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1
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:15,940
Yeah. Eyes to me.
2
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,030
Yeah, that's good.
3
00:00:22,630 --> 00:00:24,880
So, how long have you been in the States?
4
00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:26,110
Two years.
5
00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:30,330
- Why do you move here?
- Seemed like a good idea at the time.
6
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,140
Keep it to me.
7
00:00:34,420 --> 00:00:36,210
So you're from London?
8
00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:37,700
Yeah.
9
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:40,770
But I moved to Glasgow when I was eleven.
10
00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,100
My boyfriend's family's from Europe.
11
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,690
- Yeah?
- Yeah. We're getting hitched.
12
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,400
My manager wanted us to do
this lame rock wedding thing
13
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:59,090
but we thought we'd sneak up to
Vegas and do it Chapel of Love style.
14
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,340
Sounds great.
15
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,380
Can I just...
16
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,290
Yeah.
17
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,930
He's a great guy too.
18
00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:14,930
Looks like a real hard man, but...
19
00:01:15,530 --> 00:01:17,360
he's a total softy.
20
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,850
And how long have you been into women?
21
00:01:20,860 --> 00:01:23,260
I didn't say I was.
22
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,310
You don't have to.
23
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:02,190
They'll be wanting us out of here.
24
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,640
Better tell them we're still busy.
25
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,040
Yeah?
26
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,130
Karen!
27
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:17,500
When?
28
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,740
I see...
29
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,560
Um... I'm working right now.
30
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,930
Can I get you on this
number in a couple of hours?
31
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,660
Ok, bye.
32
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:38,370
Are you ok?
33
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,290
My aunt just died.
34
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,580
I'm so sorry, were you close?
35
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,490
My uncle and aunt brought
me up after my parents died.
36
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,930
God, I'm so sorry.
37
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:52,650
Don't be.
38
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,490
The way I see it,
39
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,820
one family member down, two to go.
40
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,900
Now, where were we?
41
00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:48,660
"You have three new messages"
42
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,410
"Message one."
43
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,060
Hey, Frankie! Al here. Where are you?
44
00:03:56,340 --> 00:04:00,410
I've been calling your cell for
days. Are you out chasing tail again?
45
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,740
You outrageous tart.
46
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,420
Call me.
47
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,270
"Message two."
48
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:13,170
This is a message for Ms Alan regarding
the outstanding payment on your credit card.
49
00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:18,380
Can you call us to discuss. Thank you.
50
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,330
"Message three."
51
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,670
This is your Aunty Carol here.
52
00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:27,960
Francesca I'm, I'm...
53
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,850
I need you to come home.
54
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:33,510
There's something I want...
55
00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:37,260
I need to tell you face to
face. I hope you'll forgive me.
56
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,940
"You have no more messages."
57
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,050
Cigarette?
58
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:17,530
- All right, gorgeous?! How much?
- Hello!
59
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,020
- So the flight sucked?
- Yeah, well, it would've been fine
60
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:58,220
if the guy next to me hadn't
got to chatting about his kids.
61
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:02,170
See when that happens I just zone
out and stare at the air hostesses.
62
00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:06,390
I have this fantasy about stripping their
clothes off and taking them up the aisle.
63
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:10,010
Jay you have fantasies about
everyone except own mum and sister.
64
00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:11,320
That is not true.
65
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,330
My sister's quite hot.
66
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,250
Are you all right, by the way?
67
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,320
You know, about your aunt.
68
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,670
I haven't spoken to her in ten
years so what's the difference?
69
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:27,740
I've been needing a break from New
York so this was the perfect excuse.
70
00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,880
I was thinking about popping
into the office later for lunch.
71
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,380
Lunch? No, I don't know if
that's such a good idea. Um...
72
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,370
Cat's joined the firm.
73
00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,040
I suppose she's still angry with me?
74
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:45,200
Well, you know, she doesn't really
talk about you much these days.
75
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,940
Were you hoping to see
her while you're over?
76
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,820
Um, maybe.
77
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:52,280
You haven't told her about my aunt?
78
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,000
No!
79
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,450
Look, I haven't told her you're over.
80
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:55,860
I'm keeping well out of this.
81
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,660
Good.
82
00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,000
Cat, look...
83
00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:55,270
This is Chloe's Facebook picture.
84
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:59,170
And this is the picture I took
of her at your birthday party.
85
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:01,640
- One and the same!
- Tess, I just need to...
86
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,010
She dumps me and then the bitch
87
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:06,580
uses a sexy photo I took of
her as her Facebook picture.
88
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,230
Is it just me or is that criminal?
89
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:11,730
- It might just be you.
- She wasn't even on Facebook. She's...
90
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,640
she's probably only on there
91
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:15,720
to lure some new
girlfriend in to her lair.
92
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,120
Do you know what? She is history...
93
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:21,580
They can take her away and
incinerate her for all I care!
94
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,830
- That's my laundry basket.
- Good! She could do with a wash,
95
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:25,330
filthy trollop.
96
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,840
I'm on Gaydar.
97
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,830
The cop just asked me for a drink tonight.
98
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,410
Jesus. Bury the headline!
99
00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:35,380
- Why didn't you say?
- I was trying to. I need
to get back to her.
100
00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:37,010
Do you think I should*
suggest another night?
101
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,150
When I have more time to prepare?
102
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,170
It's a date, Cat,
103
00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:41,850
not the Miss Gay UK pageant.
I thought you liked her.
104
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:44,170
I do which is why I want
to make sure I'm ready.
105
00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:46,560
Frankie was two years ago,
106
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,200
how much more ready can you be?
107
00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:51,480
She's pretty, she's butch, she's a cop.
108
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,580
It's like, she's all your
fantasies rolled in to one.
109
00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:55,130
I need a haircut, and my bedroom's a tip.
110
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:56,390
What if I want to bring her back here?
111
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,500
I mean, I haven't got that
tea stain on the carpet...
112
00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:02,270
Yeah, well, Romeo was nuts for Juliet
till he saw the tea stain on her carpet.
113
00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:05,050
You need to move on.
114
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:09,060
You're going. Tonight. Ok?
115
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:11,690
Tess!
116
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:15,660
Can you take Chloe out
of the laundry basket?
117
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:34,530
It's the second floor.
118
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:37,170
Why don't we go out on
the piss and catch up?
119
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:39,130
You can meet Becky.
120
00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:41,900
Yeah, all right.
121
00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,840
I borrowed the skirt off Cat.
122
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,060
- Yeah, you look great.
- No, I don't, I look rubbish!
123
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,730
How does your sister carry this off?
124
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,890
Maybe it just looks
better on a control freak.
125
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,480
Is he slacking again?
126
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:08,770
No. I'm engaged in the very important task
of helping Tess choose an audition outfit.
127
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,080
I wouldn't take his advice,
128
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,150
I'm the only one with style in our family.
129
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:13,060
Good luck!
130
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,050
- I'm off to work.
- See ya!
131
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,000
This is a disaster.
