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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,431 - Sorry, what... what did you say? 2 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,768 - I didn't say anything. - Oh, thought you did. 3 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,313 So what...what's up? 4 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,606 - Is this a two-bedroom? 5 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,066 'Cause I can list it as a two-bedroom 6 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,943 if there's a closet in the storage area. 7 00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:29,195 - Is that my condo? - For now. 8 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,489 Depends on how good your lawyer is. 9 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,824 - I can't really afford one. 10 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,701 My best option's Jimmy's cousin 11 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,411 who works in environmental law 12 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,455 and said she'd help me if I get coffee with her son 13 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,834 who wants to "get into comedy," which... 14 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,919 is worth... is worth it. 15 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,254 [bus horn honks] 16 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:49,466 - Ah, there she is. 17 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,388 - Wow. 18 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,848 - Gorgeous. 19 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,309 - Hi, Deborah. I am so sorry that we are late. 20 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,811 We had to stop at an outlet mall because someone... 21 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,147 uh, thought that you could sleep on jersey sheets. 22 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,690 - You must be the tour manager. 23 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,984 - Yep. Name's Alice. Everybody calls me "Weed." 24 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,069 I know what you're thinking, but I don't touch the stuff. 25 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,988 That's a nickname Pete Wentz gave me. 26 00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,909 And once Pete gives you a nickname, it...it sticks. 27 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:17,619 [laughing] 28 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,078 - I don't know, it sounds like it sticks 29 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,413 'cause that's how you introduce yourself. 30 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,998 - You security? 31 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,335 - No, this is Ava, the defendant. 32 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,669 - Oh, she's suing me. 33 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,338 I think as a bit. - It's not a bit. 34 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,465 - Not my business. Number one rule: 35 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,133 Weed stays outta the drama. 36 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:35,178 All right, we're supposed to be on the road 0700 hours. 37 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,805 We're already 30 behind schedule, 38 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,890 but I know Phil's gonna make that up for us. 39 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,475 Best driver in the biz. 40 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:43,019 And Danny here's gonna get your car back to Vegas. 41 00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:45,563 - [wheezing] 42 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,273 - You'll sit on a towel? 43 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,858 - Yes, ma'am. 44 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,028 - Load it up! - Jesus. 45 00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,739 [man continues wheezing] 46 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,409 [classical piano music] 47 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,829 - Here we are, huh? 48 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,121 [laughs] - Oh! 49 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,499 - Welcome to paradise. 50 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,042 - Very nice... 51 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,670 - Pete and I used to play dice...right here. 52 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,797 You know him? Now, he's fucking funny. 53 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,799 - Woman's obsessed with Pete Wentz. 54 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,384 - The customizations went great, 55 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,219 and we got the soda machine. 56 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,347 - Oh, Damien, you did good. - Yep. Got a lotta snacks. 57 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:22,517 We got tons of booze! - Oh, that's awesome, 58 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,727 but actually I won't be having any of that stuff. 59 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,397 I'm doing no drugs, alcohol, junk food, 60 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,816 screen time... trying to be good, you know, 61 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:32,819 make a big change in my life, so... 62 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,946 - Yeah. I don't know what you were like before, 63 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:38,241 so that's not really gonna...register for me. 64 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,701 Here's the pisser. 65 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,411 - Oh, which reminds me 66 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,580 the number one rule on the bus. 67 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,081 No number two. 68 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,916 - I don't know. I heard the number one rule is 69 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,002 "Weed doesn't get involved in the drama." 70 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,670 - Oh, there you go. 71 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,589 Say it louder for the folks up front. 72 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,966 Here's your bunk, kid. 73 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,510 - Oh, uh... 74 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,262 Sorry, this is where I sleep? - Yeah. 75 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:02,098 - It's, uh, it's tight. Less of a bed. 76 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,683 More of a sliver. 77 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,351 - You don't sleep on your side, do you? 78 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,437 'Cause that's probably not gonna work dimension wise. 79 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,856 It's not the Ramada, but you got your privacy. 80 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,609 - Sorry, um, I wanna be a team player here, 81 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,652 but, I mean, why is it so small... 82 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,321 because of this tanning bed? 83 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,780 - It's not a tanning bed. 84 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,075 That's my regenerative LED light therapy bed. 85 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,243 [machine hums] 86 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,579 - Okay. And where do you sleep? 87 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,164 - Me, I'm up in the passenger seat. 88 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,041 I'm an upright sleeper. 