All language subtitles for Greys Anatomy S18E20

as an extraordinary surgeon,

but Catherine Fox was...

so much more than that.

For starters, she was my mom.

There was no better mom.

I mean that in some
of the most surprising ways.

I mean, she would make
my Halloween costume

every year from scratch

at an old sewing machine
that her grandmother gave her.

When I'd fall
and scrape my knee,

she would blow on it
when she cleaned it out

and tell me she was doing magic,

blowing the pain away, and she
said it with such conviction

that I think I was like 13
before I started to question it.

Ha!

Before the advent of surgery,

many illnesses were treated
with phlebotomy --

also known as bloodletting.

There's just no one like her --
no one pushier,

no one nosier...

...and absolutely
no one more loving.

Also no one in the world who
would force me to eulogize them

while they are very much
still alive.

I love you so much, Mom.

I hope you live forever.

Oh, baby.

Oh, that was just wonderful.
Mm!

All right, April,
you're up next.

Wait, really?
Mom --

It's a foolish waste
to wait till somebody's dead

to say all the nice things.

I want mine now, and I won't be
apologetic about it.

Don't you think
it's a little morose?

It's only morose
if you make it morose.

All right, well, I am here
on official business,

so I'm gonna go track down
Jamarah Blake.

- I'll see you later.
- Right.

Go save the program.

Use all your charms

and make sure you smile
with those eyes.

Those eyes have magic.

Okay, you ready?

Oh, no, April, stay.
- Come on.
- What?

- I want my speech.
- Uh --

Bloodletting is
the withdrawal of blood

from a patient to prevent
or cure illness and disease.

It was one of the most common
medical practices

performed by surgeons

from ancient Greece
until the late 19th century.

Why don't more people
donate blood?

It's an excellent
question.

Do they not know
it could be their family,

their friends?

Well, have you donated
this month?

I'm a gay man, Ben.

They don't want
my dirty, gay blood.

Yes. It's a leftover from HIV
and all the fear about it --

I know what it's left over from,
but science has advanced.

We can test for HIV now, and yet
the guideline still remains,

which is lazy and gross.

Yeah, it is.
It's also stupid,

because no one rallies
like the gay men rally,

and the blood shortage
would be over in a week

if they changed the law.

We'd have dance parties
at the blood-a-thon.

I know you would.

The practice has largely been
abandoned, because we now know

that in the overwhelming
majority of cases,

the use of bloodletting
is harmful to patients.

And yet, we did it
as a standard medical practice

for over 2,000 years.

It wasn't a blip in the history
of medicine. It was an era.

This liver is just going to
continue to ooze --

we need at least six
more units here.

It's coming.

Okay.

Dr. Grey.

Where's the blood?

There was an accident.

What? Wait, g-go back
down to the pit.

You tell Owen Hunt
that I said

my OR is in line
in front of his.

I don't care
what trauma he has.

Dr. Grey, there was an accident
with the blood.

- What?
- What does that mean?

The transport vehicle
spun out in the rain.

The blood's in a puddle
all over Henderson Avenue.

So we gotta get her
to the ICU, right?

I mean, we can't leave her open.
She's losing fluids.

We can't keep
giving her saline --

it's just diluting her.

I mean, y-you want
to move her?

Yes. We have more control
in the ICU,

so let's just pack her

and do the best we can to bridge
it until some blood arrives.

Okay.
If anybody up there

has not given blood yet,

now would be a good time.

That's one of us down there.

Where's your loyalty?

This is your arena.

How well you play --
that's up to you.

I have a blood shortage,

and there are dozens
of bags of blood

spilled on
the street.

I have a physician shortage,

and then you two --
you two --

I had one thing solved,

and then you just spilled it
in the street.

Meanwhile, the accreditation
council is here.

And who the hell's
covering the pit?

Kepner, I need you
to cover the pit.

Hi. I don't work here.

- I came for coffee.
- Take it to go.

What, you want cream?

Sugar?
Um...

Hey, guys.
Hey.

