 00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:11,827 See, guys are different. 550 00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:14,079 You know how a girl feels like a whore... 551 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,540 if a guy's only in it for the poon, right? 552 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,500 What women fail to understand 553 00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:20,752 is that a man is equally ashamed 554 00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,422 if the relationship is based on just talking 555 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:26,175 and sharing feelings. 556 00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:28,552 Do you realize if the women of America... 557 00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:30,053 would have just heard what you said... 558 00:24:30,137 --> 00:24:31,972 They wouldn't be a bit surprised. 559 00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:34,766 I got an "F," a "C," a "K"... 560 00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:37,102 and all that's missin' from that shit is a "U." 561 00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,729 You know what? I figure, fuck it! 562 00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:41,064 Yo! Yo! That's right. 563 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:42,649 But... 564 00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:43,859 Did you get any? 565 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,861 Let me smell your finger. 566 00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:48,655 Oh, yeah. That's frank, y'all. 567 00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:51,116 Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 568 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,409 You know whatNI hate, though? 569 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:56,163 OK, a bitch says yes to going out to dinner... 570 00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,456 And then you get to the restaurant... 571 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:58,957 she orders chips and salsa... 572 00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:00,501 and appetizers... all that shit... 573 00:25:00,584 --> 00:25:02,002 Dessert? 574 00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:03,712 And then when you're driving home... 575 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:05,756 and you whip it out, she gets all... 576 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:07,925 "No means no" on your ass? 577 00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:08,884 You know, they always do that shit! 578 00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,093 What's up with that shit? 579 00:25:10,177 --> 00:25:11,720 I don't understand that shit! 580 00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:12,804 You know what you gotta do, man? 581 00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:14,139 You gotta go down and shit... 582 00:25:14,223 --> 00:25:15,224 and you gotta start wiggling your tongue... 583 00:25:15,307 --> 00:25:16,808 all around and shit, go down and... 584 00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:19,019 get a look at a bitch's body! 585 00:25:20,604 --> 00:25:23,815 You made my enormous cock fall off. 586 00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:25,651 I don't know about you dickweeds... 587 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:28,904 but I gotta go take a nice long juicy dump. 588 00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:31,740 Wendy, men aren't that disgusting. 589 00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:36,537 Hoo-wah. 590 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:39,957 That was one of the 5 great shits of my life. 591 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,250 Mmm. 592 00:25:43,627 --> 00:25:45,170 You know when you start off... 593 00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:46,213 with that incredible resistance... 594 00:25:46,296 --> 00:25:47,548 and then, pow! 595 00:25:47,631 --> 00:25:48,590 2 neat little packages... 596 00:25:48,674 --> 00:25:49,716 that you barely have to wipe. 597 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,759 Man, that's beautiful. 598 00:25:50,843 --> 00:25:53,136 Whew! I need a hug. 599 00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:58,016 Man, I made a grande grumpy the other day. 600 00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,643 I didn't know whether to flush it 601 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:01,270 or send it to preschool. 602 00:26:03,814 --> 00:26:07,234 Huh! Oh! Oh! 603 00:26:09,278 --> 00:26:11,113 Uh-oh. 604 00:26:11,196 --> 00:26:13,365 OK. Huh. 605 00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:18,871 Oh, so that's it. So now I'm the gay guy. 606 00:26:18,954 --> 00:26:20,455 So every timeNI walk into a room... 607 00:26:20,539 --> 00:26:21,707 I'm going to be avoided... 608 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:24,042 like a Spandau Ballet tribute album. 609 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,545 Man, nobody asked you to be a homosexual. 610 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:28,130 You can't complain about being treated gay... 611 00:26:28,213 --> 00:26:30,007 when you are... gay. 612 00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:32,301 While we're on the subject, did you, uh... 613 00:26:32,384 --> 00:26:34,052 get your physical results back yet or...? 614 00:26:34,136 --> 00:26:37,181 Positive is good, right? You know what? 615 00:26:37,264 --> 00:26:40,767 The only toxic asshole in this cabin is you. 616 00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:45,564 Wichita, Wichita, Wichita... 617 00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:47,065 why are you hanging out with us clowns... 618 00:26:47,149 --> 00:26:48,233 when you know how badly... 619 00:26:48,317 --> 00:26:49,943 Wendy wants to be your wonderwall? 620 00:26:50,027 --> 00:26:51,528 Are you shittin' me? 621 00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:53,989 Look, I believe in nothin', she believes in everything. 622 00:26:54,072 --> 00:26:57,159 I listen to lggy, she listens to Barney. 623 00:26:57,242 --> 00:27:00,037 Man, you're doth protesting way too much. 624 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,164 Just admit that you want her. 625 00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:03,790 In case you haven't noticed... 626 00:27:03,874 --> 00:27:06,210 the entire camp is on quarantine because of you two. 627 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:08,754 Now, instead of slipping a frog in her pants... 628 00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:11,548 you should slip her the old bald ferret, man! 629 00:27:11,632 --> 00:27:13,008 Listen, you Vikings... 630 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:16,845 Wendy's a very young and inexperienced lady. 631 00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:18,597 Now, I don't want to be the guy... 632 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,682 that steals the cherry off of her banana split. 633 00:27:20,766 --> 00:27:23,310 Well, you're gonna be executed at dawn anyways. 634 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,395 You might as well commit the crime. 635 00:27:25,479 --> 00:27:27,272 Go to her, Wichita. 636 00:27:27,356 --> 00:27:28,815 Make us proud, man. 637 00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:29,858 You guys are making me blush. 638 00:27:29,942 --> 00:27:31,652 What, me and Wichita? 639 00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,695 Don't be ridiculous. 640 00:27:33,779 --> 00:27:36,031 He thinks he's so alternative... 641 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:38,867 with all his brooding and his... 642 00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:41,286 I mean, he's hardly uninteresting, but... 643 00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:42,829 Uh-huh. 644 00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:45,832 Don't be afraid to get a little stupid and contagious. 645 00:27:45,916 --> 00:27:47,960 What the kids don't understand... 646 00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:49,878 is that this is our summer, too. 647 00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:52,673 I mean, we don't have to put our lives on hold... 648 00:27:52,756 --> 00:27:54,049 to be their butlers. 649 00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:55,259 I just don't understand... 650 00:27:55,342 --> 00:27:58,762 this whole actual sexuality thing. 651 00:27:58,846 --> 00:28:01,723 I mean, how do you go from just being friends with a guy... 652 00:28:01,807 --> 00:28:03,267 to wanting to put the thing he goes to the bathroom with... 653 00:28:03,350 --> 00:28:04,351 in your mouth? 654 00:28:07,062 --> 00:28:10,524 Come on, man. Let's go! Let's go! 655 00:28:10,607 --> 00:28:11,984 Did you hear anything good? 656 00:28:12,067 --> 00:28:15,153 Hey, I know about women. I had this baby-sitter... 657 00:28:15,237 --> 00:28:16,572 Wes. Wes. 658 00:28:16,655 --> 00:28:18,115 Man, have you ever had a woman's pussy... 659 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,200 wrapped completely around your head? 660 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:21,869 Uh, no. 661 00:28:21,952 --> 00:28:24,496 What were you, a butthole baby? 662 00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:29,918 Oh, ho ho. Butthole baby. 663 00:28:30,002 --> 00:28:31,628 Wes, my man, um... 664 00:28:31,712 --> 00:28:34,715 if you find yourself ever turning into one of those... 665 00:28:34,798 --> 00:28:36,592 eat some Drano. 666 00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:39,011 It's for the better of the species. 667 00:28:39,094 --> 00:28:41,180 Now, come on, you guys, it's late. Get to bed. 668 00:28:41,263 --> 00:28:42,431 If it were up to me, 669 00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:44,516 I'd let you guys stay up all night. 670 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,560 You kids ought to do the same. 671 00:28:51,356 --> 00:28:52,316 Hey. 672 00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:54,526 Well, I'll be damned. 673 00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:56,778 Is that coffee? Gimme, gimme, gimme. 674 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:00,490 So what did you gals talk about? 675 00:29:00,574 --> 00:29:02,868 You know, violence in our schools... 676 00:29:02,951 --> 00:29:04,369 the importance of the right to vote. 677 00:29:04,453 --> 00:29:05,871 Yeah, we talked about sex, too. 678 00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:09,958 Oberon must be twitching in his sleep. 