89 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,459 - Isn't that uncomfortable? - No way. 90 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,877 After 30 years on the road, 91 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,503 that's the only way I can sleep. 92 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,672 At home, the only thing you'll find in my bedroom 93 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,341 is a La-Z-Boy. 94 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:37,800 I'm gonna outlive all of you. 95 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,260 Horizontal sleeping is terrible for you. 96 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,930 Blood pools up... it's poisonous. - Huh. 97 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,640 Interesting that's not more widely known. 98 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,142 - Yeah, well, that's the mattress industry for you. 99 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,353 You see, they're stuffing beds into boxes now, 100 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,605 sending them through the mail? 101 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,106 What's that about? 102 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,484 - Think it's just about people getting beds, 103 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,278 but, hey, is there a place I can store my stuff? 104 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,863 - Yeah, you got a hook. 105 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,615 Right there. 106 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,744 - A hook? - Here's your room, Deb. 107 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,789 [laughs] - Holy shit! 108 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:10,500 - Yes, very nice. 109 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,336 Much better master bedroom than the last time 110 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,546 I was on one of these things. 111 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,131 - Oh, um, you actually 112 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,217 shouldn't say "master bedroom" anymore 113 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,260 'cause the term is rooted in slavery. 114 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,763 Not your problem to solve. 115 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,974 - Lunch 1300 hours! 116 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,686 [funky music plays] 117 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,020 Let's go Phil! 118 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:35,525 ♪ ♪ 119 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:40,446 [back-up beeping] 120 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,368 - Can I get you something, Miss Loretta? 121 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,787 - Oh, no, I'm not hungry. 122 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,832 - Come on, come shopping with us. 123 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,709 You can help me pick out a outfit 124 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,669 for Edna's birthday celebration. 125 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,212 - You never take my fashion advice. 126 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,547 - Well, you don't really know that much 127 00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,383 about women's bodies, you know? 128 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,719 - Come on, it'll be fun. 129 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,053 - Mom. - What? 130 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,388 - I know what you're doing, 131 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,098 and you don't have to babysit me. 132 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,393 I'm fine... it was practically a mutual breakup. 133 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:11,894 - These are stale. 134 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,438 - Honey... 135 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,357 have you even talked to Wilson at all? 136 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,735 - No, I blocked his number. 137 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,194 - Marcus. - Marcus! 138 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,655 - Okay, don't say "Marcus" in unison to me. 139 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,741 Talking is not going to change anything. 140 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,160 He has a job. I have a career. 141 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,704 It's never going to work. - Oh, okay. 142 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,957 Well, can, um, can I keep talking to him? 143 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:33,958 - No! 144 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,418 - Okay, I won't. 145 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,462 But if Roman Reigns... - Mm! 146 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,422 - Ever goes to the AEW, 147 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,340 can I at least DM him? 148 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,800 - Sure, Mom. 149 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,802 If Roman Reigns gets to AEW, 150 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,721 you can DM my ex-boyfriend. 151 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,139 - Whoo! Okay. 152 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,475 And thank you, baby. - Mm-mm, girl, 153 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,101 these spicy cashews is good. 154 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,063 I-I'ma take these to go. - Gimme one. 155 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,147 - Enjoy. - Mm-mm. You're on high 156 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,190 blood pressure medicine. 157 00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,234 [funky music plays] 158 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:04,030 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:06,282 - ♪ The love bus ♪ 160 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,159 - Hurry up. I got us eating for 30... 161 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,452 no more, no less. 162 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,121 Butts in seats, axles moving at 14:00! 163 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,706 - Got it! - We know! 164 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,334 - Okay. So that is the diner. I called ahead. 165 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,211 They do not have Nancy's organic cottage cheese. 166 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,921 But I'm going to go to that grocery store 167 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,881 where they do have it, and the manager promised me 168 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,216 that they will plate it for you. 169 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,342 - Oh, fabulous, thank you, Damien. 170 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,718 - Thank you. 171 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,095 - Oh, I'm gonna run over to that cell phone store. 172 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,596 Could you grab me something to go, 173 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,182 like whatever vegan option they have? 174 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,477 You know, the veggie burgers at these places 175 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,479 can really surprise you. 176 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,945 - That's why I started taking Ape-Brain nootropix, 177 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,571 and I'm thinking better, 178 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,990 I'm pumping better, I'm feeling better. 