132
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,000
I've got exactly one hour to find an
133
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:24,260
audition outfit and I don't even know
what a face cream expert looks like.
134
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,100
Hopeless anyway.
135
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:30,670
I'm gonna be surrounded by a bunch of girlie
straight women who actually use face cream.
136
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:33,560
Damn it! Why did I have to find
out about her Facebook picture today
137
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:38,240
on the one day I could get
a job and sort my life out?
138
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:41,340
- Do you think she's
gone on there to pull?
- No.
139
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,330
Everyone's on Facebook. It's what you do.
140
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:45,440
Well, that's why you joined though...
141
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,840
I'm so desperate I think going to
the dentist is a pulling opportunity.
142
00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:51,500
Well, I don't understand.
You're kind and funny,
143
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,060
women should be queuing up.
144
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:56,890
Women of my age don't want
impoverished, would-be novelists.
145
00:10:57,010 --> 00:11:00,610
They want rich, attractive
James Bond types who
146
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:04,350
- wrestle sharks and eat steak raw.
- You are attractive.
147
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:05,940
Really?
148
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,050
You've never said I'm attractive before.
149
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,050
Well, I am a lesbian so
I'm not sure it counts.
150
00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:12,760
Oh this is so annoying.
151
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,110
I've got the perfect dress but I
left it at Chloe's when I moved out.
152
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:17,800
Sod it.
153
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,900
I'm going to go round there and get it.
154
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,250
- Are you sure that's a good idea?
- Yeah, why not? She'll be at work.
155
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,250
Come on. Look...
156
00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:27,460
I'm not letting her ruin this
along with everything else.
157
00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:29,810
I can't go on my own.
158
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,340
Please...
159
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:40,080
Shit.
160
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,260
Come on, we're going to be late!
161
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,010
- Here we go.
- Not that way.
162
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,080
Where are you going?
163
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,180
- This way!
- Tess!
164
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,580
Tess...
165
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,740
Tess...
166
00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:33,800
I had to give my keys back but the
bedroom window's got a faulty catch.
167
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,840
If you jiggle the frame
you can get it open.
168
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,810
- What?!
- Can you help me up?
169
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:40,540
Wait a minute! You didn't say
anything about breaking in.
170
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,110
Well, it's no big deal.
171
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,050
We did it all the time
when we lost our keys.
172
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:47,180
That was when you lived herer.
Now, we're technically burglars.
173
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,450
You can't burgle something
that belongs to you.
174
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,710
- No!
- I thought you said you wanted to be like James Bond.
175
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,500
James Bond would help me up.
176
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,820
I was looking for you earlier.
They said you took the morning off.
177
00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:49,330
Oh, yeah... I was at the, er...
178
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:51,280
doctors.
179
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,370
Phew! Have you checked
out Alistair's new PA?
180
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:56,960
She's got this whole
mysterious thing going on.
181
00:13:56,980 --> 00:14:01,000
That's just what men say when they haven't seen a
woman naked yet. Anyway, you've got a girlfriend.
182
00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:02,210
I'm only looking.
183
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:05,430
I'm relying on my single
friends for vicarious kicks.
184
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:08,380
A little bird tells me you've
got a date with a hot cop.
185
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,470
- I'm going to kill Tess.
- Come on, it's exciting.
186
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,240
I thought the whole cop
thing was getting you going.
187
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:14,990
I know, I know. It's just that I'm not
188
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,910
cut out for this whole blind dating thing.
189
00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:18,270
I have no idea what to expect.
190
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,780
Just got to go with the flow.
191
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,740
Enjoy the spontaneity!
192
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,470
Actually,
193
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:29,800
scrub that, you'll never manage
it. How about I go instead?
194
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,740
She'd be welcome to
take down my particulars.
195
00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:46,250
Are you ok?
196
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,010
Cat?
197
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,980
I've just got to... toilet.
198
00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:00,380
Cat?!
199
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,280
I was only messing about.
200
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:19,410
Can you hurry up?
201
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:20,750
You're pretty heavy you know.
202
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:22,630
- Are you saying I'm fat?
- No, I'm saying you're
203
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:23,720
- dislocating my shoulder.
- Ah, got it!
204
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:32,880
Oops!
205
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,140
- Ready?
- Yeah...
206
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:39,820
Right. This way...
207
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,220
There's another wardrobe
in the living room.
208
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,420
- It's red silk, mid-length.
- Ok.
209
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:03,380
I can't find it.
210
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,210
I don't think it's going to be in there.
211
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:07,930
Are you ok?
212
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,120
Chloe doesn't wear contact lenses.
213
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,730
Well, maybe she does now.
214
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:16,370
And she isn't a D cup either.
215
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,360
Do you think she's seeing someone else?
216
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,830
No. She's probably just
got a friend staying.
217
00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:26,230
I thought you said she was at work?
218
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,770
She should be.
219
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,810
Shit. Hide.
220
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:34,000
Don't be ridiculous, we'll
have to tell her we're here.
221
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,030
- We can't, we broke in.
- You said it wasn't a big deal.
222
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,870
Well, I lied! Of course it's a big deal.
223
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,820
Get under here or I'm
going to have to kill you!
224
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:49,570
- So, did you clear it with your boss?
- No,
225
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:50,950
I'll probably get a tongue lashing.
226
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:53,980
Uh-uh. Me first.
227
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:15,170
Yeah... Mmm ah...
228
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,290
I'm not listening to this.
229
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,630
- I'm going to crawl out.
- It's stupid, she'll see you!
230
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,050
- I'm going to miss my audition.
- Too bad!
231
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,970
Tess!
232
00:17:35,190 --> 00:17:37,180
Oh, my God!
233
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:42,670
What the hell are you doing here?
234
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,250
I think she was under the bed!
235
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:47,690
I came to get my dress back.
236
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,290
Now I see why I couldn't find it.
237
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,170
And you just thought
you'd hide under the bed.
238
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,460
- Have you gone mad?
- Hi.
239
00:17:57,100 --> 00:18:00,380
- How the hell did you even get in here?
- Bedroom window.
240
00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:01,470
I told you to fix the lock.
241
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,660
- Why? To stop you breaking in?
- Would someone tell me what's going on?
242
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:06,640
I'm Tess, Chloe's ex.
Who the hell are you?
243
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:07,280
Shona.
244
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,160
What?
245
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,140
Not...
246
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,860
Not Shona who you got on so
well with at Spanish class?
247
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:19,310
I refuse to get in to this
when you shouldn't even be here.
248
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,310
Were you... were you seeing
her before you finished with me?
249
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,500
No!
250
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:25,440
Maybe it'd be better to tell the truth.
251
00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:26,660
Just keep out of this, will you?
252
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,480
Oh, I'd get used to being
bossed around if I were you.
253
00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:30,330
There's plenty more where that came from.
254
00:18:30,450 --> 00:18:31,650
- Tess, I think we should go.
255
00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:33,670
- Yes, go!
- I'm not going anywhere
256
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,120
till I get my dress back.