Everything okay?

It is now that
you are covering the pit.

Okay, if you --

Yep. All right.
Okay.

Okay.
Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mnh.

And don't sign him up
for baseball

just because
I played baseball.

What if he likes baseball?

Just let him be him.

Okay.

What else?

You will be
the most excellent mother.

How you feeling, Simon?

Like there's too many doctors
in here for a dying man

in a physician shortage.

Except there's also
a blood shortage.

All of our surgeries
got canceled.

Everyone loves you, babe,
you just have to deal with --

Oh!

Baby?
Kristen?

Ow! Ooh, ooh.

Oh, you think
it's Braxton Hicks again?

No, these are worse.

Can I?
Uh-huh.

I'll page OB.

Dr. Wilson --
- Call -- Call Dr. Wilson.
- Okay.

Maybe they're real?

Oh, please, God,
let these be real.

Kepner, what are you
doing here?

Uh, long story.
What do we got?

37 units of blood.

So they got you working
the pit, huh?

A few hours, I hope.

Honestly, I don't know
what's going on.

Your wife started yelling at me,
and I'm like Pavlov's dog.

Bailey yells,
and I snap to attention.

Well, a blood shortage
is what's going on.

Well, yeah, there's
a nationwide blood shortage

since they closed the mobile
clinics in the pandemic.

But I'm just saying,
right now,

today, Grey-Sloan
is experiencing

an acute blood shortage.

And all the blood
that was supposed to

replenish the stores
was in an accident.

Any injured drivers?

Yeah, we went them
to Seattle Pres.

Why?

Because you don't have
the blood to treat them.

You just brought me
37 units.

It's not enough.
Look, Kepler, I --

Look, I know
you don't really work here,

but you're gonna
have to close to trauma.

Bailey's definitely
gonna yell about that.

And the Fox Foundation is so
committed to revitalizing

the residency program that we're
doubling our funding in both

the resident wellness program
and the skills lab,

and we're recruiting
specialized personnel

to assure its success.

Coming through!

Dr. Zemel to the OR.

Dr. Lita Zemel to the OR.

Ms. Blake, any chance
you want to share

what it is
you're thinking here?

Meredith Grey
is leaving Grey-Sloan.

Well, she's indicated
that after, uh,

we get back on our feet,

she has a desire to --No, no.

A plan.
Yes.

She said she, uh,
does have plans to leave.

Mm. And I only know that

because I overheard it
from a resident.

So what I was thinking
while you were talking

is that I wonder what else
is being kept hidden from me.

What I was thinking is
that this man,

he wears a suit well
and talks a real good game,

but what else
is he not saying?

Dr. Rose to the NICU.

Dr. Rose to the NICU.

These burn pit victims --

some of them were just kids
when they signed up.

Now they're dying in their 20s
with lungs so scarred

they don't even
look like lungs.

Come on, Bailey,
just let us go, please.

- I can't.
- He will go to jail.

Not my problem.

It's not my doing.

What if this was Ben?

Ben would never.

Are you sure?

Ben isn't much of
a rule-follower, as I recall.

He may not be
a rule-follower,

but he is not
a law-breaker!

Do you really believe that

these soldiers should be
left alone

to die a slow
and brutally painful death?

They're bankrupting
their families along the way.

You work to change the law!
You do not break the law!

We are working to change
the laws, Bailey.

Bailey...

we have been
on the front lines.

We know what
these soldiers have survived

and what they've sacrificed.

Their lungs are full
of scar tissue caused

by short-sighted decisions
made by our U.S. military.

I had to fight for them.

I had to.

Dr. Dugan to Labor & Delivery.

Dr. Paulette Dugan
to Labor & Delivery.

Hi!

I read your article.

You are such a rock star.

- Thank you.
- Oh!

I saw that you were
covering the pit.

I wanted to see if you needed
extra hands.

Yeah, well,
I probably would have

if we hadn't closed to trauma.

Owen must be losing his mind.

Do y-- Do you have
an update on Catherine?

