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00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:06,467
and may containmature subject matter.
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00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:09,800
Viewer discretionis advised.
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[upbeat music]and may containmature subject matter.
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00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:21,800
Are you ready for my party
Saturday night?
5
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:22,867
- Oh, yeah.
6
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:23,967
As an early birthday present,
7
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:27,100
I got DJ Khaled's baby
to make you a playlist.
8
00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:29,667
It's okay.
- [chuckles]
9
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,133
Hey, fast, think Aisha!
10
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,567
I did it wrong again.
11
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,066
- [laughs softly]
12
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,033
[melancholy music]
13
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:42,767
♪ ♪
14
00:00:46,266 --> 00:00:48,600
I don't care about
Jamie and Aisha.
15
00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:49,867
- But you like him.
16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,867
I mean, it's okay
to have feelings about--
17
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,700
- The only reason I like Jamie
18
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:56,433
is because we would've been
the ultimate power couple.
19
00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:58,667
The brain naturally wants
popular, hot people
20
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,633
to be together
and rule over society.
21
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,667
That's why it's annoying
when beautiful actresses
22
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:03,900
date "SNL" writers.
23
00:01:04,033 --> 00:01:07,367
- So you're good?
- Of course.
24
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,233
Have a wonderful day.
25
00:01:17,867 --> 00:01:19,834
- I am PO'd as F.
26
00:01:25,066 --> 00:01:27,333
- I'm sure you guys
will work it out.
27
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,066
- Huh?
You're not making any sense.
28
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,734
- Oh, sorry,
I'm still in character
29
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:32,433
from another conversation.
30
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,934
How's this?
31
00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:35,467
Jamie has no right to rob you
32
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,633
of seeing your
favorite comedian
33
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,333
at your favorite casino
on the way to Palm Springs.
34
00:01:41,967 --> 00:01:44,300
- Break up Jamie and Aisha.
35
00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:46,100
- Oh, I was gonna say buy
two tickets and go with them,
36
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:50,667
- ♪ When I wake upin the mornin' ♪
37
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,467
♪ Alarm gives out a warnin' ♪
38
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,333
♪ I don't thinkI'll ever make it on time ♪
39
00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:55,734
[school bell ringing]
40
00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:56,934
♪ By the timeI grab my books ♪
41
00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:58,266
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
42
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,834
♪ I'm at the cornerjust in time ♪
43
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,300
♪ Saved by the bell,it's all right ♪
44
00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:08,900
♪ It's all right,saved by the bell ♪
45
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:11,400
♪ It's all right ♪
46
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:15,433
♪ 'Cause I'm savedby the bell ♪
47
00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:17,433
[school bell ringing]
48
00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:21,233
- Uh, morning, Slater.
49
00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:22,633
Just a couple of
school-related items
50
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:23,934
I wanted to run by you.
51
00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:25,500
The pool is closed
for cleaning.
52
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:28,133
We have parent-teacher
conferences now on Wednesday.
53
00:02:28,266 --> 00:02:29,934
Also, you have
a mandatory double date
54
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,467
with me and two fly honeys at
55
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,900
Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville
on Saturday night,
56
00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,800
and oh, the new
volleyball mats came in.
57
00:02:35,934 --> 00:02:38,133
And I think--yup, that's it.
Thanks a million.
58
00:02:44,934 --> 00:02:47,200
Listen, listen, listen.
59
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,467
It can only be you.
60
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,233
You see, they think one of us
is you and one of us is me,
61
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:55,300
but you're the one
they think is me.
62
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,667
- And where would they
get that idea?
63
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,600
- I don't know.
64
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,367
- My arm is in it.
Therefore, it's not catfishing.
65
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,633
- Yeah, the liquid's supposed
to look purple.
66
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,166
- I'm so excited
for Jamie's birthday.
67
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,166
I've never been
to a rich kid party before.
68
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,700
- Uh, Jamie's not really
a rich kid.
69
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,867
- Um, I once saw him Postmate
a churro from Disneyland.
70
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000
Your boy rich.
