Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,281 --> 00:00:02,382
And thank you for your order.
2
00:00:02,484 --> 00:00:05,531
Guess who just made another sale
from Mrs. O's Lasagna.
3
00:00:05,602 --> 00:00:06,768
Mom, you are a killer!
4
00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:09,778
I'm so proud to have your blood
in my veins. You, less so.
5
00:00:09,841 --> 00:00:11,395
Hey! Because of me,
you're gonna be tall.
6
00:00:11,442 --> 00:00:14,143
And, fun fact, your hair will
grow upwards, like a stovepipe.
7
00:00:14,245 --> 00:00:15,344
Hmm.
8
00:00:15,446 --> 00:00:17,625
So, my girlfriend's dad,
the cardboard box king...
9
00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,362
- Mm-hmm.
- ...his brother is the Jar Czar,
10
00:00:19,431 --> 00:00:21,331
and I negotiated an amazing deal.
11
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,033
I just cut our overhead in half.
12
00:00:23,135 --> 00:00:26,236
Sorry, Anna-Kat,
but my new favorite kid is...
13
00:00:26,338 --> 00:00:27,304
Oliver.
14
00:00:27,406 --> 00:00:28,638
That's cool. I had a good run.
15
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,273
Nice to see you guys bonding
over the business,
16
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:31,608
and, actually, I'm kind of jealous.
17
00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:33,323
I don't have a similar thing
with any of the kids.
18
00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:35,378
We have a thing. You comb
the lice out of my hair.
19
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,013
Once. In second grade.
20
00:00:37,044 --> 00:00:38,377
Hey, I'm trying, Greg.
21
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,554
Mm.
22
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:43,970
Katie, where's the milk?
23
00:00:44,072 --> 00:00:45,171
Where's a condiment?
24
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,207
Where's anything
that's not lasagna-related?
25
00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:48,942
Sorry, but starting a home business
26
00:00:49,044 --> 00:00:50,443
is a lot like having a new baby.
27
00:00:50,546 --> 00:00:52,279
It requires constant attention.
28
00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:53,813
But unlike a baby,
29
00:00:53,882 --> 00:00:55,749
you can't leave your
home business in an Exersaucer
30
00:00:55,851 --> 00:00:57,484
while you play "Candy Crush"
on the toilet.
31
00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:02,889
Hey, you, help me wash the pans
so I can make some more lasagna.
32
00:01:02,991 --> 00:01:04,224
These don't scrub.
33
00:01:04,326 --> 00:01:05,392
The secret to looking rich
34
00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:07,627
is expensive shoes and soft hands.
35
00:01:07,729 --> 00:01:09,539
Touch 'em. They're like
a dolphin's belly.
36
00:01:09,598 --> 00:01:12,098
- Hmm.
- And besides, I don't have time.
37
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,167
Before they let me take calls
at Teen Help Line,
38
00:01:14,269 --> 00:01:16,503
I have to work on my speaking voice.
39
00:01:16,605 --> 00:01:18,138
Apparently, I have this mocking tone
40
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:20,073
where I come across as unsympathetic.
41
00:01:20,175 --> 00:01:21,808
Some people have a punchable face.
42
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,360
You have a punchable voice.
43
00:01:23,446 --> 00:01:25,478
- No, I don't!
- Yes, you do, sweetie.
44
00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:27,347
It goes along
with your punchable demeanor.
45
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,086
How's the college application going?
46
00:01:33,188 --> 00:01:37,157
I haven't... started.
47
00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:38,258
What?
48
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:41,328
These essay questions are too hard!
49
00:01:41,396 --> 00:01:44,030
"How have you positively
influenced others?"
50
00:01:44,132 --> 00:01:46,499
"What is your most significant
accomplishment?"
51
00:01:46,602 --> 00:01:48,401
I'm 18, bruh!
52
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,604
My biggest accomplishment
is a papier-mâché horse
53
00:01:50,706 --> 00:01:51,871
I made in art class.
54
00:01:53,508 --> 00:01:55,108
It has no legs, Taylor.
55
00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:56,202
It's sleeping!
56
00:01:58,013 --> 00:01:59,346
I don't care how hard it is.
57
00:01:59,448 --> 00:02:00,513
You're not leaving this house
58
00:02:00,616 --> 00:02:02,048
until you finish those questions.
