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00:00:10,926 --> 00:00:24,138
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:27,399
OK, well done guys, really good
session. Seriously, well done.
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00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:28,643
See you next week. Bye.
4
00:00:31,283 --> 00:00:32,963
I don't believe it!
5
00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:51,643
Eric, listen, have you got a minute?
6
00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:54,603
Come on, Stephanie, punch!
7
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,643
Oh no, no. I think I'm gonna be
sick.
8
00:00:57,663 --> 00:00:59,023
I knew I shouldn't have had them
9
00:00:59,111 --> 00:01:01,191
two steak bakes from Greggs
before my breakfast.
10
00:01:01,251 --> 00:01:03,531
Come on, I know there's an animal
somewhere inside you.
11
00:01:03,704 --> 00:01:05,864
This is supposed to be an induction!
12
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,424
I thought I'd be walking round
the gym in a duffle coat with
13
00:01:08,584 --> 00:01:10,064
somebody showing me how to work
those machines.
14
00:01:10,092 --> 00:01:12,692
OK now, I want us to concentrate on
some reaction training. Oh.
15
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:16,753
What I want you to do is stand with
your hands by your sides and just
16
00:01:16,848 --> 00:01:20,208
when you think I least expect it,
try and punch me in the face.
17
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:22,454
No, I am not going to punch
you in the face.
18
00:01:22,574 --> 00:01:24,134
Would you mind not hitting me.
19
00:01:24,254 --> 00:01:25,454
What's wrong Stephanie?
20
00:01:25,614 --> 00:01:28,214
Frightened you might trigger
a bit of testosterone to start
21
00:01:28,374 --> 00:01:30,374
running through your veins?
Now where's Marcus?
22
00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:34,134
When I booked this induction,
I asked for Marcus.
23
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,334
Ooooh! Got the hots for Marcus have
we, Stephanie?
24
00:01:36,454 --> 00:01:37,714
Yeah, well we did have a date,
25
00:01:37,774 --> 00:01:40,014
not that it's any of your business,
is it?
26
00:01:40,174 --> 00:01:43,014
So, big Marcus is a big gay
boy after all.
27
00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:44,814
I did wonder.
28
00:01:44,934 --> 00:01:47,054
Ow! Will you stop hitting me!
29
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:49,774
That's better. Now use that anger
and try and punch me.
30
00:01:49,894 --> 00:01:51,734
I am not going to punch you!
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00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:58,774
"Stephanie and Marcus
sitting in a tree, K I S S I N..."
32
00:01:58,894 --> 00:01:59,894
Oh!
33
00:02:06,094 --> 00:02:07,494
Hello?
34
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,974
Sorry about that, I've got an air
conditioning unit in bits.
35
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,934
The inside of me shed
looks like the Starship Compromise.
36
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:19,334
The what? You know, from Star Wars.
Oh, right.
37
00:02:19,494 --> 00:02:21,374
Oh, did your friend find you this
morning? Who?
38
00:02:21,494 --> 00:02:23,094
Big fellah, short hair.
39
00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:25,934
I think he said his name were
Stephanie.
40
00:02:27,094 --> 00:02:28,254
That can't be right.
41
00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,414
Oh my God!
42
00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,214
Right, let's get this shifted.
43
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:35,814
I said to Mrs Crabbe this were
a ridiculous place to put this.
44
00:02:35,934 --> 00:02:37,114
She told you to put it here?
45
00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:38,054
Yeah.
46
00:02:38,214 --> 00:02:41,134
I told her this were the only
wheelchair access to the club.
47
00:02:41,254 --> 00:02:42,734
I don't know, between you and me,
48
00:02:42,894 --> 00:02:45,374
I sometimes wonder what
goes on in that woman's head.
49
00:02:49,054 --> 00:02:52,054
Sally, we've got a really busy day
today,
50
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,574
so I'm going to need you to be
absolutely on the ball.
51
00:02:54,694 --> 00:02:56,454
You know you can rely on me.