71
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,367
Do you think the party
is gonna be like "Euphoria",
72
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,400
all emo and smoke-filled,
73
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:31,233
and everyone's, like, damaged,
but in a sexy way?
74
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:33,100
- Since when do you watch
"Euphoria?"
75
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:34,900
- Since I started my extensive
research project
76
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,367
on how to have fun.
- Mm.
77
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,967
- I'm using our first
Bayside party
78
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,934
as an opportunity
to rebrand myself
79
00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:41,266
from a social perspective.
80
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,333
- No, I'm actually gonna party
this time,
81
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,767
not just stand in the corner
82
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,367
or try to make friends
with the dog.
83
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,467
- Wow, you really are
rebranding yourself
84
00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,900
- Oh.
- We need a non-parental ride.
85
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,867
Hey, DeVante!
86
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:06,233
- My clothes are going to burn
off my body.
87
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,900
- Ooh.
- What's up?
88
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,934
- Can you drive us
to Jamie's party this Saturday?
89
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:14,467
- No.
90
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,867
- I'll give you 30 bucks
and the login to my Netflix.
91
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,967
- Deal.
92
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,834
- Yes, he'll take us.
Ooh.
93
00:04:20,967 --> 00:04:24,000
- I'm sorry, but could you have
been wrong about the acid?
94
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,533
- Your plan is bad.
95
00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:50,633
Using psychological warfare,
96
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,300
we will prey upon
Jamie and Aisha's
97
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:53,667
individual weaknesses
98
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,567
to drive a wedge between them
and destroy their relationship.
99
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:58,934
Step one.
100
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,333
We make Aisha think that allof Jamie's hot ex-girlfriends
101
00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:05,500
have sent himromantic birthday gifts.
102
00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:07,967
Aisha, competitive by nature,
103
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,467
feels the first pangsof jealousy.
104
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,133
Step two.
105
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:16,033
We exploit Aisha's
deepest insecurity.
106
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:18,500
Prior to the party,I will break into her home
107
00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:29,300
suddenly pops out of a cake,
108
00:05:29,433 --> 00:05:31,633
her tiny little feeton full display.
109
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:32,900
- You sure are putting
a lot of eggs
110
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,834
into the "insecure
about her feet" basket.
111
00:05:40,467 --> 00:05:41,767
- Hey.
- Hey.
112
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,300
- Heard Jamie's having
a big party this weekend.
113
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,900
- No, not a big party,
just a few friends.
114
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:48,834
- Man, remember how much fun
115
00:05:48,967 --> 00:05:51,033
high school parties
used to be back in the day?
116
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,800
- Can you believe
that was, like, 30 years ago?
117
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:00,800
- No.
118
00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:03,133
There haven't been 30
NBA championships
119
00:06:03,266 --> 00:06:04,567
since high school.
120
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,066
Raptors, Warriors, Warriors,
Cavs, Warriors, Spurs,
121
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,667
Heat, Heat, Lakers five times,
Bulls, Bulls, Bulls,
122
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,400
Rockets, Rockets, Bulls--
damn, you're right.
123
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,333
Last night I threw my back out
rocking Jamie to sleep.
124
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,300
- I'm not gonna be there.
- What are you, nuts?
125
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:29,500
You can't leave a bunch of kids
126
00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:31,734
unchaperoned
in your nice house.
127
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,166
I wouldn't leave them
unchaperoned
128
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,000
in my not-nice not-a-house.
129
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,834
of the trust tree's
leafy branches.
130
00:06:41,967 --> 00:06:43,900
That's a metaphor my editor
cut from my book
131
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:44,900
'cause it was bad.
132
00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:46,500
- Well, um, since
133
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:49,734
you gotta be out of the house
anyway, um...
134
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,934
I was probably gonna
go to the movies or something.
135
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:59,066
René called and asked me
to come visit him in Arizona.
136
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,967
- You didn't let me finish.
137
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,333
- Wait, you were inviting me
on your date?
138
00:07:09,033 --> 00:07:10,867
- Oh, so I guess
I was also on a date
139
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,100
♪ ♪
140
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:21,633
- No, I am not in the market
for solar paneling, Eric.