257
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,270
- I'll send it to you.
- I need it now.
258
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,150
- Are you sure you're ok?
- Yeah. Fine.
259
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:21,710
- Are you skiving off early?
- No, it's our last chance to
260
00:19:21,730 --> 00:19:24,690
see the other designs for
the university library bid.
261
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,530
It closes today, do you want to come?
262
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,200
No, no. I've got a lot on.
263
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,670
What?!
264
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,210
I have!
265
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,340
I've got to check who's
following me on Twitter.
266
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:35,440
Not to mention updating my status.
267
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:38,870
Just say, "Jay Adams is a teenager
trapped in the body of a man."
268
00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:41,510
There's plenty of time to
be a grown up when I'm old.
269
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,330
I hate to break it to you, but we are old.
270
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:46,160
If Alistair finds out you
didn't go he won't be happy.
271
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,130
It's fine, I've got it covered.
272
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:50,850
You can tell me all about
it and I'll pretend I did.
273
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:52,610
I'll see you tomorrow.
274
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:57,330
Cat, I expect all the
details on your date, right?
275
00:19:57,340 --> 00:20:00,460
Not just the boring bits.
276
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,170
Hey.
277
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,840
What are you doing here?
278
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:35,100
Good to see you too.
279
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,020
"How are you, Frankie?
I'm fine thanks. You?"
280
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:44,130
I'm working.
281
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,850
Now's not a good time. I
have to go to a... thing.
282
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:49,130
Well, mind if I walk with you?
283
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:52,010
I'll take that as a no.
284
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,930
- Going on a site visit?
- No.
285
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:57,170
Something interesting?
286
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:59,650
No, it's deathly dull, actually.
287
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,250
The council are displaying the
designs for our library bid.
288
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,690
Jay wheedled his way out of it.
289
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:06,890
I don't blame him. That is fucking dull.
290
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,300
Unless you've got fit waitresses handing
out canapés, that helps pass the time.
291
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,840
- Look, I'm sorry.
- What do you want, Frankie?
292
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,590
To talk to you.
293
00:21:19,710 --> 00:21:22,250
And you didn't think to
call first, ask if it was ok?
294
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:25,410
I thought you might say no.
295
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:29,010
So you went ahead and
just turned up anyway?
296
00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:32,480
Like I said, I can't talk
now, I have to be somewhere.
297
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:33,900
Sorry.
298
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:57,690
Hi. Hello. Tess Roberts, I'm here
to audition for Refresh face cream.
299
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,370
Right. Ok.
300
00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:03,410
Um, if someone calls me can you
just tell them that I'm in the loo?
301
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:04,740
Yeah, that's fine, ok.
302
00:22:13,180 --> 00:22:14,700
Shit...
303
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:24,580
Oh, no... oh, my God...
304
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:34,460
- Tess Roberts?
- Shit.
305
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:39,040
Tess Roberts due in audition now.
306
00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:47,260
- Can I just leave my bag here?
- Yes.
307
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,850
MAN: We're just casting
now. A bit tedious.
308
00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:01,540
Well, I'll see you after lunch.
309
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,370
- Ok, Tess Roberts?
- Yeah.
310
00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,090
- You've learnt your lines?
- Yes.
311
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,540
If you'd like to take
a seat next to Sally.
312
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:18,330
- Hi.
- Hi. When you're ready, ladies,
313
00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:20,230
take it from the top.
314
00:23:22,940 --> 00:23:27,050
I just have such dry skin. Whatever I do
it doesn't seem to make any difference.
315
00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:29,860
Have you tried Refresh face cream?
316
00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:31,770
Refresh has been scientifically proven...
317
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:33,830
Sorry, er, Trish?
318
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:37,390
- It's...
- Could you make sure you
really punch up "refresh"
319
00:23:37,420 --> 00:23:40,610
so you sound refreshed
when you say it? Ok?
320
00:23:41,550 --> 00:23:43,370
Sally...
321
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:45,830
I just have such dry skin.
322
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:48,020
Whatever I do it doesn't
seem to make any difference.
323
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,890
Have you tried Refresh face cream?
324
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,560
Refresh has been scientifically
proven to retain moisture and
325
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:57,280
alleviate parched, dry skin.
326
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:59,190
Sorry, Trish, it's great...
327
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,310
great on "refresh",
but could you sound more
328
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:06,400
- aggrieved at the prospect of really parched, dry skin.
- Yeah.
329
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,880
Um, Refresh has been
330
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,540
scientifically proven to retain moisture
331
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,840
- and alleviate
332
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:18,340
- parched, dry skin.
- Bit more aggrieved than that.
333
00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:21,260
Refresh has been scientifically proven
334
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,450
to retain moisture and
335
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,430
alleviate parched, dry skin.
336
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:30,030
Sorry, Trish, you're sounding
slightly more upset...
337
00:24:30,050 --> 00:24:32,890
It's Tess, all right. My name's Tess!
338
00:24:33,130 --> 00:24:34,810
You...
339
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:37,420
Sorry, um...
340
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:47,900
I'm sorry... I'm really sorry, I've, er...
341
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:58,170
Oh, it is... it is Tess. Tess.
342
00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:17,550
Sorry, it's invite only,
343
00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,370
you can't go in till I've
ticked your name off the list.
344
00:25:20,580 --> 00:25:23,190
Jay Adams. Alistair Brice Associates.
345
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,850
Jay Brian Adams?
346
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,020
Yeah. Look, I get this all the time.
347
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:32,740
I was named after my grandfather.
He died the day I was born.
348
00:25:34,260 --> 00:25:38,460
Look, if you want to call my boss,
Alistair Brice, and check, feel free.
349
00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:44,320
Sorry. Can you... can
you excuse me a minute?
350
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,680
Don't you know that it's
illegal to stalk people?
351
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,010
I told you, I can't talk to you now.
352
00:25:50,020 --> 00:25:52,660
I thought you might want
this. Still losing things?
353
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,530
See you.
354
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,380
Frankie!
355
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:04,900
Thanks. I... I didn't
even know I'd lost it.
356
00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:09,100
How did you even get in here?
357
00:26:09,220 --> 00:26:10,650
I thought it was invite only.
358
00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:12,420
I said I was Jay.
359
00:26:12,850 --> 00:26:13,990
Although it was a bit tricky.
360
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,900
Did you know his middle name is Brian?
361
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,060
Brian Adams?
362
00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:20,890
Shit, he's kept that under wraps.
363
00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:22,970
That bloke keeps staring at you.
364
00:26:23,030 --> 00:26:27,030
Oh, Jesus he's a total pain.
He keeps cornering me at events.
365
00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:31,610
Well, you can't really blame him,
you are looking incredibly hot.
366
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,490
Oh, is that why you left
me, cos I looked so hot?
367
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,350
Thanks for the wallet, I need to get back.
368
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,110
Don't go, let's...
369
00:26:38,510 --> 00:26:41,130
- let's get out of here, yeah?
- I'm working.