52
00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:57,974
What's the ETA on the VIP?
53
00:03:00,094 --> 00:03:01,454
A-OK.
54
00:03:01,574 --> 00:03:03,614
What does that mean?
55
00:03:03,774 --> 00:03:05,474
I thought that's how you
wanted to speak?
56
00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:09,014
Sally, who have we got visiting The
Spa today?
57
00:03:09,134 --> 00:03:10,214
I don't know.
58
00:03:10,374 --> 00:03:13,054
You do know, because when I told
you, you made a little joke
59
00:03:13,174 --> 00:03:14,694
and you said 'The One And Only'.
60
00:03:16,374 --> 00:03:17,454
The one and only?
61
00:03:18,934 --> 00:03:20,854
Well, if you can't remember either!
62
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,574
Chesney Hawkes, we've got the pop
singer Chesney Hawkes coming today.
63
00:03:25,694 --> 00:03:27,454
Oh, yes, of course!
64
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:28,494
Finally.
65
00:03:28,654 --> 00:03:32,134
Oh, Bolek, you'll never guess what,
Chesney Hawkes is coming here today.
66
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,154
- What is Chesney's hawk?
- Don't you remember him?
67
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:39,214
He's a pop star, he was
like Justin Bieber with a mole.
68
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,454
A singer with a hawk and a mole?
69
00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:46,454
We have a similar
person in Poland, Adolf Dabrowski
70
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,614
and his singing pigs.
71
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:49,734
Beautiful harmonies.
72
00:03:51,854 --> 00:03:55,654
Alison, are we good to go or are you
still eating breakfast?
73
00:03:55,814 --> 00:04:00,134
Oh, this, um, this isn't mine.
I got it for you.
74
00:04:01,814 --> 00:04:04,534
I don't take milk
and I don't do carbs after midday.
75
00:04:04,654 --> 00:04:06,174
Sally, can I get some black coffee?
76
00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:07,454
I'll get this.
77
00:04:07,574 --> 00:04:09,054
Thanks, Bolek.
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00:04:09,174 --> 00:04:10,094
Alison?
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00:04:10,254 --> 00:04:12,414
I'll eat that.
Shame for it to go to waste.
80
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,094
Hmm, lovely.
81
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,334
Alison!
82
00:04:22,494 --> 00:04:24,374
Oh, lovely.
83
00:04:24,494 --> 00:04:26,094
Yeah, I'm fine now Eric, thanks.
84
00:04:26,254 --> 00:04:28,214
Any other problems,
just give me a ring.
85
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:29,414
That's why I'm here.
86
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:30,814
Thank you, I appreciate it.
87
00:04:32,214 --> 00:04:36,414
Oh, Sally, do you have
Trevor Dobbs's mobile number?
88
00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:38,014
Trevor Dobbsiz?
89
00:04:38,174 --> 00:04:40,014
Yeah, the lad in the wheelchair
that was here
90
00:04:40,174 --> 00:04:43,694
yesterday as part of this
Hertfordshire Heroes thing.
91
00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,254
He said he might be
interested in personal training.
92
00:04:46,414 --> 00:04:48,614
I don't think his name was
Trevor Dobbsiz.
93
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:51,374
No, his name's not Trevor Dobbsiz.
94
00:04:51,534 --> 00:04:54,814
I asked for Trevor Dobbs's number,
the number of Trevor Dobbs.
95
00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,574
Oh, was there more than one of them?
96
00:04:56,694 --> 00:04:58,334
More than one what?
97
00:04:58,454 --> 00:05:00,214
More than one Trevor Dobbsiz?
98
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,974
No, no, Trevor Dobbs.
99
00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:07,694
Thick-set lad, about sixteen,
saved a dog from a burning building.
100
00:05:07,854 --> 00:05:09,974
I don't remember a dog being
here yesterday
101
00:05:10,134 --> 00:05:12,894
and we don't have a member
called Trevor Dobbsiz.
102
00:05:13,054 --> 00:05:15,774
Trevor Dobbs!
