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and may containmature subject matter.
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00:00:07,734 --> 00:00:11,166
Viewer discretionis advised.
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[upbeat music]
choir: ♪ Bop-bop ♪
and may containmature subject matter.
4
00:00:12,767 --> 00:00:15,867
♪ Bop-bop, ooh, bop-bop ♪
5
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,667
♪ Bop-bop ♪
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,400
- ♪ In the army I saw horror ♪
7
00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:22,967
♪ Saw good men die ♪
8
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,800
♪ They made me wear
long pants ♪
9
00:00:25,934 --> 00:00:29,233
♪ It brought tears to my eyes ♪
choir: ♪ Bop-bop ♪
10
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:32,934
- ♪ I shot at Nazis ♪
11
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:35,467
♪ Sure I missed a few ♪
choir: ♪ Bop-bop ♪
12
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,266
- ♪ But what does it matter ♪
13
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,266
choir: ♪ Bop ♪
- ♪ I got home to you ♪
14
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,233
♪ And my biggest wipeout
of them all ♪
15
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:47,667
♪ Was not answering
when I heard love's call ♪
16
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,000
all: ♪ Not answering
love's call ♪
17
00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:55,233
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
18
00:00:55,367 --> 00:00:57,633
[cheers and applause]
19
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,000
- Yo, are you crying, man?
20
00:01:00,133 --> 00:01:01,166
- Yeah.
21
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:04,400
- Me too.
22
00:01:04,533 --> 00:01:06,633
[cheers and applause]
23
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:10,066
- Hey, cowabunga, everybody!
24
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,934
A couple of quick
announcements.
25
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:14,300
The parking lot is tot--ahh!
26
00:01:14,433 --> 00:01:17,166
[thud]
[groaning]
27
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,333
Somebody, help me,
but don't call an ambulance!
28
00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:21,967
I can't afford it.
29
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:24,233
[grunting]
30
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:27,266
Hey, stop filming and help!
31
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,266
Ahh!
32
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,900
Don't look!
33
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:33,834
My groin has been
suctioned into a tuba!
34
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,767
[school bell rings]
35
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,166
- ♪ When I wake upin the mornin' ♪
36
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,934
♪ Alarm gives out a warnin' ♪
37
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,867
♪ I don't thinkI'll ever make it on time ♪
38
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,233
[school bell ringing]
39
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:43,433
♪ By the timeI grab my books ♪
40
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:44,834
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
41
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:48,266
♪ I'm at the cornerjust in time ♪
42
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,567
♪ It's all right,it's all right ♪
43
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,567
♪ Saved by the bell,it's all right ♪
44
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,400
♪ It's all right,saved by the bell ♪
45
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,834
♪ It's all right ♪
46
00:01:57,967 --> 00:02:01,967
♪ 'Cause I'm savedby the bell ♪
47
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:08,300
[school bell ringing]
48
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:10,100
- [laughs quietly]
49
00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,133
- You texting Jamie again?
50
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,467
- Yeah, but just
about football stuff.
51
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,800
- Mm, by football stuff, do
you mean going to third base?
52
00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:18,500
- That's baseball.
53
00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:19,767
Learn about the sport I play.
54
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,900
- I can't, okay?
It's too boring.
55
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:24,033
Listen, I know you're
in love with Jamie.
56
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:25,834
- [scoffs]
No, I'm not.
57
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:28,367
I mean, yes,
Jamie is superhot,
58
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,734
but I don't like him.
59
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:31,900
He's too dumb for me
to date anyway.
60
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,200
Right?
61
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:37,600
- Well, he did once ask me
if skeletons are real.
62
00:02:37,734 --> 00:02:39,467
- Still, there's no denying
63
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,633
you two would make
a really cute couple.
64
00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:45,300
- You have never talked to us
on the bus before.
65
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,900
- Or taken off your headphones.
66
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:49,233
Or used the word cute.
