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The '80s were
filled with monumental moments
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00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,254
that brought us all together.
3
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:07,007
In my household, that was
me graduating high school
4
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,384
and making sure my mom wasn't
gonna crumble to pieces.
5
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,844
- Thank you for coming.
- Thank you.
6
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,638
I'm honored that you
purchased us a meet-and-greet
7
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,973
with Hollywood actor Bill Bixby.
8
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,142
He's the guy who plays the Hulk
when he's lame and not green.
9
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,728
Wait, Adam said that I was
getting a lifetime supply
10
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:20,729
of Maybelline lip products.
11
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,940
Am I not getting my cherry cola gloss?
12
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,816
I will put my hands on you!
13
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,985
Sorry, it was just something
I said to get you here.
14
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,196
Then who the hell am I here
to meet and/or greet?
15
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,531
- Me?
- Worst day ever!
16
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,490
We're getting off topic.
17
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,700
Tomorrow, I graduate high school,
18
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,245
and Mom is inevitably
gonna fall to pieces.
19
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,246
Yeah, she is.
20
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,497
Oh, I do get a gift.
21
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,541
All I'm asking is for my loving family
22
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,376
to keep her busy and distracted.
23
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:43,377
- No.
- Never.
24
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,796
Come on! You two are my siblings!
25
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:46,922
We share a bond.
26
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,258
Let me stop you right there.
27
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,218
And?
28
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,761
I just wanted to stop you right there.
29
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,680
Okay, what the dope means is,
30
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,557
we had to go through this
when we graduated,
31
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,141
so now you have to go through it, too.
32
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,060
But I'm her last schmoo!
33
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,396
She's gonna freak out way more
than with you two.
34
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,855
Oh, I never thought of it like that.
35
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:04,940
That changes everything.
36
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:05,983
It makes it way funnier.
37
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,025
Best day ever!
38
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,318
Adam, I feel bad for you.
39
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,153
But I also don't feel bad for you.
40
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,322
Blessings upon me.
41
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,158
All my boopies together in one place?
42
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,285
What is this?
43
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,329
Everyone just stopped by for my...
44
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,666
"We Are the Jenkintown"
charity music video.
45
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,752
Oh, like "We Are the World,"
but infinitely smaller.
46
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:26,837
What's your charity?
47
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,463
Uh, a really good one.
48
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,802
The Downtown... Women's... Center
for Charity... Business.
49
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,803
Be careful, Adam.
50
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,763
Most of these places
are gonna rip you off,
51
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,890
and that one sounds a little fake.
52
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:39,683
Because it is.
53
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,143
Adam's scared that you're gonna wig out
54
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,145
and wreck his graduation,
like you absolutely will.
55
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,605
You can all relax.
56
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:47,608
I know tomorrow is a big day
in the history of me,
57
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,484
but I'm gonna be fine.
58
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,279
Plus, I've got my job as
Quaker Warden to distract me.
59
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,114
Even though it's largely ceremonial?
60
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,742
I am also a woman of many hobbies,
61
00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:00,203
like tennis, bedazzling,
and cheesing meats.
62
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,872
Those will fill a minute or two,
63
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:04,333
but there's, like,
eight waking hours in a day.
64
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,126
You sleep way too much, Barry.
65
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,919
Trust me, I got this.
66
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,546
This is a surprisingly
refreshing attitude
67
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:10,714
that I will grasp onto.
68
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,174
Now, stop worrying about me.
69
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,635
Get on out there
and live your young lives.
70
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,345
Scoot! Move it!
71
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,310
Welcome to the rest of
your life, Beverly Goldberg.
72
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,980
Yep, my mom had it all planned out.
73
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,483
Until she found herself
in an empty house,
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00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:33,111
totally and completely alone.
75
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,906
[Bleep]
76
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,282
? I'm twisted up inside ?
77
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:41,078
? But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ?
78
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,455
Subs by kinglouisxx
for www.addic7ed.com
79
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,956
? I don't know the future ?
80
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,669
? But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ?
81
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,712
It was May 18th, 1980-something,
82
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,006
and my sister, Erica,
and her new husband
83
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,592
were settling into
a life of marital bliss.
84
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:56,885
Done. Check it.
85
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,095
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Schneider,
86
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,888
thank you for the set of
Egyptian cotton sheets.
87
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,140
We will think of you every time
we climb into bed together."
88
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,392
Roll it back in your head, babe.