Christ, how many times?!
103
00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:17,534
Sally, I, Sally, Sally...
104
00:05:17,654 --> 00:05:19,854
What the hell is going on out here?
105
00:05:20,974 --> 00:05:23,854
Nothing, I just accidentally
raised my voice and...
106
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:27,734
Oh, you accidentally raised
your voice, Marcus? Interesting.
107
00:05:27,854 --> 00:05:29,294
Well, accidents do happen,
108
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,174
we should perhaps remember that
during your trial this afternoon.
109
00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:35,014
It's not a trial, Alison,
it's mediation.
110
00:05:36,374 --> 00:05:38,614
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout.
111
00:05:38,774 --> 00:05:41,694
No, I'm sorry, I'm just feeling
a bit delicate today.
112
00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:46,494
If I find a mobile number
for Alan Dobbsiz, I'll let you know.
113
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:51,814
Trevor Dobbs. Thank you Sally.
114
00:05:54,614 --> 00:05:56,254
Is everything OK?
115
00:05:56,414 --> 00:06:00,814
Yeah, I just found out half an hour
ago about the death of Mrs Abbot.
116
00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:02,614
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Sally.
117
00:06:02,774 --> 00:06:04,974
Let us know
if there's anything we can do.
118
00:06:05,134 --> 00:06:09,414
I'm fine, it was, well it was just
a bit of a shock, that's all.
119
00:06:10,614 --> 00:06:11,854
Who was Mrs Abbot?
120
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,534
Harry Potter
and the Half Blood Prince.
121
00:06:16,694 --> 00:06:18,494
I know, I shouldn't get involved,
but...
122
00:06:23,894 --> 00:06:27,094
Basically the plan is to put him
on trial,
123
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:30,934
prove that we're not responsible for
his accident and then get him out.
124
00:06:31,054 --> 00:06:32,134
On trial?
125
00:06:32,254 --> 00:06:34,134
Well, you know what I mean.
126
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,294
The problem is,
since he went in that chair,
127
00:06:36,414 --> 00:06:37,654
he thinks he's fireproof.
128
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,054
Which is ironic actually,
because if there was a fire,
129
00:06:40,174 --> 00:06:41,734
he'd probably be the first to go.
130
00:06:41,894 --> 00:06:44,814
Alison, I don't want this
mediation to turn into some
131
00:06:44,934 --> 00:06:46,374
sort of kangaroo court.
132
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:48,614
Who did you get to chair this thing?
133
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,174
Um, I'm sorry?
134
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:52,254
The independent mediator,
who did you get?
135
00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:56,374
Independent mediator, er...
136
00:06:57,894 --> 00:06:59,774
Alison, you have got to be kidding.
137
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:03,174
What? What?
I just can't remember her name.
138
00:07:04,294 --> 00:07:07,894
Er, she's a local magistrate.
139
00:07:09,414 --> 00:07:11,694
OK. That's good.
140
00:07:11,854 --> 00:07:14,574
Although we're not putting this
guy on trial, is that understood?
141
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:15,934
Absolutely.
142
00:07:16,094 --> 00:07:18,174
This Local Hero thing,
is it going OK?
143
00:07:18,294 --> 00:07:19,334
Yes.
144
00:07:19,494 --> 00:07:22,774
Um, we had the winner in yesterday,
a teenage boy in a wheelchair.
145
00:07:22,894 --> 00:07:24,494
Always a great photo op.
146
00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:28,094
And we've got the pop singer
Chesney Hawkes coming here to
147
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:31,094
The Spa before he goes to
the awards show to perform
148
00:07:31,254 --> 00:07:34,894
a medley of his hit while people
are having a step class.
149
00:07:35,014 --> 00:07:37,094
A bit naff, but it was Vron's idea.
150
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:39,454
Oh, that's great, it's really great.
151
00:07:39,614 --> 00:07:42,174
Yeah, I thought of it first,
but Vron said it out loud,
152
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:44,494
so my idea, basically.
153
00:07:44,654 --> 00:07:47,214
You really need to be courting more
celebrity members, Alison,
154
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,654
it's great for business.
155
00:07:48,814 --> 00:07:51,494
Well,
we once had Russ Abbot use the cafe.
156
00:07:53,054 --> 00:07:54,454
I don't know who that is.
157
00:07:54,614 --> 00:07:56,734
OK, I got a meeting at head
office,
158
00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:00,454
if I'm not back by three, start
without me, but I won't be long.
159
00:08:00,574 --> 00:08:01,494
No problem.
160
00:08:06,574 --> 00:08:08,734
What exactly happened to you, Vron?
161
00:08:08,894 --> 00:08:11,414
I told the client I was training to
punch me in the face.
162
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,574
Why on earth did you do that?
163
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,014
Because it was a boxing session.
164
00:08:16,174 --> 00:08:18,134
I just hope
he wasn't as rough with Marcus.
165
00:08:18,294 --> 00:08:20,134
Did he have a session with
Marcus too?
166
00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:21,694
You could say that.
167
00:08:21,854 --> 00:08:26,814
Stephen, or 'Stephanie' to
his friends, and Marcus had a date.
168
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,694
I'm sorry Davina,
but Marcus is definitely a gaylord.
169
00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:33,854
I were once very badly
punched in the face by a kangaroo.
170
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,454
It was a side show at a fun fair.
171
00:08:37,614 --> 00:08:40,414
Go three rounds with a kangaroo
and win a leg of pork.
172
00:08:41,694 --> 00:08:45,054
Knocked seven bells of shite
out of me, did that kangaroo.
173
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:47,634
I went through the whole of the 70's
not being able to watch
174
00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:49,414
Skippy without having flashbacks.
175
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:58,134
Ali! I was just thinking about you.
176
00:08:58,294 --> 00:09:01,774
I'm in Xander's with Bernard,
my accountant.
177
00:09:01,894 --> 00:09:04,334
He's just had a sneezing fit
178
00:09:04,494 --> 00:09:07,814
and his melon balls almost ended
up wearing his wig.
179
00:09:07,934 --> 00:09:09,294
Come over, babes.
180
00:09:09,414 --> 00:09:10,814
I haven't got time.
181
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,534
I was wondering if you can help me,
182
00:09:12,694 --> 00:09:17,174
I need to find someone to chair this
mediation between the club
183
00:09:17,334 --> 00:09:19,774
and Marcus,
you know the one in the wheelchair.
184
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:23,094
Oh yeah, I remember you telling me
about this.
185
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:26,974
Sure, babe, absolutely no problem.
Really?
186
00:09:27,055 --> 00:09:30,335
I was thinking on the lines
of a magistrate or someone.
187
00:09:30,495 --> 00:09:32,535
What you need, babes, is
someone admired
188
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,800
and respected in the community.
Well, yeah.
189
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,000
Someone impartial, mature,
professional
190
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,800
and available at short notice.
Absolutely.
191
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,320
What time's the mediation?
192
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,000
Three o'clock.
193
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,520
I'm all over it, babes. Leave it to
me.
194
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,680
You sure you can organise
this, Ginny?
195
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,880
I can't be let down on this today.
196
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:54,480
Ali, sixteen years we've been best
mates, have I ever let you down?
197
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,520
Frequently.
198
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,800
Well, not this time, babes.
199
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,080
Listen, I've got to go,
but don't you worry about a thing.
200
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,800
I'll speak to you later.
Oh, Ginny, thanks.
201
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,120
No problem, babes.
202
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,840
Now, where were we?
203
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,400
How many people are you expecting?
I'm not sure.
204
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,000
I'm going to have to play it by ear.
205
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,920
It's a private mediation,
but we will need witnesses here.
206
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,520
Well, maybe I should borrow
Davina's whale music.
207
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:36,200
Do you not think mats on the floor
might be better than chairs?
208
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,880
What? For the meditation.
209
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,400
Mediation.