No, I'm scheduled to talk
to her oncologist later today.

Well, keep me company.

Tell me how you are.

- Oh.
- I'm so sorry.

Oh, no. Wha--

This keeps happening.

I'm --

I'm going through a breakup,
and

I just cannot seem
to shove it down.

You fell in love?

No.

No, because I have fallen in
love so many time in my life,

and it feels like
a roller coaster.

It feels thrilling and consuming
and sickening and desperate,

and this did not
feel like that.

This...
I think I felt, um, seen?

I felt known.

And, um,
I didn't fall in love --

I-I kind of slid into it,

um, like two puzzle pieces
that just kind of fit.

So what happened?

They don't want what I want.

And they -- they don't want
what I have.

They don't want kids.

Are you sure it's over?

It feels pretty over.

I've been where you are.

But never say never.

Hm?

Sometimes love
comes back around.

Okay. We got FFP here.

It's not blood, but it should
help with her coagulopathy.

We can use
plasma expanders, too.

Yeah.

Why did we do this?

We knew there was
a blood shortage.

Why did we do this today?

We did it because the tumor

is wrapped
around the vasculature

of her intestines
and her liver.

If we did not take it out,

she could die from obstruction
or catastrophic GI bleeding.

Do you understand?

You did what?

Took the tumor out.

Why the hell would
you do that?

I expressly told you no!

You expressly told me you did
not want to participate.

I am the chief of general.

I made a call to do
the surgery today.

Yeah, right, because no one's
opinion matters but yours.

Dr. Webber, this is
really not the time --

And as always,
it's all about Meredith Grey

and what she wants,

with no thought to
the consequences it may have.

The consequences are that
this woman would have died.

Yeah, and you may have just
killed the residency program

along with her, which is what
you wanted all along, right?

To ensure that this place
would go up in flames

as you walked out,
to burn it down behind you?

Do you have any idea
what you've done?

I have to investigate
what's going on here.

Congratulations, Meredith.

Ellis would finally
be proud of you.

Listen to me, Meredith.

Anyone can fall in love
and be blindly happy,

but not everyone can pick up
a scalpel and save a life.

The tumor had to come out.

It is killing her.

It had to come out,
and you know it did.

Understood.

And the pain feels
like cramps?

Uh, it's --
Aaah, it's bad.

I don't know. It --
It feels like pain.

Okay. But the pain is coming
and going like contractions?

Yes! Sort of, uh,
I don't know.

It's not completely
- going away.
Dr. Baiocco to Cardiology.

Okay, I need to take you
to the OB floor... Dr. Mary Baiocco to Cardiology.

...to do a proper exam
and to check on the baby.

You think there's something
wrong with the baby?

- Kristen, try not to panic.
- I do, though.

Aah!

I do panic, and trying not
to panic doesn't usually work.

Hey, look at me.

Look at me. Breathe.

In, out.

I love you.

Go with Dr. Wilson.

I don't want to leave you,
though --

Aah! Oh!

Oh, my God.
We need a gurney in here!

I got it!

Okay, okay.
Oh, my God.

What's happening?

Um, it could be
a placental abruption.

But we need to go now.

Are we gonna
take out the baby?

It looks like it.

Okay, page Carina DeLuca.

She's in surgery. I saw her --
she just went in.

Okay, I need to stop the
bleeding and deliver the baby,

so I need hands.

- I'll come. I'll help.
- Schmitt, we need blood, stat.

What is your --B negative!

Okay, go.
Yeah. Got it.

Simon, stay alive.

Stay alive
so you can meet him.

Tell Dr. Lincoln
to keep him alive.
Okay.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey! Oh, okay.
I called ahead,

and we have two units of B neg
on the way to OR 4.

Okay.
We need at least four!

I know!

We've got Kristen,
Schmitt.

Go solve this!
How?!

Think on your feet, Schmitt!

That's the job.

Okay, Kristen,
we're almost there.

Okay. Okay.