370
00:26:41,530 --> 00:26:44,590
Checking out library designs with
a bunch of council pen-pushers?
371
00:26:44,610 --> 00:26:47,370
What makes you think I'd
prefer spending time with you?
372
00:26:47,380 --> 00:26:49,480
We haven't seen each other
in two years, so I thought...
373
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:52,370
That you'd just waltz back in here
and everything would be ok now?
374
00:26:52,370 --> 00:26:54,060
Jesus, I just wanted a conversation,
375
00:26:54,330 --> 00:26:56,600
- but you're so uptight.
- I'm not uptight!
376
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,930
What are you doing in Glasgow anyway?
377
00:27:01,230 --> 00:27:03,810
Actually, I don't want to know.
378
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,940
I don't care what you do any more,
Frankie, as long as you leave me alone.
379
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,770
You're sure she didn't
tell you she was coming?
380
00:27:31,780 --> 00:27:33,370
Cat, I'm as surprised as you are.
381
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,100
But you know what Frankie is like.
382
00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:36,940
She's hardly one for
planning in advance, is she?
383
00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:40,220
- Or giving a shit about other people.
- Yeah, that too.
384
00:27:40,340 --> 00:27:41,740
Shit!
385
00:27:44,380 --> 00:27:47,210
Well, if she thinks we can be
pals again, she can forget it.
386
00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:50,370
Well, she must realise that's unlikely.
387
00:27:50,380 --> 00:27:52,250
So, the cop...
388
00:27:52,730 --> 00:27:54,890
do you think I should mention
dinner once we've had a drink?
389
00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:56,460
You could just play it by ear.
390
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,450
Maybe I should have suggested a gay bar.
391
00:27:58,450 --> 00:28:00,440
But you know what it's like,
if we go somewhere sceney,
392
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,750
we'll bump into ten people we know.
393
00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:07,090
What if she wants to make a pass at me? She
certainly not gonna do that in some straight pub.
394
00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:10,750
Shit, I didn't even think of that. I've totally
fucked things up and I'm not even there yet.
395
00:28:10,750 --> 00:28:13,340
Well, you could rearrange
for another night.
396
00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:14,850
You're the one who said
I should go tonight!
397
00:28:14,850 --> 00:28:17,440
yeah, that was before
Frankie got you wound up.
398
00:28:17,500 --> 00:28:18,620
I'm not wound up.
399
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:21,180
I'm not! I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.
400
00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:23,580
I think it's good I saw her
and remembered what she's like.
401
00:28:23,580 --> 00:28:26,890
We're too old to be dating fuck-ups.
402
00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:28,690
Shit. I'm going to be late.
403
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:31,610
You don't think the heels and
the dress are too much, do you?
404
00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:34,080
If she was after some diesel
dyke with a tattoo on her
405
00:28:34,090 --> 00:28:36,170
she would have hardly gone for you!
406
00:28:36,630 --> 00:28:39,790
Look, stop fussing and go!
407
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,760
And try and have fun. Ok?
408
00:28:43,340 --> 00:28:44,060
Ok...
409
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:06,880
Hi, can I have a large glass
of dry white wine, please?
410
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,660
Anyway, Frankie, what the
hell are you doing here?
411
00:29:47,670 --> 00:29:50,570
And more to the point, why didn't
you tell us you were coming?
412
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:54,530
It was a last-minute thing, I
just needed to get away for a bit.
413
00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:56,980
Well, it's bloody great to see you.
414
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,010
I say we drink to Frankie's return.
415
00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:02,820
Yeah! And here is to Chloe
being out of Tess's life.
416
00:30:02,830 --> 00:30:05,910
- I always thought she was
a total pain in the arse.
- I'll second that.
417
00:30:06,590 --> 00:30:09,010
Sorry, but she was a bit of a nightmare.
418
00:30:09,020 --> 00:30:12,960
Uh-uh. Never bitch about the ex,
in case there's a lesurrection!
419
00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:14,290
No chance. You're right.
420
00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:18,380
I spent five years being walked
all over by that selfish bitch.
421
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:20,810
As of today I am moving on.
422
00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,110
Tess Roberts is going out
there and getting laid.
423
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,410
Been dusting off your
amazing chat-up lines?
424
00:30:27,460 --> 00:30:29,010
I can't people up.
425
00:30:29,020 --> 00:30:32,260
I just... I do what most lesbians do,
426
00:30:32,380 --> 00:30:34,390
stare at women hungrily and
427
00:30:34,510 --> 00:30:36,340
pray somebody else will
make the first move.
428
00:30:36,370 --> 00:30:39,210
Well, look aloof and uninterested
and they probably will.
429
00:30:39,220 --> 00:30:40,850
What, like play hard to get?
430
00:30:40,970 --> 00:30:42,520
- Yes.
- Ok, I'll give it a whirl.
431
00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:46,560
- I don't what you worry about,
loads of people will want to shag you.
- Like who?
432
00:30:48,630 --> 00:30:53,100
I'm sure there's somebody in this bar right
now that's dying to get their hands on you.
433
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:58,260
Mmm, I think that hottie might
be dying to get her hands on me.
434
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,850
- Jay!
- What? She keeps staring at me.
435
00:31:02,850 --> 00:31:06,850
It's a gay bar, Jay, she's probably
wondering why you're staring at her.
436
00:31:07,350 --> 00:31:09,390
And behave or I'm sending you home.
437
00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:12,420
Oi! Lesbians are such killjoys.
438
00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:15,570
You'll be making me burn my
bra and sing folk songs next.
439
00:31:15,580 --> 00:31:18,770
Hi, I'm Becky, this
Neanderthal's better half.
440
00:31:18,830 --> 00:31:19,850
You must be Frankie.
441
00:31:19,970 --> 00:31:22,060
- Great to meet you finally.
- Likewise.
442
00:31:22,180 --> 00:31:23,830
What you all drinking?
443
00:31:23,950 --> 00:31:25,490
- Oh...
- I wouldn't mind another beer.
444
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,370
It's Cat.
445
00:31:31,310 --> 00:31:32,750
Cat, hi.
446
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:36,910
She's not here yet.
447
00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:38,870
Do you think she's stood me up?
448
00:31:39,060 --> 00:31:41,850
Why did you let me come?
I'm too wound up for this.
449
00:31:42,510 --> 00:31:46,330
I know I said that, but
clearly I was talking rubbish.
450
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:50,490
Ok, remember, call me in half an hour and if
she's a moose I'll make my excuses and leave.
451
00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:52,370
Hi...
452
00:31:52,380 --> 00:31:54,770
You're Cat?
453
00:31:56,170 --> 00:31:59,010
Yes. Hang on, Tess.
454
00:31:59,020 --> 00:32:00,760
I'm sorry I'm late. So,
455
00:32:00,790 --> 00:32:01,710
can I get you another?
456
00:32:01,910 --> 00:32:05,250
- Yes.
- Unless you want to make
your excuses and leave?