59
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:03,316
Too bad one of the questions isn't
60
00:02:03,418 --> 00:02:05,185
"Which family member
is most like Satan?"
61
00:02:05,287 --> 00:02:07,287
You compare me to Satan so much,
it means nothing.
62
00:02:10,926 --> 00:02:12,258
Oh, no.
63
00:02:13,695 --> 00:02:14,594
Mom!
64
00:02:14,696 --> 00:02:15,662
I see it!
65
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:20,500
The weekly poker tournament just
canceled their lasagna order.
66
00:02:20,602 --> 00:02:22,702
Why are all of our clients canceling?
67
00:02:22,804 --> 00:02:23,803
Because of these.
68
00:02:23,905 --> 00:02:26,039
We're being flooded
with bad Yelp reviews.
69
00:02:26,141 --> 00:02:28,508
"I found a fingernail in my lasagna"?
70
00:02:28,577 --> 00:02:29,909
"My son ate Katie's lasagna,
71
00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:31,878
and now he's been institutionalized.
72
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,079
Is there a link?"
73
00:02:33,181 --> 00:02:36,016
Caitlin Bianca Madison,
you're a damn liar!
74
00:02:36,118 --> 00:02:38,151
So is Cathy Brenda McCormick.
75
00:02:38,253 --> 00:02:39,152
Wait.
76
00:02:39,254 --> 00:02:41,888
This one's by Collette Blix-Masters.
77
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:45,291
All of these are posted by women
with the initials CBM.
78
00:02:47,329 --> 00:02:51,097
Chloe Brown Mueller.
79
00:02:53,969 --> 00:02:57,837
This next review will be from
Cynthia Barbara Mendelstein.
80
00:02:57,939 --> 00:02:59,606
I'm making this one Jewish for you.
81
00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,241
- But I'm not...
- Yes, you are.
82
00:03:01,343 --> 00:03:02,876
Fine.
83
00:03:02,978 --> 00:03:04,577
Can I have the high holidays off?
84
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,712
No.
85
00:03:07,149 --> 00:03:10,050
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
86
00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:11,827
04x08 - Women in Business
87
00:03:16,425 --> 00:03:17,791
Hey!
88
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,393
It sucks that we don't have the
same lunch schedule this year.
89
00:03:20,495 --> 00:03:23,463
Yeah. No one else knows how
to make me laugh the way you do.
90
00:03:23,565 --> 00:03:25,598
Plus, you know
how to open the milk carton
91
00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:27,133
without tearing the drinky part.
92
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:28,968
Hey.
93
00:03:30,205 --> 00:03:31,771
Maybe we can ask Principal Ablin
94
00:03:31,873 --> 00:03:34,140
if he can change our schedules
so we can eat together.
95
00:03:34,242 --> 00:03:35,642
He'll never say yes.
96
00:03:35,744 --> 00:03:37,210
He's had it in for me ever since I said
97
00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:39,345
there was no way
he was the Phillie Phanatic.
98
00:03:39,408 --> 00:03:41,195
Well, never hurts to try.
99
00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:44,350
Hey, Principal Ablin, can we...
100
00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:45,685
- No.
- Mm.
101
00:03:45,787 --> 00:03:47,320
I was the Phillie Phanatic.
102
00:03:47,422 --> 00:03:48,555
Yeah, yeah.
103
00:03:48,657 --> 00:03:51,291
- Penny. You forgot your lunch.
- Thanks, Maria.
104
00:03:51,393 --> 00:03:52,859
You know your mother
only wants you to call me
105
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:54,594
"the help" or "sad face."
106
00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:00,633
Bellissima.
107
00:04:05,674 --> 00:04:07,240
- Hi, Anna-Kat.
- Hi, Maria.
108
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:08,808
Principal Ablin.
109
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,286
How did that go? Did I ask her out?
110
00:04:20,388 --> 00:04:21,488
No, you just stood there
111
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,556
looking like someone
who needed an EpiPen.
112
00:04:25,427 --> 00:04:26,626
He really likes her.
113
00:04:26,728 --> 00:04:28,528
Maybe we can use this to our advantage.
114
00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:30,530
Principal Ablin.
115
00:04:30,632 --> 00:04:33,900
You know, we can help
make Maria your girlfriend.