141
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,533
But listen, while I have you,
142
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,467
what are you doing
Saturday night?
143
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,533
- I'll go on your
stupid double date.
144
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:29,600
- Really?
Oh, great!
145
00:07:29,734 --> 00:07:32,800
- Hey, never mind.
Slot's been filled, loser.
146
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,166
Why, yes,
I'll hold for the survey.
147
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,800
- And then the next step--
148
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:40,100
- Are we almost done?
- Yes, step 99.
149
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,800
Our plan has culminated
150
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:45,266
in a massiveun-take-back-able fight.
151
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,734
- [yells]
152
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,000
- Jamie retreatsto his bedroom, devastated.
153
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,934
Finally, step 100.
154
00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:54,133
I comfort Jamie,
155
00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:03,567
- Wait, why do you
have to kiss?
156
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,300
- Uh, to ensure
they're really broken up.
157
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:08,100
- Oh, that makes perfect sense.
158
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:09,567
That's an excellent plan.
159
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,867
- Thank you, I thought of it
as I was saying it.
160
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,333
- And it's, like, classic Lexi,
161
00:08:13,467 --> 00:08:14,834
like, the evil
and diabolical plans
162
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,633
you used to come up with
all the time.
163
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,333
- What are you talking about?
164
00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:19,200
- You know,
you used to be, like,
165
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,333
cool and mean,
166
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,700
and then you kind of went soft.
167
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,467
Like, after a rapper has a kid
168
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,967
and does
a family vacation movie.
169
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,033
- Okay, what?
I'm still cool and mean.
170
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:29,500
I've insulted, like,
seven people today, idiot.
171
00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:31,100
Ooh, make that eight.
172
00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:32,166
- Doesn't matter.
173
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,133
What's important is
174
00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:35,200
I'm going to see Dean Cain
in Morocco.
175
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,333
- What? I thought it was
Dane Cook at Morongo.
176
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:38,667
- That's what I said.
177
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:43,734
- Hey, get out
of the teacher's lounge.
178
00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:46,800
And how the hell did you
get a conference table in here?
179
00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:49,266
[upbeat hip-hop music]
180
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,533
- This house is huge.
181
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:53,667
Maybe Jamie is a rich kid.
182
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:58,333
- Yeah, it was purchased
back in 2002 for $3.1 million.
183
00:08:58,467 --> 00:09:00,066
What?
184
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,533
Y'all didn't Google the address
before we got here?
185
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,734
- Huh--
186
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,500
Sorry, I was nervous,
187
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,967
so I pregamed with my mom's
Don Q she saves for Christmas.
188
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:17,100
Let's do this, baby.
189
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:19,700
- Is she wearing angel wings?
- I don't--I don't know.
190
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,667
- ♪ People sayI drive too fast ♪
191
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,934
♪ Move too fast,live too fast ♪
192
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,934
♪ ♪
193
00:09:33,066 --> 00:09:35,400
- Daisy, your footis in the trash can.
194
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,700
[upbeat music playing]
195
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,767
- I may have
pregamed too much.
196
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,233
to drive to Connecticut?y du
197
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:48,967
- Ooh-la-la.
198
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:53,300
Sorry, pal,
dibs on the hot one.
199
00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:54,767
Evening, ladies.
200
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,200
You must be Deirdre.
201
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,200
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Michelle.
202
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:04,700
- AC.
203
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:07,433
So how do you know Deirdre?
204
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,633
- We are the HR department.
205
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,200
[both laugh]
206
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,033
- Ron, can I just say,
207
00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:24,333
you have
such a beautiful smile?
208
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:30,033
so enjoy it while you can.
209
00:10:30,166 --> 00:10:33,033
- [laughs]
210
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,867
- Ow, why are my shoes
killing me?
211
00:10:49,533 --> 00:10:51,834
- She got you an Oculus?
212
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:53,467
- And Sienna got you
floor seats
213
00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:59,166
before your grandpa passed?
214
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,266
- [laughs softly]
215
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,567
A Laker girl hugged him,
216
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,967
and Grandpa got a streak
of her boob makeup on his face.