89
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,477
Oh, no, I'm an unintentionally
naughty boy.
90
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,270
While you're at it, you might
want to take another crack at
91
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,564
the one for the Rosens about
the espresso machine
92
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,150
and how much fun we'll have
grinding every morning?
93
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,069
- Aw.
- Huge news!
94
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,612
You have a key to our apartment?
95
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,739
I had one made so I have a place
to shower in this neighborhood.
96
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,950
But I'm gonna be a pop star!
97
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,827
Seems unlikely, but I'll go for a ride.
98
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,620
Cyndi Lauper has a show at the Spectrum,
99
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,580
and one of her backup singers
left the tour
100
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,041
to take care of her dad,
who got trapped in a grain silo
101
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,127
and developed something called
"wheat brain."
102
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,586
Uh-oh, not wheat brain!
103
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,589
It may not be that, but the point is,
104
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,467
Cyndi's holding auditions
for a one-night replacement.
105
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,636
It's all over the radio
at my therapist's office.
106
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,138
And anyone can try out?
107
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,597
Erica, you got to do this.
108
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,599
I'm sorry, is Erica
the one whose parents
109
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,185
bought her a fake Grammy
on their trip to California?
110
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,979
Babe, I left my rock 'n' roll
dreams behind.
111
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,522
I traded in my guitar for a guy
112
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,649
with long eyelashes
and remarkably soft hands.
113
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,485
It's nice that you find beauty
in my less masculine features,
114
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,112
but, come on, it's just one night,
115
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,655
and who's got a better voice than you?
116
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,283
Um, the girl who had Dad buy her a piano
117
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,410
that she only used
for hiding wine coolers?
118
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,619
Joanne, you don't even sing.
119
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,455
Aunt Mildred says
I have the "it" factor.
120
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,582
No, she said you have the "ick" factor.
121
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,459
Who cares? I'm gonna be a star.
122
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,836
- Barry's really rubbing off on her.
- Yeah, he is.
123
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,004
Please, do it for me.
124
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,922
You know how much I used to love
watching you perform.
125
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,966
I guess it'd be fun to just audition.
126
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,052
Fun... the thing that girls just
want to have, per Cyndi.
127
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,221
Fine, you may have the looks
and the incredible voice
128
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,140
and a stage presence
that draws the eyes,
129
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,600
but you don't got what I got.
130
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,769
Is it the address?
I can just turn on the radio.
131
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,145
Oh, damn it.
132
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,189
While Erica was gonna
chase her dreams again,
133
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,900
my mom was interrupting mine.
134
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,651
So not okay!
135
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,070
No, what's not okay is you keep moving.
136
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,864
How else am I supposed to
finish sketching
137
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,241
the front of my
"Adam Sleeping Angel" book?
138
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,659
I didn't sign off on that project.
139
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,827
I'm an adult.
140
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,913
Please don't be
in my room while I sleep.
141
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,373
Oh, poo, you don't mind it
when I brush your hair.
142
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,292
- What?
- Why do you think it's so silky smooth
143
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,502
when you wake up in the morning?
144
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,504
It's the mama hair fairy.
145
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,296
Ugh!
146
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,839
Fine, I'll do it from memory.
147
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,633
It was a waking nightmare.
148
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,051
Graduation day was almost here,
149
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,512
and my mom was still
treating me like I was a baby.
150
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,347
This is your captain speaking.
151
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:09,434
I have a Pancake Airlines flight
yumming in for a landing.
152
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,395
And from there, believe it
or not, it only got worse.
153
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,064
Look what I found!
154
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,982
A painful memory from my childhood?
155
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,984
Fun story... I was up in the attic
156
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,445
just rooting through
all the dozens of boxes
157
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,322
of your childhood clothes
with my headlamp on,
158
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,908
and I just stumbled across it.
159
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,203
That is fun, if "fun" means
totally and disturbingly insane.
160
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,454
Oh, I knew you'd be excited, too.
161
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,789
Wanna try it on?
162
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,541
Not even a little,
which is what that is,
163
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,376
because, again, I wore it as a child.
164
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,086
Well, I'm gonna let it out a little bit
165
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,922
to accommodate your beautifully
developing man body.
166
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,260
To think if I hadn't stopped
to load up on groceries,
167
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,554
I would've missed this
incredibly awesome moment.
168
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,680
Why are you here again?
169
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,224
Picking up toilet paper,
cereal, string cheese,
170
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,767
a variety of juice boxes.
