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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:49,459 --> 00:01:51,999 French. Only French. 2 00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:54,874 I not feel good. 3 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:55,999 Calm. 4 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,124 Do like me. 5 00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:00,374 Think other things. 6 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,499 Watch film. 7 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,999 What is it? 8 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:09,374 A film about a plane. 9 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,874 It's interesting. 10 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,999 Very interesting. 11 00:02:18,334 --> 00:02:20,208 - Your meal, sir. - Thank you. 12 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,083 - Enjoy. - Thank you. 13 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,874 Ladies and gentlemen, we have just entered French airspace. 14 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,583 It's time. 15 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,874 Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately 16 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,458 an air traffic controllers' strike 17 00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:01,249 has shut down the Paris airports. 18 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,499 We have to land in Figari 19 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,208 in Corsica. 20 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,624 What the hell? 21 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:08,249 - What now? - Move! 22 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:10,499 - Go! - You're sure? 23 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,749 Why not Tripoli while you're at it? 24 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,499 We head back to France and the bullshit starts! 25 00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:17,124 The meal was foul too! 26 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,499 Shame on you! 27 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:20,958 - My fork! - What? 28 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,124 I lose my fork. 29 00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:24,208 I go alone. 30 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,874 Why not land in Nice? 31 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,374 Nice is closed for a summit. It has to be Corsica. 32 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,249 We're starting our descent. Yes, sir? 33 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,249 I need the toilet. 34 00:03:36,459 --> 00:03:38,874 Too late. Thank you for the cutlery. 35 00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:41,208 All of you, sit down now! 36 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,583 Fasten your seatbelts and clam up! 37 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,208 You can't treat us like this! 38 00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,999 When the world was created, 39 00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:57,249 God decided to invent the most beautiful country of all 40 00:03:57,375 --> 00:04:00,499 and put all of the world's wonders in it. 41 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,874 He called that country... France. 42 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:08,124 But so that other countries wouldn't feel deprived, 43 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,458 God decided to fill it with 44 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,874 the French. 45 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,874 But first let me explain 46 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,458 how we got here. 47 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,624 It all began in Taboulistan, 48 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,749 a tiny Central Asian country 49 00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:31,708 stuck between Afghanistan, Kirghizstan 50 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,333 and Tajikistan. 51 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,833 And it all began exactly 52 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,624 in a small village called 53 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,374 Kachtebrul. 54 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,708 This is me. Feruz. 55 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,249 And that's Muzafar. 56 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,083 We're half-brothers. 57 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:51,749 Muzafar is the son our dad had with his cousin. 58 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,458 The lady with the moustache. 59 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,374 Every morning 60 00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,208 with our women, we do 61 00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:02,499 the famous traditional dance of Taboulistan, 62 00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:04,624 the Tawa! 63 00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:06,999 The dance of joy! 64 00:05:24,209 --> 00:05:26,249 Our land is called Taboulistan 65 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,499 because our greatest pride 66 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:32,124 is to have invented 1,000 years ago 67 00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:35,249 the original recipe 68 00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:37,124 for tabbouleh! 69 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,249 A skillful blend of grain, 70 00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:41,374 parsley 71 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,124 and tomatoes. 72 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,624 In spite of what people think, the Lebanese didn't invent it. 73 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,249 Those dogs just stole the recipe! 74 00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:54,083 And, since then, the world has forgotten we exist. 75 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,749 The UN has never recognized us. 76 00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:04,749 And that bothers our Great Leader, Hadadad 77 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,624 Wassupbro... 78 00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:08,624 Idiots! 79 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:11,499 ...democratically elected for 36 years. 80 00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:15,124 Losers! 81 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,583 Not one minister had managed to get our land noticed 82 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,583 until the day when... 83 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,458 Jafaraz Wassupbro, 84 00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:27,124 son of our Leader, 85 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,708 had a revolutionizing idea! 86 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,708 Terrorism... 87 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:34,958 as advertising! 88 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:39,124 His plan was to attack 89 00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:42,249 the world's most popular monument... 90 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:45,499 The Eiffel Tower! 91 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:57,333 - Feruz, watch the goats! - Why me? 92 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,333 And it was that day, 93 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,708 as Muzafar and I were chatting... 94 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:06,458 - I should've drowned you at birth! - Calm down, you old goat. 95 00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:07,708 Old goat? 96 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:10,374 ...saw the start of the adventure 97 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,374 that led us to France. 98 00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:18,124 Greetings. 99 00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:21,124 Little Leader! 100 00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:24,333 Little Leader Wassupbro! 101 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,833 Calm down. Gently! 102 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:33,374 We were first sent to a training camp. 103 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,249 And, to get to know our new enemy... 104 00:07:49,459 --> 00:07:50,833 France! 105 00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:55,624 ...we started by learning 106 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:56,749 French! 107 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,874 These are the 10 most frequently used words. 108 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:01,208 Repeat. 109 00:08:01,459 --> 00:08:02,624 Hello. 110 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:05,833 How you? 111 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:08,374 Basterd! 112 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,583 Bisch. 113 00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:13,124 Arzhole. 114 00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:14,374 Fock. 115 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,708 Bommer. 116 00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:16,583 Shite. 117 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,374 Goobye. 118 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,333 We also studied all the cultural differences. 119 00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:29,374 France is a land where men are deprived of the right 120 00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:30,708 to hit women. 121 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:34,749 In France, 122 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,499 slapping women not allowed. 123 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,999 But what happens if they speak? 124 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,374 You listen. 125 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,624 Not possible! 126 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:55,749 You can't treat people like that! 127 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:59,583 To infiltrate the country, we changed our identity. 128 00:08:59,959 --> 00:09:01,874 Your French passports. 129 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,374 For you... 130 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:06,124 Jafaraz gave us new names. 131 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:07,124 I became... 132 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,458 Michel! 133 00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:10,208 And Muzafar became... 134 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,374 Yannick! 135 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,624 For me, 136 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,374 for the mission, 137 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,708 I've chosen to use typically French name. 138 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,833 Michel Ouellebec. 139 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,208 Don't like Michel. 140 00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:24,749 Michel no good? 141 00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,249 Alin Ouellebec. My name? 142 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:35,749 Better! 143 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,708 Faster! 144 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,374 Louder! 145 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:41,999 Faster! 146 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,749 And that's how we became 147 00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:47,999 soldiers in the RTT... 148 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:51,458 Revolutionary Terrorists of Taboulistan! 149 00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:56,124 ...ready to crash the plane of revenge 150 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,458 into the Eiffel Tower in Paris! 