217
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:16,633
- I'll come with you.
- No.
218
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,500
Stay here
and open your presents.
219
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,333
- Aisha.
220
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:21,800
Wait, are you mad at me?
221
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:39,233
- Uh, more like
222
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:41,734
they exclusively
make number one hits.
223
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:42,800
- [laughs]
224
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:45,633
You know,
I was dreading tonight,
225
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:48,100
but this is actually
really fun.
226
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,133
- You know what? I'm having
a really good time too.
227
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:53,734
I mean, not as good as them.
228
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:57,567
- I hope this isn't
too forward,
229
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:01,033
but I'm falling
in love with you.
230
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,166
- [gasps]
231
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,367
It's not, Ron.
I feel the same way.
232
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,834
[mellow music playing]
233
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,500
- So should we get
another drink?
234
00:12:08,633 --> 00:12:10,400
- Yes, definitely.
[cell phone ringing]
235
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:14,567
But uh...let me just take this
really quick.
236
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,333
I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.
237
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:19,000
♪ ♪
238
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,333
- Hey, Jessie, what's up?
239
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,900
- You were right.
The party is out of control.
240
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,734
I've gotten 100 notifications
from my doorbell camera,
241
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:27,633
and Jamie isn't
picking up his phone.
242
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,633
- Calm down.
It's gonna be okay.
243
00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:30,934
- My neighbors are gonna
call the cops.
244
00:12:31,066 --> 00:12:33,834
They all hate us
'cause my compost bin stinks
245
00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:35,166
and René has a pet rooster.
246
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,100
Slater,I hate to ask you this,
247
00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:39,834
but can you please get over
there and shut down the party?
248
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:43,166
- Uh, you need me to do that,
like, right now?
249
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:46,467
- Uh--oh, my God, wait,
you have your date.
250
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,166
Sorry, never mind, forget it.
251
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,166
- No, no, no, no.
If you need me--
252
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,900
- No, no, no, no,
don't be silly.
253
00:12:52,033 --> 00:12:55,567
I'll ask someone else.
I'll ask Toddman.
254
00:12:55,700 --> 00:13:00,200
- You're gonna throw away
everything we have for him?
255
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,400
Look at him!
256
00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:05,600
- No, it's okay, Jessie.
If you need me, I'll be there.
257
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:08,533
- Really?
Thank you so much.
258
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,767
- I have a problem?
You have a problem!
259
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,433
- [sighs]
260
00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:15,367
Hey, listen.
261
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:19,033
I am so sorry,
but something suddenly came up.
262
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,567
My friend had an emergency,
and I gotta go.
263
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,767
Again, I'm so sorry.
264
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,400
- Okay.
265
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:27,066
[indistinct arguing]
266
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:31,700
- ♪ Ooh, he'll take me soon ♪
267
00:13:31,834 --> 00:13:35,800
♪ He's making room ♪
268
00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:37,533
- Stop doing that.
I hate this.
269
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,900
What is that?
270
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:43,600
- Who cares?
271
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:47,000
Tonight, I'm living life
as a verb.
272
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:48,800
- Hey, you wanna see
something fun?
273
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,734
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool, let me show you.
274
00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:53,433
- What?
- There it is, mm-hmm.
275
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,800
- Ooh!
276
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,233
- "As a verb"?
277
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:59,166
- You're being, like,crazy jealous right now.
278
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,967
- Jamie,
I swear to you I'm not.
279
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,033
- Well, you're mad
about something.
280
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,400
What do you want me to do,
281
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:06,266
throw the presents out?
'Cause I will.
282
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,033
I don't need this,
or a Rolex
283
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:12,300
or some song that Billie Eilish
wrote for me personally.
284
00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,900
- No, throwing them away
is even worse.
285
00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:17,934
- How?
God, you're being impossible.
286
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,567
- Then don't be with me.
- What?
287
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,567
Oh--
288
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,800
- Jamie's on the move.
289
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,300
Cancel steps 3 through 99.
290
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,000
Advance to step 100.
Over.
291
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,467
- Already?