171
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,769
You want me to go to the market
like an animal?
172
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,020
They want money for that stuff!
173
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,189
I gotta go make some
last-minute alterations.
174
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,191
Oh, this is so much fun!
175
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,067
This is bad.
176
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,736
She's in total denial
that I'm graduating.
177
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,071
I know you already said no,
178
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,447
but I really need your help, man.
179
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:07,158
Suppose I were to help you,
what's in it for me?
180
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,910
The deep gratitude of your only brother?
181
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,870
Worthless.
182
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,955
I guess I could take
all your graduation gifts.
183
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,456
But they're a way for
the people in my life
184
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,791
to honor my biggest achievement.
185
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,459
And now they'll be honoring me.
186
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,879
Fine, all the extremely
personal, tailor-made gifts
187
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,839
to start my adult life are yours.
188
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591
Yeah, they are. And for no other reason
189
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,385
beyond cruel whimsy,
I want the cards too.
190
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,596
As Barry drove a hard bargain
for my stuff,
191
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,472
Erica was ready to strut her stuff
192
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,892
and crush her audition for Cyndi Lauper.
193
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:32,893
Hey, how are you feeling?
194
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,019
I guess, nervous.
195
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,520
I mean, I don't usually
get stage fright,
196
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,314
but I just threw up in a plastic plant.
197
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,773
That's because I'm in your head, girl.
198
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,025
Look at me.
199
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,319
I've prepared nothing, and I
haven't even broken a sweat.
200
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,445
Joanne, what are you gonna do?
201
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,571
Freestyle, baby.
202
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,948
I'm best when I'm in the moment.
203
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,993
Yeah!
204
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,620
Music... it's easy.
205
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,080
Attention, nameless hopefuls.
206
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,500
I am Delia Thornton,
Ms. Lauper's manager,
207
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,377
confidant, and second cousin.
208
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,171
It's all about who you know,
and thankfully,
209
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,340
I know my grandpa's
brother's granddaughter.
210
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,885
Well, be prepared to have
your socks knocked off.
211
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,512
I'm assuming you're wearing
socks, because if not, gross.
212
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:10,388
Hard pass.
213
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,223
What? I-I haven't even sung a note.
214
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,683
I don't like your energy.
215
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,436
Thank you for your consideration.
216
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,771
- Erica Goldberg.
- Here.
217
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,731
Um, I'm gonna sing "Time After Time."
218
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,733
Oh, great, I haven't
heard that one today.
219
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:22,484
Oh, good.
220
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,736
A one, two, three.
221
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:28,031
? Then you say, "Go slow" ?
222
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,325
? I fall behind ?
223
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,869
? The second hand unwinds ?
224
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,790
? If you're lost, you can look
and you will find me ?
225
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,084
? Time after time ?
226
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,336
? If you fall, I will catch you ?
227
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,755
? I will be waiting ?
228
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,465
? Time after time ?
229
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,633
No, no. That's enough.
230
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,052
Bomb city.
231
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,929
You're hired.
Everybody else, you can leave.
232
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,597
- For real?
- Yeah, for real?
233
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,265
For real. You've got pipes,
234
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,426
and I desperately want this to be over.
235
00:07:56,512 --> 00:07:58,478
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
236
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,980
You get to sing with Cyndi Lauper!
237
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,322
- How do you feel?
- I feel...
238
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,986
While Erica panicked about
performing for a full house...
239
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,654
...Barry was gonna show my mom
240
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,656
that it wasn't so bad
to have an empty one.
241
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,825
Mom, Pop-Pop's come for a visit!
242
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:15,412
Mama, look, it's treasured
family friend, Bill Lewis!
243
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,123
Mother of mine, it's neighbor
and unlikely confidant,
244
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,332
John Glascott.
245
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,709
Grizzled Grandpappy, a query.
246
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,419
You've raised two kids.
247
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,879
How's life been since
they went out on their own?
248
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,214
Best years of my life.
249
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,425
Without a doubt, it has been nice.
250
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,344
While I have almost no living
relatives or progeny,
251
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,972
I consider my empty home a gift.
252
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,849
Barry had considered everything,
253
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,559
except that this was a terrible idea.
254
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,060
I'm completely alone.
255
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,979
Every sound at night is just a burglar
256
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,481
coming to extinguish
the pain of existence.
257
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,859
Sure, there were some dark days
after Lainey left.