116
00:04:34,002 --> 00:04:35,401
I don't need your help.
117
00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,103
I have mad game.
118
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,006
But just for fun,
119
00:04:40,108 --> 00:04:41,574
why don't you tell me
what your advice would be?
120
00:04:41,676 --> 00:04:42,776
Not so fast.
121
00:04:42,878 --> 00:04:44,878
We're only helping
if you allow Franklin and I
122
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,946
to have the same lunch period.
123
00:04:47,048 --> 00:04:48,715
- Deal.
- Great!
124
00:04:48,817 --> 00:04:51,151
This hunk landed me
with a little playful teasing.
125
00:04:51,253 --> 00:04:53,253
It shows that you're funny
and comfortable with the person.
126
00:04:53,355 --> 00:04:54,621
Oh, that makes sense.
127
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,390
This was more helpful
than my mom's romantic advice...
128
00:04:57,492 --> 00:05:00,360
"A woman? Really?"
129
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,833
Oh.
130
00:05:06,935 --> 00:05:09,235
These reviews are vicious.
131
00:05:09,337 --> 00:05:11,471
This one says
Navy SEALs found your lasagna
132
00:05:11,573 --> 00:05:13,239
in Osama bin Laden's compound.
133
00:05:13,341 --> 00:05:15,575
I have worked my ass off
to grow this business,
134
00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:18,845
and now Chloe is cutting it down
with a few bad Yelp reviews.
135
00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:21,214
Why is she so determined
to destroy your business?
136
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:22,282
I don't know.
137
00:05:22,384 --> 00:05:23,983
Career Day, maybe?
138
00:05:24,186 --> 00:05:26,886
Thank you. Thank you.
139
00:05:26,988 --> 00:05:29,455
Our next speaker is Katie Otto,
140
00:05:29,524 --> 00:05:32,659
who is going to talk about
her poison-in-a-jar business.
141
00:05:32,761 --> 00:05:35,361
It's lasagna in a jar.
142
00:05:42,604 --> 00:05:47,273
Now, kids, I started my company
from scratch,
143
00:05:47,342 --> 00:05:48,975
unlike the previous speaker,
144
00:05:49,077 --> 00:05:52,178
whose husband bought her a store
to keep her busy.
145
00:05:53,281 --> 00:05:58,551
Just like you guys bought
this hamster a wheel to run on.
146
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:01,054
Run, Chloe Brown Hamster!
147
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:02,255
Run!
148
00:06:05,594 --> 00:06:07,794
Okay, if you want people to
start buying your lasagna again,
149
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,662
you need to ask Chloe
to take those reviews down.
150
00:06:09,764 --> 00:06:10,864
She'll never do that.
151
00:06:10,966 --> 00:06:12,031
Then your only course of action
152
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,067
is to destroy her business
in retaliation.
153
00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:15,401
That's the only course of action?
154
00:06:15,503 --> 00:06:16,936
Shh. How?
155
00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:18,705
Steal Maria.
156
00:06:18,807 --> 00:06:20,974
You need more help, and Chloe
can't survive without her.
157
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,542
Isn't that hitting below the belt?
158
00:06:22,644 --> 00:06:24,777
What's wrong
with hitting below the belt?
159
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,080
It hurts the other person
and it's super-funny.
160
00:06:27,182 --> 00:06:29,015
It's how I'm handling
my divorce with Richard.
161
00:06:29,117 --> 00:06:31,784
I'm stealing everybody that
Richard can't live without...
162
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:34,888
his personal assistant,
his driver, his pastry chef...
163
00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:37,223
Oh. You have a dedicated pastry chef?
164
00:06:37,325 --> 00:06:40,226
Yeah. I mean, who else is gonna
bake me fresh croissants
165
00:06:40,328 --> 00:06:42,996
that I can take one bite out of,
then throw to the swans?
166
00:06:43,999 --> 00:06:46,399
Or you could be the bigger person
167
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:48,668
and just let this one go,
because you always t...
168
00:06:49,938 --> 00:06:51,771
You're just waiting
for me to stop talking
169
00:06:51,873 --> 00:06:53,373
so you can do Doris' plan.
170
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:56,009
Ah. I'm so glad we don't have to
play this game anymore.