Are you okay?
67
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:53,166
- I mean, can't a guy
just be in a good mood?
68
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,367
- Oh, hell no, he's scaring me.
69
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,967
♪ ♪
70
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,133
- Hey, G.
- Hey.
71
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,066
- I know you're riding high
after a stunning performance
72
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,500
this weekend,
but brace yourself.
73
00:03:03,633 --> 00:03:05,567
Tanner's review
in the Bayside Bugle
74
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,800
is about to drop any moment.
75
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:09,967
- So?
- [scoffs] "So?"
76
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,467
Tanner's reviews
are famously cruel.
77
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,667
His takedown of "Annie"
was so savage,
78
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:15,834
the dog who played Sandy
79
00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:19,166
ate a giant chocolate bar
on purpose.
80
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,500
- Lexi, it's fine.
81
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,834
I don't care
what same stranger says.
82
00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:25,734
- Wow, what a healthy outlook.
83
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:27,734
He'll hurt you the most.
84
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:31,600
♪ ♪
85
00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:35,900
- This weekend in the hospital,
I had an epiphany.
86
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:40,867
When did we all become
slaves to these?
87
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,500
Seriously, think about it.
88
00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:46,033
When was the last time you had
a face-to-face conversation?
89
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,266
When was the last time
you went into nature
90
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,400
and stuck your hand
into a hole in a tree
91
00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:53,734
just to see what was there?
92
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:54,633
Indeed--
- Hey, man.
93
00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:56,100
We gotta go to class.
- All right.
94
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:57,433
I'm banning cell phones.
95
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,767
I need all of you
to take the kids' phones away.
96
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,934
[people groaning]
97
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,633
And I'm limiting
Internet access
98
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:05,967
on all computers
to just Weather.com
99
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,767
and a blog that I like
about the First Punic War.
100
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,800
- Ron, I get the appeal
of all this,
101
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:13,800
but phones are not necessarily
a bad thing.
102
00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:16,800
Research shows kids today
are doing less drugs,
103
00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:19,066
getting in fewer fights,
and having less sex.
104
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,800
- Nerds.
105
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,900
- And this definitely isn't
because everyone posted videos
106
00:04:24,033 --> 00:04:26,133
of you breaking your penis
in the orchestra pit, right?
107
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,734
- No, and phones are banned!
108
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:31,266
[people grumbling]
109
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,934
♪ ♪
110
00:04:33,066 --> 00:04:35,567
- [laughing]
111
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,500
- Whoever you're texting
must be pretty funny.
112
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:42,667
Who is it, Gabriel Iglesias
or your boyfriend, Jamie?
113
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,066
- Oh, my God, stop.
I don't like Jamie.
114
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,400
I mean, look at this.
115
00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,300
- How did he make "hallway"
harder to spell?
116
00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:50,333
- I know!
117
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:51,500
Jamie is hot,
118
00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:53,333
but even if he did like me,
119
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,734
I could never date this dummy.
120
00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:57,433
[phone dings]
Oh, I hit audio record.
121
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:59,233
Yikes.
Wouldn't want to send that.
122
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,533
[phone chirps]
Oh, God.
123
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,066
I sent that to him.
124
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,533
Take it back, Siri!
Take it back!
125
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,100
- Sorry, new policy.
126
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:08,000
You'll get your phone back
at the end of the day.
127
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,333
- No! You can't...
- Calm down.
128
00:05:10,467 --> 00:05:12,000
Life only gets worse.
129
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:17,967
♪ ♪
130
00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:23,333
- But Tanner's review.
131
00:05:23,467 --> 00:05:25,734
How am I supposed to read it
and anonymously bully him
132
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,266
in the comments section
without my phone?
133
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,834
- I have a way.
134
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,934
- Wait, you have two phones?
- Hell yeah.
135
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:35,867
My parents track my location,
136
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,367
so I pay a nerd to take
that one to the library,
137
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:39,767
and this one comes with me.