258
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:50,196
Dark, dark, daaaaark days.
259
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,782
And nights, which are naturally dark.
260
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:53,783
I currently fill my time
261
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,036
updating "John and Bev's
Adventure List."
262
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:59,789
This notebook contains over 100
fun activities and vacations
263
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,625
that you and I can go on
once Adam's out of my way.
264
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,002
I spend my evenings at the window
265
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:07,213
flinging pistachio shells at
the mice I've given names to.
266
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,257
Oh, who am I kidding? They're rats!
267
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,675
Never cleaned Lainey's room.
268
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,968
She'd left a bowl of Doritos
269
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,180
that rotted into mushy green triangles.
270
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,431
Every once in a while, I'd eat one
271
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,142
and I swear I can hear her laughter.
272
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,351
And if you look on page 37,
273
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,521
you'll see the Ottawa
Non-Alcoholic Wine Festival.
274
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,607
But eventually, you get up,
brush your tongue,
275
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,734
and pretend life is okay.
276
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,570
Every time I fall, I say,
"This is where I'm going to die."
277
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,405
It's just Canadian grape juice.
278
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,824
But the real buzz comes from the people.
279
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,701
Mama, your mouth is hanging open.
280
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:37,619
That's good, right?
281
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,162
For sure, schmoopie.
282
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,337
Hard to know,
but I think I made it better.
283
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,633
The show had just ended, but
my sister was still buzzing
284
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,427
with excitement for living out
her rock star dream.
285
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,179
Oh, my God, that was amazing!
286
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,806
- You were amazing!
- I was?
287
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,974
I mean, I felt like I was,
but you felt it, too?
288
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,185
Totally! I mean, I was sitting
right next to the fog machine,
289
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,770
so for a while, I thought you
were the keyboardist.
290
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,854
He has bangs, too.
291
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:05,980
He also has a soul patch.
292
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,065
Like I said, it was foggy.
293
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,942
Hon, thanks so much for
pushing me to do this.
294
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,985
This was the best night
of my entire life.
295
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,655
How would you like to have
243 more just like it?
296
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,616
Um, what are you talking about,
Cyndi Lauper's cousin's cousin?
297
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,119
I'm talking about you coming
with us on the European tour.
298
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,161
Cyndi likes you.
299
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,830
- Oh, my God, she does?!
- She does.
300
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,749
You blend in perfectly with
the background in every way.
301
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:25,917
So, are you in?
302
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,127
Oh, my God, I-I don't know.
303
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,255
I mean, uh, we just got married
and I'm still in school.
304
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,923
Uh, do I have to decide right now?
305
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,007
No, no, take your time.
306
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,425
I'll just tell Cyndi you're on the fence
307
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,927
about traveling the world with her.
308
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,137
Wait, no, she's doing it.
309
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,346
Geoff, are you serious?
310
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,556
This has always been your dream.
311
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,391
Until it wasn't your dream
for a little while,
312
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,767
but then it became your dream again,
313
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,394
and you gotta follow
that dream to Europe,
314
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,728
home of all the great wars.
315
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:46,980
Fun guy you got there.
316
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,524
So, I'm gonna pencil you in as yes?
317
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,901
I guess this is happening.
318
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:52,986
It's really happening.
319
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,320
Yeah, it is!
320
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,447
While Geoff knew Erica couldn't
turn down that offer,
321
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,783
Barry turned to the Frentas
to help with my mom.
322
00:10:58,908 --> 00:10:59,993
There you are.
323
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,161
It was so hard to find you two,
324
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,579
because neither of you have jobs.
325
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,998
Uh, I have a thriving floral business.
326
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,124
Don't make me repeat myself.
327
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:07,167
And motherhood is a full-time...
328
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,585
- Save it.
- Barry Goldberg!
329
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,337
I'm sorry, I'm just really
worried about my mom.
330
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,672
Oh, no! Is she okay?
331
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,008
She's mumbling about
building a time machine
332
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,467
to go back when her little baby
333
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,595
suckled at her life-giving
grocery store.
334
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,637
Her words.
335
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,972
And yet you remembered them
336
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,141
and thought to repeat them
loudly in public.
337
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:25,143
I'm not looking for
a give-and-take, Ginzy.
338
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,645
Time to throw on your
unflattering jogging suits
339
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,148
and lift her spirits
with one of your power walks!
340
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,316
Well, I wish I could,
341
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,859
but I sprained my ankle
at aerobics class.
342
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,320
Well, crossing the street to
get to the wine bar after.
343
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,071
Also, I didn't go to aerobics class.
344
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,407
No one cares about your
lack of discipline, Essie.
345
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,367
You need to help distract
my mom from the sad reality
346
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,494
that her weirdest and youngest
child is leaving home!
347
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,455
Barry, despite your unappealing words,
348
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,875
I understand, because my Chad
is also graduating today.
349
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,835
Never heard of him.
Stop with these flimsy excuses
350
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,297
and do your duty as my mother's
best friends/pathetic followers.
351
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,466
- Now, go! Go, go!
- Oh. Okay.
352
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:57,926
Mama, look!
353
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,387
Your dear and aged friends are
here of their own free will!
354
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,432
Why, so they can say goodbye
forever like everybody else?
355
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,059
Sniffle, sniffle.
356
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,603
I'm sorry, I would sniffle for
real, but all the crying
357
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,772
has left me stripped of
my natural moistures.
358
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,940
Actually, we're here to take you
359
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,358
on a little pick-me-up power walk.
360
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,609
Fresh air, Mama.
361
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,985
God's Renuzit.
362
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,363
Well, I guess a little exercise
might be a good thing.
363
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:19,447
There you go!
364
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,282
Now hit the open road with
these two tumbleweeds.
365
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,450
Come on, off you go.
366
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,868
As Barry sent my mom out walking,
367
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,204
Geoff was prepping Erica for the road.
368
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,622
Surprise! You're all packed.
369
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,831
Wow, look at you.
370
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,333
Ready to get rid of me.
371
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,085
No, but I bet you'll never guess
where all your underwear is.
372
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,586
Is it stuffed in my shoes?
373
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,588
Yeah, it's the patented
Schwartz space saver.
374
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:36,714
And don't forget to layer up,
375
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,383
because Europe has seven
different climates.
376
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,801
Uh-huh.
377
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,261
Uh-huh.
378
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,012
What are you doing?!
379
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,139
- Geoff, just stop!
- Stop what?
380
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,391
You always do this!
381
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,101
You're always such
a supportive and loving husband
382
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,352
who puts my needs first!
383
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,938
- I don't mean to!
- Of course you never mean to.
384
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:52,981
You just are.
385
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,315
And I'm sick of it!
386
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,276
You're always like
"you, you, you, Erica,"
387
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,111
but what about your needs, damn it?
388
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,904
Well, my only need
is for you to be happy.
389
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:00,947
How dare you?
390
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,740
What about your happiness, mister?
391
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,284
Have you ever considered yourself
392
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,786
- for one single, solitary second?
- No.
393
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,163
Of course you haven't,
you unselfish jerk.
394
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,623
I thought I was doing what you wanted.
395
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,917
You are... always, and I've had enough.
396
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,169
- I'm sorry, I guess?
- Well, you shouldn't be.
397
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,672
Every time you open your mouth,
something nice spills out
398
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,841
and you make me feel like
the luckiest girl in the world.
399
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:20,842
I can do better.
400
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,261
You can't, you sweet son of a bitch.
401
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,595
You're literally perfect.
402
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,888
I don't have to be. I can change.
403
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,515
I can be the bad man you want.
404
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,017
You say that, but you don't mean it.
405
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,476
- Just let me try.
- Fine!
406
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,396
For once in your life,
stop being so damn loving
407
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,981
and tell me what you want.
408
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,360
I don't want you to go to Europe
with Cyndi Lauper.
409
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,486
And there it is!
410
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,863
But guess what?
411
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,906
I don't want to go either.
412
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,658
I'm so lost.
413
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,119
So, wh-what's gonna happen?
414
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,370
I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
415
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,373
I'm gonna stay right here
with my amazing husband.
416
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,584
You are? But what about your dream?
417
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,336
Geoff, you're my dream.
418
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,629
You.
419
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,385
My God, I love you so much.
420
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,720
I love you, too.
421
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,348
While Erica and Geoff made
a big decision together,
422
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,516
it was finally time for my big day.
423
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,809
Graduation was here,
424
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,520
and everything was just as I'd imagined,
425
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,773
except for the fact that
Beverly Goldberg was missing.
426
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316
Where the hell's my mom?
427
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,734
The only possible answer is
428
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,611
she's trapped at
the bottom of a wishing well.
429
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:22,612
Dave Kim!
