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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,293 Where is the admiral? He summoned us here. 2 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:10,254 The admiral's tour of duty has ended. 3 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,715 What of the admiral? 4 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:16,969 He has been subjected to disciplinary termination. 5 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,347 I have assumed command. 6 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,891 This battle group has consistently suffered 7 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:25,102 the greatest casualties of any attack force in the fleet. 8 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,813 His imperial majesty has sent me 9 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:32,401 to take control of our attack on the arcturus system. 10 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,363 To insure our success, all ships 11 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:39,283 have been equipped with enforcer drones to remove 12 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,119 weak links in the command. 13 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,083 Any deviation from the invasion plan will result in disciplinary review. 14 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,417 Outrageous! 15 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,960 The tide of battle can change in seconds. 16 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:53,506 I'll not send my boys to arcturus with 17 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,509 an enforcer drone breathing down my neck! 18 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,975 - I will! - Me, too. No problem. 19 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,003 Whoa! 20 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,278 - Good morning. - Morning. 21 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,989 Russell, anybody need a sheriff while I was gone? 22 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,866 Most folks don't know we've got one. 23 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,952 I like it. What are you up to? 24 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,371 I'm set up by the new off-ramp. 25 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,915 What for? 26 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,835 I'm gonna catch big bean's first speeder. 27 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,337 At least I know where to forward your Christmas present. 28 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,466 Ho-ho-ho. 29 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,404 - Excuse me! - You're excused. 30 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,324 What's the problem? 31 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,243 Nothing these two barrels can't solve. 32 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,287 Hold on a sec. 33 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,081 Why don't you give me the gun? 34 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:54,960 'Cause I'm a crazy old man. 35 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,064 I'm as likely to blow you out of your socks as give you the time of day. 36 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,340 What do you think of that? 37 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,885 It'd be a damn shame to shoot it out with you. 38 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,224 I suppose it would. 39 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,148 I was just gonna scare him. 40 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,943 You scared me. 41 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,487 Here. 42 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,368 What's going on with you and the farmer's trust? 43 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,201 This here is what's going on. 44 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:31,330 Look at it. Look there and there. 45 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,250 All right. Let me read it, okay? 46 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,336 Go ahead. Nobody can do anything about that, no way. 47 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,672 That's true. 48 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:43,300 - Clambaker! - That's klembecker. 49 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:47,012 Steve w. Klembecker, president of the farmer's trust. 50 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:50,141 Farmer's trust! My aunt Suzy's rear end! 51 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:54,937 One of the forward-thinking businessmen 52 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,232 who convinced the council we needed a new sheriff. 53 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,569 We never needed a sheriff until you showed up, you crook! 54 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,530 Hold it. Wait. 55 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,199 Did you send this letter? 56 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,452 I believe that's my signature right there. 57 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,998 I'm afraid the party's over? 58 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,166 The party's over. That's correct. 59 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:20,296 As per Mr. Wrenchmuller's loan agreement 60 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,674 the credit union has legal right to assume control 61 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,218 of the property tomorrow at noon. 62 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:30,347 Unless he can come up with the cash or a crop to sign over. 63 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,516 Nobody's got a crop. 64 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,311 There's nothing you can do with the property 65 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,148 - until next season anyway. - Sheriff hoxley. 66 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,401 Sheriff hoxley, you're new here. 67 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,653 Let me clue you in. 68 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,324 You see, we have direct highway access now 69 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:52,077 and the opportunity to turn this town into a Metropolis. 70 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:55,247 Unless you've got the money to pay off overdue loans 71 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,583 maybe you should stick to the kind of calls 72 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,752 we hired you to handle, 73 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,422 like keeping vagrants off the street. 74 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,718 If you would? 75 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,179 We'll deal with this in the morning 76 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,389 at the courthouse. 77 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,351 Come on, Mr. Wrenchmuller. 78 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,687 Aren't you kinda big for a boy scout? 79 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,774 I can take care of myself. 80 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,697 Happy Halloween, big bean. 81 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,340 The arcturians have destroyed the fleet. 82 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,759 I've sent a distress signal 83 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,095 to all ships across the galaxy. 84 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,807 We're headed into their sun and are about to explode! 85 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,644 I have not yet begun to fight. 86 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,272 Now would be a great time to start! 87 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,368 How was school today? 88 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,745 Okay. 89 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,249 - How was sheriffing? - Okay. 90 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,928 You really don't like it here, do you, Kathy? 91 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,549 Everything was starting to get back to normal. 92 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,678 - Then we just decide to move. - It's a good job. 93 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,432 - There's nothing to do. - There's trick or treat. 94 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,393 You're sending me with kids I don't know. 95 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,770 Somebody's got to keep the streets safe. 96 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,523 From what? Cows? 97 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,862 Do we have any krazy glue? 98 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,366 Um, I think it's in that box. 99 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,218 What's the matter? 100 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,348 Everyone's gonna show up dressed like scarecrows, pigs, and clowns and stuff. 101 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,228 I'm not sure big bean is ready for aliens. 102 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,231 Achoo! Sorry about that folks. 103 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,817 This being Halloween night 104 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,527 I thought it'd be fun to dust off an old favorite 105 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,280 from the golden days of radio. 106 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,616 50 years ago tonight, Orson welles 107 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,535 gave a depressed nation a few hours 108 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,622 of desperately needed fun. 109 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:46,502 Things being the way they are these days 110 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,754 we could sure use a little of that. 111 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,756 So, big bean 112 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,925 just for tonight 113 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:56,178 forget your woes and have a good time. 114 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:59,598 The Columbia broadcasting system and its affiliated stations 115 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,559 present Orson welles and the Mercury theater 116 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,604 in the war of the worlds. 117 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,325 Ladies and gentlemen, 118 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:22,496 the director and star of these broadcasts, Orson welles. 119 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,707 We know now in the early years of the 20th century 120 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:30,462 this world was being watched closely by intelligences 121 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,966 greater than man '5, yet as mortal as his own. 122 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,886 We know that as humans busied themselves 123 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,389 about their various concerns 124 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,559 they were scrutinized and studied 125 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,353 perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope 126 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,856 might scrutinize the transient creatures 127 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,443 that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. 128 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,530 With infinite complacence 129 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:59,366 people went about their little affairs 130 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,870 serene in the assurance of their dominion 131 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,999 over this small, spinning fragment of solar driftwood 132 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,877 which by chance or design, 133 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:13,381 man has inherited out of the dark mystery of time and space. 134 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:18,719 Yet, across an immense ethereal Gulf 135 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,555 minds that are to our minds 136 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,975 as ours are to the beasts in the jungle 137 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:29,855 intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic 138 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,525 regarded this earth with envious eyes 139 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,904 and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. 140 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,657 Hey, I heard a distress signal. 141 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:45,037 Patrol ship x-5-9-y-p-q to battle group 7, come in. 142 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,497 It's like the fleet disappeared! 143 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:51,043 Maybe it's interference. Get us outta the rocks. 144 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,378 We're almost clear. Okay 145 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,505 hit it! 146 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,596 Ladies and gentlemen, I have a grave announcement. 147 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,765 Both the observations of science 148 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,808 and the evidence of our eyes 149 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,436 lead to the inescapable assumption 150 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,689 that those beings who landed in the Jersey farmlands 151 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,860 are the vanguard of an invading army from Mars. 152 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,702 I remember when they first played that. 153 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,830 You remember pterodactyls. 154 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,875 I remember you fell for that hook, line, and sinker. 155 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,087 - I did not. - You did so. 156 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,424 You put a big bucket on your head 157 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,552 and took off with them army boys to fight martians. 158 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,347 Ain't you dead yet? 159 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,854 Can't I stay with you and fight crime? 160 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,482 I'll see you at the spookluck dinner. 161 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,484 Give us a kiss. 162 00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,445 That's my girl. 163 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:04,367 I should have come as a wedge of cheese. 164 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,998 I'm probably the only alien for a billion miles. 165 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:17,129 Martians visible above treetops moving north. 166 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,464 Hi, mom. 167 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,634 Dad. 168 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,762 Welcome to another thrilling, true-life episode of. 169 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:29,641 Russell pillsbury, deputy sheriff. 170 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,601 I'm parked 171 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,146 by big bean's new off-ramp 172 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,774 and will soon be giving the city's first speeding ticket. 173 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,111 Who will be the lucky winner? 174 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,803 We gotta get us some money 175 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:10,015 or they're gonna kick us out of here. 176 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:14,102 Then we'll have to live with my sister Marge 177 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,772 and her poodle. 178 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,024 - Arf! - Yeah. 179 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,792 Why did I have to go and get old? 180 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,060 It's 8:15 P.M., October 3lst. 181 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,146 I've just been alerted to a speed violation in progress. 182 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,483 Watch now as I teach this automotive scofflaw 183 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,527 a lesson in motor-vehicular responsibility. 184 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,529 Nobody gets away 185 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,074 with going 3,000 m.P.H. In a 55... 186 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:27,926 Don't s'pose we'll ever see a night quite like that again. 187 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,763 - Not likely. - Nope, nope. 188 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,898 I'll get the bucket. 189 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,241 Damn. 190 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,076 Termites are munching 191 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,704 on our barn. 192 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,790 We're gonna have to do something before they ruin it. 193 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,960 Come on, Jim. 194 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,107 Who taught you to drive, you moron! 195 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,943 Nice landing, blaznee. 196 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,863 Are we there? Is this it? 197 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:33,158 Kids, 3-d and driving just don't mix. 198 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,995 Welcome to earth. Enjoy it while it lasts. 199 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,956 Are you sure this is where the fleet is? 200 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,918 You heard the earthling's pathetic radio broadcast. 201 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,963 "Lookout for that heat ray. Help us. We're gonna die." 202 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,092 They got that right. Hee-hee-hee. 203 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,262 Blaznee, this is the place. We're here. 204 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,848 Let's start enjoying ourselves! 205 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,768 Let's maneuver closer to the action. 206 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,854 Strafe the local citizenry before we land. 207 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,148 Sorry. No can do. 208 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,193 - Why not? - Let's see. 209 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,820 We got a torqued-out digiframus. 210 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:14,616 Our megaspazz redundancy pile is on the blink. 211 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,994 It looks like we bruised our boo-boo. 212 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:21,122 He's making the whole last bit up. There's no such thing! 213 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,916 Coward! 214 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,376 Heh-heh-heh. 215 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,169 Let's kick some earthling butt! 216 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,214 Finally, a real mission. 217 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,800 Maybe we better think this over, huh? 218 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,885 Good-bye, civilian asteroid patrol. 219 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,304 Hello, atomic space Navy. 220 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,641 The fleet was supposed to be attacking arcturus. 221 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,726 The plan to attack arcturus 222 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,229 was obviously a clever decoy 223 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:48,900 the total annihilation of all things human. 224 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,696 Now, quit raining on our parade! 225 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,660 But why? 226 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,079 Why would Mars want to attack 227 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,999 the puny, insignificant forces of earth? 228 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,835 Because we win! 229 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:11,840 Prepare to die, earth scum! 230 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,717 - Where is everybody? - Blowing up all the good stuff. 231 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,427 Come on. 232 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,805 I think we brought the wrong gun. 233 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,766 It certainly is green here. 234 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,020 Perhaps our camouflage is inappropriate. 235 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,314 Come on, Jim. 236 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,032 Just for the record 237 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,867 I'm listening. 238 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,704 I thought this was a bad idea. 239 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:46,876 Just for the record, you'd better hope not. 240 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,393 May, June 241 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,729 July, August 242 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,273 15, 18! 243 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,984 They're martians! 244 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,070 I knew it! 245 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:18,907 Jim, it looks as if me and you 246 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,992 is the earth's only hope. 247 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,120 That's kinda sad, ain't it? 248 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,790 I guess it's better to die 249 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:30,335 a horrible, agonizing death defending the earth 250 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:33,004 than to wither away 251 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,174 with Marge and her poodle. 252 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,432 That's the spirit! 253 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,227 We got work to do. 254 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:53,525 What do you make of it, doctor? 255 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:57,821 It's long, flat and has yellow lines. That can only mean one thing. 256 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:01,032 - A mine field? - A country road. 257 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,909 That's what they want us to think. 258 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,246 One false move and kaboom! 259 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,998 You'll go home in more pieces than you arrived. 260 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,251 Corporal pez? 261 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,545 - What? - See if we can get across. 262 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,880 - Why don't we go around? - Move! 263 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,174 I'm going home in a bag! 264 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,219 It's always the corpora! That gets blown up first. 265 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,806 Dr. Ziplock, anything in the world-domination kit to help us? 266 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,350 Let's see. 267 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,519 This looks interesting. 268 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,857 - Don't touch that! - Excuse me! 269 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,987 Hit the dirt! 270 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,072 - What? - Get down, stupid! 271 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,492 What in the name of uncle Martin is that? 272 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,287 Scout-in-a-can. Smart, efficient 273 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,082 easy to use, and it's expendable! 274 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,591 Mine field, indeed! What a bunch of twinkie stuffing! 275 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:03,219 It. Giggywig, you give these simple earthlings 276 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,139 far too much credit. 277 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,935 Capt. Bipto? 278 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,146 What happened? 279 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:16,232 Some kind of secret weapon came out of nowhere 280 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,569 and took capt. Bipto to his doom! 281 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,615 Come back, earth scum! 282 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,952 Will there be anything else, senor? 283 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,455 Could you get the windshield, please? 284 00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,458 It would be my pleasure. 285 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,627 Who are you supposed to be? 286 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,338 I am 287 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,091 El Zorro! 288 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:56,481 See Kathy sit. See Kathy sit alone. 289 00:21:56,482 --> 00:22:01,236 See Kathy grow cobwebs and fossilize in boredom. 290 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:04,531 Our first target. Think I can hit it from here? 291 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,533 - Wait a minute. - Let's shoot something already. 292 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,993 Shh. 293 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:16,459 Wow! That's the best alien costume I've ever seen! 294 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,087 Thanks. 295 00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:21,340 I like yours, too. 296 00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:24,384 My mom made it. 297 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:26,303 She went to a lot of trouble. 298 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:33,309 - What are you supposed to be? - I'm a duck! 299 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,021 - Who died and left you in charge? - Capt. Bipto! 300 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:41,442 I'm Kathy. 301 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,446 Brian Hampton. Nice to meet you. 302 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,575 Where did a nice girl like you 303 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:51,369 learn how to make something so 304 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:55,456 mind-numbingly terrifying? 305 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,543 - I spent time with my uncle this summer. - Uh-huh. 306 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:01,296 He works in the movies, making zombies and monsters. 307 00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:02,214 Uh-huh. 308 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:05,550 - I wanted to stay and work for him, - uh-huh. 309 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,011 - But I had to come here with my dad. - Uh-huh. 310 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,722 Where's your mom? 311 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,725 She died last may. 312 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:17,104 Gee, I'm sorry. 313 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,523 That's too bad. 314 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,358 So. 315 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,320 It's just you and your dad, huh? 316 00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:28,448 Yeah, and some goldfish. 317 00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:31,242 If you ever need a little brother 318 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,703 just give me a call. 319 00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:36,206 All right, you two, it's time to go. 320 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:40,501 Come on! 321 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:43,212 How cute! 322 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:44,757 How lovely. 323 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:50,428 Vern, hurry it up! I've got a cold beer and a hot woman 324 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:54,057 and I'm trying to keep 'em that way. 325 00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:57,226 - Mr. Klembecker, fill it up? - Yeah and get the windows. 326 00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:59,772 Warm enough, sweet cheeks? 327 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:05,068 J" darling, come back to me 328 00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:07,403 j" I'm as lonesome as can be 329 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,739 j“ I'm as jumpy as a bug 330 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,117 j" I'm as perky as a slug 331 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:18,414 j" honey darling, come back to me 332 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:21,125 j" when you left home 333 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,086 j" I wrote a little poem 334 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:25,088 hi, dody. 335 00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:27,633 J" but it don't help me 'cause I can't read 336 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:32,303 j" honey darling, come back to me 337 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,306 j“ I'm as lonesome as can be j' 338 00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,725 what are you supposed to be? 339 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,644 Oh, nothing. 340 00:24:39,645 --> 00:24:42,188 Just Zorro. 341 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,400 Zorro's got a hat, you dope! 342 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:48,195 Mr. Klembecker, looks like you hit something. 343 00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:55,535 Clean that up! 344 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:58,329 Oh, man! 345 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,666 Get that off of there! 346 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,129 That ain't gonna work! 347 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,464 Here, use this. 348 00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:17,807 When's my caddy gonna be done? 349 00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:20,727 You can pick it up tomorrow. 350 00:25:20,728 --> 00:25:23,646 Good! It better be clean. 351 00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:26,149 It's clean. 352 00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,736 I polished it up like you said to. 353 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,197 Yuck. 354 00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:37,618 That's 13 gallons 355 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:39,663 at $1.10 a gallon... 356 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:45,586 - That'll be... - Catch you later, okay, pal? 357 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:53,134 Yes, Mr. Klembecker 358 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:55,345 you butthead! 359 00:25:57,306 --> 00:26:00,183 You take the left flank, I'll take the right. 360 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:02,185 You always get the right flank. 361 00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:03,896 We've never done this before, idiot! 362 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:18,243 - What's with the happy sounds? - They're giddy with fear. 363 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,914 - Look! - Get back. Lock and load. 364 00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:28,252 - They're shorter than I thought. - Let's take 'em out. 365 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:30,838 What if they come in small, medium and large! 366 00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:32,840 - How cute! - Wow, a dinosaur! 367 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:35,510 You're all alike! 368 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,804 Prepare to die, earth scum! 369 00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,640 Maybe later. Have fun. Huh? 370 00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:43,267 - What? Come back. - Kids, all aboard. 371 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:45,186 That's something 372 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:47,481 you don't see every day. 373 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,780 - What now, mighty leader? - Kill them! 374 00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:58,449 Kill them! 375 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:02,286 I said, prepare to die, earth scum! 376 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:05,289 Oh, now you've got her. 377 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:08,209 Yep, she's definitely terrified. Oh, boy. 378 00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:09,794 Boys. 379 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,963 Wait a minute. 380 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:15,508 Atomize her already. What's your problem? 381 00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,927 Shouldn't this human be quivering in terror 382 00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:20,596 at our menacing, sinister-looking weaponry? 383 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:22,765 - You'd think so. - Everybody, move over. 384 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:24,851 Make room for the... 385 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,311 - Just play along. - What are we? 386 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,980 Martians! 387 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:32,608 Of course you are. Well, get in. 388 00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:35,611 Perhaps if we ride in this transport 389 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:38,490 we can find their secret resistance headquarters. 390 00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:43,578 Let's shoot our way out. 391 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,997 - It'll be fun. - Shh. They don't know we're martians. 392 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:47,957 Not know? 393 00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:50,918 We're little green men with antennas. 394 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:53,254 They think we're wearing costumes. 395 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,673 What a bunch of morons! 396 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,714 Let's flame these bozos. They're too stupid to live! 397 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:04,891 We have a full tank of gas and lots of empty bags. 398 00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:07,643 - What shall we do? - Trick or treat? 399 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,646 - Smell my feet. - Oh, gross! 400 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:11,767 - Oh, great. - Trick or what? 401 00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:23,534 I'm sick and tired 402 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:28,789 of that old jerk, klembecker pushing everyone around. That's it. 403 00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:31,501 I'm gonna finish the plans for this farmzoid. 404 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:36,422 Someday I'll be able to irrigate every field 405 00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:38,799 and make all the farms healthy again. 406 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,886 Then I'll pick up that farmer's trust of his 407 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:43,930 and drop-kick it into the next county. 408 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:46,349 He thinks he's such a hotshot. 409 00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:48,393 This will work, I think. 410 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,983 Heh-heh-heh. 411 00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,864 Mr. Klembecker, it looks like... 412 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,326 - Dody. Do.. - -Dy 413 00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,922 Wait! You are my robot slave. 414 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:21,634 - You will follow my every command. - Yes, capt. Bipto. 415 00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:24,553 However, my new allegiance 416 00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:27,014 to his imperial majesty might come to light 417 00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:29,600 if I neglect my regular patrons. 418 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,436 We must keep up the appearance 419 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,022 of a normally functioning, fuel-dispensing depot 420 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,066 while we act as undercover agents 421 00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:38,735 of Mars. 422 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,826 I will be right back. 423 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:53,124 Welcome to the gas king, fuel-dispensing depot. 424 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,960 How may I be of assistance? 425 00:29:55,961 --> 00:30:01,008 Capt. Bipto to the invasion force. 426 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,391 Oh-oh-oh. 427 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:16,647 I can't contact the ship or the invasion force. 428 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:18,816 I can only assume the worst. 429 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,569 We must build an attack vehicle, 430 00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:24,530 something that will strike terror 431 00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:26,782 into whomever sets eyes upon it. 432 00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:29,660 Something with huge wheels 433 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:32,913 so we can crush the panicking populace. 434 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:37,084 Something from which I can overlook the battlefield 435 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:41,464 and direct our victorious invasion force. 436 00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:44,467 Something like this? 437 00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:46,511 I was thinking of something a bit larger. 438 00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,895 Those guys are definitely not from here. 439 00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:59,815 - No kidding! Look. - Hey! 440 00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,776 I know what I'm getting for Christmas. 441 00:31:01,777 --> 00:31:04,904 - Give him here. - Lighten up. 442 00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:07,656 It's just a stupid toy. 443 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:10,911 You're not a toy at all, are you? 444 00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,040 I hope you're making him move like that. 445 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:20,169 All right, first stop. 446 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:23,047 Everybody got their bags? 447 00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:26,217 Remember, look both ways before crossing the street. 448 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,803 So that's the trick. 449 00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:31,889 If only capt. Bipto had known. 450 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:36,602 I wonder what klembecker's gonna give us this year. 451 00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:40,523 I hope it's not dead rats. My mom had a cow last time. 452 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,566 What? 453 00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:43,901 Trick or treat? 454 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,070 Yeah. I forgot. 455 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:47,572 Hold on. 456 00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:51,909 Here's one for you. 457 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:54,787 One for you. Plenty to go around. 458 00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:57,498 Cigarettes? 459 00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:59,584 Okay, forget it! 460 00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,780 Hello? Hello? 461 00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:37,079 Well, well, well, 462 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,124 what have we here? 463 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:48,549 Damn. He must be some kind of 464 00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,926 health-food nut. 465 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,179 We're gonna make 466 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:57,808 a bazillion dollars out of this story 467 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,228 and two bazillion on the pictures. 468 00:33:01,104 --> 00:33:03,564 Damn! 469 00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:05,858 The flash don't work, Jim. 470 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,277 Where are we gonna get batteries 471 00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:10,863 at this time of night? 472 00:33:10,864 --> 00:33:12,907 We gotta hurry. 473 00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,117 There's no telling what them 474 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:18,996 wily space creatures will be up to. 475 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:23,709 The smell of battery acid makes me thirsty. 476 00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:26,837 With all their advanced technology 477 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,673 look at the pitiful conveyances the puny earth people construct. 478 00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:30,967 Oh, dear. 479 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:37,640 This one employs a mere 250 horsepower. 480 00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:40,309 Our attack vehicle will cause their eyes 481 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:43,312 to shoot out of their heads in fear. 482 00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,689 Hurry! Who knows what unspeakable terrors 483 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:48,025 have befallen my troops? 484 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:51,987 Wow! What a haul! This is great! 485 00:33:51,988 --> 00:33:55,699 - This kid's gonna barf. - Are you gonna barf? 486 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:58,202 I think he's gonna barf, mom. 487 00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:01,205 - Sit down! - If he barfs, your hairdo's history. 488 00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:04,833 Do I know you boys? 489 00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:08,254 They're on to us. We gotta get outta here. 490 00:34:08,255 --> 00:34:12,174 - I'd like an answer. - Have I got an answer! 491 00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:15,010 Perhaps I'll have to remove those heads of yours 492 00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:17,304 and find out for myself. 493 00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,348 - How do you fire this? - Not that button. 494 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:21,643 - Not like that, idiot. - Whoa! 495 00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:25,688 Did you hear that? 496 00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:27,899 Them martians is starting their attack. 497 00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:35,781 Ah, the carnage begins! I love it! 498 00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:38,702 Hurry, I want to get in on all the fun. 499 00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:41,121 You jerk! 500 00:34:43,790 --> 00:34:46,835 Don't mess with me, kid. You wouldn't like me when I'm mad. 501 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,170 Where are you really from? 502 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:53,215 Tell me who you are, or by tomorrow 503 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:56,885 they'll be printing your pictures on milk cartons! 504 00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:59,263 They're my cousins! 505 00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:02,016 Excuse me? 506 00:35:02,017 --> 00:35:05,227 - From California. - Dude. 507 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:09,273 That's clutch. That's spinner. 508 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:10,941 Yo! 509 00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:12,443 - That's paddlefoot. - Hi. 510 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:15,279 They're surfers. 511 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,282 Why didn't you say so in the first place, hmm? 512 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,826 Yeah. Hmm? 513 00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,787 Well, I'm new here. 514 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:26,457 I don't really know anyone. 515 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,292 I didn't think they'd be trouble. 516 00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:30,836 No real harm is done. 517 00:35:30,837 --> 00:35:33,881 You're welcome, provided you save 518 00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:36,925 those missile attacks for a more suitable occasion. 519 00:35:36,926 --> 00:35:39,262 Yes, ma'am. 520 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:46,393 I don't mean to pry, but would you mind 521 00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:50,147 telling me exactly what's going on here? 522 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:53,443 These guys are from further away than California. 523 00:35:55,195 --> 00:35:58,739 Before you continue, I remind you 524 00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:02,159 that I'm just a little boy and susceptible to nightmares. 525 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,495 Waa! 526 00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:06,997 That's it! 527 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:10,125 I gave you another chance. Since you can't behave 528 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,127 we'll take everyone home! 529 00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:14,338 What's all this? 530 00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:17,841 Oh, yes. You! 531 00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:21,345 Prepare to die, earth scum, again! 532 00:36:21,346 --> 00:36:25,224 You've made your point. Now sit down and shut up! 533 00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:27,476 When a superior alien culture 534 00:36:27,477 --> 00:36:31,021 comes all this way to take over your world 535 00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:33,524 certain laws of planetary conquest apply. 536 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:36,527 For example, when someone points 537 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:39,113 a quad-spected hyperthermic cosmoblaster at you, 538 00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,990 it's a fair bet you are about to become toast. 539 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,535 Please sit down and be quiet. 540 00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:47,414 Perhaps in your case, a loaf of toast! 541 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:52,084 - Uh-oh. - Get out! 542 00:36:52,085 --> 00:36:54,253 Nice going, big mouth. 543 00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:57,005 - I said, out! - I didn't do anything. 544 00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:59,425 I want you out of my car this minute! 545 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:01,093 Get out! 546 00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:03,554 I can be pushed. 547 00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:05,973 But I will not be smart-talked! 548 00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:08,518 Shut up, you old bat! 549 00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:12,187 I think I see my dad's truck. 550 00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:15,065 You can let me and my friend out. 551 00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,192 What truck? I don't see any... 552 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:19,069 Shh. Come on. 553 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:22,531 I think that would be best, miss hoxley. 554 00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:26,368 Good-bye. Thanks for a lovely evening. 555 00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:30,080 Don't worry about us. We'll be fine out here, all alone 556 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:32,499 in the dark! 557 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,960 - Hey! - I don't know what's going on 558 00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:37,963 but I've only got half a bag of candy 559 00:37:37,964 --> 00:37:40,257 so it better be good. 560 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,135 - Happy now? - Well, who was the one 561 00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:46,597 who shot his heat-seeking annihilator out the window? 562 00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:50,476 All right. I'll give it to you straight. 563 00:37:50,477 --> 00:37:53,604 We're being invaded by martians. 564 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:57,441 I'm gonna follow them. You get my dad. 565 00:37:57,442 --> 00:38:01,904 My sister gets half of whatever's in my bag 566 00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:05,574 so you better be right! 567 00:38:05,575 --> 00:38:08,327 As I set down these notes on paper, 568 00:38:08,328 --> 00:38:10,120 I'm obsessed by the thought I may be the last living man on earth. 569 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:13,248 My god. 570 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:15,449 I've been hiding in this empty house near grover's mill. 571 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:23,342 All that's happened before the arrival 572 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:25,469 of these monstrous creatures 573 00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:27,347 russeh? 574 00:38:31,434 --> 00:38:34,311 Where are those guys? 575 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:38,357 Geez, if I get this bucket fixed before they get back, 576 00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:40,901 they're waking home. 577 00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:43,112 This place gives me the willies. 578 00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:59,336 Nobody gets away from Russell pillsbury, deputy sheriff. 579 00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,338 Aw, geez. 580 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,925 Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle, sir? 581 00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:07,554 Now! 582 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:15,686 Maybe it's in backwards. 583 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:19,524 You're getting dog spit all over it. 584 00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:23,987 Ha! Atta boy! 585 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,699 Will you stop wasting film? 586 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:33,287 Gee, officer, what seems to be the problem? 587 00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:36,540 No license, no registration, 588 00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,167 no plates, no headlights, 589 00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:41,712 no taillights, no wheels! 590 00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:45,549 I clocked you going 3,000 miles per hour. 591 00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:50,262 That's 2,945 miles an hour in excess of the posted limit! 592 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:53,724 Great! There goes my insurance. 593 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:58,353 At $10 for every 5 miles an hour over the limit. 594 00:39:58,354 --> 00:40:02,316 Oh, you're gonna do time, pal. 595 00:40:02,317 --> 00:40:04,693 You may even get the chair for this. 596 00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:08,238 Maybe you better step back 597 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,450 and get the big picture here. 598 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:15,163 Okay. 599 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:21,752 I've just made a serious mistake, 600 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,254 haven't I? 601 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:26,090 Ain't life a bitch? 602 00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:29,427 Oof. 603 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:33,097 Ouch! 604 00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:45,692 Meanwhile, elsewhere on the planet. 605 00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:48,612 This is Orson welles, ladies and gentlemen, 606 00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:52,115 to assure you that the war of the worlds 607 00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:54,618 has no further significance 608 00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:57,412 than as the holiday offering it was intended to be. 609 00:40:57,413 --> 00:41:00,415 - The Mercury theater's radio version... - Huh? 610 00:41:00,416 --> 00:41:03,585 - Of dressing in a sheet and saying "boo!" - Oh. 611 00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:07,255 We couldn't soap your windows, steal all your garden gates. 612 00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,549 You have failed. 613 00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:12,637 It's disciplinary review time. 614 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:20,227 You'll be relieved to learn that we didn't mean it 615 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:24,106 and both institutions are still open for business. 616 00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:27,484 Good-bye everybody. Remember, please, 617 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,404 the terrible lesson you learned tonight. 618 00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:33,824 That grinning, glowing, globular invader in your living room 619 00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:36,159 is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch. 620 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,578 If your doorbell rings and nobody's there, 621 00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:41,498 that was no martian. It's Halloween. 622 00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,418 You wanna bet? 623 00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:47,295 I told 'em we were to attack arcturus. 624 00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:49,256 It's not my fault. 625 00:41:49,257 --> 00:41:50,841 Let's talk this out. 626 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,510 I'll go get them 627 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:56,847 and we can blow up any planet you want. 628 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,142 - Just give us a chance! - Too late. 629 00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:02,645 Your imperfection has exceeded acceptable error levels. 630 00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:06,606 You are terminated! 631 00:42:12,321 --> 00:42:13,865 Now for the others. 632 00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,630 Come on, Jim. 633 00:42:33,342 --> 00:42:36,219 You hear that? 634 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,139 He must be on the other side of that bale. 635 00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:42,225 This time, we're gonna get ourselves 636 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:44,896 the picture of the century. 637 00:42:45,813 --> 00:42:47,856 Are you ready? 638 00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:49,524 Get set. 639 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,697 I thought you was a martian. 640 00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:58,325 What'd you do with him? 641 00:42:58,326 --> 00:43:01,704 He was right here when I left. 642 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,833 He was here when I left, too. 643 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:22,934 What do you suppose was in there? 644 00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:31,233 That's it! 645 00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:33,902 I'm gonna kill something if it's the last thing I do. 646 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:36,780 This time, nothing is going to stand 647 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,573 in my way. 648 00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:40,700 Yeah, right. 649 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:43,453 What now, terrifying one? 650 00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:46,289 Shouldn't we be trying to find the fleet? 651 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:49,501 Sure, we can do it the easy way 652 00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:52,879 or we can sack this entire area 653 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,966 all by ourselves with a brilliantly conceived, 654 00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:59,678 meticulously executed, and perfectly-timed operation. 655 00:43:59,679 --> 00:44:01,972 We're gonna blow something up. 656 00:44:01,973 --> 00:44:03,890 Yeah, but what? 657 00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:06,601 Sheriff hoxley's at the v.F.W. Hall. 658 00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:08,770 He'll know what to do. 659 00:44:08,771 --> 00:44:12,274 We're gonna need us more than a sheriff. 660 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:14,985 - We're gonna need us an army. - They'll never believe us. 661 00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:18,447 They're gonna believe us, all right. 662 00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:27,497 The martians is coming! 663 00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,791 Oh, oh. 664 00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:32,794 - What's going on? - I'll tell you what. 665 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:35,797 Big bean is being invaded by martians. 666 00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:37,549 What is this stuff? 667 00:44:37,550 --> 00:44:38,967 From space! 668 00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:41,261 Yikes! 669 00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:44,639 You think I'm crazy, do you? 670 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,268 Well, I've got one of 'em back here in the truck. 671 00:44:48,269 --> 00:44:51,439 Come on. Take a look at this. 672 00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:56,026 Take a look at what? 673 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:58,320 He was here. 674 00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:00,488 I swear it. 675 00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:02,532 Look. 676 00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,785 - That's his green blood. - That's paint. 677 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:08,872 He's getting away. 678 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:11,041 He's going to join his space army. 679 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:13,460 Space army? 680 00:45:13,461 --> 00:45:15,963 I'd death-ray my grandmother for a space army about now. 681 00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:22,302 - Tell him, Russell. - It's true. 682 00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:24,512 I gave one of 'em a ticket. 683 00:45:24,513 --> 00:45:26,431 I'm telling you. It looked 684 00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:28,934 like a full-scale invasion. 685 00:45:28,935 --> 00:45:31,394 I'll tell you what it looks like. 686 00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:33,356 It looks like a hoax to me. 687 00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:39,028 Mr. Wrenchmuller is telling the truth. 688 00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:44,699 Are you insane? 689 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,703 I don't pretend to know everything that's going on 690 00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:51,873 but it's clear to me from evidence I've seen 691 00:45:51,874 --> 00:45:54,584 that we are being visited 692 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:57,420 by intelligent creatures. 693 00:45:57,421 --> 00:46:00,882 Intelligent creatures? That'll throw 'em off the trail. 694 00:46:00,883 --> 00:46:03,969 I even got pictures. Look here. 695 00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:06,721 That's what they look like. 696 00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:09,474 They look just like the sheriff's nephews. 697 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,394 - My nephews? - Your nephews are martians? 698 00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:15,522 No, my nephews aren't martians. I don't even have any nephews. 699 00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:18,108 Their spaceship's in my barn. 700 00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:21,486 - He's a crazy man. - Where'd they get a spaceship? 701 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:23,947 In California. They're surfers. 702 00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,573 Surfers? 703 00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:27,742 That's what your daughter said. 704 00:46:27,743 --> 00:46:30,537 Wait. Where is Kathy? 705 00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:33,707 She got out with your martian surfer nephews. 706 00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:37,043 Mrs. Vanderspool, do know how stupid that sounds? 707 00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:39,546 They're little? 708 00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:41,131 - That's right. - And green? 709 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,757 Yes! 710 00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:45,427 Little dealy-Bobs coming out their head? 711 00:46:45,428 --> 00:46:47,470 Now you're cookin' with gas. 712 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,639 Sounds like martians to me. 713 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,766 I want everybody to remain calm. 714 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:55,145 We should do something about this. 715 00:46:55,146 --> 00:46:57,480 Blaznee to world domination force. 716 00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:59,983 Not now, blaznee. 717 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:03,111 I'm busy sealing the doom of countless millions. 718 00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:06,656 - Shove off. - The device is in place. 719 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,577 They'll never escape us now. Ha, ha! 720 00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:16,624 That's it. 721 00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:18,418 Let the enforcer drone have 'em. 722 00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,795 Oops. 723 00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:22,923 Sheriff hoxley! Sheriff hoxley! 724 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,510 Hold it, hey! Come back here. 725 00:47:27,511 --> 00:47:31,014 There are martians over here! 726 00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:32,682 Martians, martians! 727 00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:35,811 Ahhh! 728 00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,866 Never mess with a frisbee champion. 729 00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,078 Mayday, mayday, going in. 730 00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:00,001 Dr. Ziplock? 731 00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:01,711 Huh? 732 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,214 Activate the hovervid. 733 00:48:07,927 --> 00:48:11,137 - We should call the national guard. - Wait. Hold it. 734 00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:13,556 You're going about this all wrong. 735 00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:16,101 There's nothing to indicate we're in danger. 736 00:48:16,102 --> 00:48:18,520 We don't know what we're dealing with 737 00:48:18,521 --> 00:48:20,064 or even where they are! 738 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,824 We interrupt to bring you a special announcement. 739 00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:33,201 The martians have landed. 740 00:48:33,202 --> 00:48:36,037 Prepare to die, earth scum. 741 00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:39,541 All right, where's your spaceship? 742 00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:41,876 What's a spaceship? 743 00:48:41,877 --> 00:48:44,504 And what are you? 744 00:48:44,505 --> 00:48:48,716 I'm a carnivorous duck and I'm in a bad mood. 745 00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:51,845 Start talking or I start eating! 746 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:55,849 Oh, oh, you mean my spaceship. 747 00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:58,518 I get your drift now. I can lead you right to it. 748 00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:00,603 Come on. 749 00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:02,731 Some alien menace you turned out to be! 750 00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,905 - Capt. Bipto? - Hmm? 751 00:49:10,906 --> 00:49:14,909 - I'm picking up a signal from the omniblab. - Oh? 752 00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:18,288 On behalf of his majesty's atomic space Navy 753 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:21,916 I hereby invite you to surrender peacefully 754 00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:25,086 so that we may execute you in an orderly fashion. 755 00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:28,840 Just in case you're thinking of fleeing in mass panic, 756 00:49:28,841 --> 00:49:31,802 forget it! We 're cutting off your only means of escape. 757 00:49:42,897 --> 00:49:45,273 Brilliant! I would give anything 758 00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:47,776 to see the faces of those human scum now! 759 00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:51,780 The off-ramp. 760 00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:55,825 They blew up 761 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:59,579 our new off-ramp! 762 00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:03,834 Watch as we obliterate a few of your puny missile silos. 763 00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:08,588 Hey they're at the co-op! 764 00:50:08,589 --> 00:50:10,924 Let's get 'em! 765 00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,259 Wait, wait, I saw 'em first. 766 00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:15,595 Wait a minute. 767 00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,639 I've got pictures. 768 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,975 Terrifying, isn't it? 769 00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:22,895 I've got pictures of 'em. 770 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:30,985 Hurry up. Everyone's watching. 771 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:34,197 He keeps trying to put tab a into slot b. 772 00:50:34,198 --> 00:50:38,618 I am not. It says right here, 773 00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:43,207 "insert erradignathnic flodad into hyperpodnec cyboclutch." See? 774 00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,210 Ah, hi. 775 00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:49,922 You gonna turn me in? 776 00:50:54,385 --> 00:50:56,845 Don't you want to take over the world, too? 777 00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,891 We're ready! 778 00:51:01,767 --> 00:51:03,851 Fire! 779 00:51:09,191 --> 00:51:10,985 Pretty neat, huh? 780 00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:28,126 This isn't supposed to happen in small towns. 781 00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:31,005 I moved here to get away from things like this. 782 00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:35,259 This happen a lot in Chicago? 783 00:51:40,431 --> 00:51:43,058 This is what planetary siege weapons are all about. 784 00:51:45,811 --> 00:51:48,062 Wait a minute. Cease fire. 785 00:51:48,063 --> 00:51:50,940 Something's wrong. 786 00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:53,192 Wrong? 787 00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:54,778 What? 788 00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:01,160 - It's been booby-trapped. - And we're the boobies. 789 00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:08,708 Ha, ha! 790 00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:10,461 Another big one! 791 00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:20,136 What is this stuff? 792 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:24,140 It's the most insidious weapon I've ever seen! 793 00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:26,476 Hey, it doesn't taste bad. 794 00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,895 How do we get out of here? 795 00:52:28,896 --> 00:52:30,814 Follow me! 796 00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:37,737 Boy, you guys are in big trouble now. 797 00:52:37,738 --> 00:52:39,406 We gotta get out of here fast. 798 00:52:46,372 --> 00:52:49,332 Hey! It's a map of big bean. 799 00:52:49,333 --> 00:52:51,417 That's my house. 800 00:52:51,418 --> 00:52:53,503 This is where we are now. 801 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,506 Show me where your ship landed. 802 00:52:58,217 --> 00:53:00,510 That's old man wrenchmuller's. 803 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:02,845 I know where that is. 804 00:53:02,846 --> 00:53:04,139 Come on. 805 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,898 There's one. Shoot it you idiot! 806 00:53:15,150 --> 00:53:17,027 Never mind. Shoot that instead. 807 00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:25,993 Are we all having fun yet? 808 00:53:25,994 --> 00:53:28,287 - Yahoo. - What a disaster. 809 00:53:28,288 --> 00:53:30,998 Is this some kind of trick? 810 00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:33,167 Look, kid 811 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:36,379 you helped me out of a jam so I'll level with you. 812 00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:39,173 I don't know anything about this invasion thing. 813 00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:43,344 If you help me, I'll do my best to try and stop it. 814 00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,013 Deal? 815 00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:47,933 Deal. 816 00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:52,103 This is it! We're here! 817 00:53:52,104 --> 00:53:55,189 Where are the craters and flaming buildings? 818 00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:59,277 This is where the battle took place. 819 00:53:59,278 --> 00:54:03,865 We're lost! We missed the war and it's your fault. 820 00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:07,076 - My fault? - Maybe if we just ask somebody? 821 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:10,413 My one chance at the big time and you've ruined it. 822 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:14,041 - Shut up! - This gentleman, perhaps? 823 00:54:14,042 --> 00:54:16,294 - Excuse me. - Oh! 824 00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:19,213 - You scared me. - So sorry. 825 00:54:19,214 --> 00:54:22,592 No, that's good. We're getting somewhere. 826 00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:26,012 - Which way to the massacre? - The what? 827 00:54:26,013 --> 00:54:28,306 Oh, you mean the... ha, ha. 828 00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:31,100 I'm sorry, boys, but it's over. 829 00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,977 - Huh? - Over? 830 00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:35,396 I'm afraid so. 831 00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:38,608 It's a shame you missed the ending. That's the best part. 832 00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:39,942 How so? 833 00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:42,153 You see, 834 00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:44,530 just when it seemed 835 00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:47,074 the earth was doomed to be taken over, 836 00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:49,411 the martians just up and died. 837 00:54:51,330 --> 00:54:54,957 Really? What happened to all their bodies? 838 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,002 The birds got 'em, mostly. 839 00:54:58,003 --> 00:55:00,171 Pecking and tearing, swallowing mouthfuls 840 00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:03,549 of rubbery flesh! 841 00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:06,135 And the dogs had their turn at them! 842 00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:09,139 Fighting over scraps and gnawing on their little skeletons. 843 00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:13,935 And just how did they die? 844 00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:15,479 Our germs got 'em. 845 00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:20,983 - Germs? - Yeah. Little microbes 846 00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:23,904 like the ones that gave me this damn cold. 847 00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:32,161 - Have a good time, boys. - I've got germs! 848 00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:34,205 Aah! Don't touch me! 849 00:55:34,206 --> 00:55:37,333 I don't mean to be nosy 850 00:55:37,334 --> 00:55:40,002 but was there any particular reason 851 00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:42,381 you guys decided to invade earth? 852 00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:48,261 - Promise you won't laugh? - Sure! 853 00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:50,680 Ever hear of the war of the worlds? 854 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:53,558 Guys, guys? 855 00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:55,352 Get a load of this! 856 00:56:01,441 --> 00:56:05,027 Where do we go? What do we do? 857 00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:07,363 - Where do we hide? - Back to the ship. 858 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,365 Back to the asteroids. 859 00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:12,034 I love the asteroids! 860 00:56:12,035 --> 00:56:16,080 Nice, quiet, old asteroid patrol. 861 00:56:16,081 --> 00:56:20,084 - That's the life for me. - Are you kidding? 862 00:56:20,085 --> 00:56:23,713 We'll never make it with the enemy firepower out there. 863 00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:27,049 Luckily I remembered to bring my distress... matic. 864 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:29,344 I love this guy! Come here, you old... 865 00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:34,223 Aw, no! Not now. 866 00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:36,183 It's not ready. 867 00:56:36,184 --> 00:56:38,477 What's not ready? 