179 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,451 - Hi. - Oh, uh, Hi. 180 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,537 - I'm, uh, I'm looking for a new phone. 181 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,789 - Uh, so like an upgrade? 182 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,165 - Mmm, no. Downgrade. 183 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,959 I just need a phone that doesn't have access 184 00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:01,671 to email, internet, social media... just like a dumb phone, 185 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,006 basically like a brick. 186 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,508 Okay, uh... 187 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:09,387 Ah. So this is a really basic flip phone. 188 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,681 I got it as a buyback from a lady 189 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,225 who got it for her husband who needed really big buttons 190 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,519 'cause of his dementia, but... 191 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:20,064 he just, d... um, doesn't need it anymore. 192 00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,153 - I... 193 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,404 love it. 194 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,865 - Crazy. All right. 195 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,286 [beeping] 196 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,166 - Where is she? 197 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,792 - I think she went to go get a new phone. 198 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,294 I don't know, I wasn't listening. 199 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,212 The girl talks too slow. - Oh, speaking of phones, 200 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,631 I want everybody's phones collected at the show tonight. 201 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,175 I don't want anybody recording material 202 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,301 that I'm still working out. 203 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,802 Show's nowhere near ready. 204 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,721 - Yeah, the Faraday bags have not arrived yet, 205 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,763 but it is Okay. 206 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,765 I have it all worked out. 207 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,143 - You're nine minutes late. We got a problem? 208 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,811 You gonna be an issue for me? 209 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,396 - Oh, sorry, sorry. 210 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,398 I just... I saw this water bottle, 211 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,733 and I needed to get it. 212 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,443 - All right, guys. This tour schedule 213 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,278 is one of the most ambitious I've ever seen, 214 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,239 and it only works if we stick to the itinerary. 215 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,490 We got it? 216 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,658 - Got it. - Okay. 217 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,076 - Can... can... 218 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,787 - Okay. Sorry. - Jesus Christ. 219 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,081 Let's go, Phil. [engine turns] 220 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,467 - Hmm. 221 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:40,019 Could I maybe take out one of your creams from the fridge 222 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,355 just to store something temporarily? 223 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,522 - Absolutely not. 224 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,399 - Okay, sorry. 225 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:49,320 Was just looking for a spot for my kombucha. 226 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,239 - Kombucha doesn't need to be refrigerated. 227 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,698 It's made in a bathtub. 228 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,451 - Well, actually, if it's not kept cold, 229 00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:58,746 it'll keep fermenting in the bottle and it can explode. 230 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,289 - Oh God, fine here. Give it to me. 231 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,999 - Thanks. 232 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,626 [bottle shatters] - Oh! 233 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:07,546 - Hm. You were right, it did explode. 234 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,800 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,969 - So I went from sitcom star to being 236 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,972 the crazy lady who burned down her ex-husband's house. 237 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,432 But I didn't do it. 238 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,184 Yeah. The only thing I've ever burned 239 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,811 was a bridge with "Hollywood Squares" 240 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:24,021 when they put me in the upper left. 241 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,898 Come on, you'd laugh if you knew 242 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,025 how bad the upper left was... it was next to Paul Lynde, 243 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,444 and he had the worst pastrami bur... 244 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,742 - Hello, Deborah. 245 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,661 We miss you. 246 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,998 And we wanted to tell you someone was a very brave boy 247 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,417 about getting his anal glands expressed today. 248 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,252 [Deborah mock gasps] - The vet says 249 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,087 no more spraying them with perfume anymore, 250 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,923 unfortunately. [dogs panting, whining] 251 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,010 - 9:00 a.m., QVC check in-call... 252 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,847 send an answer to Dr. Scholls emails... 253 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,433 and you need to get... pellet ice. 254 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,312 - Damien, you're talking in your sleep again. 255 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,105 Shut up about Deborah's schedule. 256 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,690 - Mmm. 257 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,946 Oh, my God. Sirius XM! 258 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,781 [Ava groans] 259 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,078 - Stop! 260 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,331 [bus brakes squeal, thudding] 261 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,373 [Ava groans] 262 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,375 [brakes hiss] Oh... 263 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,544 Oh my god...fuck... 264 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,463 [continues groaning] 265 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,214 What happened? 266 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,382 Did we hit something? 