138
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,233
You can use it,
but it'll cost you.
139
00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:42,667
- Oh, if you're asking me
to break Jennifer's leg,
140
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,767
done and done.
141
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,734
- No, 25¢ a minute.
142
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,567
- Here.
143
00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:54,333
"Surf's up?
More like, that sucked."
144
00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:55,700
Damn.
145
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,166
That's undeniably catchy
wordplay.
146
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,433
Here.
147
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,667
- Wow.
148
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,500
He hated the singing,
the acting,
149
00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:03,934
the costumes, the sets...
150
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:05,400
Oh, wait.
He liked the lighting.
151
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,100
- Oh.
- Never mind.
152
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,533
Just the part at the end
when they went out
153
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,867
and he knew the show was over.
154
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,600
- Look, I'll take care of this.
155
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,467
- Another 25¢, please.
156
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,834
- Are you kidding?
157
00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:17,967
No one just carries around
a bunch of loose change.
158
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,834
- Then what goes in a purse?
159
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,800
♪ ♪
160
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:23,500
- I can't believe I sent that.
161
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,367
This is a disaster.
162
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,467
- Maybe Jamie's phone got taken
away before he saw it.
163
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:33,333
- Yeah.
That's a possibility.
164
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,033
- Oh.
165
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,834
- Aisha, let's stop
playing games.
166
00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:41,200
Well, I mean,
except for football.
167
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,667
And also, you should know
that I'm full-on addicted
168
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:48,066
to "Call of Duty,"
but what I'm trying to say is,
169
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,433
will you go to dinner
with me tonight?
170
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,600
- Life's so short.
Let's make it lunch.
171
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:58,066
- Lunch.
That's even more romantic.
172
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,900
- If only I had my phone,
I'd destroy Tanner
173
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,166
in the comments section.
174
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,567
It took me less
than three words
175
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,834
to get Jeremy Renner
to quit his music career.
176
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,967
- Well, well, well.
177
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,200
It sure is nice knowing
my tough but fair
178
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,367
but brutal but true
review of the play
179
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:18,834
is up on the Internet
going undisputed.
180
00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:20,700
Not a comment in sight.
181
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,066
- You better watch out, Tanner,
182
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,734
or I'll leave a comment
to your face.
183
00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:26,700
- Oh, I'd love to see you try.
184
00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,867
- Hey, Lexi, who cares?
185
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,300
Just back off, man.
186
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,333
- Like you backed off
those high notes
187
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:34,300
Friday night?
- [scoffs]
188
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:35,700
- Okay.
189
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,867
It's not a good idea
to get in my face like that.
190
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,266
- Oh, I'm sorry,
191
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,400
you don't quite pull off
intimidating bully,
192
00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:42,600
just like you didn't
have the range
193
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:45,200
for beloved surf soldier
Bernard Kahunski.
194
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,900
- Just get out of here, dude.
- [shouting]
195
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:49,567
Journalism under attack!
Ooh!
196
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,700
Everybody look at this bully
bullying me!
197
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,500
Close the door!
198
00:07:54,633 --> 00:07:57,867
♪ ♪
199
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,900
- Please, that's what you
believe?
200
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:01,166
- Oh, that is what I believe.
201
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,600
God, I wish that I had my phone
so that I could prove it.
202
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,967
- Prove what,
that you're an idiot?
203
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,967
That's crazy.
204
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,834
- Like.
Like that outfit.
205
00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:17,867
♪ ♪
206
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:20,467
- Hey, buddy.
207
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,300
- Why are you hiding
in a closet?
208
00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:23,400
- I'm not hiding.
I'm in here
209
00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:24,867
so that people
do know where I am.
210
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,834
I'm the only person in school
that has a phone,
211
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,934
and kids are willing to pay
to use said phone.
212
00:08:29,066 --> 00:08:30,133
But how are they to find me?
213
00:08:30,266 --> 00:08:32,033
Solution:
I stay in this closet all day.
214
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,633
- So you've become a pay phone?
- No, no, no.
215
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,266
This is a very
complicated scheme
216
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,667
that is not pay phone related.
217
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,600
- Yeah--
218
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:38,734
- Is this the phone
I can pay to use?
219
00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:41,066
- It is, just insert
your quarter into the slot.
220
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,533
♪ ♪
221
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,734
- I'm sorry,
but why are we here?
222
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,867
- He's here
because he's in trouble.
223
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:48,734
You, I don't know.
224
00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,567
I've asked you repeatedly
to leave.
225
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,400
- I'm shook.
Devante barely pushed Tanner.
226
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,667
- Unfortunately,
it's not that easy.
227
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,066
Tanner's mom is the president
of the PTA,
228
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,533
and she's asking
the school board
229
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,367
for the most severe punishment
available.
230
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,567
- Oh, no.
231
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,967
He cannot go on your podcast,
Toddman.
232
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,867
Every episode is a two-hour
dive into a different
233
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,333
Steely Dan song--
it's inhumane.
234
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:12,033
- She's asked for expulsion.
235
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,533
- Oh.
236
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:14,567
Well, that's bad too.
237
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:15,734
♪ ♪
238
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,500
- Don't worry, D.
239
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:23,266
I got a nerd
to help us figure this out.
240
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,867
- Who, Mervin?
241
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,133
Oh, me.
Tell me what happened.
242
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,500
- Okay, so we had just read
Tanner's theater review.
243
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,867
Wait, back up.
Do you know who Tanner is?
244
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,066
Wait, back up.
Do you know what theater is?
245
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,533
Not what people think it is
but what it really is.
246
00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:37,633
- Okay, this will go
a lot faster
247
00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:39,100
if Devante just explains it.
248
00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:40,700
What happened?
249
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,934
- Yo.
250
00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:46,166
- Bet. Let's go.
251
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:49,700
♪ ♪
252
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:51,800
- I wish you had just
come to me, Jade,
253
00:09:51,934 --> 00:09:53,400
instead of going directly
to the school board.
254
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:54,734
- Why?
255
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:55,934
So you could sweep an act
of student violence
256
00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:56,967
under the rug?
257
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,600
- Nobody's sweeping anything
under the rug.
258
00:09:58,734 --> 00:10:01,166
You demanded a disciplinary
hearing this morning.
259
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,800
It's happening this afternoon.
260
00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,400
- Your Honor, speaking as
the highest elected authority
261
00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:06,700
in the sophomore class,
262
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,700
I motion for an immediate
dismissal.
263
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:10,166
[record scratches]
264
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,000
I've seen, like, 1,000 episodes
of "Law and Order,"
265
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,433
even the weird ones
with Jeff Goldblum.
266
00:10:14,567 --> 00:10:16,600
- Uh, Daisy,
this is just a hearing.
267
00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:17,734
It's not a trial.
268
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,133
- Right, no need for lawyers.
269
00:10:19,266 --> 00:10:22,767
I mean, I am one,
and I will be there.
270
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,533
- Again, this is not a trial.
271
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,500
It's a hearing
in front of a panel
272
00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:29,533
of school board administrators.
273
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,533
- Couldn't agree more.
Not a trial.
274
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:32,700
See you in court.
275
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:36,367
[tense music]
276
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,800
- Devante, you really
should have an adult here
277
00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:40,467
to speak on your behalf.
278
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,133
I've called your grandmother,
but I haven't heard back.
279
00:10:43,266 --> 00:10:45,967
Now, we could get you
a school-appointed adult,
280
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,166
but just so that you know,
it is Slater.
281
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,567
- Nah, I'm good.
282
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,433
♪ ♪
283
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,367
- This is so nice, Jamie.
284
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,633
Maybe too nice.
285
00:10:57,767 --> 00:10:59,567
I mean,
you don't really know me.
286
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,233
I could be the kind of person
287
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,533
who says mean things behind
people's back for no reason.
288
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:06,600
- No, I couldn't imagine that,
and I'm great at imagining.
289
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:07,700
Here, check it out.
290
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,600
Blue cat on a bike.
291
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,300
He just ate a pizza.
[chuckles]
292
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:14,333
- Oh, you are good at that.
- Thank you.
293
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:15,667
- Oh, I hope it's okay.
294
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,133
I ordered for us.
295
00:11:17,266 --> 00:11:18,500
- How'd you know?
296
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,200
- Because I listen to you,
297
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,734
and also because your
Instagram handle is,
298
00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,133
"Get you someone
who looks at you like
299
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,767
I look at pigs in a blanket."
300
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,900
[both laugh]
It's funny.
301
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,133
That's how I imagine you
laughing when you text "lol."
302
00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,767
all: Ooh!
303
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,467
- Stop eavesdropping, pervs.
304
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:35,333
- We're not.
305
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:36,667
We're the Bayside
a cappella group.
306
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,200
[all singing]
307
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:44,066
♪ Ooh, baby, I love your way,
every day, yeah ♪
308
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,734
- [sighs]
This is so fun.
309
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:48,300
We should do it again tomorrow.
310
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,600
- Uh, yeah, Jamie,
311
00:11:51,734 --> 00:11:52,633
what would you want to do
together
312
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,266
if we only had today?
313
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,834
Like, I was gonna die tomorrow
314
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,834
or more specifically
at 3:00 p.m. today
315
00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:00,500
when we get our phones back.
316
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,333
- Oh, that's easy.
317
00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:03,967
I'd like to spend
your final hours
318
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,734
having the most perfect,
romantic day of all time.
319
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:10,400
- Yeah, uh, me too.
320
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:11,967
all: Aww.
321
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,100
- That time, we were
just listening.
322
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:17,000
- This is so wrong.
323
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,700
A same-day hearing
for one shove?
324
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:21,667
This would never happen
to a Bayside student.
325
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,100
- Yeah, I see Bayside kids
literally flush
326
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:25,200
each other's heads
down the toilets
327
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,734
every single day
and not do a thing to stop it.
328
00:12:27,867 --> 00:12:29,967
- Exactly.
Wait, what?
329
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,467
- Look, we know Devante
is a good kid.
330
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,700
Can't we just tell this Jade
to go kick rocks
331
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:35,834
like I did with my landlord?
332
00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:37,200
- Because it's not just Jade.
333
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:38,834
Every day
I'm getting voicemails
334
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,066
from parents
who are not happy
335
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,834
about the Douglas
students being here.
336
00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:43,834
I thought it was going
to calm down by now.
337
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:46,633
It's just gotten worse,
and the last thing we need
338
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,767
is to give them something else
to be mad about.
339
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,000
- So you're willing
to sacrifice Devante
340
00:12:51,133 --> 00:12:52,433
to appease these people?
341
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:54,300
He's just a scapegoat to you.
342
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,667
- Jessie, we can't call
people that anymore.
343
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,066
- Listen, I hate this.
344
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,667
I care about all these kids,
345
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,100
but this hearing,
it's happening.
346
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:02,600
I don't know what else to do.
347
00:13:02,734 --> 00:13:04,600
- Wait.
348
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:06,867
What do you think
scapegoat means?
349
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,133
♪ ♪
350
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,834
- Come on, Devante.
351
00:13:09,967 --> 00:13:11,166
Work with us here.
352
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,667
Why can't you just
ask your grandma?
353
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,367
- 'Cause there's no point.
- Look.
354
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,233
Without a parent
here to protect you,
355
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:17,800
Jade is gonna eat you alive
356
00:13:17,934 --> 00:13:19,834
and then spin off the calories
on her Peloton.
