All language subtitles for American_Housewife_S04E12.Wildflower Girls.eng

Day 6,593 of parenthood.

Odd-numbered day. You get first pick.

I'll take Anna-Kat.

Okay, I'll check in on Taylor.

- Can you take Oliver?
- Uhp! You know the rule...

when you pick first, you also
have to take Oliver.

Whoever said kids grow up fast
is an idiot.

They grow up slow, Greg.

Real slow.

Oh, buenas noches, Mrs. Otto.

Cooper. You have 10 houses.

Get out of mine.

We're actually having an
important conversation.

Is this conversation trying to get me

to buy you that Gucci belt?

Because I'm running out of
curse words to put before "no."

No, actually,

we're talking about that troubled kid

who called in to Teen Help Line.

We've got an idea who it is.

He said everyone thinks he's Superman.

Well, this kid Trevor's always
wearing a Superman T-shirt.

Shocker... he doesn't have any friends.

So, we're going to befriend him.

I'm actually proud of you.

I'm proud of us, too, Mom.

Does that mean you'll buy me that belt?

[Bleep] you and the horse
you rode in on, you [bleep]!

No!

Oh. She found a new one.

Friendly reminder to complete
your life-skills list.

If you don't finish it,
you don't go to prom.

I did the important ones.

I changed the windshield-wiper fluid,

and I switched around fruit
stickers at the grocery store.

I got a Honeycrisp for the price
of a Granny Smith.

That one was clearly your mother's.

Plus, I sent my application
in to Carnegie Mellon,

and I did my audition tape.

I even noticed I spelled
"Carnegie" wrong,

and then I fixed it.

Then I noticed I spelled "Mellon" wrong,

and then I fixed that.

And then I saw I spelled
"Carnegie" wrong

in a different way,
and then I fixed that.

I'm doing great.

Have you prepared
for your alumni interview?

Dude, that's like a month away!

- And yes, I'm all ready for it.
- You mean you...

Yes! Whatever you're about to
say, I did it! I did everything!

Okay! Stop yelling at me!

Stop making me yell at you!

Do all your friends yell at
their fathers?

You're getting off easy.

Olivia Andal slaps her dad in public.

Time to get to bed.

First, I need you to sign
a permission slip really quick.

What's it for?

And why are you showing it to me

like Taylor shows me her report card?

My new friends invited me to
join their scout troop,

The Wildflower Girls.

- That sounds great.
- Wait. Do you promise?

Say it. Say you promise.

Fine. I promise.

Anna-Kat!

Sage, Nancy, and Tara Summers
are the troop leaders.

You know I can't stand them.

Well, what difference does it make?

You're not in the troop. I am.

Because those terrible moms
and their daughters

are bound to be a bad influence on you.

Plus, they're going to e-mail me,
and want me to volunteer,

and I get migraines if I have
to fake smile too long.

Unh-unh. Remember?

You promised.

A mother's promise means nothing.

Good night.

Taylor's upset with me.

Anna-Kat's upset with me.

- How's Oliver?
- Regular terrible.

Hmm.

Other than the Mother's Day gifts

they force them to make me at school,

I'm not sure what
I'm getting out of all this.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

04x12 - Wildflower Girls

I'm feeling guilty about
not letting Anna-Kat

sign up for Wildflower Girls.

At what age can I stop
putting my kids first?

Right when they can talk.

If you can say "milk,"
you can get it yourself.

My kids come first.

Do I miss having
the master bedroom? Sure.

But they wanted a climbing wall.
Who am I to say no?

Uh, their mother.

You're making your kids soft.

They'd never survive in the wild.

My kids are not going to be in the wild.

You don't know that.
People end up in the wild.

Can you guys shut up? I'm trying
to work something out.

I think you should let Anna-Kat join.

Kids are only young for so long,
and life is hard enough.

Give them what they want.

Electronics, video games, candy.

Make it rain.

Don't listen to her, Katie.
You can't give kids everything.

'Cause in the wild, there's nothing.

Sorry, Doris, Angela might be right.

Oh.

You mean you're actually
gonna take my suggestion

over hers for once?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.

Excuse me.

I win! I win!

I win! I win!

You know that point in life

where you think you've outgrown
your friends?

This is it.

Take that.

Look at that kid.

Gucci belt. His life must be great.

A Gucci belt doesn't make you happy.

A limited-edition one worn by
Bradley Cooper at the Oscars.

Now, that's happiness.

I can't believe my parents
won't buy me one.