151 00:10:06,459 --> 00:10:08,249 After 9 months in training, 152 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,874 we were the chosen ones! 153 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,124 I'm proud to award you 154 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:16,124 the Tabouli medal of bravery. 155 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:18,999 And now... 156 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,583 you just have to do it for real. 157 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:22,749 For real? 158 00:10:24,459 --> 00:10:27,124 We do it with remote-control plane... 159 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,249 That mean we die? 160 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,374 I not want die! 161 00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,999 I not understand. 162 00:10:37,209 --> 00:10:38,874 You say to us 163 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,874 we heroes of the nation. Not mutton kebab. 164 00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:45,124 Brothers, with this mission, 165 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,333 you're going to become martyrs! 166 00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,249 You go to paradise! 167 00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:54,083 It's wild up there. Eternal life in pleasure garden... 168 00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:55,833 With welcome gift... 169 00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:59,833 You know, I'm not that keen on dying... 170 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,833 Shut up. 171 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,374 I not want to die. 172 00:11:02,584 --> 00:11:04,749 What's the welcome gift? 173 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,624 Usually, the basic package 174 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,624 is 70 virgins with all-you-can-eat buffet. 175 00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,999 Pretty interesting... 176 00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:14,999 You think so? 177 00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:15,999 You bet. 178 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,374 You can't be sure they're virgins. 179 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,374 True. 180 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:21,499 No good in bed, no good for tabbouleh. 181 00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:24,249 I prefer 70 mature women. 182 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,624 - 70 mature women. - I can't. 183 00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:28,624 But we die. 184 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,083 Good deal is when we all happy. 185 00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:36,874 All right... 186 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:40,624 Mature women and a bonus gift. 187 00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:42,874 Electric razor 188 00:11:43,459 --> 00:11:44,249 for travel. 189 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,708 It's electric... 190 00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,499 He say 191 00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:56,333 it going to be wild. 192 00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,833 All-you-can-eat buffet... 193 00:12:03,084 --> 00:12:03,874 With drinks? 194 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:04,874 Of course. 195 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,249 Coke, lemonade... 196 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:08,708 Oaziz? 197 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,499 And after a month traveling 198 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,874 to get to Dushanbe, 199 00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:20,374 Ashgabat, 200 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:21,499 Kabul 201 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:22,999 and finally Istanbul, 202 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,874 we ended up on this plane that was bound 203 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,208 for Paris in France. 204 00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:35,083 Or rather Figari 205 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:37,333 in Corsica. 206 00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:45,874 If you're not among the first to disembark, 207 00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:47,624 you wait forever. 208 00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,374 Police look to us. 209 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,999 Passports won't work. Turn back. 210 00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:55,708 Calm! 211 00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,999 Do like me. Act innocent. 212 00:13:01,584 --> 00:13:05,624 It's not me. 213 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,208 Welcome to Corsica. 214 00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:46,583 What we do now? 215 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,499 We do Plan B. 216 00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:50,333 What's Plan B? 217 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,124 We plane now! 218 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,208 It will be ok. 219 00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,708 We go Paris. 220 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:04,624 Sure. Put your bags in the trunk. 221 00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:05,749 Thank you! 222 00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:15,458 - Where he going? - Thief! 223 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:17,374 Crook! 224 00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:27,833 Is it far now? 225 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,999 Very hard. I not find Corsica on map. 226 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,583 Sun there. 227 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,458 We go there. 228 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,874 Hello, merchant. 229 00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:55,208 What's this? 230 00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:58,249 We look way to Paris. 231 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:01,124 What am I? A tour guide? 232 00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:03,999 French not very nice. 233 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:05,499 This isn't France! 234 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:07,749 This is Corsica! 235 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,833 Don't understand. 236 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,249 For Paris, turn round 237 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,958 and walk north. 238 00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,999 When you see dickheads, you're there! 239 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,749 Thank you. 240 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:22,874 What a way to treat people! 241 00:15:23,209 --> 00:15:24,374 Have a seat. 242 00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:27,249 Just ignore my brother. 243 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,083 Female scum! 244 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,374 Calm. 245 00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:31,833 Something to eat? 246 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,749 Yes, madam merchant. 247 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,999 We very hungry... 248 00:15:37,209 --> 00:15:39,624 Sausage, sheep's cheese, dessert? 249 00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:40,999 No, tabbouleh. 250 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,124 Sorry, this isn't a Lebanese restaurant. 251 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:49,208 Tabbouleh not from Lebanon, from Taboulistan. 252 00:15:49,375 --> 00:15:50,374 Where? 253 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,333 What? 254 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:09,124 Napoleon! Bonaparte! Attack! 255 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:18,333 Feruz! 256 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,124 Let go! 257 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,708 What you do? 258 00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:30,708 Not my fault. 259 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,833 No time for that now. Come! 260 00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:44,874 I'll waste you! 261 00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:04,124 Anyone here? 262 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,374 Village idiot! 263 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:15,333 You as hardheaded as horny goat! 264 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,333 Why? 265 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,499 What did Alin say? 266 00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:21,249 He say not hit woman. 267 00:17:21,459 --> 00:17:23,249 If not, big problem! 268 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,958 Next time you hear woman speak, 269 00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:29,499 imagine it man, 270 00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,833 that it's same. Ok? 271 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:35,999 Not understand. 272 00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:52,874 Feruz... 273 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:04,624 For me? 274 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,249 France... 275 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:11,999 Elegance... 276 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,374 Fashion... 277 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,124 Pockets... 278 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:19,374 Hello, monsieur, I'd like... 279 00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:21,124 some mustard! 280 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,999 Paris chic... 281 00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:39,874 Good night, Michel. 282 00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,124 Good night, Yannick. 283 00:18:42,459 --> 00:18:44,708 Tomorrow... Paris! 284 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,374 Ange, what is this? 285 00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:12,833 You said it was empty! 286 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,499 I don't know. 287 00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:16,083 The neighbor said so. 288 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,708 We waste them? 289 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:18,749 No, grab them! 290 00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,374 Get in! 291 00:19:23,584 --> 00:19:24,874 We can use them. 292 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,499 Read this. 293 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,874 Do it or you'll end up 294 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:44,208 with your heads on a flag too! 295 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,583 To the camera! 296 00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:55,499 Hello, I'm François Pinete. 297 00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:57,124 Hello. 298 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,374 I'm Christian Pinete. 299 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,624 We shall be 300 00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,374 freed in return 301 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:09,249 for the release of... 302 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:14,749 ...our brothers, Jean-Luc Domenico, 303 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:19,458 Paoli de Cinneci... 304 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:20,833 Dinini. 305 00:20:28,084 --> 00:20:29,208 Doumé! 306 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,249 Stop crying. 307 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,999 They're nothing like the brothers. 308 00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:38,999 The moustaches are fooling you. 309 00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:42,708 Sorry to insist but they have Alsatian accents. 310 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:46,499 Let me see. 311 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,249 Nothing like them! 312 00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:00,333 Who the hell are you, guys? 313 00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,499 Michel Platini. 314 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:03,833 Yannick Noah. 315 00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,583 I'm not fucking stupid! 316 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,999 Who are you? 317 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,374 - Who? - Not shoot! 318 00:21:12,584 --> 00:21:14,874 We terrorists too. We hate French. 319 00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:18,124 Usually, we do terror, not opposite. 320 00:21:18,334 --> 00:21:19,249 Not shoot! 321 00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:20,874 Terrorists! 322 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:24,708 Shut up. 323 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:25,749 Shut up! 324 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,249 What's your mission? 325 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,749 Suicide attack on French imperialism! 326 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,374 Suicide bombers? 327 00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:32,499 No! 328 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:33,958 Suicide bombers! 329 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:38,583 I told you to keep quiet, you wimpy goat! 330 00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:40,249 Doumé, come here! 331 00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,749 - Let's waste them. - Cut it out. 332 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,833 They're not the owners! 333 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,208 They're refugees. Maybe from Kosovo or Monaco. 334 00:21:51,084 --> 00:21:51,874 Help them. 335 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,249 We've decided to help you. 336 00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:00,374 For real? 337 00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:01,374 Yes. 338 00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:02,874 Solidarity. 339 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,249 Thank you! 340 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,249 Taboulistan thank you. 341 00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:23,499 Sun there. We go there. 342 00:22:24,625 --> 00:22:27,208 This first time I see the sea. 343 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,624 It's interesting. 344 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,374 Feruz... 345 00:22:45,750 --> 00:22:46,874 Fire! 346 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,999 Sir... 347 00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:05,499 Sir, can you hear me? 348 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:08,374 Are you ok? 349 00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:13,249 Here, this should help. 350 00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:18,624 Michel... 351 00:23:19,084 --> 00:23:20,208 Wake up, Michel! 352 00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:21,624 Wake up! 353 00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:25,999 Here, take this. 354 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,624 Are we in paradise? 355 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,624 This is hell! 356 00:23:44,084 --> 00:23:45,083 Away, demon! 357 00:23:47,584 --> 00:23:48,999 It's all right. 358 00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:59,583 This not West as Alin described. 359 00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:02,708 This horrible. We must go back home. 360 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,458 No, we continue mission. 361 00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:05,999 You lose Eiffel Tower! 362 00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:08,458 Sun there, we go there! 363 00:24:10,084 --> 00:24:11,208 What now? 364 00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:12,999 I hurt everywhere. 365 00:24:13,209 --> 00:24:14,624 Is all your fault. 366 00:24:15,375 --> 00:24:18,249 I hungry, I thirsty and I tired! 367 00:24:18,459 --> 00:24:19,249 Move it. 368 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,499 Always move it. 369 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,708 No, I hurt! I stay here! 370 00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:27,083 Fine, you stay here alone. 371 00:24:27,250 --> 00:24:29,999 I carry on. Taboulistan counting on us. 372 00:24:30,209 --> 00:24:32,083 Sick of taking care of you! 373 00:24:39,959 --> 00:24:41,999 Drive straight, feel sick. 374 00:24:42,209 --> 00:24:45,124 What piss me off more? You or France? 375 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:47,624 Stop complain. 376 00:24:48,084 --> 00:24:49,624 You need me. 377 00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:52,124 We two inseparable. 378 00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:56,999 Like goatherd and nanny goat... 379 00:24:57,834 --> 00:24:59,583 Women and moustaches... 380 00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:02,833 Children and hand grenades... 381 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,958 Love and sheep... 382 00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:16,999 France is beautiful! 383 00:25:17,625 --> 00:25:18,624 Yeah... 384 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,374 Refuse collectors on strike! 385 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:22,999 Get out now. 386 00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:28,083 That way. 387 00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:45,333 Fire! 388 00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:49,374 What this? 389 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,374 It's war! Run! 390 00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:06,583 Feruz! 391 00:26:31,334 --> 00:26:33,208 You really laid into them! 392 00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:35,333 What a gang of losers! 393 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:37,124 We demolished them! 394 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,208 Women hit men here! 395 00:26:40,375 --> 00:26:42,124 They crazy in this country! 396 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:44,333 Let's grab a pastis. 397 00:26:44,959 --> 00:26:46,958 The place is full of sex bombs. 398 00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:47,999 Bombs? 399 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:49,458 Packed with bombs! 400 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:54,374 We go with them. We can buy explosive. 401 00:26:54,584 --> 00:26:56,874 Lot of terrorists here... 402 00:27:02,709 --> 00:27:04,249 Tony, how's it going? 403 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:13,749 They bring us to a prostitutes' bar. 404 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,583 Look at skirt 405 00:27:15,750 --> 00:27:17,374 on edge of bush. 406 00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:22,499 This not good. 407 00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:24,249 No, not good. 408 00:27:24,459 --> 00:27:26,249 Tony, pastis all round. 409 00:27:26,459 --> 00:27:27,874 - Thirsty work. - Thirsty. 410 00:27:28,375 --> 00:27:31,374 Is there war on in France? 411 00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:32,374 In France? 412 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,458 This isn't France, dipstick! 413 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,124 This is Marseilles! 414 00:27:37,709 --> 00:27:39,208 It's not France? 415 00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:40,999 No, we're different. 416 00:27:41,209 --> 00:27:42,458 We have it all. 417 00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,749 Sun, sea... and buddies! 418 00:27:44,959 --> 00:27:46,958 Buddies all around you! 419 00:27:56,834 --> 00:27:57,999 It's hot here. 420 00:27:59,959 --> 00:28:01,958 Grab your weapons! 421 00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:03,833 We're the Marseilles guys! 422 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,374 And we're going to win! 423 00:28:06,625 --> 00:28:07,624 Looking to die? 424 00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:10,749 What's that Paris soccer shirt? 425 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,208 Want a beating, bud? 426 00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:14,624 Fuck the hell off! 427 00:28:20,709 --> 00:28:25,208 Motherfuckers! 428 00:28:33,375 --> 00:28:36,458 Why everyone say "motherfucker"? What it mean? 429 00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:40,999 It's like "hi" or "hello". Motherfucker. 430 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:43,958 - Motherfucker. - What? 431 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:46,208 Hey, fuckwad, you dissing us? 432 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,208 No, no dissing. 433 00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:50,499 Go home to mommy, children. 434 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:52,749 Children? You fuck off home! 435 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,958 We massacre Parisians here! 436 00:28:57,250 --> 00:28:59,708 I want to massacre Parisians too! 437 00:28:59,875 --> 00:29:00,874 Shut your mouth! 438 00:29:03,459 --> 00:29:04,374 Marseilles rules! 439 00:29:04,584 --> 00:29:06,749 Fuck Paris! 440 00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:35,874 Where are we? 441 00:29:36,584 --> 00:29:37,958 We in hospital. 442 00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:40,708 They look after you good. 443 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,583 Medicine champions! 444 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,749 But you sleep three days. 445 00:29:46,750 --> 00:29:48,333 You must eat. 446 00:29:49,209 --> 00:29:51,999 Come on, this good. It yogurt. 447 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,374 Gentlemen... 448 00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:57,124 I have some good news. 449 00:29:57,334 --> 00:29:59,999 We removed your kidney with no trouble. 450 00:30:02,375 --> 00:30:03,208 Kidney? 451 00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,124 It was his nose... 452 00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:07,208 His nose? 453 00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:08,708 Nose. 454 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,083 - Christelle... - Doctor? 455 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:11,333 His file. 456 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,999 - What's "kidney"? - Nothing. 457 00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:15,499 Shit! 458 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,499 What happened here? 459 00:30:19,709 --> 00:30:21,958 I wasn't on intake. 460 00:30:22,375 --> 00:30:24,208 It's a kidney... 461 00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:25,999 A kidney? 462 00:30:29,584 --> 00:30:31,249 - I was off. - Off? 463 00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:32,499 Yes, I was off! 464 00:30:32,709 --> 00:30:35,208 You weren't. You say that every time! 465 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:36,083 Cut it out! 466 00:30:37,875 --> 00:30:40,874 I'm sorry, we made a mistake. 467 00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:42,458 We took a kidney 468 00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:44,208 instead of mending your nose. 469 00:30:44,834 --> 00:30:46,083 You sick! 470 00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,999 Calm down, ok! 471 00:30:49,209 --> 00:30:50,999 You can live with one kidney. 472 00:30:51,209 --> 00:30:53,874 I only have one testicle and I manage fine. 473 00:30:54,084 --> 00:30:54,874 Yes! 474 00:30:55,084 --> 00:30:55,999 My kidney... 475 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:57,458 Give it back. 476 00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:58,833 Good luck. 477 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:00,374 Technically, 478 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,208 it's no longer yours. 479 00:31:02,375 --> 00:31:03,333 - It is! - No. 480 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:04,708 It's in Paris, 481 00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:06,708 to save an old lady. 482 00:31:06,875 --> 00:31:07,624 Give kidney! 483 00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:10,374 Without documents or medical insurance, 484 00:31:11,125 --> 00:31:13,083 good luck getting it back! 485 00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:15,708 If it's not done within 72 hours, 486 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:19,249 your kidney is better flambéed with mushrooms! 487 00:31:23,709 --> 00:31:25,124 You're making fun now! 488 00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:27,333 Filthy charlatan! 489 00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:29,374 You joke, he no kidney! 490 00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,374 I'm just trying to help. 491 00:31:31,584 --> 00:31:33,999 If that's your attitude, I'm gone. 492 00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,124 My kidney! 493 00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:37,499 Go milk billy goats! 494 00:31:37,709 --> 00:31:38,499 I want my kidney! 495 00:31:38,709 --> 00:31:41,499 And go munch grass with your two nannies! 496 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:43,874 My kidney! 497 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,499 I want my kidney! 498 00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:48,083 My kidney. 499 00:31:49,209 --> 00:31:50,124 Hello. 500 00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:53,749 Sorry but I'm shocked by what I just heard. 501 00:31:55,459 --> 00:31:56,249 I'm Marianne Bouvier. 502 00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:58,624 It's outrageous. 503 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,249 I'm with "In Depth". Heard of it? 504 00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,124 Probably not. 505 00:32:05,250 --> 00:32:06,874 I'm reporting on hospitals 506 00:32:07,334 --> 00:32:09,458 and I'd really like to help you. 507 00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:12,874 Not the Mother Teresa act again! 508 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,749 - What? - Enough. 509 00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:16,583 I'll be right back. 510 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,999 Come on, Feruz, let's go. Hurry. 511 00:32:22,209 --> 00:32:23,999 We can't miss out on this. 512 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,874 I can't do it, Marianne. 513 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:28,583 I have a shoot 514 00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:30,458 up in northern France. 515 00:32:30,834 --> 00:32:32,499 With the unemployed. 516 00:32:33,334 --> 00:32:35,749 If we tell their story, it'll help them. 517 00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:38,583 If you want to spend your time 518 00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:41,124 fighting for the weak, be my guest. 519 00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:42,874 The camera, 520 00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,499 the van keys. See you in Paris. 521 00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:49,749 Sure, go ahead, piss off. You waste of space! 522 00:32:52,334 --> 00:32:53,874 Where are you going? 523 00:32:54,084 --> 00:32:54,999 Female scum! 524 00:32:55,125 --> 00:32:57,833 Don't worry, I'm not with Immigration. 525 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,374 I'll get your kidney back. 526 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:00,749 We not need kidney! 527 00:33:00,959 --> 00:33:02,374 I want my kidney... 528 00:33:02,584 --> 00:33:04,874 You'll get 70 of them in paradise. 529 00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:07,999 I ready to die but only with all my parts! 530 00:33:08,209 --> 00:33:10,999 No one's going to die. We'll get it back. 531 00:33:11,209 --> 00:33:12,999 I'll drive you to Paris if I have to. 532 00:33:14,209 --> 00:33:16,374 - Paris? - Eiffel Tower! 533 00:33:17,625 --> 00:33:20,458 You can take us Paris? 534 00:33:20,625 --> 00:33:24,458 Of course. My car's right outside. Follow me. 535 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:27,208 A woman with a car? 536 00:33:27,375 --> 00:33:29,624 The French are crazy. 537 00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,458 We follow her. It's easier. 538 00:33:42,334 --> 00:33:43,874 Bad idea coming here. 539 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:45,624 - Want a ride to Paris? - Yes. 540 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:46,874 Then trust me. 541 00:33:47,084 --> 00:33:50,083 You haven't seen the good side of France yet. 542 00:33:50,250 --> 00:33:54,083 It's a just and humane land, full of understanding people... 543 00:33:54,375 --> 00:33:55,958 - Hello, ma'am. - Miss. 544 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,708 Number 44. 545 00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:10,249 I'm listening. 546 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,333 There's been a terrible medical error. 547 00:34:13,750 --> 00:34:16,124 His kidney was removed by mistake 548 00:34:16,375 --> 00:34:19,999 and he'd like it back before it's transplanted. 549 00:34:20,375 --> 00:34:21,583 I want my kidney! 550 00:34:22,125 --> 00:34:25,249 SMM. Serious Medical Malpractice. 551 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:32,708 You have to file a complaint with the public prosecutor, 552 00:34:32,875 --> 00:34:34,874 adding the victim's medical file 553 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,833 obtained from the doctor in question, 554 00:34:38,334 --> 00:34:40,874 and a letter justifying the complaint, 555 00:34:41,125 --> 00:34:43,124 why you want the kidney back. 556 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,874 After that, 557 00:34:45,084 --> 00:34:47,374 you'll need to launch civil action 558 00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:50,874 and submit your complaint for compensation... 559 00:34:51,125 --> 00:34:51,999 But... 560 00:34:52,209 --> 00:34:54,749 The compensation office 561 00:34:54,959 --> 00:34:58,833 closes at 4 PM, in other words in 5 minutes. 562 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,249 Tomorrow is a holiday, 563 00:35:00,459 --> 00:35:01,958 they'll take Friday off, 564 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:03,124 then the weekend 565 00:35:03,375 --> 00:35:04,708 and a strike on Monday. 566 00:35:04,875 --> 00:35:06,458 Go on Tuesday morning. 567 00:35:06,625 --> 00:35:08,624 Early as they're very busy 568 00:35:08,875 --> 00:35:10,124 and pretty slow. 569 00:35:10,334 --> 00:35:12,874 It should take 4 or 5 years to settle. 570 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:15,124 All right. 571 00:35:15,375 --> 00:35:16,708 Goodbye. 572 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:17,833 No way! 573 00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:20,499 We want a guarantee he'll get it back! 574 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,958 Or what? 575 00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:24,708 I want my kidney now! 576 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,083 Give me my kidney 577 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:29,374 or you give your kidney to me, old nanny goat! 578 00:35:29,584 --> 00:35:30,374 Calm down! 579 00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:32,874 Security! 580 00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:37,874 What? 581 00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:41,374 Give me your kidney too! 582 00:35:42,250 --> 00:35:45,083 Give me break, I did nothing to you. 583 00:35:45,250 --> 00:35:46,374 Calm down! 584 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,374 They're the victims! 585 00:35:48,584 --> 00:35:51,458 It's a scandal, taking kidneys from people! 586 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:53,499 They have documents? 587 00:35:54,375 --> 00:35:55,749 - No. - Undocumented then? 588 00:35:55,959 --> 00:35:58,749 Right, they're off to the holding center. 589 00:35:58,875 --> 00:35:59,583 The what? 590 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:02,083 A resort without a pool or turista. 591 00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:03,833 - Only foreigners. - Please! 592 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:04,749 My kidney... 593 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,249 Stand up! 594 00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:09,499 You're crazy! He's in pain! 595 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:10,958 Sure. 596 00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:13,958 We know all these gypsy tricks 597 00:36:14,125 --> 00:36:15,958 with their fake chairs and limbs. 598 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,999 - Where is the center? - Up north. 599 00:36:18,375 --> 00:36:19,499 In Toulouse. 600 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:23,374 Don't worry! 601 00:36:23,709 --> 00:36:25,374 I'll get you out, I promise. 602 00:36:26,709 --> 00:36:27,999 I won't let you down! 603 00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:49,083 Right, Mario and Luigi, we can't verify your identities 604 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:51,999 so you'll be deported to your home country. 605 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,999 That's it, it's all over. 606 00:36:55,209 --> 00:36:56,833 My kidney's gone for good! 607 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,958 Screw your kidney! We've brought shame on our land. 608 00:37:00,125 --> 00:37:02,749 We'll be executed, we won't go to paradise! 609 00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:04,374 You understand me? 610 00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:06,458 Absolutely. We speak French. 611 00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:09,749 Good, that'll save time. What country then? 612 00:37:10,125 --> 00:37:10,999 Taboulistan. 613 00:37:11,209 --> 00:37:14,124 Seriously? Does it exist? I never heard of it. 614 00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:16,999 Between Afghanistan, Tajikistan and Kirghizstan. 615 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:19,624 Give me an in-stan to type it! 616 00:37:20,125 --> 00:37:22,583 You're not even on Google Maps. 617 00:37:23,125 --> 00:37:26,499 The only result is a Lebanese restaurant up the road. 618 00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,124 We not Lebanese! 619 00:37:28,334 --> 00:37:32,874 There's no extradition treaty so we'll ship you off fast. 620 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,124 Here we go... A flight for Baghdad 621 00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:37,374 tomorrow morning. 622 00:37:37,584 --> 00:37:38,749 Baghdad? 623 00:37:38,875 --> 00:37:41,749 But we not Arabs, we Tabouls. 624 00:37:41,959 --> 00:37:43,624 No beard, only moustache. 625 00:37:43,875 --> 00:37:45,083 Same difference. 626 00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:47,999 - Not same! - 3,000 km away! 627 00:37:48,209 --> 00:37:49,458 A hike will do you good. 628 00:37:50,375 --> 00:37:51,624 You can call your tribe 629 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:54,333 just over there. Welcome to Club Med. 630 00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:55,708 Baghdad? 631 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,458 What become us in Baghdad? 632 00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:07,624 Alin? It's Yannick Noah. 633 00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,708 Five days without news! 634 00:38:09,875 --> 00:38:12,999 I very angry, you filthy trashcan hound! 635 00:38:13,709 --> 00:38:15,708 Now I hear what? You still alive? 636 00:38:15,875 --> 00:38:17,499 I even more angrier! 637 00:38:17,709 --> 00:38:20,124 It not our fault. Plane not go to Paris. 638 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:21,249 Police arrest us 639 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:22,499 and send us back. 640 00:38:22,625 --> 00:38:23,499 Shut up! 641 00:38:23,709 --> 00:38:27,124 I swear on my life of mine, if you come back here 642 00:38:27,584 --> 00:38:29,249 and Eiffel Tower standing, 643 00:38:29,459 --> 00:38:32,374 I unleash hell on an old gentleman 644 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,999 I go to fetch from your village... 645 00:38:35,834 --> 00:38:37,833 Yes, Dada! 646 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,374 Say hi, Dada. 647 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,374 Hi. 648 00:38:40,834 --> 00:38:41,749 Hi, Dada! 649 00:38:42,250 --> 00:38:45,124 I bring him to get air, he was too pale. 650 00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:46,999 Very kind, Alin. 651 00:38:47,209 --> 00:38:48,958 Take walk, Dada. 652 00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:52,499 Turn right! 653 00:38:58,125 --> 00:39:01,374 If you hesitate, Dada not always miss bullets. 654 00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:02,499 Get it? 655 00:39:04,125 --> 00:39:05,458 I count on you. 656 00:39:05,959 --> 00:39:07,958 Goodbye, Alain. 657 00:39:23,375 --> 00:39:25,124 Take it, for you. 658 00:39:25,459 --> 00:39:27,208 - What's that? - Money. 659 00:39:27,375 --> 00:39:28,499 500. 660 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,249 We not go Baghdad. 661 00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:32,458 Put that away. 662 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:33,999 Who do you think I am? 663 00:39:34,209 --> 00:39:36,083 We have ethics here in France. 664 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:37,999 Ethics? 665 00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:39,124 What's ethics? 666 00:39:39,334 --> 00:39:40,374 No idea. 667 00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:44,499 Then again... 668 00:39:45,625 --> 00:39:47,458 there may be another way... 669 00:39:52,250 --> 00:39:53,124 All right... 670 00:39:53,709 --> 00:39:56,833 It's Croc-Croc's birthday and Fragada 671 00:39:57,375 --> 00:39:58,833 brings him his present. 672 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,124 Come here. 673 00:40:01,334 --> 00:40:02,999 You too. 674 00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:06,874 You're good, you devils. 675 00:40:07,250 --> 00:40:09,208 It's party time. 676 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:11,333 You're having fun. 677 00:40:11,834 --> 00:40:12,999 Start dancing. 678 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,624 Do it or you're off to Baghdad! 679 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:20,999 Dance! 680 00:40:21,709 --> 00:40:23,249 I can't dance in this! 681 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:24,624 Come on, Fragada! 682 00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:26,458 Stop talking and dance. 683 00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:30,874 Not like that! 684 00:40:31,084 --> 00:40:32,624 Make it more sensual! 685 00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:34,708 Rub against each other. 686 00:40:35,334 --> 00:40:37,333 - This is good, huh? - No. 687 00:40:38,459 --> 00:40:39,708 You're so soft... 688 00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:42,833 And you... 689 00:40:43,750 --> 00:40:45,374 You smell of strawberries. 690 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:46,874 It's disgusting. 691 00:40:47,084 --> 00:40:50,208 No, it's not disgusting, it's natural. 692 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,124 Good evening. 693 00:41:04,250 --> 00:41:07,458 It's so hot this evening, don't you think? 694 00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:11,083 Officer... 695 00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,624 I'm ok, I have air-con. 696 00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:15,333 Great... 697 00:41:16,584 --> 00:41:18,999 Croc-Croc doesn't like your present. 698 00:41:19,375 --> 00:41:20,999 You went to so much trouble... 699 00:41:21,250 --> 00:41:22,499 So spank him. 700 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:23,999 This is weird. 701 00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,499 You're weird. Do it! 702 00:41:25,709 --> 00:41:27,874 - I don't want spank him. - Spank! 703 00:41:28,625 --> 00:41:30,749 Come on, we're losing the rhythm! 704 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,208 Spank! 705 00:41:33,375 --> 00:41:34,874 Show naughty Croc-Croc! 706 00:41:35,334 --> 00:41:37,249 - You want spank? - That's good! 707 00:41:37,459 --> 00:41:40,458 I spank, you want that? 708 00:41:44,459 --> 00:41:46,124 No, it's too confused. 709 00:41:46,334 --> 00:41:47,833 Confused, he said! 710 00:41:48,209 --> 00:41:49,624 But you're the one who... 711 00:41:53,375 --> 00:41:55,624 This what you want? Spank? 712 00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:57,874 This is fantastic. 713 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,958 Carry on, I'll get Tornado. 714 00:42:05,209 --> 00:42:06,124 Stop! 715 00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,583 Come on! 716 00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:21,833 Hurry! 717 00:42:40,125 --> 00:42:43,499 Fetch your superior now so I can explain! 718 00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:47,374 If they're not examined by a doctor in 10 minutes, 719 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:49,124 it's a tragedy for them 720 00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:51,499 and the job line for you! Get it? 721 00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:55,874 Madam, I'll be frank with you, totally frank... 722 00:42:56,375 --> 00:42:57,374 I don't give a shit. 723 00:42:58,250 --> 00:43:00,208 I really don't give a shit. 724 00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:01,999 Not even one little turd! 725 00:43:02,125 --> 00:43:04,499 See you, weather girl! 726 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,833 Who's going to punish naughty Croc-Croc and Fragada? 727 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,874 Tornado! 728 00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:14,624 The bastards... 729 00:43:17,959 --> 00:43:19,208 I don't believe it! 730 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,499 Where the hell are they? 731 00:43:27,709 --> 00:43:30,083 You'd rather work all night then! 732 00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:31,874 You can't do this to me! 733 00:43:32,084 --> 00:43:33,708 The hell I can't! 734 00:43:42,584 --> 00:43:43,624 Screw this... 735 00:43:48,084 --> 00:43:50,749 It's Bernard. Two of them got away. 736 00:43:50,875 --> 00:43:53,374 Let me get changed and I'm on my way. 737 00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:14,208 There! 738 00:44:22,375 --> 00:44:23,499 Great... 739 00:44:28,334 --> 00:44:29,499 Shit! 740 00:44:35,709 --> 00:44:36,624 Marianne Bouvier? 741 00:44:36,834 --> 00:44:38,333 What are you doing there? 742 00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:58,333 Marianne Bouvier! Help us! 743 00:44:59,334 --> 00:45:00,208 Climb out! 744 00:45:02,250 --> 00:45:03,499 No, too fast! 745 00:45:03,709 --> 00:45:04,749 Come on, jump! 746 00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:09,624 It kill us! 747 00:45:09,875 --> 00:45:10,499 Hold on! 748 00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:14,958 Look at that asshole! 749 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,874 - What the fuck? - Brake! 750 00:45:35,375 --> 00:45:36,999 You're fucking crazy! 751 00:45:37,209 --> 00:45:39,499 You forgot my trash again. 752 00:45:40,750 --> 00:45:43,124 You nearly killed us for that?! 753 00:45:43,375 --> 00:45:45,708 C'mon, I worked the distance out. 754 00:45:45,875 --> 00:45:49,124 If it was up to me, you'd never drive again. 755 00:45:49,375 --> 00:45:51,624 Thanks to you, the planet's dying! 756 00:45:52,334 --> 00:45:53,208 I do my bit. 757 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,249 I sort my trash. So do yours. 758 00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:57,958 It's recyclable. 759 00:45:58,750 --> 00:45:59,749 Crazy bitch... 760 00:46:03,125 --> 00:46:08,499 We did it! 761 00:46:09,875 --> 00:46:11,249 - We did it? - Yes! 762 00:46:18,959 --> 00:46:20,708 What's with the outfits? 763 00:46:21,584 --> 00:46:22,749 It's complicated. 764 00:46:22,959 --> 00:46:25,624 Why were you on the gate? 765 00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:27,999 I live nearby. I ran out of sugar. 766 00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:29,874 You live near prison? 767 00:46:30,084 --> 00:46:32,374 No, dummy, I was coming to get you. 768 00:46:32,625 --> 00:46:33,874 I had to get you out. 769 00:46:34,209 --> 00:46:35,208 Thank you. 770 00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,124 What called? 771 00:46:36,584 --> 00:46:38,249 Marianne Bouvier! 772 00:46:38,625 --> 00:46:40,833 And now we go Paris! 773 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:56,124 An unusual escape from the holding center. 774 00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:59,208 Two Pakistani illegals managed to get away 775 00:46:59,375 --> 00:47:02,499 dressed as a rabbit and a centipede. 776 00:47:02,625 --> 00:47:06,583 The communiqué doesn't say if the officers were drunk. 777 00:47:06,750 --> 00:47:09,624 The two fugitives are believed to be somewhere near Toulouse. 778 00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,249 And now, back to the music. 779 00:47:25,584 --> 00:47:28,124 Good morning. Time for some music 780 00:47:28,334 --> 00:47:29,749 with Charles Trenet... 781 00:47:50,875 --> 00:47:51,624 Good morning. 782 00:48:13,334 --> 00:48:15,499 Sweet France 783 00:48:16,334 --> 00:48:18,999 Dear land of my childhood 784 00:48:21,250 --> 00:48:23,999 Lulled by tender, carefree days 785 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,333 I've kept you in my heart 786 00:48:30,125 --> 00:48:31,249 My village 787 00:48:31,959 --> 00:48:32,833 Look! 788 00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,249 Lts steeple, its peaceful homes 789 00:48:38,084 --> 00:48:39,624 Where children of my age 790 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,624 Shared those happy times 791 00:48:46,959 --> 00:48:48,624 Yes, I love you! 792 00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:52,749 And I give you this poem... 793 00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:58,374 This is it? 794 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:01,124 We in Paris now? That Notre-Dame? 795 00:49:01,250 --> 00:49:02,333 No, not yet. 796 00:49:02,709 --> 00:49:05,874 We're stopping in St Cirq-Lapopie in Dordogne. 797 00:49:06,125 --> 00:49:08,124 Marianne, we must go Paris! 798 00:49:08,250 --> 00:49:09,999 Chill, Ninja Turtle! 799 00:49:11,334 --> 00:49:12,749 You're wanted. 800 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,249 So we're avoiding freeways and tolls. 801 00:49:16,584 --> 00:49:19,124 We have to be more discreet, ok? 802 00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:21,124 - We wanted? - Yes, we wanted. 803 00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:23,999 You'll get noticed, looking like terrorists 804 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,749 in Care Bear suits! 805 00:49:26,084 --> 00:49:27,499 We not terrorists! 806 00:49:27,625 --> 00:49:29,208 Not terrorists, no! 807 00:49:32,625 --> 00:49:34,374 Why flags everywhere? 808 00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:35,833 It's Bastille Day. 809 00:49:36,125 --> 00:49:37,624 The national holiday 810 00:49:37,750 --> 00:49:39,583 to celebrate the Revolution. 811 00:49:40,250 --> 00:49:41,499 They cut off the king's head. 812 00:49:42,250 --> 00:49:44,874 You cut head off your Great Leader? 813 00:49:46,625 --> 00:49:48,624 Celebrate a cut head every year? 814 00:49:49,709 --> 00:49:51,374 It's a bit weird. 815 00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:54,958 We mainly celebrate the values born that day. 816 00:49:55,125 --> 00:49:57,208 Liberty, equality and fraternity. 817 00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:01,458 I have right of way! 818 00:50:01,625 --> 00:50:02,874 Learn to drive, bitch! 819 00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:05,499 Come here and say that! 820 00:50:05,709 --> 00:50:06,749 Come on! 821 00:50:06,959 --> 00:50:10,083 Yeah, fuck off! Go home to mommy, loser! 822 00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:12,499 - Move! - Sorry... 823 00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:13,708 Asshole! 824 00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:23,499 I think I begin understand... 825 00:50:24,125 --> 00:50:26,749 Here, woman is like man. 826 00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:28,833 I told you. 827 00:50:29,750 --> 00:50:30,458 What? 828 00:50:31,459 --> 00:50:33,624 Pretty village. 829 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,249 Very interesting. 