That was fast.
292
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,000
- All you've gotta do now
is go into Jamie's room
293
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,000
and manipulate your best friend
into kissing you.
294
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:40,767
- Oh, God.
When you say it like that--
295
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:43,100
- It sounds awesome.
I know.
296
00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:45,533
- [sighs]
Okay.
297
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,000
I'll get into position.
298
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:49,300
- And I'll get ready to see
Dean Koontz at Costco.
299
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,967
- What? I thought it was
Dane Cook at Morongo.
300
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,500
- Who cares?
Just go.
301
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,166
- Okay.
302
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,300
[slow mellow music]
303
00:14:57,433 --> 00:15:03,533
- ♪ Girl, you so beautifulwhen you faded, faded ♪
304
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:07,967
♪ Ooh, I like you betterwhen you faded ♪
305
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:11,500
- Looks like you and I
are on the same trip.
306
00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:17,033
- ♪ Girl, what are youso afraid, afraid of? ♪
307
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,967
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
308
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,133
♪ ♪
309
00:15:23,266 --> 00:15:25,066
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
310
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,166
[crowd cheering]
311
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,700
- ♪ You can't relate ♪
312
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,367
♪ You never had as much bread
on your plate ♪
313
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,233
♪ Y'all have my blessings,
thank you, I'm great ♪
314
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,200
♪ Giving 'em reasons
to gossip and hate ♪
315
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:36,800
♪ Go away,
don't pay attention ♪
316
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:39,734
♪ You see me moving
in a different dimension ♪
317
00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:40,934
♪ Just look at my mansion ♪
318
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,867
♪ Club boys with patience ♪
319
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000
♪ ♪
320
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:50,033
- Okay, okay.
Party is over.
321
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,200
Alexa, cut the music.
322
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,066
- No!
- Oh, come on, Coach.
323
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,533
We thought you were cool.
- Yeah.
324
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,900
- I am cool.
325
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:59,800
But Jamie's mom called and said
I gotta shut this thing down.
326
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:02,633
- Aw, this sucks, we were in
the middle of a dance battle.
327
00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:06,400
- It doesn't matter,
everybody's gotta go now.
328
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,967
- But we're tied.
Come on, help us out.
329
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,934
Just one dance.
We need you.
330
00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:13,667
- Coach Slater can't dance.
331
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,166
- Uh, yeah, he can.
332
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,533
He's always talking about
333
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,400
what a sick dancer
he was in high school.
334
00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:19,567
- Nice try, guys,
335
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:23,233
but there is no way
I'm doing more than one dance.
336
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:26,200
- Yes!
- Alexa, hit it.
337
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,967
- I think you have to say
the name of the song.
338
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,100
[lively instrumental music
playing]
339
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:31,967
- Guess not.
340
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:39,200
♪ ♪
341
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:46,734
[music stops]
342
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:54,734
Yeah!
343
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:58,066
[cheers and applause]
344
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,333
- Whoo!
345
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:04,033
- You're the man.
You're the man.
346
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:06,800
- Aisha was so cool,
and then tonight
347
00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:09,500
she just completely
changed personalities.
348
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:12,800
It's like Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde were the same person.
349
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:14,967
- Did you not finish the book?
350
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,333
- It's a book?
351
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,600
- All right, well,
you just started dating,
352
00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:21,667
and you don't really
know each other.
353
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,834
- Yeah, I mean,
I guess you're right.
354
00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:28,467
- Yeah, like, you and I
have been friends for what?
355
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,834
- As long as I can remember.
- Exactly.
356
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,500
You can't expect someone
you've known for what,
357
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:35,266
two months,
to understand you like I do.
358
00:17:36,633 --> 00:17:38,533
- Yeah, you do know me
pretty well.
359
00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:41,100
Hey, remember this?
360
00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:45,133
- Oh, my God, our string phone.
361
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:48,900
We used to sit in our windows
and talk on those all night.
362
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,834
- Remember back when
I was husky?
363
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:53,333
You used to yell through it
every morning,
364
00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:56,667
"Wake up, lard-ass!