267 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,051 - Deborah saw a yard sale. 268 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,220 - Oh, oh, fuck. 269 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,350 [background chatter] 270 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,813 - Kidding me? You are kidding me. 271 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,444 [Deborah gasps] 272 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,404 - Oh that's nice. 273 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,073 - Isn't that fun? Yeah. 274 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,076 [low chatter continues] 275 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,703 - Excuse me, is this yours? - Yeah, yeah. 276 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,538 - Yes, what are you asking for it? 277 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,208 - Uh, I can do 250. - Huh. 250. 278 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:08,793 [whispering] They don't know what they've got. 279 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,003 This worth 20 grand. 280 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,757 Um, there's kind of a sizable nick on this side 281 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,133 and some scratches here. 282 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,469 Gonna have to refinish the whole thing. 283 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,805 Um, would you take 150? 284 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,515 - Come on. 285 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,934 - Please? 286 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,143 [giggles] 287 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,104 - Yeah Okay, sure. - Thank you! 288 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,692 - How're you gonna get this thing on the bus? 289 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,278 [grunting] 290 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,114 - Watch the finials. Watch the finials! 291 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,032 - This was an unscheduled stop. 292 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,826 Do not get in your heads that there will be 293 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,244 unscheduled stops. 294 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,703 If you need to make an unscheduled stop, 295 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,788 you have to schedule it with me first. 296 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,164 - Okay, we get it. 297 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,374 Deborah, where're we going with this? 298 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,792 - Right... right there. 299 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,044 - Hold on that's right in front of my bunk. 300 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,921 Are you kidding me? 301 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,423 - I know. You're gonna have to move it 302 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,383 every time I want to use my LED bed. 303 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,634 - [small laugh] 304 00:11:58,717 --> 00:11:59,969 [Deborah sighs] 305 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,056 You know, I'll think about storing it under the bus, 306 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,393 but only after we get a furniture pad. 307 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,855 Mmm. - So it's good here? 308 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:13,649 - Yes, thank you, Phil. - You got it. 309 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,698 - Okay. What's going on? 310 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,742 Why is she being meaner to you than usual? 311 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:26,912 - I was mad 312 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,789 and I got drunk and high, 313 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,167 and I sent a very revealing email about her, 314 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,335 and how she's suing me for violating my NDA. 315 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,337 - Ugh... - I know I shouldn't have. 316 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,381 - No, I just hate it when she doesn't keep me 317 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,216 looped into new lawsuits. 318 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,052 - So, yeah. 319 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,429 Pretty much ruined everything, 320 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,848 and she hates me now. - I don't get it. 321 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,933 I mean, why doesn't she just fire you? 322 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,518 She loves firing people. 323 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,145 - I don't know, I guess 'cause I'm her joke writer 324 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,396 and I'm funny. 325 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,274 - Hmm. Mm-hmm. No, not to me. 326 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,610 Ah, I'm not trying to be rude. 327 00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,528 It's just, I don't like comedy. 328 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,031 - Like...like all comedy? 329 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,574 - I mean, everyone's trying too hard. 330 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,658 It's like so awkward. 331 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,536 - You are... 332 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,288 right, actually. 333 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:12,291 - You guys see this? 50 cents. 334 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,751 [laughing] 335 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:17,338 [energetic music] 336 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,715 - Cellphone? - Here you go. 337 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,550 You are number 19. Remember that. 338 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,676 - Okay. 339 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,137 - Next? - Hi, here you go. 340 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,598 - All right. You're number 20. 341 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,058 Please remember that. 342 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,893 And everyone, please remember your number 343 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,353 to collect your phone after the show. 344 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,021 Thank you so much. 345 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,524 [distant laughter] 346 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,692 [announcer in background] 347 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,736 - Oh, actually, I thought of a tag 348 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,279 for that business manager run... 349 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,907 - Just put it on an index card. 350 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,325 - You sounded great out there. 351 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,118 - Thank you. 352 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,828 [muffled cheers and applause] 353 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,580 - Oh, hey, great, set. 354 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,042 - Oh, uh, yeah. Oh, thank you so much. 355 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,460 - You're an excellent joke writer. 