210
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,600
Oh, right. I see now. I've got you.
211
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,240
What's mediation?
212
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,560
Marcus was trying to sue us
at one point for the accident
213
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,560
he says he sustained at work.
214
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,440
Well that's obviously fallen
through,
215
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:55,960
because he's agreed to mediation.
216
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,480
Oh, so he's not on trial then?
217
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,600
No. Course not. Who said that?
218
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,920
I've arranged for a special
independent mediator to
219
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,760
preside over the whole meeting.
220
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,960
The last thing we need is for this
to turn into some
221
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,320
kind of ridiculous circus.
222
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,520
Oh, I assume this isn't her then.
223
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,040
I wonder who it is.
224
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,240
You're not expecting
anyone on a horse are you, Vron?
225
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,380
Not today.
226
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,600
Oh, this is Ginny.
227
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,200
But why she is dressed
as a Santa Klaus, I don't know.
228
00:11:41,107 --> 00:11:43,247
Excuse me, excuse me.
229
00:11:43,271 --> 00:11:46,491
Oh, is it true that Chesney Hawkes
is coming to The Spa?
230
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:49,492
Yes. And apparently
he is also bringing a mole.
231
00:11:50,572 --> 00:11:51,892
I am looking forward to this.
232
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,830
Oh, not as much as me.
233
00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:56,950
Er, is there any way at all I could
meet him? Who?
234
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:59,910
Chesney Hawkes.
Oh, I'm his biggest fan.
235
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:04,030
I've got all his albums, I've seen
him 23 times in concert.
236
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,150
I've got every piece of Chesney
Hawkes memorabilia ever produced.
237
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,070
And although I don't know where
he lives now,
238
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:11,030
I do know his last three
previous addresses.
239
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,030
I don't know whether to give you
a round of applause or call
the police.
240
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,270
What in God's name are you doing?
241
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:21,030
Babes, I am so sorry,
I totally lost track of time.
242
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,470
I mean what are you doing
here on a horse dressed as a judge?
243
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:27,470
Well, I had a few too many glasses
of red with Bernard, and while
244
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:31,070
I am not pissed, babes, I thought it
better not to bring the Range Rover.
245
00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:33,470
Shall I tether your horse,
Mrs Trench?
246
00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:35,990
Oh, would you Derek?
That's very kind of you.
247
00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:37,270
Eric.
248
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,790
Lovely, yeah. Thank you.
249
00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:41,470
Why are you dressed as a judge?
250
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,910
Paulette my friend who
I thought was a dead cert for this
251
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:47,150
mediation gig is on a little four
day trip to Marrakech.
252
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:49,910
Now I thought that was next week,
because I know Howard,
253
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,470
her husband, is sitting in the Lords
this week, but...
254
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:55,950
Ginny. Why are you dressed as a
judge?
255
00:12:56,110 --> 00:13:02,270
As you know, babes, I'm not actually
a qualified magistrate, but...
256
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,710
You have got to be joking.
257
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,550
But, hear me out,
when my friends Paulette
258
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:10,390
and Howard were going through
a bit of a sticky patch last year,
259
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,350
I was there every bit of the way for
them and I pulled them through it.
And then it struck me,
260
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,750
the person we were describing over
the phone was me.
261
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:19,870
Impartial, mature, professional.
262
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,790
Oh, I'm sorry, babe,
263
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:26,630
I knew I shouldn't have had that
bottle of Prosecco to myself.
264
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,270
Or those garlic prawns.
265
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,950
I appreciate the sentiment, Ginny,
but there is absolutely no way
266
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:34,710
you are presiding over this
in-house mediation.
267
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:35,990
No way.
268
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:43,150
Order! I will have order in court.
Pray continue.
269
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:47,110
And furthermore, I have always found
Marcus to be not only honest
270
00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:52,070
and truthful in the time I've
known him, but also in possession
271
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:55,830
of one of the purest auras I've ever
had the pleasure of cleansing.
272
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,190
Thank you, Mystic Meg.