171
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,297
Oh, hi, Katie.
One moment. I'm with a customer.
172
00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:05,598
Oh.
173
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,258
So, what can I help you with?
174
00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:09,091
"So, what can I help you with?"
175
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:11,626
Why are you doing that to me?
176
00:07:11,695 --> 00:07:13,462
Because your voice is weird.
177
00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:15,330
But not as weird as your face!
178
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,999
So, you free Friday night?
179
00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,468
No.
180
00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:21,737
Oh.
181
00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:26,141
Ablin... what was that?
182
00:07:26,243 --> 00:07:29,077
Uh... I-I have no game.
183
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:31,546
Hmm.
184
00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:36,585
So, Maria, are you happy
working for Chloe?
185
00:07:36,653 --> 00:07:38,720
Every day is like an alligator attack.
186
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:41,456
Well, I just started my own business.
187
00:07:41,558 --> 00:07:44,393
How would you like to come work for me?
188
00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:45,594
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
189
00:07:45,696 --> 00:07:46,828
Yes.
190
00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:47,729
Maria!
191
00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:51,767
What did I tell you
about standing next to mirrors?
192
00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:54,636
One of you is bad enough.
I don't need two.
193
00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:55,804
Oh, my God.
194
00:07:55,906 --> 00:07:58,473
Katie Otto's in my store, as well?
195
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:01,643
All I need now is a UTI
to make this day complete.
196
00:08:01,745 --> 00:08:04,446
Maria, do you have something
you want to say to Chloe?
197
00:08:07,818 --> 00:08:08,717
I...
198
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:09,985
I...
199
00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:14,022
...quit.
200
00:08:14,124 --> 00:08:16,224
You're supposed to say "I quit."
201
00:08:16,326 --> 00:08:17,993
I quit.
202
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:19,428
She quits.
203
00:08:19,496 --> 00:08:21,689
And the best part is,
she's working for me.
204
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,268
Maria!
205
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:28,036
Maria?!
206
00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:30,238
Mariaaaa!!
207
00:08:32,643 --> 00:08:34,867
Hey, Dad, um, I know you're working,
208
00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:37,045
but do you feel like
doing a puzzle with me?
209
00:08:37,147 --> 00:08:38,953
I thought you said
you were too old for puzzles.
210
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:41,216
I would never say something like that.
211
00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:44,219
Eh, your exact quote was
"I'm not a little girl anymore.
212
00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:45,520
I hate puzzles.
213
00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:47,789
Stop asking and get off my jock."
214
00:08:47,891 --> 00:08:49,291
Well, it's not about the puzzle.
215
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:50,492
I just want to spend time with you.
216
00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:52,060
Really?
217
00:08:53,297 --> 00:08:55,664
Okay. Let's bond.
218
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,032
Uh, well, since we're hanging out,
219
00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:59,835
um, I have this question
I've been meaning to ask you.
220
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,269
Sure. Shoot.
221
00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:04,940
What do you think is my most
significant accomplishment?
222
00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:07,309
Hmm. That's an interesting
question. I would say...
223
00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,377
Try to keep your answer
to 500 words or less.
224
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:16,418
Oliver, come over here
and meet our new employee.
225
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,219
Maria?
226
00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:18,386
Hey, there, boss.
227
00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:20,655
Ooh, "boss." Goosebumps.
228
00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:23,124
Maria, you don't have to call us "boss."
229
00:09:23,227 --> 00:09:25,160
And you can make eye contact with us.
230
00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:28,296
Really?
231
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,599
And... I don't have to tell you
how great your hair looks
232
00:09:30,701 --> 00:09:31,733
on the hour?
233
00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,768
Of course not.
234
00:09:33,798 --> 00:09:34,703
Maybe.
235
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,505
Mom...
236
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:37,839
why did you hire someone?
237
00:09:37,908 --> 00:09:38,940
Our reviews still suck,
238
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:40,375
which means we're not making any money,
239
00:09:40,477 --> 00:09:42,377
which means it's the worst time
to hire a new employee.
240
00:09:42,479 --> 00:09:44,746
I can help with the reviews, actually.
241
00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:46,381
I know all of Chloe's passwords,
242
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:47,716
so I can just log in to her accounts
243
00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:49,384
and turn them into five stars.