457
00:32:05,260 --> 00:32:09,190
Yes. I mean, yes, to another drink.
458
00:32:09,220 --> 00:32:10,340
Not that I want to leave.
459
00:32:10,580 --> 00:32:12,230
Can I have a white wine, thanks?
460
00:32:12,550 --> 00:32:14,700
Yes, one white wine coming up.
461
00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:23,680
Shit, she's gorgeous and I've
just made a complete tit of myself.
462
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,810
Ok.
463
00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:29,770
I'm calming down. I'm completely calm.
464
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:38,180
There you go.
465
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:39,810
So what does she say?How's it going?
466
00:32:39,810 --> 00:32:42,370
Oh, I don't know. She just
arrived when I was talking to her.
467
00:32:43,110 --> 00:32:45,090
Cat's on a blind date with a cop.
468
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:47,180
Wouldn't have thought
a cop was Cat's thing.
469
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:51,500
Well, she is a gay cop... she's hardly
going to be some baton-wielding thug.
470
00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,890
Oh, what, cos you're gay that
means you're right on, does it?
471
00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:56,900
I'm going for a fag.
472
00:33:03,780 --> 00:33:06,560
- Charming.
- Well, you were pretty tactless.
473
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,410
What? Oh, come on!
474
00:33:08,660 --> 00:33:11,260
They broke up two years ago,
and she dumped Cat, remember?
475
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:13,210
It is not a crime to finish with someone.
476
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:14,710
They were best friends.
477
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,740
She persuaded Cat to leave
her girlfriend for her
478
00:33:16,750 --> 00:33:17,990
and then got cold feet and run.
479
00:33:18,010 --> 00:33:19,280
That's a crime in my book.
480
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,330
Well, if she messes Cat around
again, she'll have me to deal with.
481
00:33:22,340 --> 00:33:24,460
I hate to break it to you
mate, but in a fist fight
482
00:33:24,580 --> 00:33:25,910
I think Frankie'd win!
483
00:33:26,430 --> 00:33:28,520
- What?
- How was Cat when she saw her?
484
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,880
I don't know if going on a
date was such a good idea.
485
00:33:30,910 --> 00:33:34,050
God, she's probably
interviewing her as we speak.
486
00:33:34,060 --> 00:33:36,380
She did go armed with a
list of questions to ask.
487
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,260
So, how do you like being in the police?
488
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,770
- So how do you like being in the police?
- Yeah, I love it.
489
00:33:44,780 --> 00:33:48,290
It's really interesting
work. My dad's a policeman,
490
00:33:48,410 --> 00:33:49,250
we're really close.
491
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,190
I had my purse stolen once
and the policeman was great.
492
00:33:52,210 --> 00:33:54,040
very caring. Not what you'd expect at all.
493
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,930
What was it you expected?
494
00:33:55,940 --> 00:33:58,620
Well, you know, some people think
the police are power-hungry homophobes
495
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:00,560
who get their kicks beating up suspects.
496
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,840
Obviously I don't think that, and
497
00:34:04,050 --> 00:34:06,140
clearly you're not like that.
498
00:34:07,220 --> 00:34:08,820
Well, I, um...
499
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:11,900
I try to only beat up
suspects twice a week tops.
500
00:34:11,940 --> 00:34:14,690
And then I always use a bag of oranges
501
00:34:14,810 --> 00:34:16,480
so it doesn't leave any marks.
502
00:34:19,220 --> 00:34:21,850
- I'm joking.
- Right.
503
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:26,490
Actually, when I had my purse stolen
it was me that wanted to punch the guy.
504
00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:28,310
Not that I'm usually violent. Well,
505
00:34:28,350 --> 00:34:31,190
I wanted to kill my ex-girlfriend
today, but that was different.
506
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:34,160
Um, we broke up ages ago,
I'm not still hung up on her.
507
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,690
She just turned up unexpectedly.
508
00:34:37,070 --> 00:34:38,300
Today.
509
00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:45,940
Sorry, it's work...
510
00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,780
DS Murray.
511
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:51,320
Right, I see, hmm...
512
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,800
no, that's fine, I'll be
with you as soon as I can.
513
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:57,730
Ok, bye.
514
00:34:59,620 --> 00:35:03,810
I'm very sorry, but there's been a big breakthrough
on the case, and I have to go in straight away.
515
00:35:03,930 --> 00:35:05,050
Ok.
516
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,070
Well, maybe we could
do this again some time?
517
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,020
Yeah.
518
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:11,750
I gotta dash, I'll catch you later.
519
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:12,900
Ok.
520
00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:28,050
How come Becky had to leave?
521
00:35:28,310 --> 00:35:31,290
She's got a shift at six thirty.
522
00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:35,160
I'm sorry if she was a bit
tactless earlier on, you know,
523
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,250
- about Cat.
- She wasn't,
524
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:40,940
it isn't like I expected
her to stay single.
525
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,690
So is it serious with you and Becky?
526
00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:45,810
Yeah, it is, yeah.
527
00:35:45,820 --> 00:35:47,450
It's been two years.
528
00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:49,970
We're looking for a
flat together, you know.
529
00:35:49,980 --> 00:35:50,800
Who'd have thought
530
00:35:51,030 --> 00:35:53,790
someone would finally tame the sex beast
531
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,160
that is Jay Adams.
532
00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:58,550
Jay Brian Adams?
533
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:01,280
When I find out who told
you that, they're dead.
534
00:36:02,820 --> 00:36:05,650
So, what about you? Have you...
535
00:36:05,660 --> 00:36:08,340
got a "special friend"
in New York, or... ?
536
00:36:08,370 --> 00:36:10,980
I've never been very good
at the special friend thing.
537
00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,750
- But you're still Betty
Both-ways? - What's it to you?
538
00:36:13,870 --> 00:36:15,930
I'm just making friendly conversation.
539
00:36:15,940 --> 00:36:18,430
Men come in handy occasionally
540
00:36:18,660 --> 00:36:20,290
when there isn't a woman around.
541
00:36:20,540 --> 00:36:22,480
Does Becky know you're
a total snatch hound?
542
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,350
I am not... any more.
543
00:36:25,730 --> 00:36:27,610
I'm... I'm not!
544
00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:30,690
Look, I haven't slept
with anyone else in...
545
00:36:31,060 --> 00:36:33,580
a year. Right? She caught me
546
00:36:33,630 --> 00:36:36,560
once, said that if it
happened again it was over. So,
547
00:36:36,610 --> 00:36:37,450
I haven't.
548
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,650
Christ, you'll be playing golf
and buying a barbecue next.
549
00:36:41,770 --> 00:36:42,900
Fuck off!
550
00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:46,090
No. Honestly, I think it's admirable.
551
00:36:46,100 --> 00:36:49,250
Sleeping with the same
person again and again,
552
00:36:49,260 --> 00:36:53,380
never getting to see anyone
else naked, except by accident.
553
00:37:03,980 --> 00:37:06,940
- Here you go.
- Ah, thank you.