273
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:04,030
So, Marcus, do you have any other
character witnesses?
274
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:05,430
No. OK.
275
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:06,990
But I would like to point out...
276
00:14:07,110 --> 00:14:08,830
Order! Order in court, I say!
277
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:10,830
You will have your time to speak,
278
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:14,470
but first I must hear from the
prosecution.
279
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:16,430
Well first of all,
I'm not the prosecution,
280
00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:18,830
because nobody here is being
prosecuted.
281
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,630
Marcus, you were asked
if you would like to have a witness
282
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,310
and you said "yes."
283
00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:27,070
I personally think eight is
a little excessive,
284
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:31,310
but I would like to thank our very
enthusiastic guest for stepping in.
285
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,710
I will take up as little
of your time as possible.
286
00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,150
Well I've got all day.
287
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:36,190
Order! Order!
288
00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:40,710
We have every sympathy for Mr Wells
289
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:44,030
and the injury that he sustained
through his own negligence...
290
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,670
That's not been proved. Order!
291
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:52,910
Oh, dear. I think I've marked this
table.
292
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,790
I have a star witness who will
testify to the fact that
293
00:14:57,950 --> 00:15:03,310
Marcus Wells can in fact walk
completely unaided.
294
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:08,110
Oh, there you are. I've been
looking for you everywhere.
295
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,830
Is it all right if I take a pew?
296
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,150
Oh my God!
297
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,390
No, it is not all right,
this is a private meeting.
298
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:14,590
Would you mind leaving?
299
00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:17,950
I've heard what's been going on.
I'm here to support him.
300
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:19,910
Do you know this person?
301
00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:20,950
Er, kind of.
302
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:23,030
"Kind of?!" Oh charming!
303
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,830
I don't call a romantic dinner
for two in a Berni Inn banquette
304
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:29,230
with coffee at your place after
"kind of" knowing someone.
305
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:33,070
Would the gentleman kindly sit down
and shut his cake-hole!
306
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,390
OK, sit down and be quiet.
307
00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:37,830
Come and sit here.
It's just getting good.
308
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:42,350
Call Rose Cearney.
309
00:15:42,470 --> 00:15:43,590
Call Rose Cearney.
310
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,630
Call Rose Cearney.
311
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,790
Call Rose Cearney.
312
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:50,390
You, that's you.
You need to stand up.
313
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:57,310
Rose, I asked you if you recalled
ever seeing a certain
314
00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:00,910
member of staff walking without
the use of a wheelchair.
315
00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:03,150
And you said, "yes."
316
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,790
That's right.
Order!
317
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:10,190
Can you point to that
member of staff please?
318
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,190
No. What? No I can't.
319
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:15,390
Why not?
Because he ain't here.
320
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:20,150
The member of staff we talked about
was Marcus Wells. That's right.
321
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,390
That's Marcus Wells.
322
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,230
Is it?
323
00:16:24,390 --> 00:16:27,830
I'm sorry, darling,
I always thought your name was Jeff.
324
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:28,950
It's OK.
325
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,870
For God's sake! Have you been
listening to any of this?
326
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,470
Can I sit down now?
327
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:36,310
That's inadmissible evidence.
328
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,550
I know, I've served on nearly
a dozen juries.
329
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:39,990
Why does that not surprise us?
330
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:42,230
And what exactly do you
mean by that?
331
00:16:42,390 --> 00:16:44,470
Oh, come off it,
why are you even a member here?
332
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,070
You're not exactly addicted to
exercise, are you?
333
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:48,830
You only come here for an argument.
334
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,510
You're the sort of person who
hangs around busy road junctions
335
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,670
hoping there'll be an accident.
All right, that's about enough!
336
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:57,670
I'm sick and tired of coming here
and getting abused!
337
00:16:57,830 --> 00:17:00,150
Oi, sit down wide-load,
before someone sits you down.
338
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,630
What did you just call me?
339
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,390
Can we take this outside?
340
00:17:03,550 --> 00:17:05,390
Mrs Wylde, would you like to step
out with me?
341
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:08,110
It's Ms Wylde. I'm not Mrs Wylde, I'm
Ms Wylde.
342
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,670
Just shut up!
Everybody just shut up!
343
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,190
Look, the point is...
344
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:25,270
I never wanted to sue The Spa, I
never wanted anything,
345
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:27,590
except to keep my job.
346
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:31,350
I know you want me out,
Alison, that's obvious.
347
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,910
You do everything you can to
make my life difficult here.
348
00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:39,310
You do everything you can to make me
leave, but...
349
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,950
..I am good at my job.
350
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,790
Even with the weight, even with the
chair,
351
00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,670
I'm good at motivating people.
352
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:56,390
I just wish sometimes I could
motivate myself.
353
00:18:03,630 --> 00:18:08,350
And the winner of best performance
in a wheelchair is Marcus Wells.
354
00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,910
Let's get to the nub of this,
shall we?
355
00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:13,270
Marcus,
how far can you walk unaided?
356
00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:15,350
I can't.
357
00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,230
I can't walk in any way that puts
pressure on my spine.
358
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,790
I need either crutches or a chair.
359
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:23,510
So you wouldn't be able to walk
if I did this?!
360
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:26,470
Leave him alone!
361
00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:28,910
I won't leave him alone,
he's my boyfriend.
362
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,590
He's not my boyfriend!
I only met him once.
363
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,830
Eric, play the CCTV footage.
364
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:48,230
Explain that if you can, Mr Wells.
365
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,230
Um, that's not him.
366
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:53,910
For God's sake, you again! That is
conclusive proof.
367
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:56,430
No no, she's right, that's not me.
368
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:59,190
That's Alan Dobbsiz,
the Hertfordshire Hero.
369
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:00,590
Trevor Dobbs!
370
00:19:01,910 --> 00:19:03,830
Alison, what the hell is going on?!
371
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:07,470
Get you back in your chair.
372
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:13,430
There appears to have been
a little misunderstanding.
373
00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:15,510
There's no misunderstanding.
374
00:19:15,710 --> 00:19:18,930
You don't have to keep trying to
get rid of me, Alison,
because do you know what?
375
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,350
I resign.
376
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:21,750
Now wait a minute, Marcus...
377
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:26,510
No no no, I'm sorry Costas, I can't
keep working with this psychopath!
378
00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:29,910
And to be honest, I can't believe
anybody else can either.
379
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,890
Why don't we go back to my place
and I'll give you a blanket bath?
380
00:19:34,910 --> 00:19:36,590
Please, just leave me alone!
381
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:45,190
I still say he's not disabled.
382
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,270
The man is in a wheelchair, Alison!
383
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:49,230
Anybody can buy a wheelchair!
384
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:52,270
You don't get it, do you?
You just don't get it.
385
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:54,950
It's only fair to warn you,
we have one club member who has
386
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,030
presented a dossier
full of complaints to head office.
387
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,990
Miss Bergita Wylde.
388
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:01,270
Ms Bergita Wylde.
389
00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:02,910
Sorry? Nothing.
390
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,710
Now I wouldn't usually pander
to blackmail,
391
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,230
but she's got us over a barrel.
392
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:10,870
She's made it very clear that she
has every intention of going
393
00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:13,110
to the press unless we meet
a list of her demands.
394
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:18,750
"One year's free membership,
unlimited free treatments,
395
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:22,230
"a designated parking space and free
food and drink in the cafe."
396
00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:24,830
Well, that last one will definitely
put us out of business.
397
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,630
Oh, and she has one more demand.
398
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:32,350
Which is slightly more bizarre.
399
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,630
We have a pop star visiting The Spa,
yes?
400
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:39,230
♪ I am the one and only
401
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:44,190
♪ Nobody I'd rather be
402
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:47,390
♪ I am the one and only
403
00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:51,950
♪ You can't take that away from me
404
00:20:57,318 --> 00:21:26,016
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