244
00:09:49,453 --> 00:09:51,786
Oliver, she's pulling
her weight already.
245
00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:52,888
You're amazing.
246
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,155
This job...
247
00:09:54,258 --> 00:09:56,391
it's just so different.
248
00:09:56,493 --> 00:09:58,493
It's okay, Maria.
249
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,161
- You're going to...
- No, no. Let me do this.
250
00:10:00,264 --> 00:10:02,597
I need to practice my soothing
voice for Teen Help Line.
251
00:10:05,002 --> 00:10:06,368
Hey, Maria?
252
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,737
We're happy to have you,
and you're doing just great.
253
00:10:08,839 --> 00:10:10,372
Are you being sarcastic?
254
00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:12,674
I don't even know.
255
00:10:14,811 --> 00:10:16,988
- Dessert first today?
- Good idea.
256
00:10:17,058 --> 00:10:18,513
Let's see how high
my blood sugar can go.
257
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:19,781
Oh, I've missed this.
258
00:10:19,883 --> 00:10:21,550
You two!
259
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:24,319
Your advice was terrible!
The deal is off!
260
00:10:24,421 --> 00:10:26,421
I've changed your schedule back.
261
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:28,423
You're late for gym.
262
00:10:28,485 --> 00:10:29,618
Bye, Franklin.
263
00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:31,092
When will I ever see you again?
264
00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:32,077
After gym.
265
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:33,448
Okay.
266
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:36,331
This is why you could've never
been the Phillie Phanatic.
267
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:37,532
You have no heart.
268
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:41,202
Gimme a P! Gimme an H!
269
00:10:41,305 --> 00:10:44,372
Gimme an I, L, L, Y!
270
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:45,740
What's that spell?
271
00:10:45,842 --> 00:10:46,808
Philly!
272
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:49,711
That... proves... nothing.
273
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:58,987
Oh, did someone place a new order?
274
00:10:59,089 --> 00:11:01,375
Ever since Maria took down
the fake reviews Chloe posted...
275
00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:03,592
Our clients started coming back.
276
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,127
My baby was sick,
and we nursed it back to health.
277
00:11:06,229 --> 00:11:08,363
And that's why Maria's
our employee of the month.
278
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:10,565
Why are you mocking me?
I'm doing the best I can.
279
00:11:11,535 --> 00:11:13,268
Dad, you have a gentle voice.
280
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,936
Can you teach me that tone you use
281
00:11:15,038 --> 00:11:17,072
to calm Mom down
when she finds someone counting
282
00:11:17,174 --> 00:11:19,531
to see if she has
10 items or less in her basket?
283
00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:22,410
Sorry, son, but that honey
timbre doesn't come overnight.
284
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:24,079
It took years working as a DJ
285
00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:26,348
at my college's
smooth jazz radio station.
286
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,984
I know you don't think they are,
but your stories are so sad.
287
00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:32,921
Oliver, I need you to call the
guys from the poker tournament
288
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,557
and explain to them
what happened with the reviews.
289
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:36,691
You got it, Mom.
290
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:37,759
Oliver, please!
291
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:39,694
This is important!
292
00:11:39,796 --> 00:11:41,630
I was being sincere!
293
00:11:41,732 --> 00:11:43,365
Damn this voice!
294
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:47,168
You know, you're not the only
one bonding with our kids.
295
00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:49,904
I hung out with Taylor
yesterday... all day.
296
00:11:50,007 --> 00:11:51,940
Whoa! Nice job.
297
00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:55,210
First time we talked
about really deep issues.
298
00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:56,978
She hung on my every word.
299
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,514
I think at one point,
she was even taking notes.
300
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,916
Quick question...
did you guys also talk about
301
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,252
what Taylor has done to make
her community a better place?
302
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:05,553
Yes. How did you know?
303
00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:07,622
Because you're getting played.
304
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:10,799
All of those questions were
from her college application.
305
00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:15,196
I think I was just so happy
she wanted to hang out with me,
306
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:16,398
I didn't notice.
307
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,866
Well, that is the last time
308
00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:20,669
we do a historical jigsaw puzzle
together. That'll show her.
309
00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:22,137
I don't think it will.
310
00:12:22,239 --> 00:12:23,338
Mm.
