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1
00:00:00,688 --> 00:00:03,132
Hey, Jake, I'm back from the framers.
2
00:00:03,157 --> 00:00:05,879
I can't wait to get this
thing hung up on the wall.
3
00:00:05,904 --> 00:00:08,641
Well, you won't have to
wait long, little lady.
4
00:00:09,535 --> 00:00:13,946
There's a new sheriff in town,
and that frame is about to hang.
5
00:00:15,422 --> 00:00:18,088
Mm. Ah, ah, ah.
6
00:00:20,305 --> 00:00:22,210
Are you sure that you're the sheriff?
7
00:00:22,235 --> 00:00:24,202
Can I see your badge?
8
00:00:24,730 --> 00:00:26,571
Well, you're gonna have to
wait about five minutes.
9
00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:28,069
I was just upstairs polishing it.
10
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:31,490
Okay, guys, hi. Hi, guys. Um...
11
00:00:31,828 --> 00:00:33,915
Before you get too deep
into your cowboy role-play,
12
00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:35,186
I just wanted to let you
know I'm in the room.
13
00:00:35,211 --> 00:00:36,178
Oh, no, it's...
14
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,413
You can stay, Cooper.
15
00:00:38,063 --> 00:00:40,643
Well, I guess I do live here rent-free.
16
00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:43,248
Give me one second, I'll go
upstairs, get my cowboy hat.
17
00:00:43,273 --> 00:00:45,773
- No, no, no, no. No.
- What? What? No. No. No.
18
00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:47,710
Ha-ha. He means we're actually
hanging a photo. See?
19
00:00:47,735 --> 00:00:48,739
What? Oh.
20
00:00:48,764 --> 00:00:49,729
It's from our wedding.
21
00:00:49,754 --> 00:00:50,866
- Aw.
- Yeah.
22
00:00:50,891 --> 00:00:52,397
You were so emotional.
23
00:00:52,422 --> 00:00:54,160
And, Claire, you look gorgeous.
24
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:57,585
Step aside, Jake.
25
00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:59,806
Your mother-in-law is here
to teach you how to screw.
26
00:01:00,946 --> 00:01:03,378
Say something, Gerald. I made it weird.
27
00:01:03,403 --> 00:01:04,348
Uh...
28
00:01:04,373 --> 00:01:08,065
Make way. Daddy's big
drill is coming through.
29
00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:12,437
I made it worse.
30
00:01:14,343 --> 00:01:15,476
Uh, Claire, what are your parents
31
00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:17,115
doing in our house again?
32
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,826
Oh. I-I just mentioned to them
that we were hanging a picture,
33
00:01:19,851 --> 00:01:21,200
and they came over to help.
34
00:01:21,225 --> 00:01:23,732
But I spent my whole morning
learning how to do this.
35
00:01:23,757 --> 00:01:26,610
I started off googling "well
hung pictures," and...
36
00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:29,832
let's just say my confidence
could use a boost.
37
00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:32,841
It's all good, Jake. We got it.
38
00:01:32,866 --> 00:01:34,734
Already got my stud finder out.
39
00:01:34,759 --> 00:01:36,429
Beep. Beep, beep, beep. Uh-oh.
40
00:01:36,454 --> 00:01:37,983
It looks like he found one.
41
00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:39,610
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
42
00:01:39,635 --> 00:01:41,435
Beep, beep, beep... wow!
43
00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:44,251
Ha, ha.
44
00:01:44,276 --> 00:01:46,192
Picture hung.
45
00:01:46,217 --> 00:01:47,920
Construction work is hard.
Feels like we earned ourselves
46
00:01:47,945 --> 00:01:49,153
a couple cold ones.
47
00:01:49,178 --> 00:01:51,412
Already got 'em chilling
in my purse, baby.
48
00:01:51,437 --> 00:01:53,695
Yeah.
49
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,272
- Bye.
- Bye. Thank you.