- Watch out, watch out!
- Oh! Ah.

A placental abruption.

How bad is that?

Honestly,
it can be very dangerous,

but she is in
the best of hands here.

- And the baby?
- They will do
everything they can

to keep them both safe.

Schmitt, what, what?

Blood, blood.

Take it.

No, we --
we need this blood.

They both have
the same blood type.

They're both B negative.

Take it.
Take it to my wife.

No, we need some
of this blood for the --

No, take it all
to my wife.

Save my wife.

I ca--

Uh, alright, alright.
Yeah, yeah.

Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Excuse me, sorry!

Hey, Schmitt!

Kristen's having
an abruption.

Simon, if she had
an abruption,

that means
they're delivering the baby.

It will only take
a few minutes.

Take me off this machine.

Give all my blood to my wife.

Save my wife.

Save my child.

I'm a dead man.

If you unplug that machine,
I'm gone.

Save them.

Please.

Ashes to ashes.

You grew up.
It's awful being a grown-up.

- Pentaspan is running.
I wish I could go back.

The labs -- they don't
look great, though.

I'd do everything
so differently.

She told me
not to come here.

Ellis.

You know, she wasn't completely
lucid all the time,

but one time, I distinctly
remember her telling me...

It's just blood.

..."Do not go there."Why?

She didn't believe
Richard Webber had

what it took to teach me.

That's the job. That's the job.

To be
what she expected me to be.

I raised you to be
an extraordinary human being!

You're no more than ordinary!
What happened to you?

And you didn't listen to her.

This may be surprising
to you, Dr. Marsh,

but I do not love
being told what to do.

I also think she just didn't
want me to find out

about her dirty laundry.

You know, Meredith, what --
what Richard said...

Is not true.

We could have waited
to do the surgery on Cora.

You -- You pushed for us
to do it today.

So you think I'm sabotaging
the program, too?

No.

Do you think I'm arrogant?

No, the opposite.

I-I-I think, if anything,

you're feeling insecure
about leaving, so...

Crash cart.
She's coding.

Dr. Cantor to Oncology.

Dr. Cantor to Oncology.

Dr. Bailey,
I have been calling and --

I'm aware.

I, uh --
We had an unexpected --

It's been a bit of a day.

Well, are you aware that
your ER has closed to trauma?

I was not aware.

But I'm not surprised.

Dr. Bailey --

Uh, Ms. Blake,
we -- we need

a few minutes here,
please.

I will wait in your office.

Better yet,
we're having a blood drive.

I invite you
to donate while you wait.

The world is broken.

The world is broken in
a thousand different ways

that I cannot fix.

I have to call the police...

...because if I don't,
I could go to jail, too,

and that's not happening.

Bailey --I have to call the police,

but I have to manage
a life-threatening

blood shortage first...

and that could take me
a few hours.

In the meantime,
I'll accept your resignations,

and I...

...I wish you both
the best of luck.

Okay, you get the kids. I'll run
home, and I'll pack what I can.

No, no.
We don't have time.

Bailey might be buying us
more time,

but we don't even know if
John's called the police or not.

We have to go, and we have
to go right now.

Okay.

I'll get Amelia
- to get the kids, okay?
- Okay.

Let's go.

Here we go.

I heard there was
a preemptive memorial?

Oh, it was
really beautiful.

It made me want to do
something bigger,

like a dinner or something.

Lord, if there's one thing
my wife does well,

it's take compliments.

In that case,
I have bad news.

I just spoke with
your oncologist,

and there is no need
for a preemptive memorial,

because your tumor
is responding...

Oh.
...to the chemo trial.

So, Catherine,

for the moment,
you are living with cancer

rather than dying from it.

Oh, to hell with it.

I'll still give
that dinner party.

Oh!

Dr. Shepherd,
get your speech ready.

We have a lot to celebrate.

Oh, baby,
did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

Do you have
to turn it off now?

No, the surgeon can
continue to work,

but without fresh
blood products,

there's a much higher chance
of you bleeding or clotting.