311
00:12:24,775 --> 00:12:27,709
Guess who got the lasagna order
for the poker tournament back.
312
00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,097
They even want to put a rush order
313
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,180
- on it for tonight.
- Crap! That is a lot of lasagna.
314
00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:33,948
Maria, fire up the stove.
315
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:41,723
Something's wrong. It won't turn on.
316
00:12:44,428 --> 00:12:45,753
Did one of you call the gas company?
317
00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:52,801
E-Excuse me.
318
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:56,805
Why are you putting a lock
on our gas line?
319
00:12:56,907 --> 00:12:58,306
You were renovating the backyard.
320
00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:00,542
You hit a line, and now
you need the gas shut off.
321
00:13:00,644 --> 00:13:01,943
That never happened.
322
00:13:02,045 --> 00:13:03,411
Who called this in, exactly?
323
00:13:03,513 --> 00:13:06,181
The homeowner.
"Carmen Bolivar Martinez"?
324
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:08,650
CBM.
325
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:10,946
You've got to admit,
that's the best name yet.
326
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,521
I wanna punch your voice
so hard right now.
327
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:18,727
Listen, there has been
a misunderstanding.
328
00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:21,687
I live here, and we don't need
the gas shut off.
329
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,742
- But the work order says...
- I know what it says.
330
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:24,977
But it's wrong.
331
00:13:25,079 --> 00:13:26,178
- But the work order...
- It's wrong.
332
00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:27,843
- But... the...
- Don't say it. Stop.
333
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:30,149
- ...work order...
- I want to talk to your supervisor.
334
00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:32,785
He's away. But you can call
first thing Monday morning.
335
00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:34,220
Sir, we can't wait that long.
336
00:13:34,322 --> 00:13:35,654
My mom and I run a home business,
337
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:38,257
and we need the gas turned on,
or we'll lose a big client.
338
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,093
- But the work order...
- Where's your offices?
339
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:42,528
Because I'm going to burn them to...
340
00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:44,396
This is DJ Greg, coming at you
341
00:13:44,465 --> 00:13:46,131
to calm you down with a kiss.
342
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,971
Chloe Brown Mueller
is messing with my baby,
343
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,372
and she's going down.
344
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,808
Mom, your feud with Chloe
is hurting our business.
345
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,109
- Ugh!
- What's more important?
346
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,911
Hurting Chloe or protecting your baby?
347
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,980
Right now, hurting Chloe.
348
00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:03,382
Okay, I'm gonna go down to Perfection,
349
00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:05,551
and I'm gonna take a bat
to her electrical box.
350
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:08,153
She's gonna send one
of my utilities to the hospital?
351
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,556
I send one of hers to the morgue.
352
00:14:10,658 --> 00:14:12,202
"Untouchables" reference.
353
00:14:12,273 --> 00:14:13,525
I got it, boss.
354
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,279
So funny.
355
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,129
Maria, you don't have to laugh
at my jokes.
356
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:19,732
That's not a joke.
357
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,335
Oh, man. You are damaged.
358
00:14:25,706 --> 00:14:27,906
Hey, Maria, now that
you're working here,
359
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,819
maybe I should get to know you
a little bit.
360
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,044
- Mm.
- What do you look for in a fella?
361
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:35,131
Anna-Kat, that is a personal question.
362
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,616
But now that it's out there,
let's spill some tea.
363
00:14:37,718 --> 00:14:39,285
What do you look for in a man?
364
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:40,819
I guess I'm attracted to someone
365
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,322
who isn't afraid to share
what makes them special.
366
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,957
As long as your definition
of "special" is pretty flexible,
367
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,114
I can work with that.
368
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,723
What is she up to?
369
00:14:50,785 --> 00:14:52,621
If she were my first kid,
I'd dig into that,
370
00:14:52,697 --> 00:14:53,896
but she's number three.
371
00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:55,701
I'm just gonna sit here
and hope for the best.
372
00:14:57,471 --> 00:14:58,437
Hey, Dad!
373
00:14:58,539 --> 00:14:59,738
I thought you could teach me
374
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,540
how that old laminator of yours works.
375
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,975
Sounds like a hoot, huh?
376
00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:05,210
You know, I was thinking,
377
00:15:05,312 --> 00:15:07,815
I'd like to revise my answer
to the question
378
00:15:07,877 --> 00:15:09,710
"What word best describes you?"