830 00:50:36,459 --> 00:50:39,874 My aunt has a house here. No one will bother us. 831 00:50:40,084 --> 00:50:42,208 And I'm starving. Aren't you? 832 00:50:42,375 --> 00:50:43,499 Yes, eat! 833 00:50:58,209 --> 00:51:01,499 Look how handsome they are now they're clean! 834 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:02,749 Marianne, 835 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,374 you found them at the Gay Pride parade? 836 00:51:07,209 --> 00:51:08,208 Very classy! 837 00:51:10,250 --> 00:51:12,374 Here's to me! 838 00:51:13,084 --> 00:51:14,249 Mind out. 839 00:51:14,834 --> 00:51:16,874 Truffle omelet, 840 00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:20,874 escargots with parsley, foie gras and gizzard salad. 841 00:51:21,250 --> 00:51:22,124 Thanks, Nanette! 842 00:51:22,334 --> 00:51:25,874 This will cheer you up after all your troubles. 843 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,499 - Female scum! - Enjoy it. Dig in. 844 00:51:34,250 --> 00:51:35,374 Try with cutlery! 845 00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:39,499 Forget it. 846 00:51:48,084 --> 00:51:48,749 It's good. 847 00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:50,999 Without the shell, 848 00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:52,958 they're even better. 849 00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:01,874 Better without shell. 850 00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:03,999 Use cutlery! 851 00:52:04,959 --> 00:52:05,833 Like this! 852 00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:11,624 Listen up, people, 853 00:52:11,834 --> 00:52:14,499 this wine is pure nectar. 854 00:52:14,625 --> 00:52:16,749 God may have created water, 855 00:52:16,959 --> 00:52:19,708 but man made St Emilion. 856 00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:21,458 You're in for a treat. 857 00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:23,708 Stand up, everyone. 858 00:52:26,625 --> 00:52:27,833 To the mailman, 859 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,499 his moped 860 00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:30,999 and the jerks waiting for him! 861 00:52:35,959 --> 00:52:36,999 Cheers! 862 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:39,583 In the eyes! 863 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:41,999 Glass in the eyes? 864 00:52:42,500 --> 00:52:46,249 Look into the other person's eyes or it's bad luck 865 00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:47,999 and you'll go to hell. 866 00:52:48,375 --> 00:52:50,124 No, I go paradise. 867 00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:52,249 In the eyes! 868 00:53:06,625 --> 00:53:10,583 I feel overcome 869 00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:14,874 by powerful feeling of harmony... 870 00:53:15,709 --> 00:53:17,999 As if someone put in glass 871 00:53:18,375 --> 00:53:20,499 concentrated happiness... 872 00:53:25,709 --> 00:53:26,874 More! 873 00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,958 Let's get serious now. 874 00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:33,208 Nanette's sausage and bean hotpot! 875 00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:36,374 With cutlery. 876 00:53:37,959 --> 00:53:38,749 Well? 877 00:53:39,209 --> 00:53:39,999 Very good. 878 00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:41,833 - Isn't it? - Very, very good. 879 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,958 In the eyes! 880 00:53:52,250 --> 00:53:53,333 Is it good? 881 00:53:54,375 --> 00:53:55,874 Very good. 882 00:53:56,125 --> 00:53:58,499 Don't give them any more drink... 883 00:54:05,709 --> 00:54:07,374 Long live grape juice! 884 00:54:10,500 --> 00:54:13,833 France best cooking in world! 885 00:54:14,834 --> 00:54:18,249 Just a second, Moustache Man, this isn't France. 886 00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:22,249 It's not France yet? 887 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,458 When's France? 888 00:54:25,125 --> 00:54:27,249 This is the Southwest. 889 00:54:27,500 --> 00:54:28,833 Yes, it's different. 890 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,874 Here we have fun, we live... 891 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:33,624 - We have big hearts. - And huge balls! 892 00:54:36,459 --> 00:54:40,999 We have Cantal, Brie and goat's cheese. 893 00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:49,749 Poor Dada. 894 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:56,999 Thank you. Best eating in all my life. 895 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:59,249 Thank you, Marianne, but now 896 00:54:59,459 --> 00:55:00,833 we must go Paris. 897 00:55:03,625 --> 00:55:04,374 Not just yet. 898 00:55:06,209 --> 00:55:09,458 After the feast, we fight the flab. 899 00:55:09,750 --> 00:55:11,124 Fight who? 900 00:55:51,584 --> 00:55:53,124 This game is weird. 901 00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:56,249 Marianne, what we do here? 902 00:55:56,500 --> 00:55:58,374 - We must leave! - Just a minute. 903 00:55:58,584 --> 00:55:59,999 You can't refuse. 904 00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:01,374 Go eat stones! 905 00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:02,999 Run! 906 00:56:09,959 --> 00:56:10,999 To the left! 907 00:56:16,375 --> 00:56:17,624 He's one of us 908 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,249 He's soiled his shirt like the rest of us 909 00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:24,999 Muzafar, rugby's new man 910 00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:28,749 Despite his tiny organ 911 00:56:31,625 --> 00:56:36,333 Pin dick! 912 00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:42,624 Marianne! 913 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,333 Marianne, enough! 914 00:56:45,625 --> 00:56:47,749 Stop now! 915 00:56:48,834 --> 00:56:51,999 Enough. I want to go Paris. 916 00:56:52,209 --> 00:56:54,624 One last drink and we'll go. 917 00:56:55,375 --> 00:56:56,749 Do you know Armagnac? 918 00:56:56,959 --> 00:56:57,999 Don't know it. 919 00:56:58,125 --> 00:57:00,249 There's nothing stronger. 920 00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:02,374 Waiter! Three Armagnacs. 921 00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:06,583 Wait. In the eyes! 922 00:57:11,209 --> 00:57:12,208 Again! 923 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:15,499 It's... 924 00:57:15,709 --> 00:57:18,708 - It's interesting. - Yes. 925 00:57:18,875 --> 00:57:20,499 - Even so... - It's not very strong. 926 00:57:20,709 --> 00:57:22,583 No, it's not strong. 927 00:57:27,209 --> 00:57:29,624 That's Bastille Day! 928 00:57:30,750 --> 00:57:33,249 - France... - Fashion... 929 00:57:33,459 --> 00:57:35,374 You look like a chicken. 930 00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:36,833 I want to eat you. 931 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,124 Look at me. 932 00:57:39,459 --> 00:57:40,624 A photo! 933 00:58:28,084 --> 00:58:29,708 Come dance! 934 00:58:29,875 --> 00:58:32,249 No, I not know how dance this. 935 00:58:32,375 --> 00:58:34,333 I prefer watch you. 936 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,624 Feruz... 937 00:58:43,709 --> 00:58:45,249 I must tell you... 938 00:58:46,334 --> 00:58:48,749 I must tell you something too. 939 00:58:51,084 --> 00:58:53,083 I love you, Muzafar. 940 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,124 I going to give you little kiss! 941 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,208 Don't touch, that's bad! 942 00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:02,249 What you want to say? 943 00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:05,374 Feruz... 944 00:59:08,625 --> 00:59:09,749 I love you too. 945 00:59:16,459 --> 00:59:19,083 We show them what dance is! 946 01:00:09,375 --> 01:00:11,083 It's the Tawa! 947 01:00:14,875 --> 01:00:15,874 That much? 948 01:00:16,250 --> 01:00:18,124 I thought that was the date! 949 01:00:18,959 --> 01:00:22,124 I'll teach you another great French tradition. 950 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,999 The dine and dash. 951 01:00:25,334 --> 01:00:26,374 What is? 952 01:00:26,500 --> 01:00:27,499 Well... 953 01:00:28,084 --> 01:00:30,124 First you drink... 954 01:00:35,834 --> 01:00:38,499 Then you take your things... 955 01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:43,833 And then... you run! 956 01:00:50,875 --> 01:00:51,999 Marianne! 957 01:00:52,625 --> 01:00:54,833 Hey, you! 958 01:01:09,084 --> 01:01:10,874 That's Bastille Day! 959 01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:12,333 We did it! 960 01:01:12,500 --> 01:01:14,124 We lose him! 961 01:01:15,459 --> 01:01:16,958 Where we go? 962 01:01:17,125 --> 01:01:18,333 What you do? 963 01:01:20,125 --> 01:01:21,333 A midnight dip! 964 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:30,624 Come on in! 965 01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:34,999 I already do sport today. 966 01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:36,208 Come on! 967 01:01:36,375 --> 01:01:37,874 I not know how swim. 968 01:01:38,125 --> 01:01:38,999 Come on... 969 01:01:39,959 --> 01:01:41,208 It's not deep. 970 01:01:55,750 --> 01:01:57,083 It's interesting. 971 01:01:57,625 --> 01:02:01,333 I have one last French specialty to show you... 972 01:02:02,209 --> 01:02:03,124 You have? 973 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:06,624 What is it? 974 01:02:11,959 --> 01:02:14,374 It's called a "ménage à trois". 975 01:02:15,625 --> 01:02:17,958 I'm too tired to manage anything. 976 01:02:19,750 --> 01:02:22,499 Three managers work faster. 977 01:02:22,709 --> 01:02:25,458 Many hands make light work. 978 01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:26,458 That's true. 979 01:03:37,625 --> 01:03:39,249 Room service. 980 01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:46,208 Uncle found us a car. They may be looking for my van. 981 01:03:48,334 --> 01:03:49,958 I'll just say goodbye. 982 01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:51,499 Ok, you lovebirds? 983 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:52,874 Get moving! 984 01:04:13,375 --> 01:04:17,249 Feruz, wake up. We must go Paris. Dress! 985 01:04:18,750 --> 01:04:20,124 Good morning. 986 01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:21,374 Not good morning! 987 01:04:21,750 --> 01:04:23,833 We must finish job. 988 01:04:31,209 --> 01:04:33,499 - Can't we stay a while? - No! 989 01:04:34,625 --> 01:04:35,874 Why not? 990 01:04:36,500 --> 01:04:37,874 It's nice here. 991 01:04:38,834 --> 01:04:39,958 I know. 992 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,208 What you do? 993 01:04:43,375 --> 01:04:44,833 Call now. She not here. 994 01:04:45,125 --> 01:04:46,583 Not with her phone! 995 01:04:46,959 --> 01:04:47,749 Hello? 996 01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:49,333 You wet goat! 997 01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:50,249 Who is it? 998 01:04:50,500 --> 01:04:52,124 I didn't mean you. 999 01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:54,999 It's Yannick. We soon arrive in Paris. 1000 01:04:55,250 --> 01:04:57,374 Why you not in Paris yet? 1001 01:04:57,625 --> 01:04:59,833 It very complicated here. 1002 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,208 We not even know if we in France. 1003 01:05:02,375 --> 01:05:03,999 But we find very kind woman. 1004 01:05:05,084 --> 01:05:07,749 You think you there to go to dancing party? 1005 01:05:09,209 --> 01:05:10,499 Hang up, she come back! 1006 01:05:11,084 --> 01:05:11,958 For explosives, 1007 01:05:12,584 --> 01:05:14,749 metro La Courneuve 10 sharp tomorrow. 1008 01:05:15,125 --> 01:05:16,583 10 sharp, La Courneuve. 1009 01:05:16,750 --> 01:05:18,749 You explode Tower at 13 hours. 1010 01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:20,708 13 hours the Tower. 1011 01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:22,999 Or Dada no longer 1012 01:05:23,250 --> 01:05:24,583 miss bullets. 1013 01:05:25,084 --> 01:05:26,958 No, not Dada. 1014 01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:28,374 I count on you. 1015 01:05:28,584 --> 01:05:30,624 - Don't do... - Repeat please. 1016 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,124 Hang up! 1017 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,624 Stop! 1018 01:05:36,834 --> 01:05:37,499 Ready? 1019 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:41,624 What's wrong? 1020 01:05:46,125 --> 01:05:48,624 5 hours with you is going to be fun. 1021 01:05:49,250 --> 01:05:50,458 Let's go. 1022 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:00,708 These will help. 1023 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:11,874 Perfect. 1024 01:06:41,334 --> 01:06:42,333 White line! 1025 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:43,374 Shit! The cops! 1026 01:06:47,084 --> 01:06:49,624 - You not stop! - Or we charter Baghdad! 1027 01:06:49,875 --> 01:06:50,749 Ok, I know! 1028 01:06:52,959 --> 01:06:53,624 Drive! 1029 01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:55,874 Turn right! 1030 01:07:02,375 --> 01:07:03,499 Do something! 1031 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,499 Calm down! Are they there? 1032 01:07:12,125 --> 01:07:14,249 Yes! No! I don't know! 1033 01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:32,749 Broken. 1034 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,749 Uncle won't be pleased... 1035 01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:44,499 Lost. We never arrive in Paris. 1036 01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:45,958 All because of her! 1037 01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:48,249 Stop shouting Marianne. 1038 01:07:48,709 --> 01:07:50,083 She try help us. 1039 01:07:50,250 --> 01:07:53,458 We should never have trusted woman. 1040 01:07:54,834 --> 01:07:56,583 Drop the Middle Ages attitude! 1041 01:07:56,750 --> 01:07:57,999 Female scum. 1042 01:08:03,959 --> 01:08:05,249 They find us? 1043 01:08:05,625 --> 01:08:07,624 They armed? They kill us? 1044 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,333 No, they're hunters. 1045 01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:12,124 They only shoot birds, not people. 1046 01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:14,333 Hello, gentlemen. 1047 01:08:14,625 --> 01:08:16,583 We wanted to take a short cut 1048 01:08:17,625 --> 01:08:18,749 but we got lost. 1049 01:08:19,750 --> 01:08:21,999 Do you know if anyone could help us? 1050 01:08:30,375 --> 01:08:31,374 Nothing. 1051 01:08:32,625 --> 01:08:33,583 It's nothing. 1052 01:09:06,209 --> 01:09:06,874 Ok... 1053 01:09:08,334 --> 01:09:10,499 Thank you very much. 1054 01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:22,124 Savages! 1055 01:09:25,834 --> 01:09:27,124 I didn't understand a word. 1056 01:09:28,209 --> 01:09:30,499 I think he called Cazenave 1057 01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,624 to ask if garage open. 1058 01:09:32,834 --> 01:09:36,624 He say garage open and come in 20 minutes with tow truck. 1059 01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:45,749 Are you making progress on the attack? 1060 01:09:45,959 --> 01:09:49,458 Yes, Dad. A minor hitch but nothing serious. 1061 01:09:49,625 --> 01:09:50,583 I hope not. 1062 01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:51,874 Stop! 1063 01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:56,749 I need to pee. 1064 01:10:01,209 --> 01:10:02,208 Come on. 1065 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,083 Come here! 1066 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:18,624 Yes, Dad? 1067 01:10:19,750 --> 01:10:21,083 Remember your brothers 1068 01:10:21,709 --> 01:10:23,708 Maruf and Ouloukbek? 1069 01:10:24,125 --> 01:10:26,124 No, Dad. I never knew them. 1070 01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:28,124 Exactly. 1071 01:10:28,709 --> 01:10:31,958 That's because they disappointed me. 1072 01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:37,624 So don't disappoint me too. 1073 01:10:39,084 --> 01:10:40,124 Get lost now! 1074 01:10:41,125 --> 01:10:42,249 Get lost! 1075 01:10:45,875 --> 01:10:47,624 Hermet, pack the bags. 1076 01:10:47,834 --> 01:10:49,583 - Your bags? - Our bags! 1077 01:10:50,125 --> 01:10:52,124 We're taking a trip. 1078 01:10:56,209 --> 01:10:58,624 You can't count on anyone. 1079 01:10:59,125 --> 01:11:00,499 Here you are. 1080 01:11:01,209 --> 01:11:02,374 This is it. 1081 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:03,958 Welcome to Paris. 1082 01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:10,249 Paris! 1083 01:12:40,750 --> 01:12:43,583 We'll go to the hospital first thing tomorrow. 1084 01:12:45,375 --> 01:12:47,374 Don't worry, we'll make it. 1085 01:12:48,875 --> 01:12:50,583 Make yourselves at home. 1086 01:12:51,209 --> 01:12:54,374 I'm going to... a short break... because... 1087 01:12:54,875 --> 01:12:56,708 It's so... 1088 01:13:09,250 --> 01:13:10,374 Stop! 1089 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:12,583 What you do? 1090 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:14,124 Come. 1091 01:13:14,334 --> 01:13:15,333 But... 1092 01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:22,958 We are the RTT. 1093 01:13:24,250 --> 01:13:26,083 You now. 1094 01:13:26,625 --> 01:13:28,458 Go on, give me hate! 1095 01:13:30,834 --> 01:13:33,624 We claim responsibility... 1096 01:13:37,209 --> 01:13:40,499 We claim responsibility for attack on Eiffel Tower 1097 01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:43,499 on July 16th at 13 hours! 1098 01:13:45,250 --> 01:13:46,374 What you do? 1099 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,124 What you do? Come back! 1100 01:13:56,834 --> 01:13:58,124 What is it, Feruz? 1101 01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:05,958 I not really understand what we do here. 1102 01:14:06,709 --> 01:14:10,249 Yesterday, I have incredible day. 1103 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:12,083 It's true. 1104 01:14:13,125 --> 01:14:15,499 I not want paradise up there now. 1105 01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,999 I want to live down here. 1106 01:14:19,875 --> 01:14:21,624 And live in shame? 1107 01:14:21,834 --> 01:14:24,833 For betraying your country, your village 1108 01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:25,958 and your family? 1109 01:14:27,625 --> 01:14:28,958 We have no choice. 1110 01:14:29,375 --> 01:14:30,749 We must finish mission. 1111 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,874 What mission? His plan sucks. 1112 01:14:34,459 --> 01:14:35,499 Plan A, Plan B... 1113 01:14:35,875 --> 01:14:38,249 Exploding people by exploding yourself. 1114 01:14:38,459 --> 01:14:39,999 That's shame. 1115 01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:44,958 All for a leader we put up with for 36 years now! 1116 01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:46,499 I want no more leader! 1117 01:14:46,875 --> 01:14:48,249 Cut off his head! 1118 01:14:49,625 --> 01:14:50,374 I want 1119 01:14:50,959 --> 01:14:52,499 to eat snails, 1120 01:14:53,250 --> 01:14:54,708 drink grapes. 1121 01:14:55,709 --> 01:14:57,499 I not want explode myself. 1122 01:14:57,750 --> 01:14:59,624 I want to have blast! 1123 01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,624 You let Marianne influence you. 1124 01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:07,249 Remember what they did. 1125 01:15:07,459 --> 01:15:09,249 You like losing kidney? 1126 01:15:09,500 --> 01:15:10,208 No. 1127 01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,708 And Fragada... 1128 01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:13,124 Was that blast? 1129 01:15:13,459 --> 01:15:14,249 No way. 1130 01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:15,499 So? 1131 01:15:16,125 --> 01:15:17,833 I feel more alive here 1132 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,249 in one day than in rest of my life. 1133 01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:23,708 Coward! 1134 01:15:24,584 --> 01:15:26,749 I finish mission alone. 1135 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:28,124 Martyr... 1136 01:15:31,375 --> 01:15:32,749 Shame on you, Feruz. 1137 01:15:36,500 --> 01:15:37,749 Shame on you. 1138 01:16:05,084 --> 01:16:06,333 Muzafar... 1139 01:16:33,209 --> 01:16:33,874 Yannick? 1140 01:16:34,750 --> 01:16:36,124 Kevin. Move your ass! 1141 01:16:38,209 --> 01:16:39,083 Climb on. 1142 01:16:39,459 --> 01:16:41,124 Don't take forever. 1143 01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,499 You don't look like a Yannick. 1144 01:16:45,709 --> 01:16:47,874 I am. Yannick Noah. 1145 01:16:56,334 --> 01:16:58,333 I'll see how it's going. 1146 01:16:58,625 --> 01:16:59,958 Sit here. 1147 01:17:00,584 --> 01:17:02,499 I'll come and fetch you. 1148 01:17:02,709 --> 01:17:03,624 Ok. 1149 01:17:11,334 --> 01:17:12,374 Here you go. 1150 01:17:16,250 --> 01:17:17,374 What do you fancy? 1151 01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:18,874 Kevin! Set the table! 1152 01:17:19,125 --> 01:17:20,833 Just a sec, Mom, I'm working! 1153 01:17:21,584 --> 01:17:24,083 Hungry? You like veal olives? 1154 01:17:24,459 --> 01:17:25,249 I don't know. 1155 01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:27,208 If you're hungry or you like that? 1156 01:17:27,375 --> 01:17:28,083 I don't know. 1157 01:17:28,250 --> 01:17:29,124 What d'you need? 1158 01:17:29,500 --> 01:17:30,874 Explosives. 1159 01:17:31,209 --> 01:17:32,999 Man, you're making my day! 1160 01:17:33,209 --> 01:17:36,249 You lucky fucker, I'm doing an offer on Semtex. 1161 01:17:37,375 --> 01:17:39,249 The terrorist explosive. 1162 01:17:39,459 --> 01:17:41,958 10 of these will down the Eiffel Tower. 1163 01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:44,249 I want 10! 1164 01:17:44,584 --> 01:17:46,333 10? Treating yourself? 1165 01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:47,958 No problem. 1166 01:17:48,500 --> 01:17:49,499 You won't regret it. 1167 01:17:49,875 --> 01:17:52,333 This stuff sells like hot cakes. 1168 01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:53,749 It's wild. 1169 01:17:53,959 --> 01:17:55,124 Need it gift-wrapped? 1170 01:17:55,375 --> 01:17:56,499 No, it's for me. 1171 01:17:58,000 --> 01:17:58,749 Ready-to-wear? 1172 01:17:59,875 --> 01:18:00,624 Respect, man. 1173 01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:02,124 Martyr. 1174 01:18:03,125 --> 01:18:04,458 Take a look at this... 1175 01:18:04,625 --> 01:18:07,208 The suicide bomber vest. Fully adjustable. 1176 01:18:10,459 --> 01:18:12,249 Fucking awesome on you! 1177 01:18:12,709 --> 01:18:15,083 I like you so I'll throw in for free 1178 01:18:15,875 --> 01:18:17,624 the cell to start the show. 1179 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,249 Very kind. 1180 01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:21,374 That way you'll come back. 1181 01:18:22,500 --> 01:18:24,833 Stop feeling yourselves and come eat! 1182 01:18:25,334 --> 01:18:27,083 I'm not feeling myself! 1183 01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:29,499 Check this out. 1184 01:18:29,709 --> 01:18:31,874 Let me show you this before you go. 1185 01:18:33,834 --> 01:18:34,499 What is it? 1186 01:18:34,709 --> 01:18:35,749 This is Chouki. 1187 01:18:36,459 --> 01:18:37,333 I'll show you. 1188 01:18:39,834 --> 01:18:41,749 We've been looking for you. 1189 01:18:42,084 --> 01:18:43,958 Why did you leave the hospital? 1190 01:18:44,709 --> 01:18:45,624 I don't know. 1191 01:18:45,834 --> 01:18:46,708 We have your kidney. 1192 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,374 We can operate now. 1193 01:18:51,334 --> 01:18:51,999 For real? 1194 01:18:55,375 --> 01:18:56,333 Thank you, madam. 1195 01:18:57,875 --> 01:18:59,499 You are good person. 1196 01:18:59,625 --> 01:19:01,374 A thousand thanks. 1197 01:19:01,584 --> 01:19:03,124 Health and prosperity. 1198 01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:05,249 She found my kidney! 1199 01:19:06,500 --> 01:19:08,708 I put his bomb belt on him. 1200 01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:13,499 Get it nice and tight or it won't work. 1201 01:19:14,125 --> 01:19:16,999 Just a minute, Mom! What a drag... 1202 01:19:17,209 --> 01:19:18,999 You explode squirrel? 1203 01:19:19,459 --> 01:19:21,333 Yeah, I have plenty more. 1204 01:19:24,750 --> 01:19:26,583 I'm sure he'll come back. 1205 01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:33,624 There's something you don't know... 1206 01:19:33,875 --> 01:19:35,499 And I can't tell you. 1207 01:19:36,209 --> 01:19:37,374 It's ok, I realized. 1208 01:19:40,625 --> 01:19:41,624 You're a couple. 1209 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:45,999 You're gay, right? 1210 01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:49,833 It's obvious. 1211 01:19:50,250 --> 01:19:52,749 You weren't comfortable last night. 1212 01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:55,999 You have to find him 1213 01:19:56,459 --> 01:19:58,249 and tell him he's screwing up. 1214 01:19:58,834 --> 01:20:01,083 What matters is living here with you. 1215 01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:03,083 That's why you came to France. 