Welcome to another day of hell!
365
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,467
That is, if you haven't already
died of a heart attack."
366
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,066
- Huh.
- Oh, man, good times.
367
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,800
- Yeah, kind of
forgot about that.
368
00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:07,567
- Oh, I didn't.
369
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,066
I mean, why do you think
I worked so hard
370
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,734
to make my body like this?
371
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:12,567
It's 'cause
I was afraid of you.
372
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,266
- Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
373
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,567
- No, no, it's fine.
374
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,200
I mean, you're not
like that anymore.
375
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,066
- Eh.
376
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,133
I can still be pretty mean.
377
00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:27,066
- No way.
I mean, you used to hurt people
378
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,166
and, like,
never feel bad about it.
379
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,900
Like, remember that time
that you exposed
380
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:34,000
Spencer's dad's affair
just to ruin his bar mitzvah?
381
00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:36,900
- Yeah, maybe I have changed.
382
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,867
- You have.
383
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,834
I mean, the old Lexi
wasn't a very happy person,
384
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:46,400
and sometimes unhappy people
take their feelings out
385
00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:49,033
on the people around them.
386
00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:53,066
But you're--you're happy now.
387
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,200
- How do you know I'm happy?
388
00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:59,166
- Because I know you.
[laughs softly]
389
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,200
[gentle music]
390
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:07,533
♪ ♪
391
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:10,567
- Damn it.
- What's wrong?
392
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:14,633
- Look, you're right.
I'm happy and I'm nice now.
393
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:15,834
[sighs]
394
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,800
- ♪ Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,Barbara Ann ♪
395
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:24,767
♪ Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,Barbara Ann ♪
396
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,100
♪ Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,Barbara Ann ♪
397
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,300
♪ Barbara Ann ♪
398
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:32,467
♪ Oh, take my hand ♪
399
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,633
♪ Barbara Ann ♪
400
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:37,400
♪ You got merockin' and a rollin' ♪
401
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:38,934
♪ Rockin' and a reelin' ♪
402
00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:41,367
♪ Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,Barbara Ann ♪
403
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,967
♪ You got merockin' and a rollin' ♪
404
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,233
♪ Rockin' and a reelin',Barbara Ann ♪
405
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:46,967
- Oh, no, it's the cops!
Everybody hide!
406
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,166
[siren wailing]
407
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:52,400
[suspenseful music]
408
00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:55,967
- Happy birthday, Jamie!
409
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,967
in the first room I checked.Iu
410
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,633
I have to tell you something.
411
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,834
There was a scheme
to break you and Jamie up,
412
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,934
but I heroically stopped it.
413
00:20:10,066 --> 00:20:12,934
I also started it.
It was my scheme.
414
00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:15,433
- What?
- I'm sorry.
415
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,200
I guess I wanted you guys
to break up because...
416
00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:21,567
I like Jamie.
417
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,133
- I know.
418
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:24,233
Daisy told me.
419
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:26,000
- That bitch is lying.
420
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,867
Sorry, reflex.
Just...
421
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,100
Look, I want Jamie to be happy,
and he's happy with you.
422
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,433
I'm the one who got him
all the gifts.
423
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,767
You have no reason
to be jealous.
424
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,066
- [scoffs]
Jealous?
425
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,433
I don't get jealous, honey.
I'm dope.
426
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:43,066
- God, you're so confident.
427
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,166
- You would be, too,
if you had feet
428
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,667
as big and beautiful as I do.
429
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,667
- Okay, wait,
so if you weren't jealous,
430
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,333
then why were you so upset?
431
00:20:50,467 --> 00:20:53,967
- Because at school,
Jamie and I,
432
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,000
we don't seem
all that different,
433
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,400
but being in this
big, fancy house
434
00:20:57,533 --> 00:21:00,734
watching him open
all those expensive gifts, it--
435
00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:02,567
it made me feel weird.
436
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:06,467
I mean, I don't have money
to buy him an Oculus.
437
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,467
I didn't even get him anything
for his birthday.
438
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,100
Don't laugh,
but that's why I was in here.
439
00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:14,400
I was trying
to make him a gift.