554
00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:11,450
Right. Last person to down
theirs gives Ed a blow job.
555
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:20,320
Ok. Who have I got? Right, who was it?
556
00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:22,990
- It was me or...
- Jay!
557
00:37:23,110 --> 00:37:24,180
No way!
558
00:37:54,380 --> 00:37:58,130
Who says dreams don't come true?
Yesterday I find out my ex is
559
00:37:58,140 --> 00:37:59,830
cheating on me, today...
560
00:38:00,390 --> 00:38:02,520
I'm dressed as a fizzy drink.
561
00:38:02,570 --> 00:38:04,210
At least tights are designed for women.
562
00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:06,480
After today, I might never have children.
563
00:38:06,510 --> 00:38:08,020
- Why would you want them? Hi!
- Hello.
564
00:38:08,020 --> 00:38:10,130
At this rate I won't get the chance.
565
00:38:10,140 --> 00:38:13,060
My grandparents have a
better sex life than I do.
566
00:38:13,180 --> 00:38:14,620
Don't be silly, they don't have sex.
567
00:38:14,620 --> 00:38:17,170
They do. My granny told me.
Twice a week, apparently.
568
00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:18,410
- Really?
- Yeah.
569
00:38:18,420 --> 00:38:20,530
I can't decide if I think it's sweet
570
00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:23,190
or I need to lobotomize the
bit of my brain that heard that.
571
00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:27,530
- Have you checked out Lou Foster yet?
- Who?
572
00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:28,970
The uber-babe over there.
573
00:38:29,410 --> 00:38:31,810
Presents Afternoons With Lou And Tom.
574
00:38:32,180 --> 00:38:34,490
I don't watch it.
575
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:37,180
I just thought she might be your type.
576
00:38:37,380 --> 00:38:40,150
Well, she's everyone's type,
but she's clearly straight,
577
00:38:40,170 --> 00:38:41,390
and even if she wasn't,
578
00:38:41,510 --> 00:38:45,030
I have the repelling stench of
dumped and desperate about me.
579
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:46,680
Don't be silly, you're gorge...
580
00:38:46,940 --> 00:38:49,170
I mean you're a real catch.
581
00:38:49,220 --> 00:38:51,450
Thanks. You don't have to say that.
582
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:53,030
I need a wee.
583
00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:58,120
Try not to eat too many sweets while I'm
gone, you don't want to add to your muffin top.
584
00:39:04,060 --> 00:39:06,060
Do you want a drink? No...
585
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,140
Thanks to Frankie my date was a disaster.
586
00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:28,930
You could've bloody
warned me she was here!
587
00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:31,230
Maybe you should cut her some slack.
588
00:39:31,420 --> 00:39:33,290
And why the hell should I do that?
589
00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:34,930
I'm not supposed to tell you,
590
00:39:35,050 --> 00:39:36,640
but her aunt died, all right?
591
00:39:36,670 --> 00:39:38,090
That's why she's over.
592
00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:40,820
- Oh, God...
- It's all right, it's ok.
593
00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:43,070
As it happens she doesn't seem
594
00:39:43,390 --> 00:39:44,490
that bothered.
595
00:39:44,740 --> 00:39:46,480
But don't tell me she got
blind drunk last night?
596
00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:48,060
We had a few, yeah.
597
00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:53,530
What? What have I done now?
598
00:39:53,530 --> 00:39:55,080
What do you think Frankie's going to do?
599
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:55,790
Cry on your shoulder?
600
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,650
Of course, she's bothered. Her
aunt was the only mother she had!
601
00:39:58,650 --> 00:40:00,400
Well, how was I supposed to know?
602
00:40:01,180 --> 00:40:03,530
What do you care, I thought you hated her.
603
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:09,420
Where is she?
604
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:21,060
SOBBING
605
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,670
Are you ok?
606
00:40:44,910 --> 00:40:48,060
Oh! God, this is so embarrassing.
I didn't know anyone was in here.
607
00:40:48,060 --> 00:40:51,090
It isn't, honestly. I cry in
inappropriate places all the time.
608
00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:53,750
I burst into tears in
an audition yesterday.
609
00:40:54,380 --> 00:40:55,780
- Really?
- Yeah!
610
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,040
At least I don't have to wait by
the phone to see if I got the job.
611
00:41:00,630 --> 00:41:03,190
- Hum...
- I'm sorry,
612
00:41:03,310 --> 00:41:05,510
I'm not usually like this.
613
00:41:08,260 --> 00:41:10,030
My boyfriend dumped me.
614
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:15,260
The bastard decided to stay with the wife
that he was "definitely separating from".
615
00:41:17,330 --> 00:41:20,970
- Men are such pigs.
- Believe me, women aren't much better.
616
00:41:20,980 --> 00:41:25,050
My ex was two-timing me with
the woman she left me for, so...
617
00:41:26,350 --> 00:41:27,460
Oh, I should get back.
618
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,100
But listen, me and my friend
Ed are by the drinks stand.
619
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,690
If you need cheering up
620
00:41:31,810 --> 00:41:34,430
or you get bored, come and hang out.
621
00:41:34,940 --> 00:41:37,650
Thanks. Um...
622
00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:39,450
Tess.
623
00:41:39,460 --> 00:41:43,620
- You won't tell anyone I was...
- No, I won't say a word. See you later.
624
00:41:58,100 --> 00:41:59,680
I'm here to see Mrs Alan.
625
00:41:59,940 --> 00:42:03,460
If you just go down this corridor,
it's the fourth door to your right.
626
00:42:03,580 --> 00:42:05,150
If you could just sign in.
627
00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:12,890
I like your tattoo.
628
00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:14,190
What does it mean?
629
00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:17,900
It's the Japanese symbol for lust.
630
00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:22,630
Well, if there's anything
else I can help you with,
631
00:42:22,930 --> 00:42:23,960
just let me know.
632
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,420
I'll bear that in mind.
633
00:42:48,780 --> 00:42:50,300
Taxi!
634
00:42:55,460 --> 00:42:57,410
Why would anyone dump her?
635
00:42:57,450 --> 00:43:00,480
Well, I find it comforting to
know that you can be that gorgeous
636
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,250
- and still get shat on.
- Yeah.
637
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,310
Anyway, play your cards
well, you could be in there.
638
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:05,960
'Cause I always get that lucky.
639
00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:07,460
Hi!
640
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:10,520
I just thought I'd take
you up on your offer.
641
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,750
I need some respite from screaming kids.
642
00:43:12,780 --> 00:43:14,390
Great, the more the merrier.
643
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,710
Lou, this is my friend Ed.
644
00:43:15,830 --> 00:43:18,070
- Hi.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. How are you doing?
645
00:43:18,070 --> 00:43:20,210
- Come round the back with us if you want.
- Thanks.
646
00:43:20,220 --> 00:43:24,050
We could even arrange for one of these
fabulously unflattering outfits for you.
647
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:26,670
It's not so bad, shows
off your great legs.
648
00:43:26,710 --> 00:43:29,450
Oh, thanks. I grew them myself.