356 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,920 Believe me, those are hard to find. 357 00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,421 - Oh my God. 358 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,966 Uh, wow, that means so much coming from you. 359 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,509 - Oh, Thanks. 360 00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,803 - Honestly, I was like obsessed 361 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,638 with your Oxygen special when I was ten. 362 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,099 I used to tell your altar boy gangbang joke 363 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,350 to kids at recess. 364 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,935 - How did it do? 365 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,770 - Oh, killed! 366 00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,355 Definitely worth the suspension. 367 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,608 [laughs] 368 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,609 Oh God! 369 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,777 [laughter] 370 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,153 Oh, come... come sit. 371 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,573 - Okay. Sure. 372 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,449 Oh, you've pretty hands. - Ah. 373 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,451 - No, really, you could be a hand model. 374 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,745 Oh, they're so delicate. - Thank you. 375 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,790 - Oh, I am being so rude, Ava, it's Lori, right? 376 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:38,544 Could you get Lori and I couple of ice waters from the bar? 377 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,172 - Yeah, no problem. - Thanks. 378 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,217 And this is a great look. - The overalls? 379 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,802 - Oh, yeah. No, love that. 380 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,304 - Oh, cool. - I should try that. 381 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,597 What do you think? - Yeah, you should. 382 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,682 That sounds fun. - You can go now. 383 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,812 - Okay. 384 00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,772 Um...thank you. 385 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,781 [knocking] 386 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,659 - Oh, Josefina, you look really nice. 387 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,911 - Thank you. Can you button me up? 388 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,372 - Sure, yeah. 389 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,376 You know, if this is a move, I am gay. 390 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,378 - [laughs] I have a date. 391 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,213 - Oh, I didn't know you were dating. 392 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,132 - Well, I wasn't. But with Deborah gone, 393 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,052 I finally started having nights to myself, and... 394 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,388 I got tired of coming home to an empty house. 395 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,807 - Was it scary to get back out there? 396 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,935 - It was at first, but once I made the choice, 397 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,395 it was great. 398 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,981 And now I've had five dates with Vernon 399 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,608 and I finally met his kids. 400 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,193 They all have the same haircut, 401 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,111 but I don't know yet if it's intentional. 402 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,572 - Huh, okay, well, you're all set. 403 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:49,782 - Thank you. 404 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,116 - I love those earrings, by the way. 405 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,743 - They're Deborah's. - Oh... 406 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,579 - Shh. Don't tell her, or I'll tell her you were the one 407 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,414 who put the marshmallow in the panini maker. 408 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,832 - My lips are sealed. 409 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,542 Have fun. - Thank you. 410 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,378 Don't stay here too late. 411 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,880 You work too hard, Marcus. 412 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,131 Good night. 413 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,091 - Good night. 414 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,719 [piano music plays] 415 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,639 ♪ ♪ 416 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:14,973 [audience laughs] 417 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,767 - Apparently, I wasn't the best mother. 418 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,478 In fact, I was officially the worst, 419 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,188 according to the "National Enquirer." 420 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:24,191 No, it's true, in '87, I was number one 421 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,568 on their list of worst moms. 422 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,113 And that was the year Baby Jessica fell down that well. 423 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,240 [laughter] But I thought, you know, 424 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,908 they don't know a thing about me. 425 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,369 But then I made their list of best-dressed, 426 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,746 so I thought, well, maybe they do know 427 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,581 what they're talking about. 428 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,625 [light laughter] 429 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,585 - You don't have it written down anywhere? 430 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,422 - No, no, I do not, because I told you to remember it. 431 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,799 Um, uh, what's your number? 432 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,426 - He said he doesn't remember it. 433 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:54,138 - His cell phone number. Just dial it from my phone. 434 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,056 - Oh, this is ridiculous. 435 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,599 - Shh! Shh! [phone buzzing] 436 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,435 I'm following the buzz. 437 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,479 [phone buzzing] 438 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,483 - How was the show? - Horrible. 439 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,902 - Yes. Not a great set. 440 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,238 - Oh, yeah. Only one show, right? 441 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,490 - You're only as good as your last show. 442 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,783 Where are we tomorrow night? 443 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,618 - OKC, sold-out house. 444 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,704 - Oh, thank God. I always do well there. 445 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,247 I need this. 446 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:23,125 - Do you wanna work on the "National Enquirer" bit? 447 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,753 - No, I want you to work on it while I rest. 448 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,546 I haven't been sleeping. It's not helping. 449 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,631 - I hear you, Deb. Not sleeping great myself. 450 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,717 This chair reclines way too much. 451 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,479 [loud thud, clattering] 452 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,315 - [groans] 453 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,652 Oh fuck... 454 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,742 - Passing on the Chobani ad... 455 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,267 Fuck. 456 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,814 Oh, shit! 457 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,690 [hyperventilating] 458 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,526 - What are you doing? - Fuck! 459 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,778 - What? 460 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,488 - What is going on? 461 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,198 - Have you seen a tennis ball canister? 462 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,991 It was in my backpack, and it's really important. 463 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,535 - Yeah, I threw that out. 464 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,036 - What? 465 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,871 - Yeah, just some dirt in a tennis ball canister 466 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,581 was rolling around the bus, so I tossed it. 467 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,542 - Tha... that dirt was my dad. 468 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,751 Those are his ashes! 469 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,170 - What the fuck... - Oh my God. 470 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,797 - You threw them out? - They were on the ground! 471 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,632 - Yeah, well, they probably fell out of my bag 472 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,551 'cause all I have for storage on this stupid bus 473 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,593 is a fucking hook! 474 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,886 - Well, sorry. I texted you. 475 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,096 - No, you didn't! - Yes, I did. 476 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,597 I sent you a photo. 477 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,307 I said, "Is this yours or can I throw it out?" 478 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,767 - Well, I never got it 'cause I have a stupid 479 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,227 old flip phone that can't get pictures. 480 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,937 - Oh, you should get a smartphone. 481 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,063 They're a game changer. 482 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,565 - I know about smart phones! 483 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,234 I'm trying to be a good person, you dumb bitch! 484 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,696 - What is happening? 485 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,240 Why the fuck is my La Mer on the ground? 486 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,702 - We threw away Ava's dad's ashes. 487 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,579 - Oh, Jesus. 488 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:24,913 - It was an accident. - Where? 489 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,748 Where did you throw them out? 490 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,668 - Uh...musta been when I had supper 491 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,421 at McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's. 492 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,215 - Or? You don't fucking remember where you ate dinner? 493 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,050 - Yeah, I remember. I ate at all three. 494 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,177 I like the fries at McDonald's, the burgers at Burger King, 495 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,555 charbroiled, and the Frostys at Wendy's. 496 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,223 So, yeah, it's probably in the trash at one of those. 497 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,226 - Okay, we have to go back. I have to get it... 498 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,978 - No, no. Sorry about your papa. 499 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,772 That's my bad. But we're way too far away. 500 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,816 We got to get to Oklahoma. We can't double back now, 501 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,443 or it's gonna throw the whole schedule off. 502 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,694 - Oh my God, fine! 503 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,446 Then just stop the bus and drop me off. 504 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,447 I'll call an Uber. 505 00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,489 - Uh, without a smartphone? 506 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,699 - Fuck! I'll hitchhike. 507 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,284 Just please stop the bus. 508 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,786 Please, Phil, pull over. - No, Phil, do not pull over. 509 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,413 - Please pull over! - Phil, do not pull over! 510 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,540 - Please I need to get off! - Stop! 511 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,294 Turn the bus around. 512 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,839 - Deb... - Turn the bus around. 513 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,967 - Phil! 514 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,761 Turn it around! 515 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:30,437 - Girl, are you gonna play a word tonight? 516 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,813 - It's your turn. 517 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,650 - Is it? - I think so. 518 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:37,027 - I'm drunk. - Me too. 519 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,487 [laughter] 520 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,489 - Hello, we're home. 521 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,116 - [whispering] "We're"? - [whispering] "We're"? 522 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,163 - Oh my God, it's a little puppy. 523 00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:50,749 - Mom, Miss Loretta, this is Joe. 524 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,334 - Okay, wait, wait, wait, don't crowd him, Loretta, 525 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,961 'cause you'll make him nervous. - Oh. 526 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,004 - Suckah! - Oh fuck you, bitch. 527 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,339 Gimme the dog. 528 00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:00,259 Let me see, you baby... 529 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,302 - When did you become a dog guy? 530 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,096 - Since I made the choice to be one. 531 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:06,473 - Oh, look at his little doggy dick. 532 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,225 Look at the little puppy... - Loretta. 