440
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,533
- Oh, Holy God,
what is that thing?
441
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,200
- It's supposed to be Jamie.
442
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:21,400
- Huh.
- [sighs]
443
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:24,066
- Let me give you some advice.
444
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,266
Jamie doesn't need things,
445
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,233
especially not a haunted
painting from hell.
446
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:31,400
He just needs to know
that you care about him.
447
00:21:31,533 --> 00:21:33,233
He really likes you.
448
00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:35,567
- He does?
- Yeah.
449
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:39,100
And love across class lines
happens all the time.
450
00:21:39,233 --> 00:21:41,934
My dad was rich,
but my mom was just hot.
451
00:21:42,066 --> 00:21:43,333
- Aren't your parents divorced?
452
00:21:43,467 --> 00:21:44,533
- Yeah, that was never
gonna work.
453
00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:45,867
They're from
two different worlds.
454
00:21:47,467 --> 00:21:48,900
[knocking on door]
- It's the police!
455
00:21:49,033 --> 00:21:50,133
Open up!
456
00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:51,166
- Maybe someone should
go talk to them.
457
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:53,600
- Yeah, but who?
458
00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:54,834
- Maybe Colt?
459
00:21:56,834 --> 00:21:57,867
[knocking on door]
460
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,633
Coming! One sec.
461
00:22:00,767 --> 00:22:02,800
♪ ♪
462
00:22:02,934 --> 00:22:03,967
- Good evening, sir.
463
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,667
We got a noise complaint,
464
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,133
but I didn't know
an adult was home.
465
00:22:07,266 --> 00:22:08,800
- Yeah, sorry, officer.
466
00:22:08,934 --> 00:22:12,000
I guess the party
got a little out of control.
467
00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:14,300
- Oh, I get it.
I have kids too.
468
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:16,800
Boy, do I hate it
when they throw a party.
469
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,600
Let me help you out.
470
00:22:20,734 --> 00:22:22,800
Young lady, you better
keep the music down
471
00:22:22,934 --> 00:22:24,367
for your dad, okay?
472
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,800
I mean, you may think
it's a lot of fun
473
00:22:25,934 --> 00:22:27,300
carrying on all night now,
474
00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,467
but when you get to be
your dad's and my age,
475
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,133
fun is a quiet night at home
476
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:33,367
with your family
and beloved wife.
477
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:37,633
- Thank you,
we'll keep it down.
478
00:22:37,767 --> 00:22:39,800
- [hiccups]
479
00:22:39,934 --> 00:22:42,300
♪ ♪
480
00:22:42,433 --> 00:22:44,300
[people murmuring]
481
00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:46,967
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
482
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,333
- You're the man, Coach.
483
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:50,266
When I grow up
I wanna be just like you:
484
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,066
a single, childless adult
who parties with kids.
485
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,934
- Okay, this party is over.
486
00:22:56,066 --> 00:22:58,967
Everybody out, now!
487
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:01,166
[crowd groans]
488
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,300
[indistinct chatter]
489
00:23:03,433 --> 00:23:04,934
- Yeah, I'm just
gonna follow her.
490
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,066
- That should be us
kissing Jamie.
491
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,367
We were so close.
492
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:10,867
Why didn't you
just finish the plan?
493
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,867
- Because you're right.
494
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000
I have gone soft.
495
00:23:15,133 --> 00:23:17,800
Now making people feel bad
makes me feel bad,
496
00:23:17,934 --> 00:23:19,767
so I couldn't do it,
497
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,200
even if it meant
losing a guy I really like.
498
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:24,266
- Who, me?
- Jamie.
499
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,367
- Wait, you like Jamie?
- Yeah, dude.
500
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,266
Why else would I concoct
a super expensive plan
501
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,500
to ruin someone's relationship?
502
00:23:30,633 --> 00:23:33,233
Wait.
Why are you doing this?
503
00:23:33,367 --> 00:23:34,867
- Because of the thing I've
been saying the whole time,
504
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,700
that I wanna drink Diet Coke
with Kaley Cuoco or whatever.