50
00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:56,913
- Bye.
- Mm.
51
00:01:56,938 --> 00:01:57,717
Bye.
52
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,653
Man, I love living with you guys.
53
00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:01,368
It's so nice to be with a
family of young adults
54
00:02:01,393 --> 00:02:03,226
who aren't too proud to
let the older generation
55
00:02:03,251 --> 00:02:05,279
do everything for 'em.
56
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:10,184
Claire, did you hear that?
57
00:02:10,378 --> 00:02:12,512
Yeah. He called us young.
58
00:02:13,553 --> 00:02:16,952
No, I'm talking about your
parents doing everything for us.
59
00:02:16,977 --> 00:02:19,364
Cooper's right. I mean,
look at our wedding photo.
60
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,397
They chose the venue, the
flowers, your mom deejayed.
61
00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:26,005
The only thing I got to choose was you.
62
00:02:26,592 --> 00:02:28,405
- Aw.
- Mm-mm, Claire,
63
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:31,011
don't get lost in my buttery sweetness.
I'm upset.
64
00:02:32,097 --> 00:02:33,597
Come on, you know how my parents are.
65
00:02:33,622 --> 00:02:36,318
They love to do stuff for me
'cause I'm their pride and joy.
66
00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:38,984
Also, they're afraid that I'm
gonna put them in a home.
67
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,604
Well, now that they're
retired, it's like
68
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,418
they took all their
energy from being doctors
69
00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,576
and focused it entirely on us.
70
00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:50,321
Well, us and drinking.
71
00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:54,398
Well, us and drinking and
denying climate change.
72
00:03:09,644 --> 00:03:15,874
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
73
00:03:20,124 --> 00:03:21,513
Hey.
74
00:03:22,457 --> 00:03:24,224
As soon as I got your
text about being sick,
75
00:03:24,249 --> 00:03:27,147
I went straight to CVS to pick
up a little Claire-package.
76
00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:31,801
Uh, we've got DayQuil, uh, VapoRub,
77
00:03:31,826 --> 00:03:33,825
and both Imodium and Ex-Lax,
78
00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,713
depending on the direction of traffic.
79
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:38,955
Thanks. Uh, but what about work?
80
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,877
Ah, they're having a diversity
seminar, and I want them all
81
00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:42,503
to sweat when they see I'm not there.
82
00:03:45,127 --> 00:03:46,801
I'm just so happy you called me first,
83
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,277
- and not your parents...
- That'll be all, Nurse Davis.
84
00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:51,746
Mom and Dad are scrubbing in.
85
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,168
What are they doing here?
86
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,583
I swear, I didn't call them.
87
00:03:56,608 --> 00:04:00,365
They came by to fix the garden
hose so they could wash my car,
88
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:01,731
and then, I don't know,
89
00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:03,874
they just, they just heard me sneezing.
90
00:04:05,606 --> 00:04:07,563
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
91
00:04:07,588 --> 00:04:09,616
No, this is different,
because I am sick,
92
00:04:09,641 --> 00:04:10,981
and they're doctors.
93
00:04:11,495 --> 00:04:14,894
And plus, I don't like you
seeing me when I'm all gross.
94
00:04:16,658 --> 00:04:19,212
Claire-bear, two months into
dating, you got so wasted
95
00:04:19,237 --> 00:04:22,073
at a frat party, you threw
up a whole hot dog.
96
00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:25,798
Sure, I had questions,
97
00:04:27,192 --> 00:04:29,583
but I still thought you were
the hottest girl in the world.
98
00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:32,634
Man, if I had kept it down, I
would've won that contest.
99
00:04:37,181 --> 00:04:40,709
My point is, eventually, we're
gonna have kids, right?
100
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:43,172
And when we do, I want to
be the one you rely on.
101
00:04:43,655 --> 00:04:45,588
Please let me prove I
can take care of you.
102
00:04:45,613 --> 00:04:48,191
Aw. Well, that's really sweet.