649
00:43:29,460 --> 00:43:31,270
You're really funny.
650
00:43:31,940 --> 00:43:33,750
Ed really likes your show.
651
00:43:33,870 --> 00:43:34,810
Yeah.
652
00:43:35,350 --> 00:43:37,060
I loved the interview
you did with Derren Brown.
653
00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:38,260
Oh, thanks.
654
00:43:38,380 --> 00:43:41,130
- So, you're an actress, then?
- Er, yeah.
655
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:44,810
Believe it or not, dressing up as a
fizzy drink isn't my real vocation.
656
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,620
Oh, no, I can imagine you on stage.
657
00:43:46,650 --> 00:43:50,150
You have that sort of... I
don't know, presence about you.
658
00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:53,860
Sadly I only ever imagine
myself on stage too.
659
00:43:53,980 --> 00:43:55,420
Lou? Can I have you over here a minute?
660
00:43:55,460 --> 00:43:57,110
Oh, shit, they've spotted me. I better go.
661
00:43:57,130 --> 00:44:00,210
- But I'll... I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
662
00:44:01,370 --> 00:44:03,440
Nice to have met you. Bye.
663
00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:09,290
God, Frankie's advice obviously worked.
664
00:44:09,300 --> 00:44:11,400
What are you talking
about? I didn't do anything.
665
00:44:11,410 --> 00:44:14,090
- Exactly and you were in there.
- Ed!
666
00:44:14,100 --> 00:44:16,840
Tess. You never notice
when people like you.
667
00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:19,690
No lesbian would ever wear that cardigan.
668
00:44:20,790 --> 00:44:22,480
And what people?
669
00:44:23,260 --> 00:44:24,890
Just people, generally.
670
00:44:24,900 --> 00:44:26,780
And her.
671
00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:30,650
You're an idiot!
672
00:44:54,460 --> 00:44:55,930
I didn't expect to see you here.
673
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,950
Well, I was in the area
and I saw the funeral home
674
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:02,170
and I thought I wonder
if anyone I know has died.
675
00:45:02,290 --> 00:45:03,730
I called her.
676
00:45:03,740 --> 00:45:06,300
She's my cousin, she had a right to know.
677
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,090
Well, then it's a shame
you didn't turn up sooner,
678
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:12,670
spend some time with
your aunt before she died.
679
00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:14,560
No-one told me she was dying.
680
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:15,860
You can hardly blame us.
681
00:45:16,250 --> 00:45:17,370
We didn't know where you were.
682
00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:19,590
And you made it quite clear you
didn't want to know us any more.
683
00:45:19,590 --> 00:45:21,000
And you wanted to know me, did you?
684
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,360
Contrary to what you
seem to think, Frankie,
685
00:45:23,410 --> 00:45:25,390
your aunt and I only ever
wanted the best for you.
686
00:45:25,420 --> 00:45:27,090
Anyway, I haven't come here to argue.
687
00:45:27,670 --> 00:45:30,070
If that's what you want
then I suggest you leave.
688
00:45:38,730 --> 00:45:41,020
Aunt Carol wanted to tell
me something before she died,
689
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,590
do you know what it was?
690
00:45:43,190 --> 00:45:44,190
You spoke to her?
691
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,190
No, she left a message, but
she said it was important.
692
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:51,850
Your aunt was in a lot
of pain toward the end.
693
00:45:52,230 --> 00:45:54,390
- She often wasn't lucid.
- She sounded...
694
00:45:54,420 --> 00:45:57,460
If she had anything to say
to you, she'd have told me.
695
00:46:56,180 --> 00:46:58,600
Hi. I wonder if you can help me.
696
00:46:58,620 --> 00:47:01,980
I'm looking for a blonde
woman, twenties, tattoo?
697
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,940
She's still here. Can you sign in, please.
698
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:08,050
Don't you know it's
illegal to stalk people?
699
00:47:09,470 --> 00:47:11,370
Jay told me about your aunt.
700
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:12,900
What do you care?
701
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:14,020
Ok.
702
00:47:14,470 --> 00:47:16,130
You can be nice or I can leave.
703
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:17,060
Your choice.
704
00:47:20,180 --> 00:47:21,700
Come on.
705
00:47:34,770 --> 00:47:36,950
I'm thinking curry and
a large vat of wine.
706
00:47:36,970 --> 00:47:38,490
I'm liking your thinking.
707
00:47:39,220 --> 00:47:40,970
Hey, er, Tess!
708
00:47:41,180 --> 00:47:42,010
Hang on!
709
00:47:42,130 --> 00:47:44,380
Sorry, I was just wondering
if you fancied a drink?
710
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:45,910
Ok! Um, well,
711
00:47:45,940 --> 00:47:48,730
- Ed and I were just going to
get one if you want to join?
- Oh, oh...
712
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:49,600
Actually,
713
00:47:49,650 --> 00:47:51,700
I've just remembered I have to give...
714
00:47:51,990 --> 00:47:52,940
Cat that thing back.
715
00:47:52,940 --> 00:47:53,730
What thing?
716
00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:56,490
Oh, that thing...
717
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,920
- ok, well, if you're sure?
- Yeah.
718
00:47:59,150 --> 00:48:01,380
- You two have fun though.
- Bye.
719
00:48:02,370 --> 00:48:04,450
So? Where do you want to go?
720
00:48:04,570 --> 00:48:07,620
Um... ah, there's...
721
00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:10,700
Ok, I know a bar...
722
00:48:14,020 --> 00:48:15,930
I'm sorry, Frankie.
723
00:48:15,940 --> 00:48:18,830
I know you used to be close.
724
00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:21,180
I always liked her.
725
00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:26,050
Well, she was the only
bearable member of the clan.
726
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,580
She liked you, too.
727
00:48:34,390 --> 00:48:37,360
Actually, I was wondering if you
wanted to come to the funeral.
728
00:48:41,740 --> 00:48:44,460
- If you don't want to, it's...
- No, it's ok,
729
00:48:45,980 --> 00:48:47,500
I'd like to come.
730
00:48:51,980 --> 00:48:55,170
I can't believe we're burying her and
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
731
00:48:56,230 --> 00:48:58,780
And you have no idea what
she wanted to tell you?
732
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:02,620
I asked my uncle and
he said he didn't know.
733
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:08,450
She was too terrified to breathe
in case it pissed him off.
734
00:49:08,650 --> 00:49:10,890
Whatever it was, she was
too scared to tell him.
735
00:49:11,130 --> 00:49:13,450
Imagine feeling like that.
736
00:49:13,460 --> 00:49:15,100
Yeah, I know.
737
00:49:16,820 --> 00:49:20,570
He was nicer to the
dog than he was to her.
738
00:49:22,340 --> 00:49:24,140
Do you remember that
time we got the munchies
739
00:49:24,150 --> 00:49:26,220
and they ate all his
posh birthday biscuits.
740
00:49:27,870 --> 00:49:30,430
I said the dog had eaten them.