505
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:40,333
- What? I thought it
was Dane Cook at Morongo.
506
00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:43,033
Mac, seriously,
why did you do this?
507
00:23:43,166 --> 00:23:45,333
I mean, there had to be
some deeper reason.
508
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:48,533
- Because I felt abandoned by
my dear friend what's-his-name.
509
00:23:48,667 --> 00:23:51,734
- Well, you know,
sometimes unhappy people
510
00:23:51,867 --> 00:23:53,633
take out their feelings
on the people around them.
511
00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:55,734
- Excuse me, I'm not unhappy.
512
00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:58,100
There is no emotional void
I'm trying to fill.
513
00:23:58,233 --> 00:23:59,767
- Okay.
514
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,734
- I don't have a void.
515
00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:05,133
Lexi, come back.
516
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,100
What is wrong with me?
517
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:11,200
Why am I like this?
518
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:13,100
[cell phone buzzes]
519
00:24:13,233 --> 00:24:15,100
Hello?
520
00:24:15,233 --> 00:24:16,500
Yeah, that's right.
521
00:24:16,633 --> 00:24:20,867
A dozen pizzas sent to
Ronald J. Toddman's house.
522
00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:23,934
[whistles]
523
00:24:24,066 --> 00:24:25,700
- I heard Yasmin gossiping
524
00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:27,200
about how some girl
was so drunk
525
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,867
she made out with a coat.
526
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:29,934
Can you believe it?
527
00:24:30,066 --> 00:24:33,066
For once, the loser
at the party wasn't me.
528
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,367
- Girl, that sounds like
a successful social rebrand.
529
00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:37,934
- Uh-huh!
530
00:24:38,066 --> 00:24:38,800
What?
531
00:24:38,934 --> 00:24:41,033
That's a cool party sound
I do now.
532
00:24:45,233 --> 00:24:46,900
- Hey.
533
00:24:47,033 --> 00:24:48,734
- Hey, you're home.
534
00:24:48,867 --> 00:24:50,934
- I don't know
how to thank you.
535
00:24:51,066 --> 00:24:53,100
I am so sorry
I ruined your date.
536
00:24:53,233 --> 00:24:54,433
- Don't worry about it.
537
00:24:54,567 --> 00:24:56,533
You know
I've always got your back.
538
00:24:56,667 --> 00:25:01,166
- Oh, it is so good to be home.
539
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,567
Although, this will
never really be my home
540
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:05,600
because the white man
can't rightfully lay claim
541
00:25:05,734 --> 00:25:06,900
to any land in America.
542
00:25:07,033 --> 00:25:07,767
Oh, hey, Slater.
543
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:10,467
- Hey, René.
- René surprised me.
544
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,000
He decided to come back early
from his retreat.
545
00:25:13,133 --> 00:25:14,700
- Mm.
546
00:25:14,834 --> 00:25:16,000
- Slater, are you hungry?
547
00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:18,133
René's shaman
gifted him some jerky.
548
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:19,867
- [whispers] There's not really
enough for everyone.
549
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,000
- No, I'm good.
550
00:25:21,133 --> 00:25:23,700
- Aw, are you sure?
'Cause we got tons.
551
00:25:23,834 --> 00:25:26,834
- Yeah, I think
I'm gonna just go home.
552
00:25:26,967 --> 00:25:29,667
- Wait, what is that outfit?
Is it from high school?
553
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,934
- Yeah, actually, it is.
554
00:25:31,066 --> 00:25:33,000
I've been keeping it
in the trunk of my car,
555
00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:35,333
but I think after tonight
556
00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:37,800
I may officially be done
with high school.
557
00:25:39,133 --> 00:25:40,734
Matter of fact,
558
00:25:40,867 --> 00:25:43,000
I don't think
I need this anymore.
559
00:25:43,133 --> 00:25:44,800
[upbeat music]
560
00:25:44,934 --> 00:25:45,967
- What?
561
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:48,533
- Why are you
giving this to me?
562
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:54,633
♪ ♪
563
00:25:54,767 --> 00:25:57,800
[cell phone chiming]
41082
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