379
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:11,166
Okay. Shoot.
380
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:13,535
I'd say "manipulative,"
381
00:15:13,637 --> 00:15:15,637
"deceitful," "self-serving."
382
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,706
Wait a minute.
That's all bad stuff, right?
383
00:15:17,808 --> 00:15:19,007
I know you only hung out with me
384
00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:21,128
so you could pump me for your
college application answers.
385
00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:23,512
I was spending quality time with you,
386
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:24,780
and you were using me!
387
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,249
Okay, fine, I tricked you.
388
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,118
But come on.
I only have one question left.
389
00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:30,186
Forget it, Taylor.
390
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,920
You can't slack off
and expect me to bail you out.
391
00:15:32,022 --> 00:15:33,188
But I wasn't slacking off!
392
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:34,757
I've been trying to answer
these stupid questions
393
00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:36,291
for the past three months,
394
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,811
but I froze up because
I finally really want something.
395
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,791
Carnegie Mellon is perfect for me.
396
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,581
When I'm on stage, it's the only time
397
00:15:42,683 --> 00:15:44,650
I'm not afraid to show people
the real me.
398
00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:47,721
And I realized singing is
the thing I care about the most.
399
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,522
And if you don't help me, I'll never
get in! And why are you smiling?
400
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:52,157
- That's it.
- What?
401
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,827
What you just said was the perfect
answer to the last question...
402
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,695
"Why do you want to attend
Carnegie Mellon?"
403
00:15:57,965 --> 00:15:59,131
- Really?
- Yes!
404
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,733
It's honest and true and so much better
405
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:02,134
than anything I could've come up with.
406
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,839
I'm gonna write this down.
407
00:16:06,907 --> 00:16:10,809
But afterwards, we could
maybe use your laminator
408
00:16:10,911 --> 00:16:12,177
and laminate things.
409
00:16:12,246 --> 00:16:15,447
I know you're only saying that
because you feel guilty, but...
410
00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:18,817
...let's push this baby to the limit.
411
00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:24,456
Carmen Bolivar Martinez, show yourself!
412
00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,627
- Hello, Mother.
- Oliver?
413
00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:29,895
What are you doing here?
414
00:16:29,997 --> 00:16:31,430
Your feud was ruining our business,
415
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,099
so I reached out to Chloe
to broker a truce.
416
00:16:34,168 --> 00:16:36,902
Ugh. The one child we planned
turns on me!
417
00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:38,003
Mom...
418
00:16:39,507 --> 00:16:41,473
...sit down, please.
419
00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:42,674
Chloe, you, too.
420
00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:52,351
Thank you. Now, in order to end this,
421
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,949
we need to get to the root
of your issues with each other.
422
00:16:55,011 --> 00:16:56,738
Why exactly are you mad at my mom?
423
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:59,258
Because she's the suckiest suck
that ever sucked.
424
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,261
This stupid battle
is hurting your business, too.
425
00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:03,495
Okay, fine.
426
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,564
Your mother went too far on Career Day.
427
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:08,434
You started it. You said
my lasagna was poison.
428
00:17:08,536 --> 00:17:10,235
You said my store was a vanity project
429
00:17:10,337 --> 00:17:12,070
paid for by my husband.
430
00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:13,672
And why did that make you so mad?
431
00:17:13,774 --> 00:17:15,674
Because it's not true!
432
00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:18,143
I easily could have asked him,
but I didn't,
433
00:17:18,212 --> 00:17:20,579
because I wanted it to be truly mine.
434
00:17:20,681 --> 00:17:23,415
Do you know I started going
to small craft fairs,
435
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,984
meeting artists
and developing relationships?
436
00:17:26,053 --> 00:17:28,487
And then I spent years
selling their work
437
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,856
at a kiosk at the Stanford Mall.
438
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:34,159
- You were a mall kiosk lady?
- It was hell.
439
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,828
But I persevered,
440
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:37,830
and I finally saved up enough money
441
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,865
to open my own place.
442
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,267
Perfection isn't a vanity store.
443
00:17:42,369 --> 00:17:44,002
It's my baby.
444
00:17:44,071 --> 00:17:45,370
I didn't know.