103
00:04:48,545 --> 00:04:52,392
Okay. Uh, hey, uh, Mom, Dad?
You guys can go.
104
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,930
Uh, Jake's gonna take care of me.
105
00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:08,179
Oh, my gosh. She's serious.
106
00:05:09,404 --> 00:05:11,705
Jake, I-I don't want to
question your manhood
107
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:13,726
- in front of your wife, so...
- Thank you.
108
00:05:13,751 --> 00:05:15,331
Can we do this in the kitchen instead?
109
00:05:19,138 --> 00:05:20,765
All right, look, I know
you guys are nervous,
110
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:23,303
but I've taken care of Claire
when she's sick. All right?
111
00:05:23,328 --> 00:05:25,273
Okay. Just so you know,
when Claire is sick,
112
00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:26,755
she needs a ton of blankets...
113
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:27,835
- Blankets. Yeah, yeah.
- On... okay. Oh.
114
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:28,833
I got her covered.
115
00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:29,779
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
116
00:05:29,804 --> 00:05:31,184
Well, she also needs a
steady rotation of her
117
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:33,469
- favorite movies. Mm-hmm.
- Favorite movies. Yes, I got it.
118
00:05:33,494 --> 00:05:35,670
Now, do you guys have any
actual medical advice?
119
00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,463
Hold it. What about my famous
Kung Pao lettuce wraps?
120
00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:40,920
You don't know about those, do you?
Yeah.
121
00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:42,791
Little Eastern medicine
secret I picked up
122
00:05:42,816 --> 00:05:44,288
while I was living in Beijing.
123
00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:45,838
Yeah, as a wise village elder
124
00:05:45,863 --> 00:05:47,974
once said to me...
125
00:05:49,077 --> 00:05:51,472
Ni hao.
126
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,562
Well, as a wise village
elder once said to me...
127
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,852
get the hell out of my house.
128
00:06:11,406 --> 00:06:13,156
All right, my little petri dish.
129
00:06:14,764 --> 00:06:17,280
I got a hot towel to help
open up your sinuses.
130
00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:19,970
Here you go, my little baby boo... ew!
131
00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,954
Oh, man.
132
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:24,622
Ugh.
133
00:06:25,377 --> 00:06:27,220
Why are you just staring
at the ceiling?
134
00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:29,506
'Cause you look like E.T.
when he started getting ashy.
135
00:06:33,904 --> 00:06:36,972
But I love you, and I'm gonna
help you get through this.
136
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,465
So here's a towel for your face.
Wear it as long as you'd like.
137
00:06:44,498 --> 00:06:46,513
Ooh. Thanks, baby.
138
00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:47,890
You're welcome.
139
00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:49,900
Aw...
140
00:06:49,925 --> 00:06:51,782
That was kind of cute.
141
00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:53,006
A little dab for you.
142
00:06:55,419 --> 00:06:57,132
Come on!
143
00:06:58,010 --> 00:06:59,409
Ugh.
144
00:07:00,405 --> 00:07:01,975
Oh, my God, Jake.
145
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,069
These lettuce wraps are incredible.
146
00:07:04,405 --> 00:07:06,655
- I might write a song about them.
- Really?
147
00:07:06,873 --> 00:07:09,163
Nah. I mostly write songs about butts.
148
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,334
Claire, can I make you a plate?
149
00:07:12,359 --> 00:07:13,249
Oh, not right now.
150
00:07:13,274 --> 00:07:15,262
This cough medicine's
giving me a nice buzz,
151
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:17,021
and I don't want to mess that up.
152
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,304
Well, how about another movie?
153
00:07:19,901 --> 00:07:21,041
Hey, uh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
154
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,416
What are you guys doing here?
155
00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:24,305
I said I have everything under control.
156
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:26,521
You have snot in your eyebrow.