741
00:49:32,260 --> 00:49:34,620
Wasn't that the first time we got stoned?
742
00:49:35,470 --> 00:49:39,120
Ed kept hanging around and we had to
get rid of him in case he told on us.
743
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,050
How old were you?
744
00:49:41,060 --> 00:49:43,090
Fourteen.
745
00:49:43,490 --> 00:49:45,580
I thought you were so cool
cos you were older than me.
746
00:49:46,450 --> 00:49:50,010
I thought you were wild and
dangerous cos you had drugs.
747
00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:52,050
You were such a chicken,
748
00:49:52,070 --> 00:49:55,320
you kept thinking the neighbours
would smell it and call the police.
749
00:49:55,370 --> 00:49:56,310
I did not!
750
00:49:56,330 --> 00:49:57,630
Yeah, you did! You kept saying,
751
00:49:57,750 --> 00:49:59,460
do you think we'll do time for this?
752
00:50:00,010 --> 00:50:02,760
And then you went to the kitchen and
came up holding that box of biscuits
753
00:50:02,810 --> 00:50:04,940
with a stupid grin on your face.
754
00:50:05,060 --> 00:50:08,180
I had to rip up the packet
and stick it in the dog basket!
755
00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:14,160
Oh, God, it's good to see you.
756
00:50:15,020 --> 00:50:19,860
- I really missed you.
- I missed you too.
757
00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:28,210
You never even told me
you were going, Frankie.
758
00:50:28,220 --> 00:50:29,810
I called you.
759
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:32,770
Three weeks later from New York.
760
00:50:32,780 --> 00:50:35,180
Do you have any idea...
761
00:50:37,780 --> 00:50:39,690
I should go.
762
00:50:39,700 --> 00:50:41,890
Oh, no, come on. Don't go.
763
00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:44,020
No, I have to get back. I've got plans.
764
00:50:47,020 --> 00:50:49,380
- Maybe another time?
- Yeah, maybe.
765
00:51:03,580 --> 00:51:06,490
Oh, wait a minute, I know
where I've seen you before.
766
00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:08,290
Casualty. A few weeks ago.
767
00:51:08,300 --> 00:51:12,060
The single mother... you fell in
love with your son's sick PE teacher.
768
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,340
- That really wasn't my finest hour.
- Oh, no I thought you were great.
769
00:51:14,370 --> 00:51:18,930
Especially that day when the doctor wanted to turn
off the life support and you were pleading not to.
770
00:51:18,940 --> 00:51:20,880
I thought you were really moving.
771
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,790
I bet you get your big break soon.
772
00:51:22,910 --> 00:51:24,100
I don't know about that.
773
00:51:24,740 --> 00:51:27,650
I'm really sorry, I have to confess I...
774
00:51:27,940 --> 00:51:31,480
- I haven't seen Afternoons
With Lou And Tom.
- That's fine.
775
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,130
It's not really what I want to do.
776
00:51:33,140 --> 00:51:36,100
I'd like to get into
something a bit more serious.
777
00:51:39,090 --> 00:51:41,620
Do you want... do you want another drink?
778
00:51:41,740 --> 00:51:44,140
Yeah or, um... we...
779
00:51:46,450 --> 00:51:49,330
we could always go back to mine...
780
00:51:49,340 --> 00:51:52,090
cos I live near here, so...
781
00:51:52,450 --> 00:51:54,720
if you wanted to do that?
782
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:55,930
Yeah, ok...
783
00:51:56,390 --> 00:52:00,020
- If you're sure?
- Absolutely.
784
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,380
I've thought of something
you can help me with.
785
00:52:43,700 --> 00:52:45,290
You don't have a cigarette, do you?
786
00:52:45,300 --> 00:52:48,500
- Sorry, I gave up.
- Yeah. Me too.
787
00:52:57,700 --> 00:52:59,220
Oh!
788
00:53:01,740 --> 00:53:04,860
- You ok, hen?
- I can't find my purse.
789
00:53:14,950 --> 00:53:17,770
I can't talk to you right
now, I've got someone here.
790
00:53:17,780 --> 00:53:20,370
That's none of your business.
791
00:53:20,380 --> 00:53:22,530
Look, like I said, I've got to go.
792
00:53:22,540 --> 00:53:23,980
I have to entertain my guest.
793
00:53:24,170 --> 00:53:25,900
Whatever.
794
00:53:30,140 --> 00:53:31,930
Are you sticking with white?
795
00:53:31,940 --> 00:53:35,690
Yeah. Great. Thanks. Ah! Is
this one of these talking robots?
796
00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:38,180
Yeah, a friend of mine gave it to me.
797
00:53:40,460 --> 00:53:45,140
"Commence invasion!
Engage target. Annihilate!"
798
00:53:50,860 --> 00:53:52,930
I love these things!
799
00:53:52,940 --> 00:53:54,300
"Annihilate!"
800
00:54:00,780 --> 00:54:03,130
Does it say anything else?
801
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:06,850
"Commence invasion. Engage target... "
802
00:54:06,860 --> 00:54:08,930
Oh!
803
00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:12,330
I've wanted to kiss a woman forever.
804
00:54:12,340 --> 00:54:14,530
And you're gorgeous.
805
00:54:15,420 --> 00:54:17,170
Oh, sorry.
806
00:54:17,290 --> 00:54:21,450
- It's ok, don't worry about it.
- Annihilate!
807
00:54:25,780 --> 00:54:27,300
That should do it!
808
00:54:37,980 --> 00:54:39,500
Hello?
809
00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:49,540
Shit.
810
00:54:51,550 --> 00:54:52,710
Hello?
811
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:08,220
Hello?
812
00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:18,890
Oh, yeah! Go on...
813
00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,510
Ah! Oh, yeah!
814
00:55:21,630 --> 00:55:22,820
Ah!
815
00:55:29,220 --> 00:55:32,260
I bet he thinks he's
died and gone to heaven.
816
00:55:59,380 --> 00:56:02,890
Ah, yeah!
817
00:56:29,660 --> 00:56:31,570
Are you ok?
818
00:56:31,580 --> 00:56:34,020
Yeah, I just gotta go.
819
00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,050
Well, can I have your number?
820
00:56:38,060 --> 00:56:40,580
Take it from me, you really don't want it.
821
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:17,670
You haven't been written
out of history like I have.
822
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,250
Outside now!
823
00:57:19,370 --> 00:57:22,370
Tess, look, you wouldn't be
able to tell anyone about us.
824
00:57:23,230 --> 00:57:25,970
Jesus! What the fuck are you doing?!
825
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:27,730
I was a nightmare date,
826
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:29,650
and it isn't a crime not to fancy someone.
827
00:57:29,770 --> 00:57:31,310
I never said I don't fancy you.
828
00:57:31,550 --> 00:57:33,770
You're not seriously
interested in a cop, are you?
829
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,290
So you know I'm going on a date?
830
00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:37,500
But you thought you'd just turn up anyway?
59648
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