445
00:17:45,473 --> 00:17:48,106
Mom, is it possible
that you pre-judged Chloe
446
00:17:48,175 --> 00:17:49,942
as a typical Westport housewife?
447
00:17:50,044 --> 00:17:51,944
I guess I did.
448
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:55,481
So, that means...
449
00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:57,516
I was wrong.
450
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,652
Chloe, I didn't mean
to mess with your baby.
451
00:18:00,754 --> 00:18:02,821
I'm sorry for stealing Maria
away from you.
452
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:05,624
Well, I'm sorry
for messing with your baby, too.
453
00:18:05,726 --> 00:18:08,293
I know how hard it is
to start a business.
454
00:18:08,395 --> 00:18:10,229
We need to be supporting each other.
455
00:18:10,331 --> 00:18:12,865
Maybe I'll buy a jar of your lasagna...
456
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,300
and eat it over a four-year period.
457
00:18:15,402 --> 00:18:19,905
Maybe I will buy a trinket
from your store.
458
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:21,273
That's $800.
459
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,675
You'll let me know when
you're having a "100% off" sale.
460
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:27,279
Would you mind if Maria
came back to work for me?
461
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,283
Sure.
462
00:18:31,385 --> 00:18:33,385
I'm not an object
you can barter and trade.
463
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,553
I am a human being.
464
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,955
Oh, my God! What have you done to her?
465
00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:40,224
Working for Katie has taught me
that I have value.
466
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:44,997
All right, well, what do I
have to do to get you back?
467
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,932
I could... give you a raise?
468
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:50,481
And I don't want to give you
a piggyback ride to your car
469
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:51,570
after pedicures.
470
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,138
You don't like that?
471
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,957
That was our thing!
472
00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,106
Mnh-mnh.
473
00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,210
Okay. Fine.
474
00:18:58,312 --> 00:18:59,344
You can start today.
475
00:18:59,446 --> 00:19:00,546
Tomorrow morning.
476
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:01,813
Ugh! Okay.
477
00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:03,916
But I have to tell you
that this self-esteem
478
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,617
is a very ugly color on you.
479
00:19:05,719 --> 00:19:08,086
So, this feud is over?
480
00:19:10,457 --> 00:19:11,823
Feud over.
481
00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:13,058
Feud over.
482
00:19:14,495 --> 00:19:16,595
Nice job, Oliver.
483
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,530
I think you found your soothing voice.
484
00:19:18,632 --> 00:19:19,798
I guess I did.
485
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,867
I think it's because
there was money on the line.
486
00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:23,368
I just have to lock in this feeling
487
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:25,804
and apply it to stupid stuff,
like people's problems.
488
00:19:35,059 --> 00:19:36,525
I'll get it!
489
00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:45,317
She's here. You ready?
490
00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:47,221
I brought what makes me special.
491
00:19:48,572 --> 00:19:51,666
Hey, guys! Look who decided
to come over and hang!
492
00:19:51,721 --> 00:19:53,251
It's my principal!
493
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,277
Hey, Ottos.
494
00:19:54,305 --> 00:19:56,178
Principal Ablin.
495
00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:57,664
What are you doing here?
496
00:19:57,743 --> 00:20:01,039
I wanted to apologize to Maria
for how I acted the other day.
497
00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:02,474
Those slams don't belong anywhere
498
00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:04,799
except the main stage at the Apollo.
499
00:20:04,875 --> 00:20:06,440
So, I brought you a gift.
500
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,886
It's... uh...
501
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,125
me.
502
00:20:15,202 --> 00:20:16,455
I made it from memory.
503
00:20:16,488 --> 00:20:18,356
I've been a woodworker
ever since I was a kid.
504
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,069
It's kind of what makes me special.
505
00:20:21,058 --> 00:20:22,027
It's...
506
00:20:22,059 --> 00:20:24,273
pretty cool, actually.
507
00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:28,399
So, Maria, I was wondering
if you'd ever like to, uh,
508
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:31,515
you know, go on a, um... date with me.
509
00:20:34,873 --> 00:20:36,892
Sure. That sounds fun.
510
00:20:36,954 --> 00:20:39,157
- Yes!
- Huzzah!
511
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:42,630
This is a man who's in charge
of thousands of children.
512
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,312
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
37437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof