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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,515 Tommy... 2 00:00:15,308 --> 00:00:16,601 the tape. 3 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,230 Fuck the police! We'll get our own guy. 4 00:00:21,314 --> 00:00:23,274 - Let me do some digging here. - (SCREAMS) 5 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,109 Where the fuck do I find this guy? 6 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:28,738 He's not here. 7 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,365 Don't worry. He'll turn up eventually. 8 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,493 Seattle. Let me guess, webcams. 9 00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:36,162 - Very good, yeah. - They say it's the future of porn. 10 00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:37,705 And I would agree with them. 11 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:39,957 TOM: I love you so much. 12 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:43,127 PAM: There's a bunch of camera guys sitting around watching us have sex. 13 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,630 Do you have any idea how humiliating it was? 14 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:46,714 You're being too chill. 15 00:00:46,798 --> 00:00:49,050 Every second that passes, the tape could be spreading. 16 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,385 Baby, we will get it back. This will all be fine. 17 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,512 Hey, Tommy. 18 00:00:52,512 --> 00:00:54,472 You did the right thing by coming in. 19 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,230 MAN: (ON TV) Hey, gorgeous. 20 00:01:02,772 --> 00:01:05,233 - Oh, my God. - WOMAN: (ON TV) Who's driving, baby? 21 00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:07,193 (BOTH LAUGH) 22 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,779 Look at my beautiful husband. 23 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,281 - (BOAT HORN HONKS) - I love you! 24 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,950 - What's up? - (BOAT HORN HONKS) 25 00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:16,160 WOMAN: What's up? Woo! 26 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:19,997 Did he just honk a boat horn with his penis? 27 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,707 Yes, he did. 28 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,462 The jokes, they write themselves. 29 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,548 He's never gonna go for it. 30 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,551 Jay loves dick jokes. He did two years straight on Bobbitt. 31 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:34,011 You think it's too risqué or... 32 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:37,056 Not too risqué. Too obscure. 33 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:41,185 If Uncle Jim and Aunt Susie in Duluth don't know about it. 34 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,104 You do the shittiest Leno. 35 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,320 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 36 00:01:51,404 --> 00:01:52,405 Come in. 37 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:54,699 Got a sec? 38 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,492 It's all over town. 39 00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,995 They're selling it online through a website. 40 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,915 There's so many angles to it. 41 00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:05,459 Technology. Celebrity. Privacy. 42 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,962 Are you pitching a story? 43 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,213 Why not? 44 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:12,758 The Los Angeles Times is not doing a story on a sex tape. 45 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:16,429 A celebrity sex tape, that's been commercially sold. 46 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:20,266 I'm confounded by what aspect of this you consider news. 47 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,851 It's totally news. 48 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,812 - Nothing like this has... - I'm sorry, Alicia. 49 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:28,316 You want to write a story about Pam Anderson having sex on a boat, 50 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,860 you're free to go write for the National Enquirer. 51 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,614 Oh, shit. You have it? 52 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,956 He goes, "You sure you don't want a stunt double?" 53 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,876 I'm like, "Hell no. Put me on that motorcycle. Let's go." 54 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,211 (LAUGHS) 55 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,921 What choice do I have? I mean, 56 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,798 you try finding a stuntman that matches my measurements. 57 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,052 It feels like you and Barb have a lot in common. 58 00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:59,764 Yeah. Well, no. Well, I hope so. I mean, she's kind of my idol. 59 00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,515 What is your favorite thing about her? 60 00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,517 Oh, God, good question. 61 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,605 I guess I would have to say her toughness. 62 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:08,689 - Yeah? - Yeah. 63 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,942 You know, no matter what life throws at her, 64 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,152 no matter how bad it gets, she just... 65 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,197 fearlessly powers through. 66 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,450 Do you feel like you take after her in that way? 67 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:22,245 I mean, not to pat myself on the back or anything, 68 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,330 but, yes. Definitely. 69 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,541 When something bad happens, all I want to do is move on, 70 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:30,169 move past it, put it behind me. Yeah. 71 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,046 Does that usually work out for you? 72 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,466 Bad stuff happens. 73 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,970 You know? What's the point in dwelling on it? 74 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,232 PAM: Tommy. 75 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,276 Hey. 76 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,569 What are you doing? 77 00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:00,700 I was... 78 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,412 you know. 79 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,163 Baby. 80 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,291 Oh, come here. 81 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,377 PAM: Oh. 82 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,135 (SIGHS) 83 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,140 (WHISPERS) You want to know a secret? 84 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,224 (SIGHS) 85 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,685 Yeah. 86 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,064 I'm really... 87 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,608 - Yeah? - ...sad. 88 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,244 I know. 89 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:51,959 Me, too. 90 00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:58,758 You seem fine. 91 00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,345 No, I'm not fine. I'm just... 92 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,222 I'm distracted. 93 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:11,395 How did it go? 94 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:13,939 The Glamour interview? 95 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,233 - Yeah. - It was great. 96 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,777 We spoke for, like... 97 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,321 two hours. 98 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:22,740 Wow. 99 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:27,078 I can't believe I'm actually gonna be in a women's magazine. 100 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,538 Oh. (SIGHS) 101 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,167 I'm so stoked for you. 102 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,003 Thank you. It's exciting. 103 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,342 - Hey. - Yeah? 104 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,802 I was thinking, you know... 105 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,555 maybe I could make dinner later. 106 00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,559 I can't tonight. I'm going out. 107 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,561 You are? 108 00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:55,106 I'm sorry, baby. Remember, it's that... 109 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,943 Entertainment Weekly thingy. 110 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,529 - Oh, that's tonight. - Yeah. 111 00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,697 Hmm. 112 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,368 - Come on. - Hey, sure. 113 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,954 - You can do it. - Of course. (CHUCKLES) 114 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:11,372 Fuck it. 115 00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:12,873 - Of course. - Come on. 116 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,999 Refill, por favor! 117 00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:01,881 What the fuck is this shit? 118 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,342 Sleater-Kinney. So fucking good. 119 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,793 (URINATING) 120 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,838 Oh, shit. 121 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,216 Tommy fucking Lee. 122 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:47,593 Sup, brother? 123 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,887 - Yo, big fan, man. - Oh, thanks, bro. 124 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,973 Oh, yo, that tape? 125 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,686 That's the best thing you've put out since Girls, Girls, Girls, yo. 126 00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:00,481 Girls, Girls, Girls. 127 00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:04,652 That was 1987. 128 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:06,946 - Yeah. - Yeah. 129 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,822 (LAUGHS) 130 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,535 And you think that's... 131 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:17,122 the best thing I've done in nine years? 132 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:19,917 Oh, no. No, no, no. 133 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,294 - Sounded like you said... - That's not what I meant. 134 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,004 You fuck! 135 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,340 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 136 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,347 TV REPORTER: We start tonight with the latest antics 137 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,933 from Mötley Crüe drummer, Tommy Lee. 138 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,352 The notorious bad boy rocker 139 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,605 got himself thrown out of The Viper Room early this morning 140 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:45,234 after getting into an alleged altercation with a pair of men 141 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,986 in the club's restroom. 142 00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:51,907 Eyewitnesses said, Lee, the hubby of Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson, 143 00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:54,368 appeared to be highly intoxicated 144 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:58,831 as he was forcibly removed from the infamous Sunset Strip nightclub 145 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,749 by security personnel. 146 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:02,710 This is not helpful. 147 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,588 Everything he does reflects on you. 148 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:09,133 If he is a train wreck, you are a train wreck by association. 149 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,218 (SIGHS) I understand. 150 00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:13,846 Classy A-list actresses do not have this stuff. 151 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:17,057 You don't see Hard Copy doing a story on Sandra Bullock's husband 152 00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:19,351 - getting tossed out of the Viper Room. - No. 153 00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:22,646 No, I get it. I'll talk to him. It won't happen again. 154 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,773 I hope not. For your sake, Pammy. 155 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,191 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 156 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,236 (SIGHS) What was it about, anyway? 157 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,614 Um... 158 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,282 The fight? 159 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,536 What? 160 00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,289 Um... well, it's nothing. Um. 161 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,499 Pamela. 162 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,960 It's nothing. It's nothing. It's... 163 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,255 Is there something I should know about? 164 00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:52,676 - Jesus. - I mean, super-underground. 165 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,386 Barely anybody knows about it. 166 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,096 How many copies have they sold? 167 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,098 I don't know. 20? 168 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:00,476 - Fifty? - Has anybody written about it yet? 169 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,645 You mean the press? No. 170 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,522 - I don't think so. - You don't think? 171 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,484 I mean, I haven't exactly combed through newsstands. 172 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,486 - Did you do a Web search? - No. 173 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,281 A bunch of publications are on there now. 174 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,617 Started like three months ago. 175 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,745 The whole paper in computer form. 176 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,039 (SCOFFS) That's crazy. 177 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:23,916 - Look. - PAM: I mean, I... 178 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,126 I somehow doubt they're writing about a sex tape. 179 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,711 Maybe not The New York Times, 180 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:31,048 but Star Magazine has a website, National Enquirer, USA today. 181 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,257 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 182 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,468 You can search through all of them at once. 183 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,430 Any mention of the tape from any publication on the site... 184 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,641 I can't look. I can't look. 185 00:10:44,395 --> 00:10:45,729 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 186 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,855 All clear. 187 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,108 Oh, God. Thank God. 188 00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:50,234 No news. 189 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,152 Just the links to the video. 190 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,362 That's good. 191 00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:58,409 Wait. Links? 192 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,585 Oh, no. 193 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:12,840 It's spreading. There's half a dozen different websites selling it. 194 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,176 Well, maybe he's got a bunch of fucking websites. 195 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:22,349 With, um... different... 196 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,730 prices, different addresses, different cover art. 197 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,484 People are making copies. 198 00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:35,654 We'll figure it out, baby. 199 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,699 "We'll figure it out." Tommy, you just... 200 00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:42,619 God, you just don't fucking get it! 201 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,747 Get what? 202 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,083 It's too late. Train's left the station. 203 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,753 Okay. So, what do you want from me? 204 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,464 What I want from you? I wanted you to handle it! 205 00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:55,424 Well, I did my best. All right? 206 00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,593 I did the best I fucking possibly could. 207 00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,387 (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) You sure about that? 208 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,348 What the fuck's that supposed to mean? 209 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,977 Maybe on some level, you wanted this to happen. 210 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,021 Excuse me? 211 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,940 Maybe you like the attention. 212 00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,192 - That's insane. - Yeah. 213 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,526 Or maybe you're scared. 214 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,111 - Oh, I'm scared? - Yeah. Of me. 215 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,238 You're scared of me and my career! 216 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:21,241 Oh, my God, that's right. 'Cause you're about to blow up, right? 217 00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,119 And I'm fucking your shit up. And I'm scared of getting left behind. 218 00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:26,622 Oh, my God! That is fucked up, Pamela. 219 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:29,583 That is seriously fucked up that you would even think that. 220 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,335 I'm not saying you do it on purpose. 221 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,045 - So then what? Subliminal? - Yeah, baby. 222 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:36,423 All I do is root for you! I want you to be huge! 223 00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:39,927 I want you to be the biggest fucking movie star in the entire fucking world! 224 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,763 Thank you, thank you. I fucking hope so. 225 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,640 - You hope so? - Yeah. 226 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,184 You hope so? 227 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,019 (SCOFFS) 228 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,771 Jesus Christ. 229 00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:58,946 By the way, I sold a hundred million fucking albums! 230 00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:03,534 (DRUMS BEATING) 231 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:26,098 (DRUM 'N' BASS MUSIC CONTINUES) 232 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,690 (MAN GRUNTS) 233 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,651 (DRUM 'N' BASS MUSIC CONTINUES) 234 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,794 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 235 00:13:56,712 --> 00:14:00,340 (SCREAMS) 236 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,012 (CLATTERING) 237 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,097 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 238 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,358 What's up, Rose? 239 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,527 Hi, Tommy. They're all here. 240 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,696 Are they? Even Vince? 241 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,281 Believe it or not. 242 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,283 Whoo! 243 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,994 ROSE: You're in B. 244 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,292 "B"? 245 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:38,545 Fucking stripped down. You know, raw. 246 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,505 Almost like kind of punk rock, 247 00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:43,050 but it's kind of like a blues boogie vibe. 248 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:47,220 - Humble Pie, early Aerosmith - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. 249 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:50,015 Yo, fuck's this Studio B shit? 250 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:51,642 MAN: A's booked, man. 251 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:53,769 By who? 252 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,522 Hi. Hi. 253 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,610 Hey. Who the fuck are you guys? 254 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:02,986 Third Eye Blind. 255 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,738 (SCOFFS) 256 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,742 Well, I've got bad news for you, Third Eye Blind. 257 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,621 Studio A is Mötley Crüe room. 258 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,958 Really? That's funny. 259 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:19,127 'Cause we're booked into it for the next six weeks. 260 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,838 By who? 261 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,256 Our label. 262 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,342 Who the fuck's your label? 263 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:26,969 Elektra. 264 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,596 Elektra. 265 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,351 That's... that's our label, Nikki. 266 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,270 - Fuck, man. - Yeah. What the fuck? 267 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,607 They booked these ass clowns in the big room over us? 268 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:41,942 Guess so. 269 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,486 Sorry, man. 270 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,072 Doesn't matter. 271 00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,831 The hottest toy this season is called Tickle Me Elmo. 272 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,208 Millions of children are dying to get their hands on it, 273 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,752 which gives off a high-pitched giggle when you touch it. 274 00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:03,380 Children touch it and it giggles, I thought there was already 275 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,174 something that fit that description. Michael Jackson. 276 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:08,218 LENO: Funny. Think we already did it, though. 277 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,095 - What else? - Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett 278 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:12,556 have filed for divorce. Apparently, it was mutual. 279 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:16,018 Lyle wanted his freedom, and Julia finally bought glasses. 280 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,769 It's good. It's funny. What else? 281 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,523 A tape of Pamela Anderson 282 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,443 and Tommy Lee is going around, depicting the two of them engaged in 283 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,653 all sorts of X-rated sex acts. 284 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,905 Pamela offered no comment on the matter, 285 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,616 not because she refused, but because she still doesn't have 286 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,201 the feeling back in her jaw. 287 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,164 - What tape? - There's this sex tape. 288 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:40,083 - It's all over the place. - People are making copies of it, 289 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,209 playing it at parties. 290 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,879 - Yeah? Where, in Laurel Canyon? - It's bigger than you think. 291 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:46,131 - A lot of people know about it. - Who knows about it? 292 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,674 Uncle Jim and Aunt Susie in Duluth? 293 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,720 - I mean, maybe not them, but... - But who? 294 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,597 Oh, cat's got his tongue. 295 00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:57,601 Let's come up with more stuff. You guys are writers. What else? 296 00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,520 Janet Reno says the FBI is closing in on the Unabomber. 297 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,072 (SIGHS IN EXASPERATION) 298 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,991 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 299 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,285 Hello? 300 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,245 WOMAN: Uh... Mr. Lee? 301 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,705 - Who's this? - Hey. 302 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,918 Hi. My name is Alicia Krentz. I'm with The Los Angeles Times. 303 00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:24,127 The L.A. Times. 304 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:25,879 What do you want? 305 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,799 I don't know if you've been getting my messages, 306 00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:31,635 but I've been trying to reach you for about a week now. 307 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:32,719 Okay. 308 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,556 I was hoping to talk to you about the tape. 309 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:38,141 You want to talk about the tape? 310 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:42,312 ALICIA: If you have a couple of minutes, I'd love to just get your opinion. 311 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,147 My opinion on getting fucking burgled 312 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:45,941 and having to deal with assholes like you? 313 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:47,234 Fuck off! 314 00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:49,611 (SIGHS) 315 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,836 (DIALPAD BEEPING) 316 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,549 It was stolen. The tape. 317 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:13,260 It was in a safe, stolen from their house. 318 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,637 It's not clear if whoever took it was targeting the tape 319 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,472 or if they happened to stumble upon it, 320 00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,891 but either way it was definitively stolen. 321 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,186 They did not want this out there, and they certainly did not want it sold. 322 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,231 Speaking of which, there's more than the one site selling it now. 323 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,692 Pirated copies are sprouting up all over the Web. 324 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,444 Bootlegs of a stolen celebrity sex tape. 325 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,113 I get your reluctance, 326 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,157 given the admittedly tawdry nature of it all. 327 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,908 But I am telling you, Burt... 328 00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:39,286 this is news. 329 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,428 Bob, 330 00:18:56,428 --> 00:19:00,140 when you have a minute, you really should see this. 331 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,938 Is this for real? 332 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,816 It's the realist thing you've seen in a long time. 333 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,535 Everything's gonna be okay. 334 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,667 The tape is gonna go away. 335 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,676 And Barb Wire is gonna be the biggest movie in the world. 336 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,723 Tommy's new album is gonna be the biggest album in the world. 337 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,612 And we're gonna get pregnant again. 338 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:07,165 And we're gonna have a long and happy marriage. 339 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,878 And a beautiful family. 340 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,760 Everything's gonna be beautiful and perfect. 341 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,972 Forever. 342 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,605 (OBJECT CLATTERING IN DISTANCE) 343 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,315 TOMMY: Pamela! 344 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,819 Pamela! Fuck. 345 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,322 PAMELA: Hey, what? 346 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,908 - Bob Guccione, he's got the tape. - Wait. What? 347 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,410 Fucking shit never ends! 348 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,953 Wait. What are you talking about? 349 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,454 Nikki just called me. 350 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:49,624 Donna's best friend, Kimberly, was Penthouse Pet of the Month 351 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,543 last December, and she heard from somebody 352 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,336 at the mansion he's got a hold of it. 353 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:54,963 Well, where did he get it? 354 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:58,049 No idea. But all I know is we're suing the shit out of him. 355 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,176 - Suing him for what? - For what he's gonna do. 356 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,469 What's he gonna do? 357 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:03,763 If I had to guess, fucking running pictures. 358 00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:05,974 What? No. From the tape? 359 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:08,560 I mean, think about it. He'd do anything to stick it to Hef. 360 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,604 And what better way than running a bunch of porno shots of 361 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,566 Hef's golden girl, Ms. Playboy herself. 362 00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:17,652 No, no, no. Maybe somebody just gave it to him... 363 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,406 and he watched it. That's it. He might not be planning anything. 364 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,367 I thought you were the one that was obsessed with shutting this down. 365 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,953 I am. I am. I am. God, I am. I just... 366 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:29,205 Come on. Suing Penthouse when we just... 367 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:31,499 - We don't even... - Let's just talk to a lawyer. 368 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,710 Right? Get a professional opinion. 369 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:35,295 - A lawyer? - Yeah. 370 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:38,465 Let's just see what they say. Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. 371 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,258 Tommy's absolutely right. 372 00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,844 This calls for swift, pre-emptive action. 373 00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:46,306 We file an invasion of privacy lawsuit against Guccione and the magazine 374 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,767 while simultaneously requesting injunctive relief. 375 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,561 - Injunctive relief? - The judge makes sure they don't publish 376 00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,771 any images from the tape. 377 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:54,606 And if they defy that order, then... 378 00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:56,066 We bring down the shit hammer. 379 00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:00,653 Okay. Yeah, but the tape, it's stolen property. 380 00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:03,323 I mean, wouldn't it be illegal for him to run pictures from it? 381 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,408 Think that scumbag gives a fuck about legal? 382 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,285 He can always play the First Amendment card. 383 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,120 Freedom of speech. Freedom of the press. 384 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:10,997 Totally. He loves that shit. 385 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,292 I'm just... I'm concerned. 386 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,587 All right. What's your concern, Pamela? 387 00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,719 My concern is... 388 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:28,098 if he's not planning to do anything and we sue, 389 00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:30,058 he could decide to do it to get back at us. 390 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:32,477 Plus, if we sue, it puts all this attention on the tape. 391 00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:35,105 It could turn into something bigger than it would have been. 392 00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:37,857 It kills off any chance of the whole thing staying underground 393 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:40,735 and just kind of fizzling out on its own. 394 00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:43,446 You know? 395 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,620 Yeah. You need to sue. 396 00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:09,055 MAN: If you don't defend your rights... 397 00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:11,599 It'd be a dangerous precedent to set. 398 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,518 You'd effectively be letting them dictate 399 00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,228 what you can and cannot print. 400 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,774 This is about freedom of speech. 401 00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:24,362 The First Amendment. 402 00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:28,450 Nobody's robbing Bob Guccione 403 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:31,995 of his God-given rights to free expression. 404 00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:34,873 Pull 20 frames, the nastiest bits, 405 00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:36,624 and draw up a press release. 406 00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:39,544 Penthouse has the Pamela Anderson sex tape, 407 00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,920 and is publishing stills. 408 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:43,423 They want chicken, let's play some fucking chicken. 409 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:55,393 - Yes? - Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee 410 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:56,895 are suing Penthouse. 411 00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:01,274 Guccione is planning to run images from the tape in the magazine. 412 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:05,487 Now is it news? 413 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:22,003 (HUMMING) 414 00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,476 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 415 00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:43,691 Honey, how could you not tell me? I would have told you 416 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:47,237 in no uncertain terms, "Do not do it." 417 00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,447 But the lawyers, every one of them said... 418 00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:52,492 - Of course they did. They're lawyers. - And Tommy. Tommy did, too. 419 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:53,618 Another alpha male. 420 00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:56,704 We had to defend our rights. It sets a bad precedent. 421 00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,039 Who told you that? 422 00:24:58,039 --> 00:24:59,958 The one in the red tie or the blue paisley? 423 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,877 You try saying no to a room full of men. 424 00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:04,754 Oh, honey, I do it all day long. 425 00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:06,130 (SIGHS SHARPLY) 426 00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:08,591 Yeah, well, I guess it's easier for some women. 427 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:11,052 No. It's not easy for any woman. 428 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:13,846 We are programmed from birth to say yes to men, 429 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:16,266 but it is a skill you've got to learn. 430 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,019 I mean, this is just... 431 00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:22,355 Ugh... 432 00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:25,024 It's buried toward the back. I mean... 433 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,069 maybe nobody will even see it. 434 00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:30,321 Right? 435 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:44,794 - What the hell? - Do you believe that? 436 00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:05,982 Guys. 437 00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:13,448 Cut. 438 00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:16,659 MAN: Okay. I need this. Move a little bit this way. 439 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,622 (HESITANTLY) I can move myself. 440 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,042 MAN: That's great. 441 00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:32,634 You want some? 442 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:42,560 It was the right move. He was gonna do it... 443 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:44,562 whether we sued or not. 444 00:26:48,191 --> 00:26:50,443 At least now there's a chance of stopping him. 445 00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:55,281 Will you please say something? 446 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:08,544 You're seriously not gonna say anything? 447 00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:11,464 - Come on... - Please don't. 448 00:27:18,930 --> 00:27:19,931 I'm trying. 449 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:23,768 I feel like nothing I do is good enough for you. 450 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:26,604 I mean, I can't win. 451 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:29,607 What do you want from me? What else do you... 452 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:32,068 Don't. Just shut up, shut up, shut up! 453 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,070 - (GLASS BREAKING) - Just shut up! 454 00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:43,996 It's one stupid little article. 455 00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:46,624 WOMAN: I can be bad. 456 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:52,130 WOMAN: It's my first time. 457 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:57,343 Oh, you want to see a little more? I can show you a little bit. 458 00:28:00,263 --> 00:28:02,807 You want me to be your bitch? 459 00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:05,226 I mean, what if I take it off? 460 00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:18,948 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 461 00:28:34,922 --> 00:28:36,007 No. 462 00:28:38,509 --> 00:28:39,761 Fuck Seattle. 463 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:41,846 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 464 00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,307 (SIGHS SHARPLY) 465 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,726 (TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 466 00:28:48,686 --> 00:28:49,687 This is Pam. 467 00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:52,190 - And this is Tommy. - PAM: No, Tommy, seriously. 468 00:28:53,024 --> 00:28:54,358 TOMMY: Please leave a message. 469 00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:58,488 Hey, Pamela. It's Gail. I just tried your cell. 470 00:28:58,488 --> 00:29:01,991 Listen, give me a call. It's about Glamour. 471 00:29:02,408 --> 00:29:04,660 I just got a call from my person there. 472 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:06,954 Just... 473 00:29:07,622 --> 00:29:08,664 Yeah, just call me. 474 00:29:11,167 --> 00:29:13,461 LENO: Speaking of Bob Dole, yesterday, the senator 475 00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:15,755 attacked President Clinton's record on crime. 476 00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:17,131 Yeah. Yeah, he said 477 00:29:17,215 --> 00:29:19,842 Clinton talks like Dirty Harry, but acts like Barney Fife. 478 00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:20,927 Good night, babe. 479 00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:23,638 LENO: This is Dole's way of connecting with the youth vote. 480 00:29:23,638 --> 00:29:25,515 (LENO ON TV LAUGHS) 481 00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:26,766 What else is going on? 482 00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:28,601 I don't know if you guys heard about this. 483 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,561 Apparently, there's a love tape going around 484 00:29:30,645 --> 00:29:33,189 of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. 485 00:29:33,648 --> 00:29:36,442 Yeah. Yeah, a video showing the two of them 486 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:39,320 doing all sorts of X-rated things to each other on a boat. 487 00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:43,241 Apparently, they spend most of the video completely naked. 488 00:29:43,241 --> 00:29:45,701 Yeah. Or as Pam likes to call it, "Work attire." 489 00:29:47,161 --> 00:29:50,122 Yeah, boating safety experts are praising Pam for the tape. 490 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:53,584 In it, she sports not one but two flotation devices. Big ones. 491 00:29:54,669 --> 00:29:56,087 Real big ones. She'll float. 492 00:29:56,087 --> 00:29:57,964 We got a great show for you tonight. 493 00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:00,424 The Goo Goo Dolls are here. We'll be right back. 494 00:30:06,597 --> 00:30:08,182 SANDY: Well, we had this conversation. 495 00:30:08,975 --> 00:30:11,894 We've filed a continuance, so we don't have to deal with that now. 496 00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,440 Hold on, one second. 497 00:30:17,024 --> 00:30:18,109 Maureen? 498 00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:20,027 - Yeah? - Is this the only page? 499 00:30:20,194 --> 00:30:22,238 Uh... Yes. Why? 500 00:30:23,656 --> 00:30:24,824 I gotta call you back. 501 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,164 Um... 502 00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,250 Okay. 503 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,461 Pursuant to rules 26 and 30 504 00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:40,172 of the California Rules of Civil Procedure, 505 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:44,677 you are hereby notified that on April 24th, 1996, 10:00 a.m., 506 00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:48,014 counsel for defendants will take the deposition of Pamela Anderson Lee. 507 00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:51,559 Upon oral examination. 508 00:30:54,312 --> 00:30:55,813 What? Why is it just me? 509 00:30:57,690 --> 00:30:59,025 Maybe they come separate. 510 00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:03,613 I don't know why they need to talk to either of us, we're the plaintiffs. 511 00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:06,490 What's there to say? That's our shit. Quit it. 512 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,035 Doesn't matter. 513 00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:10,870 We're in this together. 514 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:12,955 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 515 00:31:16,042 --> 00:31:17,126 (CHUCKLES) 37500

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