868 00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:41,355 The ship. A vacuum-head pulled a distress... matic. 869 00:56:41,356 --> 00:56:44,734 - A what? - Emergency beacon autopilot. 870 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:47,362 The ship's programmed to fly to it no matter what. 871 00:56:50,365 --> 00:56:52,242 Verndroid, where did you put the... 872 00:56:55,579 --> 00:56:58,581 That's a distress... matic signal. 873 00:56:58,582 --> 00:57:01,250 My boys are in trouble. 874 00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:03,337 Verndroid, there's not a moment to lose! 875 00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:09,091 What? 876 00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,676 No, it's this way. 877 00:57:10,677 --> 00:57:12,596 Wait! 878 00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:37,703 A farmer's all-purpose helper. 879 00:57:37,704 --> 00:57:41,207 It's guaranteed to remove stumps, 880 00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:44,418 gophers, and drastically reduce 881 00:57:44,419 --> 00:57:46,546 the flight potential of martian spaceships. 882 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:52,677 Jim, you stay there. 883 00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:54,638 I'll be right back. 884 00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:04,146 I've got to rig an override before the engine charges. 885 00:58:04,147 --> 00:58:06,524 - What do you want me to do? - Run for your life! 886 00:58:06,525 --> 00:58:08,776 Run for your life, boy! 887 00:58:08,777 --> 00:58:10,653 Oh! 888 00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:13,364 Abandon ship, shorty. 889 00:58:13,365 --> 00:58:16,784 Abandon it? I've just fixed it. 890 00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:19,538 Too bad 'cause I'm about to UN-fix it. 891 00:58:21,289 --> 00:58:23,541 What's going on? 892 00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:28,170 - What are you doing? - Canceling your ticket home. 893 00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:31,716 Folks would give money to get their hands on you. 894 00:58:31,717 --> 00:58:34,760 I'm the one that's gonna get it! 895 00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:38,472 I guess you better evacuate the premises. 896 00:58:38,473 --> 00:58:42,227 Let me shut the engines off with this little red switch. 897 00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:50,443 Get out of here, kid! 898 00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:54,280 Whoa! Come on, Jim. We're outta here. 899 00:58:54,281 --> 00:58:55,823 Wait. Hold it! 900 00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:58,159 Wait a minute. 901 00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,703 Now we're really outta here! 902 00:59:12,632 --> 00:59:15,217 Forgive me, mother. 903 00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:18,471 I have to throw away my fins. 904 00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,723 I'll make it up to you someday, 905 00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:22,684 somehow! 906 00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:25,604 Whoa! 907 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:30,400 Listen. 908 00:59:31,443 --> 00:59:32,778 What's that? 909 00:59:34,821 --> 00:59:36,490 It can't be any worse than that. 910 00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:38,742 Whoa! 911 00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,374 Duck. Duck! 912 00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:49,251 No! Duck! 913 00:59:49,252 --> 00:59:50,670 Wait! 914 00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:55,674 Hold it right there. Are you a martian? 915 00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:57,927 I'm a duck! 916 00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:00,930 If you're a duck, where are your webbed feet? 917 01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:02,681 Snap out of it. 918 01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:04,643 The martians, they went that way. 919 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:07,813 I said whoa! 920 01:00:11,817 --> 01:00:15,946 When I say whoa, I mean whoa! 921 01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:31,503 Come on. We gotta get off this crazy rock. 922 01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:42,514 I guess this is good-bye. 923 01:00:47,727 --> 01:00:49,688 Don't take it so hard. 924 01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:53,858 Aaah! 925 01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:55,819 What about me? 926 01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:00,448 Knock it off. I'm busy! 927 01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:03,410 Waaa! 928 01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:16,714 - The ship, the ship! - All right. Let's boogie! 929 01:01:16,715 --> 01:01:18,716 Activate defense shields. 930 01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:23,012 The humans are coming! 931 01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:25,556 Blaznee, get us out of here. 932 01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:28,851 No can do. Thanks to your stupid distress... matic, 933 01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:31,437 we tweaked our vapor plates. 934 01:01:31,438 --> 01:01:34,273 Our megaspazz redundancy pile has been fried. 935 01:01:34,274 --> 01:01:36,567 I had to kill the autopilot. 936 01:01:36,568 --> 01:01:39,028 I don't care. Fix all of it. 937 01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:41,530 All of you, fix it, fix it. 938 01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:44,575 Who's that? 939 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:48,787 Clean out the erradicamixer and unscrew the clutch fader. 940 01:01:48,788 --> 01:01:51,373 Are you crazy? You know how bad that's gonna smell? 941 01:01:51,374 --> 01:01:53,834 Hand me a plasma coupler. 942 01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:56,670 Who cares what is smells like! 943 01:01:56,671 --> 01:01:59,757 Come on, already. 944 01:01:59,758 --> 01:02:02,302 Stand by for takeoff. 945 01:02:10,602 --> 01:02:14,397 That must be our boys wreaking havoc over there. 946 01:02:24,783 --> 01:02:27,369 Thank you. 947 01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:32,539 I shall wait in the transport. 948 01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:35,501 Good. You do that. 949 01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:37,671 He's such a good boy. 950 01:02:42,050 --> 01:02:44,677 Come on. What's taking so long? 951 01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:47,930 Enter the n-38 to the 6th power. Now we cross-link 952 01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:50,933 the improbalator to the smalltersnatch. 953 01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:53,103 My men! 954 01:02:56,398 --> 01:02:58,941 - Oh. - I must say, I'm impressed, 955 01:02:58,942 --> 01:03:02,946 a brilliant victory brought about by your will to win. 956 01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:08,827 - Here we go. - Let's get 'em! 957 01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:16,583 What the heck is that thing? 958 01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:18,128 Who cares? Just shoot it. 959 01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:25,634 We did win, didn't we? 960 01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:28,470 No, but if we think fast enough 961 01:03:28,471 --> 01:03:29,931 we just might live to lie about it. 962 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,729 What's the problem? Just vaporize 963 01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:38,772 everyone, everything. 964 01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:41,483 Poof! Mission accomplished. 965 01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:44,653 Medals, awards, a parade. Next? 966 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:48,449 No, wrong, false, none of the above. 967 01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,118 - Why? Because we're not supposed to be here. - What? 968 01:03:51,119 --> 01:03:53,954 We goofed. We erred. 969 01:03:53,955 --> 01:03:56,081 We misinterpreted the data at hand. 970 01:03:56,082 --> 01:03:58,500 I told you so. 971 01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:02,504 Let me explain the situation in a nutshell. 972 01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:05,758 There are 5 of us and 4 billion of them. 973 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:09,845 They have strategic air commands, nuclear-powered submarines 974 01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:11,889 and John Wayne. 975 01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:14,058 We have this. 976 01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,019 - Is it loaded? - Let's find out. 977 01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,898 Wait! We've got bigger problems. 978 01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:23,650 - What's worse than this? - That. 979 01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:24,819 Who let him out? 980 01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:30,032 Martians I'm afraid we have no choice. 981 01:04:30,033 --> 01:04:33,703 We will have to use the dd. 982 01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,539 Break out the kits. 983 01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:40,084 What's the dd? 984 01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:42,796 What does it do? 985 01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:50,719 You can't! If you let your friends blow up the earth 986 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,722 I'll never speak to you again. 987 01:04:53,848 --> 01:04:56,642 Hold your fire. 988 01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:58,228 Hold your fire! 989 01:05:00,021 --> 01:05:01,815 Put your guns down. 990 01:05:09,072 --> 01:05:11,699 What the heck is that? 991 01:05:23,878 --> 01:05:29,007 Citizens of earth, surrender or die. 992 01:05:29,008 --> 01:05:32,761 Why should we? We've got you surrounded. 993 01:05:32,762 --> 01:05:34,972 Take it easy, klembecker. 994 01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:38,600 If you don't surrender, or attempt to kill us 995 01:05:38,601 --> 01:05:41,979 this device will detonate, and you, your town 996 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:44,773 and everything within a million mile radius 997 01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:46,733 will just simply go 998 01:05:46,734 --> 01:05:48,235 kaboom! 999 01:05:48,236 --> 01:05:49,904 Wow! 1000 01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:54,032 You'll be killed, too! 1001 01:05:54,033 --> 01:05:56,785 Wrong! This, you see, 1002 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:59,289 is the donut of destruction! 1003 01:06:02,876 --> 01:06:05,794 It will obliterate all of you 1004 01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:09,089 while leaving us completely unscathed. 1005 01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:12,801 Yeah? What about your ship? 1006 01:06:12,802 --> 01:06:15,555 Won't it be obliterated, too? 1007 01:06:20,935 --> 01:06:24,271 - We're doomed! - Let's let 'em have it! 1008 01:06:24,272 --> 01:06:27,650 Gimme that. Prepare to die, earth scum. 1009 01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,003 You did it again. 1010 01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,797 You put tab '"a" into slot "b". 1011 01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:53,717 - I must've told you a hundred times! - No, I didn't! 1012 01:06:53,718 --> 01:06:56,678 - It wasn't me. - You want to argue or live? 1013 01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:58,764 Get 'em! 1014 01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:01,225 Are you all right? 1015 01:07:01,226 --> 01:07:04,854 - I can't move. My whole body's asleep. - I'll get help. 1016 01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:09,025 Hey, somebody help. Hurry! 1017 01:07:11,653 --> 01:07:12,820 Kathy? 1018 01:07:14,948 --> 01:07:17,366 Kathy! I've been looking all over for you. 1019 01:07:17,367 --> 01:07:19,369 What the heck is that? 1020 01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:23,914 You're alive! 1021 01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:26,792 "Prepare to die, earth scum." 1022 01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:29,378 I'll make sure they carve that on your tombstone. 1023 01:07:29,379 --> 01:07:31,922 Aw, shut up. 1024 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:36,385 They was all I needed to save my farm and I almost had 'em. 1025 01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:40,681 I could have been rich and never had to worry. 1026 01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:43,308 It's gonna be all right. I'll take you to my place. 1027 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:46,687 They landed on my farm. That counts for something. 1028 01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:49,273 - Sure it does. - Verndroid to capt. Bipto. 1029 01:07:49,274 --> 01:07:52,901 Capt. Bipto, come in, please. 1030 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,696 There's something wrong with my brother. 1031 01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:59,032 - Vern's your brother? - Capt. Bipto, come in, please! 1032 01:07:59,033 --> 01:08:02,244 - He used to be. - Vern, are you all right? 1033 01:08:02,245 --> 01:08:04,329 It must be shock. 1034 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,791 I'll take him to my place. 1035 01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:10,419 I'll take care of your truck. 1036 01:08:10,420 --> 01:08:13,422 Keep an eye on that until I get back. 1037 01:08:13,423 --> 01:08:16,842 Listen, Russell is the sheriff now. 1038 01:08:16,843 --> 01:08:18,761 Listen to what he says. 1039 01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:26,143 All right, let's get organized. 1040 01:08:26,144 --> 01:08:28,228 Are you all right? 1041 01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:31,189 Yes. 1042 01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:35,444 You have a good explanation as to what you were doing 1043 01:08:35,445 --> 01:08:38,072 riding in an alien spacecraft? 1044 01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:46,456 Nice knowing you. 1045 01:08:54,339 --> 01:08:56,715 What have we here? 1046 01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:58,426 Martians got popcorn? 1047 01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:14,984 Here you go. 1048 01:09:18,905 --> 01:09:20,740 It'll be all right. 1049 01:09:25,370 --> 01:09:27,371 What are we gonna do? 1050 01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:29,498 You're going to bed. 1051 01:09:29,499 --> 01:09:31,875 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 1052 01:09:31,876 --> 01:09:34,211 I'll call the air force, I guess. 1053 01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:37,130 You can't. They hate martians. 1054 01:09:37,131 --> 01:09:41,218 They'll shoot and drop nuclear bombs. 1055 01:09:41,219 --> 01:09:44,137 I don't know about bombs but they deserve whatever they get. Now come on. 1056 01:09:44,138 --> 01:09:46,390 But, dad, they're not really bad. 1057 01:09:46,391 --> 01:09:48,850 They're just stupid. 1058 01:09:48,851 --> 01:09:51,144 They haven't really hurt anybody. 1059 01:09:51,145 --> 01:09:54,356 If we help them get away 1060 01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:57,818 no one will ever know the difference. 1061 01:09:57,819 --> 01:10:00,487 Honey, I'm supposed to be the sheriff. 1062 01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:02,989 If I don't get help to control this 1063 01:10:02,990 --> 01:10:05,283 and it gets more out of hand 1064 01:10:05,284 --> 01:10:07,494 it'll be my fault. 1065 01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:10,539 I might as well throw away this badge. 1066 01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:13,959 That's all you care about, your stupid badge. 1067 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:16,461 If you want to be a big, important sheriff, 1068 01:10:16,462 --> 01:10:17,964 why don't you do things yourself? 1069 01:10:20,174 --> 01:10:21,801 At least they have a chance with you. 1070 01:10:42,572 --> 01:10:46,992 What are we going to do now? 1071 01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:50,454 Looks like we'll have to apply for citizenship. 1072 01:10:50,455 --> 01:10:54,207 If only we could have connected with the invasion force. 1073 01:10:54,208 --> 01:10:57,127 It could have been glorious! 1074 01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,588 If we ever get out, remind me. 1075 01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:02,507 I've got a real funny story to tell you. 1076 01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:05,218 We're doomed to spend our lives 1077 01:11:05,219 --> 01:11:08,222 breathing 74°/o nitrogen. 1078 01:11:12,185 --> 01:11:15,562 J' oh, give me a home 1079 01:11:15,563 --> 01:11:19,191 j" where the asteroids roam 1080 01:11:19,192 --> 01:11:24,112 I and the dweebs and the fuzzymugs play 1081 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:27,908 j" where gra vity's low 1082 01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:31,495 j" and the water is slow 1083 01:11:31,496 --> 01:11:37,042 j" and the desert winds blow you away 1084 01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:42,464 j" Mars, Mars is my home 1085 01:11:42,465 --> 01:11:47,469 j" where everyone's short just like me 1086 01:11:47,470 --> 01:11:50,263 j“ I wish I was where 1087 01:11:50,264 --> 01:11:53,475 j“ there is not so much air 1088 01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:58,940 j“ and two moons to smile down upon me j" 1089 01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:12,118 Hey, what are you doing here? 1090 01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:13,996 There's no place like home. 1091 01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:17,917 There's no place like home. 1092 01:12:19,126 --> 01:12:22,004 There's no place like home. 1093 01:12:35,935 --> 01:12:39,479 Hey, shortstuff, welcome back. 1094 01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:42,148 We're trying to figure out how to get outta here. 1095 01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:44,235 Got any bright ideas? 1096 01:12:47,989 --> 01:12:52,034 Well, bless your little batteries. 1097 01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:57,581 Number for the strategic air command, please. 1098 01:12:57,582 --> 01:13:00,292 What extension, please? 1099 01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:05,714 Do you have a listing for reporting unusual phenomena? 1100 01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:07,966 - A u.F.O.? - That'll do. 1101 01:13:07,967 --> 01:13:10,218 There's no such listing. 1102 01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:14,556 I do have unlimited listings for psychiatrists. 1103 01:13:14,557 --> 01:13:17,018 Wait, lady, I don't need to hear this. 1104 01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:23,566 Oh, no. 1105 01:13:25,401 --> 01:13:32,449 Kathy? 1106 01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:34,743 You melonheads! 1107 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:37,330 That was just an old radio show. 1108 01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:42,000 I figured out why you're here. 1109 01:13:42,001 --> 01:13:45,003 You were sent to ruin my Halloween, weren't you? 1110 01:13:45,004 --> 01:13:47,756 Capt. Bipto to verndroid. Come in, please. 1111 01:13:47,757 --> 01:13:50,175 Capt. Bipto to verndroid! 1112 01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:52,761 Yes, capt. Bipto? 1113 01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:56,264 Remember the surprise we were working on? 1114 01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,558 The time has come 1115 01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:02,354 to unleash its terror! 1116 01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:05,523 Would you like it equipped with nuclear warheads or particle beam weapons? 1117 01:14:05,524 --> 01:14:07,609 Who me? 1118 01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,613 Whatever. Be creative. We 7! Meet you there. 1119 01:14:16,285 --> 01:14:19,413 - Well? - Let's do it. 1120 01:14:25,628 --> 01:14:28,129 - Aw! - What's wrong? 1121 01:14:28,130 --> 01:14:30,632 The hyperfusion-feedback governor on the ship 1122 01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,801 just had a meltdown. 1123 01:14:32,802 --> 01:14:34,761 If we don't get back to zero gravity 1124 01:14:34,762 --> 01:14:38,348 in the next, oh, hour, 1125 01:14:38,349 --> 01:14:40,558 the ship's hyperdrive will implode 1126 01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:42,769 creating an ever-expanding hole 1127 01:14:42,770 --> 01:14:46,356 in the space-time continuum. 1128 01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:50,151 Making you, me, and the rest of this galaxy 1129 01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:53,488 some other universe's problem. Right? 1130 01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:54,699 Close enough. 1131 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:19,222 We look stupid, don't we? 1132 01:15:19,223 --> 01:15:21,766 Keep your head down. Maybe no one will see us. 1133 01:15:21,767 --> 01:15:23,685 I don't see why I have to pedal. 1134 01:15:23,686 --> 01:15:25,854 Nobody rides for free. 1135 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:27,523 What's he doing? 1136 01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:34,362 It's my dad! 1137 01:15:34,363 --> 01:15:37,575 - Did he spot us? - I don't think so. 1138 01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:45,165 Outta the way. Shotgun coming through. 1139 01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:47,168 We need more ammo. 1140 01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:53,214 - Did you get them? - We almost got 'em. 1141 01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:56,426 - Mr. Klembecker shot a bunny. - Shut up! 1142 01:15:56,427 --> 01:15:58,887 - It was charging! - Let's stay cool. 1143 01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:01,347 I don't want anybody to get hurt. 1144 01:16:01,348 --> 01:16:04,893 We're trapped. What are we gonna do? 1145 01:16:04,894 --> 01:16:08,355 Die horrible, searing deaths in less than an hour. 1146 01:16:09,815 --> 01:16:12,233 Can we help? 1147 01:16:12,234 --> 01:16:14,527 No, I'm fine. 1148 01:16:14,528 --> 01:16:18,406 A little more ocular welding and we'll be set. 1149 01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:20,408 What the heck is that? 1150 01:16:20,409 --> 01:16:24,245 It's a diversion. We're gonna get the ship back. 1151 01:16:24,246 --> 01:16:26,706 You better not try to stop us! 1152 01:16:26,707 --> 01:16:30,418 If you get through me, you'll have to deal with him. 1153 01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:33,672 Relax, kid, I've just come to help. 1154 01:16:35,508 --> 01:16:39,677 I already got a whole bunch of pictures. 1155 01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:44,349 If I help them get away, I'll have the only ones. 1156 01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:47,435 Gentlemen, I present 1157 01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:50,231 the farmzoid. 1158 01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:07,414 - All right. - Hurry, hurry! 1159 01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,929 Now that's a diversion! 1160 01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,727 We can't wait. 1161 01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:32,814 We have to chance it. 1162 01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:35,733 I told you to go to bed! 1163 01:17:35,734 --> 01:17:41,990 Take me to your secret government labs, and cut me into wafer-thin sections. 1164 01:17:41,991 --> 01:17:45,618 They want to go home. They've made a mistake. 1165 01:17:45,619 --> 01:17:48,329 And they're sorry. Aren't you? 1166 01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:50,790 And getting sorrier by the minute. 1167 01:17:50,791 --> 01:17:53,334 The ship's gonna blow up 1168 01:17:53,335 --> 01:17:54,795 and destroy the earth in 15 minutes! 1169 01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:57,839 Really, dad. 1170 01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:00,008 Hey, it's your planet. 1171 01:18:00,009 --> 01:18:02,468 Just for the sake of argument, 1172 01:18:02,469 --> 01:18:06,514 how are you planning on getting out? 1173 01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:08,808 There's a few things I haven't tried yet. 1174 01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:11,436 They're risky, but better than death. 1175 01:18:11,437 --> 01:18:12,646 Probably. 1176 01:18:18,485 --> 01:18:22,697 We worked really hard on creating this big diversion. 1177 01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,866 A diversion? 1178 01:18:24,867 --> 01:18:27,577 What kind of a diversion? 1179 01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:30,331 What the heck is that? 1180 01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:39,340 Uh, that diversion. 1181 01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:52,353 I gotta admit. That's a diversion. 1182 01:19:02,321 --> 01:19:05,407 I don't care what the heck that thing is. 1183 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:08,034 Adios. 1184 01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:11,079 Hey, klembecker? 1185 01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:13,081 Laugh now, butthead! 1186 01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,875 I'll drive. 1187 01:19:19,380 --> 01:19:22,090 Mayday, mayday. 1188 01:19:22,091 --> 01:19:25,718 Look, you guys caused a lot of damage here. 1189 01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:28,429 You're gonna have to make restitution somehow. 1190 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:31,349 If you promise me that, then I'll help you. 1191 01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:33,893 Promise me that you can hit that blinking red light 1192 01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:36,104 in the next 10 seconds 1193 01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:38,940 or we're gonna need help from a higher source. 1194 01:19:38,941 --> 01:19:40,442 Hang on. 1195 01:19:42,820 --> 01:19:44,612 Aaah! 1196 01:19:44,613 --> 01:19:46,448 - Which red button? - That one. 1197 01:19:47,408 --> 01:19:49,743 Not that one! 1198 01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:57,960 Mayday. Somebody answer me. 1199 01:19:59,586 --> 01:20:02,755 Capt. Bipto, what's wrong? 1200 01:20:02,756 --> 01:20:05,466 We've got problems. We'll need a miracle 1201 01:20:05,467 --> 01:20:08,761 to get this baby off the ground, much less outer space. 1202 01:20:08,762 --> 01:20:12,807 Can you tip that contraption up on its butt? 1203 01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:15,393 If the vertical orientation struts are functioning. 1204 01:20:15,394 --> 01:20:17,145 I think I've got you covered 1205 01:20:17,146 --> 01:20:19,772 but we have to get back to the farm. 1206 01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:21,253 - Tell them to meet us there. - Right. 1207 01:20:22,484 --> 01:20:24,485 Meet at the wrenchmuller farm. 1208 01:20:24,486 --> 01:20:26,904 Bipto out. 1209 01:20:26,905 --> 01:20:29,825 Hey, where do you guys grow your wrenchmullers? 1210 01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:33,870 There must be something we can use. 1211 01:20:33,871 --> 01:20:36,749 You can't just take a car. 1212 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:40,710 It's all right, kid. 1213 01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:42,129 I know this guy. 1214 01:20:47,426 --> 01:20:49,803 Vern, you come down right now, hear? 1215 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:56,517 Shoot my helpless friends, shoot! 1216 01:20:56,518 --> 01:20:58,603 Fire everything you've got. 1217 01:20:58,604 --> 01:21:00,105 The farmzoid is impervious. 1218 01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:04,735 That's it. Mom's gonna hear about this! 1219 01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:15,078 - Make a left. - Left? 1220 01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:16,913 - Left? - Right. I mean, yes. 1221 01:21:16,914 --> 01:21:19,916 Come back, you cowards. Come back here! 1222 01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:22,836 It's just a big toy robot. 1223 01:21:24,546 --> 01:21:27,882 If I win, the whole tank wins 1224 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:30,010 not just one guy. 1225 01:21:32,221 --> 01:21:34,014 Aaah! 1226 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:50,071 In case anybody's interested 1227 01:21:50,072 --> 01:21:52,907 we have 12 minutes until the end of the world. 1228 01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,493 Put this puppy into hyperdrive! 1229 01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:57,704 Maybe I better take a shortcut. 1230 01:22:03,794 --> 01:22:06,003 Listen, I'd like to live to see 1231 01:22:06,004 --> 01:22:07,880 the end of the world! 1232 01:22:07,881 --> 01:22:09,174 Okay? 1233 01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:13,637 There's the farm. 1234 01:22:15,889 --> 01:22:17,975 Whoa! 1235 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:27,567 I'm telling you, that ship has got 1236 01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:29,694 the flight potential of a cement truck. 1237 01:22:29,695 --> 01:22:31,738 I can fix that. 1238 01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:34,949 What's that? 1239 01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:38,703 That's a farmer's all-purpose helper. 1240 01:22:38,704 --> 01:22:43,207 It's guaranteed to remove stumps, gophers, 1241 01:22:43,208 --> 01:22:46,627 and improve the flight potential of a martian spaceship. 1242 01:22:46,628 --> 01:22:49,547 - Get outta here. - Help yourselves. 1243 01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:52,175 Wait up. This I gotta see. 1244 01:22:52,176 --> 01:22:55,636 This is your captain speaking. 1245 01:22:55,637 --> 01:22:59,640 I 'd like to thank you for flying air blaznee. 1246 01:22:59,641 --> 01:23:02,768 I hope we live long enough to do this again sometime. 1247 01:23:02,769 --> 01:23:05,606 Come on. You're not gonna believe this! 1248 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:11,652 - Bypass the ecto-thruster. - Guys, wait a minute. 1249 01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:13,779 That's the guy who wants to blow us up. 1250 01:23:13,780 --> 01:23:16,657 Flight one to Mars now boarding. 1251 01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:18,659 What are you gonna do with this? 1252 01:23:18,660 --> 01:23:20,786 Sheriff, ain't you ever put 1253 01:23:20,787 --> 01:23:24,290 a cherry bomb under a garbage can? 1254 01:23:24,291 --> 01:23:26,667 - Ha-ha-ha. - A what? 1255 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,961 Don't you guys ever listen? 1256 01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,672 - Anybody seen my astroplans? - Who took the torus calibrator? 1257 01:23:31,673 --> 01:23:33,799 Listen to me. 1258 01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:36,135 Blaznee, we'll fix that later. Prepare to launch. 1259 01:23:36,136 --> 01:23:38,846 - This isn't gonna work. - Don't worry. 1260 01:23:38,847 --> 01:23:41,349 Our earth friends are gonna give us an extra boost. 1261 01:23:41,350 --> 01:23:44,852 That guy wants to boost his bank account. 1262 01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:47,146 He's trying to blow up the ship. 1263 01:23:47,147 --> 01:23:49,191 Assume vertical launch position. 1264 01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:54,195 Verndroid, this is capt. Bipto. 1265 01:23:54,196 --> 01:23:56,739 Are you receiving me? 1266 01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:59,283 - Verndroid, come in, please. - Yes, capt. Bipto. 1267 01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:01,661 How may I be of assistance? 1268 01:24:01,662 --> 01:24:04,747 Your assignment is complete, verndroid. 1269 01:24:04,748 --> 01:24:07,041 Your bravery and devotion have saved us all. 1270 01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:10,795 I am so proud of you, son. 1271 01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,756 You are no longer my robot slave. 1272 01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:16,968 Live and be free! 1273 01:24:16,969 --> 01:24:19,262 Thank you, capt. Bipto. 1274 01:24:19,263 --> 01:24:21,305 It has been a pleasure serving you. 1275 01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:22,766 Now. 1276 01:24:25,352 --> 01:24:27,687 I must bid you adieu. 1277 01:24:27,688 --> 01:24:29,981 There's much work to be done. 1278 01:24:29,982 --> 01:24:31,817 You see, I have plans for this world, 1279 01:24:32,359 --> 01:24:34,403 big plans! 1280 01:24:35,862 --> 01:24:37,823 Verndroid away! 1281 01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:42,368 Mm-hmm. 1282 01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:45,746 NASA spends years calculating fuel loads, 1283 01:24:45,747 --> 01:24:49,750 launch pressures, and orbital-window dynamics. 1284 01:24:49,751 --> 01:24:52,254 You're just gonna stuff dynamite under this and light the fuse? 1285 01:24:53,255 --> 01:24:55,339 Actually, 1286 01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:58,050 I was gonna use this. 1287 01:24:58,051 --> 01:24:59,761 Kids, get behind that tractor. 1288 01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:09,187 This is supposed to save us from the end of the world? 1289 01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:13,399 Now, before we go 1290 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:16,861 does anyone need to go to the bathroom? 1291 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:21,115 Is this really gonna work? If it's not 1292 01:25:21,116 --> 01:25:24,118 we ought to figure out how to defuse that nuclear cosmos-whatever it is. 1293 01:25:24,119 --> 01:25:26,078 You know how? 1294 01:25:26,079 --> 01:25:28,414 No. 1295 01:25:28,415 --> 01:25:31,376 Then move out, or this is gonna solve everyone's problem, 1296 01:25:37,382 --> 01:25:40,176 One way or another. 1297 01:25:40,177 --> 01:25:43,387 Hey, I'm not going home in a bag! 1298 01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:46,057 I made it! I'm never gonna do this again. 1299 01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:47,768 Same here. 1300 01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:49,895 Oh! 1301 01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,282 Red alert. Run for your lives! 1302 01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:09,288 Leave them alone. 1303 01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:13,209 - Kathy, get back. - They want to go home. 1304 01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:16,003 Impossible. They have failed in their mission. 1305 01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:20,132 If you kill them now, the gravity hyperfusion 1306 01:26:20,133 --> 01:26:22,218 pheto-cuisinart will blow up in 1307 01:26:22,219 --> 01:26:24,929 5 minutes or so. 1308 01:26:24,930 --> 01:26:27,348 The earth will implode and throw Mars out of orbit 1309 01:26:27,349 --> 01:26:30,142 and it'll go crashing into the sun. 1310 01:26:30,143 --> 01:26:33,939 That would be a blemish on the old perfection record. 1311 01:26:34,523 --> 01:26:36,399 And expensive. 1312 01:26:36,400 --> 01:26:39,443 What if they took it out of your paycheck? Whoa! 1313 01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:42,113 What's a planet cost these days? 1314 01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:44,241 4 minutes, 30 seconds. 1315 01:26:49,871 --> 01:26:52,998 Very well. 1316 01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:55,292 Return to your spacecraft. 1317 01:26:55,293 --> 01:26:57,379 Every pez for himself! 1318 01:27:04,386 --> 01:27:08,222 Blaznee, you'll have exactly 6.38621 seconds 1319 01:27:08,223 --> 01:27:11,142 to fire the main engine to reach escape velocity. 1320 01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:12,978 Never tell me the decimal points. 1321 01:27:15,105 --> 01:27:19,900 I'm gonna grow up to be 5'7, 5'8 easy. 1322 01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:21,902 You're full grown. 1323 01:27:21,903 --> 01:27:26,908 I'm animal. You're polypropylene. 1324 01:27:27,492 --> 01:27:29,952 Besides 1325 01:27:29,953 --> 01:27:32,080 they really need you. 1326 01:27:34,332 --> 01:27:36,584 We can write 1327 01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:40,379 or something. 1328 01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:42,591 Geez, you're breaking my heart. 1329 01:27:43,925 --> 01:27:45,218 Here. 1330 01:27:50,182 --> 01:27:53,852 Come on, shortstuff, before they check for green cards. 1331 01:27:58,899 --> 01:28:02,401 Hey, the next time you guys visit 1332 01:28:02,402 --> 01:28:05,070 pay closer attention to our traffic laws. 1333 01:28:05,071 --> 01:28:08,116 Next time we visit? Yeech! 1334 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:13,454 Well, thanks for not killing them, Mr. Enforcer drone. 1335 01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:17,166 Sorry to interrupt. 3 minutes! 1336 01:28:17,167 --> 01:28:19,960 You misunderstood. Once we reach 1337 01:28:19,961 --> 01:28:21,921 the cold, airless depths of outer space, 1338 01:28:21,922 --> 01:28:25,132 I shall incinerate them 1339 01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,468 and toss their charred, sizzling skeletons into the cosmos. 1340 01:28:27,469 --> 01:28:30,554 Huh? Say what? 1341 01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,890 A quick vacuuming, a little air freshener 1342 01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:35,267 and will have completed my duties with perfection. 1343 01:28:35,268 --> 01:28:36,478 What? 1344 01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,147 You can't do that! 1345 01:28:40,023 --> 01:28:42,191 Better them than us. 1346 01:28:42,192 --> 01:28:44,276 I beg your pardon? 1347 01:28:44,277 --> 01:28:47,154 I thought you were nice, but I was wrong. 1348 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:49,907 You're just a selfish old man. 1349 01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:52,993 They caused more trouble than they was worth. 1350 01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:56,330 If it hadn't been for you, 1351 01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:59,041 things might have gotten further out of hand. 1352 01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:01,377 Somebody might even have gotten killed. 1353 01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:06,173 I'd say that makes you a hero in both our planets. 1354 01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:10,302 As the ambassador of the planet earth 1355 01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:13,222 I would like to present you with an award 1356 01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:15,517 as a token of our appreciation. 1357 01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:20,188 The trinitrotoluene award. 1358 01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:25,025 Kids, run and get the champagne 1359 01:29:25,026 --> 01:29:27,611 so we can do this up proper. 1360 01:29:27,612 --> 01:29:31,407 I accept in the name of goodwill, with hope 1361 01:29:31,408 --> 01:29:33,535 for peaceful coexistence of our two worlds. 1362 01:29:34,703 --> 01:29:36,538 It certainly isn't much to look at, is it? 1363 01:29:38,373 --> 01:29:41,710 Let me light it up for you so you can get the full effect. 1364 01:29:48,174 --> 01:29:49,968 How pretty! 1365 01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:56,056 How'd you like to have a photo 1366 01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:58,100 so you can remember this? 1367 01:29:58,101 --> 01:30:00,728 Yes, please. 1368 01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:06,358 Let me back up a bit so I can get the whole ship into it. 1369 01:30:06,359 --> 01:30:09,361 Are you sure there's enough light? 1370 01:30:09,362 --> 01:30:12,364 - Oh, there's gonna be plenty of light. - I'm so proud. 1371 01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:14,075 I don't know what to say. 1372 01:30:15,160 --> 01:30:18,038 You can just say your prayers. 1373 01:30:22,375 --> 01:30:24,377 - What the... - Why aren't we moving? 1374 01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,550 Great. We're stuck here. 1375 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:34,220 I guess he left. 1376 01:30:35,680 --> 01:30:38,390 What happened? 1377 01:30:38,391 --> 01:30:42,102 It's okay. Mr. Wrenchmuller blew up the enforcer drone. 1378 01:30:42,103 --> 01:30:44,105 - Hooray for our side! - Time to go. 1379 01:30:45,398 --> 01:30:49,151 - Take care of yourselves. - Break it up. 1380 01:30:49,152 --> 01:30:51,528 There's billions of lives at stake. 1381 01:30:51,529 --> 01:30:53,114 Move! 1382 01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:57,035 Don't need to tell me twice. 1383 01:31:21,643 --> 01:31:23,520 Prepare for takeoff. 1384 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:27,649 - Start the countdown. - Five. 1385 01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:30,235 - Wait a minute. - Four 1386 01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:35,155 - three, two... - I'm not in my seat. 1387 01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:36,366 One! 1388 01:31:46,626 --> 01:31:49,169 You blew them up! 1389 01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:51,840 Yeah, way up! 1390 01:31:54,300 --> 01:31:56,553 - Go, go, go! - Yeah! 1391 01:32:10,775 --> 01:32:12,569 Whoa! 1392 01:32:23,121 --> 01:32:26,165 That's it. I quit! 1393 01:32:26,166 --> 01:32:29,209 Do something! You're the pilot. 1394 01:32:29,210 --> 01:32:31,128 How 'bout if I eject? 1395 01:32:31,129 --> 01:32:32,464 Lighten the load. 1396 01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:37,468 - Hurry it up, pez. - I'm lightening! 1397 01:32:37,469 --> 01:32:40,137 We're too heavy. Something else must go. 1398 01:32:40,138 --> 01:32:43,724 We've dumped everything we can dump. 1399 01:32:43,725 --> 01:32:46,853 - Except. - Hit it, giggy. 1400 01:32:53,151 --> 01:32:54,652 - Yeah! - Yea! 1401 01:33:04,204 --> 01:33:08,208 You know, the last time I put a cherry bomb under a garbage can 1402 01:33:10,668 --> 01:33:12,629 the garbage can didn't make it. 1403 01:33:14,672 --> 01:33:16,549 I guess somebody up there likes you. 1404 01:33:19,761 --> 01:33:21,888 They just got lucky. 1405 01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:29,436 When you see my dog, 1406 01:33:29,437 --> 01:33:31,648 tell him we're moving tomorrow. 1407 01:33:47,288 --> 01:33:50,791 Good morning, Mr. Wrenchmuller. 1408 01:33:50,792 --> 01:33:53,752 The judge send you to come and throw me off? 1409 01:33:53,753 --> 01:33:55,547 No, 1410 01:33:58,216 --> 01:34:00,717 but I'm afraid this is legal. 1411 01:34:00,718 --> 01:34:04,721 It's wrong, but it's legal. 1412 01:34:04,722 --> 01:34:07,808 I was bringing somebody I thought you'd want to see. 1413 01:34:07,809 --> 01:34:10,352 Him? What do I want to see him for? 1414 01:34:10,353 --> 01:34:12,313 Not him. Him. 1415 01:34:14,482 --> 01:34:16,484 Aw, Jim, Jim. 1416 01:34:17,360 --> 01:34:19,319 Jim, boy. 1417 01:34:19,320 --> 01:34:22,531 That's all very touching. 1418 01:34:22,532 --> 01:34:25,826 As you can see, I've got things to do. 1419 01:34:25,827 --> 01:34:29,496 Unless you've got the cash or a crop to sign over, 1420 01:34:29,497 --> 01:34:31,748 I suggest you hand over those keys. 1421 01:34:31,749 --> 01:34:33,876 Hold it, Jim. Jim! 1422 01:34:33,877 --> 01:34:37,254 He ain't worth your breath! 1423 01:34:37,255 --> 01:34:40,966 You want these keys, do you? 1424 01:34:40,967 --> 01:34:41,968 Ha, ha, ha. 1425 01:34:42,886 --> 01:34:44,846 Go get 'em! 1426 01:34:53,396 --> 01:34:56,690 I'm sorry that it has to be this way. 1427 01:34:56,691 --> 01:34:59,443 You wanna hear something funny? 1428 01:34:59,444 --> 01:35:01,653 Sure. 1429 01:35:01,654 --> 01:35:04,866 You're gonna hear it right about 1430 01:35:05,783 --> 01:35:06,950 now. 1431 01:35:06,951 --> 01:35:09,746 Aaah! 1432 01:35:34,771 --> 01:35:36,689 I'll be back! 1433 01:35:58,628 --> 01:36:01,380 We're only a few hours behind schedule. 1434 01:36:01,381 --> 01:36:04,424 I was just thinking, if we hurry 1435 01:36:04,425 --> 01:36:08,095 we might make it to arcturus in time to help torture prisoners. 1436 01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:10,556 Aw, shut up! 1437 01:36:26,948 --> 01:36:31,076 J" last Halloween I had a fright 1438 01:36:31,077 --> 01:36:34,496 j“ in all my life saw the strangest sight 1439 01:36:34,497 --> 01:36:38,125 j“ never did think I might 1440 01:36:38,126 --> 01:36:41,837 j“ ever live to tell what I saw that night 1441 01:36:41,838 --> 01:36:49,838 j“ martians are taking over the world 1442 01:36:56,602 --> 01:36:58,645 J“ they were green men 1443 01:36:58,646 --> 01:37:01,565 j“ with strange lips 1444 01:37:01,566 --> 01:37:04,776 j“ and bad skin and a weird chin 1445 01:37:04,777 --> 01:37:08,155 j“ I almost died when he grabbed my head 1446 01:37:08,156 --> 01:37:12,492 j“ the little green guy just smiled and said 1447 01:37:12,493 --> 01:37:15,787 j“ "take me to your leader. Take me to your leader now!" 1448 01:37:15,788 --> 01:37:23,788 J“ martians are taking over the world 1449 01:37:31,137 --> 01:37:36,017 J“ martians are taking over the world 1450 01:37:38,436 --> 01:37:43,982 j“ martians are taking over the world 1451 01:37:43,983 --> 01:37:46,443 j“ martians are taking 1452 01:37:46,444 --> 01:37:48,570 j“ over the world 1453 01:37:48,571 --> 01:37:51,782 j“ the martians have landed. 1454 01:37:51,783 --> 01:37:55,035 J“ the martians are coming! The martians are coming! 1455 01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:57,829 J“ the martians are coming! Ha-ha-ha! 1456 01:37:57,830 --> 01:38:00,832 J“ wo... wo... wo wo... wo... wo 1457 01:38:00,833 --> 01:38:02,794 j“ the martians have landed. 1458 01:38:12,178 --> 01:38:15,555 J“ what a world how it changed my life 1459 01:38:15,556 --> 01:38:17,557 j“ I got a green girl 1460 01:38:17,558 --> 01:38:19,976 j“ made her my new wife 1461 01:38:19,977 --> 01:38:23,522 j“ gotta green house and I think maybe 1462 01:38:23,523 --> 01:38:28,860 j“ early next year I get a shiny green baby 1463 01:38:28,861 --> 01:38:36,861 j“ martians are taking over the world 1464 01:38:42,125 --> 01:38:44,793 J“idig it 1465 01:38:44,794 --> 01:38:50,048 j“ martians are taking over the world 1466 01:38:50,049 --> 01:38:54,261 j“ wo... wo... wo wo... wo... wo 1467 01:38:54,262 --> 01:38:56,639 j“ martians are taking over the world j“ 98857