679 00:29:10,042 --> 00:29:12,085 I had fun tonight. 680 00:29:12,169 --> 00:29:15,589 I even got along with Talia for about 3 minutes. 681 00:29:15,672 --> 00:29:17,925 I don't know why she hates me so much. 682 00:29:18,008 --> 00:29:19,176 Sure you do. 683 00:29:20,928 --> 00:29:24,848 Yeah, I guess I do. 684 00:29:26,475 --> 00:29:28,519 Don't worry about Talia. She's a rock. 685 00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:50,541 Well, Ann Taylor would have paid a lot more... 686 00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:52,668 but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. 687 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,711 I mean, sometimes, I think the first time... 688 00:29:54,795 --> 00:29:56,046 you really understand anything... 689 00:29:56,171 --> 00:29:58,257 is when you explain it to someone younger. 690 00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,634 You think I'm a big dork, don't you? 691 00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:02,427 No. I think your passion is terrific. 692 00:30:02,511 --> 00:30:04,847 Oh, wow, I think your condescension's even better. 693 00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:10,310 I don't know. It's like between family, friends... 694 00:30:10,394 --> 00:30:12,354 PlayStations, and internets... 695 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,107 it's possible for a person to go their whole lives... 696 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,067 without ever listening to their soul. 697 00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:20,487 Now who's the dork? 698 00:30:21,864 --> 00:30:24,241 Wow, this is a really great conversation. 699 00:30:26,201 --> 00:30:28,704 I can't believeNI just said that out loud. 700 00:30:31,582 --> 00:30:33,458 You know, this reminds me of the time... 701 00:30:33,542 --> 00:30:35,419 when, uh, we were just talking about something... 702 00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:37,296 and all of sudden started to kiss. 703 00:30:49,474 --> 00:30:51,268 Isn't God great? 704 00:30:51,351 --> 00:30:54,021 The way he just brought us together like this? 705 00:30:54,104 --> 00:30:56,523 Weren't we just making out or... 706 00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:58,442 That was nice. 707 00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:02,404 Is that all you can think about? 708 00:31:02,487 --> 00:31:03,655 Wendy. 709 00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:07,117 Wichita. 710 00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:09,828 Don't you get it? 711 00:31:09,912 --> 00:31:12,289 We're responsible for our own evolution. 712 00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:13,624 We can affect change. 713 00:31:13,707 --> 00:31:14,833 The work booklet says... 714 00:31:14,917 --> 00:31:17,586 Hush. Nobody changes at summer camp. 715 00:31:17,669 --> 00:31:19,379 They merely find out who they are... 716 00:31:19,463 --> 00:31:20,547 and become it more. 717 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:24,760 Oh, we can't be friends if we disagree? 718 00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:26,178 I don't know. 719 00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:27,638 That word of yours... 720 00:31:27,721 --> 00:31:29,306 is really starting to piss me off. 721 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,850 "I don't know."NWhat do you know? 722 00:31:33,310 --> 00:31:35,562 I know that I can't go another summer where... 723 00:31:37,064 --> 00:31:41,401 I almost did something or almost met a boy. 724 00:31:41,485 --> 00:31:43,403 What do you know, smarty-pants? 725 00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:58,877 Boys and girls... 726 00:31:58,961 --> 00:32:01,839 Well, I'm not against a little camp romance... 727 00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:07,052 but these little rapists and their whores... 728 00:32:09,763 --> 00:32:11,473 Anarchy. 729 00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:25,195 Rise and shine, campers and counsellors! 730 00:32:25,279 --> 00:32:28,782 Today, unenthusiasm is not an option! 731 00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:31,910 Mess hall, 9 minutes! 732 00:32:31,994 --> 00:32:33,912 Please? 733 00:32:33,996 --> 00:32:35,205 Good grief. 734 00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:38,792 With one lightning bolt, God had completely ruined... 735 00:32:38,876 --> 00:32:41,670 my first significant sexual experience. 736 00:32:41,753 --> 00:32:42,921 Here you go. 737 00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:44,715 It was hard not to take it personally. 738 00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:48,177 There was only one thing for me to do. 739 00:32:48,260 --> 00:32:49,761 Suppress all my budding desires... 740 00:32:49,845 --> 00:32:53,140 and throw myself into my work and Oberon's work. 741 00:32:54,683 --> 00:32:55,976 Hey, campers! 742 00:32:56,059 --> 00:32:58,854 I want a nice morning yee-hee-di-ho! 743 00:33:02,399 --> 00:33:04,443 Camp went back to being camp. 744 00:33:04,526 --> 00:33:06,612 You know, appreciating nature and all. 745 00:33:06,695 --> 00:33:08,530 Why do you think you human dingleberries... 746 00:33:08,614 --> 00:33:10,199 came to camp in the first place? 747 00:33:10,282 --> 00:33:12,159 To go for it! 748 00:33:12,242 --> 00:33:13,785 To just do it! 749 00:33:13,869 --> 00:33:17,706 To clench your fist, raise back your arm... 750 00:33:17,831 --> 00:33:20,542 and shout, "Yes!" 751 00:33:20,626 --> 00:33:22,127 Are you gonna win today? 752 00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:23,712 Yes! 753 00:33:23,795 --> 00:33:24,755 What are you gonna do? 754 00:33:24,838 --> 00:33:25,797 Win! 755 00:33:25,881 --> 00:33:26,965 I can't hear you! 756 00:33:27,049 --> 00:33:28,008 Win! 757 00:33:28,091 --> 00:33:29,259 That's right! 758 00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:32,095 All right, get your potato sacks bouncing! 759 00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:35,140 Bounce! Bounce! And go! Go! 760 00:33:35,224 --> 00:33:36,225 Yeah! 761 00:33:41,021 --> 00:33:42,189 Come on, pull! 762 00:33:42,272 --> 00:33:44,816 One small sexual trauma... 763 00:33:44,942 --> 00:33:46,276 and Wendy had completely retreated... 764 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,654 back into the world of Colour War fun. 765 00:33:48,737 --> 00:33:50,822 Wichita was not a happy counsellor. 766 00:33:50,906 --> 00:33:52,157 Now! 767 00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:57,788 With our camp couple in turmoil, 768 00:33:57,871 --> 00:34:01,917 we loyal cabin mates swooped in to lend a helping hand. 769 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,253 No, it's not from Wendy. 770 00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:05,712 Too bad for me, huh? 771 00:34:05,796 --> 00:34:08,006 What, you got a secret admirer or some shit? 772 00:34:08,090 --> 00:34:09,675 Not so secret anymore. 773 00:34:09,758 --> 00:34:12,344 None other thanNSheila the Sleepwalker. 774 00:34:12,427 --> 00:34:14,012 That's cute. 775 00:34:14,096 --> 00:34:17,266 Yeah. I just wish it was somebody older and maler... 776 00:34:17,349 --> 00:34:18,308 like you. 777 00:34:18,392 --> 00:34:19,810 Thought I wasn't your type. 778 00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:22,479 Wich-i-ta, you're everybody's type. 779 00:34:22,563 --> 00:34:24,690 But that's OK, I get my occasional crushes. 780 00:34:24,773 --> 00:34:25,774 Good night, dude. 781 00:34:25,858 --> 00:34:28,235 Good night, Wich-i-ta. 782 00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:33,198 Rejection. 783 00:34:41,623 --> 00:34:43,792 You're only doing this for shock value. 784 00:34:43,876 --> 00:34:45,919 I'm not shocked. 785 00:34:46,003 --> 00:34:48,714 Are you mad at me for giving the cabin girls new hairdos? 786 00:34:48,797 --> 00:34:52,384 Or teaching the girls how to activate their clitoris? 787 00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:54,261 What?! 788 00:34:54,344 --> 00:34:57,472 Are you still miserably pining for Wichita's lightning rod? 789 00:34:57,556 --> 00:35:02,311 Are you a lesbian or... What are you, Pixel? 790 00:35:02,394 --> 00:35:05,731 I didn't realizeNI had to declare a major. 791 00:35:05,814 --> 00:35:08,609 Why do you even like me? 792 00:35:08,692 --> 00:35:11,612 I don't know. Because you remind me of when I was... 793 00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:15,782 I guess I was never really like you. 794 00:35:15,866 --> 00:35:19,786 You know, so cute and so questioning... 795 00:35:19,870 --> 00:35:21,038 and so adorably... 796 00:35:21,163 --> 00:35:23,248 I'm not some naive little twerp! 797 00:35:23,332 --> 00:35:24,917 Uh-huh. 798 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,251 One time my little brother ate a magnetic puzzle piece... 799 00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:27,419 and we had to go through his poop for a week. 800 00:35:27,503 --> 00:35:28,670 It was really disgusting... 801 00:35:28,754 --> 00:35:29,796 'cause it was all mushy and everything. 802 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,799 On that note, my morning swim. 803 00:35:32,883 --> 00:35:34,635 Speaking of eating, my favourite food's Chinese. 804 00:35:34,718 --> 00:35:38,180 Bleeding Dove had hit the halfway mark. 805 00:35:38,263 --> 00:35:40,349 The silly little songs and the silly little rules... 806 00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:42,017 had lost their magic. 807 00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:44,269 With my shell-shocked director still an unblinking... 808 00:35:44,353 --> 00:35:46,730 unmoving, unspeaking blob on the office cot... 809 00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:49,358 it was up to me to bring camp back to life! 810 00:35:50,609 --> 00:35:52,903 But my heart was someplace else. 811 00:35:58,367 --> 00:35:59,952 That was a bummer, Quentin... 812 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:02,162 your parents not coming to Parents Day. 813 00:36:02,246 --> 00:36:03,455 You all right? 814 00:36:03,539 --> 00:36:04,873 Yeah, I'm fine. 815 00:36:04,957 --> 00:36:06,667 My dad's back had a relapse again. 816 00:36:06,750 --> 00:36:08,418 - Yeah. - I'll see you, man. 817 00:36:11,964 --> 00:36:13,924 Hey, Wes, that really sucked what you just did. 818 00:36:14,007 --> 00:36:15,592 Thanks, man. 819 00:36:15,676 --> 00:36:16,718 Now, lookee here, um... 820 00:36:16,802 --> 00:36:18,720 I left something down by the lake. 821 00:36:18,804 --> 00:36:19,888 You think you can go get it for me? 822 00:36:19,972 --> 00:36:20,973 What is it? 823 00:36:21,056 --> 00:36:23,058 You'll know it when you see it. 824 00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:25,435 Sure, Wichita. Whatever you say, man. 825 00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:07,311 Isn't fun great? 826 00:37:07,394 --> 00:37:09,730 Boy, oh, boy and girl, oh, girl! 827 00:37:09,813 --> 00:37:11,899 Looks like I'm gonna have to take out my secret weapon! 828 00:37:11,982 --> 00:37:14,359 2 words that are gonna change your summer! 829 00:37:14,484 --> 00:37:17,404 Please don't let one of those words be "Scavengers." 830 00:37:17,487 --> 00:37:19,281 Scavenger hunt! 831 00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:20,407 Is it getting a little bit awesome in here... 832 00:37:20,490 --> 00:37:21,491 or is it just me? 833 00:37:21,617 --> 00:37:23,327 Everybody, look under your chairs! 834 00:37:23,410 --> 00:37:25,370 Oh, no, under the seats. 835 00:37:25,454 --> 00:37:26,705 Whoo, what do we have here? 836 00:37:26,788 --> 00:37:29,458 Oh! A scavenger hunt! 837 00:37:44,348 --> 00:37:47,768 From a 5-point pine cone to a 50-point dead blue jay, 838 00:37:47,851 --> 00:37:49,853 you can help your colour out more than ever today! 839 00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:52,606 Nothing can stop us from scavenger fun! 840 00:38:13,001 --> 00:38:14,503 All right, roll this down! 841 00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:18,215 OK, grab that blind! 842 00:38:22,052 --> 00:38:23,804 Hold it together. 843 00:38:23,887 --> 00:38:25,138 I got you, buddy. I got you. 844 00:38:32,896 --> 00:38:35,190 Hurricane Skippy has arrived without warning... 845 00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,276 tearing across the Carolina coast. 846 00:38:37,359 --> 00:38:39,862 Repeat... do not venture outside. 847 00:38:39,945 --> 00:38:41,947 But for now let's mellow out... 848 00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:44,950 with the winner of our summer love song poll. 849 00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,661 Oh, shit. 850 00:38:50,205 --> 00:38:51,582 Hurricane Skippy? 851 00:38:51,665 --> 00:38:53,292 Darn it, campers! 852 00:38:53,375 --> 00:38:55,711 I really think you should pick up these scavenger sheets! 853 00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:57,504 This storm is gonna blow over and then... 854 00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,424 Oh! I've got an idea! 855 00:39:00,507 --> 00:39:01,842 How about a game ofNDuck, Duck, Goose... 856 00:39:01,925 --> 00:39:04,469 to take our minds off... Or, ooh, Marco Polo! 857 00:39:04,553 --> 00:39:05,512 Marco! 858 00:39:05,596 --> 00:39:07,598 Man, that girl is losing it. 859 00:39:07,681 --> 00:39:08,640 It's about time. 860 00:39:08,724 --> 00:39:09,892 Marco! 861 00:39:10,017 --> 00:39:13,395 Hey... isn't fun great? 862 00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:18,692 Amber! 863 00:39:18,775 --> 00:39:21,528 10, 9, 8... Come back here, whore! 864 00:39:29,703 --> 00:39:32,623 That's it! Come on, boys! You can do it! 865 00:39:32,706 --> 00:39:35,417 Ohh, that's sexy! 866 00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:37,503 Ohh. 867 00:39:37,586 --> 00:39:40,047 - 2 words! - 2 words. 868 00:39:40,130 --> 00:39:41,548 First word. Sounds like... 869 00:39:41,632 --> 00:39:44,259 - Movies! - Movies! 870 00:39:44,343 --> 00:39:45,511 Show me some characters. 871 00:39:45,594 --> 00:39:46,762 - 2 words. - 2 words. 872 00:39:46,845 --> 00:39:48,555 Sounds like... 873 00:39:49,848 --> 00:39:51,433 Back to work, bitches! 874 00:39:51,517 --> 00:39:52,601 Grrr! 875 00:40:04,863 --> 00:40:06,031 What is it now? 876 00:40:06,156 --> 00:40:08,116 I mean, what did I do this time? 877 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,618 Just wondered if you've seen this. 878 00:40:13,330 --> 00:40:16,041 How about that? 879 00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,251 You're nifty, Donald. 880 00:40:17,334 --> 00:40:20,879 Oh, uh, you're... you're nifty, too. 881 00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:24,675 Well, I saw you chatting upNTalia this morning. 882 00:40:24,758 --> 00:40:25,759 You should make your move. 883 00:40:25,884 --> 00:40:27,761 Pfft. No, she... 884 00:40:27,845 --> 00:40:31,682 She's... she is great, but, um... 885 00:40:31,765 --> 00:40:34,810 the person that l... I really care about... 886 00:40:34,893 --> 00:40:36,353 You should make your move. 887 00:40:37,729 --> 00:40:39,273 So, what's the deal with you and Talia? 888 00:40:39,356 --> 00:40:40,440 I don't know. 889 00:40:40,524 --> 00:40:42,484 That could be interesting. 890 00:40:42,568 --> 00:40:43,819 No. I don't know. 891 00:40:43,944 --> 00:40:45,529 Come on. Knowing's everything, son. Get up! 892 00:40:45,612 --> 00:40:47,948 Come on. Come on. Tuck your shirt in. 893 00:40:48,031 --> 00:40:49,867 Whoo! Ltchy? 894 00:40:49,950 --> 00:40:50,993 - Posture. - Posture. 895 00:40:51,076 --> 00:40:52,870 Yeah. Let her know your goofy act 896 00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:54,872 is just something you do for the kids, you know? 897 00:40:54,955 --> 00:40:56,290 What? It is? 898 00:40:56,373 --> 00:40:58,584 Yeah, it is. Yeah. You're a mysterious... 899 00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:00,252 You have this mysterious life... 900 00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:01,712 that you don't give a fuck whether... 901 00:41:01,795 --> 00:41:03,297 she's a part of or not. You know what I mean? 902 00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:04,840 I don't give a fuck. 903 00:41:04,923 --> 00:41:06,091 I don't give a fuck whether she's a part of it. 904 00:41:06,175 --> 00:41:07,551 - Exactly. - All right. 905 00:41:07,634 --> 00:41:11,263 Also... Talia has this obsession with India. 906 00:41:11,346 --> 00:41:12,931 India? The country? 907 00:41:13,015 --> 00:41:14,683 I shouldn't say this, she's my best friend... 908 00:41:14,766 --> 00:41:17,477 but India? India? Pussy. 909 00:41:17,561 --> 00:41:19,104 Oh. Pussy for you. 910 00:41:19,188 --> 00:41:22,691 OK. Pussy for me. Posture. India. 911 00:41:22,774 --> 00:41:23,734 Yes, sir. 912 00:41:23,817 --> 00:41:25,027 - Ass. Ass! - Ass. Ass! 913 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:26,486 - Tiger! - What a cute ass it is! 914 00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:27,696 - Pussy! - You're there. 915 00:41:27,779 --> 00:41:28,864 Ass, tiger, pussy! 916 00:41:28,947 --> 00:41:29,907 Yeah! You're in! 917 00:41:29,990 --> 00:41:31,116 Ass, tiger, pussy. We got it. 918 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,367 You're in! 919 00:41:32,451 --> 00:41:34,244 Ohh. 920 00:41:39,750 --> 00:41:41,084 Smoking's cool. 921 00:41:41,168 --> 00:41:42,711 Yes, it is. 922 00:41:42,794 --> 00:41:44,254 Can I have a drag? 923 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:45,923 You're not pregnant, are you? 924 00:41:50,385 --> 00:41:52,763 Man! Red team rules! 925 00:41:52,846 --> 00:41:54,348 - Red! Red! - Red! Red! 926 00:41:54,431 --> 00:41:56,600 - Come on, yeah! - Red! Red! 927 00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:58,060 Yeah, that's the spirit! 928 00:41:58,143 --> 00:42:01,772 Red. Red. Red. Red. 929 00:42:01,855 --> 00:42:02,898 Oh! 930 00:42:04,816 --> 00:42:08,028 What could you possibly want? 931 00:42:08,111 --> 00:42:11,990 Well, I think we kind of got off to a bad start. 932 00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:13,784 There's a lot about me you don't know. 933 00:42:15,702 --> 00:42:17,412 I wish I knew less. 934 00:42:17,496 --> 00:42:20,332 If you weren't such a pig... 935 00:42:20,415 --> 00:42:22,751 Well, I can be a good pig. 936 00:42:22,835 --> 00:42:26,088 Charlotte's Web. Babe. 937 00:42:27,506 --> 00:42:29,132 Good pig. 938 00:42:31,552 --> 00:42:33,762 Prove it. 939 00:42:33,846 --> 00:42:36,181 Excuse me, Jasper, 940 00:42:36,265 --> 00:42:37,850 but some of the other counsellors 941 00:42:37,933 --> 00:42:39,184 are getting back rubs. 942 00:42:39,309 --> 00:42:41,645 I was just wondering... did you want one? 943 00:42:43,772 --> 00:42:47,025 No. Uh, no, I'm OK. 944 00:42:52,906 --> 00:42:55,450 What are you doing? This is not funny! 945 00:42:55,534 --> 00:42:58,078 Don't touch me! Don't touch me! 946 00:42:58,203 --> 00:42:59,371 Where am I? 947 00:43:01,999 --> 00:43:03,333 Told you it'd be easy. 948 00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:04,835 I'll tell Wichita. Who wants to tell Wendy? 949 00:43:04,918 --> 00:43:06,086 Wendy, Wendy. 950 00:43:06,170 --> 00:43:08,297 Todd went out into the hurricane. 951 00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:10,382 He said he went to your cabin. 952 00:43:10,465 --> 00:43:12,759 Lately, he's been really depressed. 953 00:43:12,843 --> 00:43:16,471 I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. 954 00:43:16,555 --> 00:43:17,681 The plan was in motion. 955 00:43:17,764 --> 00:43:19,474 Wendy and Wichita bravely set out 956 00:43:19,558 --> 00:43:21,351 to saveNDon't-Touch-Me Todd. 957 00:43:21,435 --> 00:43:22,728 They would be thrown together. 958 00:43:22,811 --> 00:43:24,980 They would rekindle their romance. 959 00:43:25,063 --> 00:43:28,483 Camp would go back to being fun. Right? 960 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:35,824 I'm only doing this for warmth. 961 00:43:35,908 --> 00:43:37,534 Oh, yeah, me, too. 962 00:43:39,036 --> 00:43:40,829 Well, why do I have the feeling that, uh, 963 00:43:40,913 --> 00:43:42,039 Todd's not even in here? 964 00:43:42,122 --> 00:43:44,666 Let me out of here! 965 00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:47,711 The romance remained unkindled. 966 00:43:47,794 --> 00:43:49,588 The plan was failing. 967 00:43:49,671 --> 00:43:51,715 Until he saw it... 968 00:43:51,798 --> 00:43:53,133 the picture. 969 00:43:53,217 --> 00:43:56,386 Young Wendy and family in front... 970 00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:58,889 and standing in the back... 971 00:44:00,432 --> 00:44:01,683 destiny. 972 00:44:01,808 --> 00:44:03,519 When were you at Mount Rushmore? 973 00:44:03,602 --> 00:44:06,271 Mmm, about 10 years ago. 974 00:44:06,355 --> 00:44:07,814 Why? 975 00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:09,733 Don't look at those! 976 00:44:09,816 --> 00:44:10,776 No. Get back. 977 00:44:10,859 --> 00:44:12,569 - Wichita... - Stop. 978 00:44:14,488 --> 00:44:15,656 Wichita! 979 00:44:17,407 --> 00:44:18,992 Look! 980 00:44:19,076 --> 00:44:21,954 We're in the eye of the hurricane! 981 00:44:31,088 --> 00:44:32,172 Whoa. 982 00:44:33,757 --> 00:44:36,051 Check it out, man. 983 00:44:36,134 --> 00:44:38,929 That is amazing. 984 00:44:39,012 --> 00:44:42,683 Come here, guys. Don't get too far away. 985 00:44:42,766 --> 00:44:45,143 Wendy, we should probably get everybody back... 986 00:44:45,269 --> 00:44:46,520 'cause I'm not sure how long... 987 00:44:46,603 --> 00:44:47,938 these eye of the hurricanes last. 988 00:44:48,021 --> 00:44:49,481 You got to admit it, Wichita... 989 00:44:49,565 --> 00:44:51,692 this is a bad day to be an atheist. 990 00:44:51,775 --> 00:44:55,696 Look at the sky, the air. 991 00:44:55,779 --> 00:44:57,072 The things we do... 992 00:44:57,155 --> 00:44:58,907 we might not change the world right away, 993 00:44:58,991 --> 00:45:01,285 but if we keep working to be good to each other... 994 00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:04,288 this world will be a perfect place by the year 3000. 995 00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:06,123 You know, this eye of the hurricane 996 00:45:06,206 --> 00:45:08,667 has unleashed something special in all of us. 997 00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:10,919 Now, if you want my opinion... 998 00:45:11,003 --> 00:45:12,754 Yes! 999 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,217 You better make that the year 4000. 1000 00:45:17,342 --> 00:45:19,511 OK. Year 4000. 1001 00:45:19,595 --> 00:45:22,264 I got stung by a bee. 1002 00:45:22,347 --> 00:45:24,266 Oh, that's terrible. 1003 00:45:24,349 --> 00:45:25,642 I know how you must feel. 1004 00:45:25,726 --> 00:45:27,144 No, you don't! 1005 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,314 He's right. 1006 00:45:30,397 --> 00:45:34,735 My God, I have absolutely no idea what he feels like. 1007 00:45:38,989 --> 00:45:40,407 Donald... 1008 00:45:42,075 --> 00:45:44,286 feel this air. 1009 00:45:44,369 --> 00:45:46,079 It's doing something to me. 1010 00:45:46,163 --> 00:45:47,789 It's alive. 1011 00:45:47,873 --> 00:45:50,125 Yeah. Oh, alive. 1012 00:45:50,209 --> 00:45:51,376 It is. 1013 00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:56,173 But you know, uh, all in all... 1014 00:45:56,256 --> 00:46:00,093 I'd kind of rather be in India. 1015 00:46:00,177 --> 00:46:02,846 Yeah, India. 1016 00:46:02,930 --> 00:46:06,016 I don't know what it is. I love India. It's... 1017 00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:08,477 The food and... and... 1018 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,522 I just find their culture to be so... 1019 00:46:11,605 --> 00:46:13,065 Indian. 1020 00:46:13,148 --> 00:46:14,107 Oh. 1021 00:46:14,191 --> 00:46:15,359 Yeah, I know. 1022 00:46:15,484 --> 00:46:16,818 Daffy... 1023 00:46:16,902 --> 00:46:19,488 you're making your big move, aren't you? 1024 00:46:19,571 --> 00:46:22,950 And you've been coached by the best... 1025 00:46:23,033 --> 00:46:24,952 I mean, of course. 1026 00:46:25,035 --> 00:46:26,787 Why not pair off the two geeks? 1027 00:46:26,870 --> 00:46:28,830 How convenient for everyone? 1028 00:46:28,914 --> 00:46:30,666 You know what? Fuck this! 1029 00:46:30,749 --> 00:46:32,960 All of you can go to hell! 1030 00:46:36,046 --> 00:46:40,425 All this time, talking down to the kids. 1031 00:46:40,509 --> 00:46:42,177 No more. 1032 00:46:42,261 --> 00:46:44,805 No more distance between me and the campers. 1033 00:46:44,930 --> 00:46:48,350 Between me and the pain. Yes. 1034 00:46:50,644 --> 00:46:51,645 Oh, that's not good. 1035 00:46:58,277 --> 00:47:00,112 You have to be hurt in order to heal. 1036 00:47:00,195 --> 00:47:01,446 Today is the first day 1037 00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:03,740 I can truly call myself counsellor. 1038 00:47:06,201 --> 00:47:07,160 Talia, don't go. 1039 00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:09,788 What? What is it? 1040 00:47:09,872 --> 00:47:11,081 Everything. 1041 00:47:17,045 --> 00:47:19,673 Camp Bleeding Dove had come back from the dead. 1042 00:47:19,756 --> 00:47:23,260 Alive and wicked, the way Wichita liked it. 1043 00:47:23,343 --> 00:47:25,345 Soon he'd take us to the next level... 1044 00:47:25,429 --> 00:47:27,764 but, for now, Wichita had to settle things down... 1045 00:47:27,848 --> 00:47:29,433 the quickest way possible... 1046 00:47:29,516 --> 00:47:31,852 getting Epileptic Eve to fake an attack. 1047 00:47:38,734 --> 00:47:39,902 Coming through! 1048 00:47:39,985 --> 00:47:41,069 Eve! Angel! 1049 00:47:42,654 --> 00:47:46,575 I forgot to remember thatNI'm allergic to bee stings. 1050 00:47:55,459 --> 00:47:56,710 Eve, get up! 1051 00:47:57,211 --> 00:47:58,128 Well, folks... 1052 00:47:58,212 --> 00:47:59,755 it looks like the hurricane is moving out... 1053 00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:02,007 and I can think of no better way to celebrate... 1054 00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:05,093 than with our most-requested ode to summer love. 1055 00:48:10,390 --> 00:48:11,767 Um... 1056 00:48:14,102 --> 00:48:18,232 you might want to take a couple. 1057 00:48:19,316 --> 00:48:20,484 I'm sorry. 1058 00:48:20,567 --> 00:48:22,778 I'm really awful at this job... 1059 00:48:22,861 --> 00:48:25,155 and you should be with someone who... 1060 00:48:27,032 --> 00:48:28,909 What am I supposed to... 1061 00:48:28,992 --> 00:48:33,288 I think that you're supposed to say... 1062 00:48:33,372 --> 00:48:36,792 that this is a very special moment... 1063 00:48:36,875 --> 00:48:39,086 in a young woman's life. 1064 00:48:40,796 --> 00:48:42,422 Hayley... 1065 00:48:43,715 --> 00:48:45,926 behind every great woman... 1066 00:48:46,009 --> 00:48:50,138 is a great embarrassing first menstruation story. 1067 00:48:50,222 --> 00:48:51,974 I hope so. 1068 00:48:54,268 --> 00:48:55,686 That wasn't a period. 1069 00:48:55,769 --> 00:48:58,063 That was an exclamation point. 1070 00:49:07,948 --> 00:49:09,700 Howdy, pouty! 1071 00:49:09,783 --> 00:49:11,243 Did you get my cough drops? 1072 00:49:13,203 --> 00:49:14,204 Wes. 1073 00:49:16,874 --> 00:49:19,501 Listen, man, if you want to talk to me about anything... 1074 00:49:19,585 --> 00:49:20,752 I was pretty confident... 1075 00:49:20,836 --> 00:49:22,421 that I was gonna blow it with Talia... 1076 00:49:22,504 --> 00:49:25,883 but, uh, I must sayNI really outdid myself. 1077 00:49:25,966 --> 00:49:27,426 Well, she's just still pissed off at me... 1078 00:49:27,509 --> 00:49:28,886 and took it out on you. 1079 00:49:28,969 --> 00:49:30,679 Besides, we're out in the middle of the woods. 1080 00:49:30,762 --> 00:49:32,222 It'd be different... 1081 00:49:32,306 --> 00:49:33,599 if we were at a club or a dance or something. 1082 00:49:36,185 --> 00:49:38,187 Check this out. Say you're at a dance. 1083 00:49:38,270 --> 00:49:40,022 The moment you start to think that a girl's... 1084 00:49:40,105 --> 00:49:41,440 even remotely interested in you... 1085 00:49:41,523 --> 00:49:42,608 you gotta get out of there. 1086 00:49:42,691 --> 00:49:43,859 I don't know. Go get a drink... 1087 00:49:43,984 --> 00:49:45,485 or mack on some chick or something... 1088 00:49:45,569 --> 00:49:47,321 and then when she starts fidgeting, you know... 1089 00:49:47,404 --> 00:49:48,697 thinkin' "Oh, maybe he's not gonna come back..." 1090 00:49:48,780 --> 00:49:50,449 that's when you gotta stroll up behind her... 1091 00:49:50,532 --> 00:49:52,117 and just graze the back of her neck. 1092 00:49:52,201 --> 00:49:54,703 Oh, yeah. That ought to... 1093 00:49:54,786 --> 00:49:56,788 I can't do that kind of stuff. 1094 00:49:56,872 --> 00:49:59,708 I don't know. The thing with this Talia... 1095 00:49:59,791 --> 00:50:02,544 Oh, the girl thatNI really care about... 1096 00:50:02,628 --> 00:50:05,005 I can't keep this in anymore, man. 1097 00:50:06,298 --> 00:50:09,009 There's a picture on Wendy's wall. 1098 00:50:09,092 --> 00:50:10,677 She must have been, like, 10... 1099 00:50:10,761 --> 00:50:13,138 it's like a familyNMount Rushmore trip... 1100 00:50:13,263 --> 00:50:16,099 and I'm in the picture. In the picture! 1101 00:50:16,183 --> 00:50:17,643 I mean, what are the fucking odds? 1102 00:50:17,726 --> 00:50:22,064 Yeah, that's... that's weird. Wow. 1103 00:50:22,147 --> 00:50:23,649 I don't know, man. 1104 00:50:23,732 --> 00:50:25,692 I think I'm starting to believe in God. 1105 00:50:25,776 --> 00:50:28,487 And the thing is, I think I like the guy. 1106 00:50:28,570 --> 00:50:30,113 I gotta tell her, right? 1107 00:50:30,197 --> 00:50:32,157 Huh? Yeah. 1108 00:50:32,241 --> 00:50:34,159 Oh, you should go to her. Yeah. 1109 00:50:34,243 --> 00:50:36,495 - Thank you. - Uh-huh. 1110 00:50:39,915 --> 00:50:41,667 Say hi for me. 1111 00:50:54,012 --> 00:50:56,849 I Gotta get up. There's still more to do. 1112 00:50:56,932 --> 00:50:58,809 Whoa, horsey. 1113 00:51:00,727 --> 00:51:02,688 That boy hatesNAsian people. 1114 00:51:02,771 --> 00:51:04,606 That girl thinks she gave her mom cancer... 1115 00:51:04,690 --> 00:51:06,233 by dropping a plate on her hand. 1116 00:51:06,316 --> 00:51:08,735 Her daddy touches her too much. 1117 00:51:08,819 --> 00:51:10,320 His daddy touches him too little. 1118 00:51:10,404 --> 00:51:12,739 You know, um, call me a lunatic... 1119 00:51:12,823 --> 00:51:14,867 but I think you're seriously wonderful. 1120 00:51:17,035 --> 00:51:18,787 Hey, maybe you should go. 1121 00:51:18,871 --> 00:51:21,081 I'm having a bad head day. 1122 00:51:21,164 --> 00:51:22,875 Don't look at me. 1123 00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:24,418 Isn't this the moment where one of us... 1124 00:51:24,501 --> 00:51:26,670 says something seriously offensive to the other one? 1125 00:51:26,753 --> 00:51:28,797 But, hell, why should we let our actual personalities... 1126 00:51:28,881 --> 00:51:30,757 get in the way of us falling in love? 1127 00:51:30,841 --> 00:51:31,925 Exactly. 1128 00:51:34,052 --> 00:51:36,513 You know, you'd be proud of me. 1129 00:51:36,638 --> 00:51:40,726 I guess I'm kind of losing the suit of armour. 1130 00:51:42,227 --> 00:51:43,645 A little bit. 1131 00:51:43,729 --> 00:51:45,230 Well, you'd be proud of me, too. 1132 00:51:45,314 --> 00:51:46,523 I'm dropping this whole... 1133 00:51:46,607 --> 00:51:49,526 Snow White and the 70 dwarves act. 1134 00:51:49,610 --> 00:51:50,569 Not all of it. 1135 00:51:50,652 --> 00:51:51,820 Of course. 1136 00:51:54,364 --> 00:51:57,117 You know, I was thinking. If we could... 1137 00:51:57,201 --> 00:51:58,827 I love you. 1138 00:52:00,662 --> 00:52:03,165 Don't sayNI love you, too. 1139 00:52:03,248 --> 00:52:05,000 I hate that. 1140 00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:06,793 "I love you, too." 1141 00:52:06,877 --> 00:52:09,588 I know what you mean, but you gotta admit... 1142 00:52:09,671 --> 00:52:11,340 it puts me in an awkward position. 1143 00:52:11,423 --> 00:52:13,509 Well, that's OK. 1144 00:52:13,592 --> 00:52:15,552 You don't have to tell me that you... 1145 00:52:22,476 --> 00:52:24,019 God, you're beautiful. 1146 00:52:27,272 --> 00:52:28,273 Quiet! 1147 00:52:33,403 --> 00:52:34,696 Maybe I should go. 1148 00:52:34,780 --> 00:52:36,365 You know, You probably need your rest. 1149 00:52:36,448 --> 00:52:37,449 Probably. 1150 00:52:41,620 --> 00:52:42,871 Hey, Donald. 1151 00:52:46,083 --> 00:52:47,626 Is, uh, Wichita here? 1152 00:52:47,709 --> 00:52:49,670 Oh, he just left, buddy. 1153 00:52:51,129 --> 00:52:52,756 Well, can I help you with something? 1154 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,092 L... I got this note from this girl. 1155 00:52:55,175 --> 00:52:56,260 She wants to meet by the lake tonight... 1156 00:52:56,385 --> 00:52:57,469 Let me see that. 1157 00:53:02,099 --> 00:53:03,517 Sit down. 1158 00:53:07,813 --> 00:53:10,941 Camp Eberhardt. Anne Wilson. 1159 00:53:11,024 --> 00:53:15,362 Lovely, lovelyNAnne Wilson. 1160 00:53:15,445 --> 00:53:17,281 Anne Wilson was the only camper... 1161 00:53:17,364 --> 00:53:19,116 who had a lifeguard certificate... 1162 00:53:19,199 --> 00:53:20,701 so she was the only one allowed to take... 1163 00:53:20,784 --> 00:53:22,953 the canoes out without any supervision, right? 1164 00:53:23,036 --> 00:53:24,872 And she asked me once if I wanted to go... 1165 00:53:24,955 --> 00:53:28,166 for a little post-bonfire spin around the lake. 1166 00:53:28,250 --> 00:53:29,626 You know, a little, um... 1167 00:53:31,086 --> 00:53:32,671 And I said no. 1168 00:53:35,007 --> 00:53:36,675 I said no. 1169 00:53:37,968 --> 00:53:41,221 I was young, I was nervous. 1170 00:53:41,305 --> 00:53:43,849 I didn't really like canoes. 1171 00:53:43,932 --> 00:53:47,352 I said no. And if I would've gone... 1172 00:53:47,436 --> 00:53:48,854 on that canoe with that girl... 1173 00:53:48,937 --> 00:53:50,898 I'd be a completely different person. 1174 00:53:50,981 --> 00:53:52,191 I know it! 1175 00:53:52,274 --> 00:53:57,279 I'd be happy and successful and assertive! 1176 00:53:57,362 --> 00:53:59,198 Wichita. 1177 00:54:00,490 --> 00:54:03,368 That's... I would be... I would be Wichita. 1178 00:54:06,121 --> 00:54:07,581 See, you think you're a kid. 1179 00:54:07,664 --> 00:54:08,832 You think you're young... 1180 00:54:08,916 --> 00:54:10,250 and your decisions don't matter now... 1181 00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:12,836 but they do. They do. They all do. 1182 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,171 - OK! OK! - Trust me. 1183 00:54:14,254 --> 00:54:16,465 You gotta go. You don't want to be like me. 1184 00:54:16,548 --> 00:54:18,300 Just go. Take this and go. 1185 00:54:18,383 --> 00:54:20,344 OK. I'll go to the dumb lake. 1186 00:54:20,427 --> 00:54:22,346 Did you ever suspect it was me? 1187 00:54:22,429 --> 00:54:24,431 No, not really. 1188 00:54:25,724 --> 00:54:28,185 Oh, they're so cute. 1189 00:54:31,063 --> 00:54:33,232 God, was I ever that young? 1190 00:54:33,315 --> 00:54:34,399 Mmm. 1191 00:54:37,736 --> 00:54:40,030 I've... I've never had a girlfriend before. 1192 00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:41,281 Really? 1193 00:54:44,034 --> 00:54:47,704 I've had dreams about losing my virginity... 1194 00:54:47,788 --> 00:54:49,456 but never like this. 1195 00:54:50,749 --> 00:54:52,334 What do you mean? 1196 00:54:52,417 --> 00:54:55,170 Well, for one thing, I wasn't a mutant... 1197 00:54:55,254 --> 00:54:56,755 and for another... 1198 00:54:58,048 --> 00:54:59,883 What are you thinking? 1199 00:55:02,427 --> 00:55:05,681 I'm thinking that I'm glad that I broke up with... 1200 00:55:05,764 --> 00:55:07,808 everyone I ever went out with. 1201 00:55:09,726 --> 00:55:12,187 That swelling's gonna go down, right? 1202 00:55:15,983 --> 00:55:18,652 Are people allowed to do it more than once a night? 1203 00:55:21,864 --> 00:55:24,491 It's, uh, yeah, it's been known to happen. 1204 00:55:37,171 --> 00:55:41,675 Kumbaya, my lord. 1205 00:55:41,717 --> 00:55:44,219 Kumbaya. 1206 00:55:44,303 --> 00:55:49,683 Hello there, Wendy. I didn't hear you walk in. 1207 00:55:49,766 --> 00:55:51,768 What's that? 1208 00:55:51,852 --> 00:55:56,732 You, uh, you look beautiful as always. 1209 00:55:56,815 --> 00:56:00,319 You what? If you... If you insist. I... 1210 00:56:00,402 --> 00:56:01,778 I sort of thought... 1211 00:56:01,862 --> 00:56:05,949 sort of thought you'd be with Wichita. 1212 00:56:06,033 --> 00:56:09,870 Well, yeah, I guessNI'm kind of attracted to you. 1213 00:56:09,953 --> 00:56:13,665 I mean... You... you what? 1214 00:56:13,749 --> 00:56:16,293 You want to take off all my clothes? 1215 00:56:16,376 --> 00:56:18,504 And do what? 1216 00:56:20,589 --> 00:56:23,800 Oh! That's... that's very naughty. 1217 00:56:23,884 --> 00:56:24,676 That's very naughty... 1218 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,803 but, uh, I mean... 1219 00:56:26,887 --> 00:56:28,680 you know, if somebody walks in... 1220 00:56:28,764 --> 00:56:31,308 that... that wouldn't be good. 1221 00:56:31,433 --> 00:56:33,727 You don't care about that? Oh, well. 1222 00:56:36,188 --> 00:56:38,023 Well, I guess if you don't care... 1223 00:56:38,106 --> 00:56:40,359 now's as good a time as any. 1224 00:56:40,442 --> 00:56:41,693 Just, uh... 1225 00:56:43,779 --> 00:56:45,072 Where is it? 1226 00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:52,663 Fuck! 1227 00:57:08,053 --> 00:57:09,513 Ohh! 1228 00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:11,098 Ohh! 1229 00:57:11,181 --> 00:57:14,685 Whoa. I don't see why people protest pornography. 1230 00:57:14,768 --> 00:57:17,062 They must not have seen this issue. 1231 00:57:17,145 --> 00:57:19,398 I'm in love with love. 1232 00:57:21,316 --> 00:57:24,695 Bad Boy Billy, communion eater, frog killer... 1233 00:57:24,778 --> 00:57:26,029 porno fan. 1234 00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:29,825 It's called a pink waffle. 1235 00:57:29,908 --> 00:57:31,159 Perhaps before your time. 1236 00:57:31,243 --> 00:57:32,744 Brillo pad scraped against the skin... 1237 00:57:32,828 --> 00:57:36,373 popping out from a pressed-down tennis racquet. 1238 00:57:36,456 --> 00:57:37,541 OK. That's enough! 1239 00:57:39,751 --> 00:57:42,004 No. I'm just kidding. More. 1240 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,592 Sadist! 1241 00:57:46,675 --> 00:57:48,760 I can't believeNI thought you'd change. 1242 00:57:48,844 --> 00:57:50,012 This is your idea of discipline? 1243 00:57:50,095 --> 00:57:51,305 You're a monster! 1244 00:57:51,388 --> 00:57:52,973 That kid is gonna be traumatized... 1245 00:57:53,056 --> 00:57:54,224 For about 3 days! 1246 00:57:54,308 --> 00:57:55,976 I'm a monster, he's a monster. 1247 00:57:56,059 --> 00:57:57,311 Actually, we're both just guys. 1248 00:57:57,394 --> 00:57:59,438 I don't expect you to understand. 1249 00:58:00,856 --> 00:58:03,901 Keep talking. You're so eloquent. 1250 00:58:03,984 --> 00:58:06,195 Why are you, uh... 1251 00:58:06,278 --> 00:58:08,739 Mmm, don't... don't stop. 1252 00:58:08,822 --> 00:58:10,365 Why? 1253 00:58:10,449 --> 00:58:11,825 Why? 1254 00:58:11,909 --> 00:58:14,494 If I asked those questions, I'd never make love. 1255 00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:15,746 "Love." 1256 00:58:15,829 --> 00:58:19,708 Unh! Damn you! Damn this! Unh! 1257 00:58:19,791 --> 00:58:20,876 Ugh! 1258 00:58:24,505 --> 00:58:26,507 Oh, hurt me bad! 1259 00:58:26,590 --> 00:58:28,425 Ooh. Looks like we've got ourselves 1260 00:58:28,509 --> 00:58:29,593 another intercourse. 1261 00:58:29,676 --> 00:58:31,887 Pixel and Adam sitting in a tree... 1262 00:58:31,970 --> 00:58:34,056 f-u-c-k-i-n... 1263 00:58:34,139 --> 00:58:35,474 No way! 1264 00:58:35,557 --> 00:58:38,101 Let me see. Let me see. 1265 00:58:39,186 --> 00:58:41,313 Hey, Let some impressionable minds have a turn. 1266 00:58:41,396 --> 00:58:43,941 Whoa. 20 points for the red team. 1267 00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:45,526 Let's go back to Wendy and Wichita. 1268 00:58:45,609 --> 00:58:48,278 Oh, hey, um, do we have a lock on Jasper yet? 1269 00:58:48,362 --> 00:58:51,532 God, he's just so lovely. 1270 00:58:51,615 --> 00:58:52,991 I know. 1271 00:58:54,368 --> 00:58:57,871 L... I mean he's a really great counsellor. 1272 00:58:59,206 --> 00:59:01,041 Busted. 1273 00:59:01,124 --> 00:59:03,460 Yeah, that's right. You'd better run. 1274 00:59:03,544 --> 00:59:05,295 What are you going to do about it? 1275 00:59:05,379 --> 00:59:07,297 Ooh. 1276 00:59:07,381 --> 00:59:09,466 My girl's getting tough, huh? 1277 00:59:09,550 --> 00:59:10,634 Oberon's office. 1278 00:59:10,717 --> 00:59:11,969 What were you doing in here? 1279 00:59:12,094 --> 00:59:13,095 Nothing. 1280 00:59:13,178 --> 00:59:14,429 Let me see. Come on. 1281 00:59:14,555 --> 00:59:17,099 Talia, you don't want to look in there. 1282 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,811 Is that Wendy and... 1283 00:59:23,313 --> 00:59:24,314 Oh. 1284 00:59:30,904 --> 00:59:33,615 You really liked Wichita, didn't you? 1285 00:59:35,409 --> 00:59:37,035 I don't understand. 1286 00:59:39,538 --> 00:59:41,456 I don't understand why I'm not... 1287 00:59:41,540 --> 00:59:45,377 more angry or depressed or... 1288 00:59:45,460 --> 00:59:46,628 Hey... 1289 00:59:47,796 --> 00:59:48,881 how you feeling? 1290 00:59:48,964 --> 00:59:51,008 Why are you so nice to me? 1291 00:59:51,091 --> 00:59:52,843 Why am I so... 1292 00:59:52,926 --> 00:59:54,553 That's a new one. 1293 00:59:55,888 --> 00:59:57,848 The way I figure it... 1294 00:59:57,931 --> 01:00:01,143 if I can get through to just one camper... 1295 01:00:01,226 --> 01:00:03,520 then I'm still a pretty incompetent counsellor. 1296 01:00:06,648 --> 01:00:08,567 Hey, where isNBig Chief Oberon? 1297 01:00:14,323 --> 01:00:17,784 Oberon had snapped out of his lightning-induced daze. 1298 01:00:17,868 --> 01:00:21,038 He took to the forest like a mad exiled king. 1299 01:00:21,121 --> 01:00:23,248 His camp had been completely taken over... 1300 01:00:23,332 --> 01:00:26,668 by a strange, almost supernatural force. 1301 01:00:28,003 --> 01:00:30,214 Needless to say, that was sex. 1302 01:00:31,632 --> 01:00:33,550 Don't worry. 1303 01:00:33,634 --> 01:00:35,511 Only 4 of us were having it. 1304 01:00:37,638 --> 01:00:40,349 But even those not performing the actual act... 1305 01:00:40,432 --> 01:00:43,352 found themselves caught in the thrall of it all. 1306 01:00:43,435 --> 01:00:46,104 Sex, sex, sex. 1307 01:00:46,188 --> 01:00:48,899 Thinking about sex, talking about sex. 1308 01:00:48,982 --> 01:00:51,276 Learning Pixel's lesson of how salty pancake batter... 1309 01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:52,945 tastes just like what comes out of... 1310 01:00:54,029 --> 01:00:55,197 Things were getting wild. 1311 01:01:09,628 --> 01:01:12,631 Let me see! Wait! 1312 01:01:28,438 --> 01:01:31,316 Oh, Jasper. 1313 01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,734 Jasper. 1314 01:01:32,818 --> 01:01:34,319 Jasper. 1315 01:01:34,403 --> 01:01:35,988 Jasper. 1316 01:01:36,071 --> 01:01:37,948 Jasper. 1317 01:01:38,031 --> 01:01:39,658 Jasper. 1318 01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:41,243 Jasper. 1319 01:01:41,326 --> 01:01:43,662 OK, this sex thing was getting way out of hand. 1320 01:01:43,745 --> 01:01:45,706 Everyone was having too much fun without me. 1321 01:01:45,789 --> 01:01:47,541 After retrieving my nose ring... 1322 01:01:47,624 --> 01:01:49,793 from Sheila the Sleepwalker's love ritual... 1323 01:01:49,877 --> 01:01:52,713 it was finally time to take my shot. 1324 01:01:52,796 --> 01:01:55,716 Oh, my God. Look atNJerry Rice over there. 1325 01:01:55,799 --> 01:01:57,801 You're a little harsh on Todd. 1326 01:01:57,885 --> 01:01:58,969 Oh, fuck you. 1327 01:01:59,094 --> 01:02:00,429 You got to give me Todd. 1328 01:02:00,512 --> 01:02:02,514 He's probably the most invincible loser... 1329 01:02:02,598 --> 01:02:03,891 I've ever come across. 1330 01:02:03,974 --> 01:02:05,767 OK, stop. You know what? 1331 01:02:05,851 --> 01:02:07,936 I'm going to put my mouth where my mouth is. 1332 01:02:08,020 --> 01:02:09,354 I throw him one overhand pass... 1333 01:02:09,438 --> 01:02:12,316 and he catches it... dramatic pause... 1334 01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:14,776 you let me go down on you. 1335 01:02:14,860 --> 01:02:16,028 What's in it for me? 1336 01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:19,656 No, seriously. If you win this bet... 1337 01:02:19,740 --> 01:02:21,575 you will prove to the cosmos once and for all... 1338 01:02:21,658 --> 01:02:23,327 that you, indeed, know everything. 1339 01:02:27,664 --> 01:02:28,832 Come on, Wich-i-ta. 1340 01:02:28,957 --> 01:02:30,292 Isn't the rush of gambling... 1341 01:02:30,375 --> 01:02:33,170 on your cynically existentially precise philosophy... 1342 01:02:33,253 --> 01:02:34,254 of life enough? 1343 01:02:35,923 --> 01:02:37,174 A handshake's all you're going to get there... 1344 01:02:37,257 --> 01:02:38,008 my good sportsman. 1345 01:02:38,091 --> 01:02:39,343 We'll see about that. 1346 01:02:39,468 --> 01:02:40,969 Hey, Todd, throw me the ball, buddy. 1347 01:02:43,263 --> 01:02:45,349 Go back for a pass. I know you can catch it. 1348 01:02:45,432 --> 01:02:46,767 I can catch it. 1349 01:02:46,850 --> 01:02:48,560 Hey, Todd, don't drop it. 1350 01:02:48,644 --> 01:02:50,604 - Ready? - I'm gonna catch the ball. 1351 01:03:01,907 --> 01:03:03,575 Damn the bad luck, huh? 1352 01:03:03,659 --> 01:03:05,160 Almost! 1353 01:03:05,244 --> 01:03:06,703 Yeah, almost. 1354 01:03:06,787 --> 01:03:08,288 You fat fuck. 1355 01:03:09,373 --> 01:03:10,123 Of course... 1356 01:03:10,207 --> 01:03:13,043 Talia had done the most shocking thing of all. 1357 01:03:13,126 --> 01:03:15,379 She had become a camp counsellor. 1358 01:03:16,255 --> 01:03:17,172 But make no mistake. 1359 01:03:17,256 --> 01:03:19,967 As always, everything revolved... 1360 01:03:20,050 --> 01:03:22,010 around Wendy and Wichita. 1361 01:03:22,094 --> 01:03:23,929 Counsellor Wendy, um, I can't seem to find... 1362 01:03:24,012 --> 01:03:25,848 that vital thingie in the storage room. 1363 01:03:25,931 --> 01:03:28,475 Gadzooks. Why didn't you say something before? 1364 01:03:29,685 --> 01:03:32,354 Wendy and Wichita were the plant... 1365 01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:33,772 on the classroom windowsill... 1366 01:03:33,856 --> 01:03:36,733 fed and watered by enthusiastic children. 1367 01:03:36,817 --> 01:03:39,278 It was so much fun to watch the plant grow... 1368 01:03:39,361 --> 01:03:41,363 and grow and grow. 1369 01:03:41,446 --> 01:03:44,157 Until the roots ripped out the bottom of the cup. 1370 01:03:45,659 --> 01:03:47,035 Do you really think we're fooling anyone? 1371 01:03:47,119 --> 01:03:48,412 Do you really think I care? 1372 01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:49,580 You're so bad. 1373 01:03:50,414 --> 01:03:52,374 Aah! Whoa, horsey. 1374 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:54,668 L... I must be drunk. I'm so sorry. 1375 01:03:54,751 --> 01:03:56,003 They're going to hear us. 1376 01:03:56,086 --> 01:03:58,046 Shh. If you would shut up, they wouldn't. 1377 01:03:59,006 --> 01:04:00,424 - I promise. - Mm-hmm. 1378 01:04:19,234 --> 01:04:21,153 Fuck me, counsellor. 1379 01:04:21,236 --> 01:04:23,697 So, the girl gets, like, an inch of poison ivy... 1380 01:04:23,780 --> 01:04:26,074 and she starts screaming for assisted suicide. 1381 01:04:26,158 --> 01:04:28,535 Be nice. Her father died in that TWA flight... 1382 01:04:28,619 --> 01:04:29,786 the government shot down. 1383 01:04:34,374 --> 01:04:36,919 Oh, Guess what? I'm going to be in the city next week. 1384 01:04:37,044 --> 01:04:38,045 My mom says it's OK... 1385 01:04:38,128 --> 01:04:39,296 if I stay overnight at your dorm. 1386 01:04:39,421 --> 01:04:41,298 She and Daddy are just dying to meet you. 1387 01:04:41,381 --> 01:04:42,508 Oh, and you have to come... 1388 01:04:42,591 --> 01:04:44,009 to our annualNLabour Day barbecue. 1389 01:04:44,092 --> 01:04:45,636 I'm making peach cobbler. 1390 01:04:45,719 --> 01:04:46,887 Gosh, it's going to be so weird... 1391 01:04:46,970 --> 01:04:49,431 you know, planning dates and... 1392 01:04:51,016 --> 01:04:52,184 What's up? 1393 01:04:52,267 --> 01:04:54,394 To me, our passion was evolving... 1394 01:04:54,478 --> 01:04:56,438 into something sweet and lasting. 1395 01:04:56,522 --> 01:04:58,899 To Wichita, I don't know, He kind of freaked. 1396 01:04:58,982 --> 01:05:01,693 Wichita, there's something on the top shelf... 1397 01:05:01,777 --> 01:05:02,736 in the storage room, and I can't... 1398 01:05:02,819 --> 01:05:03,820 Not now, Wendy. 1399 01:05:05,906 --> 01:05:07,991 This isn't about doing it. 1400 01:05:08,075 --> 01:05:09,409 There's just some things... 1401 01:05:09,493 --> 01:05:11,495 that I think we should discuss privately. 1402 01:05:11,578 --> 01:05:12,871 All right, kids... 1403 01:05:12,955 --> 01:05:15,207 does this camp suck, or does this camp suck? 1404 01:05:15,290 --> 01:05:16,750 This camp sucks! 1405 01:05:16,834 --> 01:05:18,085 I can't hear you! 1406 01:05:18,168 --> 01:05:19,920 Suck! Suck! Suck! 1407 01:05:20,003 --> 01:05:22,548 Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! 1408 01:05:22,631 --> 01:05:24,716 Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! 1409 01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,927 Now, they forced us to capture the flag... 1410 01:05:27,010 --> 01:05:28,512 to gather their bombs... 1411 01:05:28,595 --> 01:05:30,722 but we made our own camp! 1412 01:05:41,316 --> 01:05:42,317 Yeah! 1413 01:05:44,152 --> 01:05:47,406 Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! Suck! 1414 01:05:47,489 --> 01:05:48,824 Bleeding Dove's new leader... 1415 01:05:48,907 --> 01:05:51,535 had taken his charismatic anti-everything identity... 1416 01:05:51,618 --> 01:05:52,870 to its ultimate extreme. 1417 01:05:52,953 --> 01:05:54,705 Could he really throw it all away... 1418 01:05:54,788 --> 01:05:56,832 for some piece of romantic destiny? 1419 01:05:56,915 --> 01:05:58,750 You see, love conquers all... 1420 01:05:58,834 --> 01:06:01,670 and Wichita didn't want to be conquered. 1421 01:06:01,753 --> 01:06:04,173 Unfortunately, nobody told me. 1422 01:06:04,256 --> 01:06:05,257 He's freaking me out, all right? 1423 01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:07,759 I mean, we were talking, touching constantly... 1424 01:06:07,843 --> 01:06:10,095 and now... I knowNI'm just being silly. 1425 01:06:10,179 --> 01:06:11,138 We're coming to the end of camp... 1426 01:06:11,221 --> 01:06:12,347 and you want to know... 1427 01:06:12,431 --> 01:06:14,266 if Wichita's love is true, right? 1428 01:06:14,349 --> 01:06:16,727 I can think of nothing less silly than that. 1429 01:06:16,852 --> 01:06:18,729 Let's test the fucker. 1430 01:06:18,812 --> 01:06:20,731 Test him? Don't be ridiculous. 1431 01:06:20,814 --> 01:06:22,691 No. Check it out, right? 1432 01:06:22,774 --> 01:06:24,359 I approach Wichita. 1433 01:06:24,443 --> 01:06:25,527 - Morning. - Uh-huh. 1434 01:06:25,652 --> 01:06:26,820 Tell him that there's a code red... 1435 01:06:26,904 --> 01:06:28,155 and he has to get out to the woods. 1436 01:06:28,238 --> 01:06:30,365 Take him down by the log bridge. 1437 01:06:30,449 --> 01:06:31,575 I'll be waiting behind the oak... 1438 01:06:31,658 --> 01:06:32,618 where Jocelyn sprained her ankle. 1439 01:06:32,701 --> 01:06:34,161 Good idea, good idea. OK. 1440 01:06:34,244 --> 01:06:35,746 So Wichita and I will be on the log. 1441 01:06:35,829 --> 01:06:37,748 I'll put on my sexy, sexy moves... 1442 01:06:37,831 --> 01:06:40,709 and either he'll go for it, or he'll shoot me down. 1443 01:06:40,792 --> 01:06:42,169 But either way... 1444 01:06:42,252 --> 01:06:43,879 you'll come up with some major knowledge. 1445 01:06:45,839 --> 01:06:48,050 If you've ever been to something like camp... 1446 01:06:48,133 --> 01:06:49,551 you know that no matter what happens... 1447 01:06:49,635 --> 01:06:50,928 the entire summer... 1448 01:06:51,011 --> 01:06:53,305 anything having to do with love, hate... 1449 01:06:53,388 --> 01:06:54,765 life, or death... 1450 01:06:54,848 --> 01:06:58,769 is usually not worked out until the very last day. 1451 01:06:58,894 --> 01:07:01,063 - Day 40. - Day 40, it is. 1452 01:07:11,114 --> 01:07:12,282 We are in play. 1453 01:07:12,407 --> 01:07:14,117 Repeat... we are in play. 1454 01:07:14,201 --> 01:07:15,744 Take your position. 1455 01:07:15,827 --> 01:07:18,080 Um, OK. 1456 01:07:18,163 --> 01:07:20,415 I mean, roger. 1457 01:07:22,334 --> 01:07:23,710 The twins went into the woods last night... 1458 01:07:23,794 --> 01:07:25,128 and never came back. 1459 01:07:26,505 --> 01:07:28,882 I wonder where thoseN2 little rascals could be? 1460 01:07:37,182 --> 01:07:38,934 Now that we're in the middle of nowhere... 1461 01:07:39,017 --> 01:07:41,478 aren't you curious to know what it would be like to, uh... 1462 01:07:43,522 --> 01:07:45,274 to look into my eyes? 1463 01:08:14,511 --> 01:08:16,763 There is a place... 1464 01:08:16,847 --> 01:08:19,558 I'm dreaming of. 1465 01:08:19,641 --> 01:08:22,186 My home away from home... 1466 01:08:22,311 --> 01:08:24,605 Camp Bleeding Dove. 1467 01:08:24,688 --> 01:08:25,772 This was not fake. 1468 01:08:25,856 --> 01:08:27,649 This was not fun. 1469 01:08:27,733 --> 01:08:29,902 Wichita's hold on the camp was unravelling. 1470 01:08:29,985 --> 01:08:32,487 His hold on himself was unravelling. 1471 01:08:32,571 --> 01:08:34,198 It was all unravelling. 1472 01:08:34,281 --> 01:08:35,616 Eve, can you hear me, sweetie? 1473 01:08:35,699 --> 01:08:37,284 It's going to be OK. 1474 01:08:37,367 --> 01:08:39,912 White pills, green pills, yellow pills... 1475 01:08:40,037 --> 01:08:42,080 swept into my faithful thermos. 1476 01:08:42,164 --> 01:08:44,833 Wichita deserved something stronger than caffeine. 1477 01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:46,502 Maybe I was overreacting... 1478 01:08:46,585 --> 01:08:49,713 but isn't that what summer love is all about? 1479 01:08:49,796 --> 01:08:51,006 I'm just going to sit you up right here. 1480 01:08:51,089 --> 01:08:52,382 Oh, OK. That's good, that's good. 1481 01:08:54,092 --> 01:08:55,886 What's wrong with you? 1482 01:08:55,969 --> 01:08:57,763 Just standing there? 1483 01:08:57,846 --> 01:08:58,931 Wake up! 1484 01:09:06,813 --> 01:09:08,482 Stop, campers, please! 1485 01:09:08,565 --> 01:09:10,567 Aw, come on. Stop it. 1486 01:09:10,651 --> 01:09:13,195 A food fight's not very original. Come on. 1487 01:09:15,447 --> 01:09:17,991 Oh, man, don't just stand there and take it. 1488 01:09:18,116 --> 01:09:19,993 Do something about it. 1489 01:09:20,077 --> 01:09:21,703 I saw that, Sammy! I saw that! 1490 01:09:21,787 --> 01:09:23,455 Stop it! 1491 01:09:23,539 --> 01:09:24,873 Hey, hey. 1492 01:09:24,957 --> 01:09:27,417 Did you guys just see what happened to Eve? 1493 01:09:27,543 --> 01:09:28,710 She... she could've died. 1494 01:09:28,794 --> 01:09:30,546 Oh, come on. How many packs of gum... 1495 01:09:30,629 --> 01:09:31,588 did you bribe her with, man? 1496 01:09:31,672 --> 01:09:33,257 Look, karate kid, 1497 01:09:33,340 --> 01:09:35,884 haven't any of you bastards seen that we're losing control? 1498 01:09:35,968 --> 01:09:38,136 No, Wichita, you've lost control. 1499 01:09:38,220 --> 01:09:40,305 I mean, you know, just because you and Wendy... 1500 01:09:40,389 --> 01:09:41,765 have gone up in flames... 1501 01:09:41,849 --> 01:09:43,642 doesn't mean that you can get all... oh, my... 1502 01:09:43,725 --> 01:09:44,685 - Wow. - Whoa. 1503 01:09:44,768 --> 01:09:45,769 Stop it! 1504 01:09:46,937 --> 01:09:48,564 Come. 1505 01:09:48,647 --> 01:09:50,148 You're wasting food. 1506 01:09:50,232 --> 01:09:52,526 Put it down! Put the... Eat it. 1507 01:09:52,609 --> 01:09:53,861 Eat the... Not him. 1508 01:09:53,944 --> 01:09:56,238 Hey, hey. Wait. Where you going? 1509 01:09:56,321 --> 01:09:58,448 Where are they going? What's with the sweatshirt? 1510 01:09:58,532 --> 01:10:00,367 Last day of camp, Daffy. 1511 01:10:00,450 --> 01:10:01,910 Time for tender good-byes. 1512 01:10:01,994 --> 01:10:04,121 Very tender good-byes, you dig me? 1513 01:10:04,204 --> 01:10:05,706 Can you cover for us? 1514 01:10:05,789 --> 01:10:08,959 Cover for you? I have a riot going on here. 1515 01:10:10,002 --> 01:10:11,712 All right! The hand goes up! 1516 01:10:11,795 --> 01:10:14,006 The mouth goes shut! 1517 01:10:14,089 --> 01:10:15,424 All right, listen up. 1518 01:10:15,507 --> 01:10:17,384 Cut it out, or there's no dance tonight. 1519 01:10:18,802 --> 01:10:19,803 Move it! 1520 01:10:27,978 --> 01:10:29,730 Well, Jasper... 1521 01:10:29,813 --> 01:10:32,065 my one and only homosexual friend... 1522 01:10:33,150 --> 01:10:35,402 Iooks like it's just you and me, pal. 1523 01:10:36,445 --> 01:10:39,448 And Charlie the cook. 1524 01:10:39,531 --> 01:10:40,741 He's the only thing on the menu... 1525 01:10:40,824 --> 01:10:41,909 I'm allowed to eat. 1526 01:10:41,992 --> 01:10:43,076 Ouch. 1527 01:10:46,496 --> 01:10:47,372 Come on, Charlie. 1528 01:10:47,456 --> 01:10:49,791 Oh, go on, girlfriend. 1529 01:10:50,584 --> 01:10:52,628 Ahh, our last day at camp. 1530 01:10:52,669 --> 01:10:54,755 I always knew it would be something special. 1531 01:10:54,838 --> 01:10:56,089 What do you want me to say? 1532 01:10:56,173 --> 01:10:57,549 Something more interesting than that... 1533 01:10:57,633 --> 01:10:58,800 you piece of shit. 1534 01:10:58,884 --> 01:11:00,802 Look, I overheard you and Pixel... 1535 01:11:00,886 --> 01:11:02,054 outside the mess hall. 1536 01:11:03,180 --> 01:11:05,349 I failed your little test on purpose. 1537 01:11:07,726 --> 01:11:09,061 You don't believe me? 1538 01:11:09,144 --> 01:11:10,229 I don't know. 1539 01:11:17,778 --> 01:11:19,821 Of courseNI believe you, Wichita. 1540 01:11:19,905 --> 01:11:22,282 I no longer desired to make Wichita die. 1541 01:11:22,407 --> 01:11:24,618 Instead, I was going to make him feel... 1542 01:11:24,701 --> 01:11:27,246 even if it was the last thing I'd ever do. 1543 01:11:27,329 --> 01:11:28,330 When I first met you... 1544 01:11:28,455 --> 01:11:30,165 I thought you were such a weirdo. 1545 01:11:30,249 --> 01:11:31,792 I still think you're a nut. 1546 01:11:34,253 --> 01:11:36,171 But now you're my nut. 1547 01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:37,840 Are we going to do it or what? 1548 01:11:37,923 --> 01:11:39,675 Because I still haven't packed. 1549 01:11:39,758 --> 01:11:41,093 Why are you being so grouchy? 1550 01:11:41,176 --> 01:11:42,886 This is an important time for us, Pixel. 1551 01:11:42,970 --> 01:11:45,097 We've started something really special. 1552 01:11:45,180 --> 01:11:47,933 Adam, we had a physical relationship... 1553 01:11:48,016 --> 01:11:49,393 that served a purpose... 1554 01:11:49,476 --> 01:11:50,477 and now it's... 1555 01:11:51,979 --> 01:11:54,606 That... that was before we started sharing things... 1556 01:11:54,690 --> 01:11:57,234 before I told you about howNI helped that bed-wetter... 1557 01:11:57,359 --> 01:11:58,861 change his sleeping patterns. 1558 01:11:58,944 --> 01:12:00,904 And... and how I... 1559 01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:02,155 l... l... I cried... 1560 01:12:03,448 --> 01:12:04,825 when Peepers died. 1561 01:12:06,577 --> 01:12:08,787 I never told that to anyone before. 1562 01:12:08,871 --> 01:12:11,748 And this Peepers was your dog? 1563 01:12:12,833 --> 01:12:14,001 You know, for what it's worth... 1564 01:12:14,084 --> 01:12:16,003 I probably wasn't paying any attention. 1565 01:12:16,086 --> 01:12:18,005 Why are you being like this?! 1566 01:12:47,868 --> 01:12:49,912 There he goes. Come on. Let's go. 1567 01:12:49,995 --> 01:12:50,996 Wait up. 1568 01:12:52,372 --> 01:12:53,540 Die! Die! 1569 01:13:17,898 --> 01:13:20,025 The other counsellors had abandoned me... 1570 01:13:20,108 --> 01:13:21,777 to have their deep and meaningful... 1571 01:13:21,860 --> 01:13:23,820 adult romantic trysts. 1572 01:13:23,904 --> 01:13:25,072 I don't want to sound bitter... 1573 01:13:25,197 --> 01:13:26,573 but the campers and I... 1574 01:13:26,657 --> 01:13:28,700 we were going to bring them back down to earth. 1575 01:13:28,784 --> 01:13:29,910 Oh, yes. 1576 01:13:29,993 --> 01:13:32,913 The camp's almighty supply of condoms... 1577 01:13:32,996 --> 01:13:35,541 were about to be put to a different use. 1578 01:13:35,624 --> 01:13:37,417 Bleeding Dove was about to get... 1579 01:13:37,501 --> 01:13:39,127 the cold shower it needed. 1580 01:13:40,254 --> 01:13:42,089 All the magazine polls say... 1581 01:13:42,172 --> 01:13:44,716 that the trait most looked for in a lover... 1582 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,426 is a sense of humour. 1583 01:13:50,430 --> 01:13:52,891 Now, that's funny. 1584 01:13:52,975 --> 01:13:55,310 Because I am the most hilarious... 1585 01:13:55,394 --> 01:13:57,312 fucking guy in the world... 1586 01:13:57,396 --> 01:14:00,524 and I have yet to touch a single human breast. 1587 01:14:00,607 --> 01:14:03,151 Ah, but I digress. 1588 01:14:03,235 --> 01:14:05,112 Let's... let's do this attack. 1589 01:14:05,195 --> 01:14:06,780 For all of us who have ever been told... 1590 01:14:06,864 --> 01:14:08,031 "Uh, could you wait here... 1591 01:14:08,156 --> 01:14:09,741 while the rest of us go have naked fun?" 1592 01:14:09,825 --> 01:14:12,119 Yeah. For all of us who have ever been told... 1593 01:14:12,202 --> 01:14:13,745 "Oh, I'm sorry. 1594 01:14:13,829 --> 01:14:15,914 "You're just too young and uncool to understand. 1595 01:14:15,998 --> 01:14:17,040 You don't get it." 1596 01:14:17,124 --> 01:14:18,667 Let's do this attack... 1597 01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:21,086 because it's not like we have anything better to do. 1598 01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:22,754 Are you with me? 1599 01:14:22,838 --> 01:14:25,215 Yeah! 1600 01:14:25,299 --> 01:14:26,592 Are you with me? 1601 01:14:26,675 --> 01:14:28,010 Yeah! 1602 01:14:28,093 --> 01:14:30,929 Are you with me? 1603 01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:44,401 Wichita... 1604 01:14:45,903 --> 01:14:46,737 I brought you out here to tell you... 1605 01:14:46,820 --> 01:14:47,988 I'm fucked up... 1606 01:14:48,071 --> 01:14:50,240 and I don't want to be cured. 1607 01:14:50,324 --> 01:14:53,243 It's what makes me a better counsellor. 1608 01:14:53,327 --> 01:14:55,746 See, because I tell these kids how it is. 1609 01:14:55,829 --> 01:14:57,039 If you met yourself as a kid... 1610 01:14:57,122 --> 01:14:58,624 would you go up to her and would you say... 1611 01:14:58,707 --> 01:15:01,376 "Howdy, pouty. Everything's gonna be OK"? 1612 01:15:01,460 --> 01:15:03,170 Yes! My God, yes! 1613 01:15:03,253 --> 01:15:04,546 I would tell her that I love her... 1614 01:15:04,630 --> 01:15:06,507 and not to let anyone take away her dreams. 1615 01:15:06,590 --> 01:15:07,966 Pretty soon, we're going to be adults... 1616 01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:09,968 and all we're allowed to talk about are groceries. 1617 01:15:10,052 --> 01:15:11,512 We challenged each other. 1618 01:15:11,595 --> 01:15:14,348 We created ideas. We're 2 very different people... 1619 01:15:14,431 --> 01:15:15,599 who formed a circle with their souls. 1620 01:15:15,724 --> 01:15:17,601 Shut the fuck up! 1621 01:15:17,684 --> 01:15:18,769 What do you want me to do? 1622 01:15:18,852 --> 01:15:20,020 Do you want me to tell you... 1623 01:15:20,103 --> 01:15:21,271 that I was locked in a fucking closet... 1624 01:15:21,355 --> 01:15:23,357 half my life or that my parents kicked... 1625 01:15:23,440 --> 01:15:24,942 Don't get Breakfast Club on me, bitch! 1626 01:15:25,025 --> 01:15:26,276 I'm not interested in your childhood traumas... 1627 01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:27,444 in the back of the book. 1628 01:15:27,528 --> 01:15:31,281 I gave you the ultimate male fantasy... 1629 01:15:31,365 --> 01:15:32,324 sex... 1630 01:15:32,407 --> 01:15:34,326 with nothing on the side. 1631 01:15:34,409 --> 01:15:36,078 Don't pretend that we shared... 1632 01:15:36,161 --> 01:15:37,663 anything other than fluids, Adam. 1633 01:15:37,746 --> 01:15:40,040 Shut your mouth! 1634 01:15:40,123 --> 01:15:41,792 You satanic whore! 1635 01:15:41,875 --> 01:15:44,503 You think... you think you're so... 1636 01:15:44,586 --> 01:15:45,671 but you're just... 1637 01:15:45,754 --> 01:15:46,713 That's it. 1638 01:15:46,797 --> 01:15:48,549 Pretend that this is one of those arcade things... 1639 01:15:48,632 --> 01:15:49,633 that the tighter you squeeze... 1640 01:15:49,716 --> 01:15:51,593 the more of a man you are. 1641 01:15:59,017 --> 01:16:00,519 Aah! 1642 01:16:00,602 --> 01:16:02,145 Aah! 1643 01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:09,611 Aah! 1644 01:16:09,695 --> 01:16:11,655 Spermicidally lubricated! 1645 01:16:13,282 --> 01:16:15,033 Coed camps. 1646 01:16:15,117 --> 01:16:16,994 Anarchy by definition. 1647 01:16:19,955 --> 01:16:22,791 No. They... they needed somebody there... 1648 01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:24,835 during that food fight... 1649 01:16:24,918 --> 01:16:26,086 an adult. 1650 01:16:26,170 --> 01:16:28,630 Nobody tells you how to be an adult. 1651 01:16:28,714 --> 01:16:31,508 You just keep getting older, anyway. 1652 01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:41,393 Is it too much to ask for a little order? 1653 01:16:58,243 --> 01:16:59,328 God! 1654 01:17:07,085 --> 01:17:08,712 You're not as cool as you think you are. 1655 01:17:09,505 --> 01:17:10,756 That's a compliment. 1656 01:17:10,839 --> 01:17:12,883 Nobody really changes at summer camp. 1657 01:17:12,966 --> 01:17:13,967 They just find out who they are... 1658 01:17:14,051 --> 01:17:15,302 and become it more than ever... 1659 01:17:15,385 --> 01:17:17,679 for someone who is capable of love... 1660 01:17:17,763 --> 01:17:20,182 to find out first-hand that love really exists. 1661 01:17:22,059 --> 01:17:24,394 You didn't bring me out here to cure me, did you? 1662 01:17:24,478 --> 01:17:26,063 You brought me out here to punish me. 1663 01:17:28,023 --> 01:17:30,817 I'm not sure that you can be punished, Wichita... 1664 01:17:30,901 --> 01:17:32,444 but let's find out. 1665 01:17:32,528 --> 01:17:35,030 Call it my social experiment of the summer. 1666 01:17:35,113 --> 01:17:36,365 What's in that cup? 1667 01:17:38,158 --> 01:17:39,409 What's in that cup? 1668 01:17:39,493 --> 01:17:40,994 Cheers. 1669 01:17:41,078 --> 01:17:42,079 Uhh! 1670 01:17:44,414 --> 01:17:45,582 Aw, Todd, man... 1671 01:17:45,666 --> 01:17:46,416 Iooks like we found something... 1672 01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:47,584 you totally suck at. 1673 01:17:47,709 --> 01:17:48,710 High 5. 1674 01:17:48,794 --> 01:17:50,212 Don't touch me. 1675 01:17:51,922 --> 01:17:53,090 Fire! 1676 01:18:59,823 --> 01:19:01,074 Why did you wait... 1677 01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:02,743 until the last day of camp... 1678 01:19:02,826 --> 01:19:03,911 to tell me that you... 1679 01:19:03,994 --> 01:19:04,995 like me? 1680 01:19:05,078 --> 01:19:06,747 I will learn... 1681 01:19:06,830 --> 01:19:08,957 the true meaning of responsibility... 1682 01:19:09,041 --> 01:19:10,584 while creating memories... 1683 01:19:10,667 --> 01:19:11,877 that last a lifetime. 1684 01:20:02,886 --> 01:20:05,180 Rise. Shine. 1685 01:20:06,306 --> 01:20:07,641 Now! 1686 01:20:16,441 --> 01:20:17,860 I'm sorry. 1687 01:20:19,152 --> 01:20:22,281 It's just... it seems silly... 1688 01:20:22,364 --> 01:20:24,116 kissing a girl. 1689 01:20:25,409 --> 01:20:27,035 Clever observation. 1690 01:20:28,745 --> 01:20:30,163 Go back to Wichita. 1691 01:20:31,456 --> 01:20:33,917 Oh, that's right. You can't. 1692 01:20:40,966 --> 01:20:42,384 Sorry. 1693 01:20:42,467 --> 01:20:44,553 This isn't the way it was supposed to be. 1694 01:20:46,221 --> 01:20:47,639 I was supposed to be writing a children's book... 1695 01:20:47,723 --> 01:20:50,726 using input from all of the campers. 1696 01:20:52,936 --> 01:20:54,938 I don't even like smoking. 1697 01:20:55,022 --> 01:20:57,149 You know, one day, they'll find a cure for AIDS... 1698 01:20:57,232 --> 01:20:59,484 but they'll never find one for sex. 1699 01:20:59,568 --> 01:21:01,069 It's kind of funny, you know? 1700 01:21:01,153 --> 01:21:04,531 I mean, most stories with a bunch of camp counsellors... 1701 01:21:04,615 --> 01:21:06,366 have some serial psycho... 1702 01:21:06,450 --> 01:21:09,286 who systematically butchers everyone one by one. 1703 01:21:09,369 --> 01:21:10,370 Yeah. 1704 01:21:12,956 --> 01:21:13,957 And? 1705 01:21:14,041 --> 01:21:16,043 I don't know, it's kind of funny. I mean... 1706 01:21:17,336 --> 01:21:19,588 who needs a serial psycho with a chain saw... 1707 01:21:19,671 --> 01:21:21,256 when we have ourselves? 1708 01:21:29,223 --> 01:21:32,059 Wichita and I were a dream come true... 1709 01:21:32,142 --> 01:21:34,770 but, you know, we have a lot more dreams left. 1710 01:21:34,853 --> 01:21:36,146 I mean, really... 1711 01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:37,564 who wantsN"Happily ever after..." 1712 01:21:37,648 --> 01:21:39,399 when you're 19? 1713 01:21:40,275 --> 01:21:42,486 Before you can be the love of someone's life... 1714 01:21:42,569 --> 01:21:44,905 you have to have a life first. 1715 01:21:54,456 --> 01:21:55,624 Hey, dude, Wichita, man... 1716 01:21:55,707 --> 01:21:56,792 I've been looking all over for you. 1717 01:21:56,875 --> 01:21:57,835 I don't know how to thank you, man. 1718 01:21:57,918 --> 01:21:59,002 Wes... 1719 01:21:59,878 --> 01:22:01,046 you can't be like me. 1720 01:22:01,171 --> 01:22:03,090 You have to believe in something, buddy. 1721 01:22:03,173 --> 01:22:04,341 Look, I don't know what... 1722 01:22:04,466 --> 01:22:07,511 but I'm not the guy you think I am. 1723 01:22:07,594 --> 01:22:09,304 Of course you are, man. You're, like... you know... 1724 01:22:09,388 --> 01:22:11,515 you're, like, the best counsellor ever. 1725 01:22:11,598 --> 01:22:12,641 You rock. 1726 01:22:13,725 --> 01:22:15,727 No! I don't want to go home! 1727 01:22:15,811 --> 01:22:17,771 Let me stay at camp, please! 1728 01:22:17,855 --> 01:22:19,565 I don't want to leave! 1729 01:22:19,648 --> 01:22:22,067 This is fun! I love camp! 1730 01:22:22,150 --> 01:22:25,279 Please let me stay! Please! 1731 01:22:25,362 --> 01:22:28,490 I'm gay. Like you didn't know. 1732 01:22:28,574 --> 01:22:31,034 Rick, you're not gay. You're 12. 1733 01:22:31,118 --> 01:22:32,744 You shouldn't even be having thoughts like that. 1734 01:22:32,828 --> 01:22:33,996 You mean you didn't have any gay thoughts... 1735 01:22:34,079 --> 01:22:35,414 when you were my age? 1736 01:22:36,582 --> 01:22:37,749 Just promise me you're not going to do anything... 1737 01:22:37,833 --> 01:22:38,959 until you're 18, OK? 1738 01:22:39,042 --> 01:22:40,210 OK. 1739 01:22:41,378 --> 01:22:43,005 Have a good summer. 1740 01:22:43,755 --> 01:22:45,507 Did you wait until you were 18? 1741 01:22:46,592 --> 01:22:48,260 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1742 01:22:48,343 --> 01:22:49,845 I'll bet you're glad I waited... 1743 01:22:49,928 --> 01:22:51,680 till the last day of camp to have this conversation. 1744 01:22:51,763 --> 01:22:55,267 You have no idea. Run away. 1745 01:22:55,350 --> 01:22:56,518 This is such a drag. 1746 01:22:56,643 --> 01:22:58,061 I want a favourite camper, too. 1747 01:22:58,145 --> 01:23:01,565 Hey, back off, bitch. She's mine. 1748 01:23:01,648 --> 01:23:03,734 You guys have been so colossal. 1749 01:23:03,817 --> 01:23:05,402 Now, don't forget, kid, all right? 1750 01:23:05,485 --> 01:23:07,613 OBs. They're created by a female gynaecologist. 1751 01:23:07,696 --> 01:23:10,073 Yeah, an insane female gynaecologist. 1752 01:23:10,199 --> 01:23:11,909 Hayley, don't listen to her. 1753 01:23:11,992 --> 01:23:13,744 All right, they're the easiest to shop-lift... 1754 01:23:13,827 --> 01:23:15,704 you know, but no woman should be expected... 1755 01:23:15,787 --> 01:23:17,247 to pay for something forced on her... 1756 01:23:17,331 --> 01:23:19,458 without a choice by nature. 1757 01:23:19,541 --> 01:23:21,752 I think we need a group hug. 1758 01:23:21,835 --> 01:23:23,629 Mmm, mmm. 1759 01:23:32,429 --> 01:23:33,430 Stop it! 1760 01:23:33,514 --> 01:23:34,515 - Ah, there she is. - No. 1761 01:23:34,598 --> 01:23:35,682 Seriously. That's enough. 1762 01:23:35,766 --> 01:23:36,767 Work with it. 1763 01:23:39,353 --> 01:23:40,354 Well... 1764 01:23:41,188 --> 01:23:42,189 Hey. 1765 01:23:44,024 --> 01:23:46,568 Summer would've been a lot less without you, Donald. 1766 01:23:47,819 --> 01:23:48,904 You're a true friend. 1767 01:23:50,614 --> 01:23:52,699 Thank you. Thank you. 1768 01:23:52,783 --> 01:23:54,409 Um... 1769 01:23:54,493 --> 01:23:56,787 Was there ever a night that I got really drunk... 1770 01:23:56,870 --> 01:23:58,705 and declared that... 1771 01:23:58,789 --> 01:24:01,166 I could never love anyone the way I love you? 1772 01:24:01,291 --> 01:24:02,543 No. 1773 01:24:02,626 --> 01:24:04,127 That's good... 1774 01:24:04,211 --> 01:24:06,588 because I wouldn't want to embarrass myself. 1775 01:24:54,011 --> 01:24:55,345 I don't want to go home! 1776 01:24:55,429 --> 01:24:57,389 Let me stay here! I love camp! 1777 01:24:57,472 --> 01:24:58,974 Camp is so fun! 1778 01:24:59,057 --> 01:25:00,601 Do you hear me? 1779 01:25:00,684 --> 01:25:02,311 I don't want to... 1780 01:25:05,731 --> 01:25:06,982 Wait! 1781 01:25:12,988 --> 01:25:15,949 Another day, another dollar. 1782 01:25:16,033 --> 01:25:17,075 Literally. 1783 01:25:17,159 --> 01:25:18,327 Come on. We didn't do it for the money. 1784 01:25:18,452 --> 01:25:21,246 No. We did it for... we did it for... 1785 01:25:21,330 --> 01:25:22,456 Yeah? 1786 01:25:22,539 --> 01:25:24,416 I don't know. I don't know why. 1787 01:25:24,499 --> 01:25:26,168 - Daffy. - What's up? 1788 01:25:26,251 --> 01:25:27,920 That was the summer of my life, man. 1789 01:25:28,879 --> 01:25:30,756 I'll remember you most of all, dude. 1790 01:25:30,839 --> 01:25:33,634 Um, Craig, thank you. God, that's... 1791 01:25:33,717 --> 01:25:35,344 I don't know what to say. That's very sweet. 1792 01:25:35,427 --> 01:25:37,387 Oh, man, I so got you. 1793 01:25:38,639 --> 01:25:40,641 Oh. Oh. 1794 01:25:40,724 --> 01:25:42,434 Oh, you think that's funny, huh? 1795 01:25:42,518 --> 01:25:44,311 Oh, yeah? Come on. 1796 01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:46,522 You like that, huh? Ooh. 1797 01:26:03,038 --> 01:26:04,206 Here's where we tell you... 1798 01:26:04,289 --> 01:26:06,625 that this was the summer we lost our innocence. 1799 01:26:06,708 --> 01:26:09,211 But really it's the summer we got it back. 1800 01:26:09,294 --> 01:26:12,422 Excuse the cheese, but love matters... 1801 01:26:12,506 --> 01:26:13,882 respect matters... 1802 01:26:13,966 --> 01:26:16,301 and causing pain is never cool. 1803 01:26:16,385 --> 01:26:18,595 Actually, causing pain... 1804 01:26:18,679 --> 01:26:20,264 is about the coolest thing you can do... 1805 01:26:20,347 --> 01:26:22,724 but coolness isn't what it used to be. 1806 01:26:26,395 --> 01:26:29,982 Hey, driver, could you stop the bus, please? 1807 01:26:30,065 --> 01:26:31,149 Whoa. 1808 01:26:31,233 --> 01:26:33,610 That's good. No, no. Now, I'm sorry. 1809 01:26:33,735 --> 01:26:36,613 I refuse to go out with this doom and gloom attitude. 1810 01:26:36,697 --> 01:26:39,908 I'm getting a picture from you complex individuals. 1811 01:26:39,992 --> 01:26:41,493 Come on, now. Let's... Let's get a kid in there. 1812 01:26:53,922 --> 01:26:55,257 All right. 1813 01:26:55,340 --> 01:26:56,717 Aw. Stop pretending... 1814 01:26:56,800 --> 01:26:58,427 like you didn't have any good times. 1815 01:26:58,510 --> 01:27:00,846 Life sucks... in a good way. 1816 01:27:00,929 --> 01:27:03,098 Falling in love, falling in hate... 1817 01:27:03,182 --> 01:27:04,600 getting laid, getting hurt... 1818 01:27:04,683 --> 01:27:05,893 what's one without the other? 1819 01:27:05,976 --> 01:27:07,853 When it comes to the ritual of growing up... 1820 01:27:07,936 --> 01:27:09,897 sometimes you smile because you're happy. 1821 01:27:09,980 --> 01:27:13,275 Other times, you smile just because you've survived. 1822 01:27:13,358 --> 01:27:14,693 There we go. Yeah. 1823 01:27:14,776 --> 01:27:16,778 But hey, a smile is a smile. 127701

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