But there's a chance?

There's a chance
I'll meet him?

There's a chance.

Simon...

it has been a tremendous
privilege to be your doctor.

It's been a gift to witness
your love story.

I never imagined a great love
in my life.

I always pictured my child,
but never my wife,

and then I met Kristen,
and she changed me.

She noticed every little thing
about me --

my fear, my shame,
my doubt.

She pulled all
the secrets out of me,

and she held them
to the light.

She loved me.

And little by little...

she showed me
how to love myself.

And if that is not
a life well lived...

I don't know what is.

Tell her that, will you?

Let's push another
amp of epi.

No, it's been too long.

It's been too long.

She's not oxygenating.

You've been running
the same code

for half an hour.

- She's in total organ failure.
- She's in DIC.

Get me blood.

Come on, Cora.

Come on, Cora!

Sally needs you!

Do you understand?

I can't live without you!

Stay awake!

Cora!

- Come on, don't leave us.
- Meredith.

You stay awake!

Cora!

Come on, please.

Hold on, okay?

I love you!
Meredith.

Meredith.

- Please don't die!
- Get out of here, Meredith.

Okay, here he is.
Take him.

Her BP is tanking.
We need more blood!

That's the last bag
of B negative.

Alright.
Call for some crash blood.

That's the last bag,
Dr. Pierce.

Okay. I have to clamp
her uterine arteries.

I have to take the uterus.

Dr. Pierce, can you suction
- so I can see better?
- You got it.

Dr. Wilson.

Not now!

I have blood.
B negative, one bag.

Hang it!

Okay.
Help me isolate the...

We cannot lose her.

I need to take
the baby to Simon.

Not yet!

Push that unit
as fast as you can.

Okay, now the clamp.

Okay. Get more pressers
if we have to.

Okay, he's ready.

Okay, you can take him.
Be careful.

I got control
of the vessels.

Now let's clamp
the cardinal ligaments.

Is he here?

Not yet.

Meredith, that's it.

Derek, you go.

We'll be fine.

Time of death, 5:18.

Simon!

Simon.
Simon, he's here.

Simon.

Hello forever.

Teddy.

Hey, guys.

I don't think these two
are allowed in here.

- No, they're not.
- Thank you.

You want to tell me
what's going on?

No.
We can't.

Seriously?

You guys are scaring me.
Where are you going?

Amelia, please
don't ask questions.

Have you met me?
I'm asking questions.

Where are we going, Papa?

We're -- We're going on a trip,
sweetheart.

Is it -- Is it your mom?
Is it Megan?

Everybody's fine.
We just -- We need to go.

The program is
being assessed today!

Amelia, please, let us go.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- Come on, baby. Come on.

I can't lose you!

Whatever is going on here, I --
I cannot lose you.

Please just
tell me where you are going.

Amelia, we will call soon.
I promise, okay?

Come on, let's go.
- Let's go, guys.
- Everybody, up, up, up.

Run, run, run.
We gotta go. We're in a rush.

That's so good.
Great job. Great job.

Sally.

I'm Dr. Grey.

Sally, this doctor wants
to talk to you.

I'm Dr. Grey.

I was your niece's surgeon
today.

I'm so sorry.

Cora went into organ failure
and did not make it.

We did everything
we could.

Who?

Cora, your niece.

Who?

Who?
This is your family.

I used to be a doctor,
I think.

You were a doctor, Mom.
You were a surgeon.

The carousel never stops
turning.

I can't get off.

We put out the call
on social media.

I hate this hateful,
stupid rule,

and I think I might sue the FDA
to get it changed.

But in the meantime,
we called our friends.

Our sexless friends.

We're doing our part.

I will fight this hateful,
stupid rule with you, Schmitt.

Yes, queen.

Ohh.
Your daddy loved you.

He loved you beyond the beyond.

Whew!

Oh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh. Hey.

Do you know what's going on
with Owen and Teddy?

They okay?

Yeah.
I -- Maybe. I-I don't know.

Physically, they seem okay.

Link, I'm sorry.

I broke your heart.

And you felt blindsided.

And I had forgotten exactly
how badly that hurts.

If I had remembered...

I would have handled things
a little differently.

I'm sorry.

I never would have
had a kid.

I'm too cynical
and the world is too dark.

But you gave me Scout.

And my heart cracked open

and my world got
a little lighter.

Mm.

You gave me a son.

And I get to be his dad.

So I don't hate you.

I love you.

Just...not in the painful way
anymore.

Oh.

I heard about what happened
to your blood.

It's unimaginable.

Yeah, but the, um, residents
have organized a blood drive

on their social media,
so...
Oh.

It's having some success,

even despite the rain.

That generation --
they just might save us all.

They just might.

You should, um,
also know

that my head of trauma

and my, uh,
co-chief of cardio

have tendered
their resignation,

but I will have
candidates lined up.

Dr. Grey.

Yeah, so,
she is also leaving.

Um, she gave her notice,
and she'll be hard to replace,

but we
we will persevere.

Yeah, well, Dr. Grey,
she performed

an unnecessary,
very bloody operation today.

She went against the orders

of the Fox Foundation's
chief medical officer.

So while your residents
are scrambling

to donate
and gather blood,

Dr. Grey is wasting it.

Like I said, she's leaving.

Okay, Dr. Bailey, your program
has been under investigation

due to anonymous complaints
about the Webber Method.

- Right.
- Now, Dr. Webber tried
to reinvent the wheel,

which you objected to
initially...
Right. Yes.

...and shut down
- ultimately.
- Yes.

I've seen this from time to
time, in programs where people

have just been working together
for too long.

They start to feel
like family,

and sometimes
it's a dysfunctional family,

a family where it's just unclear
as to who is in charge.

Richard Webber doesn't respect
your authority over him,

Dr. Grey doesn't respect
his authority over her,

and rules get broken,
and it just gets messy.

And it's even messier
when students are involved.

But our residents, they were
excited by the Webber Method.

So --Okay. Dr. Bailey,
I am sorry.

I am sorry, but I am going to
have to pull...Wait, wait, hold --

...your general surgery
- residency accreditation.
- No. N-- Do not do that --

Do not do --

Your residents will be orphaned,
but I promise you,

we will do our very best
to see

that they land on their feet
somewhere else

while you...
turn this program around.

Recalibrate. Rebuild.

Just...start over.

I have five rules.
Memorize them.

Rule number one --
don't bother sucking up.

I already hate you.
That's not gonna change.

The seven years you spend here

as a surgical resident will be
the best and worst of your life.

Go, work, save some lives.

Who here feels like they
have no idea what they're doing?

You practice on cadavers...

...you observe,

and you think you know
what you're gonna feel like

standing over that table,
but...that was such a high.

For decades,
many doctors were convinced

that bloodletting was harming
more than it helped.

I never said
"I love you" to anyone

before I said it to you.

My parents weren't big
on those words.

When I heard them in movies,

they always sounded like
lies to me.

Like frosting
if frosting made a sound.

I didn't say
"I love you" lightly,

and I didn't propose to you
lightly.

It takes more time for me
to open all the way up.

It takes time for me, too.

I...love my sisters,

and they are my sisters.

I know.

But I grew up
an only child.

I used to whisper my secrets
to myself in the dark.

It takes a lot for me to tell
my secrets to anyone else.

I don't think we got married
too early.

I just think we need to
keep learning each other.

We have to protect
this love, Maggie,

because love like this doesn't
come along all the time.

It doesn't always stay.

But just as many were convinced
that it was the only cure.

I have the best idea.

Yeah?

Hey, what's up,
little guy?

You and Scout come over

and we watch "Encanto"
for the 57th time

because you're
my best friend...

and my favorite person

and everything
is so screwed up in this world

that I need --
I need us not to be.

Doctors, like most human
beings, are risk-averse.

I can accept
that invitation.

But...

I'm singing along
to "Encanto."

Shut up.

Top of my lungs,
every single word.

No.

Right, Scout?
No.

We prefer the safety
of what we know

over the thrill of
new innovations.

What do you mean, they're
traveling? Are they retiring?

No, they're taking
a sabbatical.

I think they're gonna go
see the Great Pyramids.

Well, Richard Webber
is the residency program,

and it just got shut down,
so then who will rebuild it?

I think they're hoping that
I'll run the foundation

and you and Bailey
will salvage the program.

I've already given my notice.

Mm. And I'm asking you
- to take it back.
- No.

Look, I'm not asking you
to stay forever.

I'm asking you
to stay for now.

You can leave
and I can't?

Because my name's not
Meredith Grey, and I didn't --

Look, that article you just
published was noisy, okay?

And if you leave now,
then we're sunk.

It's your fame, your reputation.
That's how we rebuild.

I don't owe you that, and I
resent you for asking it of me.

Do you want this place to just
crumble completely, Mer?

Alright?
It can't not exist.

It's your name
on the building.

- That's Lexie's name.
- Exactly.

It's a standing tribute
to everything and everyone

who's ever trained here.

But, I mean, if I lose you
and Richard at the same time,

that sends a signal
to the world

that there's nothing here
worth saving.

Dr. Grey.

Hi. What's this?

Keys to the chief's office.

You broke it, you bought it.

I have to protect my health
and my sanity first, so...

I quit.

I'm done.

No notice.

Pru and I
have cookies to make.

Cookies!
Yes, baby girl.

You heard me right.

Cookies. Yeah.

Surgeons and doctors,
as a general rule,

like to know for sure
that we are right

before we make a move.

Well, now you really
can't leave.

Jackson --I'm offering you 20%
more than whatever

they'll give you
in Minnesota, okay?

And the title
chief of surgery.

Bailey is upset.
She will be back.

Interim chief of surgery,
then.

Hey, Meredith.

Uh, okay.
Everyone's weird today.

Um, so, she's out.

Your mother gave her
all the cake.

You ready to go?

You look like you need some time
to think it over.

Talk tomorrow?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Hell of a day.
- Hell of a day.

And so, for us, change requires
incontrovertible proof,

which is not always easy
to come by.

Your mom really does
have nine lives.

More like 49.

It has been theorized
that surgery itself

is just an era that will pass.

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep.

But that's a long way away.

And in the meantime,
there are eras within eras.

He's very dreamy,
but he is not the sun.

You are.

We discover new science,

we posit, prove new theories.

You should go.

I should go where?

You should go
back to Minnesota.

That's where your life is.

My life is here.
I see.

I do not think you intentionally
sabotaged this program.

- That's not what I was saying.
- What were you saying?

That I unintentionally
sabotaged the program?
No.

That I'm so unconscious that
I have no idea what drives me?

Or were you saying
I don't know what I want?

I don't know what I want
to the degree

that I risked a woman's life,
that I ended it?

No.

I'm saying you've spent your
entire adult life in one place,

and that makes it
hard to leave -- it does.

And sometimes...we all don't
know what's driving us, okay?

Sometimes I feel 18.

Sometimes I feel 8.

We all have unpacked issues.
We all have trauma.

And from what I understand,

you have more
than your fair share.

I'm saying it's hard to leave,
Meredith.

It's hard.
It's hard to leave. It is.

And what we did today,
that made it harder.

I don't think those two things
are entirely unrelated.

But if you saw all of that,
tell me why you didn't stop me.

Tell me why
you didn't say something.

I saw what I saw,

and I have enough humility
and enough respect

to allow for the possibility
that I was wrong.

Because you
are Meredith Grey

and you do not like
being told what to do.

You really just should go.

Just go.
Just go back to Minnesota.

I have a lot of work
to do here.

And then we bang our heads
against the wall,

trying to convince ourselves to
actually change our practices

in line with what we know.

Because the end of an era...

Nick!

Nick?

...is easier said than done.