157
00:07:29,954 --> 00:07:32,658
We respected your wishes
as long as we could,
158
00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,950
but now we are here to
relieve you of your duties.
159
00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:36,358
That's right. We appreciate
all your efforts
160
00:07:36,383 --> 00:07:37,874
and so on and so forth,
161
00:07:37,899 --> 00:07:40,472
- blah, blah, blah.
- Okay. Dad, stop.
162
00:07:40,497 --> 00:07:42,233
No, Jake is doing a great job.
163
00:07:42,258 --> 00:07:44,691
I see all the blankets and the movies.
164
00:07:44,716 --> 00:07:46,198
What about the lettuce wraps?
165
00:07:46,223 --> 00:07:48,028
They're amazing. Try them.
166
00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:51,923
Mm-hmm.
167
00:07:51,948 --> 00:07:53,462
- Yeah.
- Mmm. Wow.
168
00:07:53,826 --> 00:07:55,248
Kid's got moves.
169
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:57,762
- These are actually good.
- Mm-hmm.
170
00:07:57,787 --> 00:08:01,275
As a wise Jake once said,
you're damn right they're good.
171
00:08:03,998 --> 00:08:07,382
Honey, I-I can't believe
I'm saying this,
172
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:09,815
but I think Jake has
everything under control.
173
00:08:09,985 --> 00:08:13,673
I know. Gerald, I don't, I don't
think they need us anymore.
174
00:08:13,698 --> 00:08:14,702
Eh, well, guys,
175
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:16,082
I know it's hard to let
go of your baby, but...
176
00:08:16,107 --> 00:08:18,952
We're free!
177
00:08:19,693 --> 00:08:20,828
Wait, what?
178
00:08:20,853 --> 00:08:22,624
Ugh, we have been living our lives
179
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:25,565
at half buzz just in
case, but Gerald...
180
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,895
now that we're off the hook,
we can finally go crazy,
181
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,905
like, North Florida crazy.
182
00:08:34,441 --> 00:08:36,628
Come on, baby, let's go.
183
00:08:37,485 --> 00:08:39,808
Hey, dude. Take this.
184
00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:45,482
Now that we've got
them out of our hair,
185
00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:49,452
it's just me and my beautiful...
Why do you look like that?
186
00:08:50,777 --> 00:08:52,897
Goodness.
187
00:08:55,977 --> 00:08:58,869
Hey, guys. Man, I don't feel good.
188
00:08:59,203 --> 00:09:01,573
Oh, no, I hope you didn't
catch what I have.
189
00:09:01,598 --> 00:09:03,031
No. I think it's food poisoning.
190
00:09:03,056 --> 00:09:05,357
Oh. That's what those noises were?
191
00:09:05,382 --> 00:09:07,770
I thought you were slowly
deflating a balloon.
192
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,009
Man, I'm sorry, Cooper.
193
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:17,229
Wait, aren't you performing
at the VMAs tonight?
194
00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,724
Yeah. Yeah, I'll just, uh, I'll
just have to power through.
195
00:09:19,749 --> 00:09:21,615
Uh, are you sure that's a good idea?
196
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,539
Ah, it's just, it's just an
upset stomach. I'll be fine.
197
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,498
I mean, all I'm doing is
flying over the audience
198
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:28,381
in a white angel costume,
while performing a cover
199
00:09:28,406 --> 00:09:29,891
of "Drop It Like It's Hot."
200
00:09:30,614 --> 00:09:32,401
Okay, uh...
201
00:09:32,836 --> 00:09:36,705
I think, uh, you got
to stay home, buddy.
202
00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:37,847
Is that even an option? I don't think
203
00:09:37,872 --> 00:09:39,481
I've ever taken a day off work.
204
00:09:39,506 --> 00:09:41,493
Oh, yeah, I guess for rock stars,
205
00:09:41,518 --> 00:09:43,534
a sick day usually just means rehab.
206
00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:51,493
Ugh, so what did you eat today, anyway?
207
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:53,594
The only thing I've had
are Jake's lettuce wraps.
208
00:09:53,619 --> 00:09:54,475
Okay.
209
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,795
Before we start throwing
accusations around
210
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:58,527
that we can't take
back, let me just say,
211
00:09:58,717 --> 00:10:01,351
it wasn't the wraps and
you're a filthy liar.
212
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,559
Yeah... Jake.
213
00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:05,757
It wasn't my wraps. It's not my wraps.
214
00:10:06,922 --> 00:10:09,526
Your parents had them,
and they're fine.
215
00:10:10,015 --> 00:10:11,706
You...
216
00:10:13,838 --> 00:10:17,009
You did this to us with
your lettuce wraps.
217
00:10:17,606 --> 00:10:20,503
They poisoned us in the middle
of our tennis match while...
218
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,976
Oh, I'm so sorry, Gerald. No.
219
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:25,282
- No. No.
- No.
220
00:10:25,307 --> 00:10:27,557
I'm sorry, it's happening.
221
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:38,129
We tried to make it back to
our house, but we couldn't.
222
00:10:39,093 --> 00:10:41,237
Jake, I need you to move my car.
223
00:10:41,262 --> 00:10:43,087
It's the one with the doors open,
224
00:10:43,112 --> 00:10:45,901
still running, parked in your bushes.
225
00:10:55,497 --> 00:10:57,192
That one's out of order.
226
00:11:05,168 --> 00:11:06,434
So, we were just about to beat
227
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:08,557
our old tennis rivals,
The Richardsons...
228
00:11:08,582 --> 00:11:11,176
Oh, we had those cocky S.O.B.s
right where we wanted them.
229
00:11:12,614 --> 00:11:13,981
Set point.
230
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:16,034
Okay, Mom, you're not
on the court anymore.
231
00:11:16,059 --> 00:11:17,574
- Come sit down.
- Oh, no.
232
00:11:17,599 --> 00:11:19,572
I am in a match with
my stomach right now.
233
00:11:20,902 --> 00:11:23,439
Oh, backhand down the line.
234
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,715
No, it hit the net.
235
00:11:28,352 --> 00:11:30,309
Your mom went to serve, then we got hit
236
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:32,559
by the same wave of food poisoning,
237
00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:35,235
all because we let this
guy take care of you.
238
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,732
Okay, hold on, Dad.
239
00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:38,452
We can't blame all this on Jake.
240
00:11:38,477 --> 00:11:40,925
Oh, it had to be those damn wraps.
241
00:11:41,131 --> 00:11:42,664
The only other food we had today
242
00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:46,085
were olives, two celery
sticks and an orange peel.
243
00:11:48,635 --> 00:11:50,644
So just cocktail garnishes.
244
00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:53,972
You guys probably have
alcohol poisoning.
245
00:11:57,357 --> 00:11:58,878
I mean, how can germs even survive
246
00:11:58,903 --> 00:12:00,978
in that duty-free store
you call a stomach?
247
00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:05,215
Then why is Cooper also sick?
248
00:12:05,247 --> 00:12:07,127
Sorry to miss the VMAs, guys,
249
00:12:07,152 --> 00:12:09,356
but, uh, I promise I'll
make it up to you all
250
00:12:09,397 --> 00:12:10,426
when I'm feeling better.
251
00:12:10,451 --> 00:12:12,317
Especially you, Lauren.
252
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,078
Oh, who's Lauren?
253
00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:16,113
Don't know, but, uh,
12,000 girls named Lauren
254
00:12:16,138 --> 00:12:18,111
just swallowed their retainers.
255
00:12:19,762 --> 00:12:21,591
Great job, Jake.
256
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:23,473
We leave you in charge for one day
257
00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:25,114
and you poison the whole family. You...
258
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,261
You're like a villain
from Game of Thrones.
259
00:12:33,257 --> 00:12:35,779
Look, I am telling you, this
is all one big coincidence.
260
00:12:35,804 --> 00:12:37,545
Okay, so, you're telling
me you washed your hands
261
00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:38,822
before you started cooking?
262
00:12:38,847 --> 00:12:40,199
Yes, Gerald.
263
00:12:40,224 --> 00:12:42,371
And you cooked the chicken all the way?
264
00:12:42,396 --> 00:12:44,067
Yes, Bonnie.
265
00:12:45,309 --> 00:12:46,930
And did you wash the lettuce?
266
00:12:46,955 --> 00:12:48,243
Y...
267
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,885
Did I wash the lettuce?
268
00:12:54,352 --> 00:12:57,039
Did I wash the lettuce?
269
00:12:57,546 --> 00:13:00,784
Did I wash the lettuce?
270
00:13:01,944 --> 00:13:03,597
Of course, Gerald. Of course.
271
00:13:03,622 --> 00:13:05,190
What, do you think I thought the
grocery store washed it already
272
00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:06,607
with the little mist thing?
273
00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:08,314
Is that what you think I thought?
274
00:13:20,722 --> 00:13:22,186
Is that what you thought?
275
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,996
No, that is not what I thought.
276
00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:28,784
Only an idiot would think
misting is washing.
277
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,727
Misting is not washing, which I know
278
00:13:31,752 --> 00:13:34,256
because I am not an idiot.
279
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,281
Okay, fine.
280
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:37,597
Eat one.
281
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:47,551
A good chef never eats his own food.
282
00:13:48,184 --> 00:13:49,898
Eat the wrap, Jake.
283
00:13:49,923 --> 00:13:51,964
If you washed the lettuce, you
have nothing to be afraid of.
284
00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:54,495
Do I look afraid, Uncle Phil?
285
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,129
I'm not. Watch.
286
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,421
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
287
00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:11,375
Do you not think we
know how eating works?
288
00:14:13,524 --> 00:14:14,605
Gerald, I guess we might as well
289
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:16,496
move our burial plots to the backyard
290
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:17,790
because we are gonna be taking care
291
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,098
of these dummies for eternity.
292
00:14:22,538 --> 00:14:24,642
You know what? Fine, fine.
293
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,423
Here, look. I'll eat one. All right?
294
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:27,605
You want me to eat one, I'll eat one.
295
00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:29,115
No, Jake, you don't have to do this.
296
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:30,293
It's okay if you messed up.
297
00:14:30,318 --> 00:14:32,622
Claire, I didn't mess up.
298
00:14:33,117 --> 00:14:35,931
It's not, it's not the wraps. It's not.
299
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:38,004
It's not the wraps, okay?
300
00:14:38,029 --> 00:14:39,472
I can take care of our family
301
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:42,831
by myself and I'll prove it.
302
00:14:45,596 --> 00:14:47,151
Mmm.
303
00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:53,186
You got about 20 minutes to
get your affairs in order.
304
00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:00,920
Hey. How's my little
Febreze commercial?
305
00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:06,979
So, my lettuce wraps have had
three hours of tummy time,
306
00:15:07,004 --> 00:15:07,980
and guess what?
307
00:15:08,005 --> 00:15:11,325
I feel incredible.
308
00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:14,473
I'm sorry, I, uh,
309
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:15,485
don't speak groan,
310
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,335
but what I assume you said was,
311
00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:19,739
"Thank you so much for taking
good care of our daughter."
312
00:15:19,764 --> 00:15:21,904
"Sorry we ever doubted you."
313
00:15:21,929 --> 00:15:25,315
"P.S. That's a great haircut."
314
00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:27,920
Thank you, Gerald.
315
00:15:27,945 --> 00:15:29,563
Yours, too.
316
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,176
We are sorry, Jake.
317
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,121
You didn't poison us and
you're doing an amazing job.
318
00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:38,938
And...?
319
00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:41,141
It is a nice haircut.