They say I can't wear anything
on my body over 500 bucks

unless it's braces.

Oh, there he is.

Don't mention Teen Help Line.

Or that he wants to say
adios to his vida.

Hey there, Superman.
What's the haps in Metropolis?

Uh, what's going on?

Nothing, muchacho.

We just thought maybe
we should all hang out.

You guys want to hang out with me?

I know. Isn't that great?

No. It's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

Look, guys, it's a Wednesday, all right?

A new comic book just dropped,
so take a hike.

But we're gonna be your friends.

I don't want to be friends
with you morons.

You've got a stupid face.

And you just generally suck.

I guess we're just gonna have to
try harder tomorrow.

Let's not be hasty.

Maybe we should let nature
take its course here.

I can't believe Mom changed her mind

and is letting you be a Wildflower Girl.

She would've never done that for me.

Well, you didn't have the benefit

of a terrible older sister
to make you look good.

Yeah.

Wait.

I just got off the phone
with Carnegie Mellon.

There's an alumnus coming
through Westport tomorrow,

and they wanted to move up
your interview.

- I said yes.
- Why would you move it up?

Because you're all prepared.

Plus, it's good to get in early.

And there's even better news...

your interview is with Brecken Phillips.

- The Broadway guy?
- Yeah, he's an alum.

And your interview's in the afternoon.

Or, as they say in the theatre,
a matinee.

Just so you know,

people outside this house
think I'm entertaining.

So, you're not ready at all, huh?

No. I just told Dad I was
to get him off my back.

What am I gonna do?

You're just gonna have to cram for it.

You're right. If I can get
through all of "Harry Potter"

in a weekend, I can do this.

You read all of "Harry Potter"
in one weekend?

It's a book?

Anna-Kat's here!

Katie, it's so great that
Anna-Kat's joining the troop.

Yes, you must be so relieved

she'll finally have some
positive female role models.

- Mm.
- Don't feel obligated to stay.

No, I'll be here.

Okay, Wildflower Girls,

let me see those wildflower smiles.

Ah.

The girls are learning to make
to make egg parachutes

so they can earn
their aeronautics badges.

Now, you already have your
parachute attached to your egg.

Now let's launch them and
watch them float down safely.

Three, two, one.

Liftoff!

Yay!

- Great job, you guys.
- Really good.

Hortensia, clean up!

Okay, so badge time.

Badge time?

All of the eggs broke.

Aren't you going to make them
try it until it works?

Why would we?

To teach them about a job well done.

Ew.

We always hand out badges,
no matter what.

Thank you.

And this is for you, little lady.

Thank you!

Anna-Kat didn't earn
any of those badges.

Oh, relax, Katie.

It looks better for the pictures
if all the girls match.

And what kind of life lesson is that?

Uh, a perfect one.

All right, ladies.

Smile like you'll never have
to worry about money.

Hortensia, snap-snap.

I'm gonna pick out some shoes
that go with my new sash.

Greg, what are you doing?

Uh, reorganizing the junk drawer.

Ugh.

We've got bigger problems around here.

They give Anna-Kat's troop
badges for doing nothing.

I had $20 in dimes
stacked up right here.

I can't pull her out because I promised

she could be a part of it.

- But...
- Here we go.

...I am going to host the next meeting

and teach the girls how to make lasagna.

Suspiciously wholesome.

And I'll tell the girls
to take off their sashes

so they don't get messy

and then stuff them in
the garbage disposal.

and grind 'em up.

There's my girl!

Wouldn't it be more
inspirational for Anna-Kat

if you actually teach the girls to cook

and make them earn their cooking badge?

Mm-hmm. Probably the way to go.

It's good that we workshop these things.

Hey.

Can we get rid of these phone chargers?

One day, the PalmPilot is coming back.

And when it does,

you bet your ass
Katie Otto's gonna be ready.

Back in the drawer.

What do you think?

I took the laces out of my Converse.

- That's cool, right?
- Not now, Anna-Kat.

I'm trying to memorize facts
about Carnegie Mellon.

Did you know there's no such
thing as a Carnegie melon?

I know I told you to cram,

but turns out you don't
have to work that hard.

What are you talking about?

At my Wildflower Girls meeting,

they taught me all you need
to do is show up, smile,

and the world will deliver.

You're a good smiler.

I am a good smiler.

There you go.

The bee comes to the wildflower.

Not the other way around.

So, I'm the bee.

That makes a lot of sense.

No, you're the wildflower.

I'll be honest, I didn't even
get it when I was the bee..

I don't know about this.

Trevor wasn't into it last time.

He was just pushing us away

because he has difficulty
managing his feelings.

Textbook depression.

It's up to us to follow through.

It could save his life.

If you say so.

Hey, man.

Can't you losers get your own lives?

We're just letting you know
you're not alone.

Yeah, because you two idiots
keep showing up.

Zuckerberg, Gates, Jobs.

What do they all have in common?

I've been all of them for Halloween?

No, they were all reclusive
nerds when they were young

and became titans of industry.

I'm harnessing my disdain for
everyone at this crappy school

and using it to fuel
my success later in life.

Later in life?

But you called Teen Help Line.
I talked to you.

I don't even know what
Teen Help Line is.

Now, why don't you make like

lesser-known original
Justice League character

Martian Manhunter and disappear?

I could've sworn it was him,
but maybe I was wrong.

Hey, Justice League, watch out!

Hey!

Dude, hide behind my cape!

Wait! What about my jacket?!

Leave it, leave it!

Leave it!

Okay, Wildflower Girls,

the trick to making
the perfect lasagna is layering.

Let's pay attention.

It goes pasta, meat sauce,
cheese, repeat.

Do it with me.

Look, a lion's friends with a duck.

Aww!

Hello? Who wants their cooking badge?

I do.

Hortensia?

Angela, where are you? You said
you were gonna help me.

Ugh, I had to go to the school.

They accused Sebastian of plagiarizing

just because he copied
an article he found online.

Unh-unh. I'm going to give that
teacher a piece of my mind.

So, you're mad at the teacher
and not at your son who cheated?

What kind of message
does that send to him?

That Mommy's little baby
does no wrong. Pfft.

Oh, no. I listened to the wrong friend.

Can we get our badges now?

No. You can't.

The only person getting a badge
is Hortensia,

because she actually did the work.

What?! Mom!

I don't like not getting what I want.

Yeah!

I hate you, Hortensia.

When I close my eyes,
the entire world disapears,

and I am a bird.

Fly, Hortensia.

Fly.

I am happy to represent Carnegie Mellon

because it gave me
the confidence and skills

to do everything from Stanley Kowalski

to the voice of
bleach-free surface cleaner.

Oh, oh!

Stains, get outta here!

That was you?

Yeah.

So, I-I got to tell you,

the... the music department
was... was a big fan

of your audition tape, and so was I.

Cool.

All right, so, uh, why do you think

Carnegie Mellon is
the right school for you?

Because of the music program.

And what aspects of our music program?

All of them?

A-Are you asking me, or...?

No...?

Okay, all right. Never mind.

Um, so, where do you see
yourself in 10 years?

At Carnegie Mellon.

Okay, we're a four-year program, so...

And a great one.

Yes. Um...

Is there anything else
you'd like to add?

Uh, what you can bring
to... to Carnegie?

Like a pillow and comforter and stuff?

No. Like your philosophy.

Oh! I have one of those.

Um, I'm gonna show up, smile,

and the world will deliver.

The people who made this form

really didn't plan for someone like you.

What is going on here?

We all got 911 texts from our daughters.

Anna-Kat's mom won't give us our badges.

Katie, give the girls their badges.

They did nothing but fool around.

It's okay. You're new here.

Just hand them over,
and we'll forgive you

What kind of world do we live in

where you're so afraid of
disappointing your children?

If they misbehave or don't listen,

they shouldn't be rewarded for it.

I don't follow you. Are you well?

It's never the child's fault nowadays.

It's always the teacher
or the coach or...

It's fine. You just tell me
when to stop.

No!

This is bigger than money.

Just... give me the badges!

That's right. Take it.

Come on. Use your muscles.

Damn you and your poor-person strength!

Mom, you're embarrassing me!

Come on, girls. We're taking you home.

Katie, if you don't give the girls

their cooking badges
at the next meeting,

Anna-Kat is out of the troop.

Yeah, you better go,

because I'm about to earn
my face-slapping badge!

I can't believe you
embarrassed me like that.

You know what?

I'm eating your hidden stash
of 100 Grand bars.

Hey! That's my plant candy!

Stop. Come here.

Sit down.

I know that you're mad,
but you're a big girl now,

so I'm going to explain to you
why I don't like this troop.

And then I'm going to let you decide

what you think that I should do.

- Fair?
- Fair.