430
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:23,821
It's more plausible than her missing
431
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,073
her schmoopie's special day.
432
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,532
Adam, I'm sure she's just parking.
433
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,409
Or maybe Dave Kim's
bottom-of-the-well thing.
434
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,744
It is odd.
435
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,828
Barry, where's Mom?
436
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:31,913
She's not up there with you?
437
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,081
Why would Mom be with me?
438
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,082
I don't know.
439
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,542
To make you sit in her lap
one last time?
440
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,960
What you two have is weird.
441
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,005
What's weird is that I'm here,
and too early, if I may add.
442
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,341
And spare me some speeches
some kid makes
443
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,967
that life is too short.
444
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,469
Not short enough, if you ask me.
445
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,428
Fine.
446
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,222
Keep an eye on
our uplifting grandfather.
447
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,015
I'll go find Mom. Excuse me.
448
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,684
And so, my brother hit the
streets with one mission...
449
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,686
get Beverly Goldberg to graduation.
450
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,854
Where the hell is my mom?!
451
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:57,980
She was so fast.
452
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,233
Like a racehorse, you know?
We couldn't keep up.
453
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,567
- Which way?
- There's no way to tell.
454
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,403
I blinked and she was
beyond the horizon.
455
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,695
She has another gear, man.
456
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,240
Like, so explosive through
her thighs and glutes.
457
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,700
Now, please, take me to
my son's graduation!
458
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,077
Sorry, no time!
459
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,704
Yep, my mom had gone rogue,
460
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,998
and nothing was gonna stop
Barry from finding her...
461
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,292
...except this.
462
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,128
Officer Puchinski, let me go through.
463
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,671
I have a minor family emergency!
464
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,797
Oh, I'm aware.
465
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,215
Get her out of the road.
466
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,096
Mama!
467
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,681
What are you doing?
468
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,392
Oh, hey, boopie, I'm just
getting a little power walk in.
469
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,353
It's just, Adam is graduating
from high school right now.
470
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,604
Oh, I don't know what
you're talking about.
471
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,023
If I'm not there, it couldn't
possibly be happening.
472
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,818
Look, I know you're having
a hard time right now,
473
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,736
but you can't miss this.
474
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,113
It's really important.
475
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,490
What's important is I keep
walking and no one grows up
476
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,909
and no one ever leaves me
and nothing ever changes.
477
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,454
- But that's not how it works.
- Why can't it?
478
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,289
Then my babies would still be here,
479
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,249
and I wouldn't be completely clueless
480
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,168
about what to do
with the rest of my life.
481
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,502
I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
482
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,629
You're gonna face it head-on.
483
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,506
Might not always be easy.
484
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,009
In fact, it... it might hurt sometimes,
485
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,971
but you're so lucky, 'cause Adam?
486
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,973
He's gonna miss you as much as
you're gonna miss him.
487
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,141
How do you know?
488
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,310
Because that's how I feel.
489
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,937
Why do you think
I'm always at the house?
490
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,439
Groceries?
491
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:25,318
Obviously, but also because it's home.
492
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,944
It's where you and Dad are.
493
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,821
That will never, ever change.
494
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,161
Oh, my God.
495
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,955
Oh, my God, I'm missing
my baby's graduation!
496
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,749
The hell you are. I heard every word.
497
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,167
Stay on my tail.
498
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,797
Beverly! Wait!
499
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,468
The time to graduate was here,
500
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,928
but my mom still wasn't.
501
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,764
Welcome, students and families,
502
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,767
to the graduation of the class of 198...
503
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,312
If everyone would please take a seat,
504
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,357
we will... commence.
505
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,567
Randall Henry Abington,
506
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,735
come get your diploma.
507
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,903
What the hell, man?
508
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,863
It's starting,
and my mom is nowhere in sight.
509
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,114
Mine is.
510
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,950
What? Does everything
have to be about you?
511
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,243
Brea Bee!
512
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,786
Come on down!
513
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,371
Sorry, Ad, kinda gotta do this.
514
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,455
At least try to stall.
515
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,706
- Stall?
- Vamp?
516
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,209
Do a little soft shoe?
Tell a story with your feet.
517
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,796
Brea, I got a lot of names here.
518
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,465
If you'd just put a little
zip in your howdy.
519
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,883
He has no power over you anymore.
520
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,343
You are molasses, baby.
521
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,762
Let's go, youngsters.
522
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,430
There you are. Where've you been?