533 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,851 - Give me the dog back. - I just wanted to see 534 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,186 if it was a boy... - That wasn't me, that was her. 535 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,479 - No, it's both of y'all. 536 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,022 She ruined it for the both of you. 537 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,565 - I just wanted to see if boy or a girl. 538 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,651 - I said his name is Joe. - See what you did? 539 00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,027 - Joe can be a girl's name. 540 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,654 You know, like in "Little Women." 541 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,030 - What? - You know. 542 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,573 - Okay, no, I don't know. 543 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,325 - Everybody read "Little Women" in school, baby. 544 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,077 I went to school with white folk. 545 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,421 - [groans] It wasn't at the first two places. 546 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,381 It has to be here. 547 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:42,217 [clattering continues] 548 00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:45,721 - For Christ's sake! 549 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:47,139 Phil, hold this. 550 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:51,685 [stirring music] 551 00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:56,648 ♪ ♪ 552 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:59,484 I already went through that. Ugh... 553 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:02,320 - Ohh...what the fuck? 554 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,785 - Wait, what's that? What's that, what's that? 555 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,830 - What? - On your left under that shoe. 556 00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:14,750 - [gasps] 557 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,334 [screams] Yes! [voice echoes] 558 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,171 Oh my God, thank you guys so much. 559 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,423 - Yeah. Yeah. 560 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,091 Okay, Damien? 561 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,844 Find us a bar. - On it. 562 00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:29,306 [soft pop music, low chatter] 563 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:36,104 ♪ ♪ 564 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,522 - No dirty martini? 565 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,940 - Oh no. 566 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,151 Can't trust them to make a good martini here. 567 00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:44,780 No, you only order white wine in a bar on the road, 568 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:47,365 because a cheap red is always terrible, but a cheap white 569 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,618 at least you can live with, 'cause it's chilled. 570 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:50,744 - Ah. 571 00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,711 Thank you for that. 572 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:02,631 I know you really don't owe me anything, 573 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,299 so I appreciate it. 574 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,469 And I'm sorry I freaked out, I just... 575 00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:09,179 things with my dad happened really fast, 576 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:13,183 and I was just scared I fucked something else up. 577 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:16,269 And I'm sorry if I put us off our schedule. 578 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:19,856 I hope we can still make it to Oklahoma City in time. 579 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:22,984 - It doesn't really matter if we have to skip that one. 580 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,112 Those poor people have seen enough bombings. 581 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,822 - [chuckling] 582 00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,283 - Oh, come on, we're only a few shows in. 583 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,702 - I don't know. 584 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,123 Usually something, you know, clicks by now. 585 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,418 I mean, I'm not even gonna 586 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:43,046 get a new residency in Reno with this. 587 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:46,133 [buzzer on TV, announcer in background] 588 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,510 - My dad used to always want me to watch with him. 589 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,137 He loved basketball. 590 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,389 But I usually said no because I don't really care 591 00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,850 about sports and also the sound of the sneakers 592 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:57,185 squeaking on the floor really bothers me. 593 00:23:57,269 --> 00:24:00,147 You know, it's like eeh eeh eeh-eeh-eeh... 594 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,899 - I get it. - Yeah. 595 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,986 Yeah, so I never really watched with him, 596 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:07,696 which was dumb. 597 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:11,074 Should have just given him like two fucking hours of my day. 598 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:15,328 Anyway, point is, 599 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,247 I do always remember this thing 600 00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:18,999 he told me about this one team. 601 00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:21,668 Their motto was "Trust the process." 602 00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:25,297 And I remember thinking, like, "That's a good philosophy." 603 00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:28,675 You know, like every game, win or lose, 604 00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,468 it's just part of it. 605 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,180 You're on the path to something bigger, 606 00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:36,808 so the individual setbacks don't get you down. 607 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,729 So maybe just... 608 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,647 trust the process. 609 00:24:48,069 --> 00:24:49,613 - Oh, my God, will you just order 610 00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:50,780 a glass of wine or something? 611 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,616 - I'm trying to be good. 612 00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:54,743 - Well, then get back to being good tomorrow morning. 613 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:56,203 Don't make me drink alone. 614 00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,622 I mean, what else are you good for? 615 00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:04,753 - Oh, barkeep? 616 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,796 - What can I get you? - I'll have what she's having. 617 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,924 - Sure. Also, sorry to eavesdrop, 618 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:12,260 but that team you were thinking of is the Philadelphia 76ers. 619 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,262 - Yes, right! 