It is a bad lesson to teach young girls

that you get something for nothing.

Because outside of a town like this,

you do nothing, you get nothing.

You girls are smarter,
stronger, and better than that.

Do you understand?

I do.

I understand that I want you to
give my friends their badges

and stop embarrassing me.

Hey, where'd they go?

Does everyone know?

Seriously, Katie, there was
a lot of candy here

three days ago.

Well, it was, uh,
nice meeting you, and, uh,

the admissions department
will be in touch soon.

Okay.

Oh, perfect!

I just wasted my afternoon,
and now I got to call AAA.

I meant... "wasted" in a...
different way than you think.

Oh.

I can change it for you.

You know how to change a tire?

Yeah. Pop the trunk.

Put on the parking brake.

All right.

Uh, don't you still need the jack?

You loosen the lug nuts first
so the tire doesn't spin.

Is this a "Parent Trap" situation?

Did the more pragmatic twin tag in

while I was in the bathroom?

No.

Changing a tire was on my list.

Your list?

I'm working on a life-skills
list before I go to college.

- Really?
- Yeah, you know...

...things like how to change a tire,

how to balance a checkbook,
how to unclog a toilet.

Do you know flushable wipes
aren't really flushable?

I did not.

Uh, you know, Taylor,
I-I got to confess,

my impression of you wasn't stellar.

Oh.

You came off as kind of
a one-dimensional person,

but I think I had you pegged wrong.

I'd like to hear more about
this list... and you.

You know, how would you like to
do this interview over again?

That'd be great.

Uh, no, no. Tire first.

I'd help, but
I'm a hand double for Shrek.

It wasn't Trevor, so what do we do now?

Let's just forget about it.
You've done everything you can.

Oh, and don't worry about
the incident in the cafeteria.

My PR guy's already on it.

He had to move a few things
around, but this week,

Derek Jeter's gonna
sit with us at lunch.

Hey, Superman! Think fast!

- Ooh, nice grab!
- All right, I'll see you at practice.

Oh, my God.

Is Will Hansen Superman?

That's the voice on the phone.

Why would he want to end his life?

He's got the sneakers,
the belt, and the watch.

He's rocking full Gucch.

If that's not happiness,
I don't know what is.

Happiness is actually
Gucci sneakers worn by...

Please stop.

...Matt Damon.

You guys, I almost blew
my Carnegie Mellon interview,

but then Brecken Phillips
got a flat tire,

and I changed it for him.

He was super impressed.

Since when do you know
how to change a tire?

It's on that stupid life-skills list

Mom and Dad are forcing her to do.

But that stupid life-skills list

got me one step closer
to Carnegie Mellon.

They're super annoying,
but maybe Mom and Dad

might actually know what
they're talking about.

Huh. They're always telling me
money doesn't buy happiness.

I thought that was just poor talk,

but now I kind of get it.

Are you two saying that
Mom and Dad are sometimes right?

Yeah.

Huh.

I've got to process this
over a Baby Ruth.

Katie!

I hope you brought something
for the kids.

I did.

We're so glad.

We like having Anna-Kat in the troop.

Be a shame if her mother
blew it for her.

Come on up, girls, and get your badges.

- Yeah!
- Yay!

I don't want this badge.

I didn't earn it.

None of us did.

If you want something,
you have to work for it.

Because in the real world,

you don't just get
everything handed to you.

I mean, what if your parents

decide to squander your trust funds

or you want to marry for love?

It happens, ladies.

And what are you gonna do then?

We are smarter, stronger,
and better than that.

I'm not trained in CPR!

Window shopping shouldn't
earn me a hiking badge.

I did not successfully
breed a chinchilla.

Ya sabía cocinar lasaña.

From now on, we don't get badges
unless we earn them.

Right, Wildflower Girls?

Yeah!

Badges!

We don't need no stinking badges!

What do you think you're doing?!

This is madness!

How much is it gonna take for
you to put those sashes back on?

Hmm?

So, you listened to me?

No.

I listened to Taylor and Oliver,

who then told me to listen to you.

And your father said
trickle-down parenting

wouldn't work.

Day 6,596 of parenthood.

Even-numbered day. I get to pick first,
and I choose Oliver.

- No! I want Oliver.
- Sorry.

It's a crazy turn of events
in three days.

Mm.

I have something for you.

It's an integrity badge.

Because you earned it.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Not so fast.

I don't care about
the Baby Ruths so much,

but where are my 100 Grand bars?

You have 10 seconds.