523
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,140
Oh, um, I was still nauseous,
524
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,850
so I just popped in to see the doctor.
525
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:40,810
Is everything all right?
526
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:41,894
Actually, yeah.
527
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,062
Better than all right.
528
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,025
Whew!
529
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,735
You may begin, I'm here.
530
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,280
And I'm here, too!
I'm so sorry, Chadwick!
531
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,031
Your father saved us terrible seats.
532
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,116
Oh, Mom!
533
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,492
You made it out of the wishing well.
534
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,702
What does that mean, schmoopie?
535
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,037
It's one of the many working
theories of your whereabouts.
536
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,956
Any chance you were buried under rubble?
537
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,833
I had $20 on it.
538
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,585
Barry, thank you.
539
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,961
No problem, Ad Rock.
540
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,088
It's a pretty big day for all of us.
541
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,507
And that includes
all the other people here
542
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,050
who aren't Goldbergs.
543
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,469
Now can I please get these kids
off my books?
544
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,638
Do your thing! I'm barely here.
545
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,641
Adam Frederick Goldberg.
546
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,312
Whoo!
547
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:28,149
And with that, it was a few
steps to the end of an era.
548
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,192
It happened in a blink,
and I can only imagine
549
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,360
what that felt like for my mom.
550
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,654
? The second hand unwinds ?
551
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:38,534
? If you're lost you can look
and you will find me ?
552
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,870
? Time after time ?
553
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:45,708
? If you fall, I will catch you,
I'll be waiting ?
554
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,669
? Time after time ?
555
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:53,257
? If you're lost, you can look
and you will find me ?
556
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,052
? Time after time ?
557
00:18:56,177 --> 00:19:00,640
? If you fall, I will catch you,
I will be waiting ?
558
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,267
? Time after time ?
559
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,104
Yeah, I couldn't have done any
of it without her or my dad.
560
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,981
And standing up there, I thought about
561
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,067
all the people who got me to this day...
562
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,277
the friends, the teachers...
563
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,446
And another page turns.
564
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,865
Way to go, young people!
565
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,454
...but especially
the greatest, most insane,
566
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:27,416
loving family a kid could ever ask for.
567
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,293
Mama, you okay?
568
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,380
You know what? I am. I am.
569
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,424
I know there's no more babies
at home, but it's okay.
570
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:36,967
I'm excited for what's next.
571
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,471
Yeah, Mom, about that.
572
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,556
Oh, my God.
573
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,808
You're not.
574
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,434
What isn't she?
575
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,436
Actually, I am.
576
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,439
Why is she screaming?
577
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,775
Geoff, we're having a baby.
578
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:54,735
Really?!
579
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,445
I'm gonna be a dad?
580
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:57,738
You're gonna be the best dad.
581
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,116
Mazel tov, kiddos.
582
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,703
My baby's having a baby!
583
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,330
I'm gonna be a grandma!
584
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:09,792
That's the most important person
in a new child's life!
585
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,129
You know, my Pops once said,
586
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:16,006
"Always bet on the side of love."
587
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,467
I miss him every day, but he lives on,
588
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,721
because like with all matters
of the heart, he was right.
589
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,014
That's just what my family does.
590
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,058
We bet on love.
591
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,270
And for the most part,
it's worked out pretty great.
592
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,563
Of course, looking back,
593
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,190
every little detail may not
have been exactly right.
594
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,359
But there's one thing I am sure about...
595
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,362
It was a day I would never forget.
596
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,989
You know how it goes by now.
597
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,492
It was 1980-something, the year
I graduated high school,
598
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:48,581
the year I became an uncle,
and it was awesome.
599
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,791
? Time after time ?
600
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,962
Hurry up, I'm excited!
601
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,799
Just know I'm doing this
as a graduation gift to you.
602
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,594
Holy [Bleep]!
603
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,138
An angel has fallen to earth
and put on a sweater.
604
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,639
I immediately regret this.
605
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,808
Cool train, bro.
606
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,351
That means you're a train lover.
607
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,145
It's open to interpretation!
608
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,104
Oh, but wait, there's more.
609
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,147
Please say there's a hat.
610
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,398
You know there's a damn hat!
611
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,775
For the kissy express,
612
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,319
of course the conductor wears a hat.
613
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,946
Chugga-chugga-schmoo-schmoo!
614
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,031
Oh!
615
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:28,996
Holy [Bleep]!
45509
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