1216 01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:04,333 To be free. 1217 01:20:05,584 --> 01:20:07,499 You're so right. 1218 01:20:09,084 --> 01:20:10,458 But the truth is... 1219 01:20:10,875 --> 01:20:11,583 You see... 1220 01:20:12,459 --> 01:20:14,083 Let's go, Mr. Ayayaz. 1221 01:20:19,750 --> 01:20:20,749 When you're ready, 1222 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,583 you press "call". 1223 01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:24,874 And he's off to hamster heaven. 1224 01:20:26,084 --> 01:20:26,999 Ready? 1225 01:20:27,209 --> 01:20:28,124 One... 1226 01:20:28,250 --> 01:20:29,249 Two... 1227 01:20:30,334 --> 01:20:33,124 Hold on, using the wrong phone would be a bummer. 1228 01:20:33,834 --> 01:20:36,374 Is this the one I gave you earlier? 1229 01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:39,374 I think it's the other. No, this one... 1230 01:20:39,875 --> 01:20:40,958 One... 1231 01:20:41,125 --> 01:20:42,499 Two. No, this one. 1232 01:20:42,625 --> 01:20:44,749 This is the one. It's this one. 1233 01:20:44,959 --> 01:20:46,999 One... two... three... 1234 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:51,833 Hamster hash! 1235 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:53,124 What a blast! 1236 01:20:54,250 --> 01:20:57,833 I'll drive you back. This 'hood can be dangerous. 1237 01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:59,124 Come on then. 1238 01:21:22,125 --> 01:21:23,708 Relax. It's going to be ok. 1239 01:21:28,875 --> 01:21:31,124 Excuse me, sir... 1240 01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,624 - Is that my kidney? - Yes, it is. 1241 01:21:36,125 --> 01:21:38,249 Don't worry, it'll all go well. 1242 01:21:38,459 --> 01:21:39,999 No time for operation today. 1243 01:21:40,375 --> 01:21:43,624 I have important thing to do. I come back later. 1244 01:21:43,834 --> 01:21:45,499 Thank you. Goodbye. 1245 01:21:45,625 --> 01:21:47,874 What are you doing? He's out of his mind! 1246 01:21:48,084 --> 01:21:50,249 Go after him! He can't leave 1247 01:21:50,584 --> 01:21:51,999 with his kidney! 1248 01:22:30,625 --> 01:22:31,749 Come on! 1249 01:22:32,334 --> 01:22:33,624 What's going on? 1250 01:22:33,834 --> 01:22:36,708 I go find Muzafar. Operation later. 1251 01:22:36,875 --> 01:22:38,208 Are you crazy? 1252 01:22:38,375 --> 01:22:40,624 Don't worry, I have kidney! 1253 01:22:41,084 --> 01:22:42,499 - No! - Yes! 1254 01:22:43,084 --> 01:22:45,749 - You can't do this! - I hold onto it now. 1255 01:22:45,959 --> 01:22:46,624 Come on! 1256 01:22:49,584 --> 01:22:52,458 - Move, I'm trying to work! - Give me a break! 1257 01:22:52,834 --> 01:22:55,333 - It's green for me! - Shut your mouth! 1258 01:22:56,375 --> 01:22:57,499 Drive! Hurry! 1259 01:22:59,625 --> 01:23:01,249 - Where to? - Eiffel Tower. 1260 01:23:01,375 --> 01:23:02,958 That won't be possible. 1261 01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:06,083 Traffic's heavy there and you're my last fare. 1262 01:23:06,625 --> 01:23:09,124 I can leave you at Porte de Bagnolet... 1263 01:23:11,334 --> 01:23:13,833 Why things so complicated in France? 1264 01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:16,374 He's crazy. This isn't Fr... 1265 01:23:16,584 --> 01:23:18,499 I know, this isn't France. 1266 01:23:18,709 --> 01:23:22,458 Exactly, it's Paris. The world's most beautiful city. 1267 01:23:22,834 --> 01:23:24,874 A good job France has Paris 1268 01:23:25,084 --> 01:23:27,374 to give all the county bumpkins dreams. 1269 01:23:27,834 --> 01:23:30,208 Porte de Bagnolet is miles away. 1270 01:23:30,375 --> 01:23:31,999 It's where I'm heading. 1271 01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:34,749 You're a cab, you go where we say! 1272 01:23:36,375 --> 01:23:37,583 Dumb bitch! 1273 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,124 Ok, we have no choice. 1274 01:23:44,209 --> 01:23:45,124 What this? 1275 01:24:00,875 --> 01:24:01,874 Daddy! 1276 01:24:03,625 --> 01:24:05,708 Hi daddy! 1277 01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:45,833 What's wrong? 1278 01:24:46,959 --> 01:24:48,874 Don't worry, we'll find him. 1279 01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,458 Come! 1280 01:25:13,125 --> 01:25:14,499 Thank God! 1281 01:25:22,875 --> 01:25:23,999 I couldn't, Feruz... 1282 01:25:24,209 --> 01:25:25,583 I couldn't. 1283 01:25:25,750 --> 01:25:26,999 It doesn't matter. 1284 01:25:28,584 --> 01:25:29,999 I can't kill children. 1285 01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:32,749 I won't kill grown-ups either. 1286 01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:37,124 I won't be happy in paradise if I kill people. 1287 01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:41,583 So I throw bomb in big river over there. 1288 01:25:44,834 --> 01:25:46,083 Shame on us, Feruz. 1289 01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:50,958 Jafaraz will cut off our heads with rusty knife 1290 01:25:51,125 --> 01:25:52,499 on village square! 1291 01:25:56,709 --> 01:25:57,624 What if... 1292 01:25:58,209 --> 01:25:59,624 we didn't go back? 1293 01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:02,374 What if we stayed here? 1294 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:06,833 But Dada... 1295 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,124 What about Dada? 1296 01:26:15,625 --> 01:26:19,874 Jafaraz said he unleash hell on him. 1297 01:26:29,875 --> 01:26:31,208 He's old. 1298 01:26:34,709 --> 01:26:36,333 Yes, he's old. 1299 01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:38,624 He's very old. 1300 01:26:45,250 --> 01:26:46,124 Hey, you lovebirds... 1301 01:26:47,209 --> 01:26:48,208 Get a hotel room. 1302 01:26:50,625 --> 01:26:51,708 The hospital now? 1303 01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:54,124 Look... 1304 01:26:54,334 --> 01:26:55,833 I found my kidney! 1305 01:26:58,209 --> 01:26:59,958 - Come on. - Let's go. 1306 01:27:02,625 --> 01:27:03,374 Wait... 1307 01:27:04,375 --> 01:27:06,499 Can we look at tower first? 1308 01:27:06,625 --> 01:27:09,124 We'll come back. It's not going away. 1309 01:27:09,334 --> 01:27:10,958 You never know. 1310 01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:14,083 What's so funny? 1311 01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:16,749 Nothing. Why it called Eiffel Tower? 1312 01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:19,874 The architect's name was Gustave Eiffel. 1313 01:27:20,084 --> 01:27:22,374 He made some crazy stuff! 1314 01:27:24,625 --> 01:27:26,374 Look at those two! 1315 01:27:26,625 --> 01:27:27,749 He look like... 1316 01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:31,583 Little Leader Wassupbro! 1317 01:27:34,875 --> 01:27:36,458 - What they do? - You! 1318 01:27:37,334 --> 01:27:38,874 Look at bag! 1319 01:27:39,125 --> 01:27:41,249 - They bring bomb! - What's going on? 1320 01:27:41,709 --> 01:27:42,583 Traitors! 1321 01:27:42,750 --> 01:27:45,374 - Terrorists! - Call police. They have bomb! 1322 01:27:45,625 --> 01:27:46,583 They have bomb! 1323 01:28:04,875 --> 01:28:05,624 Go on, Muzafar! 1324 01:28:06,750 --> 01:28:07,999 Like in rugby! 1325 01:28:18,750 --> 01:28:21,083 Long live Taboulistan! 1326 01:28:29,084 --> 01:28:30,458 - Damn... - What do now? 1327 01:28:31,709 --> 01:28:34,208 I one kidney short. Best I take risk. 1328 01:28:34,500 --> 01:28:35,999 No, my fault we here! 1329 01:28:36,209 --> 01:28:37,874 Stop arguing. Today, 1330 01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:39,749 I take care of us. 1331 01:28:40,584 --> 01:28:41,249 Run, Feruz! 1332 01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:45,249 Out of way! 1333 01:28:46,459 --> 01:28:47,708 Go away! 1334 01:28:51,334 --> 01:28:52,083 Run! 1335 01:28:56,375 --> 01:28:57,249 What he do? 1336 01:29:01,750 --> 01:29:02,999 Shit... 1337 01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:18,124 There you go. 1338 01:29:18,250 --> 01:29:21,749 That's how my adventure in France came to an end. 1339 01:29:23,334 --> 01:29:24,708 Poor little Feruz. 1340 01:29:25,334 --> 01:29:27,749 A terrorist attack narrowly avoided 1341 01:29:27,959 --> 01:29:29,583 at the Eiffel Tower. 1342 01:29:29,750 --> 01:29:32,999 Luckily, everyone spoke about my heroic deed. 1343 01:29:33,125 --> 01:29:34,624 Even Guillaume Auda. 1344 01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:39,708 Marianne was very professional in her first live report 1345 01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:41,833 despite her emotion. 1346 01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:45,333 Thanks to the sacrifice of two undocumented immigrants, 1347 01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:48,874 France still has her greatest symbol. 1348 01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:53,208 Feruz Ayayaz, a goatherd aged 35 from Taboulistan, 1349 01:29:53,375 --> 01:29:56,583 a cheerful man fond of dancing and goats... 1350 01:29:56,750 --> 01:29:59,208 The news even reached them at home. 1351 01:29:59,500 --> 01:30:01,499 But just where is Taboulistan? 1352 01:30:01,709 --> 01:30:04,958 It's a small land in Central Asia between Afghanistan, 1353 01:30:05,125 --> 01:30:07,249 Tajikistan and Kirghizstan. 1354 01:30:10,125 --> 01:30:12,249 Our genius was finally recognized 1355 01:30:12,459 --> 01:30:14,249 by the whole world. 1356 01:30:14,375 --> 01:30:15,874 ...proud of inventing 1357 01:30:16,250 --> 01:30:18,458 tabbouleh over 1,000 years ago. 1358 01:30:18,625 --> 01:30:20,874 And so Taboulistan became 1359 01:30:21,084 --> 01:30:24,499 the 194th member of the UN. 1360 01:30:24,875 --> 01:30:26,749 The Great Leader was delighted. 1361 01:30:26,875 --> 01:30:30,124 And for the last time because the next day, 1362 01:30:30,334 --> 01:30:33,124 with the Revolution, they cut off his head! 1363 01:30:34,375 --> 01:30:36,874 Kachetebrul found fortune at last 1364 01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:40,374 by becoming the country's top tourist destination! 1365 01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:41,874 Dada was very happy. 1366 01:30:42,084 --> 01:30:44,124 400 euros. My son! 1367 01:30:45,875 --> 01:30:48,749 Jafaraz tried to flee the country but... 1368 01:30:53,209 --> 01:30:56,999 he had a slight mishap on his way to Switzerland. 1369 01:31:03,125 --> 01:31:05,083 But France was the country 1370 01:31:05,250 --> 01:31:08,249 that paid me the greatest tribute. 1371 01:31:08,459 --> 01:31:10,999 I even had the honor of being received 1372 01:31:11,125 --> 01:31:13,999 at the home of the great leader of all the French. 1373 01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:17,333 Who is in fact a woman. The French really are crazy! 1374 01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:23,083 That hurts. 1375 01:31:24,125 --> 01:31:25,749 Muzafar gave a speech 1376 01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,458 and said lots of beautiful things. 1377 01:31:29,834 --> 01:31:31,374 Why did you do it? 1378 01:31:32,125 --> 01:31:34,583 Goddam desert dune dickwad! 1379 01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:38,458 You will stay 1380 01:31:38,875 --> 01:31:40,499 forever in my heart. 1381 01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:42,874 If ever I have children, 1382 01:31:43,375 --> 01:31:45,583 I'll call them all Feruz. 1383 01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:47,249 Even the girls! 1384 01:31:48,250 --> 01:31:50,999 In Taboulistan, when someone die, 1385 01:31:51,459 --> 01:31:52,333 people have party. 1386 01:31:52,500 --> 01:31:53,499 So, for Feruz, 1387 01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,624 traditional dance, 1388 01:31:55,834 --> 01:31:56,999 the Tawa! 1389 01:32:06,375 --> 01:32:08,083 As for me, my friends, 1390 01:32:08,334 --> 01:32:10,499 don't worry, everything's fine. 1391 01:32:10,709 --> 01:32:12,708 Since I saved hundreds of lives 1392 01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:14,749 I was sent straight 1393 01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:16,208 to paradise! 1394 01:32:16,375 --> 01:32:20,249 Where I haven't seen a single virgin or a mature woman. 1395 01:32:20,500 --> 01:32:22,208 Nor any terrorists either. 1396 01:32:22,375 --> 01:32:24,249 However, the all-you-can-eat buffet 1397 01:32:24,500 --> 01:32:25,749 is awesome! 1398 01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:28,374 Lemonade, Coke, Oaziz... 1399 01:32:29,334 --> 01:32:31,249 It's interesting. 1400 01:32:34,959 --> 01:32:35,874 What? 1401 01:32:36,250 --> 01:32:38,374 We said not hit woman! 1402 01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:40,374 Subtitles: Lan Burley 1403 01:36:40,709 --> 01:36:43,333 Subtitling: Eclair Group87470