357
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,667
- Lexi, I am not calling
my grandma.
358
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,266
She's a sick old lady
who lives an hour away,
359
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,600
and she knows
how these things go.
360
00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:30,867
- You have to fight
for yourself, for your dreams,
361
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,300
for the rap party sponsored
by Gatorade Red Chill.
362
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,533
- No.
No, this is on me.
363
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,066
I let my guard down.
364
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,233
I messed up.
365
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:39,867
Now it's hopeless.
366
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,900
♪ ♪
367
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:43,800
- I've never been hopeless
in my life.
368
00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:46,533
♪ ♪
369
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,266
Like, I still have hope
that Bella and The Weeknd
370
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,600
will get back together...
371
00:13:50,734 --> 00:13:52,834
and I'm the one
who broke them up.
372
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:55,567
♪ ♪
373
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,533
[indistinct chatter]
374
00:13:58,667 --> 00:14:01,533
[curious music]
375
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:05,233
♪ ♪
376
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:08,166
- I'm so bored from not being
able to play Crossy Road.
377
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,433
I wonder what heroin's like.
378
00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:11,066
- Did you find anything?
379
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,100
- Um, the last time
380
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:15,066
someone got expelled
from Bayside was 1971,
381
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,500
and he was a member
of the Manson family, so...
382
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:19,166
it doesn't really apply here.
- Okay.
383
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,367
Well, Devante is still
refusing to call his grandma.
384
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,500
- Well, maybe there's a reason
385
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:23,934
he doesn't want
to get her involved.
386
00:14:24,066 --> 00:14:25,934
- Yeah, 'cause he's given up.
387
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,834
Look, at Bayside,
when you're in trouble,
388
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,834
you call your parents,
and they come fix it.
389
00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:32,333
I pushed Ms. Mandrake
into the La Brea Tar Pits,
390
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:33,900
and after my dad got involved,
391
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:36,300
she had to pay
for my dry cleaning.
392
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:39,867
Now, if Devante doesn't
call his grandmother, I will.
393
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,567
- It sounds like you two
need a phone.
394
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,834
Oh, you looking at my cord?
395
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,533
Yeah, people kept trying
to run off with my phone,
396
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:50,367
so I devised a security system.
397
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:54,433
- You are a pay phone.
398
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,934
- No, I'm not.
I'm an inventor.
399
00:14:57,066 --> 00:14:57,967
- The only thing
you've invented
400
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,800
is a new way to be selfish.
401
00:14:59,934 --> 00:15:01,633
The school is falling apart,
Mac,
402
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,433
and your instinct
is to extort everyone?
403
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:06,633
If you're such a genius,
think of a way to help Devante.
404
00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:08,633
- Okay, we've wasted
enough time.
405
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,400
I'm getting Devante's
grandmother now.
406
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:14,333
Okay, so here's the thing,
407
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:15,700
I don't have a phone
or an address,
408
00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:17,166
and I can't get anywhere
without a phone.
409
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,867
- I can draw you a map.
- Ew.
410
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,200
- I can come with you.
- Double ew.
411
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,834
Okay, fine.
I'm gonna get the car.
412
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,934
- Hey, uh,
what are you guys doing?
413
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,667
- Ooh, we're living
like we only have today
414
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,800
for some reason.
415
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:34,066
- Oh, fun.
Aisha, can I talk to you?
416
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:37,100
You know this can't last.
417
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,333
He's gonna get his phone back.
- Not till 3:00 p.m.
418
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:40,900
Just let me live like
there's no tomorrow, bitch.
419
00:15:41,033 --> 00:15:42,533
Okay? Please.
420
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,834
- Okay.
Bye, Daisy.
421
00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:46,600
[upbeat music]
422
00:15:46,734 --> 00:15:48,800
- ♪ Ooh, baby,I love your way ♪
423
00:15:48,934 --> 00:15:50,667
- That looks like a penis.
424
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,300
[both laugh]
425
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:53,633
- It does.
426
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:57,400
- ♪ Wanna tell youI love your way ♪
427
00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:59,066
[both laughing]
428
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,667
- What are you doing here?
429
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,900
Do not use the emergency safety
shower for sexy fun!
430
00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:05,834
- ♪ Yeah ♪
431
00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:13,066
♪ ♪
432
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,000
- I would like to submit
into evidence
433
00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:22,967
this reenactment
of today's assault.
434
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,033
[tense music]
435
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:30,900
♪ ♪
436
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,033
- Hey, Tanner!
437
00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:34,900
Say I'm a good singer
or I'll kill you.
438
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:39,433
♪ ♪
439
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,734
- We have brought you counsel.
440
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,734
- What did you do?
441
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:45,066
- We got your grandma.
442
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,834
You needed someone
to fight for you.
443
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:49,767
♪ ♪
444
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:51,033
- All right.
445
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,800
I heard they're trying
to expel you.
446
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:55,500
I'll save everyone some time.
447
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,834
I'm pulling Devante
out of this school.
448
00:16:57,967 --> 00:16:59,066
- What?
449
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,300
I thought you were
gonna fix this.
450
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:02,066
- Oh, baby, I just did.
451
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,333
♪ ♪
452
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:11,066
- I am dying without texting.
453
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,200
I have the hottest goss
and need to spill.
454
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,600
- I'm not selfish.
455
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,667
I'm a nice inventor.
456
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,333
I'm so not a pay phone.
457
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:21,000
[sings three notes]
458
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,700
If you'd like to continue
this call,
459
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,066
please insert another 25¢.
460
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,066
- So Tanner and Abby
hooked up Friday night,
461
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,433
and afterwards,
he totally ghosted her.
462
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:34,900
Yeah, they went
to the Kanye concert,
463
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:36,367
and after he sang "Runaway,"
464
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,233
Abby looked over,
and Tanner had...run away.
465
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,767
- Okay,
Grandma Doris was a bust.
466
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,500
I mean, she did tell me
a really cool story
467
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:55,934
but you only know how Bayside
works for kids like you.
468
00:17:56,066 --> 00:17:58,033
You're asking Devante
and his grandma
469
00:17:58,166 --> 00:18:00,400
to believe in a system that's
screwed them over before.
470
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,400
[door opens]
471
00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:04,467
- I played your sick
little game, Daisy.
472
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,166
I figured out
how to save our friend.
473
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,333
- What, how?
- What would you give me
474
00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:10,400
if I could selflessly
provide you information
475
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:11,900
that could get
Devante off the hook?
476
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:13,467
- It's not selfless
if you're asking
477
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,066
for something in return.
- All right. Okay.
478
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,100
Sorry, I'm new at this.
Let me try again.
479
00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,333
I know how to save Devante,
but it'll cost you.
480
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,767
I will do this out
of the goodness of my heart..
481
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,967
- Aww.
482
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,967
- For just 3 easy payments
of $25.99.
483
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,367
- Dude, come on.
- I'm sor--I'm trying so hard.
484
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,934
- Okay, just tell us.
- Okay.
485
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,633
Tanner went to the Kanye
concert with Abby
486
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,967
on Friday night, meaning
he did not go to the play
487
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,834
and the whole review is a sham.
488
00:18:36,967 --> 00:18:38,333
- Oh, my God, Mac,
that's it.
489
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:41,333
We can threaten to expose
Tanner and ruin his career
490
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:42,700
as a high school theater critic
491
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:44,567
if he doesn't drop
his fake-ass charges.
492
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,000
- But how do we prove it?
493
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,567
- I bet that thirstoid, Abby,
494
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,367
has photos of them
at the concert on her phone.
495
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,567
We should break into the phone
room to get her phone,
496
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,433
and you know,
if Jamie's phone gets damaged
497
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,300
beyond repair in the process,
498
00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:01,200
that is a sacrifice
I'm willing to make.
499
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,467
- Me too.
- Okay.
500
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,900
You guys go get the phone.
501
00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:06,100
I'm gonna go talk to D,
get him to buy us some time.
502
00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,734
- Cool, let's go.
- Follow me.
503
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:08,900
Wait.
504
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,600
Hey, wait, guys.
505
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,667
[coins clinking]
506
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:13,767
[groans]
507
00:19:17,734 --> 00:19:19,900
- Okay, so I have good news
and bad news.
508
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,200
The good news is while
Mac was a pay phone
509
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:23,200
he found a way
to clear your name.
510
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,900
- That's the good news?
511
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,133
Oh, no.
512
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,567
- The bad news is me.
513
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,633
Jade is a racist skeleton
slathered in Juvederm,
514
00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:34,633
but I'm supposed to be
your friend.
515
00:19:34,767 --> 00:19:36,667
I spent all day dismissing
516
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,266
how exhausting and painful
this must be.
517
00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:44,233
You know, I realized
what Tanner did to you
518
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:47,533
wasn't just uncool,
it was dangerous.
519
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,900
I mean, do you even want
to stay at a school
520
00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:54,300
full of Tanners
and Jades and me's?
521
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,266
- No.
522
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,900
I guess this is goodbye.
523
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:01,700
Of course I want to stay here,
dumdum.
524
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,033
Look, Lexi,
you're not a Tanner or a Jade.
525
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,233
You're my friend.
526
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:06,600
The play was fun,
527
00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:08,934
and I kind of like it here
at Bayside.
528
00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:10,266
Also, I refuse to meet
529
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,667
an entire new group
of white people.
530
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,500
- Okay, but what do we do?
531
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,967
I mean, we need time to find
evidence against Tanner,
532
00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:20,367
- Well, maybe I can get her
533
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,367
to restart the trial
and buy us some time.
534
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:24,667
- Do you think
she'll agree to that?
535
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,767
I mean, you said it yourself,
she has no reason to believe
536
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,300
this will work out
in your favor.
537
00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:30,633
Do you even believe it?
538
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,600
- It doesn't matter
what I believe.
539
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,934
Second greatest.
I go here.
540
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,400
Third greatest--
Kristen Stewart went here
541
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,934
and she doesn't get
enough credit.
542
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:49,400
- [yelps]
543
00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,200
[shudders]
544
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:55,000
- Hey, Mac.
545
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,734
Oh, hey, that's my phone.
546
00:21:01,867 --> 00:21:02,734
You can go through it
if you want.
547
00:21:02,867 --> 00:21:06,333
The passcode is 8008, boob.
548
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,300
- Wait, you don't care if I go
through your phone?
549
00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:11,967
- No.
- That's crazy.
550
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,066
There's not weird stuff on
here you don't want me to see?
551
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,834
- Oh, yeah,
there definitely is,
552
00:21:15,967 --> 00:21:17,367
but what's the point
of starting a relationship
553
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,166
if it's not from a place
of complete trust, you know?
554
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:21,467
- Oh, come on.
555
00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:28,633
You've never done that before?
556
00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:31,133
- No, of course not.
557
00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:33,667
Aisha, we just spent
the most perfect day together.
558
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,400
Why would I ruin that
be deceiving you?
559
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:41,800
- You're right.
560
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,600
I could never date this dummy.
561
00:21:49,734 --> 00:21:52,333
♪ ♪
562
00:21:52,467 --> 00:21:54,233
- Oh.
563
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:57,734
- Oh, look,
I found Abby's phone.
564
00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:06,033
- We are going to get Devante
into another good school.
565
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:08,333
I promise I'm gonna do
everything in my power.
566
00:22:08,467 --> 00:22:11,500
- Do you have any power?
- No.
40852
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