320
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:43,729
All right. Well, thank you two.
321
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:45,427
Who wants OJ?
322
00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:47,683
There you go.
323
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:51,226
We've got some water for Cooper.
324
00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:53,653
Bonnie, would you...?
325
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,811
Oh, no, no, no. I-I made my own.
326
00:15:55,836 --> 00:15:59,303
It's a special elixir from Dr.
Smirnoff.
327
00:16:01,004 --> 00:16:04,429
Well, I'm gonna go to the
kitchen where I will continue
328
00:16:04,454 --> 00:16:07,976
to be the most badass
caretaker on the planet.
329
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,221
I love you, babe.
330
00:16:09,246 --> 00:16:10,847
I love you, too, boo.
331
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:18,935
I'm gonna d...
332
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,380
I'm gonna die.
333
00:16:20,405 --> 00:16:21,611
I'm gonna die.
334
00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:26,042
I'm g... I'm gonna die.
335
00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:29,918
- Jake?
- Jake?
336
00:16:29,943 --> 00:16:31,733
- Jake...
- Jake, we're really cold in here.
337
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,310
- Come back, Jake.
- Coming!
338
00:16:37,727 --> 00:16:40,090
You can do this, Jake.
Jake, you can do th...
339
00:16:42,187 --> 00:16:44,106
Jake, you can do...
340
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,912
You can do this, man.
341
00:16:50,069 --> 00:16:51,487
Okay.
342
00:16:52,499 --> 00:16:55,132
Dug up a space heater from the garage.
343
00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:56,976
And since Claire's using
all the blankets,
344
00:16:57,001 --> 00:16:59,621
I brought in floor mats from
the car to keep you warm.
345
00:16:59,683 --> 00:17:01,650
I'll take the passenger side.
346
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,797
Thanks for everything, Jake.
347
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:07,095
And remember, I will be your rock
348
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,909
until you all feel as good as I do.
349
00:17:13,131 --> 00:17:15,302
Plugged in the space heater.
350
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,156
- Wayne, hey.
- Hello, hi.
351
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:21,685
- Cooper, your manager's here.
- I came to see
352
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,205
how you all are feeling, and
by "you all," I mean Cooper.
353
00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:26,114
What are all those things, Wayne?
354
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:28,101
Well, ever since you posted that video,
355
00:17:28,126 --> 00:17:30,371
our office has been overrun
with "get well" presents
356
00:17:30,396 --> 00:17:31,637
from your fans.
357
00:17:31,662 --> 00:17:33,920
They even sent a cantaloupe Cooper.
358
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:35,592
There was a torso, too,
359
00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:38,396
but I got a little
hungry on the way over.
360
00:17:38,977 --> 00:17:40,977
Wayne, could you close the door?
We're all really cold.
361
00:17:41,002 --> 00:17:44,411
Yeah. Turn up the ole space
heater for you guys.
362
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:46,601
There.
363
00:17:46,927 --> 00:17:48,550
Hey, uh, Wayne, can I talk
to you in the kitchen?
364
00:17:48,575 --> 00:17:50,418
Oh, sure. Nothing more fun
365
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,075
than a little bro time,
or so I've heard.
366
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,030
Oh.
367
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,765
Wayne, can I ask you something?
368
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:03,624
If this is about us having
a boys' night, I am in.
369
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:06,540
No, I'm the one who gave
everyone food poisoning,
370
00:18:06,565 --> 00:18:07,895
including myself.
371
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,157
I need you to help me make sure
372
00:18:09,182 --> 00:18:10,961
that no one finds out that I am sick
373
00:18:10,986 --> 00:18:12,135
because I am killing it.
374
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,526
Congratulations. Your couch is on fire.
375
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:15,530
Hell yeah, it is.
376
00:18:15,555 --> 00:18:16,357
I know I use a lot of slang,
377
00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:18,069
but your couch is literally on fire.