620 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:17,182 - So did it work? Did they win a championship? 621 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:19,851 - Oh, no, they blow it every year, they suck. 622 00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:23,772 [laughter] 623 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:30,695 - That's great. 624 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:31,863 That's good. 625 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,745 So, what are you going to do with that? 626 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,498 - Yeah, um, I'm not sure. 627 00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:45,794 I mean, I know I want to scatter them, but I... 628 00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:47,128 I don't know where. 629 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,881 - Don't look at me. I'm a mausoleum gal. 630 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:56,221 [light music] 631 00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:58,640 ♪ ♪ 632 00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:00,934 - I'll be right back. 633 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,063 [phone rings] 634 00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:07,315 - Palmetto Resort and Spa. This is Ray. 635 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,109 - Hey, Ray, it's Ava. 636 00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:11,152 Room 358. 637 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:12,696 Lived there for a very sad amount of time. 638 00:26:12,779 --> 00:26:14,364 - Yeah, if you're looking for your night guard, 639 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,865 It was in Lost and Found for two weeks, 640 00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:17,492 and then after that if it's not claimed... 641 00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:18,994 - No, I actually had a question for you. 642 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,537 I'm trying to figure out what to do 643 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,122 with my dad's ashes, and I was wondering 644 00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:24,499 if I could ask what you did with your dad's? 645 00:26:24,582 --> 00:26:27,961 - Oh, well we spread his ashes... 646 00:26:28,044 --> 00:26:29,963 - The spa? - Spa's on the third floor. 647 00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:31,840 Yeah. 648 00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:34,050 We spread his ashes in Key West Florida 649 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,553 'cause that was like his favorite place in the world. 650 00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:39,681 Did your dad have a place he loved like that? 651 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:42,517 - Um, honestly, no. 652 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,020 He worked a ton and didn't really get to travel. 653 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,479 I mean, I think that was... 654 00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:49,899 probably a big regret of his, actually. 655 00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:52,527 - Well, I mean, you're driving across the country, right? 656 00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:54,946 Couldn't you spread a little bit of him in each state? 657 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:59,034 So it's like he finally got to travel? 658 00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:01,536 - Oh my God, that's such a good idea. 659 00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:04,205 You're incredibly emotionally intelligent, Ray. 660 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,582 - Yeah, well, the fact that you sound surprised 661 00:27:05,665 --> 00:27:07,375 is actually super condescending. 662 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,669 - Okay, and another great read on the situation. 663 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,880 - Okay, great, I have to go. 664 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:14,591 Sir, we've already given you so much lotion. 665 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:29,522 [soft music] 666 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:36,654 ♪ ♪ 667 00:27:43,661 --> 00:27:46,247 - So... 668 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,833 here's the Grand Canyon, Dad. 669 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,261 - You're done? - Yeah. 670 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,680 I'm going to do a little bit in every city we go to. 671 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:03,890 - Oh. 672 00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:06,726 - Except the far right strongholds. 673 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:07,852 - Cool. - All right, 674 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,187 this reroute killed us. 675 00:28:09,270 --> 00:28:11,147 Let's bottle up Papa, ladies. 676 00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:13,149 Hit the road, Jack! 677 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:16,152 - Jesus. 678 00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:29,999 You know, it's probably good that your dad didn't live 679 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:33,670 to see me take you for everything you're worth. 680 00:28:33,753 --> 00:28:35,713 - Yeah. 681 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:39,217 ["Sea Of Heartbreak" by Don Gibson plays] 682 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:41,052 [humming] 683 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,430 ♪ The lights ♪ 684 00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:45,723 ♪ In the harbor ♪ 685 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,642 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 686 00:28:47,725 --> 00:28:50,145 ♪ Don't shine for me ♪ 687 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,188 ♪ Bom bom bom bom ♪ 688 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:56,234 ♪ I'm like a lost ship ♪ 689 00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:58,153 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 690 00:28:58,236 --> 00:29:00,947 ♪ Adrift on the sea ♪ 691 00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:04,159 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 692 00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,369 ♪ Lost love an' loneliness ♪ 693 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:10,665 ♪ Memories of your caress, so divine ♪ 694 00:29:10,748 --> 00:29:14,586 ♪ I wish you were mine again, my dear ♪ 695 00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:17,422 ♪ I am on this sea of tears ♪ 696 00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:20,175 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 697 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,845 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 698 00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:27,599 ♪ How did I lose you? ♪ 699 00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:29,809 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 700 00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:33,188 ♪ Oh, where did I fail? ♪ 701 00:29:33,271 --> 00:29:35,023 ♪ Bom bom bom bom ♪ 702 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:38,276 ♪ Why did you leave me ♪ 703 00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:40,195 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 704 00:29:40,278 --> 00:29:43,531 ♪ Always to sail? ♪ 705 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:46,201 ♪ This sea of heartbreak ♪ 706 00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:48,536 ♪ Lost love an' loneliness ♪ 707 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:52,582 ♪ Memories of your caress, so divine ♪ 708 00:29:52,665 --> 00:29:56,252 ♪ How I wish you were mine again, my dear ♪ 50235

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