378
00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:20,034
Oh, my God!
379
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:22,564
I put the space heater too close.
380
00:18:22,589 --> 00:18:24,948
You accidentally put the space
heater too close, Jake.
381
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,611
That's what the juryneeds to hear.
382
00:18:26,636 --> 00:18:29,107
Ooh, this'll put it out.
383
00:18:29,132 --> 00:18:30,677
No, that's not water.
384
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,731
Look at that coward running away.
385
00:18:40,849 --> 00:18:44,162
Aah!
386
00:18:45,779 --> 00:18:47,216
Nice one, Jake.
387
00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:49,631
Good thing I fixed that hose earlier.
388
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,127
Has anybody tried these lettuce wraps?
They're amazing.
389
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,559
Well, better go.
390
00:18:55,584 --> 00:18:57,492
Got my first date since
the big divorce.
391
00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:59,065
Real special lady, too.
392
00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:01,155
I'm taking her up in a hot air balloon.
393
00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:05,153
Yeah, for the next four
hours, it'll just be me, her
394
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,178
and the sweet silence
of life in the clouds.
395
00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:10,513
Mmm.
396
00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:17,991
Oh, God.
397
00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:21,577
Oh, babe, you are sick.
398
00:19:22,507 --> 00:19:24,584
Why don't you come lay
down on the couch?
399
00:19:24,609 --> 00:19:26,230
All the embers are out.
400
00:19:26,255 --> 00:19:29,709
No, no, no, I-I-I said I
was gonna take care of you
401
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:32,067
and that is exactly what I'm gonna d...
402
00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:34,955
Claire, hold my hair back. Claire.
403
00:19:35,395 --> 00:19:36,834
Babe, come on.
404
00:19:36,859 --> 00:19:38,209
So you made one little mistake.
405
00:19:38,234 --> 00:19:39,601
It's okay to admit it.
406
00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:41,637
No, it isn't.
407
00:19:41,662 --> 00:19:44,397
If I can't even take care
of my wife when she's sick,
408
00:19:44,721 --> 00:19:46,870
how am I ever gonna be able
to take care of a kid?
409
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,821
Don't worry.
410
00:19:48,846 --> 00:19:51,508
After what you did today,
411
00:19:51,533 --> 00:19:53,651
no one's gonna trust
you with their kid.
412
00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:57,458
No, seriously.
413
00:19:57,483 --> 00:19:59,098
Honey, you put your own needs aside
414
00:19:59,123 --> 00:20:00,639
to take care of everyone else.
415
00:20:00,804 --> 00:20:03,166
And if that's not proof you're
gonna be a great parent,
416
00:20:03,191 --> 00:20:04,694
I don't know what is.
417
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:08,080
- I guess that's true.
- It is.
418
00:20:08,105 --> 00:20:11,362
And even if you did
poison everyone else,
419
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,367
I'm actually starting to feel better,
420
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:16,660
so technically, you
did take care of me.
421
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,287
Yeah, you're right.
422
00:20:19,312 --> 00:20:20,526
I'm the best husband ever.
423
00:20:20,551 --> 00:20:22,730
All right, so now that
you've proven that,
424
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,324
can we still rely on my
parents to do some stuff?
425
00:20:25,543 --> 00:20:29,285
Oh, it'll probably be kind of
helpful when we have kids, huh?
426
00:20:29,439 --> 00:20:30,772
Yeah, yeah. We can get
them to do all the stuff
427
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,018
that we don't want to do.
428
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:35,270
You know, like-like assembling
strollers and changing diapers.
429
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:36,368
Paying for college.
430
00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:38,170
They would be so good at that.
431
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,299
So good.
432
00:20:40,579 --> 00:20:43,101
Okay. Thank you again
for taking care of me.
433
00:20:43,403 --> 00:20:45,046
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
434
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,839
- Oh.
- Mmm.
435
00:20:47,436 --> 00:20:51,999
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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